💔No More Backing Down [Binge-Watch] Full Series | Would you forgive him? 🤔─影片 Dailymotion

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😊Click to download the app to watch all episodes for free: https://reelslink.com/marketing/HZYBWe 🌎For FULL HD Episodes on ReelShort site:🔗 https://www.reelshort.com/movie/no-more-backing-down-6ac7ad5d222e032eac0a2e5a  🍁Notice: Guilty Sheets Hub is an officially authorized publisher of ReelShort content.  👇 Let's play a game: What would you do if your partner drove off without you during a road trip? 🚗💨 For Ximena in "No More Backing Down," it was the wake-up call she needed! She stopped running after people who didn't care and built an amazing solo life. Six months later, the ex returns on his knees. 🛑 Should she take him back? Drop your answers in the comments while watching this addictive mini-series! 🍿🎬  🎬 CATEGORY: Female, Reunion as Strangers, Drama, Breakup

Transcript

00:00:02On the day of our graduation trip, my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest

00:00:08stop.

00:00:09They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

00:00:13When Preston Whitaker called me, there was no urgency in his voice, only irritation.

00:00:21Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

00:00:24Stop making this a thing. We still have to make it for sunset. We can't turn around.

00:00:27Call yourself an Uber and come over.

00:00:29On the other end, Blair Hayes' voice was clear too.

00:00:32She's not a child. Do you really have to manage everything for her?

00:00:36If it had been before, I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

00:00:40Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

00:00:43But this time, standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky, I suddenly did not want

00:00:49to chase anymore.

00:00:50I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

00:00:54I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

00:00:59The one they always said was, too boring.

00:01:01In that moment, I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

00:01:06This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

00:01:10For four years of college, I had gone with him to many places.

00:01:14National parks, canyons, deserts, and many remote highways.

00:01:17All routes he liked, before graduation.

00:01:20I brought it up to him once.

00:01:22Preston, let's go to the beach.

00:01:24Find a quieter little town, sleep in a bit, eat seafood, feel the ocean breeze, and not rush anywhere.

00:01:30Okay.

00:01:31The graduation trip is up to you.

00:01:33I was happy for a long time.

00:01:35I made three versions of the itinerary.

00:01:38The hotel was next to the old street, with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at

00:01:43night.

00:01:43I even secretly bought a white dress, wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

00:01:48But one week before departure, Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

00:01:59Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

00:02:01You can go to the beach anytime.

00:02:02Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

00:02:05This route looks good.

00:02:06But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

00:02:10Kamina, you don't seriously want to turn graduation trip into retirement life, do you?

00:02:14We're only in our early 20s.

00:02:16Don't live like you're already that dull.

00:02:19The others in the group sent laughing emojis, too.

00:02:22Somebody said it was only worth it if we went to national parks and shot epic photos.

00:02:27Someone said the beach was too ordinary.

00:02:29Someone else said a pairing like Preston and Blair would be wasted if they didn't shoot a road movie.

00:02:35Preston did not speak up for me.

00:02:36That's enough.

00:02:37He only messaged me privately.

00:02:38Don't kill everyone's mood.

00:02:41Blair isn't wrong.

00:02:42I'll take you to the beach some other time.

00:02:43Some other time.

00:02:44He always pushed so many things into some other time.

00:02:47But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

00:02:49I stared at that message, my heart aching, and finally replied with only one word.

00:02:54Okay, so I canceled all the seaside hotel reservations.

00:02:58I researched the national park route again, booked the car, booked Airbnbs, checked elevation, checked weather, made the budget, and

00:03:05bought travel insurance.

00:03:07Blair sent a line in the group.

00:03:09Kamina is still reliable with planning.

00:03:11She added a clapping emoji after it.

00:03:13Looking at that sentence, I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

00:03:18On departure day, Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

00:03:22Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

00:03:24She wore sunglasses, held an iced latte, and still had one leg outside the car.

00:03:29When she saw me dragging my suitcase out, she lifted her chin.

00:03:34Kamina, sit in the back.

00:03:36I get a little carsick.

00:03:38The front is more comfortable.

00:03:39I get carsick too.

00:03:40Preston knew that.

00:03:41I had just opened my mouth when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

00:03:44Just put up with it for now.

00:03:46Blair was editing until 3 last night.

00:03:48She's not doing great.

00:03:49There's more room in the back.

00:03:50You can sleep for a while.

00:03:51I watched him do all of that so naturally and suddenly remembered the long trip during freshman year.

00:03:56Back then, I got carsick too, badly.

00:03:59Pull over for a second.

00:04:01He gave me the passenger seat, sat in the back himself, and kept handing me water and tissues.

00:04:07Back then, he said,

00:04:08So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

00:04:10I want to spoil her.

00:04:11Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk and turned to Blair.

00:04:15Buckle up.

00:04:16Let's go.

00:04:17Standing beside the car, I smiled a little.

00:04:20Get in already.

00:04:21We're leaving.

00:04:23Only then did I realize he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

00:04:28They chatted excitedly the whole way they talked about shooting angles, drone routes, and which stretch of highway was best

00:04:34for sunset.

00:04:35Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film, the title could be Before Graduation, we

00:04:41fled into the wild.

00:04:41I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

00:04:45Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

00:04:47What time to leave.

00:04:48What time to arrive.

00:04:50Where we could get gas.

00:04:51Where we could eat.

00:04:52Which stretches had no signal.

00:04:54Which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water.

00:04:58Several times, I tried to join in.

00:05:00The view up ahead is nice.

00:05:02The Airbnb host for tonight said, the road up the mountain is narrow.

00:05:07We'd better arrive before dark.

00:05:10No one answered.

00:05:11At lunch at a rest stop, I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

00:05:16This place has bad reviews.

00:05:18A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

00:05:19Let's go to the one next door.

00:05:20Blair glanced at the sign.

00:05:22I want this Tex-Mec place.

00:05:23A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

00:05:25Sure.

00:05:26Your call.

00:05:27But your stomach is already sensitive.

00:05:30Simana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

00:05:32It's just one meal.

00:05:33It's not that serious.

00:05:35In the end, they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

00:05:38Preston ate happily.

00:05:39Less than half an hour after eating.

00:05:44His stomach hurt so badly, his face turned pale.

00:05:47I dug stomach medicine out of my bag, poured water, and handed it to him.

00:05:51Simana, you really are like his mom.

00:05:55She's always been like that.

00:05:57Used to managing me.

00:05:58My hand froze in midair.

00:06:00I was clearly caring about him.

00:06:02But from their mouths, it sounded like some boring joke.

00:06:04In the afternoon, we kept driving.

00:06:06The weather turned worse, and fog rose near the mountains.

00:06:09Don't drive too fast.

00:06:10There are a series of curves ahead.

00:06:12Simana, if you're scared, close your eyes and rest.

00:06:15Don't distract him.

00:06:18You heard her.

00:06:20Close your eyes.

00:06:20I gripped the seat belt and said nothing more.

00:06:23Later, the fog grew thicker, and my car sickness got worse.

00:06:27My stomach churned badly, and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

00:06:31I lowered my head and searched my bag for motion sickness pills.

00:06:34Only then did I remember that when I separated the medicine that morning,

00:06:38I had put that box alone into the front storage compartment.

00:06:43Preston, can we stop at the next rest stop?

00:06:44I need to buy some medicine.

00:06:45He answered.

00:06:47But the music in the car was too loud.

00:06:49Blair was excitedly showing him the photos she had just taken.

00:06:52Look at this one.

00:06:53It's so cinematic.

00:06:55If we cut this trip right, it's definitely going viral.

00:06:59Not bad, Director Blair.

00:07:02The two of them laughed.

00:07:03I leaned against the back seat, closed my eyes, and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

00:07:08In that moment, I suddenly remembered many things from before.

00:07:12During sophomore year, Preston held a photography exhibition.

00:07:15To help him set it up, I ran to print shops for three days straight until my voice went hoarse.

00:07:21After the exhibition ended, Blair stood before the wall of works,

00:07:25discussing creative ideas with the professor.

00:07:28The professor praised the two of them for working well together.

00:07:32We really do make a good pair.

00:07:34I stood in the corner, holding the empty cardboard boxes we had taken down.

00:07:38He did not look back at me.

00:07:41I also remembered that summer in junior year.

00:07:44Preston said he wanted to go to a remote area for field photography.

00:07:49Afraid he was not prepared enough,

00:07:50I spent half a month researching, buying medicine for him, and helping rent equipment.

00:07:54But on departure day, he suddenly told me there was no room in the car and said I should not

00:07:59go.

00:08:00I stood downstairs from the dorm with my luggage for a long time, unmoving.

00:08:05Later, I saw Blair post on Instagram.

00:08:07The best partner is always on the road.

00:08:09In the photo, she sat in the passenger seat, and Preston had one hand on the steering wheel.

00:08:14Sunlight fell across the side of his face.

00:08:17He looked beautiful and very unfamiliar.

00:08:20There was also the photography club gathering.

00:08:22Someone asked Preston,

00:08:24Why didn't your girlfriend come?

00:08:26She doesn't really know how to have fun.

00:08:28Even if she came, she couldn't join the conversation.

00:08:30That day, I happened to be standing outside the private room,

00:08:33holding the hangover drink I had bought for him.

00:08:36I did not go in.

00:08:37I lied and said something had come up.

00:08:39He did not ask further.

00:08:40Taken one by one, none of these things seemed major.

00:08:43But stacked together, they had been pressing on my heart,

00:08:47making it hard for me to breathe for a very long time.

00:08:53The car finally pulled into a rest stop.

00:08:56I pushed open the door and got out.

00:08:58My leg's a little weak.

00:09:02Hurry up, we still have to make sunset.

00:09:05I'll buy some medicine.

00:09:06It'll be quick.

00:09:08There were many people inside the rest stop.

00:09:10The convenience store was at the very back.

00:09:13I waited in line to buy medicine and got a cup of hot water.

00:09:16When I came out, the sky had darkened a little.

00:09:19I carried the medicine and hot water to the parking area.

00:09:21The spot where the car had been parked was empty.

00:09:24I froze.

00:09:25Thinking I had remembered the wrong place,

00:09:27I searched farther ahead.

00:09:29Row after row of cars, none of them,

00:09:31was that white forerunner.

00:09:33I stood there as my hands slowly went cold.

00:09:43That was when the phone rang.

00:09:49Shamina, where did you go?

00:09:52I'm at the rest stop.

00:09:53I went to buy medicine.

00:09:54Preston.

00:09:55Why didn't you get in the car?

00:09:57I didn't get in the car, you didn't know?

00:09:59I thought she was sleeping in the back.

00:10:01Preston, we've already driven more than 20 miles.

