- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:13It set the whole world on fire.
00:17Oh, hell yeah.
00:21Yes!
00:35Tēnā koutou katoa, welcome to the penultimate episode of Taskmaster Season 7.
00:43My name is Jeremy Wells and one night in the TVNZ studios I tried to find the bathroom
00:49only to stumble across a strange world of sealed envelopes and broken comedians.
00:57I haven't found a way out in seven years and the worst thing is I'm still desperate for a wee.
01:04But, for now, I am the Taskmaster.
01:09And to my left, a man who looks like he's doing important admin with his iPad
01:14but is really just playing solitaire, it's Paul Williams!
01:21And to my right, no one.
01:24That's right, we're doing something a little different tonight.
01:27We've gotten rid of all the contestants. Why, Paul?
01:29For tonight's prize task, we've asked our contestants to bring in the best disguise.
01:35Ooh.
01:36Yes.
01:37I'm going to bring them out in random order.
01:39Okay.
01:39So, please welcome contestant one.
01:49Contestant one is a gorilla.
01:54Can the gorilla talk?
01:56Uh-huh.
01:59Okay.
02:00Are you ready for contestant number two?
02:07Here we go.
02:09Ah.
02:10Hold on.
02:11Here we go.
02:11Here we go.
02:13Here we go.
02:15Yes.
02:17Oh, no.
02:18Yes.
02:24Where did you come from today, contestant number two?
02:26I just come from, ah, Remuera.
02:31And what do you do with yourself during the week, contestant number two?
02:34I'm running the world, actually. I'm actually making the whole world turn.
02:37So I'm running your dental clinics. I'm, um, I'm emailing absolutely everybody in the family tree.
02:44I'm running the law firms. I'm booking tickets for anything.
02:48Oh, the whole family to do anything, I'm booking those tickets in. Yeah.
02:53Okay, let's bring out contestant number three.
02:55Please welcome contestant number three.
03:00Oh, look at that!
03:07Do you want a hand?
03:09Right, here's contestant number three.
03:12Um, Paul, could you grab for the taskmaster? I think that's for me, is it?
03:16A little envelope there. Thank you very much.
03:20It says,
03:21Hey boss man, I know we've had our battles this series,
03:25but I'm so gutted I couldn't be here for the disguise task today.
03:30Ah, sucks balls.
03:32Anyway, here's a peace offering of a giant wooden horse.
03:37Just regular style. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:42Nothing crazy style.
03:44Peace out.
03:46Okay, there it is there.
03:48That's such a nice gift, isn't it? A horse.
03:50Playing pretty fast and loose with the term wooden.
03:55What about contestant number four?
03:57Please welcome contestant number four.
04:06G'day Dave, how are you?
04:09Is this your disguise?
04:12Mm-hmm.
04:14This will get you anywhere.
04:17It's the power of the vest.
04:18Because no one looks at a man in a fluoro vest.
04:23You can go anywhere with it.
04:24Dave, did you get this from the same place as you got the stop go sign for an earlier prize
04:28task?
04:29This week?
04:31Yeah.
04:34Yeah.
04:37What about contestant number five?
04:39Please welcome contestant number five.
04:52Hello.
04:54Uh, where'd you get the wig from?
04:56Oh, you can tell it's a wig.
04:58Hey, look sharp.
05:01As a person with a beard, I find his beard offensive.
05:06Well, it's two-tone.
05:08Would you like to, uh, have a crack at guessing who is in each disguise?
05:13Okay, so, in this particular suit here, I'm thinking that is...
05:19Ho-wane hotene.
05:32It is cooking in here, man.
05:36Oh!
05:38It came out as ice!
05:41Yeah!
05:43Really good!
05:46Oh!
05:47Pretty worth it, eh?
