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00:00:08This is the first time I will show you how to create a new world.
00:00:09I will show you how to create a new world.
00:00:12I will show you how to create a new world.
00:00:40What?
00:00:42I'm tired.
00:00:46Okay.
00:00:51I'm sick of all the meaningless connections.
00:00:58Well, maybe.
00:01:01If you didn't fuck a new bitch every night, you'd actually take a moment to connect.
00:01:07Are you slut-shaming me right now?
00:01:11Absolutely not.
00:01:12But I know you.
00:01:15I'm having an existential crisis.
00:01:19Clearly.
00:01:21Why do I always do that?
00:01:23Do what?
00:01:25Lose myself and others.
00:01:28Like, I'm 22 and I still don't know what I'm doing.
00:01:32I'm gonna take a guess and say it's because you're only 22.
00:01:36Do you not see the difference between me and you?
00:01:39You and Rachel are in a healthy relationship.
00:01:42You're committed.
00:01:43You have a house.
00:01:44Me, I dated a girl who I love so much that I freaked the fuck out, screwed it all up,
00:01:50then
00:01:51wanted her back just to be at the same spot two years again later.
00:01:59I look at a boutique that I fucking hate waxing vaginas all day.
00:02:07I think that sounds pretty sweet.
00:02:11What am I doing wrong?
00:02:14Parker, you have got to stop comparing us.
00:02:18We are on two separate timelines.
00:02:21We're two different people.
00:02:23I mean, we're in a weird age anyway.
00:02:26I mean, you got some people just going into college.
00:02:29You got some people getting married, they have kids.
00:02:33It's gross.
00:02:34I mean, that one guy we knew from AP Bio.
00:02:38I'm thinking about her again.
00:02:44No.
00:02:46I am.
00:02:53You have got to stop this.
00:02:57Every time you get off track, you go back to this, Parker.
00:03:03You are comfortable with her, okay?
00:03:05But you cannot keep going back to that just because.
00:03:10I think I just need to get out of here.
00:03:13Go where?
00:03:15I don't know.
00:03:16Like, Nashville?
00:03:18I just want something meaningful.
00:03:25I guess if it keeps you from doing something idiotic.
00:03:29I want to drive.
00:03:32I mean, we can go for a drive and start a drink.
00:03:35I mean, I want to go somewhere.
00:03:36Like, like a road trip.
00:03:40Why are you looking at me like that?
00:03:42Let's go.
00:03:43Like, like right now?
00:03:45Like right now.
00:03:48Oh, my God.
00:03:51All right.
00:03:52Okay.
00:03:54Yes!
00:03:55Can we go tomorrow?
00:03:57Yeah, that's fine.
00:04:05Hey.
00:04:06Jessica.
00:04:07Um, I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it into work next week.
00:04:12What's that?
00:04:13My grandmother got hospitalized.
00:04:16She, uh, has really bad diarrhea.
00:04:23It won't stop.
00:04:27And they don't know, um, why.
00:04:32Listen, yeah, Jessica, I gotta go.
00:04:34I'm sorry.
00:04:34My mom is waiting on me and I'll be in next week, I promise.
00:04:41You're gonna go to hell.
00:04:43My grandma's been dead for like three years.
00:04:46She'll appreciate the spot in 80, though.
00:04:49Okay.
00:04:50Yeah.
00:04:51Yeah.
00:05:09All right.
00:05:11Nice.
00:05:13Close all the curtains.
00:05:17Stay on the phone
00:05:22We are the monsters
00:05:28Holding you still
00:05:33We are the gallows
00:05:39Up on the hill
00:05:46Can you pass me the gummy ones?
00:05:52There you go
00:05:53You know, when I was a kid and we'd go to the theater with my mom
00:06:00She'd actually always bring gummies to flip the popcorn
00:06:04So that's where you got it from?
00:06:05You thought I had a wheelchair like you guys
00:06:08Aww, she sounds like she'd be fun
00:06:12She wasn't, not really
00:06:16There's no place to hide
00:06:29Parker?
00:06:30I think I caught asthma
00:06:32I'm tired
00:06:34We haven't even started walking yet
00:06:40Shit
00:06:41Can you believe places like this just exist?
00:06:45We get to look at it with like our eyes
00:06:50It makes me feel kind of small
00:06:54But in a good way
00:06:55In a good way
00:06:57I guess that's better than, you know, like
00:06:58Going the other way around
00:06:59That's how you mean
00:07:03It don't matter?
00:07:07All right
00:07:07All right
00:07:07We're gonna stick a pen in that
00:07:08Come back to that later
00:07:10Enjoy the view
00:07:20Yeah
00:07:20I'm glad we did this
00:07:22It's a good idea
00:07:29I'm starting to think that I needed this too
00:07:32You know?