00:10:03If we go back, we'll miss sunset.

00:10:05Samia, don't make this bigger than it is.

00:10:07We're on the highway now, turning around is a hassle.

00:10:11See if you can get a car and go to the next exit first.

00:10:23Preston, are you sure you're not coming back to get me?

00:10:27Can you not frame it like that?

00:10:28It's not like we did it on purpose.

00:10:29You're an adult.

00:10:30Can't you figure out how to get here yourself?

00:10:32You've spoiled her.

00:10:33She's always like this.

00:10:34One little thing happens,

00:10:35and she needs everyone to revolve around her.

00:10:37I laughed softly, too.

00:10:38So in their eyes, leaving me at a rest stop was nothing.

00:10:41So the sunset they wanted to see mattered more than me standing here alone.

00:10:45I lowered my head and looked at the hot water in my hand.

00:10:48The paper cup burned my palm red, but my heart was cold.

00:10:52Okay.

00:10:53Send me your location once you get a ride.

00:10:55Don't wander around.

00:10:56And don't cry.

00:10:57Don't make it ugly when we're supposed to be having fun.

00:10:59I did not answer.

00:11:00I hung up directly.

00:11:02The wind blew over, and my tears fell all at once.

00:11:05Not the kind of loud sobbing.

00:11:06Just tears falling non-stop into the paper cup, without a sound.

00:11:10I remembered that before departure, mom had asked me,

00:11:14Are you really going that far with them?

00:11:16Every time you come back from a trip with them, you look exhausted.

00:11:21It's a graduation trip.

00:11:23This might be the last time.

00:11:25Only now did I understand.

00:11:27The last time really was the last time.

00:11:30I opened the booking app and bought a plane ticket to a seaside town in California.

00:11:34It had the old street I had canceled before.

00:11:37It had the ocean I wanted to see.

00:11:38It had the clam chowder I wanted to eat.

00:11:40And there was a content studio there where I had secretly applied before.

00:11:43They had sent me a second round interview invitation last week.

00:11:46Preston, look.

00:11:47I had not replied because Preston had said,

00:11:50I don't feel comfortable with you going out of town alone.

00:11:52Come back to Austin with me instead.

00:11:54I'll ask a friend to arrange a marketing job for you.

00:11:57At the time, I did not refuse.

00:11:59Not because I truly wanted to go.

00:12:00Only because I was already used to walking the road he arranged for me.

00:12:03But now, I suddenly did not want that anymore.

00:12:06I opened all the orders.

00:12:07The Airbnbs for the next six days.

00:12:09The campsites.

00:12:10The rental car.

00:12:11And the booked photo shoot.

00:12:12I canceled all of them.

00:12:13I was the one who booked them in the first place.

00:12:15I was the one who paid the deposits.

00:12:17I had no reason to keep preserving a trip that never included me.

00:12:21Then I opened iMessage and removed Preston from my pinned chats.

00:12:24Finally, I sent Mom a message.

00:12:26Mom, I'm not going to Utah.

00:12:28I want to go to the beach.

00:12:29Go.

00:12:30Take care of yourself first this time.

00:12:32Looking at those two lines, my tears fell again.

00:12:35The sky was completely dark.

00:12:37Dragging my suitcase, I walked toward the airport shuttle behind me.

00:12:42Where are you headed, young lady?

00:12:43Somewhere I can be as free as the wind.

00:12:45The highway stayed lit.

00:12:47But this time, I did not chase after it.

00:12:49Sounds wild.

00:12:51Let's go.

00:12:52I won't.

00:13:04On the day of our graduation trip, my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest

00:13:10stop.

00:13:11They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

00:13:15When Preston Whitaker called me, there was no urgency in his voice.

00:13:19Only irritation.

00:13:23Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

00:13:26Stop making this a thing.

00:13:27We still have to make it for sunset.

00:13:28We can't turn around.

00:13:30Call yourself an Uber and come over.

00:13:31On the other end, Blair Hayes' voice was clear, too.

00:13:34She's not a child.

00:13:35Do you really have to manage everything for her?

00:13:38If it had been before, I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

00:13:42Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

00:13:45But this time, standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky, I suddenly did not want

00:13:51to chase anymore.

00:13:52I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

00:13:56I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

00:14:01The one they always said was, too boring.

00:14:03In that moment, I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

00:14:08This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

00:14:12For four years of college, I had gone with him to many places.

00:14:16National parks, canyons, deserts, and many remote highways.

00:14:19All routes he liked, before graduation.

00:14:23I brought it up to him once.

00:14:24Preston, let's go to the beach.

00:14:27Find a quieter little town, sleep in a bit, eat seafood, feel the ocean breeze, and not rush anywhere.

00:14:33Okay, the graduation trip is up to you.

00:14:36I was happy for a long time.

00:14:38I made three versions of the itinerary.

00:14:40The hotel was next to the old street, with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at

00:14:45night.

00:14:45I even secretly bought a white dress, wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

00:14:50But one week before departure, Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

00:15:01Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

00:15:03You can go to the beach anytime.

00:15:04Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

00:15:07This route looks good.

00:15:08But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

00:15:36That's enough.

00:15:37Preston did not speak up for me.

00:15:39That's enough.

00:15:39He only messaged me privately.

00:15:41Don't kill everyone's mood.

00:15:43Blair isn't wrong.

00:15:44I'll take you to the beach some other time.

00:15:45Some other time.

00:15:46He always pushed so many things into some other time.

00:15:49But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

00:15:52I stared at that message, my heart aching, and finally replied with only one word.

00:15:56Okay, so I cancelled all the seaside hotel reservations.

00:15:59I researched the national park route again, booked the car, booked Airbnbs, checked elevation,

00:16:06checked weather, made the budget, and bought travel insurance.

00:16:09Blair sent a line in the group.

00:16:11Camina is still reliable with planning.

00:16:13She added a clapping emoji after it.

00:16:15Looking at that sentence, I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

00:16:20On departure day, Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

00:16:24Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

00:16:27She wore sunglasses, held an iced latte, and still had one leg outside the car.

00:16:31When she saw me dragging my suitcase out, she lifted her chin.

00:16:36Camina, sit in the back.

00:16:38I get a little carsick.

00:16:40The front is more comfortable.

00:16:41I get carsick too.

00:16:42Preston knew that.

00:16:43I had just opened my mouth when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

00:16:47Just put up with it for now.

00:16:48Blair was editing until 3 last night.

00:16:50She's not doing great.

00:16:51There's more room in the back.

00:16:52You can sleep for a while.

00:16:53I watched him do all of that so naturally and suddenly remembered the long trip during freshman year.

00:16:58Back then, I got carsick too, badly.

00:17:01Pull over for a second.

00:17:03He gave me the passenger seat, sat in the back himself,

00:17:06and kept handing me water and tissues.

00:17:09Back then, he said,

00:17:10So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

00:17:12I want to spoil her.

00:17:13Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk and turned to Blair.

00:17:17Buckle up.

00:17:18Let's go.

00:17:19Standing beside the car, I smiled a little.

00:17:22Get in already.

00:17:24We're leaving.

00:17:26Only then did I realize he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

00:17:30They chatted excitedly the whole way they talked about shooting angles, drone routes,

00:17:34and which stretch of highway was best for sunset.

00:17:37Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film, the title could be Before Graduation.

00:17:42We fled into the wild.

00:17:44I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

00:17:47Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

00:17:49What time to leave.

00:17:51What time to arrive.

00:17:52Where we could get gas.

00:17:53Where we could eat.

00:17:54Which stretches had no signal.

00:17:56Which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water.

00:18:00Several times, I tried to join in.

00:18:02The view up ahead is nice.

00:18:04The Airbnb host for tonight said,

00:18:07The road up the mountain is narrow.

00:18:09We'd better arrive before dark.

00:18:12No one answered.

00:18:14At lunch at a rest stop, I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

00:18:19This place has bad reviews.

00:18:20A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

00:18:22Let's go to the one next door.

00:18:23Blair glanced at the sign.

00:18:24I want this Tex-Mec place.

00:18:25A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

00:18:27Sure, your call.

00:18:29But your stomach is already sensitive.

00:18:32Samana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

00:18:34It's just one meal.

00:18:35It's not that serious.

00:18:37In the end, they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

00:18:40Preston ate happily.

00:18:42Less than half an hour after eating.

00:18:46His stomach hurt so badly, his face turned pale.

00:18:49I dug stomach medicine out of my bag, poured water, and handed it to him.

00:18:53Samana, you really are like his mom.

00:18:57She's always been like that.

00:18:59Used to managing me.

00:19:00My hand froze in mid-air.

00:19:02I was clearly caring about him.

00:19:04But from their mouths, it sounded like some boring joke.

00:19:07In the afternoon, we kept driving.

00:19:08The weather turned worse, and fog rose near the mountains.

00:19:12Don't drive too fast.

00:19:13There are a series of curves ahead.

00:19:15Samana, if you're scared, close your eyes and rest.

00:19:17Don't distract him.

00:19:21You heard her.

00:19:22Close your eyes.

00:19:23I gripped the seat belt and said nothing more.

00:19:25Later, the fog grew thicker, and my car sickness got worse.

00:19:29My stomach churned badly, and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

00:19:33I lowered my head and searched my bag for motion sickness pills.

00:19:37Only then did I remember that when I separated the medicine that morning,

00:19:40I had put that box alone into the front storage compartment.

00:19:45Preston, can we stop at the next rest stop?

00:19:47I need to buy some medicine.

00:19:48He answered.

00:19:49But the music in the car was too loud.

00:19:51Blair was excitedly showing him the photos she had just taken.

00:19:55Look at this one.

00:19:55It's so cinematic.

00:19:57If we cut this trip right, it's definitely going viral.

00:20:01Not bad, Director Blair.

00:20:04The two of them laughed.

00:20:05I leaned against the back seat, closed my eyes, and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

00:20:10In that moment, I suddenly remembered many things from before.

00:20:14During sophomore year, Preston held a photography exhibition.

00:20:17To help him set it up, I ran to print shops for three days straight until my voice went hoarse.

00:20:23After the exhibition ended, Blair stood before the wall of works,

00:20:27discussing creative ideas with the professor.

00:20:29The professor praised the two of them for working well together.

00:20:34We really do make a good pair.

00:20:36I stood in the corner, holding the empty cardboard boxes we had taken down.

00:20:40He did not look back at me.

00:20:43I also remembered that summer in junior year.

00:20:46Preston said he wanted to go to a remote area for field photography.

00:20:51Afraid he was not prepared enough, I spent half a month researching,

00:20:54buying medicine for him, and helping rent equipment.

00:20:57But on departure day, he suddenly told me there was no room in the car and said I should not

00:21:01go.

