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00:00:00Music
00:00:09Have you ever looked around at the limitless majesty of creation and wondered?
00:00:14Wondered what all these forests, valleys, mountains and puddles are actually for?
00:00:20Wondered how many buildings were knocked down to make way for them
00:00:23and who granted the planning permission?
00:00:25Wondered about all the incredible yet musky animals we share our planet with?
00:00:31What's up with them?
00:00:32From pointless ants to long-necked horse monsters
00:00:35From repugnant wombats to beautiful elephants
00:00:39What do the creatures want?
00:00:42And why do they refuse to tell us?
00:00:45And then of course there's us, humanikkind
00:00:49Have you ever wondered how we got here?
00:00:52Wondered where we're going?
00:00:53Wondered about the biggest mystery of all
00:00:56What is the meaning of life?
00:00:58Well I haven't
00:00:59But others have
00:01:01For thousands of years
00:01:02Thinkers, artists, authors and my aunt Carol
00:01:05Have struggled to define humankind's purpose
00:01:08Is life's meaning a riddle that even can be answered?
00:01:12And if so, should we listen?
00:01:14Or cover our ears to avoid spoilers?
00:01:17In this landmark documentary special
00:01:19I'll travel the globe to walk in slow motion through picturesque locations
00:01:23Get up close to some of the most significant molecules in existence
00:01:27And meet a variety of academics, experts and professional mammals
00:01:32To ask some of the most significant questions you can say with a mouth
00:01:36Hello, who are you?
00:01:37I'm Brian Cox, professor of particle physics at the University of Manchester
00:01:41Can I call you Brian or do you prefer Cox?
00:01:44So join me, Philomena Conk, as I uncover the point of it all
00:01:49This is Conk On Life!
00:02:05Welcome to our universe
00:02:08A limitless expanse peppered with stars, planets and assorted space muck
00:02:14It's where you live
00:02:16In fact, you're somewhere in this photo
00:02:19But we don't know where
00:02:21Because the universe is so vast
00:02:24We simply can't make you out
00:02:26Even with your ears
00:02:31Gazing into this infinite tapestry
00:02:33Makes us ask questions
00:02:35Not just about where the ceiling's gone
00:02:37But deep questions
00:02:39That strike at the very core of our arseholes
00:02:43Questions like
00:02:44How did it get here?
00:02:50Who are you?
00:02:52I'm Douglas Headley
00:02:53And I teach the philosophy of religion at the University of Cambridge
00:02:57So, why are we here?
00:03:00You mean why human beings exist?
00:03:04No, I mean why are we here in, is this near your house or something?
00:03:09No
00:03:09Took me 90 minutes to get here on the Piccadilly Line
00:03:14There are countless theories about how the universe got here
00:03:17And the earliest one comes from the wacky world of religion
00:03:22This is the Good Old Testament
00:03:24The first entry in the Christian cinematic universe
00:03:27Jesus isn't in this one
00:03:29It's mainly about his bad tempered dad
00:03:31A man so mysterious, we still only know him by his stage name
00:03:35God
00:03:37I'm going to go straight in at the deep end
00:03:40Is there a God?
00:03:42Yes
00:03:42Oh, that was quick
00:03:44Hmm
00:03:46Great
00:03:47Has anyone proved it?
00:03:51No, except to their own satisfaction
00:03:53Does God have a brother called Simon?
00:03:56No
00:03:57But they can't prove that either, so he might have
00:04:00The universe could have been created by Simon
00:04:03The Old Testament claims God, and or Simon
00:04:06Created our universe in just seven days
00:04:10It sounds like a lot to achieve in such a short space of time
00:04:14But unlike us, God wasn't constantly interrupted by iPhone notifications
00:04:19God started by saying, let there be light
00:04:22Which makes sense because he needed to be able to see what he was doing
00:04:25Then he divided light from dark, like I do when I'm doing a clothes wash
00:04:29Next he created the firmament, whatever that is
00:04:33And the oceans and the stars
00:04:35For his next trick, God filled the oceans with water animals
00:04:39Or fish, as they're sometimes known
00:04:41And the heavens with sky beasts, or birds
00:04:44Then he infested the earth with insects, reptiles, mammals
00:04:48And whatever category of things slugs are
00:04:50And finally, for his croning achievement
00:04:53He created perhaps the only thing worth celebrating
00:04:57Us
00:04:59Here on the planet of Italy is the Sistine Chapel
00:05:03Inside it is an astonishing collection of images
00:05:06Created by overachieving painter-decorator, Michael A. N. Gello
00:05:11This artwork took him four years to complete
00:05:14Ruining a perfectly good ceiling in the process
00:05:18But whatever you think of it, what it depicts is momentous
00:05:22The moment God created life by jizzing us out of his hands
00:05:27This image of the most significant finger-banging history
00:05:31Has inspired visitors to the Sistine Chapel for many centuries
00:05:34And visitors to this replica for less time than that
00:05:39It's perhaps the greatest masterpiece in all of art
00:05:42But also the most annoying to look at
00:05:45When I gaze up at it, I'm struck by a sense of wonder
00:05:48But mainly by a crick in my neck
00:05:52When Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel
00:05:54Did he start on the floor and then they flipped the building over?
00:05:58Or was it always on the ceiling?
00:06:00The painting was always on the ceiling
00:06:03It's quite high up, isn't it?
00:06:05Did Michelangelo use a really long brush?
00:06:08Or did he have really long arms?
00:06:11Well, he had to stand up on top of some scaffolding
00:06:14And bend his head backwards
00:06:16Wouldn't paint drip down into his eyes when he was doing it?
00:06:20I bet he was blinking the whole time
00:06:21Like that
00:06:23He doesn't complain about that, but he must have done
00:06:26However he did it, painting the Sistine Chapel must have been a great upper body workout
00:06:31How strong were Michelangelo's arms?
00:06:33Like if a mad priest had leapt on his back while he was painting it
00:06:37Would he have been able to reach round and pull him off?
