A powerful full drama movie filled with love, secrets, and unexpected twists.
Follow a powerful story where relationships are tested, hidden truths are revealed, and lives change forever. From romantic moments to shocking surprises, this drama keeps you engaged from beginning to end.
Featuring stories about CEO, billionaire lifestyles, family connections, and life-changing decisions, this movie delivers strong love and unforgettable scenes.
Watch the full movie and discover what happens in the end.
New full drama movies uploaded regularly. Stay tuned for more captivating and trending stories.
#drama #fullmovie #lovestory #dramatic #billionaire #ceo #family #relationships #movie #story
Follow a powerful story where relationships are tested, hidden truths are revealed, and lives change forever. From romantic moments to shocking surprises, this drama keeps you engaged from beginning to end.
Featuring stories about CEO, billionaire lifestyles, family connections, and life-changing decisions, this movie delivers strong love and unforgettable scenes.
Watch the full movie and discover what happens in the end.
New full drama movies uploaded regularly. Stay tuned for more captivating and trending stories.
#drama #fullmovie #lovestory #dramatic #billionaire #ceo #family #relationships #movie #story
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AmusantTranscription
00:00My childhood sweetheart is a superstar
00:02And I'm his personal assistant
00:03Adrian is a musical genius, a megastar
00:06He has a pair of heartless eyes
00:08And as a matter of fact, he has never once been abstinent
00:11But right now, his eyes are red-rimmed
00:13He's fighting the favor in the air and smashing things
00:16Which bastard drugged me?
00:18The living room of the 5 star suite is a wreck around him
00:20His manager is pressing his fingers to his forehead
00:23Adrian, calm down
00:24Adrian's hands are shaking
00:25He glares at his manager
00:27Normally, this would be easy to solve
00:28Plenty of minor stars and models are waiting
00:30For exactly this chance to get close to Adrian
00:33But tonight, countless fans are camped outside the hotel
00:36There's no way to smuggle anyone in without the whole world seeing
00:40Neither of them has any idea what to do
00:42Then all at once, Adrian fixes his complicated stare on me
00:45I'm sitting on the sofa
00:46But I feel like I'm in a forest with a hunter's sights on me
00:49Adrian controls his ragged breathing
00:51And says to his manager as evenly as he can
00:54Get out
00:54My fist tightens on my knee
00:56His manager Lucas turns to look at me in horror
00:59Then back at Adrian, panting hard
01:01He steps between us
01:02Adrian, no
01:03You can't
01:04Get out
01:04Adrian, calm down
01:06She's your friend
01:07Friend
01:07I press my lips together at the word
01:09My parents work for the Blackwood Family Company
01:11We grew up together
01:12Him, a genius
01:14And the son of billionaires
01:15Me, not so much his friend as his servant
01:18Adrian probably thinks so too
01:20He doesn't bother arguing with Lucas
01:21He just stares at me with those deep eyes and waits
01:24Something sour spreads through my chest
01:27Lucas knows I've never had to suffer anything in my life
01:30I've spent it all trailing after Adrian
01:32Even my job after graduation is being Adrian's personal assistant
01:35Because nobody knows his habits the way I do
01:38And now I have to solve this problem for him too
01:40The one in his bed
01:41I close my eyes and say slowly
01:43I will
01:44One corner of Adrian's mouth lifts
01:46He looks at Lucas with the eyes of a winner
01:48Not out yet
01:49Lucas's voice fails him
01:50I avoid his eyes
01:51I don't want to see the contempt in them
01:53Or the confusion
01:54The moment the door clicks shut
01:55Adrian seizes my wrist
01:57Walks me quickly across the room
01:58And throws me onto the bed
01:59His breath comes fast
02:01A red haze of want floods those heartless eyes
02:03And only now do I get scared
02:04I push against him, frightened
02:06My heart is hammering so hard it's about to leave my ribs
02:08W-wait
02:10Adrian, I've never
02:11Then he lifts his eyes and says light as air
02:14I know
02:15You grew up at my side
02:17I know better than anyone how clean you are
02:19My heart sinks
02:21So it's only my cleanliness he wants
02:23Whatever bittersweet thing had started to bloom in me is gone
02:26Only the bitter part is left
02:27I've been in love with him in secret this whole time
02:30So when he looked at me like that
02:31Some small part of me actually hoped
02:33And now I want to slap myself
02:35When I wake up my eyes hurt
02:36My lids are swollen and heavy over my vision
02:39And the whole world looks tired
02:41Adrian isn't beside me
02:42I push myself up and sit staring at the dent
02:45His head left in the other pillow
02:46It takes me a while to come back to myself
02:48I pick up my phone and read the messages
02:51Lucas says they've gone to the west coast for the tour schedule
02:53And that Adrian, worried about me, has given me time off so I can go home and rest
02:58The worrying about me part is definitely Lucas's addition
03:01I laugh, a short, flat sound
03:03Is Adrian feeling guilty or is he genuinely being considerate?
03:07Another message pops up
03:09There's $500,000 in my bank account
03:11I smile
03:12This is what Adrian's consideration looks like
03:15I take the vacation and the money without pretending otherwise
03:18It's not like there's anything else I'm allowed to want
03:21Adrian has been spoiled rotten since the day he was born
03:23He's impossible about everything he eats and everywhere he sleeps
03:26Then one night Lucas calls me
03:28His voice is full of exhaustion and hesitation
03:30Adrian wants you to pick him up at the airport
03:32He won't get into the car we booked
03:34Did you forget the incense in the car?
03:36Lucas pauses
03:37I go on
03:37Just go buy a siren brand cedar incense and light it
03:40The gift shop at the airport has it
03:42Lucas makes a strangled on the other end of the line
03:45Tell her to come
03:46What, she doesn't come when she's called now?
03:48Lucas says helplessly
03:49You heard him
03:50I don't say anything else
03:51I pack, call a driver and head for the airport
03:53On the way I stop for a hot honey lemon tea
03:56By the time I reach the underground garage I can see him from far off
04:00Sunglasses, a halo of don't come near me fury, thin lips pressed into a line
04:04I think, this is bad
04:05Hold out the hot honey lemon tea
04:08It's hot
04:08Adrian stands at the door with his arms crossed
04:11He's tall, he blocks the garage light entirely and I feel caged in his shadow
04:15His eyebrows shift behind the sunglasses
04:17He makes a dismissive sound and gets in
04:19He doesn't take the tea
04:20Reading the situation, I lifted the lid and handed the cup to him
04:23Adrian seems to be in a better mood
04:25His mouth loosens
04:26He sips, unhurried
04:27When Adrian travels, he brings several enormous cases
04:30Everyone else is outside loading the car
04:32Only the two of us are inside
04:34Can't afford your phone bill?
04:35Adrian speaks out of nowhere
04:36Are you dead?
04:38Not one word from you?
04:39Scolded out of nowhere, I freeze and answer on instinct
04:42I'm sorry
04:43He seems thrown by how blank I look
04:45We're very close just then and our eyes meet
04:48And it's obvious we're both thinking about the same thing
04:50The thing that kept us from speaking
04:52He looks away
04:53We fall back into an awkward silence
04:55Thankfully Lucas and the junior assistant get in
04:57Ellie!
04:59How come I haven't seen you these past few days?