05:50Then I wonder who could be the gorilla clearly if it's rose much of fire
06:03What better disguise than hiding in plain sight sorry
06:22And I would have got away with it too if it weren't for the fact that Brindley has blue eyes
06:27and is white
06:31Where am I is this a dream this this whole thing is actually quite weird for me, too. Don't worry
06:36about that
06:38Okay, so I've got one more thing
06:40Oh
06:42I'm a fan of spycraft and every spy knows that the easier disguise is not putting on a beard but
06:50taking one off
07:14Okay, this is everyone's put a lot of effort into this apart from day
07:22I don't think anyone deserves one point. I think I'm gonna go
07:26Two points for Dave because he got that from the same place as a stop go sign clearly and then
07:31I'm actually gonna go
07:33four points for everybody else
07:40Yes, I'm on the leaderboard
07:45Truly devastating not to get five for this
07:51Okay, Paul, what's the first proper task of the show let's see them try hack this one
08:06Hi, Paul hello for hello rose hello, Dave hacky sack
08:11No, I don't think any man who hacky sacks should be approached. Okay, you hacky sack
08:17Yeah
08:20Get the hacky sack from the mat into the caravan if the hacky sack touches the ground you must start
08:27again
08:27You may not use your hands mouth or arms to hold anything you may not move while in position off
08:33the hacky sack
08:33You may not move the mat or the caravan
08:36Fastest wins your time starts now you can't use your mouth or your arms or your hands. Oh, okay, so
08:42we actually have to hacky it across
08:47All right nice to have everyone back in your proper place is also nice to have 16 year old Reese
08:52with us
08:53Oh
08:54Right who's hacky sacking are we gonna see first Paul up first? It's both teams
09:00Okay, what if I put that down and I could kick it onto your back?
09:04There's no way this is
09:05Can you do this point if you see that your back is perfectly flat?
09:08I mean you're perfectly doing a ball gunner
09:09You're doing a really good job
09:10Flexibility to get
09:12I can get a leg up there
09:12You can get it because you're so flexy Reese
09:14I'll be a backboard
09:19It's on it's on that's really well placed okay, okay your time starts now, okay, so we kick we kick
09:27To the caravan to the caravan see this is where the yoga classes come in guys. Yeah, sorry, I'm just
09:33kicking. No keep keep kicking
09:39Okay, I might have to review the footage, but I felt like it touched the ground
09:45Morgana was moving while in position of the hacky sack
09:48I thought it seemed too easy
09:53Start again, please. Okay, we're going. Do you want to try flick it all the way here?
09:58Kia ora te
09:58Kia ora te
10:00Oh no, it's too
10:02You go like this
10:04Yeah
10:04And then
10:06Is the hacky sack on the ground?
10:07No, it's in the basket
10:08Okay, and the basket's on the ground
10:10If you were on a horse, would you say oh, I'm walking on the ground I'm touching the ground
10:23And now
10:25Oh good
10:26Did you hold that?
10:27Yeah, I did actually
10:29Thank you for your honesty
10:30I'm only being honest because there's all those cameras around
10:33We can't move the mat, but can we make something that it can
10:37The trike?
10:39Yes
10:47Hang on, hang on
10:48Yeah
10:48It's amazing the ease in which you move this stone plinth
10:53What?
10:53Don't worry
10:54Three, two, one
11:00It's in there
11:01You can see it
11:03It is in there
11:04It is in there
11:04It's in there
11:05It's in there
11:05I've stopped the bomb
11:06Yo, exactly how are we supposed to do it
11:13When any of you five were at school, did you guys get tested for your reading comprehension?
11:19Reading?
11:20I mean Rose, if the hacky sack touches the ground
11:25Yeah
11:25You must start again immediately
11:27You just kicked the hacky sack
11:29I just, you know, I don't like following the rules
11:34No, that's so untrue
11:37I really do
11:37At one stage in the team of three, Juani
11:39You thought that you were Pele
11:42As the hacky sack was coming from like 10 meters away
11:44And somehow you thought you were going to let on your foot
11:47Whoa, I mean, I think we saw at one point I was nearly kind of close, okay
11:53Dave, what were you doing the whole time?
11:55You were just following Rose around like a support animal
11:58Yeah
11:58The thing is, is Rose had these great ideas
12:01And I've learned over these many years
12:03If a woman's got an idea, let her go with it
12:06Don't try and join in and share the glory
12:11Just be there to support
12:13Because women rule the world and men shut the up
12:17I'll get it done
12:22In terms of timing, because it was, who took the longest, eh?
12:26It was, yes
12:26So, Dave and Rose, 12 minutes and 58 seconds
12:30Morgana, Rhys and Juani, 12 minutes and 20 seconds
12:35Ooh
12:36Ooh, quite close
12:37Wow!