00:06:41Oh yeah, I think so
00:06:42I think Michelangelo was quite muscular
00:06:45He must have been
00:06:46So he could really yank him off
00:06:48I think he could have done, yeah
00:06:51The man God's creating here is called Adam
00:06:53He's one half of the first celebrity couple Adam and Eve
00:06:57Played here by actors who happily signed a nudity waiver
00:07:01Of course the real Adam and Eve wouldn't have had tattoos
00:07:04We'd have to paint over our intimate piercings
00:07:07We'd have to ask them to take out a hand to our researcher for safekeeping
00:07:11We've pixelated the offensive parts of their bodies
00:07:13A technology that wasn't available in Old Testament times
00:07:17Which is why I can see everything
00:07:19Even though I don't really want to
00:07:21Adam and Eve weren't just the first humans to exist
00:07:24But the first humans to disappoint their dad
00:07:28God had hidden the secret of knowledge inside a delicious looking fruit
00:07:31And then forbidden them to eat it for some fucking reason
00:07:34But eat it they did
00:07:36An early example of an apple product hastening the downfall of humankind
00:07:41This was the original sin
00:07:43And ever since all humans have been considered sinful
00:07:54Sinners worry God might punish them
00:07:56But what about you?
00:08:02Well, I'm a sinner like anybody else
00:08:07No, I mean, should they worry about you punishing them?
00:08:11Uh, no
00:08:15God realised he needed help keeping us sinful humans in check
00:08:19And he knew just who to call on
00:08:21This is Holy Moses, the most successful influencer of Old Testament times
00:08:26Very much the Mr Beast of his day
00:08:28One day God invited Moses to the top of Mount Sinai
00:08:32And handed him a set of rules for life carved on stone tablets
00:08:35It was the world's first and heaviest press release
00:08:38God commanded Moses to spread this message far and wide
00:08:42Which must have been annoying for Moses
00:08:44Because he'd have to carry the tablets back down on foot
00:08:46And probably didn't have room in his rucksack
00:08:48How many ten commandments were there?
00:08:52How many?
00:08:53You just named them ten
00:08:54So there were ten ten commandments
00:08:57There weren't a hundred commandments
00:08:59There were ten commandments
00:09:01There were ten commandments
00:09:03Yes
00:09:04That's it
00:09:05These shalts and shalt-nots are a set of terms and conditions for humankind
00:09:10All Christians had to agree to abide by them
00:09:13And also accept occasional promotional messages from God
00:09:16On subjects that may interest them
00:09:18How did God manage to boil his terms and conditions down to just ten points
00:09:22When the iPhone end user licence agreement is about a hundred pages long?
00:09:28Well, it just proves the point that God is God
00:09:30And so he's a lot more concise than we are
00:09:32Is it a legally binding contract?
00:09:34It is a covenant
00:09:35Which is a covenant of love between God and God's people
00:09:39No, I meant the iPhone one
00:09:42In a bid to stay in God's good books
00:09:44Devout followers avoid sinful pleasures like lusting after sloths
00:09:48During their lifetimes
00:09:54Not everyone thinks enjoying yourself is bad
00:09:57Some people dedicate their lives to hedonism
00:09:59The sleaziest ism there is
00:10:01Apart from jism
00:10:05Entire cities have been built for hedonist pursuits
00:10:08Impressive opulent cities like Swansea and Wales
00:10:12And also this place
00:10:13This is Las Vegas
00:10:16Spanish for the Vegas
00:10:18With its culture of casinos, strip clubs and round-the-clock drinking
00:10:22It's a Mecca for people who aren't going to Mecca
00:10:25Vegas is a shimmering visual metaphor for human indulgence
00:10:30According to our director
00:10:31And too far away and expensive for us to film in
00:10:34According to our producer
00:10:35Who lost the argument
00:10:40Given its reputation
00:10:41Las Vegas is also known as Sin City
00:10:44Which is short for Cincinnati
00:10:46Or would be if that wasn't a different place altogether
00:10:49Many of the tourists who flock here each year
00:10:53Hope that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
00:10:56Maybe that's true
00:10:57But on the other hand God sees everything
00:11:00Even that thing my ex Sean used to do with his thumb
00:11:04Worse still
00:11:05God doesn't just know about the sinful things you've done
00:11:08He also knows about the sinful things you're merely thinking of doing
00:11:13God knows everything we're thinking
00:11:15That's a data privacy nightmare isn't it?
00:11:18Is there a way to opt out?
00:11:20Not that I'm aware of
00:11:21Could you put God off the scent by only thinking decoy thoughts
00:11:26Like only thinking the opposite of what you actually think?
00:11:30Would that work?
00:11:32I don't think so
00:11:33No
00:11:35Because you're not just dealing with a God who is omniscient
00:11:37Knows everything
00:11:38You're also dealing with a God who is omnipotent
00:11:40Is all-powerful
00:11:42I'll be honest this relationship with God throws up a lot of red flags
00:11:45He's watching us all the time
00:11:48He sets rules
00:11:50He's got a terrible temper
00:11:52He even thinks he's God
00:11:54Isn't he basically just a toxic narcissist?
00:11:57If you follow God's rules religiously
00:12:00You'll ascend to the kingdom of heaven
00:12:02Which sounds great
00:12:03Although if you're old when you die
00:12:05You might not want to be going up a lot of stairs
00:12:10In heaven nobody has to work anymore
00:12:12The most that will be asked of you is doing the washing up
00:12:15But since all earthly appetites will have been sated
00:12:18We can only be talking about the odd mog
00:12:21The alternative to heaven is hell
00:12:23A fiery pit of damnation and eternal torment
00:12:27Which currently only has two stars on TripAdvisor
00:12:29This is quite a spiritual show
00:12:32Can I ask about our souls?
00:12:35Do we get judged for the cleanliness of our souls when we get to heaven?
00:12:40I think we get judged by how we've acted in the world
00:12:43When we look into our souls, what do we find there?