05:01The air goes strange and silent
05:02The smile I put on freezes halfway
05:04Kit wasn't at the hotel that night
05:06He has no idea what happened
05:08Thankfully Lucas is in the front seat
05:09He slams the door shut with a bang and snaps at Kit
05:12None of your business
05:13He turns back and catches my red face
05:15He shuts up but his lips stay tight and his eyes go complicated
05:18Like he wants to say something to me
05:20We get into the elevator
05:21Adrian stands at the very back leaning against the wall
05:25I'm in front but I feel cold all over
05:27Somehow I'm certain Adrian is watching me
05:29There's a heat hidden inside that dangerous stare
05:31And it makes me unable to stand still
05:33I just want to get out
05:34Adrian and I live in the same building
05:36I'm on the 15th floor
05:37He's on the top
05:38He bought the place
05:39A kindness to the person he grew up with
05:41Adrian has always been generous like that
05:42Lucas is his college classmate
05:44Kit is the guy who gave him directions once
05:46When he got lost on a trip
05:47He isn't just a genius
05:48He's someone who can control everything and arrange everyone
05:51The elevator reaches 15
05:53I get out and when I turn back I see him
05:55All in black, tall and slender
05:57Leaning at the very back like a reaper
05:59Lying in wait in the dark
06:00Dangerous
06:01Something that makes you shake
06:02He looks at me through his sunglasses and says nothing
06:05As the doors close I hear Kit say
06:07Adrian, I'm going to pick up that model
06:10A muffled sound?
06:11The doors shut
06:12I'm still standing there
06:13My chest feels packed full of heavy air
06:15I can't speak around it
06:16Now I finally understand what Lucas' look meant
06:18It was pity
06:19The kind of look that says
06:21Why are you being this stupid?
06:22How could one night make Adrian feel anything different about me?
06:25He's out every night, every night
06:27That one night might have embarrassed him a little
06:29But it wouldn't make him feel anything
06:30To him, I'm not even his first choice
06:32Not compared to a model, I was just what he had to do in an emergency
06:36Adrian watches the model writhing on the bed with no expression at all
06:40She's pretty and seductive
06:41He can't work up a shred of interest
06:44He watches indifferent as her excellent body wraps itself around him
06:48For days now, the burning thirst in him hasn't eased at all
06:51If anything, it's gotten worse for no reason he can name
06:54He throws her off
06:55Her face crumples into hurt and fear
06:57Adrian doesn't see it
06:59He picks up his phone and walks out of the bedroom
07:01You should go
07:02He sits in the living room
07:03Turning a lighter over and over in his fingers
07:05After a while, he stares at the black screen of his phone
07:08Then types a message
07:09Come on
07:10When I get it, I'm under the covers, scrolling aimlessly
07:13It's already 1 in the morning
07:14I can't sleep for thinking about everything upstairs
07:17Then a message pops up
07:18I stare at it and my feelings tangle
07:20This isn't the first time Adrian has texted me at 1 in the morning
07:23When he's hungry at night and doesn't want to order delivery
07:26He texts me, so I'll go make him a late night snack
07:28But tonight he was doing that with a woman and he still texted me
07:31Humiliation and hurt rise up in my chest and turn into anger
07:34My hand hovers over the block button
07:36I can't make myself press it
07:38Then another message
07:39I know you're awake, don't pretend you can't see
07:41Don't make me come down there, I don't answer
07:43Less than 10 minutes later, I hear the keypad lock on my front door being unlocked
07:46I switch off my phone and the lamp at once
07:49The room falls dark and I pretend I'm really asleep and missed it all
07:52Ignoring what Adrian wants is the greatest rebellion I have in me
07:55The footsteps come closer until the bedroom door opens
07:58I hold my body still and do my best impression of sleep
08:01No sound comes from behind me
08:02I can't guess what he's doing or thinking
08:04Does he believe I'm asleep?
08:06The mattress suddenly sinks, my body goes tight
08:08Warm breath spills across the shell of my ear along with a laugh through gritted teeth
08:13Eleanor, you've learned to fake sleep
08:16My breath stops, I grit my teeth and keep pretending
08:18Adrian has no intention of leaving
08:20A faint breath grazes my lashes there and not there
08:24Fabric rustles behind me
08:25I let out a silent breath
08:27He's finally letting me be
08:28Then the blanket is lifted
08:30And my back meets something warm
08:31Every hair on my body stands up
08:33But I don't dare make a sound
08:35My fingers clutch a corner of the pillow in front of me
08:37Adrian's palm travels along my waist
08:40Then his arm clamps hard around me
08:41His words come out wet and hot
08:43Eleanor, I want you
08:45I'm pressed against a warm body
08:48And I feel like I've fallen into ice
08:49The image of Adrian with the model flashes through my mind
08:52The anger that had settled comes roaring back
08:55Burns into a fireball
08:57Burns through every thought I have
08:58Burns a huge hole through me
09:00I shove Adrian off with everything I have and sit up
09:03Panting, glaring at him
09:05Adrian is startled
09:06He turns on the light, sees my blood red eyes and frowns
09:09What the hell is wrong with you?
09:11Do that with your little model! Don't come to me!
09:13Adrian's eyes darken
09:14You don't want to?
09:15I don't want to
09:16Why?
09:17I laugh, a short ugly sound
09:19Did you shower after you finished with the other woman?
09:22Before coming to me?
09:23He grabs my arm
09:24You think I'm dirty?
09:25Yes!
09:26I think you're filthy
09:28Adrian's face goes red, then pale, then red again
09:31It's probably the first time in his life anyone has found him disgusting
09:34Even his forehead is flushed with blood
09:36His eyes are shot with red
09:37He glares at me with everything he has
09:39I have no idea how he'll react
09:41Adrian moves and I shrink into the corner at once
09:44But he only slams the door on his way out
09:46Unfortunately, we had a fight
09:48And the next day, I still have to keep working for my boss
09:51I brace myself for Adrian to pick at everything I do
09:54To my surprise, he doesn't give me a hard time
09:56He doesn't say a word to me at all
09:58Lucas throws me a questioning look
09:59I don't answer it
10:00A month goes by
10:01I travel with Adrian the whole time
10:03We're together nearly every day
10:04And we don't exchange a single sentence
10:06His expression gets worse and worse
10:08Sitting near him, there's always a pressure that makes it hard to breathe
10:11His outbursts have multiplied to the point where Lucas and Kit can bury
10:14I barely take it
10:15He's like a bottle of soda shaken full
10:16Ready to go off at any moment
10:18His schedule is brutal
10:19It's nearly 11 at night by the time we reach the booked hotel
10:22I'm exhausted
10:23I slept beautifully on the plane and in the car
10:25When I wake up, I hazily see Adrian saying something to Lucas
10:28Lucas looks hesitant, glances at me, and walks off to the front desk
10:32We get out and follow them in
10:34In the elevator, Lucas hands out the key cards
10:36I don't get one
10:37I ask, bewildered
10:38Mine?
10:39Lucas looks at Adrian and says nothing
10:41Adrian says offhand
10:42You're sleeping in my room
10:43I jolt
10:44Kit's face goes slack with shock
10:46I want my own room
10:47I didn't book you one
10:48I start pressing the button for the first floor
10:50Then I'll book one myself
10:51Adrian grabs my wrist and yells
10:53Are you finished, Eleanor?