00:07:35I don't know
00:07:36I just feel like
00:07:37Every day is starting to blend together
00:07:40And it's just become so monotonous
00:07:42And like, am I doing something big
00:07:46In the grand scheme of everything?
00:07:48How could you say that?
00:07:50You and Rachel are literally perfect
00:07:54That's interesting that you think
00:07:56That just because I'm in a relationship with Rachel
00:07:58That my life is squeaky clean and spotless
00:08:02I just never really thought about it
00:08:06I mean, don't get me wrong
00:08:08Rachel's my bitch
00:08:09I love her
00:08:12But she doesn't define my whole existence
00:08:16Even on our best days
00:08:19I still feel like my existence
00:08:22Is uh
00:08:24Infinitesimal
00:08:25Whoa!
00:08:26Big word
00:08:27I know
00:08:29It's a song
00:08:30It's a dope ass song
00:08:31You should listen to it
00:08:49So like
00:08:51We're supposed to see like UFOs?
00:08:54Yeah
00:08:55So
00:08:56Apparently
00:08:57When it gets dark
00:08:59This becomes like
00:09:00The darkest place in the country
00:09:01And then
00:09:02The UFOs come out
00:09:04So like at night time?
00:09:06Yeah
00:09:06At night time
00:09:08Interesting
00:09:09Yeah
00:09:11So
00:09:13You remember that one time
00:09:15Me, you and Rachel
00:09:16Went to Canada
00:09:17And then we all got lost in Toronto
00:09:20Yeah, you would think that
00:09:21Someone from Toronto
00:09:23Would know their way around Toronto
00:09:24So
00:09:26Yeah
00:09:26Well
00:09:28But do you remember how
00:09:30When we were on the plane
00:09:31And like
00:09:32All of our phones died
00:09:33And so we just gave up
00:09:34And then we went
00:09:35And got sushi
00:09:36Dude
00:09:37Best sashimi ever
00:09:39I know
00:09:41I guess I just miss doing stuff like that
00:09:44Well I kinda feel like that's what we're doing
00:09:45You know
00:09:46Sitting out in the woods
00:09:48Looking for aliens
00:09:51Yeah
00:09:53You do be having a point
00:09:55Yeah
00:09:56Yeah that's what we're doing
00:09:58Yeah
00:10:01So what's next?
00:10:02You know
00:10:03I really haven't thought that far
00:10:06Well
00:10:07I'm just following your lead
00:10:10I'm probably gonna need to go back to work sometime though
00:10:12Oh I definitely am getting fired
00:10:14Yeah
00:10:15Fuck capitalism
00:10:16I don't wanna work for modern societies anyways
00:10:18I wanna live in the woods
00:10:19And scavenge for berries
00:10:23All right
00:10:25Well
00:10:28Why don't we go to Nashville
00:10:29Really?
00:10:31Yeah
00:10:31You brought it up
00:10:32I mean
00:10:33If we left right now
00:10:35We could probably get there by the night
00:10:38Bet
00:10:47But wait
00:10:47There is one more thing
00:10:49I want you to see
00:10:52Halloween
00:11:05What you doing nerd?
00:11:06Just journaling a little
00:11:08Hello
00:11:08Yeah me
00:11:10How was work?
00:11:13Oh it's good
00:11:14You know
00:11:14It's just work
00:11:16Oh
00:11:17Um
00:11:17My dad called me on my break
00:11:19Did you?
00:11:20Yeah
00:11:20He wants to see if we wanna go get dinner with him sometime this week
00:11:26I have no pain
00:11:27No pain?
00:11:28Good
00:11:31I think it'll be good
00:11:33We literally haven't seen him since
00:11:35Can you help us with enough?
00:11:37Yeah
00:11:38Can you help us with enough?
00:11:39Hmm
00:11:39Yeah
00:11:41You want coffee?
00:11:42Yeah
00:11:42Be good
00:11:46Will you get
00:11:49Here
00:11:50Take it
00:12:01How much?
00:12:16So the aliens come to earth?
00:12:20For this?