00:21:02I stood downstairs from the dorm with my luggage for a long time, unmoving.

00:21:07Later, I saw Blair post on Instagram.

00:21:09The best partner is always on the road.

00:21:11In the photo, she sat in the passenger seat, and Preston had one hand on the steering wheel.

00:21:16Sunlight fell across the side of his face.

00:21:19He looked beautiful and very unfamiliar.

00:21:22There was also the photography club gathering.

00:21:24Someone asked Preston,

00:21:26Why didn't your girlfriend come?

00:21:28She doesn't really know how to have fun.

00:21:30Even if she came, she couldn't join the conversation.

00:21:33That day, I happened to be standing outside the private room,

00:21:36holding the hangover drink I had bought for him.

00:21:38I did not go in.

00:21:39I lied and said something had come up.

00:21:41He did not ask further.

00:21:43Taken one by one, none of these things seemed major, but stacked together.

00:21:47They had been pressing on my heart, making it hard for me to breathe for a very long time.

00:21:55The car finally pulled into a rest stop.

00:21:58I pushed open the door and got out.

00:22:00My leg's a little weak.

00:22:04Hurry up.

00:22:05We still have to make sunset.

00:22:07I'll buy some medicine.

00:22:09It'll be quick.

00:22:10There were many people inside the rest stop.

00:22:12The convenience store was at the very back.

00:22:15I waited in line to buy medicine and got a cup of hot water.

00:22:18When I came out, the sky had darkened a little.

00:22:21I carried the medicine and hot water to the parking area.

00:22:24The spot where the car had been parked was empty.

00:22:26I froze.

00:22:27Thinking I had remembered the wrong place, I searched farther ahead.

00:22:31Row after row of cars, none of them, was that white four-runner.

00:22:35I stood there as my hands slowly went cold.

00:22:45That was when the phone rang.

00:22:51Shamina, where did you go?

00:22:54I'm at the rest stop.

00:22:55I went to buy medicine.

00:22:57Why didn't you get in the car?

00:22:59I didn't get in the car.

00:23:00You didn't know?

00:23:01I thought she was sleeping in the back.

00:23:03Preston, we've already driven more than 20 miles.

00:23:05If we go back, we'll miss sunset.

00:23:07Samia, don't make this bigger than it is.

00:23:09We're on the highway now, turning around as a hassle.

00:23:13See if you can get a car and go to the next exit first.

00:23:16I stood in a strange rest stop surrounded by strangers.

00:23:19A big truck drove past beside me, and the wind hit my face directly.

00:23:25Preston, are you sure you're not coming back to get me?

00:23:29Can you not frame it like that?

00:23:30It's not like we did it on purpose.

00:23:31You're an adult.

00:23:32Can't you figure out how to get here yourself?

00:23:34You've spoiled her.

00:23:35She's always like this.

00:23:36One little thing happens, and she needs everyone to revolve around her.

00:23:39I laughed softly too, so in their eyes leaving me at a rest stop was nothing.

00:23:44So the sunset they wanted to see mattered more than me standing here alone.

00:23:47I lowered my head and looked at the hot water in my hand.

00:23:50The paper cup burned my palm red, but my heart was cold.

00:23:54Okay.

00:23:55Send me your location once you get a ride.

00:23:57Don't wander around.

00:23:58And don't cry.

00:23:59Don't make it ugly when we're supposed to be having fun.

00:24:01I did not answer.

00:24:03I hung up directly.

00:24:04The wind blew over, and my tears fell all at once.

00:24:07Not the kind of loud sobbing.

00:24:09Just tears falling nonstop into the paper cup without a sound.

00:24:12I remembered that before departure, mom had asked me,

00:24:16Are you really going that far with them?

00:24:18Every time you come back from a trip with them, you look exhausted.

00:24:23It's a graduation trip.

00:24:25This might be the last time.

00:24:27Only now did I understand.

00:24:29The last time really was the last time.

00:24:32I opened the booking app and bought a plane ticket to a seaside town in California.

00:24:37It had the old street I had cancelled before.

00:24:39It had the ocean I wanted to see.

00:24:40It had the clam chowder I wanted to eat.

00:24:42And there was a content studio there where I had secretly applied before.

00:24:45They had sent me a second round interview invitation last week.

00:24:48Preston, look.

00:24:49I had not replied because Preston had said,

00:24:52I don't feel comfortable with you going out of town alone.

00:24:54Come back to Austin with me instead.

00:24:56I'll ask a friend to arrange a marketing job for you.

00:24:59At the time, I did not refuse.

00:25:01Not because I truly wanted to go.

00:25:02Only because I was already used to walking the road he arranged for me.

00:25:06But now, I suddenly did not want that anymore.

00:25:08I opened all the orders.

00:25:09The Airbnbs for the next six days.

00:25:11The campsites.

00:25:12The rental car.

00:25:13And the booked photo shoot.

00:25:14I cancelled all of them.

00:25:15I was the one who booked them in the first place.

00:25:17I was the one who paid the deposits.

00:25:19I had no reason to keep preserving a trip that never included me.

00:25:23Then I opened iMessage and removed Preston from my pinned chats.

00:25:26Finally, I sent mom a message.

00:25:28Mom, I'm not going to Utah.

00:25:30I want to go to the beach.

00:25:32Go.

00:25:32Take care of yourself first this time.

00:25:34Looking at those two lines, my tears fell again.

00:25:37The sky was completely dark.

00:25:39Dragging my suitcase, I walked toward the airport shuttle behind me.

00:25:44Where are you headed, young lady?

00:25:46Somewhere I can be as free as the wind.

00:25:47The highway stayed lit.

00:25:49But this time, I did not chase after it.

00:25:52Sounds wild.

00:25:53Let's go.

00:25:54I'm done.

00:26:07On the day of our graduation trip, my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest

00:26:12stop.

00:26:13They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

00:26:18When Preston Whitaker called me, there was no urgency in his voice, only irritation.

00:26:25Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

00:26:28Stop making this a thing.

00:26:29We still have to make it for sunset.

00:26:30We can't turn around.

00:26:32Call yourself an Uber and come over.

00:26:34On the other end, Blair Hayes' voice was clear too.

00:26:36She's not a child.

00:26:38Do you really have to manage everything for her?

00:26:40If it had been before, I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

00:26:44Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

00:26:48But this time, standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky.

00:26:52I suddenly did not want to chase anymore.

00:26:55I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

00:26:58I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

00:27:03The one they always said was, too boring.

00:27:05In that moment, I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

00:27:10This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

00:27:14For four years of college, I had gone with him to many places.

00:27:18National parks, canyons, deserts, and many remote highways.

00:27:22All routes he liked before graduation.

00:27:25I brought it up to him once.

00:27:26Preston, let's go to the beach.

00:27:29Find a quieter little town, sleep in a bit, eat seafood, feel the ocean breeze, and not rush anywhere.

00:27:35Okay. The graduation trip is up to you.

00:27:38I was happy for a long time.

00:27:40I made three versions of the itinerary.

00:27:42The hotel was next to the old street, with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at

00:27:47night.

00:27:47I even secretly bought a white dress, wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

00:27:52But one week before departure, Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

00:28:03Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

00:28:05You can go to the beach anytime.

00:28:06Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

00:28:09This route looks good.

00:28:10But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

00:28:14Hamina, you don't seriously want to turn graduation trip into retirement life, do you?

00:28:18We're only in our early 20s.

00:28:20Don't live like you're already that dull.

00:28:24The others in the group sent laughing emojis too.

00:28:27Somebody said it was only worth it if we went to national parks and shot epic photos.

00:28:31Someone said the beach was too ordinary.

00:28:34Someone else said a pairing like Preston and Blair would be wasted if they didn't shoot a road movie.

00:28:39Preston did not speak up for me.

00:28:41That's enough.

00:28:41He only messaged me privately.

00:28:43Don't kill everyone's mood.

00:28:45Blair isn't wrong.

00:28:46I'll take you to the beach some other time.

00:28:47Some other time.

00:28:48He always pushed so many things into some other time.

00:28:51But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

00:28:54I stared at that message, my heart aching, and finally replied with only one word.

00:28:59Okay, so I canceled all the seaside hotel reservations.

00:29:02I researched the national park route again, booked the car, booked Airbnbs, checked elevation,

00:29:08checked weather, made the budget, and bought travel insurance.

00:29:11Blair sent a line in the group.

00:29:13Hamina is still reliable with planning.

00:29:15She added a clapping emoji after it.

00:29:17Looking at that sentence, I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

00:29:23On departure day, Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

00:29:26Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

00:29:29She wore sunglasses, held an iced latte, and still had one leg outside the car.

00:29:34When she saw me dragging my suitcase out, she lifted her chin.

00:29:38Hamina, sit in the back.

00:29:41I get a little carsick.

00:29:42The front is more comfortable.

00:29:43I get carsick too.

00:29:44Preston knew that.

00:29:45I had just opened my mouth when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

00:29:49Just put up with it for now.

00:29:50Blair was editing until 3 last night.

00:29:52She's not doing great.

00:29:53There's more room in the back.

00:29:54You can sleep for a while.

00:29:55I watched him do all of that so naturally and suddenly remembered the long trip during

00:29:59freshman year.

00:30:00Back then, I got carsick too, badly.

00:30:03Pull over for a second.

00:30:05He gave me the passenger seat, sat in the back himself, and kept handing me water and tissues.

00:30:11Back then, he said,

00:30:12So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

00:30:14I want to spoil her.

00:30:16Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk and turned to Blair.

00:30:19Buckle up.

00:30:20Let's go.

00:30:21Standing beside the car, I smiled a little.

00:30:24Get in already.

00:30:26We're leaving.

00:30:28Only then did I realize he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

00:30:32They chatted excitedly the whole way they talked about shooting angles, drone routes,

00:30:37and which stretch of highway was best for sunset.

00:30:40Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film, the title could be Before

00:30:44Graduation.

00:30:45We fled into the wild.

00:30:46I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

00:30:49Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

00:30:52What time to leave?

00:30:53What time to arrive?

00:30:54Where we could get gas?

00:30:55Where we could eat?

00:30:56Which stretches had no signal?

00:30:58Which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water?

00:31:02Several times, I tried to join in.

00:31:04The view up ahead is nice.

00:31:07The Airbnb host for tonight said,

00:31:09The road up the mountain is narrow.

00:31:11We'd better arrive before dark.

00:31:14No one answered.

00:31:16At lunch at a rest stop, I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

00:31:21This place has bad reviews.

00:31:22A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

00:31:24Let's go to the one next door.

00:31:25Blair glanced at the sign.

00:31:26I want this Tex-Mec place.

00:31:27A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

00:31:30Sure.

00:31:30Your call.

00:31:31But your stomach is already sensitive.