10:55Where would you even get the money?
10:57Every dollar you have came from me
10:58His shout fills the little elevator
11:00Kit doesn't even dare breathe
11:02I don't dare look at the other two
11:03Adrian has me and he knows it
11:05Tears gather in my eyes
11:06Being humiliated in front of them makes my head ring
11:09Everything I have comes from him
11:10So I have no right to decide anything for myself
11:13Seeing it, Adrian's temper eases
11:15He doesn't let go of my wrist
11:16He drags me all the way to the room
11:18The moment where inside he pins me against the door
11:21His breath and heat urgent against my neck
11:23My mind scatters
11:24Everything around me seems cut off from my awareness
11:27I only hear Adrian saying something at my ear
11:29I'm not really listening
11:30So I don't hear him say
11:32I haven't touched anyone for a month
11:33For you
11:34Don't tell me I'm dirty
11:35When I wake up wrecked and tired
11:37I'm surprised Adrian is still there
11:39He's holding me tight
11:40His hot lips against my neck
11:42I remember I have to arrange his breakfast today
11:44And try to drag myself up
11:45A force pushes me back down
11:47What are you doing?
11:48Work
11:48Adrian props himself up
11:49And leaves a kiss on my temple
11:51He's in a good mood
11:52You're off today
11:52The warmth of the kiss is gone in an instant
11:55I don't even get the chance to work out what it meant
11:57Adrian opens the suite door
11:58Another door opens
11:59His makeup artist probably
12:01She sees how good his mood is
12:02And lets out a relieved breath
12:04Hunting for something to say
12:05Didn't see Ellie today
12:06Kit and Lucas carrying breakfast over
12:08Both freeze
12:09They glance at the closed bedroom door and say nothing
12:12As if it's a forbidden topic
12:13But Adrian's mouth curves up
12:15She's sleeping
12:15She's tired
12:17The makeup artist assumes she just gave me a day off
12:19And doesn't think twice
12:20Kit's hand slips
12:21A bit of juice from the tray splashes onto Adrian's bathrobe
12:24Kit looks at him in terror
12:25But Adrian is completely unlike himself
12:28He doesn't care
12:29Kit exhales
12:29Adrian has been terrifying for weeks
12:31Once his hair and makeup are done
12:33Adrian pauses at the door
12:34Wait
12:35He turns and goes back into the bedroom
12:37I barely slept last night
12:38And since it's my day off
12:39I'm shamelessly catching up
12:41Someone wakes me and I scowl
12:42A warm touch lands on the space between my brows
12:44I open my eyes
12:45Adrian's cold, handsome face is right there
12:48And my heart jumps like a traitor
12:49He's using a gentle tone for once
12:51Wait for me in the room until I'm back
12:53I nod without thinking
12:54Adrian smiles and walks out
12:55The makeup artist catches on and asks Lucas quietly
12:58Which big star is in there?
13:00Lucas shakes his head
13:01A singer then?
13:02Is it Vivian?
13:03So the rumors are true?
13:04Adrian looks so tender
13:06I'm swuming
13:07She gets more excited as she talks
13:09Lucas doesn't know what to say
13:10The rumor is only half true
13:12And today it isn't that half
13:13He rubs his forehead and keeps quiet
13:15After I get up
13:16I take my time getting ready
13:18And sit at the window to watch Adrian's livestream
13:20Adrian sings on stage
13:21And in every close up
13:22He's effortless, cool, natural
13:24Every song since his debut is his own composition
13:27Every one of them goes to number one
13:28He's been a genius since he was small
13:30The first time I saw him
13:32He was sitting at a piano
13:33Those little fingers moving nimbly
13:35An eerie sort of harmony
13:36I was captivated by him at first sight
13:38And became his shadow
13:39All these years later
13:40Watching Adrian sing still shakes something in me
13:43I smile
13:43After he finishes
13:44I stop smiling
13:45I close my phone
13:46I don't wanna see who comes on next
13:48Next is Vivian
13:49She debuted in a girl group
13:50She looks sweet like a first love
13:52So she's still hugely popular after going solo
13:54She's also Adrian's rumored girlfriend
13:56But I know Adrian isn't the type to ever really give his heart
13:59From childhood he could win anyone's affection without effort
14:01So it isn't something he values
14:03At most they're bed mates who meet on a schedule
14:06And then I freeze
14:07I'm looking down on their relationship like that
14:09But the truth is I'm not even equal to Vivian
14:12Bed mates choose each other
14:13I have no choice at all
14:14I laugh out loud at myself
14:16After events like this the singers usually go out
14:18I know Adrian won't be back for a while
14:20I sit by the window and stare at the sun going down
14:23My reflection slowly surfaces in the floor to ceiling glass
14:26Then there's a knock at the door
14:27I freeze, check my watch
14:29It's only 7
14:30Adrian didn't go to the club?
14:32I open the door and there's a person in full disguise
14:34Mask, hat, sunglasses
14:36But the small face and lovely figure make it obvious
14:39A beautiful woman
14:40Vivian isn't surprised to see me
14:42She walks in with the familiarity of a regular and takes off her costume
14:46She sits on the sofa and picks up the mineral water
14:48I set out for Adrian as if it's hers
14:50Ellie, you're here?
14:52She knows I'm Adrian's personal assistant
14:53So she isn't surprised to find me in his room
14:55I nod
14:56I'm waiting here for Adrian
14:57I understand
14:58She's telling me she has a date with Adrian tonight
15:00She's showing me out
15:01My fingertips dig into my palm
15:03Adrian knows I'm in the room
15:04And he still told Vivian to come up
15:07The message is very clear
15:08I press my lips together and turn to leave
15:10Ellie, the room's too hot
15:11Can you turn the AC down?
15:13And could you book me a room at this hotel?
15:15I'm afraid the fans will ambush me if I go out
15:17She knows I'm Adrian's assistant
15:19So she's made me hers naturally
15:20I don't answer
15:21I just walk out
15:22Adrian takes the cinnamon rolls from Lucas
15:24Isn't this too few to bring to a party?
15:26I'm not going
15:27We're going back to the hotel
15:28They're for Eleanor
15:29Then he raises an eyebrow
15:30And that confidence rises in him
15:32The certainty that his occasional thoughtfulness
15:34Will move Eleanor?
15:35Of course it will
15:36Lucas opens his mouth
15:38Then closes it
15:39At the hotel
15:40Adrian opens the hotel door in a fine mood
15:43His voice unable to hide the lift in it
15:45Eleanor
15:45A figure pops up
15:47Adrian
15:47Adrian sees Vivian in the room
15:49And his face drops
15:50Who told you to come?
15:52Vivian wriggles entirely unbothered by his tone
15:54Oh come on
15:56I missed you
15:57She presses up against his chest
15:58Adrian frowns and pushes her off
16:00And shoves the suite door open with a dark look
16:03It's empty
16:03Vivian pushed off is stunned
16:05Where's Eleanor?
16:07I told her to leave
16:08Adrian raises an eyebrow
16:09What gives you the right to tell her to leave?
16:11Vivian chokes
16:12Isn't that how it's always been?