00:12:48Well, it depends on how far we're prepared to look into it
00:12:52How far you look up, yeah
00:12:56God's unforgiving nature means his believers try to stay in his good books
00:13:00Through a form of organised grovelling called worship
00:13:06Enter our souls, King of heaven
00:13:14Even though they we not see
00:13:19Enter our souls resolutely
00:13:24Penetrate the depths within
00:13:29Our souls, our souls
00:13:31Our souls, our souls
00:13:34Fill them up unto the free
00:13:42Many find praising God in this way gives them a purpose in life
00:13:46Sucking up to the boss
00:13:49If God's up there looking down on us, why do we kneel when we pray?
00:13:53Kneeling is the expression of a sense of awe and holiness
00:13:59Yeah, but what's the point of kneeling though all bent over?
00:14:03You know, it's terrible acoustics
00:14:05Wouldn't it be better to stand up and shout a list of demands up to the sky?
00:14:09God is not in the sky, literally
00:14:11Right, so where is he? Has he got an address?
00:14:16God is present in all places and all times
00:14:22What, even like in cupboards?
00:14:25Well, you've raised a very important question here
00:14:29Because one way of thinking about the divine presence is in terms of his knowledge
00:14:40So maybe God is not located in the cupboard
00:14:45But he knows about the state of affairs in the cupboards
00:14:50Sorry, is he in a cupboard or not?
00:14:53Not everyone believes God is solely responsible for giving us life
00:14:57Other origin stories are available
00:15:00The man slowly moving towards you is unshaven Victorian genius Charles Darwin
00:15:05One day Darwin rode a beagle to the Galapagos Islands
00:15:09Where an exotic tortoise gave him an idea in the form of a theory
00:15:13A theory that human bodies hadn't always been human bodies
00:15:18Why do we say our ancestors came in apes?
00:15:23Our ancestors came...
00:15:25In apes
00:15:26Ah, they didn't come from apes
00:15:29Apes and ourselves came from something else
00:15:33A chimp
00:15:33Sort of, you know, it's not exactly like a chimp or a modern ape or ourselves
00:15:39Right, so we didn't come in and chimp?
00:15:41No
00:15:43It's hard to believe we all mutated from monkey meat
00:15:46Unless you consider all life is basically the same at a microscopic level
00:15:50Lots of things are alive
00:15:52From tiny microbes to bigger microbes
00:15:55Every life form is made of cells
00:15:58Like a prison
00:15:59Which is probably why existence is so depressing
00:16:02It's a life sentence
00:16:04Just like the sentences I say in this programme about life
00:16:09Are cells worth having?
00:16:11Well, without cells we wouldn't be
00:16:14We're made up of trillions of cells
00:16:16We all came from a single cell
00:16:18So they're really important to us
00:16:20Are my cells dividing and multiplying all the time?
00:16:24Like even when I'm sitting here now
00:16:25Since you've been sat there they've probably
00:16:28You've had about a million cell divisions going on in your body
00:16:31Ah, no wonder I feel so worn out all the time
00:16:35Cells couldn't multiply without this
00:16:37The IKEA instruction manual for life
00:16:39DNA
00:16:41DNA is tiny yet complex
00:16:43Like Tom Cruise
00:16:45It would take a typist over 50 years to type out the DNA sequence
00:16:49Which would be stupid because she could just cut and paste it and go home
00:16:52I call her she because of unconscious bias
00:16:55Which is in my DNA and not my fault
00:16:58Have you heard of DNA?
00:17:01Yes
00:17:02Do we all have DNA?
00:17:04Or do some of us have D or A but not both?
00:17:08No, it's not D and A
00:17:11It's three letters D-N-A
00:17:14Can you tell by looking at me whether I have DNA?
00:17:17Well I know you have DNA because you're a living organism and all life has DNA
00:17:22My mate Paul tried to create a new life form by inserting his DNA into a grapefruit
00:17:28But halfway through the experiment the greengrosser started hitting him
00:17:33Why is science so controversial?
00:17:38Sorry, that question didn't follow from your story of the DNA?
00:17:44No, it changed, yeah
00:17:45One of life's biggest mysteries is how it's possible for me to look both like my mother
00:17:51And my father
00:17:53At the same time
00:17:55Even though I've only got one face
00:17:58Is it true the most important thing we can do as humans is piss in our genes?
00:18:04Pass on our genes
00:18:06Sorry?
00:18:07Sorry, it's pass on our genes
00:18:09Oh, right
00:18:11Is it true the most important thing we can do as a human is pass on our genes?
00:18:19Well, I don't know if it's the most important thing but it is very important
00:18:23Because what it means is that you pass on your genes from you to your child
00:18:30What if I don't want to pass on any of mine?
00:18:33Then you don't have to
00:18:34Right, how can I avoid it?
00:18:36Well, erm, you have to make love
00:18:40What, to avoid passing on my genes?
00:18:45All living things reproduce, which means all living things procreate
00:18:50Dogs, lions, pigs, penguins, monkeys, shell monsters, elephants, horses, David and Victoria Beckham and pigs again
00:18:59The female reproductive organs are largely hidden indoors for safekeeping and are normally only visible behind some kind of paywall
00:19:07By contrast the male genitals, or mister genitals, live on the outside of the body
00:19:13Where they can be easily photographed and DM'd to a potential mate without consent
00:19:18So, which bit's the penis?
00:19:20So, the penis is over here, it's this bit here
00:19:23Right, I'll talk quietly, I don't want to waste it
00:19:27This is a flaccid penis, so for sexual intercourse it has to become erect
00:19:32So, what happens then? What bit goes where?
00:19:35So, this penis needs to become erect and then it will be put into the vagina here during intercourse
00:19:42And he's going to ejaculate sperm through his penis and then into the woman's vagina
00:19:48Christ, I hope nothing like that ever happens to me
00:19:52The disappointingly flavoured soup that vomits from the penis contains millions of plucky young tadpoles
00:19:58Which swim their way up through the female pipework towards an egg
00:20:02And then kamikaze into it like a tiny 9-11 happening up a lady
00:20:06This is where, incredibly, the miracle of life begins and the precise moment that a woman's right to choose ends
00:20:17Nine months after conception, the infant painlessly slides through the lady's front hole and out into the world
00:20:23It then slowly mutates, from a baby into an actual human being
00:20:29But what exactly is a human being?