00:12:26and you you just put your stuff on the ground and the aliens will see it yeah so I mean
00:12:35you
00:12:35just you just bring your weird some shit um and then like aliens beam down and like
00:12:47appreciate it a lot I don't know that's what the lady at the desk said so it's called an alien
00:12:54junkyard
00:13:01yeah okay well what are you gonna put down
00:13:06way ahead of you
00:13:17you too that's what you're leaving yeah you don't think you should like leave some like a picture of
00:13:25you and Rachel no they don't want to see a couple of normies they want to see Aubrey
00:13:31Plaza in a questionable Christmas film okay what are you gonna leave I don't know
00:13:45what about that oh hell no I've had this thing for like eight years
00:13:50okay and that's what makes it perfect it's got your human juice memories all over it
00:14:06all right well the aliens better appreciate the fuck out of that that thing's been the staple of
00:14:10my wardrobe since like high school hey we're here to leave our old selves behind we're here to find
00:14:19who the new us is the new Parker okay well will you let me know when you figure that out
00:14:24probably not
00:14:31why you look so pretty
00:14:35can you help
00:14:36yeah
00:14:48I'm nervous
00:14:51why I feel like your dad hates me now what he's always liked you he's like the only family you
00:14:59have and I just
00:15:00don't know how much I love you he trusts I can make good decisions
00:15:23all right today's the day so do we have anything else on the agenda other than Nashville
00:15:30no just wherever we end up what is it with that Nashville anyway
00:15:35oh my parents always said that we would take a family trip there and we just never went
00:15:40so and it kind of stuck with me why we always went on a cruise or to Disney World I
00:15:48don't know
00:15:48I guess it was just never really important to them to go to Nashville but it was to you
00:15:53yeah I always thought of it kind of like a magical place you know but in a cool rustic cowboy
00:15:57way
00:15:58plus I always wanted to get one of those cute little guitar keychains
00:16:03my parents just always ship me off to my grandparents and they live in a really tiny town
00:16:08so I mean it was an adventure in its own you know just with a lot of cornfields and
00:16:12you know that's good restaurants
00:16:15see but I wish I had that
00:16:18you wish you never went on a cruise
00:16:20no not like that I mean like I wish my parents cared more about what I wanted
00:16:32you my friend need a reality check
00:16:36what do you mean
00:16:39so why did you break up with Ellie again
00:16:43like in high school
00:16:44yeah
00:16:46I didn't know what I wanted
00:16:48but now all of a sudden you know what you want
00:16:53I mean
00:16:53so let me get this straight
00:16:57you broke up with her
00:16:58because you didn't want to be with her
00:16:59but then you did want to be with her
00:17:01then two years later when she got upset
00:17:03because you didn't treat her the way you said you were going to treat her
00:17:07and now all of a sudden you went to bed
00:17:10you know it's not so cut and dry
00:17:13I'm just playing devil's advocate
00:17:14I was 17
00:17:16I thought I needed to drink all the time and smoke weed
00:17:19and just create this like tornado of emotion just to feel something
00:17:22you know
00:17:24there it is
00:17:25the contradiction
00:17:26the contradiction
00:17:28you love to sabotage yourself
00:17:30you have to have the main character energy
00:17:32and you have to have all the problems
00:17:34that's not true
00:17:35no
00:17:36that's kind of true
00:17:38she's important to me Fern
00:17:40I know she is
00:17:42if there's ever a chance in hell that you're going to get her back
00:17:46you've got to have better coping mechanisms
00:17:48you've got to learn
00:17:49you've got to grow
00:17:51they're not going to be good for her
00:17:53unless they're good for you
00:17:55no
00:17:58go on another drink
00:17:59I think I know
00:18:01I think I know
00:18:29hard
00:18:30hard
00:18:31you've never not liked Peter
00:18:32I wouldn't like me
00:18:37never
00:18:43why do you do that?
00:18:45do what?
00:18:47why do you need other people's validation?
00:18:51he's your dad
00:18:53Ellie
00:18:54that I love you
00:18:56can that not be enough?
00:19:03why can't you forgive yourself?
00:19:10because I always
00:19:15love a good job
00:19:18love a good job
00:19:19love a good job
00:19:23love a good job
00:19:24love a good job
00:19:30love a good job
00:19:38love a good job
00:19:38love a good job
00:19:38love a good job
00:19:38love a good job
00:19:38love a good job
00:19:39love a good job
00:20:40I'm going to puke.
00:20:47Are you ready for it?
00:20:51Why do I feel like I'm about to have a pulmonary embolism?
00:20:54You know, that is how I felt the first time I ever saw Brad Velvet's music video for Psycho.
00:21:02I'd make a bunny, my wife, and we'd rob this whole town.
00:21:08Maybe take all that money, get a boat and sail down, down.
00:21:15Where the blue, blue waters flow.
00:21:21Yes, this is a place I would go.
00:21:26We might get ourselves lost.
00:21:29We may never be found.
00:21:32If ever that day comes around.
00:21:46Dude, that sucked.
00:21:49I wasn't going to say anything unless you did.
00:21:51I don't know why I thought a city full of drunken tourists, vomit-filled streets, and cheapo guitar souvenirs would
00:21:59be so life-altering.
00:22:04It's almost like you build things up in your head to be bigger than they actually are.
00:22:09You have all these unrealistic expectations.
00:22:11I don't need a lecture.