00:31:34Simana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

00:31:36It's just one meal.

00:31:38It's not that serious.

00:31:39In the end, they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

00:31:42Preston ate happily.

00:31:44Less than half an hour after eating.

00:31:46I vanished.

00:31:46Our selfie is?

00:31:47Yeah.

00:31:48His stomach hurt so badly, his face turned pale.

00:31:51You okay?

00:31:51I dug stomach medicine out of my bag, poured water, and handed it to him.

00:31:55Simana, you really are like his mom.

00:31:59She's always been like that.

00:32:01Used to managing me.

00:32:02My hand froze in midair.

00:32:04I was clearly caring about him.

00:32:06But from their mouths, it sounded like some boring joke.

00:32:09In the afternoon, we kept driving.

00:32:10The weather turned worse, and fog rose near the mountains.

00:32:14Don't drive too fast.

00:32:15There are a series of curves ahead.

00:32:17Simana, if you're scared, close your eyes and rest.

00:32:19Don't distract him.

00:32:23You heard her.

00:32:24Close your eyes.

00:32:25I gripped the seat belt and said nothing more.

00:32:27Later, the fog grew thicker, and my car sickness got worse.

00:32:31My stomach churned badly, and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

00:32:35I lowered my head and searched my bag for motion sickness pills.

00:32:39Only then did I remember that when I separated the medicine that morning,

00:32:42I had put that box alone into the front storage compartment.

00:32:47Preston, can we stop at the next rest stop?

00:32:49I need to buy some medicine.

00:32:50He answered.

00:32:51But the music in the car was too loud.

00:32:54Blair was excitedly showing him the photos she had just taken.

00:32:57Look at this one.

00:32:58It's so cinematic.

00:32:59If we cut this trip right, it's definitely going viral.

00:33:03Not bad, director Blair.

00:33:06The two of them laughed.

00:33:07I leaned against the back seat, closed my eyes, and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

00:33:12In that moment, I suddenly remembered many things from before.

00:33:16During sophomore year, Preston held a photography exhibition.

00:33:20To help him set it up, I ran to print shops for three days straight until my voice went hoarse.

00:33:25After the exhibition ended, Blair stood before the wall of works, discussing creative ideas with the professor.

00:33:32The professor praised the two of them for working well together.

00:33:36We really do make a good pair.

00:33:39I stood in the corner, holding the empty cardboard boxes we had taken down.

00:33:43He did not look back at me.

00:33:45I also remembered that summer in junior year.

00:33:48Preston said he wanted to go to a remote area for field photography.

00:33:53Afraid he was not prepared enough, I spent half a month researching, buying medicine for him, and helping rent equipment.

00:33:59But on departure day, he suddenly told me there was no room in the car and said I should not

00:34:04go.

00:34:04I stood downstairs from the dorm with my luggage for a long time, unmoving.

00:34:09Later, I saw Blair post on Instagram.

00:34:11The best partner is always on the road.

00:34:14In the photo, she sat in the passenger seat, and Preston had one hand on the steering wheel.

00:34:18Sunlight fell across the side of his face.

00:34:21He looked beautiful and very unfamiliar.

00:34:24There was also the photography club gathering.

00:34:27Someone asked Preston.

00:34:28Why didn't your girlfriend come?

00:34:30She doesn't really know how to have fun.

00:34:32Even if she came, she couldn't join the conversation.

00:34:35That day, I happened to be standing outside the private room, holding the hangover drink I had bought for him.

00:34:40I did not go in.

00:34:41I lied and said something had come up.

00:34:43He did not ask further.

00:34:45Taken one by one, none of these things seemed major, but stacked together.

00:34:49They had been pressing on my heart, making it hard for me to breathe for a very long time.

00:34:57The car finally pulled into a rest stop.

00:35:00I pushed open the door and got out.

00:35:02My leg's a little weak.

00:35:06Hurry up, we still have to make sunset.

00:35:09I'll buy some medicine.

00:35:11It'll be quick.

00:35:12There were many people inside the rest stop.

00:35:15The convenience store was at the very back.

00:35:17I waited in line to buy medicine and got a cup of hot water.

00:35:20When I came out, the sky had darkened a little.

00:35:23I carried the medicine and hot water to the parking area.

00:35:26The spot where the car had been parked was empty.

00:35:28I froze.

00:35:29Thinking I had remembered the wrong place, I searched farther ahead.

00:35:33Row after row of cars, none of them, was that white forerunning.

00:35:37I stood there as my hands slowly went cold.

00:35:47That was when the phone rang.

00:35:53Shamina, where did you go?

00:35:56I'm at the rest stop.

00:35:57I went to buy medicine.

00:35:59Why didn't you get in the car?

00:36:01I didn't get in the car.

00:36:02You didn't know?

00:36:03I thought she was sleeping in the back.

00:36:05Preston, we've already driven more than 20 miles.

00:36:07If we go back, we'll miss sunset.

00:36:09Samia, don't make this bigger than it is.

00:36:11We're on the highway now.

00:36:12Turning around is a hassle.

00:36:15See if you can get a car and go to the next exit first.

00:36:18I stood in a strange rest stop surrounded by strangers.

00:36:21A big truck drove past beside me, and the wind hit my face directly.

00:36:27Preston, are you sure you're not coming back to get me?

00:36:31Can you not frame it like that?

00:36:32It's not like we did it on purpose.

00:36:34You're an adult.

00:36:34Can't you figure out how to get here yourself?

00:36:36You've spoiled her.

00:36:37She's always like this.

00:36:39One little thing happens, and she needs everyone to revolve around her.

00:36:41I laughed softly too, so in their eyes, leaving me at a rest stop was nothing.

00:36:46So the sunset they wanted to see mattered more than me standing here alone.

00:36:50I lowered my head and looked at the hot water in my hand.

00:36:52The paper cup burned my palm red, but my heart was cold.

00:36:56Okay.

00:36:57Send me your location once you get a ride.

00:36:59Don't wander around, and don't cry.

00:37:01Don't make it ugly when we're supposed to be having fun.

00:37:03I did not answer.

00:37:05I hung up directly.

00:37:06The wind blew over, and my tears fell all at once.

00:37:09Not the kind of loud sobbing.

00:37:11Just tears falling non-stop into the paper cup, without a sound.

00:37:14I remembered that before departure, mom had asked me,

00:37:18Are you really going that far with them?

00:37:21Every time you come back from a trip with them, you look exhausted.

00:37:26It's a graduation trip.

00:37:27This might be the last time.

00:37:29Only now did I understand.

00:37:31The last time really was the last time.

00:37:35I opened the booking app and bought a plane ticket to a seaside town in California.

00:37:39It had the old street I had cancelled before.

00:37:41It had the ocean I wanted to see.

00:37:43It had the clam chowder I wanted to eat.

00:37:44And there was a content studio there where I had secretly applied before.

00:37:48They had sent me a second round interview invitation last week.

00:37:50Preston, look.

00:37:51I had not replied because Preston had said,

00:37:54I don't feel comfortable with you going out of town alone.

00:37:56Come back to Austin with me instead.

00:37:58I'll ask a friend to arrange a marketing job for you.

00:38:01At the time, I did not refuse.

00:38:03Not because I truly wanted to go.

00:38:05Only because I was already used to walking the road he arranged for me.

00:38:08But now, I suddenly did not want that anymore.

00:38:10I opened all the orders.

00:38:11The Airbnbs for the next six days.

00:38:13The campsites.

00:38:14The rental car.

00:38:15And the booked photo shoot.

00:38:16I cancelled all of them.

00:38:17I was the one who booked them in the first place.

00:38:19I was the one who paid the deposits.

00:38:21I had no reason to keep preserving a trip that never included me.

00:38:25Then I opened iMessage and removed Preston from my pinned chats.

00:38:28Finally, I sent mom a message.

00:38:30Mom, I'm not going to Utah.

00:38:32I want to go to the beach.

00:38:34Go.

00:38:34Take care of yourself first this time.

00:38:36Looking at those two lines, my tears fell again.

00:38:39The sky was completely dark.

00:38:41Dragging my suitcase, I walked toward the airport shuttle behind me.

00:38:46Where are you headed, young lady?

00:38:48Somewhere I can be as free as the wind.

00:38:50The highway stayed lit.

00:38:51But this time, I did not chase after it.

00:38:54Sounds wild.

00:38:55Let's go.

00:38:55I'm a snake.

00:38:57I'm wild.

00:39:09On the day of our graduation trip, my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest

00:39:15stop.

00:39:15They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

00:39:20When Preston Whitaker called me, there was no urgency in his voice.

00:39:24Only irritation.

00:39:27Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

00:39:30Stop making this a thing.

00:39:31We still have to make it for sunset.

00:39:32We can't turn around.

00:39:34Call yourself an Uber and come over.

00:39:36On the other end, Blair Hayes' voice was clear, too.

00:39:39She's not a child.

00:39:40Do you really have to manage everything for her?

00:39:42If it had been before, I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

00:39:46Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

00:39:50But this time, standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky.

00:39:54I suddenly did not want to chase anymore.

00:39:57I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

00:40:00I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

00:40:05The one they always said was, too boring.

00:40:08In that moment, I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

00:40:12This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

00:40:16For four years of college, I had gone with him to many places.

00:40:20National parks, canyons, deserts, and many remote highways.

00:40:24All routes he liked before graduation.

00:40:27I brought it up to him once.

00:40:28Preston, let's go to the beach.

00:40:31Find a quieter little town, sleep in a bit, eat seafood, feel the ocean breeze, and not rush anywhere.

00:40:37Okay.

00:40:38The graduation trip is up to you.

00:40:40I was happy for a long time.

00:40:42I made three versions of the itinerary.

00:40:44The hotel was next to the old street, with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at

00:40:49night.

00:40:50I even secretly bought a white dress, wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

00:40:55But one week before departure, Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

00:41:05Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

00:41:07You can go to the beach anytime.

00:41:09Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

00:41:11This route looks good.

00:41:12But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

00:41:16Hamina, you don't seriously want to turn graduation trip into retirement life, do you?

00:41:20We're only in our early 20s.

00:41:22Don't live like you're already that dull.

00:41:26The others in the group sent laughing emojis too.

00:41:29Somebody said it was only worth it if we went to national parks and shot epic photos.

00:41:33Someone said the beach was too ordinary.

00:41:36Someone else said a pairing like Preston and Blair would be wasted if they didn't shoot a road movie.

00:41:41Preston did not speak up for me.

00:41:43That's enough.

00:41:43He only messaged me privately.

00:41:45Don't kill everyone's mood.

00:41:47Blair isn't wrong.

00:41:48I'll take you to the beach some other time.

00:41:49Some other time.