16:14Adrian pulls out his phone and yells
16:15Get out
16:17Vivian's anger turns to shame
16:19She chased after him
16:20Vivian gave up all pretense of a woman's dignity
16:22And he throws her out
16:24Screaming at her over an assistant
16:26The more she thinks about it
16:27The angrier she gets
16:28She snatches the phone from his hand
16:30And snaps
16:31Adrian what is wrong with you?
16:33Adrian's face turns sinister
16:35He stares at the phone
16:36Now open to his contacts
16:38And walks slowly closer
16:39Cold sweat runs down Vivian's back
16:41Adrian eases the phone out of her hand
16:43Don't come find me again
16:45Vivian storms out cursing
16:47And takes it out on poor Kit at the door
16:49As if that will get her dignity back
16:50Kit stands in the doorway
16:52And hears Adrian say
16:53Don't let anyone in from now on
16:55If Eleanor hears about it
16:56She'll misunderstand and get angry with me
16:58He dials frantic
17:00Eleanor
17:01Someone tells you to leave
17:02And you just leave?
17:03You listen to her that well?
17:05I walk with no direction
17:06I really can't breathe
17:07I sit in the park by the hotel
17:09And the quiet and the fresh air
17:10Finally give me a little room
17:12What are you crying about out here?
17:13I look up at the voice
17:15Lucas is standing there
17:16I touch my face and find it wet
17:18I wipe it
17:19Lucas sighs and sits down beside me
17:21Why aren't you at the hotel?
17:23Vivian's in there
17:24The grievance squeezes out of my chest
17:26And into my eyes
17:27I can't control it
17:28Even my voice shakes
17:29Tears pour down
17:31Lucas freezes
17:32He had no idea Adrian had arranged to see Vivian
17:35For a while Lucas just waits quietly for me to cry
17:37Then he says suddenly
17:38You... you should leave him
17:40I go still
17:41In my whole life
17:42Since I was small
17:43I've been the young master's playmate
17:45Where Adrian goes I go
17:46When Adrian went to private school
17:48Mr. and Mrs. Blackwood arranged for me to go to private school too
17:52When Adrian went to university
17:53I had to go to a university in the same city
17:56Lucas was Adrian's college roommate
17:57However long he's known Adrian
17:59That's how long he's known me
18:00When he first learned I existed
18:02He was startled
18:03He assumed Adrian and I were together
18:04Later he realized we weren't
18:06I never understood it
18:07You could've walked away
18:09The two words
18:10Walk away
18:11Circle in my head
18:12You do whatever Adrian tells you
18:13He tells you to stay away from someone
18:15And you obey
18:16Like a good girl
18:17And you could've lied to him
18:18Lucas is talking about college
18:20A group of us went out to a club in the city
18:22And stayed till dawn
18:23Coming back the next morning
18:24It was so cold
18:26That one of the guys gave me his jacket
18:27And Adrian saw
18:28Adrian blew up
18:29He told me not to speak to that boy again
18:31And he rented a place off campus
18:33And told me to move there
18:34The place was near his campus
18:35Every morning I had to spend an hour and a half on the subway
18:38To get to my own university for my first class
18:41Lucas said a few words for me
18:42Adrian asked me if I had a problem with it
18:45I said no
18:45I was fine with it
18:46Lucas looked at me with pity
18:47He has a kind of tenderness toward me
18:49Like a little sister
18:50I'm grateful to him
18:51He always thinks of other people
18:53You're not short of money
18:55Where couldn't you go?
18:56That money isn't mine
19:00How is it not yours?
19:01You order his food
19:03You book his cars
19:04You take care of everything in his life
19:06All those little daily things are expensive
19:08That's your pay
19:09That's Adrian's fair exchange for your work
19:11You earned it
19:12My head is a storm
19:14Two voices keep colliding
19:15Should I go or should I stay?
19:17I know what keeps me here
19:18Isn't just the survival problem
19:20It's my feelings for Adrian
19:22Worn thin as a thread now
19:23But tough as wire
19:24I can't bear to give it up
19:26And I hate myself for not being able to
19:28My phone rings like thunder out of a clear sky
19:30And breaks the thought apart
19:32Eleanor
19:33Someone tells you to leave
19:34And you just leave
19:35You listen to her that well?
19:37Get back here
19:38Suddenly I'm so tired
19:39All the strength drains out of me
19:41And I lean back against the bench
19:42And I don't care that he's still chasing me down the line
19:45I hang up
19:46Adrian?
19:47I nod
19:47Lucas sees how dazed I am
19:49And sits with me for a while
19:50The leaves moan in the night wind
19:51Out of nowhere I say
19:53But I love Adrian
19:54Lucas freezes
19:55He knows I'm answering his question
19:57Then why do you look so desolate?
19:58I drop my head and laugh at myself
20:00Because it's one sided
20:02Adrian isn't a man who will ever be faithful to one person
20:05Go
20:06I don't answer
20:06I know that better than he does
20:08I grew up with him
20:09How could I not know who he is?
20:10I just don't want to believe it
20:12Okay is about to fall out of me with a sigh
20:14And then Lucas's eyes flick somewhere
20:16The next moment he cups the back of my head
20:18And his cold lips land on mine
20:20My eyes go wide
20:21I don't know what he means by it
20:22Urgent furious footsteps come up behind me
20:25The next second Lucas is a blur
20:26Adrian hauls him up and lands a fist in his face
20:30You dare touch what's mine
20:32He's like a wild animal in the trees
20:34The wind of the forest howling through his hair
20:37He turns and glares at me
20:38I go still
20:39There's no trace of the polished effortless superstar from the daytime
20:43Only a sharp light in his black pupils
20:45He turns and grabs Lucas by the collar
20:47I come to and rush in to stop him
20:49Don't
20:50Adrian
20:55Try protecting him
20:56Just try
20:58People passing stop and stare
21:00Adrian swings at Lucas's face again
21:02Blood is running from Lucas's mouth
21:04But he says calmly
21:05Can you calm down?
21:06Shut up!
21:08Adrian there's so many people around
21:09What if someone films this?
21:11Adrian stop making a scene
21:13Adrian glares at me
21:14His eyes reddening
21:15People are gathering in twos and threes
21:17I grip his arm and plead silently
21:21Eleanor
21:21You think because you've slept with me twice you get to put on airs with me?
21:25My hands go stiff
21:26They fall away
21:27Everything I've held onto so hard is nothing to Adrian
21:30Something he can drop at will
21:31You're so protective of him?
21:33Then don't come back to me
21:35Adrian turns and walks off without hesitating
21:37Leaving me there
21:38I stand in the shadow of the trees
21:40The dark closes over me completely
21:43My hand touches my crossbody bag
21:45Lucas comes over with a sigh
21:46I'm sorry
21:48It's fine
21:49Are you coming back?
21:51I tip my head back
21:52My face is streaked with tears
21:54But nothing more will come
21:56No
21:56I'm going to the airport
21:58I pick up my bag
22:00Credit card
22:00Driver's license
22:01Phone
22:02Passport
22:03I'm missing any one of them and I can't go anywhere
22:05And wouldn't you know it?
22:06They're all here
22:07I smile helplessly
22:09Maybe tonight is a sign
22:10Be safe
22:11Don't go anywhere dangerous
22:16Above my head a night flight passes over
22:18A tiny red point racing through the shadows of the city's neon
22:23Adrian paces the room and in a fury sweeps everything near him onto the floor
22:27Kit has been sent out to call Eleanor
22:29The moment he comes back into the room, Adrian yells at him
22:34She doesn't come apologize! She doesn't see me!