12:38It was close, but I think neither of your teams covered yourselves in glory
12:43So I reckon two points for the team of two and three points for the team of three
12:47Okay
12:47Yeah
12:49So for the episode, out in first equal with seven points each
12:54It's Juani, Morgana and Rhys
13:00Okay, time for a break now
13:02We'll see you soon
13:15Welcome back to Taskmaster
13:16We're just like 1995
13:18We are done with hacky-sacking
13:21And have all agreed to never speak of it again
13:24What is the next task, Paul?
13:26Lights, camera and microphones
13:29Those are three pieces of equipment that you need when you're making a movie
13:33Enjoy the task
13:43Hello, Morgana
13:44Hi, Paul
13:49You're filming this one?
13:50Mm-hmm
13:50Oh, very smooth
13:52It's a bit weird you being behind a camera
13:54I feel like you work for some undercover agency and
13:57I don't work for an undercover agency
14:01Are people saying that?
14:03Well
14:03Because I don't
14:04And everyone out there
14:05I don't
14:07Stop saying that I do
14:08Okay
14:09I'll read this
14:11Shoot a high octane
14:13No one would hire me to be a spy
14:16Why wouldn't they hire you to be a spy?
14:18Because I just wouldn't be one
14:19You look very nice in your suit type thing
14:23I actually think they don't even wear suits
14:27Okay
14:29Really sorry
14:29Okay
14:31Shoot a high octane film on this video camera
14:34That one?
14:35Mm-hmm
14:35Oh
14:36Your high octane film must feature at least three locations and three characters
14:42Once the camera starts rolling
14:44It may not be cut
14:45Your footage will be edited in order
14:48But only the first three seconds of every 20 seconds will be used
14:54Most high octane film wins
14:56Paul will press record in 20 minutes
15:00And then you'll have 10 minutes to shoot
15:02Your time starts now
15:03That's going to be really avant-garde
15:05Isn't it?
15:06It's going to be really interesting
15:07Let's go with the sock puppets
15:09And so what's the story going to be?
15:11Have you seen Fast and Furious?
15:13There's no story
15:14In the last one I saw they went to space
15:16Where's the story there?
15:18It's a story about family
15:21So I'm the bad guy
15:23My name is Klaus von Gunn
15:24Okay
15:25And I will also be the guard outside whose name is Beverly Culpepper
15:27Okay
15:28He's a good name
15:29So
15:30You live here in your mansion
15:32Okay
15:32And you don't share
15:34Maybe I'll make it a horror film like Blair Witch Project
15:36First shot is going to be
15:37People at a computer screen
15:39They've heard that there's some sort of thing from an alien
15:41The second shot is going to be the aliens coming down
15:43Then the military gets involved
15:45Each shot is only three seconds
15:47But it's high octane
15:49I honestly think this is
15:50This might be
15:52Spectacular
15:53Okay
15:58So you're not necessarily going to know when the camera is cut
16:01No it was extremely hard to keep track of I would say
16:05Whose high octane film are we going to see first Paul?
16:07Up first Morgana O'Reilly
16:10No you're so hungry
16:13Don't worry I'll get you the food
16:19Oh
16:19Oh I'm going to get him
16:20Oh I'm going to get him
16:22He is hoping this gets in
16:25Who's there?
16:27Who's there?
16:28I figure if I just go for 20 seconds at a time
16:30It's probably going to get
16:31What are you giving up to this weekend?
16:34That's a cute frame okay
16:42Yes great
16:43Come through this door
16:44Okay
16:45Behind me
16:46I'm going to kick you in my vagina
16:49Stay here two three
16:51One please sir
16:54Yes
16:56I'm going into the kitchen
17:06It's going to be my car
17:09The little guy won
17:11The little guy won't stay
17:17Thank you
17:17Thank you
17:18Thank you
17:18Morgana
17:19Yeah
17:19Can you talk us through what was going on there?
17:21I don't know if I can actually
17:22Okay so I do I think he's really rich and he's hogging all the food and I break in and
17:29I take the food for my exotic animals
17:32Is that it?
17:33I thought it would be
17:35Better
17:37Also incredible to see a woman directing you know seeing that behind the scenes
17:42Yeah
17:42Yeah
17:43Yeah
17:43It's pretty rare
17:43L.I. L.I.
17:47Who's three seconds spectacular are we going to see next Paul?
17:50Here's a sci-fi adventure from Hawaii
17:59What?
18:00This can only mean that there's life here
18:03This is its landing right now
18:15And aliens just come off their space
18:17Are you a good alien?