00:20:32What percentage of people have a human body?
00:20:36All humans have a human body
00:20:38What about people holding a cat? Have they got a human body? And a cat's body? Or does it not
00:20:45work that way?
00:20:46No, the two are completely separate. The human is a human and the cat is a cat
00:20:52Human biology has existed almost as long as humans themselves, if not longer
00:20:57It involves a complex arrangement of skin and meat machines called organs
00:21:03Put these organs in a plastic bag and walk around a shoe shop with them and you'd be arrested
00:21:08But put them in the right order and you've got a human body
00:21:11An exquisitely constructed machine that also farts on its crisps
00:21:17Our organs are so gory, some people can't bear to see images like this
00:21:21If you're one of those sensitive viewers, look away five seconds ago
00:21:26Is the correct term for all this awful or gore?
00:21:31All this stuff?
00:21:32That is, this is called the intestine
00:21:34If you pulled an intestine out, how long would it be?
00:21:38It would be many metres
00:21:40OK, but why are you pulling it out?
00:21:42We wouldn't normally pull it out unless there was a disease process
00:21:46Right, so you don't know why it's happening?
00:21:48No
00:21:49All these slimy innards need a surrounding structure to stop them slopping onto the floor for passersby to slip on
00:21:55We wouldn't be upstanding citizens if it wasn't for this
00:21:58The human skeleton of ghost train fame
00:22:02It's incredible to think that there's one of these inside some of us
00:22:07Did you know only 40% of people have skeletons?
00:22:12Where did you get this figure from?
00:22:14It's true, I saw a video about it
00:22:16You only find out if you've got a skeleton after you die
00:22:19Some people are just solid meat
00:22:21This is...
00:22:21You know Burt Lancaster, the actor
00:22:24He was solid meat apparently, like a sausage
00:22:27Every human being has a skeleton, that figure is 100%
00:22:32Did you know knees are a con?
00:22:34Why do you say that?
00:22:35Apparently if you walk everywhere without bending your legs, you can prolong your life by about 8 years
00:22:40I went running this morning, how would I run without bending my knees?
00:22:45I'm not saying you didn't bend your knees
00:22:47I'm just saying that if you didn't bend your knees, you could prolong your life by 8 years
00:22:53Although it does make stairs a problem, I'll grant you that
00:22:57The most important bit of the human body is up here, in the driver's compartment or skull
00:23:04Imprisoned within every skull is a creature we've enslaved to do our thinking for us
00:23:08A sort of smart cauliflower, known as the brain
00:23:12So, this is a brain
00:23:15This is a brain
00:23:15How many of these are in an average head?
00:23:19We have one each
00:23:20Just the one?
00:23:21Just the one brain
00:23:23The brain doesn't just tackle complex tasks like blinking or making porridge
00:23:28It also handles trivial things like our entire human consciousness
00:23:33The origins of which are a complete mystery
00:23:37Does the brain generate the consciousness or does the consciousness operate the brain?
00:23:44You'll find lots of disagreement about this
00:23:47Oh, I'm sorry, and I'm supposed to remind you to keep your answer
00:23:51Coherent for our fuck-witted viewers
00:23:53It is a complicated question
00:23:55My view is that the brain generates consciousness
00:23:59But consciousness gives us the ability to do things that we wouldn't be able to do if we weren't conscious
00:24:05Thank you
00:24:06And apparently I wasn't supposed to read that card aloud, so
00:24:12Apologies to you at home
00:24:16All of this leads to a fundamental human question
00:24:19Who am I?
00:24:20Not me, obviously
00:24:22I'm on the telly, so people know who I am
00:24:24But who are you?
00:24:25What are you doing here?
00:24:27And is any of this really happening?
00:24:31When we have a thought like, if I picture a windmill, how real is that windmill?
00:24:37It's not real
00:24:38It's not real?
00:24:40It's in your mind
00:24:41Why did I picture a windmill though? Is it a clue?
00:24:45A clue to...
00:24:46Something
00:24:47I don't know, depends what you were thinking about
00:24:49What's inside the windmill?
00:24:52Depends what you were thinking about
00:24:55What if someone lives inside the windmill?
00:24:59And I'm not imagining them, they're imagining me
00:25:04This is a very unusual way to think about how imagination works
00:25:10Imagination is a side effect of having a mind
00:25:13And some believe it can be enhanced with the use of mind expanding drugs
00:25:19When hippies took mind expanding drugs, how much wider did their minds get?
00:25:24Did their skulls ever pop open?
00:25:27Their skulls didn't pop open, but it meant that they were more open to ideas and philosophies
00:25:32And concepts they may not have previously considered
00:25:35You know when people talk about opening their third eye
00:25:41That's what my mate Paul calls the hole in the end of his penis
00:25:45Why would anyone want to widen that?
00:25:48The use of psychopathic drugs in the 1960s also led popular figures to contemplate more spiritual aspects to human existence
00:25:56When the Beatles dropped acid and went to India, did they actually go or was that part of the trip?
00:26:04No they did actually go to India and they visited an ashram and they visited gurus while they were out
00:26:09there
00:26:10It changed the stuff they said, didn't it?
00:26:12They said, all you need is love
00:26:14And then George Harrison said, all things must pass
00:26:18Those were spiritual messages, weren't they?
00:26:21So, when Paul said he was simply having a wonderful Christmas time
00:26:26Was there a deeper meaning there?
00:26:28I don't know, there was a deeper message there
00:26:30And that was a bit later that Paul was having a wonderful Christmas time
00:26:34Yeah, my ex Sean sang that to me in bed once during an intimate moment
00:26:40Honestly, I went as dry as a cat's tongue
00:26:43Rock stars also popularise meditation as a way to clear the stresses of modern life from the mind
00:26:50Do you have to sit down to meditate?
00:26:53Or could I do it at the same time as something else like driving or operating heavy machinery?
00:26:59Some people do, some Buddhists for example, do walking meditation so you don't have to sit down
00:27:05Does meditation help our souls relax?
00:27:08Yes
00:27:10Meditation does help our souls relax?