22:38Adrian, she's not picking up
22:40Adrian stops for a beat, eyes burning
22:42He thinks Eleanor is still with Lucas and suspects something between them
22:45Enraged, he grabs his coat and heads for the door
22:48The key card reader beeps outside
22:50Adrian stops, thinking Eleanor has come to apologize
22:52He throws the coat to the floor, ready to explode
22:55He isn't going to forgive her that easily
22:57It's Lucas who comes in
22:58Lucas looks at the mess calmly
22:59Adrian is on him in an instant
23:01You came back
23:02Kit scrambles to hold him back
23:04Lucas adjusts his glasses
23:07Adrian, can you stop being a childish, impulsive idiot?
23:10Adrian freezes
23:11Lucas dares lecture him
23:12He's about to go off again
23:13Lucas picks up the coat and holds it out to him
23:16I just couldn't stand watching you bully Eleanor
23:18So I gave you a taste of it
23:20Adrian knocks the coat away
23:22Lucas looks at it and picks it up again
23:25It's because you're such a bastard that Eleanor left you
23:30What are you saying?
23:32What are you saying?
23:33Elena's gone
23:33She isn't coming back
23:34Adrian's heart drops out of him
23:36Then he steadies
23:37Eleanor would never leave me
23:40Bullshit!
23:42It's true, it's true
23:44She's probably boarding right now
23:48Adrian freezes
23:49Something goes to war inside his head
23:50And then he starts fumbling for his phone
23:52But the floor is covered in everything he threw
23:54He searches, humiliated, and finally finds it
23:57Fingers shaking as he opens the dialer
23:59He calls, he bites his nails
24:01His heart pounds like a drum
24:02When the busy tone comes
24:03His heart seems to stop
24:04He calls again
24:05Lucas waits for him to accept reality
24:07Adrian's eyes get redder, like a madman
24:10Where did she go?
24:12I don't know
24:12She didn't tell me
24:13She only said
24:15She doesn't love you anymore
24:16She doesn't want to see you again
24:21Kit, drive to the airport
24:23Lucas catches him as he passes
24:26She's already on the plane
24:28It's too late
24:28Adrian turns and grips Lucas by the collar
24:31Ripples of savagery and despair in his eyes
24:34You made her leave!
24:37Adrian, you did
24:39Adrian bristles all over at once
24:41A beast startled awake, curling in on himself, shaking
24:44In the end, he lets Lucas go, helplessly
24:46And sits on the sofa, head bowed
24:48The lamp overhead drops his shadow on the floor
24:51In a shapeless blur
24:52In all the wreckage, only the box of cinnamon rolls
24:55Is sitting whole on the coffee table
24:57Lucas, as if he hasn't wounded him enough, adds
25:00Eleanor doesn't like cinnamon rolls
25:02Of the four he bought, Eleanor didn't touch a single one
25:06He reaches to take the box
25:10No
25:11She likes cinnamon rolls
25:15She just wanted to give them to me
25:17How could two people who grew up together not know each other?
25:21He knows every quiet concession Eleanor makes
25:23And he took it for granted that it would never change
25:26Adrian has people trace Eleanor's flight
25:28Nothing
25:28He goes back to her hometown to see her parents
25:31And even they only know she went traveling
25:33They don't know where
25:34Adrian guesses that Eleanor didn't tell them why
25:36She didn't want them to worry
25:37Adrian doesn't say anything either
25:39One month, two months
25:40Adrian stays home and doesn't go out
25:42He turns down every invitation, six months
25:47Lucas throws the contracts down in front of him
25:50Man, do you know how much we'll owe?
25:52Everyone out there says you're quitting
25:54Adrian picks up the cigarette in his fingers
25:56Three months and five days
25:58What?
25:59Adrian doesn't answer
26:00He only takes a drag
26:01Lucas rarely loses his temper, but he can't hold it in
26:05Look at you
26:06She's gone and now you've had your awakening?
26:09Isn't this devotion a little late?
26:11For half a year, Lucas hasn't stopped throwing this at him
26:14As if he knows exactly what Adrian fears most and aims there
26:17Adrian doesn't snap back
26:19It seems being cursed at is the only thing that makes him feel better
26:22He only murmurs the date quietly to himself
26:24I push the luggage cart looking at the familiar English signs in the airport
26:28Feeling something complicated
26:29The joy of finally coming home doesn't do a thing to dilute my anxiety
26:33If I don't come home for Christmas, my mother will kill me
26:36But Adrian knows that too
26:37One year, Adrian's family was going to Switzerland for Christmas
26:40And Adrian wanted me to come
26:42The result was my mother tearing into both of us
26:44In front of elders, Adrian is always well behaved
26:46He never throws tantrums
26:48My mother was so angry, she wouldn't speak to me
26:50I cried for a long time, feeling wronged
26:52And after that, Adrian never dared take me away at Christmas again
26:55All I'm hoping is that this year, Adrian's family goes abroad for Christmas too
26:58Even before I get home, I'm timid about it
27:00Terrified, I'll find Adrian camped outside my parents' door
27:03I stay nervous the whole way
27:05And when I get inside and there's no sign of Adrian, I finally breathe
27:08But when I'm in my quiet room, sitting on the bed
27:10I suddenly laugh out loud, at myself
27:12For being so full of myself
27:14How important could I possibly be to Adrian?
27:16A friend who can be forgotten whenever
27:18I sigh, bleakly
27:19My chest aches
27:20I pat my face and pull myself together
27:22I decided a long time ago not to depend on anyone, didn't I?
27:25I get along fine without Adrian, I wipe away the moment of loss
27:28Why have I turned into such a coward now that I'm home?
27:31My mother calls me to eat
27:32I go out smiling
27:33I've been away so long, I should enjoy this
27:36At the table, my parents complain that I never called while I was abroad
27:39I tell them the funny things I saw
27:40Being home after so long, my disappointment is completely wrapped up in warmth
27:44If only the knock at the door hadn't interrupted it
27:47I groan and get sent to answer it
27:49My smile freezes the moment I see who's outside
27:51Adrian in a black coat, black hair falling over his forehead
27:54Long time no see, Eleanor
27:56My parents are sitting in the dining room
27:58My mind is racing
27:59And by instinct, I start to close the door
28:01Adrian slaps his palm against it and pushes it open
28:04I keep my head down and don't dare look
28:06His voice drops low
28:08I came to bring you Christmas gifts
28:10My mother sees him outside
28:11And greets him warmly
28:12His tone lifts
28:13He smiles
28:14Mrs. Whitmore, I brought Christmas gifts
28:17No need for gifts
28:18Come in
28:19My parents invite him inside
28:20Adrian bends to pick up the stack of whiskey and skincare gift boxes at the door
28:25The moment he straightens, our eyes meet
28:27My soul seems to shudder
28:28There's no smile at all in those eyes
28:30Through the whole meal, only my parents and Adrian are smiling
28:33I sit beside Adrian as if my soul has left my body
28:37I'm terrified he'll tell my parents about us
28:39Every time he opens his mouth, I grip my fork white knuckled
28:42I don't want my parents to know what I did
28:44How cheaply I made myself begging for love
28:47I don't want them to worry
28:48I don't want them to be disappointed
28:50And Adrian has never once thought about anything but his own mood
28:53He doesn't care about my dignity
28:54The whole meal is endless
28:55I'm looking for the moment to see him out the entire time
28:58When I finally find it, I stand up and say
29:00I haven't seen Mr. and Mrs. Blackwood since I came back
29:03Are they home now?
