00:07¶¶
00:43you may enter next please howdy Dan what's new how's tricks what's cooking what's cooking
00:52how's tricks what a strange language you bring from the earth I don't seem to follow you I shall
00:59refer you to the master of the dictionary Noah Webster perhaps he can understand you mr. Webster
01:07yes this newcomer's vocabulary is so unusual that I am unable to record his life on earth
01:14would you mind seeing if you can comprehend his odd manner of speech now young man go ahead with
01:21the story of your life sure thing that well I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth silver
01:28spoon
01:29in your mouth yes silver spoon in my mouth proceed then I seemed to grow up overnight one day at
01:44the
01:44crack of dawn I got up with the chickens to hunt the job and got a job slinging hash because
01:51the
01:51proprietor was short-handed but I couldn't cut the mustard so the guy gave me the gate so I went
01:59back to my little hole in the wall I was beside myself with anger then I decided to get a
02:07train
02:07ticket to Texas and there made some dough punching cattle from there I flew to Chicago there a beautiful
02:14girl stepped into the picture our eyes met my breath came in short pants and I got goose pimples I
02:24was all
02:24Tums Mary's clothes fit her like a glove and she looked mighty pretty with her hair done up in a
02:31bun she had good looking pins too
02:34finally finally she gives me a date I put on my white tie and tails and brother did she put
02:41on the dog we went
02:43around together for some time painting the town red going to the stork club and a box at the opera
02:52after the
02:54opera I had a cocktail and Mary had a Moscow mule at dinner Mary let her hair down and ate
03:02like a horse
03:05by then my money was running out on me so I writes a check it bounced brother I was really
03:12in a pickle
03:13the proprietor drew a gun on me but I gave him the slip and hid in the foothills in no
03:22time the law was on
03:23my heels on the witness stand the judge tried to pump me but it seemed that every time I opened
03:30my mouth
03:30I put my foot in it so he sent me up the river to do a stretch in the job
03:37I was up against it and felt
03:41myself going to pot but I raised a big stink and they finally let me talk to an undercover man
03:49after
03:51going through a lot of red tape he sprung me it sure felt good to stretch my legs again then
04:00I went
04:00straight to the bus station and caught a greyhound funny on arriving I dropped in on Mary and threw
04:09myself at her feet I asked her to marry me but she turned her back on me and got on
04:16her high horse I
04:17couldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole she wouldn't say a word guess the cat had her tongue so
04:26I walked
04:26out after that I went to pieces feeling lonely I went down to Joe's mall shop where a bunch of
04:35the
04:35boys were hanging around and the music was nice the guy at the piano played by ear I felt a
04:45tug at my elbow it was the
04:49soda clerk we sat down and chewed the rag a while I heard from the grapevine that Mary was going
04:57around
04:58with an old flame that burned me up because I knew he was just feeding her a lime but the
05:07guy really spent
05:07his money like water I think he was connected with the railroad as they danced I tried to chisel in
05:15but
05:17the guy got in my hair so I left outside it was raining cats and dogs I was feeling mighty
05:25blue and
05:27everything looked black but I carried on and went to the thousand dollars there I became a beachcomber but
05:38I still thought of Mary and a tear ran down my cheek so I sends her a cable next day
05:47she sends me back a
05:48wire I rushed back to the US on a paddle boat and hot-footed it over to Mary's apartment but
05:57when I opened the door I noticed quite a few changes why Mary Mary had a bunch of little ones
06:06the groom
06:07had his hands full too so all this struck me so funny that I died laughing
06:17and here I am well what do you think did you follow me well I uh I well I uh
06:25what's the matter can't
06:26you talk has the cat got your tongue