00:41:50He always pushed so many things into some other time.

00:41:53But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

00:41:56I stared at that message, my heart aching, and finally replied with only one word.

00:42:01Okay, so I canceled all the seaside hotel reservations.

00:42:04I researched the national park route again, booked the car, booked Airbnbs, checked elevation,

00:42:10checked weather, made the budget, and bought travel insurance.

00:42:14Blair sent a line in the group.

00:42:15Hamina is still reliable with planning.

00:42:18She added a clapping emoji after it.

00:42:20Looking at that sentence, I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

00:42:24On departure day, Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

00:42:28Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

00:42:31She wore sunglasses, held an iced latte, and still had one leg outside the car.

00:42:36When she saw me dragging my suitcase out, she lifted her chin.

00:42:40Hamina, sit in the back.

00:42:43I get a little carsick.

00:42:44The front is more comfortable.

00:42:45I get carsick too.

00:42:46Preston knew that.

00:42:47I had just opened my mouth when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

00:42:51Just put up with it for now.

00:42:52Blair was editing until 3 last night.

00:42:54She's not doing great.

00:42:55There's more room in the back.

00:42:56You can sleep for a while.

00:42:57I watched him do all of that so naturally and suddenly remembered the long trip during

00:43:02freshman year.

00:43:03Back then, I got carsick too, badly.

00:43:05Pull over for a second.

00:43:07He gave me the passenger seat, sat in the back himself, and kept handing me water and tissues.

00:43:13Back then, he said,

00:43:14So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

00:43:16I want to spoil her.

00:43:18Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk and turned to Blair.

00:43:22Buckle up.

00:43:22Let's go.

00:43:23Standing beside the car, I smiled a little.

00:43:27Get in already.

00:43:28We're leaving.

00:43:30Only then did I realize he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

00:43:35They chatted excitedly the whole way they talked about shooting angles, drone routes,

00:43:39and which stretch of highway was best for sunset.

00:43:42Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film, the title could be Before

00:43:46Graduation.

00:43:46We fled into the wild.

00:43:48I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

00:43:51Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

00:43:54What time to leave.

00:43:55What time to arrive.

00:43:56Where we could get gas.

00:43:58Where we could eat.

00:43:58Which stretches had no signal.

00:44:00Which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water.

00:44:04Several times, I tried to join in.

00:44:06The view up ahead is nice.

00:44:09The Airbnb host for tonight said, the road up the mountain is narrow.

00:44:13We'd better arrive before dark.

00:44:16No one answered.

00:44:18At lunch at a rest stop, I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

00:44:23This place has bad reviews.

00:44:24A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

00:44:26Let's go to the one next door.

00:44:27Blair glanced at the sign.

00:44:28I want this Tex-Mex place.

00:44:30A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

00:44:31Sure.

00:44:32Your call.

00:44:34But your stomach is already sensitive.

00:44:36Samana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

00:44:39It's just one meal.

00:44:40It's not that serious.

00:44:41In the end, they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

00:44:45Preston ate happily.

00:44:46Less than half an hour after eating.

00:44:50His stomach hurt so badly, his face turned pale.

00:44:53I dug stomach medicine out of my bag, poured water, and handed it to him.

00:44:57Samana, you really are like his mom.

00:45:02She's always been like that.

00:45:03Used to managing me.

00:45:05My hand froze in mid-air.

00:45:06I was clearly caring about him.

00:45:08But from their mouths, it sounded like some boring joke.

00:45:11In the afternoon, we kept driving.

00:45:13The weather turned worse, and fog rose near the mountains.

00:45:16Don't drive too fast.

00:45:17There are a series of curves ahead.

00:45:19Samana, if you're scared, close your eyes and rest.

00:45:22Don't distract him.

00:45:25You heard her.

00:45:26Close your eyes.

00:45:27I gripped the seat belt and said nothing more.

00:45:29Later, the fog grew thicker, and my car sickness got worse.

00:45:33My stomach churned badly, and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

00:45:37I lowered my head and searched my bag for motion sickness pills.

00:45:41Only then did I remember that when I separated the medicine that morning,

00:45:44I had put that box alone into the front storage compartment.

00:45:49Preston, can we stop at the next rest stop?

00:45:51I need to buy some medicine.

00:45:52He answered.

00:45:53Hmm.

00:45:53But the music in the car was too loud.

00:45:56Blair was excitedly showing him the photos she had just taken.

00:45:59Look at this one.

00:46:00It's so cinematic.

00:46:01If we cut this trip right, it's definitely going viral.

00:46:05Not bad, director Blair.

00:46:08The two of them laughed.

00:46:10I leaned against the back seat, closed my eyes, and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

00:46:15In that moment, I suddenly remembered many things from before.

00:46:18During sophomore year, Preston held a photography exhibition.

00:46:22To help him set it up, I ran to print shops for three days straight until my voice went hoarse.

00:46:28After the exhibition ended, Blair stood before the wall of works,

00:46:31discussing creative ideas with the professor.

00:46:34The professor praised the two of them for working well together.

00:46:38We really do make a good pair.

00:46:40I stood in the corner, holding the empty cardboard boxes we had taken down.

00:46:45He did not look back at me.

00:46:47I also remembered that summer in junior year.

00:46:50Preston said he wanted to go to a remote area for field photography.

00:46:55Afraid he was not prepared enough, I spent half a month researching,

00:46:59buying medicine for him, and helping rent equipment.

00:47:01But on departure day, he suddenly told me there was no room in the car and said I should not

00:47:06go.

00:47:06I stood downstairs from the dorm with my luggage for a long time, unmoving.

00:47:11Later, I saw Blair post on Instagram.

00:47:13The best partner is always on the road.

00:47:15In the photo, she sat in the passenger seat, and Preston had one hand on the steering wheel.

00:47:21Sunlight fell across the side of his face.

00:47:23He looked beautiful and very unfamiliar.

00:47:26There was also the photography club gathering.

00:47:29Someone asked Preston,

00:47:30Why didn't your girlfriend come?

00:47:33She doesn't really know how to have fun.

00:47:34Even if she came, she couldn't join the conversation.

00:47:37That day, I happened to be standing outside the private room, holding the hangover drink I had bought for him.

00:47:42I did not go in.

00:47:44I lied and said something had come up.

00:47:46He did not ask further.

00:47:47Taken one by one, none of these things seemed major, but stacked together.

00:47:52They had been pressing on my heart, making it hard for me to breathe for a very long time.

00:47:59The car finally pulled into a rest stop.

00:48:02I pushed open the door and got out.

00:48:04My leg's a little weak.

00:48:09Hurry up.

00:48:09We still have to make sunset.

00:48:12I'll buy some medicine.

00:48:13It'll be quick.

00:48:14There were many people inside the rest stop.

00:48:17The convenience store was at the very back.

00:48:19I waited in line to buy medicine and got a cup of hot water.

00:48:23When I came out, the sky had darkened a little.

00:48:25I carried the medicine and hot water to the parking area.

00:48:28The spot where the car had been parked was empty.

00:48:30I froze.

00:48:32Thinking I had remembered the wrong place, I searched farther ahead.

00:48:35Row after row of cars, none of them, was that white four-runner.

00:48:39I stood there as my hands slowly went cold.

00:48:49That was when the phone rang.

00:48:56Shamina, where did you go?

00:48:58I'm at the rest stop.

00:48:59I went to buy medicine.

00:49:02Why didn't you get in the car?

00:49:04I didn't get in the car.

00:49:05You didn't know?

00:49:05I thought she was sleeping in the back.

00:49:08Preston, we've already driven more than 20 miles.

00:49:10If we go back, we'll miss sunset.

00:49:11Samia, don't make this bigger than it is.

00:49:13We're on the highway now, turning around is a hassle.

00:49:17See if you can get a car and go to the next exit first.

00:49:20I stood in a strange rest stop surrounded by strangers.

00:49:24A big truck drove past beside me, and the wind hit my face directly.

00:49:29Preston, are you sure you're not coming back to get me?

00:49:33Can you not frame it like that?

00:49:34It's not like we did it on purpose.

00:49:36You're an adult.

00:49:36Can't you figure out how to get here yourself?

00:49:38You've spoiled her.

00:49:39She's always like this.

00:49:41One little thing happens, and she needs everyone to revolve around her.

00:49:44I laughed softly too.

00:49:45So in their eyes, leaving me at a rest stop was nothing.

00:49:48So the sunset they wanted to see mattered more than me standing here alone.

00:49:52I lowered my head and looked at the hot water in my hand.

00:49:55The paper cup burned my palm red, but my heart was cold.

00:49:58Okay.

00:49:59Send me your location once you get a ride.

00:50:01Don't wander around.

00:50:02And don't cry.

00:50:04Don't make it ugly when we're supposed to be having fun.

00:50:06I did not answer.

00:50:07I hung up directly.

00:50:08The wind blew over, and my tears fell all at once.

00:50:11Not the kind of loud sobbing.

00:50:13Just tears falling nonstop into the paper cup, without a sound.

00:50:17I remembered that before departure, Mom had asked me,

00:50:21Are you really going that far with them?

00:50:23Every time you come back from a trip with them, you look exhausted.

00:50:28It's a graduation trip.

00:50:30This might be the last time.

00:50:31Only now did I understand.

00:50:33The last time really was the last time.

00:50:37I opened the booking app and bought a plane ticket to a seaside town in California.

00:50:41It had the old street I had cancelled before.

00:50:43It had the ocean I wanted to see.

00:50:45It had the clam chowder I wanted to eat.

00:50:47And there was a content studio there where I had secretly applied before.

00:50:50They had sent me a second round interview invitation last week.

00:50:53Preston, look.

00:50:53I had not replied because Preston had said,

00:50:56I don't feel comfortable with you going out of town alone.

00:50:59Come back to Austin with me instead.

00:51:01I'll ask a friend to arrange a marketing job for you.

00:51:03At the time, I did not refuse.

00:51:05Not because I truly wanted to go.

00:51:07Only because I was already used to walking the road he arranged for me.

00:51:10But now, I suddenly did not want that anymore.

00:51:12I opened all the orders.

00:51:14The Airbnbs for the next six days.

00:51:16The campsites.

00:51:16The rental car.

00:51:17And the booked photo shoot.

00:51:18I cancelled all of them.

00:51:19I was the one who booked them in the first place.

00:51:22I was the one who paid the deposits.

00:51:24I had no reason to keep preserving a trip that never included me.

00:51:27Then I opened iMessage and removed Preston from my pinned chats.

00:51:30Finally, I sent Mom a message.

00:51:32Mom, I'm not going to Utah.

00:51:34I want to go to the beach.

00:51:36Go.

00:51:36Take care of yourself first this time.