29:05Maybe I said it too loudly
29:06All three of them look at me
29:07I have to try tugging at Adrian's sleeve under the table
29:10Adrian glances down
29:11Something unreadable crosses his face
29:13He agrees
29:14Only when we're downstairs do I relax
29:16But my steps get slower and slower
29:18Falling behind Adrian until I stop
29:20I have no intention of going further
29:22Adrian opens the car door and waits for me from a distance
29:24Do you want us to argue downstairs in front of your parents?
29:27I grit my teeth and get in
29:28The car is unnaturally quiet
29:30I wait a long time
29:31And Adrian doesn't start anything
29:33So I turn to look at him
29:34One hand on the wheel
29:35His cheeks thinner than they were months ago
29:37Giving him a cold, unapproachable distance
29:39That face, unspeaking and tight
29:42Makes it hard to breathe
29:43I can't stand it and speak
29:44If you have nothing to say
29:45Just drop me off by the road
29:47That was obviously an ex-
29:49Didn't you say you wanted to see my parents?
29:52Next time
29:54Are they the only people you haven't seen for so long?
29:56Adrian glances at me
29:57I freeze
29:57I know what he means
29:58And I really don't want to answer
30:00Adrian sees that I won
30:01And turns the wheel
30:02Pulling the car over somewhere empty
30:04When the engine noise has gone completely quiet
30:06A dread rises in me
30:07Adrian leans back against the seat
30:09Eyes on the road ahead
30:10And says mildly
30:11Come back to New York with me after Christmas
30:13Instinctively I answer
30:14No
30:15In my peripheral vision
30:16His eyes snap over
30:17Fabric rasps sharply in the small space
30:20My heart jumps
30:21But I don't dare meet his eyes
30:22His breathing is suddenly loud enough to hear
30:24After a while
30:25He seems to steady
30:26Why?
30:27I quit
30:27I didn't agree
30:29Just because you don't agree
30:31Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to leave
30:32I turn my face to the window
30:34Even the Adrian in the corner of my eye
30:36Is more than I can stand
30:38His breathing gets heavier
30:39But he seems to still be holding his temper patient
30:41If you don't want to work
30:43You don't have to
30:43But come back with me
30:45No
30:45I refuse him stubbornly
30:47The temperature behind me drops
30:49Adrian's right hand suddenly grips my chin
30:51And wrenches my face back
30:52Fingertips digging in
30:54It hurts
30:54And I glare at him
30:55Frowning
30:56His expression is impatient
30:57As if all his patience has run out
30:59And his real nature is finally showing
31:01He shouts
31:02Eleanor you're not done yet
31:03You must come back with me
31:05Anger rises in me too
31:07I glare back
31:08No
31:09So we stare at each other
31:10Neither of us giving an inch
31:12It's a strange scene
31:13Six months ago
31:13I couldn't have imagined
31:15Glaring at Adrian like this
31:16Not backing off at all
31:17Despair slowly comes into his eyes
31:19His voice is tired
31:21What will it take for you to come back with me?
31:23I'm not going back
31:25I don't want to see you again
31:26The fingers on my chin tremble
31:27He says urgently
31:29I didn't call Vivian over
31:31I haven't touched anyone else since I was with you
31:33Something tightens in my chest
31:35He thinks that one thing is all I care about
31:38Together?
31:39Were we ever together?
31:40By together you mean I have to give you whatever you want whenever you want it?
31:45Adrian freezes
31:46He's only ever cared about his own preferences
31:48What he wants he must have
31:50He has never once considered the other person's feelings
31:53Adrian is a little thrown
31:54But you aren't
31:55In love with you?
31:56I cut him off
31:57Adrian's face goes white
31:58He watches my reaction carefully
32:00Of course
32:01He knew
32:02He's always known I loved him
32:03So he took it for granted
32:04He could use my love to enjoy every concession I gave him without a shred of guilt
32:08In Adrian's eyes was sleeping with him supposed to be a reward for me?
32:12I can't help the cold laugh that comes out
32:15It's aimed at myself
32:16Adrian sees it and his breath catches
32:18His brow furrows
32:19He's shaking
32:20I harden my heart and bite down on the flesh between his thumb and finger
32:23Adrian hisses in pain but he doesn't let go
32:26I have hatred and fury in my teeth and I don't let go either until I taste blood and then
32:31I slowly release him
32:32To my surprise Adrian doesn't explode
32:34He sits there dumbly with his hand still extended
32:37Then he holds it out to me
32:38His voice rippling and shaking
32:39If you're still angry you can bite me
32:43But can you come back with me?
32:44I look at him baffled
32:46Why?
32:46Adrian never asks for anything
32:48I don't understand why he's so set on taking me back
32:50He's like a child who never grew up guarding all his toys unwilling to give a single one away
32:55Adrian laughs once head down
32:56Then he looks up and shouts
32:57Why? Why? Because I can't live without you Eleanor! What am I supposed to do?
33:03He grabs my wrist and pulls me toward him without asking
33:06And the shock and anger just rising in me are forgotten when I see his wet eyes
33:10I go stiff
33:11There's a shifting light in Adrian's eyes and it's desperately fragile
33:15I've never seen Adrian cry
33:16When other people hurt him he doesn't feel wronged
33:19He feels rage and he takes a madman's revenge
33:22And he never shows a hint of being wounded
33:24For a second I soften
33:2520 odd years together even if it isn't love I can't stand to see him look that wronged
33:30Adrian pants eyes red as if he's made some decision
33:33A hard light comes into them
33:35He says one word at a time
33:37If you don't come back with me I'll tell your parents about us
33:39My heart stops
33:40He's using it against me
33:42My eyes sting
33:43Whatever tenderness I had for him burns up completely
33:45We're both absurd
33:47Tears in our eyes and what we're holding back isn't tenderness for each other
33:51It's loathing
33:52I notice how hollow my chest is
33:54For Adrian I can't summon a single ripple
33:56I stretch my face into a smile
33:58Fine
33:59Adrian had been watching me tensely
34:01His temples tight and now he relaxes
34:03Joy flashes in his pupils
34:04He stares as if he can't believe it
34:06Really?
34:08I'll go back to New York after Christmas
34:09Don't bother me before that
34:11When we leave home we put on a show for my parents of nothing being wrong
34:14And the moment we turn around I don't want to say one word to Adrian
34:17On the plane Adrian tests me gripping my right hand
34:20Next time we come back we can tell your parents we're together
34:24I pull my hand back without hesitating and turn to sleep
34:27We're not together
34:28Adrian is thwarted and lies down sullenly too
34:3215 days away and I'd already braced for a big cleaning job
34:35But the apartment looks like nobody ever left it
34:38Spotless as usual
34:39Adrian smiles and takes credit
34:41I've had someone cleaning for you the whole time
34:44Without expression I say
34:46Thank you
34:46Then I turn and look at him
34:48Why are you still here?