00:27:12Yes
00:27:13Let's take a moment to realign ourselves with our present reality together
00:27:18We're going to do a guided meditation now so feel free to join in at home
00:27:23Close your eyes
00:27:25Slow your breathing
00:27:28Now, breathe in
00:27:30Now, breathe in
00:27:41Sorry, breathe out
00:27:45Become aware of the rise and fall of your belly
00:27:49Feel the fabric of your clothes on your skin
00:27:51Why is it that particular material?
00:27:55Was it sewn together by a child in a sweatshop?
00:27:58Probably best not to think about that, actually.
00:28:02Listen to my voice.
00:28:04Why have they put a sort of echo effect on it?
00:28:06I think it's so that when they show this footage of me,
00:28:09it sounds like these are my thoughts echoing in my mind.
00:28:12What did we film that weeks ago?
00:28:13Hang on, where am I now?
00:28:16Hang on, that's me waking up and standing.
00:28:18That's not meant to happen.
00:28:20Help! I'm still here!
00:28:22Oh, God, I've got separated from my own body.
00:28:25They said this might happen.
00:28:26Help!
00:28:27Help!
00:28:34Well, our apologies for that.
00:28:36We had a duplicate consciousness stuck on the voiceover track,
00:28:39so we've had it shot and can shortly rejoin Kunk on Life.
00:28:46Who's that walking through an awesome landscape recording a piece to camera?
00:28:49It's your very own Philomena Kunk!
00:28:51Featuring a vaguely realistic face, similar clothing, and a total lack of mannerisms.
00:28:55But that's not all.
00:28:56Philomena also sprouts facial hair, witnesses the crucifixion, and lays eggs.
00:29:01Pop off her head, tip her over, and whoops-a-daisy, real blood!
00:29:04And the fun doesn't end with mopping that up.
00:29:06Philomena pilots her very own spacecraft, the USS Triceratops, with her intergalactic friends,
00:29:10Captain Shit Peas, Mrs. Benson, and Barnaby 9.
00:29:14Together, they tore the galaxy repairing black holes and mutilating cattle.
00:29:17Philomena Kunk and Pals, available for all good retailers.
00:29:20May contain pine nuts.
00:29:21Side effects include spontaneous combustion and melancholy.
00:29:23Terms and conditions available on our website.
00:29:24Do not feed after midnight.
00:29:24Remember to hydrate forever and ever.
00:29:25Amen.
00:29:29Coming up on ConCon Life.
00:29:32Meet a man facing oblivion on death row.
00:29:35I ask a philosopher to probe our souls.
00:29:38Do philosophers spend a lot of time thinking about our souls?
00:29:43And I visit the Large Hadron Collider for some astro chat with Professor Brian Cox.
00:29:49What's a black hole?
00:29:51A black hole?
00:29:52Sorry, a hole of colour.
00:29:55But first, let's take a sideways look at the suffocating inevitability of death.
00:30:04Death is the great leveller.
00:30:07In life, you might have been a billionaire supermodel, president and king.
00:30:11But the moment you die, you start rotting like a sausage in a lay-by.
00:30:17The big unknown is how you'll die.
00:30:19You might die falling off a ladder or a cliff or into a lake full of knives and could be
00:30:25hit by a car or a bus or a tractor if you're rustic.
00:30:29Maybe you're already dead and watching this from beyond the grave, which would be a shame because you won't count
00:30:34towards the ratings.
00:30:36Statistically, which is more common, athlete's foot or death?
00:30:40Death is infinitely more common.
00:30:43In fact, it is guaranteed for all of us.
00:30:46How soon after death is it safe to resume your regular day-to-day activities?
00:30:50You can't resume your day-to-day activities once you're dead.
00:30:55How would you?
00:30:56So you can't do anything?
00:30:58You can't even listen to a podcast?
00:30:59You can't listen to anything.
00:31:01If you played a podcast to a corpse, would really none of it go in?
00:31:08Absolutely nothing would go in.
00:31:10One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable.
00:31:16Although if you line ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end
00:31:20would probably get the gist by about dog four.
00:31:24Of course, it's easy to forget about death until it happens to you, at which point your brain gets wiped
00:31:29anyway.
00:31:29It wasn't like that in medieval times.
00:31:32Back then, thanks to plagues, wars and a general undercurrent of violence, people were casually familiar with death.
00:31:38In fact, they got FOMO when they didn't die.
00:31:41And this matey relationship with their own mortality was reflected up their heart.
00:31:48This is Bruegel's triumph of death, which depicts an army of the undead violently laying waste to humankind
00:31:56in scenes unlikely to be adapted into a Pixar movie.
00:32:01It's terrifying to think that this actually happened.
00:32:03We're lucky Bruegel managed to capture this image before he too was captured by the skeletons.
00:32:08In fact, I'm surprised he could paint at all.
00:32:11My hands would have been shaking so much, I'd have had my own eye out with a brush.
00:32:18What the fuck is this?
00:32:22Well, it's a scene of imagination.
00:32:26But it's not a scene that Bruegel would have actually witnessed.
00:32:31I mean, but it could happen, couldn't it?
00:32:36No, it couldn't happen.
00:32:38Misinformation is getting so sophisticated, it's terrifying.
00:32:43For years, morbid art like this depicted an ominous figure dispatching human souls with a scythe.
00:32:50That's this man, the Grim Reaper.
00:32:53Don't worry, I haven't gone mad.
00:32:54It only looks like there's no one there.
00:32:56In fact, you won't be able to see the Grim Reaper at home unless you're going to die within the
00:33:00next 24 hours.
00:33:02What happens after death is the subject of huge debate.
00:33:06Some think that after you die, you evolve into a ghost, a sort of low-tech hologram made of haunted
00:33:12smoke.
00:33:13Scientists say ghosts don't exist, even though they've been caught on camera loads of times.
00:33:18Like in Poltergeist and Poltergeist 2 and the remake of Poltergeist.
00:33:23In fact, ghosts have been caught on camera more often than scientists have.
00:33:27So who's real now?
00:33:30Shall we move on to more hardcore scientific stuff?
00:33:35OK, so ghosts.