00:22:18I just think life is about the little things.
00:22:22The stuff you didn't plan.
00:22:24No, you're right.
00:22:28I like these fries.
00:22:31I'm going to remember these fries.
00:22:34For the rest of my life.
00:22:39I have an idea.
00:22:42Okay.
00:22:43Follow me.
00:23:03Break into the pool.
00:23:05What?
00:23:06For the bucket list.
00:23:08I want to break into the pool at night.
00:23:12Okay.
00:23:23Cool.
00:23:25We should get started.
00:23:26Now.
00:23:27Now.
00:23:28You know it still hurts a little bit, but not that much.
00:23:33Because if you want somebody else, who am I to judge?
00:23:38I've been thinking about you all the time, but that's all right.
00:23:43I'm starting to get used to it.
00:23:45I'm starting to get used to it.
00:23:46I think I'll survive.
00:23:47I met you in the summer.
00:23:50When you left, it was cold.
00:23:52Said we loved one another.
00:23:55Guess that we're wrong.
00:23:56I met you in the summer.
00:23:59I met you in the summer.
00:24:00My love was out of control.
00:24:03I've been going crazy without you.
00:24:06I'm so alone.
00:24:07I met you in the...
00:24:17I met you in the summer.
00:24:19I met you in the summer.
00:24:20I met you in the summer.
00:24:28I met you in the summer.
00:24:30I met you in the summer.
00:24:31I met you in the summer.
00:24:33I met you in the summer.
00:24:35I met you in the summer.
00:24:38I'm just staring at my walls and talking to myself
00:24:41Now and then I'll try to laugh but I'll cry a bit as well
00:24:43I was never any good at being away from you
00:24:47I met you in the summer
00:24:49When you left it was cold
00:24:52Said we loved one another
00:24:54Guess that we were wrong
00:24:56I met you in the summer
00:24:59Our love was out of control
00:25:02I've been going crazy without you
00:25:05I'm so alone
00:25:06I met you in the summer
00:25:16I met you in the summer
00:25:38You know it still hurts a little bit
00:25:40But not that much
00:25:43Cause if you want somebody else
00:25:45Who am I to judge
00:26:09Time to shut it down
00:26:11Time to shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:13Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:14Shut it down
00:26:15Shut it down
00:26:15Shut it down
00:26:16Shut it down
00:26:17Shut it down
00:26:20Shut it down
00:26:22Shut it down
00:26:23Shut it down
00:26:23Shut it down
00:26:24Shut it down
00:26:30Shut it down
00:26:35Shut it down
00:27:05I love it, little boy.
00:27:09I know.
00:27:12So where did you learn how to learn English?
00:27:15My dad, actually, yeah, he taught me.
00:27:19But he only learned to impress my mom.
00:27:22Really?
00:27:22Mm-hmm.
00:27:23Tell me.
00:27:24How do you remember?
00:27:25There's a lot you don't know about me.
00:27:27Oh, yeah?
00:27:28Yeah.
00:27:28Tell me one thing I don't know about you.
00:27:30Oh, God.
00:27:35Okay, when I was a kid and I would catch fireflies,
00:27:41I would make wishes on them.
00:27:44Right?
00:27:45Mm-hmm.
00:27:46That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard.
00:27:49I mean, that was one good thing about my mom.
00:27:52I feel like she always had her head in the clouds and believed that life was made of magic.
00:28:01I feel like she really instilled that in me.
00:28:04Yeah, that does kind of sound like you.
00:28:07Ugh.
00:28:08I mean, yeah.
00:28:09I kind of hate it, though, because she was always wanting to live this, like, bigger-than-life
00:28:14reality, and one day she just decided that me and my dad were not part of that dream anymore.
00:28:22Yeah.
00:28:22It wasn't enough, so.
00:28:26I mean, you were just a kid.
00:28:30I don't think it had anything to do with you not being enough.
00:28:36Plus, your heart is nothing like hers, anyways.
00:28:42I just don't want to hurt someone, the way she hurt me, though.
00:28:50Plus, I feel like a five-year-old wanting to play pretend all the time is probably a lot
00:28:56to handle.
00:29:11Plus, you know what?
00:29:12I don't think she even wanted kids, anyway.
00:29:13All right.
00:29:14OK.
00:29:16OK.
00:29:53Where are we going?
00:29:55You'll see.
00:29:58Are you going to kill me?
00:30:01Allie, you're not supposed to know. Be quiet.
00:30:04Are you choosing a way by knife or another weapon?
00:30:07What would be more Villanelle of me?
00:30:10She'd probably have some really elaborate scheme and then corner me in an alleyway and parents or something.
00:30:16Mine would be better.
00:30:30This is sweet.
00:30:33You're sweet.