18:23No
18:34And now for the rest of them
18:41It's too much
18:42For one man
18:45Now aliens are coming in
18:48Hey
18:49How you doing?
18:51Don't come in here so casually
18:53I'll do what I want
18:54I'm taking this planet down
18:57I don't think so
19:02Just another day as Johnny Ardern
19:11Firstly straight off the bat great special effects
19:14How did you get that alien ship to look so real and land like that?
19:19I mean it was a lot of CGI
19:21I don't know if you saw the kind of computers that I was working with though
19:25It was pretty high tech stuff
19:26I thought we had a big wrap around
19:28Prime Minister of Earth
19:29Shout out Johnny Ardern
19:32I mean speaking of women in film
19:34So glad that you recast Jacinda as a man
19:38You know she did okay but if it was a man doing that
19:44Right who's nonsensical piece of cinema
19:47Am I going to watch the next book?
19:48Utilising the beautiful ancient art form of puppetry
19:52Here's Dave Whane
19:54So why are you crying for a teenage kid?
19:57My family
20:00They've been kidnapped by a ruthless gang of bandits
20:02They said we needed to pay or they'd kill my family
20:05So what do you want me to do about it?
20:09I want you to hurt them bad
20:11I'll do it
20:14Please don't kiss me sir
20:16That wasn't a kiss
20:19I'm a teenager
20:21Oh what a forest
20:25Give me the kid
20:27Oh things gonna get real bad
20:31You suck
20:34Let's have it in
20:38Wow
20:40That was pretty quick
20:41We gotta get out of here
20:43We'll never be safe anywhere
20:45I know a place
20:46Let's go
20:48Wow
20:49We're in space
20:51Hey teenager come here
20:53Here's your mum
20:54Mum
20:55Yeah
20:56Here I am
20:56I may have lost an eye
20:58But I gained a family
21:00Thank you so much sir
21:02Who said that?
21:04Love you sir
21:12Okay Dave so just quickly
21:13Once again top notch stuff
21:16Needs no words Jeremy
21:19I need no words
21:21Just explain the plot to me there
21:22What did you think the plot was?
21:25There was a mother that was trying to kiss her teenage son
21:31I believe it was a teenager's parents had been taken
21:34So he was at a bar meeting
21:36Yeah
21:37A man with an eye patch
21:38A man with the eye patch kisses the teenager
21:42As they do
21:45As they do
21:46As they do
21:47It was dealing with some quite intense issues
21:50Wasn't it?
21:50Yeah
21:50Yeah
21:51You know
21:51Controversial
21:52It's symbolic
21:55Right time for something you may wish was three seconds
21:59But is actually much longer
22:00It's the ads
22:01We'll see you after this
22:14Welcome back to Taskmaster
22:15Where five comedians are attempting to create their own high octane short films
22:21They have one 10 minute attempt to make their movie
22:24The camera only recording three second chunks every 20 seconds
22:29If you're having trouble following those instructions
22:31Wait till you see the films
22:33That's right Jeremy
22:34We've seen Huani's alien invasion
22:36Dave's trip to space
22:38And Morgana feeding popcorn to a giraffe
22:40Who are we going to see next Paul?
22:42Here's a high octane blockbuster from Rhys Actionson
22:53Beverly Culpeper speaking
22:56Oh no I've lost track of the time
22:58I just got a promotion
23:07Brian Vin Diesel
23:08You thought it would be that simple
23:10You'll never get away with this Klaus von Gaan
23:13But I already have
23:19Why don't we
23:20Your martial arts are no match for me
23:34Just another day for Brian Vin Diesel
23:36Yeah but do one
23:37The day for Brian Vin Diesel
23:41You happy with that?
23:43Um
23:44But you can do you can do a lot with music
23:52Thank you Rhys
24:02I think you were the only person who didn't play like the hero in his film Rhys
24:06Paul was Brian Vin Diesel
24:07I got him as the hero because he's the more clean cut of the two of us
24:10Or was at the time
24:12And then I would play all the auxiliary characters
24:14Brian Vin Diesel was just a man of action
24:17What inspired the soundtrack?
24:19Um I just wanted to give the whole thing a bit of pace
24:21I felt like three seconds was quite long for a shot
24:24But if you put some bugger chugga underneath
24:26And um how do you explain that dog's breakfast at the end there?