00:51:38Looking at those two lines, my tears fell again.

00:51:41The sky was completely dark.

00:51:43Dragging my suitcase, I walked toward the airport shuttle behind me.

00:51:48Where are you headed, young lady?

00:51:50Somewhere I can be as free as the wind.

00:51:52The highway stayed lit.

00:51:53But this time, I did not chase after it.

00:51:56Sounds wild.

00:51:57Let's go.

00:51:58Let's see.

00:51:59I know.

00:52:11On the day of our graduation trip,

00:52:13my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest stop.

00:52:17They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

00:52:22When Preston Whitaker called me, there was no urgency in his voice.

00:52:26Only irritation.

00:52:29Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

00:52:32Stop making this a thing.

00:52:34We still have to make it for sunset.

00:52:35We can't turn around.

00:52:36Call yourself an Uber and come over.

00:52:38On the other end, Blair Hayes' voice was clear too.

00:52:41She's not a child.

00:52:42Do you really have to manage everything for her?

00:52:44If it had been before, I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

00:52:49Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

00:52:52But this time, standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky,

00:52:57I suddenly did not want to chase anymore.

00:52:59I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

00:53:02I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

00:53:07The one they always said was, too boring.

00:53:10In that moment, I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

00:53:14This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

00:53:19For four years of college, I had gone with him to many places.

00:53:22National parks, canyons, deserts, and many remote highways.

00:53:26All routes he liked.

00:53:28Before graduation, I brought it up to him once.

00:53:31Preston, let's go to the beach.

00:53:33Find a quieter little town, sleep in a bit, eat seafood, feel the ocean breeze, and not rush anywhere.

00:53:39Okay. The graduation trip is up to you.

00:53:42I was happy for a long time.

00:53:44I made three versions of the itinerary.

00:53:46The hotel was next to the old street, with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at

00:53:51night.

00:53:52I even secretly bought a white dress, wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

00:53:57But one week before departure, Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

00:54:07Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

00:54:09You can go to the beach anytime.

00:54:11Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

00:54:13This route looks good.

00:54:15But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

00:54:18Kamina, you don't seriously want to turn graduation trip into retirement life, do you?

00:54:23We're only in our early 20s. Don't live like you're already that dull.

00:54:28The others in the group sent laughing emojis too.

00:54:31Somebody said it was only worth it if we went to national parks and shot epic photos.

00:54:36Someone said the beach was too ordinary.

00:54:38Someone else said a pairing like Preston and Blair would be wasted if they didn't shoot a road movie.

00:54:43Preston did not speak up for me.

00:54:45That's enough.

00:54:45He only messaged me privately.

00:54:47Don't kill everyone's mood.

00:54:49Blair isn't wrong. I'll take you to the beach some other time.

00:54:51Some other time.

00:54:53He always pushed so many things into some other time.

00:54:55But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

00:54:58I stared at that message, my heart aching, and finally replied with only one word.

00:55:03Okay, so I canceled all the seaside hotel reservations.

00:55:06I researched the national park route again, booked the car, booked Airbnbs, checked elevation,

00:55:12checked weather, made the budget, and bought travel insurance.

00:55:16Blair sent a line in the group.

00:55:18Kamina is still reliable with planning.

00:55:20She added a clapping emoji after it.

00:55:22Looking at that sentence, I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

00:55:27On departure day, Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

00:55:31Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

00:55:33She wore sunglasses, held an iced latte, and still had one leg outside the car.

00:55:38When she saw me dragging my suitcase out, she lifted her chin.

00:55:43Kamina, sit in the back.

00:55:45I get a little carsick.

00:55:46The front is more comfortable.

00:55:47I get carsick too.

00:55:48Preston knew that.

00:55:49I had just opened my mouth when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

00:55:53Just put up with it for now.

00:55:55Blair was editing until 3 last night.

00:55:56She's not doing great.

00:55:57There's more room in the back.

00:55:59You can sleep for a while.

00:56:00I watched him do all of that so naturally and suddenly remembered the long trip during freshman year.

00:56:05Back then, I got carsick too, badly.

00:56:07Pull over for a second.

00:56:10He gave me the passenger seat, sat in the back himself, and kept handing me water and tissues.

00:56:15Back then, he said,

00:56:17So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

00:56:18I want to spoil her.

00:56:20Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk and turned to Blair.

00:56:24Buckle up.

00:56:25Let's go.

00:56:25Standing beside the car, I smiled a little.

00:56:29Get in already.

00:56:30We're leaving.

00:56:32Only then did I realize he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

00:56:37They chatted excitedly the whole way they talked about shooting angles, drone routes, and which stretch of highway was best

00:56:43for sunset.

00:56:44Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film, the title could be Before Graduation.

00:56:49We fled into the wild.

00:56:50I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

00:56:53Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

00:56:56What time to leave.

00:56:57What time to arrive.

00:56:58Where we could get gas.

00:57:00Where we could eat.

00:57:01Which stretches had no signal.

00:57:02Which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water.

00:57:05However, several times I tried to join in.

00:57:09The view up ahead is nice.

00:57:11The Airbnb host for tonight said,

00:57:13The road up the mountain is narrow.

00:57:15We'd better arrive before dark.

00:57:18No one answered.

00:57:20At lunch at a rest stop, I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

00:57:25This place has bad reviews.

00:57:26A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

00:57:28Let's go to the one next door.

00:57:29Blair glanced at the sign.

00:57:30I want this Tex-Mec place.

00:57:32A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

00:57:33Sure.

00:57:35Your call.

00:57:36But your stomach is already sensitive.

00:57:38Samana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

00:57:41It's just one meal.

00:57:42It's not that serious.

00:57:43In the end, they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

00:57:47Preston ate happily.

00:57:48Less than half an hour after eating.

00:57:52His stomach hurt so badly, his face turned pale.

00:57:55I dug stomach medicine out of my bag, poured water, and handed it to him.

00:58:00Samana, you really are like his mom.

00:58:04She's always been like that.

00:58:06Used to managing me.

00:58:07My hand froze in mid-air.

00:58:08I was clearly caring about him.

00:58:10But from their mouths, it sounded like some boring joke.

00:58:13In the afternoon, we kept driving.

00:58:15The weather turned worse, and fog rose near the mountains.

00:58:18Don't drive too fast.

00:58:19There are a series of curves ahead.

00:58:21Samana, if you're scared, close your eyes and rest.

00:58:24Don't distract him.

00:58:27You heard her.

00:58:28Close your eyes.

00:58:29I gripped the seat belt and said nothing more.

00:58:32Later, the fog grew thicker, and my car sickness got worse.

00:58:35My stomach churned badly, and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

00:58:39I lowered my head and searched my bag for motion sickness pills.

00:58:43Only then did I remember that when I separated the medicine that morning,

00:58:46I had put that box alone into the front storage compartment.

00:58:51Preston, can we stop at the next rest stop?

00:58:53I need to buy some medicine.

00:58:54He answered.

00:58:55Hmm.

00:58:56But the music in the car was too loud.

00:58:58Blair was excitedly showing him the photos she had just taken.

00:59:01Look at this one.

00:59:02It's so cinematic.

00:59:03If we cut this trip right, it's definitely going viral.

00:59:07Not bad, Director Blair.

00:59:10The two of them laughed.

00:59:12I leaned against the back seat, closed my eyes, and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

00:59:17In that moment, I suddenly remembered many things from before.

00:59:20During sophomore year, Preston held a photography exhibition.

00:59:24To help him set it up, I ran to print shops for three days straight until my voice went hoarse.

00:59:30After the exhibition ended, Blair stood before the wall of works,

00:59:33discussing creative ideas with the professor.

00:59:36The professor praised the two of them for working well together.

00:59:40We really do make a good pair.

00:59:43I stood in the corner, holding the empty cardboard boxes we had taken down.

00:59:47He did not look back at me.

00:59:49I also remembered that summer in junior year.

00:59:52Preston said he wanted to go to a remote area for field photography.

00:59:57Afraid he was not prepared enough, I spent half a month researching,

01:00:01buying medicine for him, and helping rent equipment.

01:00:03But on departure day, he suddenly told me there was no room in the car and said I should not

01:00:08go.

01:00:08I stood downstairs from the dorm with my luggage for a long time, unmoving.

01:00:13Later, I saw Blair post on Instagram.

01:00:16The best partner is always on the road.

01:00:18In the photo, she sat in the passenger seat, and Preston had one hand on the steering wheel.

01:00:23Sunlight fell across the side of his face.

01:00:25He looked beautiful and very unfamiliar.

01:00:28There was also the photography club gathering.

01:00:31Someone asked Preston,

01:00:33Why didn't your girlfriend come?

01:00:35She doesn't really know how to have fun.

01:00:37Even if she came, she couldn't join the conversation.

01:00:39That day, I happened to be standing outside the private room,

01:00:42holding the hangover drink I had bought for him.

01:00:44I did not go in.

01:00:46I lied and said something had come up.

01:00:48He did not ask further.

01:00:49Taken one by one, none of these things seemed major, but stacked together.

01:00:53They had been pressing on my heart, making it hard for me to breathe for a very long time.

01:01:01The car finally pulled into a rest stop.

01:01:04I pushed open the door and got out.

01:01:07My leg's a little weak.

01:01:11Hurry up.

01:01:11We still have to make sunset.

01:01:14I'll buy some medicine.

01:01:15It'll be quick.

01:01:17There were many people inside the rest stop.

01:01:19The convenience store was at the very back.

01:01:21I waited in line to buy medicine and got a cup of hot water.

01:01:25When I came out, the sky had darkened a little.

01:01:27I carried the medicine and hot water to the parking area.

01:01:30The spot where the car had been parked was empty.

01:01:33I froze.

01:01:34Thinking I had remembered the wrong place,

01:01:36I searched farther ahead, row after row of cars.

01:01:39None of them was that white forerunner.

01:01:42I stood there as my hands slowly went cold.

01:01:51That was when the phone rang.

01:01:57Shemina, where did you go?

01:02:00I'm at the rest stop.

01:02:01I went to buy medicine.

01:02:04Why didn't you get in the car?

01:02:06I didn't get in the car.

01:02:07You didn't know?

01:02:08I thought she was sleeping in the back.

01:02:10Preston, we've already driven more than 20 miles.

01:02:12If we go back, we'll miss sunset.

01:02:13Shemina, don't make this bigger than it is.

01:02:15We're on the highway now.

01:02:16Turning around is a hassle.

01:02:20See if you can get a car and go to the next exit first.

01:02:22I stood in a strange rest stop surrounded by strangers.

01:02:26A big truck drove past beside me,

01:02:28and the wind hit my face directly.

01:02:31Preston, are you sure you're not coming back to get me?

01:02:35Can you not frame it like that?