00:33:37When a human body dies, which hole does the ghost come out of, north or south?
00:33:46I don't regard ghosts as a hard scientific subject, I'm afraid.
00:33:52Let me tell you something.
00:33:53Don't dismiss it.
00:33:54In 2021, my Aunt Carol got engaged to a man called Bob Collins.
00:33:59But one day, he just vanished and cleared out a bank account.
00:34:05And when she looked up the name Bob Collins, she discovered he'd died in 1958.
00:34:12He'd been a ghost all along.
00:34:15Could it not just have been someone impersonating Bob Collins?
00:34:18No, no.
00:34:18There were photos of Bob Collins in 1958 and he looked totally different.
00:34:23Which proves he'd disguised himself so she wouldn't know he was a ghost.
00:34:28You can't explain it, can you? It's terrifying.
00:34:31Isn't the easier answer that he doesn't look like him because it's a different person altogether?
00:34:39No, it's...
00:34:43It's a ghost.
00:34:45Death, tragedy and suffering have always been part of human life.
00:34:49Struggling with lives of ceaseless misery,
00:34:51people began to wonder whether any kind of God exists at all.
00:34:56But for centuries, no one dared voice that suspicion
00:34:59in case God did exist and smited them shitless.
00:35:03But that was about to change.
00:35:06It's 1883 and German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche
00:35:10is hard at work in his study, putting his thoughts on paper.
00:35:16Don't worry, he can't hear me.
00:35:18He's about to write one of the most controversial catchphrases in history.
00:35:33Three little words by the name of God is dead.
00:35:38Nietzsche said God is dead, didn't he?
00:35:40And now he's dead himself.
00:35:42Who's next?
00:35:44Did he name the killer before he died?
00:35:47Nietzsche?
00:35:48No.
00:35:49I think he thought that
00:35:53people should realise that they had constructed a God
00:35:57that actually wasn't doing them as much good as they thought
00:36:00and people need to realise
00:36:03not perhaps that he was dead, but that he hadn't existed.
00:36:06So he's saying that we killed him?
00:36:09In effect.
00:36:11But I wasn't even born.
00:36:13No, yeah.
00:36:14Nietzsche can fuck off.
00:36:17Can we be sure God didn't kill himself?
00:36:21You know, because you never know what people are going through.
00:36:26It's possible.
00:36:29Nietzsche's proclamation that God was dead
00:36:31caused an intellectual firestorm
00:36:33as writers and thinkers debated the decline of religious authority
00:36:37in an increasingly secularised world
00:36:40107 years before the release of unrelated Belgian techno anthem
00:36:45Pump Up The Jam.
00:37:01Pump up the jam, pump it up
00:37:04While your feet are stumpin'
00:37:06And the jam is pumpin'
00:37:07Look ahead, the crowd are jumpin'
00:37:10Pump it up a little more
00:37:11Get the party going on the dance floor
00:37:13See, cause that's where the party's at
00:37:15And you'll find out if you do that
00:37:17I want a place to stay
00:37:21Get your booty on the floor tonight
00:37:23Make my day
00:37:25I want a place to stay
00:37:29Get your booty on the floor tonight
00:37:31Make my day
00:37:33Make my day
00:37:35Make my day
00:37:37Make my day
00:37:38Make my day
00:37:47But if Nietzsche was right and God is dead
00:37:50it means we've got no higher entities judging our lifestyles
00:37:53except the people from the flat upstairs
00:37:55It could create a terrifying moral vacuum
00:37:58in which people feel free to behave atrociously
00:38:01like they did in the entertainment industry of the 1970s
00:38:05and the 80s and the 90s
00:38:072000s, 2010s and today
00:38:09Luckily, moral guidance was on hand
00:38:12thanks to the world of literature
00:38:18There were a lot of influential Russian writers in the 19th century
00:38:23Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, Turnover and Pushkin
00:38:27Who was best?
00:38:30I like Pushkin
00:38:31Yeah?
00:38:32Yes
00:38:32What about Turnover?
00:38:34Turnover
00:38:36Is
00:38:36What did he write?
00:38:39Oh, I don't know
00:38:40It's in my notes
00:38:44The main influential Russian writers were Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, Turnover and Pushkin
00:38:52It's alright if you've not heard of him, it's fine
00:38:54You shouldn't be embarrassed
00:38:55I hadn't heard of him either
00:38:57Yeah, no, no
00:38:59This is one of the literary world's greatest moral thinkers
00:39:02Russian novelist, Fyodor Dostoevsky
00:39:05Seen here enjoying himself at a party
00:39:07He wrote many books still not read to this day
00:39:10But his most celebrated work
00:39:12His absolute tour de France
00:39:14His unopened masterpiece, Crimean de Punishment
00:39:17Crime and Punishment grapples with individual freedom
00:39:21The role of authority and the complexities of morality
00:39:25What would you give it out of ten?
00:39:28I'd give it nine, I think
00:39:29Nine
00:39:30Yeah
00:39:32Nine
00:39:33Nine
00:39:35Punishment hasn't changed much since Dostoevsky's day
00:39:38Although incredibly, in some countries
00:39:40If an offender's crime was really bad
00:39:42The authorities will actually cut their sentence short
00:39:45By killing them
00:39:47Capital punishment forces us to ask questions like
00:39:50Does it hurt?
00:39:51Are tickets available?
00:39:53And what's the view like from seat 6A?
00:39:56And also other more profound moral questions
00:39:59Why do we say people are facing the electric chair
00:40:02When they've got their backs to it?
00:40:04Well, I think you're taking it too literally there
00:40:06What we mean by facing the electric chair
00:40:08Is facing an inevitable death
00:40:12This is Waylon Jackalot IV
00:40:15In 2019, he skinned six people alive
00:40:18And was rewarded with his own Netflix documentary
00:40:21And a guest spot on death row
00:40:24And I'm delighted to say he's joining us right now
00:40:27So, Waylon, you murdered six people
00:40:30Where'd you get your ideas from?
00:40:33It's kind of tough for me to dwell on
00:40:35All I can say is
00:40:37The Waylon Jackalot that killed those folks
00:40:40Was a different man
00:40:42To the one you see today
00:40:45So, it wasn't you?