00:30:58Oh, so my friend Michaela is coming in from out of town next weekend and there's this party that I
00:31:03think we're going to go to.
00:31:06I thought we went out last weekend.
00:31:08I know, but I want to go like out, out.
00:31:12Just going out with me, just like knock out?
00:31:15You know I don't mean it like that.
00:31:19I guess I'll just stay home alone again.
00:31:40Parker!
00:31:44I have found the best use of our word for the most uncomfortable situation.
00:31:53I'm glad you asked.
00:31:56There I am in the woods, trying to take a fat piss and a fly goes right in my face.
00:32:04That's not the best part, because I didn't see it.
00:32:07I fell right back into my piss.
00:32:11It's not funny.
00:32:13It's kind of funny.
00:32:14It's kind of not funny.
00:32:14It's kind of very funny.
00:32:17Get in the car.
00:32:18Get in the car.
00:32:19Get in the car where we're going.
00:32:19Get in the car.
00:32:20Get in the car.
00:32:44All right, what?
00:32:50I got you something.
00:32:52What is that for?
00:32:56Just because?
00:33:13Ellie, I'm sorry.
00:33:15You're doing it.
00:33:17Doing what?
00:33:18You're pulling away.
00:33:21Ellie, no.
00:33:24It's not like that.
00:33:25You know, you promised me on New Year's that you wouldn't do this because of some confusion you have about
00:33:31yourself and what you want.
00:33:34Ellie, we just went on a picnic and to dinner with your dad.
00:33:42What, am I not allowed to have a few drinks after work? Leave the house? Am I not allowed to?
00:33:50No, you can leave the house. But when you came back to me, we promised that our relationship would not
00:33:57be like this anymore.
00:33:59That's not what's happening.
00:34:02And then what is happening?
00:34:04I don't know.
00:34:07I don't know.
00:34:08You never do.
00:34:09I'm okay.
00:34:10But I don't, I don't know, I don't want to know what living in a world without you is like.
00:34:16And I feel like I'm hurting you.
00:34:20And stop pulling away.
00:34:23It hurts me when you do that.
00:34:25We're happy with you.
00:34:27We're good.
00:34:28Yeah, we're good.
00:34:29We're good.
00:34:32And we're good.
00:35:20Can I get a cap?
00:35:24For the sixth time?
00:35:26No.
00:35:28Because they stink.
00:35:30They're stinky.
00:35:32You want to clean the litter box?
00:35:36Hold on.
00:35:37Oh my god.
00:35:37Hold on.
00:35:37I'm so late.
00:35:38Oh, that's probably Rachel.
00:35:45It's my mom.
00:35:51You sure this is a good idea?
00:35:54Don't be a fucking pussy.
00:35:55I'm not a fucking pussy.
00:35:58I'm gonna get caught.
00:36:17I'm gonna get caught.
00:36:26I'm gonna get caught.
00:36:29Go, go, go.
00:36:32Go, go, go.
00:36:32My butt.
00:36:34Go, go, go.
00:36:36What are we going to do now?
00:36:39We're already in our bathing suits.
00:36:41Want to go to the beach?
00:36:43What beach?
00:36:46Pinsicola?
00:36:47Yeah.
00:36:49I guess, yeah.
00:36:50Okay, cool.
00:36:50Okay, okay.
00:36:59Let's go.
00:37:01Let's go.
00:37:03Let's go.
00:37:05Let's go.
00:37:06Let's go.
00:37:07Without my love for the ocean,
00:37:11I would be long gone by now.
00:37:18It's some kind of devotion
00:37:22that brings me down.
00:37:30That without my love for the ocean,
00:37:35I would be no one.
00:37:41No one.
00:37:43No one.
00:37:44No one.
00:37:46No one.
00:37:50No one.
00:37:52No one.
00:37:54...
00:37:59Elle?
00:38:01Ellie, what's wrong?
00:38:04Oh.
00:38:13I got there and he was fine.
00:38:18I'm so sorry.
00:38:23My mom was there and she was acting like it was the end of her world.
00:38:28Like she never left.
00:38:30Like she even cared.
00:38:32Ever.
00:38:36I know.
00:38:37It's so complex.
00:38:40She didn't deserve to see him at all.
00:38:45I deserve to see him.
00:38:47Elle.
00:38:48Don't tell me.
00:38:50She's your mom.
00:38:52I don't care.
00:38:55Elle.
00:38:58What can I do?
00:39:01Nothing.
00:39:03Oh.
00:39:06He's my dad.
00:39:08He was the only one that was ever there for me.
00:39:10He was the only one who never left.
00:39:14I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to even do now.
00:39:17I'm so sorry.
00:39:19I'm so sorry.
00:39:21Don't be.