01:02:37It's not like we did it on purpose.

01:02:38You're an adult.

01:02:39Can't you figure out how to get here yourself?

01:02:40You've spoiled her.

01:02:42She's always like this.

01:02:43One little thing happens,

01:02:44and she needs everyone to revolve around her.

01:02:46I laughed softly, too.

01:02:47So in their eyes,

01:02:48leaving me at a rest stop was nothing.

01:02:50So the sunset they wanted to see

01:02:52mattered more than me standing here alone.

01:02:54I lowered my head and looked at the hot water in my hand.

01:02:57The paper cup burned my palm red,

01:02:59but my heart was cold.

01:03:00Okay.

01:03:02Send me your location once you get a ride.

01:03:04Don't wander around.

01:03:05And don't cry.

01:03:06Don't make it ugly when we're supposed to be having fun.

01:03:08I did not answer.

01:03:09I hung up directly.

01:03:11The wind blew over,

01:03:12and my tears fell all at once.

01:03:13Not the kind of loud sobbing,

01:03:15just tears falling nonstop into the paper cup

01:03:18without a sound.

01:03:19I remembered that before departure,

01:03:21Mom had asked me,

01:03:23Are you really going that far with them?

01:03:25Every time you come back from a trip with them,

01:03:27you look exhausted.

01:03:30It's a graduation trip.

01:03:32This might be the last time.

01:03:34Only now did I understand.

01:03:35The last time really was the last time.

01:03:39I opened the booking app

01:03:40and bought a plane ticket

01:03:41to a seaside town in California.

01:03:43It had the old street I had canceled before.

01:03:45It had the ocean I wanted to see.

01:03:47It had the clam chowder I wanted to eat.

01:03:49And there was a content studio there

01:03:50where I had secretly applied before.

01:03:52They had sent me a second round interview invitation last week.

01:03:55Preston, look.

01:03:56I had not replied because Preston had said,

01:03:58I don't feel comfortable with you going out of town alone.

01:04:01Come back to Austin with me instead.

01:04:03I'll ask a friend to arrange a marketing job for you.

01:04:05At the time, I did not refuse.

01:04:07Not because I truly wanted to go.

01:04:09Only because I was already used to walking the road he arranged for me.

01:04:12But now, I suddenly did not want that anymore.

01:04:14I opened all the orders,

01:04:16the Airbnbs for the next six days,

01:04:18the campsites,

01:04:19the rental car,

01:04:19and the booked photo shoot.

01:04:21I canceled all of them.

01:04:22I was the one who booked them in the first place.

01:04:24I was the one who paid the deposits.

01:04:25I had no reason to keep preserving a trip that never included me.

01:04:29Then I opened iMessage and removed Preston from my pinned chats.

01:04:32Finally, I sent mom a message.

01:04:34Mom, I'm not going to Utah.

01:04:36I want to go to the beach.

01:04:38Go.

01:04:38Take care of yourself first this time.

01:04:40Looking at those two lines,

01:04:42my tears fell again.

01:04:43The sky was completely dark.

01:04:45Dragging my suitcase,

01:04:46I walked toward the airport shuttle behind me.

01:04:50Where are you headed, young lady?

01:04:52Somewhere I can be as free as the wind.

01:04:54The highway stayed lit.

01:04:55But this time, I did not chase after it.

01:04:58Sounds wild.

01:04:59Let's go.

01:05:00Let's see.

01:05:01I love it.

01:05:13On the day of our graduation trip,

01:05:15my boyfriend and his best friend left me behind at an interstate rest stop.

01:05:19They had driven away for almost half an hour before realizing I was missing from the car.

01:05:24When Preston Whitaker called me,

01:05:26there was no urgency in his voice.

01:05:28Only irritation.

01:05:31Samina, why didn't you get in the car?

01:05:34Stop making this a thing.

01:05:36We still have to make it for sunset.

01:05:37We can't turn around.

01:05:38Call yourself an Uber and come over.

01:05:40On the other end,

01:05:41Blair Hayes' voice was clear, too.

01:05:43She's not a child.

01:05:44Do you really have to manage everything for her?

01:05:47If it had been before,

01:05:48I would definitely have apologized first with red eyes.

01:05:51Then I would drag my suitcase and find a way to catch up with them.

01:05:54But this time,

01:05:55standing outside the rest stop and looking at the gray-blue sky,

01:05:59I suddenly did not want to chase anymore.

01:06:01I canceled all the Airbnb reservations for the rest of the trip.

01:06:05I changed my flight and went to the seaside town I had always wanted to visit.

01:06:09The one they always said was,

01:06:11too boring.

01:06:12In that moment,

01:06:13I knew very clearly that I no longer wanted to follow someone else's road.

01:06:17This graduation trip was originally something Preston and I had agreed on.

01:06:21For four years of college,

01:06:22I had gone with him to many places.

01:06:24National parks,

01:06:26canyons,

01:06:26deserts,

01:06:27and many remote highways.

01:06:28All routes he liked,

01:06:30before graduation.

01:06:31I brought it up to him once.

01:06:33Preston,

01:06:34let's go to the beach.

01:06:35Find a quieter little town,

01:06:37sleep in a bit,

01:06:38eat seafood,

01:06:39feel the ocean breeze,

01:06:40and not rush anywhere.

01:06:41Okay.

01:06:42The graduation trip is up to you.

01:06:44I was happy for a long time.

01:06:46I made three versions of the itinerary.

01:06:49The hotel was next to the old street,

01:06:51with a little balcony where we could see the harbor lights at night.

01:06:54I even secretly bought a white dress,

01:06:56wanting to take graduation photos with him by the sea.

01:06:59But one week before departure,

01:07:01Blair suddenly sent a route map through Arizona and Utah in the iMessage group.

01:07:09Graduation should be somewhere more cinematic.

01:07:11You can go to the beach anytime.

01:07:13Monument Valley in summer doesn't get good weather every year.

01:07:15This route looks good.

01:07:17But didn't we agree to go to the beach?

01:07:21Hamina,

01:07:21you don't seriously want to turn graduation trip into retirement life,

01:07:24do you?

01:07:25We're only in our early 20s.

01:07:27Don't live like you're already that dull.

01:07:30The others in the group sent laughing emojis too.

01:07:33Somebody said it was only worth it if we went to national parks and shot epic photos.

01:07:38Someone said the beach was too ordinary.

01:07:40Someone else said a pairing like Preston and Blair would be wasted if they didn't shoot a road movie.

01:07:45Preston did not speak up for me.

01:07:47That's enough.

01:07:47He only messaged me privately.

01:07:49Don't kill everyone's mood.

01:07:51Blair isn't wrong.

01:07:52I'll take you to the beach some other time.

01:07:54Some other time.

01:07:55He always pushed so many things into some other time.

01:07:58But those other times never ended up belonging to me.

01:08:00I stared at that message,

01:08:02my heart aching,

01:08:03and finally replied with only one word.

01:08:05Okay, so I cancelled all the seaside hotel reservations.

01:08:08I researched the national park route again,

01:08:11booked the car,

01:08:12booked Airbnbs,

01:08:13checked elevation,

01:08:14checked weather,

01:08:15made the budget,

01:08:16and bought travel insurance.

01:08:18Blair sent a line in the group.

01:08:20Kamina is still reliable with planning.

01:08:22She added a clapping emoji after it.

01:08:24Looking at that sentence,

01:08:25I could not even tell whether I was supposed to be happy.

01:08:29On departure day,

01:08:30Preston came to pick me up in his forerunner.

01:08:33Blair was already sitting in the passenger seat.

01:08:35She wore sunglasses,

01:08:37held an iced latte,

01:08:38and still had one leg outside the car.

01:08:40When she saw me dragging my suitcase out,

01:08:42she lifted her chin.

01:08:45Kamina,

01:08:45sit in the back.

01:08:47I get a little carsick.

01:08:48The front is more comfortable.

01:08:49I get carsick too.

01:08:51Preston knew that.

01:08:52I had just opened my mouth

01:08:53when he had already pulled open the back door for me.

01:08:56Just put up with it for now.

01:08:57Blair was editing until three last night.

01:08:58She's not doing great.

01:08:59There's more room in the back.

01:09:01You can sleep for a while.

01:09:01I watched him do all of that so naturally

01:09:04and suddenly remembered the long trip during freshman year.

01:09:07Back then,

01:09:08I got carsick too badly.

01:09:10Pull over for a second.

01:09:12He gave me the passenger seat,

01:09:14sat in the back himself,

01:09:15and kept handing me water and tissues.

01:09:18Back then,

01:09:18he said,

01:09:19So what if my girlfriend is a little delicate?

01:09:20I want to spoil her.

01:09:22Now he pushed my luggage into the trunk

01:09:24and turned to Blair.

01:09:26Buckle up.

01:09:27Let's go.

01:09:28Standing beside the car,

01:09:29I smiled a little.

01:09:31Get in already.

01:09:32We're leaving.

01:09:34Only then did I realize

01:09:36he had stopped putting me in front a long time ago.

01:09:39They chatted excitedly

01:09:40the whole way they talked about shooting angles,

01:09:43drone routes,

01:09:43and which stretch of highway was best for sunset.

01:09:46Blair even said that if this trip were cut into a short film,

01:09:49the title could be Before Graduation,

01:09:51we fled into the wild.

01:09:53I sat in the back seat with my iPad on my knees.

01:09:56Inside was the itinerary I had organized.

01:09:58What time to leave?

01:09:59What time to arrive?

01:10:01Where we could get gas,

01:10:02where we could eat,

01:10:03which stretches had no signal,

01:10:04which Airbnb needed a call in advance to confirm hot water.

01:10:09Several times,

01:10:10I tried to join in.

01:10:11The view up ahead is nice.

01:10:13The Airbnb host for tonight said,

01:10:16The road up the mountain is narrow.

01:10:18We'd better arrive before dark.

01:10:20No one answered.

01:10:22At lunch at a rest stop,

01:10:24I sent Preston the restaurant I had checked on Yelp in advance.

01:10:27This place has bad reviews.

01:10:29A lot of people say the hygiene is poor.

01:10:30Let's go to the one next door.

01:10:31Blair glanced at the sign.

01:10:33I want this Tex-Mec place.

01:10:34A lot of bad reviews just means they aren't fake.

01:10:36Sure.

01:10:37Your call.

01:10:38But your stomach is already sensitive.

01:10:40Samana, can you stop being so tense on a trip?

01:10:43It's just one meal.

01:10:44It's not that serious.

01:10:45In the end,

01:10:46they ordered a lot of greasy, spicy food.

01:10:49Preston ate happily,

01:10:50less than half an hour after eating.

01:10:55His stomach hurt so badly,

01:10:56his face turned pale.