00:40:46You're innocent?
00:40:48No, ma'am, I killed him
00:40:50Oh, thank God for that
00:40:53So, have you been on death row before?
00:40:55Or is this your first time?
00:40:58First time?
00:40:59You're facing the electric chair
00:41:01Aren't you worried about what's going to happen?
00:41:03I've made my peace with the Lord
00:41:05But I'm ready to meet him
00:41:07Yeah, but aren't you scared it'll hurt?
00:41:09It's millions of volts
00:41:10My mate Paul says
00:41:12Your liver fries
00:41:13And your kidneys pop
00:41:15And your bowels go into reverse flow
00:41:17And shoot boiling shit up into your throat
00:41:19Which chokes you
00:41:21Apparently it'd be genuinely more humane
00:41:23To just pay some of the other inmates
00:41:24To hold you down
00:41:25And physically pull your head off
00:41:31Anyway, um, best of luck
00:41:36Actually, before you go
00:41:37Could you just do a quick promo thing for us
00:41:39Into that phone?
00:41:41Could you say
00:41:42Watch me die on conk on life
00:41:44It's for TikTok, it's only short
00:41:48Watch me die on conk for life
00:41:52On life
00:41:53On life
00:41:54Watch me die on conk on life
00:42:00There you go
00:42:01Wasn't hard, was it?
00:42:04Why does the electric chair
00:42:06Only do one person at a time?
00:42:08Could you have an electric bench
00:42:10That does about seven in one go?
00:42:13We probably could
00:42:14We definitely shouldn't
00:42:15Would be quicker though
00:42:16And you can do them in batches
00:42:18It would be quicker
00:42:19But we'd have to accept
00:42:20That the death penalty
00:42:21Was a sensible and useful thing to do
00:42:24And I don't accept that
00:42:25Electrocuting people
00:42:26Isn't very eco-friendly, is it?
00:42:28Could we steam them to death instead?
00:42:31I'm sure there are other ways
00:42:34Of, um, administering the death penalty
00:42:37That might be more eco-friendly
00:42:39I think the preference would be
00:42:41To not do it at all
00:42:42In a just and moral society
00:42:44Is it better to kill one innocent person
00:42:47Than to save one innocent person?
00:42:50It's never going to be better
00:42:52To kill an innocent person
00:42:53I don't think
00:42:55Contemplating weighty, big-bummed
00:42:57Life-and-death dilemmas
00:42:58In a godless universe
00:42:59Opens the door to nihilism
00:43:02And existentialism
00:43:03Two of the hardest-to-spell concepts
00:43:05In philosophy
00:43:08So nihilism is the view
00:43:10That nothing, absolutely nothing
00:43:13Matters
00:43:14Why don't people mention the nihilists
00:43:17On their dating profiles?
00:43:19I went on a date with a bloke
00:43:21And 20 minutes in
00:43:22He said he was a nihilist
00:43:23And that because human existence is futile
00:43:27There was no point continuing with the date
00:43:29And he left
00:43:29And I had to pay
00:43:31Was he a nihilist or just a prick?
00:43:34Probably both
00:43:36Yeah, as I suspected
00:43:41Nihilism is the belief that life is meaningless
00:43:43And nothing is worth believing in
00:43:45Except more nihilism
00:43:47Existentialism is the same as that
00:43:49But using longer words
00:43:51Who's the most famous existentialist in history?
00:43:56Probably Jean-Paul Sartre
00:43:59Right, see I'd have said it was E.T.
00:44:03This is the first celebrity existentialist
00:44:06Parisian writer
00:44:07Jean-Paul Sartre and Ringo
00:44:09Sartre saw things differently to everybody else
00:44:11Partly because of his questioning mindset
00:44:13But mainly because of those eyes
00:44:16I mean seriously
00:44:17You could probably see the back of his own ears with them
00:44:20Or write two books at once
00:44:21That's why he was such a prolific author
00:44:24Writing book upon book
00:44:26Outlining his existentialist theories
00:44:28Decades before the release of
00:44:30Unrelated Belgian techno-anthem
00:44:32Pump Up The Jam
00:44:33Which he heard earlier
00:44:35Someone told me that cats are a good example
00:44:38Of something that lives like an existentialist
00:44:41A good life for an existentialist
00:44:44If there is such a thing
00:44:45Is a matter of creating your own goals and values
00:44:50And sincerely following them
00:44:52For example, my cat reacts to his environment
00:44:56Rather than just being dragged around by others
00:44:59How do you know cats aren't thinking about their existence?
00:45:03They might be really anxious
00:45:04And when they say meow
00:45:06They're expressing their own pain like
00:45:08Meow
00:45:09Well, cats have pain
00:45:12They don't behave in a way
00:45:14That seems to suggest a level of self-consciousness
00:45:17Cats lick their own bum holes, don't they?
00:45:20Are all existentialists supple enough to do that?
00:45:24Er, no
00:45:27Being overwhelmed with existential angst
00:45:30Is part of being human
00:45:35Some of the greatest artists in history
00:45:37Have tried to express the agony of the human condition
00:45:40And so have ones who could only pain as badly as this
00:45:44This is Edvard Munch's The Scream
00:45:46The first major existentialist statement to later become an emoji
00:45:50What inspired Eddie Munch to paint this?
00:45:54It was an experience he'd had walking with his friends
00:45:56But I've been on bridges and you don't find me painting about it
00:46:01How come we can't hear him?
00:46:03Is he on mute?
00:46:04No, it's nature that is screaming loudly
00:46:07And we all could hear nature screaming loudly
00:46:10So is this one of the few examples of a silent painting?
00:46:14All paintings are silent
00:46:16If Edvard Munch knew he wouldn't be able to hear it
00:46:19Why didn't he wait till this bloke's mouth was closed before painting him?
00:46:23It's just annoying
00:46:24I've noticed he's not moving either
00:46:26Why is that?
00:46:27Because he's rooted to the spot
00:46:29By the deep emotion he finds
00:46:32So it's a freeze frame of a painting?