00:39:23Okay, but like.
00:39:25I'm here.
00:39:27Whatever you need.
00:39:34Are you?
00:39:38What does that even mean?
00:39:40I'm sorry Parker.
00:39:42I just.
00:39:42I just don't know how to process it.
00:39:47I get it.
00:39:50Nobody should be projecting that onto you.
00:39:52I shouldn't be doing that.
00:39:53I'm sorry.
00:39:55I kind of deserve it.
00:39:57No you don't.
00:39:58Ellie.
00:40:00Let's be honest.
00:40:02I'm not the most reliable person that's in your life.
00:40:10I feel like I wreak havoc on you, your life, your stability.
00:40:21I feel like I leave you constantly wondering when the next time I'm going to have a big breakdown.
00:40:36This isn't about me.
00:40:38This is about you.
00:40:42You just lost your dad.
00:40:48I just can't believe this guy.
00:40:56He was so good last time this time.
00:41:24We'll be back soon.
00:41:26I don't know, but I still miss her.
00:41:30Yeah, I feel that.
00:41:35Who do you miss?
00:41:37Your mom.
00:41:40Yeah, I bet you do miss my mom.
00:41:42No, really, I do.
00:41:45You know, reiterate, let's just go back. Why are we here again?
00:41:51Like, on the trip?
00:41:52Yeah, yeah, on this trip.
00:41:54Because we wanted to do something exciting.
00:42:03Get away.
00:42:05Something to distract ourselves from this mundane capitalist environment.
00:42:16And...
00:42:18And...
00:42:19I'm trying to get over Ellie.
00:42:23Thing, thing, thing, thing, we have the winner.
00:42:27One moment, please.
00:42:32Blind as a bat.
00:42:33Alright.
00:42:34So, I'm gonna role play as your therapist, Gigi.
00:42:38Not to be confused with Gigi from the L word, but in Gigi forever.
00:42:42So, first question, why do you think it is so hard for you to let go?
00:42:49What keeps you holding on?
00:42:53She's the love of my life.
00:42:56And why do you think that?
00:42:59Because I always go back to her.
00:43:02I mean...
00:43:04Time and time again.
00:43:10Do you think it is so hard.
00:43:11Do you not think that maybe you're just comfortable in the environment you created with her?
00:43:16Like, do you really think that, like, out of 7 billion people in this whole world, there's not one other
00:43:23person that you might love?
00:43:25Not like Ellie.
00:43:31A rollercoaster of emotion is not love.
00:43:36It was love.
00:43:40The purest love I think I've ever experienced.
00:43:43And...
00:43:45Well...
00:43:46Sometimes love isn't a nothing.
00:43:49Not to be healthy at least.
00:43:51Why can't I just make it fucking work?
00:43:54Like, I feel like Taylor Swift.
00:43:56I miss screaming, fighting, kissing in the rain.
00:44:00I don't want to be boring and comfortable.
00:44:04I understand that it must be really hard to even think and fathom that there might just...
00:44:12be a life after Ellie.
00:44:16But...
00:44:16Life is bendable.
00:44:18It's changeable.
00:44:19Like, you...
00:44:21We are meant to heal.
00:44:23You could finally love someone the way that you deserve to.
00:44:32I just wanted it to be her.
00:44:34I know it's her.
00:44:37She's my person.
00:44:42I hope you're right.
00:44:47Okay, so, um, Missy just called me and I need to get to the theater home.
00:44:52Because she doesn't fucking know how to do anything herself, so...
00:44:55I have to get ready when I get there.
00:44:58So, can you just, like...
00:45:00Can you just need me to get in there?
00:45:01Yeah.
00:45:02Go on.
00:45:04I love you.
00:45:05Mmm.
00:45:26Wow.
00:45:28I love it when Ellie drinks all my oat milk.
00:45:57I love it when Ellie drinks all my oat milk.
00:45:59They turned our homes into ashes, we fled out the back door, we ran towards the city
00:46:07alone.
00:46:07Fuck!
00:46:17Hello?
00:46:19Ellie?
00:46:20Yeah, what's wrong?
00:46:22My fucking tire popped.
00:46:23I had to pull off the side of the freeway into some random parking lot.
00:46:27What do you mean?
00:46:29I mean it's completely deflated.
00:46:33You had to go get milk?
00:46:35Yeah, I just needed the distraction.
00:46:38Have you caught a tow truck?
00:46:41I can call one, but odds are it'll probably take a few hours.
00:46:45The funeral's in an hour, Parker.
00:46:47I know, I could try calling Fern, see if he can-
00:46:49I have to go, just get here.
00:46:54Son of a bitch.
00:47:08Ellie, I am so sorry.
00:47:10I went to the sorority and milk for the coffee.