01:10:58I dug stomach medicine out of my bag,

01:11:00poured water,

01:11:01and handed it to him.

01:11:02Samana,

01:11:03you really are like his mom.

01:11:06She's always been like that.

01:11:08Used to managing me.

01:11:09My hand froze in midair.

01:11:11I was clearly caring about him.

01:11:12But from their mouths,

01:11:14it sounded like some boring joke.

01:11:15In the afternoon,

01:11:16we kept driving.

01:11:17The weather turned worse,

01:11:18and fog rose near the mountains.

01:11:20Don't drive too fast.

01:11:21There are a series of curves ahead.

01:11:23Samana,

01:11:24if you're scared,

01:11:25close your eyes and rest.

01:11:26Don't distract him.

01:11:29You heard her.

01:11:30Close your eyes.

01:11:31I gripped the seat belt

01:11:33and said nothing more.

01:11:34Later,

01:11:34the fog grew thicker,

01:11:36and my car sickness got worse.

01:11:37My stomach churned badly,

01:11:39and cold sweat began forming on my forehead.

01:11:42I lowered my head

01:11:43and searched my bag

01:11:44for motion sickness pills.

01:11:45Only then did I remember

01:11:47that when I separated

01:11:48the medicine that morning,

01:11:49I had put that box alone

01:11:50into the front storage compartment.

01:11:54Preston,

01:11:54can we stop at the next rest stop?

01:11:55I need to buy some medicine.

01:11:56He answered.

01:11:57Hmm.

01:11:58But the music in the car

01:11:59was too loud.

01:12:00Blair was excitedly showing him

01:12:02the photos she had just taken.

01:12:03Look at this one.

01:12:04It's so cinematic.

01:12:06If we cut this trip right,

01:12:07it's definitely going viral.

01:12:10Not bad,

01:12:10director Blair.

01:12:12The two of them laughed.

01:12:14I leaned against the back seat,

01:12:16closed my eyes,

01:12:17and felt my stomach tighten in waves.

01:12:19In that moment,

01:12:20I suddenly remembered

01:12:21many things from before.

01:12:23During sophomore year,

01:12:24Preston held a photography exhibition.

01:12:26To help him set it up,

01:12:27I ran to print shops

01:12:28for three days straight

01:12:29until my voice went hoarse.

01:12:32After the exhibition ended,

01:12:34Blair stood before the wall of works,

01:12:36discussing creative ideas

01:12:37with the professor.

01:12:38The professor praised the two of them

01:12:40for working well together.

01:12:42We really do make a good pair.

01:12:45I stood in the corner,

01:12:46holding the empty cardboard boxes

01:12:48we had taken down.

01:12:49He did not look back at me.

01:12:51I also remembered

01:12:53that summer in junior year,

01:12:55Preston said he wanted to go

01:12:56to a remote area

01:12:57for field photography.

01:12:59Afraid he was not prepared

01:13:01enough,

01:13:01I spent half a month

01:13:02researching,

01:13:03buying medicine for him,

01:13:04and helping rent equipment.

01:13:05But on departure day,

01:13:07he suddenly told me

01:13:08there was no room in the car

01:13:09and said I should not go.

01:13:11I stood downstairs

01:13:12from the dorm

01:13:13with my luggage

01:13:13for a long time,

01:13:14unmoving.

01:13:15Later I saw Blair post

01:13:17on Instagram.

01:13:18The best partner

01:13:18is always on the road.

01:13:20In the photo,

01:13:21she sat in the passenger seat

01:13:22and Preston had one hand

01:13:24on the steering wheel.

01:13:25Sunlight fell across

01:13:26the side of his face.

01:13:27He looked beautiful

01:13:28and very unfamiliar.

01:13:31There was also

01:13:31the photography club gathering.

01:13:33Someone asked Preston,

01:13:35Why didn't your girlfriend come?

01:13:37She doesn't really know

01:13:38how to have fun.

01:13:39Even if she came,

01:13:40she couldn't join the conversation.

01:13:41That day,

01:13:42I happened to be standing

01:13:43outside the private room

01:13:44holding the hangover drink

01:13:45I had bought for him.

01:13:46I did not go in.

01:13:48I lied and said

01:13:49something had come up.

01:13:50He did not ask further.

01:13:51Taken one by one,

01:13:53none of these things

01:13:53seemed major,

01:13:54but stacked together.

01:13:56They had been pressing

01:13:57on my heart,

01:13:57making it hard for me

01:13:58to breathe for a very long time.

01:14:03The car finally pulled

01:14:05into a rest stop.

01:14:07I pushed open the door

01:14:08and got out.

01:14:09My leg's a little weak.

01:14:13Hurry up,

01:14:14we still have to make sunset.

01:14:16I'll buy some medicine.

01:14:17It'll be quick.

01:14:19There were many people

01:14:20inside the rest stop.

01:14:21The convenience store

01:14:22was at the very back.

01:14:23I waited in line

01:14:25to buy medicine

01:14:25and got a cup of hot water.

01:14:27When I came out

01:14:28the sky had darkened a little.

01:14:29I carried the medicine

01:14:30and hot water

01:14:31to the parking area.

01:14:32The spot where the car

01:14:33had been parked was empty.

01:14:35I froze,

01:14:36thinking I had remembered

01:14:37the wrong place.

01:14:38I searched farther ahead.

01:14:39Row after row of cars,

01:14:41none of them,

01:14:42was that white floor running.

01:14:44I stood there

01:14:44as my hands slowly went cold.

01:14:54That was when

01:14:54the phone rang.

01:15:00Shamina,

01:15:00where did you go?

01:15:03I'm at the rest stop.

01:15:04I went to buy medicine.

01:15:06Why didn't you get in the car?

01:15:08I didn't get in the car.

01:15:09You didn't know?

01:15:10I thought she was sleeping

01:15:11in the back.

01:15:12Preston,

01:15:12we've already driven

01:15:13more than 20 miles.

01:15:14If we go back,

01:15:14we'll miss sunset.

01:15:15Samia,

01:15:16don't make this bigger

01:15:16than it is.

01:15:17We're on the highway now,

01:15:19turning around as a hassle.

01:15:22See if you can get a car

01:15:23and go to the next exit first.

01:15:25I stood in a strange rest stop

01:15:26surrounded by strangers.

01:15:28A big truck drove past beside me,

01:15:30and the wind hit my face directly.

01:15:34Preston,

01:15:34are you sure

01:15:35you're not coming back

01:15:35to get me?

01:15:37Can you not frame it like that?

01:15:39It's not like we did it on purpose.

01:15:40You're an adult.

01:15:41Can't you figure out

01:15:41how to get here yourself?

01:15:42You've spoiled her.

01:15:44She's always like this.

01:15:45One little thing happens

01:15:46and she needs everyone

01:15:47to revolve around her.

01:15:48I laughed softly too.

01:15:49So in their eyes,

01:15:50leaving me at a rest stop

01:15:51was nothing.

01:15:52So the sunset they wanted to see

01:15:54mattered more than me

01:15:55standing here alone.

01:15:56I lowered my head

01:15:57and looked at the hot water

01:15:58in my hand.

01:15:59The paper cup burned my palm red,

01:16:01but my heart was cold.

01:16:03Okay.

01:16:04Send me your location

01:16:05once you get a ride.

01:16:06Don't wander around.

01:16:07And don't cry.

01:16:08Don't make it ugly

01:16:09when we're supposed

01:16:09to be having fun.

01:16:10I did not answer.

01:16:11I hung up directly.

01:16:13The wind blew over

01:16:14and my tears fell all at once.

01:16:16Not the kind of loud sobbing,

01:16:17just tears falling nonstop

01:16:19into the paper cup

01:16:20without a sound.

01:16:21I remembered that

01:16:22before departure,

01:16:23mom had asked me,

01:16:25Are you really going

01:16:26that far with them?

01:16:27Every time you come back

01:16:28from a trip with them,

01:16:29you look exhausted.

01:16:32It's a graduation trip.

01:16:34This might be the last time.

01:16:36Only now did I understand.

01:16:37The last time really

01:16:39was the last time.

01:16:41I opened the booking app

01:16:42and bought a plane ticket

01:16:43to a seaside town

01:16:44in California.

01:16:45It had the old street

01:16:46I had canceled before.

01:16:47It had the ocean

01:16:48I wanted to see.

01:16:49It had the clam chowder

01:16:50I wanted to eat.

01:16:51And there was a content studio

01:16:52there where I had

01:16:53secretly applied before.

01:16:54They had sent me

01:16:55a second round interview

01:16:56invitation last week.

01:16:57Preston, look.

01:16:58I had not replied

01:16:59because Preston had said,

01:17:00I don't feel comfortable

01:17:01with you going out

01:17:02of town alone.

01:17:03Come back to Austin

01:17:04with me instead.

01:17:05I'll ask a friend

01:17:06to arrange a marketing job

01:17:07for you.

01:17:07At the time,

01:17:08I did not refuse.

01:17:09Not because I truly

01:17:10wanted to go.

01:17:11Only because I was already

01:17:12used to walking the road

01:17:13he arranged for me.

01:17:14But now,

01:17:15I suddenly did not

01:17:16want that anymore.

01:17:17I opened all the orders,

01:17:18the Airbnbs for the next

01:17:19six days,

01:17:20the campsites,

01:17:21the rental car,

01:17:22and the booked photo shoot.

01:17:23I canceled all of them.

01:17:24I was the one

01:17:24who booked them

01:17:25in the first place.

01:17:26I was the one

01:17:27who paid the deposits.

01:17:28I had no reason

01:17:29to keep preserving a trip

01:17:30that never included me.

01:17:31Then I opened iMessage

01:17:32and removed Preston

01:17:33from my pinned chats.

01:17:35Finally,

01:17:35I sent mom a message.

01:17:36Mom,

01:17:37I'm not going to Utah.

01:17:38I want to go to the beach.

01:17:40Go.

01:17:41Take care of yourself

01:17:41first this time.

01:17:43Looking at those two lines,

01:17:44my tears fell again.

01:17:46The sky was completely dark.

01:17:47Dragging my suitcase,

01:17:48I walked toward

01:17:49the airport shuttle

01:17:50behind me.

01:17:53Where are you headed,

01:17:54young lady?

01:17:54Somewhere I can be

01:17:55as free as the wind.

01:17:56The highway stayed lit,

01:17:57but this time

01:17:58I did not chase after it.

01:18:00Sounds wild.

01:18:01Let's go.

01:18:02Let's go.

01:18:03Let's go.

01:18:05Let's go.

01:18:14Let's go.

💔No More Backing Down [Binge-Watch] Full Series | Would you forgive him? 🤔

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