34:49His smile freezes his face darkens
34:51You're throwing me out?
34:52I don't avoid his furious eyes at all
34:55This is my home
34:56Strange to say I'm not afraid of Adrian being angry anymore
34:59In fact I almost hope he gets angry enough to go crazy
35:02Once he's been humiliated enough he'll get bored of me
35:05Adrian glares at me and backs straight out the door
35:07Then stands just outside staring at me hard
35:10I won't force you but I'm not leaving
35:14Unbelievable
35:15I slam the door in his face and it feels as satisfying as slapping him
35:19A second before the door closes I can still see his stunned expression
35:23He's proud he's probably already furious
35:25I turn back into the apartment and hear a shout from the hall
35:28Eleanor I'm not leaving
35:29Who cares I sort my clothes and stay in my room
35:32I don't even go into the living room
35:34At 12 at night I'm asleep and then I hear banging on the door
35:37Adrian you psycho
35:38I yank the blanket over my head annoyed
35:40The knocking doesn't stop
35:42This is low even for him
35:43Coming to harass people after they're asleep
35:46I storm over to the door ready to yell at him
35:48And find two police officers standing there
35:50Behind them Adrian his face black with gloom
35:53Hello a neighbor reported a creep lurking at your door
35:56Do you know him?
35:57Across the hall a neighbor opens their door a crack and peers at Adrian
36:01I told them I'm her boyfriend
36:03Adrian yells I say nothing
36:05The officer asks
36:07Has he been harassing you?
36:08Adrian looks at me and there's an edge of grievance in it and hope
36:12He holds his chin stubbornly high which only makes him look pitiful
36:16That creep looks a little like that singer
36:18The neighbor glances at Adrian again and mutters
36:21I sigh
36:22Fine I'll call it saving Lucas some work
36:24I nod
36:24I'm sorry we had a fight
36:26Hearing that Adrian drops some of his savagery
36:29The officers give Adrian a lecture
36:31I push his head down and apologize over and over
36:34Adrian is startled but he's obedient for once
36:36He apologizes
36:37To prevent any bigger misunderstanding I have no choice but to bring him in
36:41Adrian comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me
36:44Rubbing his head against my neck coaxing
36:47Don't get the wrong idea I just didn't want you on the news tomorrow
36:49I don't want to be involved
36:52Adrian stops
36:52His arms tighten abruptly
36:54Then after a while he slowly straightens and lets go
36:57And I take the chance to walk back to my room
36:59You can sleep on the couch
37:00Adrian's voice has a sob in it
37:02Eleanor
37:02Horse
37:03You promised you'd never leave me you liar I hate you
37:06I stiffen
37:07I suppose I did promise him that
37:09Adrian's piano competition when he was six
37:11I was the one who went with him
37:13His parents were working and didn't have time
37:15We were playing where we shouldn't have been behind the venue
37:17And Adrian hurt his leg
37:19I stood up at once and Adrian grabbed me and said viciously
37:22You're going to leave me?
37:24We hadn't known each other long then
37:26Adrian didn't exactly trust me
37:27I'm three months older than Adrian
37:29I told him
37:30I won't leave you
37:31Wait here while I go find an adult to help
37:33I looked at him steadily
37:34And only then did Adrian slowly let go
37:36I brought an adult back for him
37:38Adrian recovered at home for three months
37:40And for those three months
37:41I had to be at his house every single day
37:43If he couldn't see me he'd throw a tantrum
37:45If I said I was going home he wouldn't eat
37:47I think that's when I became Adrian's shadow
37:49Completely
37:50It's been so long
37:51And remembering it makes my chest ache
37:53I don't know how to answer him
37:54I go straight to my room and lean against the door
37:57Breathing hard
37:57Adrian still remembers something from that long ago
38:00I sleep badly all night
38:02As if something invisible is pinning me down
38:04I want to run and I can't
38:06When I wake up my body feels heavy
38:08I try to move and laugh out of sheer fury
38:10Adrian can you get out?
38:13Adrian's arm is around my waist pressing me down
38:15How can he be this shameless sneaking into my bed?
38:18Adrian's eyes are sleep hazy
38:19He cuts them open unbothered and lies back down
38:22Mumbling
38:22I was good
38:23I only held you while you slept
38:25I'm stunned by how shameless he is
38:27After a struggle we're shouting at each other in the living room again
38:30Adrian glares at me eyes red
38:32What did I do wrong?
38:33I just want to want to be with you
38:34Nobody wants to be with you like this
38:36Adrian stops his face goes wounded
38:38What's not good enough about me?
38:40Everything about you isn't good enough
38:42You're arrogant and you think you're the center of the world
38:46Everything and everyone has to go the way you like
38:50Have you ever respected me?
38:52Have you ever asked me if I wanted to?
38:54If all you need is someone to sleep with there are plenty
38:58Why do you have to torture me?
39:00I'm so sick of being Adrian's shadow
39:02So sick of giving him everything I have
39:05He doesn't know what love is
39:06He only knows possession
39:07He'd even use threats to drag me back
39:09That's how he's been since he was a child
39:12Eleanor
39:14You think think all I want is to with you?
39:16I shout
39:17ISN'T IT
39:17Adrian thinks I'm the person I used to be
39:20That I'll always soften for him
39:22That even if he does something to me, I won't be angry
39:24Otherwise, how would he dare walk into my room like he owns it?
39:28Adrian paces, furious, hands on his hips, breathing hard
39:31When he looks at me again, there's something crazed and final in his eyes
39:34He says through his teeth
39:37I'm in love with you
39:38My mind goes blank
39:40What he just said is too horrifying to process?
39:42In love with me?
39:43What is Adrian saying?
39:44Does Adrian even know what love is?
39:46My temple pulses
39:47Adrian doesn't give me a second to react
39:49He steps in
39:50I love you so I want you
39:52You don't?
39:53Eleanor, you say you love me, don't you?
39:55He's closer and closer
39:56And what he's saying is so blunt I can't hold my ground
39:59I step back to escape the interrogation
40:01And Adrian grips my hand hard and yanks
40:03I crash into his chest
40:06Do you?
40:08Do you want me the way I want you?
40:10His voice comes through the vibration of it
40:12His tone gets lonelier as he goes
40:16Eleanor, do you love me?
40:18Do you love me the way I love you?
40:20My head is mush, I can't keep up
40:23Adrian's questions come one after another and I fall back and back
40:26I haven't even adjusted to the fact that Adrian says he loves me
40:30Am I telling the truth?
40:32Eleanor, we've known each other 20 years
40:34You know
40:36You know whether I'm telling the truth right now
40:38Adrian says it quietly and when I look up I fall into his gentle eyes
40:42My voice catches
40:43But it's too late, Adrian
40:45I don't love you anymore
40:47Adrian laughs bitterly
40:49Then suddenly he hugs me tight and buries his head against my neck
40:53I'ma let you go
40:54Even if you don't love me
40:56Then we'll just torture each other
40:57Adrian goes quiet
40:59For months he insists on not leaving my home
41:01But he doesn't disturb me either
41:03Doesn't come looking for trouble
41:05At night he always finds some way to hold me while I sleep
41:08I don't sleep well because he holds on too hard
41:10The grip of a man holding a prisoner as if I might run
41:13Sometimes he wakes with a shudder
41:14And once he's sure I'm still there
41:16He holds on even tighter
41:18I'm furious and helpless
41:19In the daytime I yell at him not to come into my room
41:22He says nothing and lets me scold
41:24And at night it's the same as always
41:25Lucas comes to find him at my place several times
41:28Does he still want his career?