00:47:12And then I was going to go straight to the funeral home.
00:47:14But then my tower popped and I called the tow truck company.
00:47:17But they said that they couldn't be there until 1.30 and I didn't know what else to do.
00:47:22I didn't do it on purpose.
00:47:26You missed my dad's funeral.
00:47:30I know, and I'm so sorry.
00:47:33But it's not my fault.
00:47:37Why didn't you think to just stay home?
00:47:41Alright.
00:47:43Do you ever think about what's going on around you?
00:47:48Ellie.
00:47:49This isn't your fucking world, Parker.
00:47:52Do you ever think, hey, maybe I should just stay home?
00:47:55Because Ellie's dad just died.
00:47:57My tire would've popped on the way to the funeral anyways.
00:48:00That's very convenient.
00:48:02Oh, do not pin this on me.
00:48:04I wanted to be there for you.
00:48:06And then you're a lot of talk.
00:48:07What the fuck is your problem?
00:48:10My problem?
00:48:12Parker, you need to figure out if I am good enough for you.
00:48:16If you ever care to give me a scrap of attention.
00:48:19All I do is give you my attention.
00:48:23All you do is worry about her.
00:48:30Oh, fuck that, Ellie.
00:48:32Would your mom do this?
00:48:45What is that?
00:48:46It's a stupid scrapbook that I made for our one year anniversary after getting back together.
00:48:51But it doesn't even fucking matter anymore now, does it?
00:48:54Because I'm so unpredictable, just like your mom.
00:48:59No.
00:49:00No.
00:49:01No, actually you're really predictable.
00:49:03We always end because you always live.
00:49:10Ellie.
00:49:13Ellie!
00:49:19Ellie, don't go!
00:49:20No.
00:49:21I have to.
00:49:23I'm gonna go to my dad's beach house in Pennsylvania.
00:49:27You can't leave me like this.
00:49:29You always left me like this, Parker.
00:49:33You're the love of my life.
00:49:38This isn't about us anymore.
00:49:40I need to find me.
00:49:42I need to find who Ellie is again.
00:49:44It's not you.
00:49:45It's me, right?
00:49:46It's you too!
00:49:47You desperately need to grow and find who you want to be and who Parker is.
00:49:53I don't think there can be an us anymore.
00:49:57I don't want to be here without you.
00:50:00I can't ruin myself for you anymore.
00:50:04And you can't either.
00:50:12I don't want you to go.
00:50:15I know.
00:50:17I can't.
00:50:19I can't.
00:50:36Fern!
00:50:40Fern.
00:50:43Yeah, you can be there by 7. I mean, you know it's going to be late anyways.
00:50:46I mean, that's how it usually goes.
00:50:49Yeah.
00:50:53Parker just woke up.
00:50:55Hey, I'll see you when I see you.
00:50:57Okay. Love you. Bye.
00:51:01Hey. What are you doing?
00:51:06Rachel's going to pick me up from the airport.
00:51:08What? Why? Something wrong?
00:51:13Nothing. I'm just not stupid.
00:51:16I'm confused.
00:51:19Why are we in Pensacola?
00:51:22Because we wanted to go to the beach.
00:51:27Why are we in Pensacola, Parker?
00:51:34Look, Fern, I was going to tell you...
00:51:36Yeah, I know where Ellie lives.
00:51:39I really tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you are just the same old Parker.
00:51:49Those...
00:51:49Those weren't my intentions.
00:51:52So you didn't mean to take me on a trip that I thought was us bonding and having all these
00:52:01crazy, awesome life experiences together only so that you can just weasel your way in to go see Ellie.
00:52:07That's not what happened.
00:52:14Well, I'm glad I could be a pawn in your game.
00:52:17So, cool.
00:52:18I mean, I wanted to see Ellie, but it became something more along the way.
00:52:27Halfway through, I even forgot why I started the trip.
00:52:32Parker, you are my best friend.
00:52:35But for the love of God, you are so manipulative.
00:52:40Anything you want, you get.
00:52:44Come on.
00:52:45Don't ruin the trip.
00:52:49You already ruined it.
00:52:51I'm sorry.
00:52:52I needed to see her.
00:52:54I needed to win her back.
00:52:57You are so worried about making sure everybody loves you that you end up treating the people who actually do
00:53:06love you like shit.
00:53:09I'm just confused, Fern.
00:53:13I can't do anything right.
00:53:15No one said you had to have it all figured out.
00:53:18But you just dragged everyone into your shit.
00:53:22You know what?
00:53:24You can call me when you've decided to be the Parker that I know you are.
00:53:30I won't be waiting for the call, though.
00:53:58I won't be here.
00:54:00I won't be hoping for the Parker.
00:54:01I won't be waiting for him to be able to finish them.