24:29I didn't realize that you have to call cut
24:33Or turn off the camera
24:34I really didn't think that they would keep all that in
24:37Okay we've got one more film to see Paul
24:39Here's a found footage horror film from the twisted mind of Crow's murder Fayo
24:45Oh my god Bradley!
24:48On this creepy house
24:49Gonna check it out
24:51Should we go in?
24:52Let's go in
24:54Come in Rachel it's not that scary come on
24:57Okay we really shouldn't be doing this
25:00This is kind of waking me out of bed come on
25:03Oh my gosh she stares along
25:05Where are you?
25:06Okay we should not be here
25:10What is this place?
25:11Oh yeah we have to leave here Bradley we have to leave
25:15Where is he?
25:16Where is he?
25:18What is that?
25:19What is that?
25:20What is that?
25:21Oh my god
25:22What is it?
25:22Are you Bradley?
25:33He's behind there, he's behind there
25:36He's behind there
25:43Are you following me?
25:51I'm just the virgin
26:01Yeah
26:08Maybe I've just been tricked because everyone else's was so crap
26:13That was quite good
26:14Scared
26:15It was Blair Witch like
26:17Yes
26:17It's actually I think maybe better than Blair Witch to be honest in a lot of ways
26:20Thank you so much
26:20I've actually just remembered I've never actually seen Blair Witch
26:23But I think that was kind of close to it
26:26Paul's character was genuinely scary
26:27I was scared and I was
26:30I was me
26:31Yeah
26:32No I was very impressed with that
26:33Right I need to judge these
26:34I'm going to get your tape Morgana and I'm going to destroy that for you
26:39I think we'll take that away and we'll put that in a bin somewhere
26:43Maybe shred it
26:44I think that's best
26:44We'll give you one point
26:45Mm-hmm
26:46Reese's had potential with the plot
26:48But the soundtrack ended up letting it down quite badly
26:52Three points to Dave
26:54Because I think you're dealing with some quite challenging themes there
26:57That intergenerational love
26:58And yeah
26:59Delicate
27:00It was delicately handled
27:02Put it that way
27:03Yeah
27:06I'm going to go four points for Hawane
27:09Again it was quite an intense plot
27:11But I think you pulled it off quite well
27:13And five points clearly for Rosemar Tefeo
27:15Because that was an impressive piece of work
27:20Okay Paul what's up next
27:22I'm not sure what's next
27:23I'd actually quite like to use my phone a friend
27:37Hello Rose
27:38Hello Paul
27:39Old school phone
27:40This looks uh
27:43Tricky
27:43Let's do this
27:44Mm-hmm
27:45Let's get this doing done
27:48I have an interesting phone call with someone famous
27:52Most interesting phone call wins
27:54You must script all your dialogue before the call
27:57You might may not deviate from your script
28:05If the famous person suspects you are doing this for a television show
28:08You must hang up immediately
28:10The contestant who calls the most famous person will receive two bonus points
28:15You have 14 minutes to prepare for your call
28:18Such a specific time
28:20Your time starts now
28:21Who's the most famous person in the world?
28:26Putin
28:30Oh I like this
28:32Oh I like this task
28:34Who is first on the blowable?
28:36Up first it's Dave Fonet
28:39I'm gonna ring one of my bestest buddies ever
28:43That's Oscar Kightley
28:44So what are you opening with?
28:46How you doing?
28:47That's a classic
28:48But we could have borrowed a million dollars
28:50Straight into it?
28:51Yeah
28:52No, because I've got to get an operation
28:54Will they be scared if you say that?
28:56Probably
29:03How you doing?
29:04Hey Nogga
29:04Hey Os, how you doing?
29:07Yeah, good my friend
29:08How are you buddy?
29:10What's your day like?
29:11I'm at the gym, lol
29:14Could I borrow a million dollar?
29:18Hey
29:20Because I've got to get an operation
29:23A what?
29:24It's not serious, just what it costs
29:28Oh
29:29Listen, I ain't playing here, just say yes
29:33Yes
29:34You're my best friend ever
29:38I love you
29:39I love you
29:40Say it back to me
29:41Hey, I love you, I love you Dave
29:43Can you say it in a deep voice?
29:47What? Shut up
29:49Or can you say it in a high voice?