41:29Does he still want to be a singer?
41:31Each time shouting at him
41:32Adrian smokes silently and lets him yell
41:34Adrian never used to smoke
41:36He was protecting his voice
41:37On his way out Lucas gives me a look
41:39And I understand and follow him out
41:41Lucas sits in the stairwell with his head down
41:43His carefully styled hair clawed into a mess
41:49I sit beside him
41:50Lucas seems unable to start
41:52He takes a breath and asks as if giving up
41:56Could you?
41:56No
41:57I cut him off and look at him sternly
41:59Lucas understands at once that I've guessed what he was going to ask
42:03He pulls out a cigarette and is about to light it
42:05I take it out of his hand and throw it on the ground
42:08I'm not breathing secondhand smoke for you again
42:10He weighs his words
42:14Adrian this really will finish him
42:16I don't mean his career I mean him
42:18I don't answer
42:19Seeing how set I am Lucas tries again
42:21Then why don't you just marry someone
42:22Cut it off completely
42:23Would that work?
42:24Which means asking me to give myself up and put Adrian first
42:28No
42:29The sudden male voice makes us both turn
42:31Adrian is standing high up on the stairs
42:33Backlit so I can't see his face
42:35And something violent is coming off him
42:37Ellie
42:37Come inside
42:38Adrian holds out his hand
42:40I sense sharply that his mood is wrong
42:42The moment I put my hand in his
42:44He grips it tight
42:46Then to Lucas
42:47Lucas
42:48Don't come here anymore
42:49I stand between the two of them
42:51And it tastes bad
42:52They've been classmates six or seven years
42:54After Lucas met Adrian
42:55The two of them built the entertainment company from nothing
42:58Holding up each other's dreams
42:59Inside
43:01Lucas means well
43:02Adrian is facing me
43:03Half his profile pulled tight
43:05As long as you're with me I'm fine
43:07Adrian pushes his hands into his pockets
43:10And walks slowly into the room
43:11His broad shoulders hunched
43:13Nothing left of the confident arrogant man he was
43:15My palm still holds the warmth of his grip
43:18That small warmth somehow feels utterly desolate
43:20And before I know it I've spoken
43:22I can give you one more chance
43:24Adrian's back stops
43:25He turns slow and stiff like a machine
43:28And a light flickers in his worn eyes
43:34What, what did you say?
43:36Only then do I realize what I said
43:38It wasn't something my reason produced
43:40It came up from somewhere deep in my head
43:43Looking at the hope in his eyes I softened
43:45I'll give you one more chance
43:47If you don't treat me well
43:48I'll never love you again
43:49Adrian rushes over and holds me tight
43:51Hot tears falling on my skin
43:53Calling my name over and over incoherently
43:59After Adrian washes his hair
44:00He sits in front of the bed looking at me
44:02And I sigh and pick up the blow dryer
44:04And start drying it
44:05Adrian seems happy
44:07Adrian's hair is very long now
44:08Get it cut shorter
44:11I said to him
44:13Go back to work properly
44:16Adrian wraps his arms around my waist
44:18His wet hair soaks through my t-shirt
44:20I push him off
44:21Adrian freezes
44:22Then his hands turn domineering
44:24You said you'd give me another chance
44:27My temple throbs
44:28How did I ever think Adrian's nature had changed?
44:31I glare at him
44:32And Adrian guiltily lets go
44:34I sit cross-legged with my hands on my hips
44:36First, let's agree on some rules
44:39No acting up
44:40No forcing me
44:42Don't touch me without my permission
44:43No force reasonable
44:44Stay unreasonable
44:45Give me space
44:45You won't be no forcingable
44:47With all men only it'll be unreasonable
44:48I list over 50 rules in one go
44:51And the further I get
44:52The less I can stop
44:5420 years of grievance all pours out
44:56He only nods dazed
44:57I'm getting into it now
44:58Ready to prosecute every crime he's ever committed
45:01I'll change all of it
45:02Ellie, it's one in the morning
45:04Aren't you sleeping?
45:08You don't want to hear it?
45:09I want to
45:11I go on for another two hours
45:12Until I'm drowsy
45:13Yawning uncontrollably
45:15And I flop onto the pillow
45:17And keep talking
45:20Gradually I can't keep my eyes open
45:22Adrian brushes my hair off my face
45:24And traces my features
45:26Then he leaves a kiss on my furrowed brow
45:29Eleanor
45:30I'm sorry I treated you so badly before
45:32Then you have to change
45:34I answer vaguely
45:36Hmm
45:37Lucas is stunned to get an apology call from Adrian
45:40He even suspects fraud
45:42Adrian
45:42Apologizing
45:45Eleanor is basically a savior
45:48After the call Adrian comes over to me
45:51I apologized
45:53Then when are you going back to work?
45:55Adrian frowns
45:58You want me out working that badly?
45:59His profession means flying from city to city
46:02He had very little time in New York
46:03And working means not seeing each other for stretches
46:06Especially now that Eleanor isn't his personal assistant anymore
46:09How will you make money if you don't work?
46:12I'm rich whether I work or not
46:14I stop and sigh
46:15Adrian is hyper reactive to everything I do now
46:18Do you not want to see me?
46:21I didn't say that
46:23Adrian can't settle
46:24Without a definite answer, he's anxious
46:27If I go to work, we'll be apart, will you miss me?
46:31Being stared at with that intensity is uncomfortable
46:33But he looks so pitiful as if he'd collapse without an answer from me
46:38I not
46:39I will
46:40Adrian turns my face toward him and looks into my eyes
46:42Really?
46:44Really?
46:45Video call me every day
46:47If I text, you have to answer
46:49His demands keep growing
46:50He's almost clingy
46:51I brush him off
46:53Fine, fine
46:54I got it, my big star
46:56The hope in his eyes slowly heats and turns tender
46:59My face starts to burn
47:01He speaks, low and hoarse
47:02Can we just kiss?
47:04Adrian's hoarse voice is as gentle as when he sings
47:06Er...
47:07Fine sweat breaks out along my back
47:09I nod, trembling
47:10Adrian covers my lips solemnly
47:12Still trembling a little from nerves
47:13I grip his clothes
47:14It isn't our first kiss
47:16And yet even my heart is reacting to this touch like it never has before
47:20Pounding
47:21The sound of it loud
47:22Still not settled when it ends
47:24Adrian pulls back
47:25Breathing lightly
47:26Forehead to forehead
47:27He takes a small leather box from his pocket
47:30I look at him not understanding
47:31He opens it
47:32A silver ring scatters thin light
47:34He says urgently
47:35If we get married
47:37Can we go further?
47:38I go blank
47:39I stare at the ring
47:40The light filling my eyes until my vision blurs
47:42Adrian takes the ring
47:44And puts it on my hand without asking
47:45Turns my face
47:46Presses his forehead to mine
47:49Eleanor
47:50Put it on
47:51And then look only at me
47:53Forever
47:54To come and see