00:54:01I love you, too.
00:54:23Hi!
00:54:31So, how are you?
00:54:33What are you doing in Pensacola?
00:54:36Oh, I'm good.
00:54:38I was just passing through the area.
00:54:40I figured I'd shoot you a message.
00:54:41I remember that you said that you were going to your dad's beach house in Pensacola.
00:54:45So, I thought it was worth a shot.
00:54:49Oh, yeah.
00:54:50I mean, moving here is probably one of the best decisions I've made in a long time.
00:54:54I can imagine.
00:54:56Probably much better than home.
00:54:59I was home.
00:55:00Uh, humid. Kind of boring. The usual.
00:55:04I miss it a little.
00:55:08Well, you know, if you're ever in town, you can stay with me.
00:55:13Thanks, Park.
00:55:14Yeah.
00:55:16It's probably not a good idea, but I appreciate the offer.
00:55:20Yeah, I mean, I just, I figured I'd at least offer.
00:55:24How's Fern?
00:55:25She's good.
00:55:27Um, yeah, she's good.
00:55:29Rachel?
00:55:29She's good, too.
00:55:31Uh, they actually just got engaged and then bought a house.
00:55:34But, I'm sure you already knew about all that.
00:55:36I do still talk to Rachel sometimes.
00:55:39That's good.
00:55:40Do you guys ever talk about me?
00:55:42No, definitely not.
00:55:46Well, I mean, that's good.
00:55:48Our ending shouldn't mean, you know, an ending for you guys, too.
00:55:51It doesn't.
00:55:56So, there's this music shop I saw, um, over off of the pier.
00:56:00Figured if you don't have any plans later, maybe we could swing by.
00:56:05Um, I, I'm getting dinner with my friends tonight, actually.
00:56:09Mm-hmm.
00:56:10Well, I mean, that's okay.
00:56:12It was last minute anyways.
00:56:13But, where are you guys going?
00:56:15Just this little Italian restaurant downtown.
00:56:17We, we go like every Friday, so.
00:56:21Yeah.
00:56:28Why am I here?
00:56:33I just, I needed to see you.
00:56:38It's, it's been years.
00:56:40What do you need to see me for?
00:56:42I just still don't understand why things ended, you know?
00:56:45Like, you're my person.
00:56:47And I can't, I just can't stop thinking about the night you left.
00:56:53I'm not your person, Park.
00:56:56Not anymore, at least.
00:56:58But, you said it yourself.
00:57:00We're soulmates.
00:57:02You said soulmates have to be forever, Park.
00:57:05Because then, what's the point?
00:57:07The point is that we taught each other lessons and how to love and treat someone with dignity and live
00:57:15up to your words, you know?
00:57:17I just, I know.
00:57:20You're the person I'm gonna end up with.
00:57:27Maybe in another universe, we work together forever, but I just don't think we're living in that universe anymore.
00:57:38Why is it so hard for me to get over you, but for you it's so easy?
00:57:43It wasn't easy.
00:57:45I spent months mourning you and I and the person I was when I was with you.
00:57:52And trying to figure out how I was gonna live life without you in it.
00:57:57And I lost my best friend.
00:58:00And, you know, part of me hoped that we would cross paths again and just fall into each other's arms
00:58:06and everything would be like it used to, but that's just not life.
00:58:11Who said?
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:13Parker.
00:58:15Why can't we just have like a fairy-tale ending where we always end up together.
00:58:20Because this this isn't a movie.
00:58:22You know, we're real people, this is real life and I just don't think we can exist together without hurting
00:58:29each other over and over and over again.
00:58:34God, I must sound insane.
00:58:38No, I just don't think you take it well when things don't go your way.
00:58:47I love you.
00:58:52I think I should go.
00:58:54I'm sorry.
00:58:57No, it's fine. I just, you know, I wish you the best pleasure.
00:59:01I wish you the best pleasure.
00:59:11I'm sorry.
00:59:14Please, don't leave.
00:59:16Parker, it's time to move on.
00:59:19You have a whole life ahead of you that does not involve me.
00:59:23A life that's beautiful and flawless.
00:59:27You and I were a mess of memories, and I cherish all of them.
00:59:34But you will always be one of my favorite loves, okay?
00:59:47I'm sorry.
00:59:48It doesn't change anything.
00:59:48I'm sorry.
00:59:49I have me, I'm sorry.
00:59:53I've never been so loud.
01:00:00I'mand I'm not.
01:00:33This is for you.
01:00:34Nothing.
01:00:54This is for you.
01:01:25This is for you.
01:01:56This is for you.
01:02:29This is for you.
01:02:32This is for you.
01:03:28This is for you.
01:03:41This is for you.
01:04:10This is for you.