29:52I love you Dave
29:54Love you Dave
29:55Goodbye
29:56Okay, see ya
29:57Bye
30:03I've got to say
30:03I reckon you nailed that task
30:06Oscar's famous
30:07You stuck to the script
30:09You may have got a million dollars out of the guy
30:12It was the worst thing in the world
30:16And the whole time I just wanted to hang up
30:18Because I felt so ashamed of myself
30:21That I'd come to this for a show
30:26And I had to train my best friend in the whole world
30:31I felt dirty
30:34Dirty
30:35But kissing teenagers, sweet ass
30:39In some cultures
30:47Time for a break now
30:48If you'll excuse me
30:49I'm going to call Oscar Kitely and ask for some cash
30:53Seems like the guy's a real pushover
30:55We'll see you after this
31:07Welcome back to Chargemaster
31:09We're just like proper reality tv
31:11Our cast is trying to make it seem like their conversations aren't scripted
31:16That's right Jeremy
31:16Our contestants are calling the most famous person they know
31:20And then trying to have a conversation without the famous person catching on
31:24Up next
31:25Rose, Reece and Hawane
31:28I could call Guy
31:29Guy
31:30Williams
31:31Hardly famous
31:32I think it's Monty but will they sniff it out?
31:36Guy Montgomery season two
31:37The most famous person I know might be Louis Davis
31:42He's like New Zealand's biggest TikTok guy
31:44Sam Campbell
31:46True
31:47I'm so nervous
31:49I hate prank calls
31:50It's not a prank call
31:51You're right
31:52It's just putting them on television without their consent
31:54Exactly
31:56I can
32:01Reece
32:02Hey bud, how are you?
32:04You know, it's the maddest thing I was just thinking about here
32:08I mean, I'm running
32:08Hello
32:09Hey Sammy
32:11What's going on dude?
32:12What's up dog?
32:13Ill with it
32:14You're a bro
32:15I had a random question
32:17Yeah bro
32:19Do you actually think you ever seen a ghost?
32:23Do I think I've ever seen a ghost?
32:25Yeah I do actually
32:25Well crazy, what happened?
32:27I've got a bet with my friend Harris that I can call someone and they can answer who is the
32:32highest scoring New Zealand test cricketer of all time and I'm hoping that that's you
32:39You sure?
32:41Did you know that wood pickers' tongues wrap around their skulls to prevent them from concussion?
32:47You know
32:48You see all that he'd get in?
32:50I read that and I thought of you
32:51Like imagine like a person in like a all black morph suit and it was very scary but it was
32:57very real and it was very vivid in my mind
32:59Hey, do I need to hear the result?
33:02Uh, hey, what's been going on with you?
33:05What do you mean?
33:07What's the nature of this beast?
33:08Jenny, you whiffle
33:09Oh no, hang on
33:11He's just set the kitchen on fire
33:12Put it, no, put it out
33:13No, put it out
33:15What?
33:17Also, whales naturally drowned to death
33:19How are you anyway?
33:21Yeah, I'm good
33:21But what are all these factoids?
33:23No, it's not
33:23Is it an oil fire?
33:24I don't have enough salt for that
33:26No, don't use water on an oil fire
33:29I'm sorry, I have to go
33:30I'm back next week, he's going to the movies
33:33Yeah, he's in the keen house, but yeah
33:36See you brother
33:37It's a real quick food call
33:39If you could be an animal, which one and why?
33:43If I could be any animal, I'd be a blue whale
33:46No, these are cool questions
33:48Well, why don't you hold up your part of the conversation?
33:52Alright, sorry
33:54Anyway, bro, I gotta go
33:55I got cool things happening
33:58Adios
33:59Peace
33:59I'll keep it
34:06What was happening with your conversation exactly, Hawaii?
34:10Well, I'd kind of written in that we would get into an argument
34:13And then as it was going on, he was just real nice the whole way through
34:18He was enjoying the questions
34:19He loved the question, what animal would you be, I'll be a blue whale
34:22He was the most tolerant person I've ever heard in my life
34:26Reece and Rose, Dangerous are calling a Taskmaster contestant
34:31That they may have thought that something was up perhaps
34:34I mean, yeah, I'm just pissed off that of all the people I rang
34:37I managed to have the most normal, uninteresting conversation
34:41With Sam Campbell
34:43I thought I had that in the bag
34:46He's a freak
34:47You ended up just calling him up and sort of just
34:50Womansplaining some animal facts at him
34:52Reece, you had an interesting tactic
34:54Because you obviously asked Guy about test cricket
34:57Something he obviously loves
34:58Yep
34:58But then you had something else going on in the background
35:01So a reason to hang up
35:03Yeah, I wanted an inciting incident that meant that any question that he would throw at me
35:08I had a reasonable excuse to deflect and not answer it in any way, shape or form
35:12Because he is an inquisitive mind, that Guy Montgomery
35:14He's so up for a phone call as well, Guy Montgomery
35:16Loves a chat
35:17Loves a chat
35:18While running, show off
35:19I know
35:21If I'm running, there's no talking going on
35:25Right, we've got one more celebrity phone call to go
35:28Last but not least, it's Morgana phone Riley
35:31Jekyll, Karen O'Leary
35:32Series 4, Taskmaster, New Zealand
35:35Your call has been forwarded to voicemail
35:41What about Thomas Sainsbury
35:43Season 5, Taskmaster, New Zealand
35:49Hi, this is Tom's phone
35:51Just leave a message, thanks, bye
35:52His answer and message was actually so sweet
35:56That part of me is possibly concerned that it was actually him pretending to be the answer and message
36:02Yeah, that's something he would do
36:03I'm going to try Jackie Van Beek
36:05Series 6, Taskmaster, New Zealand
36:07I can't see that shame
36:10Hi there, you've reached Jackie
36:11Please leave a message or send me a text or an email
36:14That felt like a short ring
36:16This is a f***ed up task
36:18What about Sarah Wiseman?
36:24Hey
36:25Hey
36:26Hey
36:26I'm good
36:28No, did you kick me?
36:31This is me
36:31So random of me to call you, I know
36:35That's not just so bizarre
36:36Because you were in my dreams last night
36:38You were running an audition and I kept f***ing up
36:40Oh, but I wanted to say
36:44But I can't remember the lines and I went out and there was like five people waiting including Matthew Sunderland
36:49And I'm like, I'm so sorry
36:51Oh, I wanted to say
36:55Happy birthday in case I missed it
36:58No
36:59No
37:01How
37:02How's your dog?
37:05My
37:05What?
37:06What?
37:08Oh wow
37:10Um, oh no, oh no, you're breaking up, hold on
37:13I gotta go, I gotta go
37:16She's like, you're on drugs
37:18Did you get that?
37:19I was in her dreams last night
37:21Oh, I feel terrible
37:23I feel betrayal
37:24I feel shame
37:25But also it was kind of funny
37:26It's like old school, eh?
37:28Like f***ing prank calls
37:29Old school
37:30Old school
37:33Morgz, that was so weird
37:35It's not my birthday and I don't have a dog
37:37Are you okay?
37:39Has she texted that?
37:40Yeah
37:44Okay
37:45So you chose, that was the interesting conversation that you wanted to have with someone?
37:49Well, I think I wrote it initially because I was going to call Karen O'Leary
37:52And she has a dog
37:54And I haven't spoken to her for a while so surely she would have had a birthday
38:00I mean it's a good opportunity to show off how many famous people you have in your phone directory
38:04Oh, we know way more famous people than that
38:08We're not f***ing ringing them
38:09There's a certain point where you're like, yeah
38:11It's like, you can't
38:12There's a certain point where their fame
38:15If you ring, they'll never return your call again
38:19So you just play your cards
38:21Yeah, we all know heaps of famous people
38:25Okay, should we score it?
38:27Yes, please
38:27Rose's conversation was so boring
38:29I'll go one point for you
38:31I'm going two points for Morgana
38:33Asking about the birthday and the dog
38:35Three points for Rhys Mathewson
38:38Because if you had a phone conversation with someone
38:39And all of a sudden there was some kind of fire going on in the background
38:42You'd remember it
38:43Four points for Hawane
38:44And I think five points for Dave
38:46That was a genuinely fascinating conversation around
38:50A million dollars
38:51And two bonus points for the most famous person
38:55Yeah, now this is an interesting one
38:57So I actually think that Sam is probably the most famous person
39:00So I would give two points to Rose for that
39:02He's an international playboy
39:05With Rose's two bonus points
39:07That means two points for Morgana
39:09Three points for Rhys and Rose
39:11Four points for Hawane
39:13And five points for Dave Whane
39:14Yeah, disgusting
39:16Disgusting
39:17We're done with our awkward conversations
39:19It's time for you to have yours
39:21Why don't you turn to your partner
39:22And ask if you're really still in love
39:25Or if you're just sticking together for the kids
39:27That's not a very nice idea, is it?
39:28We'll see you after the break
39:41Nau mai, hukumai
39:42And welcome back to Taskmaster
39:44It's the second to last episode of the season
39:47Where five grown adults are competing to win a soiled gorilla suit
39:51A poorly made horse
39:53Or the hair from the back of Rhys's neck
39:55But first, how are the scores looking, Paul?
39:59Out in first with 15 points
40:01It's Hawane Hotene
40:02All right, everyone
40:06Please head up on the stage for the final task of the show
40:13Who's reading the task tonight, Paul?
40:15Hawane, please
40:18Win the game of pleasantly warm potato
40:21Before you toss someone a pleasantly warm potato
40:24You must say a compliment
40:25The person holding the pleasantly warm potato
40:28At the end of the timer will be eliminated
40:30If you do a bad throw, drop the pleasantly warm potato
40:33Or reuse a compliment, you will be eliminated
40:36Last person standing wins
40:39One minute
40:40Round one
40:42Dave, you make me smile from ear to ear
40:49Dave, you are eliminated
40:5535 seconds, round two, are you ready?
40:58Rhys, you smell like a nice baby
41:01Hawane, you're a paragon of truth
41:03Let's call your friends with Sam Campbell
41:05Morgana, I love your wig
41:07You have a radiance
41:10Still great eyebrows
41:11Lovely smile, Morgana
41:14You smell like roses
41:16Rhys, you're funny
41:18Hawane, man, you're a G
41:20Morgana's a great actor
41:22You could get down
41:25The camera loves you
41:26Morgana, you're so great at acting
41:31Hawane said you're great at acting
41:33And then Rose repeated
41:34You're a great at acting
41:36Yeah, I think Rose is eliminated
41:39Hawane, yeah
41:40Fancy meeting you here
41:42For this round, 20 seconds
41:44On my whistle
41:46You're in good health
41:48Love your shoes
41:49Your aura is pleasant
41:50Great nose
41:51I'm not worried about you
41:52I'm not worried about you
41:53You're gregarious
41:55Colorful personality
41:56You have great hearing
41:57Exuberant man
41:59Intelligent woman
42:00I want to go places with you
42:02Kind and honest
42:03Oh, travel the world with me
42:04Come to my house
42:07I think there's a
42:08I want to go places with you
42:09Travel the world with me
42:11A little bit too similar
42:12I said both
42:16This is going to look like
42:17An ad campaign for
42:18Men's mental health
42:22Okay, this is the final
42:2415 seconds
42:25On my whistle
42:27Gorgeous feet
42:37I wish I had your career
42:38You're wise
42:39You're very
42:40You're very intelligent
42:41You can turn character
42:41Oh
42:50I panicked
42:51Right, well done everyone
42:53Let's come down and score it
42:54That was very good
42:55Very good, very good
43:05Beautiful
43:06What a fun game that was
43:08So
43:08What are the scores?
43:10So one point for Dave
43:10Two points for Rose
43:11Three points for Morgana
43:13Four points for Huwani
43:14And five points for Rhys Mathewson
43:15Okay
43:18So
43:19Give it to me straight Paul
43:20Who is the winner of episode nine?
43:22He's gone back to back
43:23The winner of episode nine is
43:25Huwani Horteni
43:26Oh wow
43:29Okay
43:30So now that the season's nearly over
43:33How are the scores looking overall Paul?
43:36Still unbelievably tight
43:37Out in first with a 145 points
43:40It's Rhys Mathewson
43:42Okay
43:43Still
43:45Anyone's game
43:46Except for the people
43:47Who clearly stand no chance of winning
43:50Congratulations to Huwani Horteni
43:54Please head up to the stage and collect your disguises
43:57On the off chance
43:59That they're not too hard to find
44:01Ka kite aru
44:02See you next time for the final episode
44:05If you do
44:05I love them
44:05I love them
44:05I love them
44:09Oh my God
44:09I love them
44:10Yes
44:10Yes
44:10Yes
44:24Yes
44:24Yes
44:25Yes
44:29Oh my god
44:30Go
44:31I'm going to grab my nuts.
44:33Is that it?
44:34This task has given me a new way of seeing the world.
44:45Oh, sorry, it's episode 10.
44:47I didn't realize this would happen,
44:49but I actually care quite a lot about the points.
44:52Go on, Hohane.