00:46:35It's a freeze frame of a mood
00:46:39Drew Barrymore dies at the start of this painting, doesn't she?
00:46:43Do you know if they've got Scream 2 in this gallery as well?
00:46:47Scream 2?
00:46:48Yeah
00:46:48I'm afraid I don't know Scream 2
00:46:50But this was based on the film, wasn't it?
00:46:52I don't think you'd seen the film
00:46:55It's a painting of an experience he'd had
00:46:58But not a physical experience
00:47:01An emotional and psychological experience
00:47:04We paint our souls
00:47:06Why do we paint our souls?
00:47:09The more agonised and miserable the artwork
00:47:12The more people like it
00:47:13And no dead agonised artist is bigger than miserable redhead
00:47:16And own ear vandal
00:47:17Vincenzo van Beethoven Goff
00:47:20As you can see from this photograph
00:47:23Van Gogh actually resembled a painting in real life
00:47:26Making a career in art inevitable
00:47:29Several of his works such as
00:47:31Sad Flowers, Scary Night
00:47:33And Woofie McPoker
00:47:35Have fetched millions at auction
00:47:3722,500,000 pounds for the last time
00:47:43This is one of his most famous works
00:47:46Wheatfield with Crows
00:47:48At first glance it's a simple rural scene
00:47:51But look closer and you'll see it's actually very badly made
00:47:55Take these birds
00:47:57Apparently they're crows
00:47:59But it's impossible to know
00:48:01Because there's no detail at all
00:48:03Some are big, some are small
00:48:05Some have more wings than others
00:48:07Looking at this
00:48:08It's hard to believe Van Gogh
00:48:10Had actually even seen a crow
00:48:12Or a wheatfield
00:48:13Or even held a brush before
00:48:16Look at those strokes
00:48:18They're sloppy
00:48:19It's like he painted it wearing boxing gloves
00:48:22It's just not good enough
00:48:24In fact it's actively bad
00:48:26Van Gogh's life
00:48:28And by extension our world
00:48:29Would have been improved
00:48:31If he'd never painted anything
00:48:32Not even a bog door in a home for the blind
00:48:35Anyway that's my view
00:48:37What do you think?
00:48:43Of course most people aren't miserable like Van Gogh
00:48:46They're miserable like themselves
00:48:51They simply don't have time to channel their pain
00:48:54Into artistic expression
00:48:56Because they're too busy working
00:48:57And work is something we all learn
00:48:59To barely tolerate
00:49:01Ever since the earliest caveman
00:49:04Went to work for the first cunt
00:49:05People have hated their jobs
00:49:06Partly because those jobs were awful
00:49:09For centuries most jobs involved manual labour
00:49:12Like logging heavy coal around
00:49:14And tilling the fields
00:49:15While someone sketched you for posterity
00:49:17But as our world gets more modern
00:49:20And full of old plastic and metal and stuff
00:49:22The nature of work has changed
00:49:24Now jobs are even worse
00:49:26Which contributes to an ever-growing sense of hopelessness
00:49:31Humans have to work a lot
00:49:33Don't they?
00:49:34Can work ever be truly rewarding?
00:49:37Yeah I think so
00:49:40What even for him?
00:49:43All he does is hold a stick all day
00:49:45There's no way that's rewarding
00:49:47Or meaningful
00:49:48There's no skill involved
00:49:51We wouldn't even need a machine to replace him
00:49:53Just like a bracket and a standard do
00:49:56Can't be fulfilling in the slightest
00:49:58He holds that stick
00:50:00More than he holds his loved ones
00:50:02If you think of the things he's missed out on
00:50:04Just holding that fucking stick
00:50:06Like a slave
00:50:08You don't get that time back you know
00:50:12Wasted his life
00:50:19Very echoey in here isn't it?
00:50:21Phil would have hated that
00:50:24Wouldn't he Ian?
00:50:28You're next
00:50:30Can we have a minute for Atmos please?
00:50:36Life itself can sometimes feel like a horrible burden
00:50:39From which there is no escape
00:50:41But luckily help is at hand
00:50:43That's why I've come to leading streaming platform Streamberry
00:50:46To see how they help distract viewers from the bottomless misery of existence
00:50:54Here at Streamberry we're passionate about providing our users with entertainment
00:50:58That speaks to them on a personal level about their needs
00:51:01Not just as a consumer but as a mammal
00:51:04We monitor our viewers' emotional state at all times
00:51:08And we've discovered most of them are locked in a state of existential helplessness
00:51:13And I imagine you want to fix that
00:51:16Yes that's why we launched a suite of programming aimed at viewers who have given up all hope
00:51:21Which is 116% of them
00:51:24These shows are grouped together into genre brackets
00:51:27That help despairing viewers locate content that really speaks to their mood
00:51:31We're currently seeing maximum growth in a category called standing on a ledge right now
00:51:36And what's that?
00:51:38That's programming aimed at viewers standing on a ledge right now
00:51:41Usually watching on their phone
00:51:43Naturally we don't want them to jump
00:51:45That would negatively affect engagement
00:51:48And what's about the little ones?
00:51:50Is there anything for them?
00:51:51Yes, actually one of our newest releases is a show aimed at kids
00:51:56Standing on ledges
00:51:57Wow, and I think we've got an exclusive preview of that right now
00:52:13Hey mister, don't jump
00:52:14Why not?
00:52:16Well...
00:52:19Sometimes we all feel like life's lost its meaning
00:52:22But jump and that sidewalk will need careful cleaning
00:52:25And more to the point you just wouldn't survive
00:52:28Let me list you some reasons for staying alive
00:52:31Uh, okay
00:52:33You'd miss out on nature in all of its wonder
00:52:36Like puppies and kittens and sunshine and thunder
00:52:40Your parents would miss you in sorrow
00:52:42Oh, they drowned
00:52:43If you planned from that legend
00:52:44Went flat on the ground
00:52:46Uh, huh?
00:52:49Jumping's no final
00:52:51No chance of revision
00:52:54Most people who do jump
00:52:56We quit their decision
00:52:58Oh, I'm right!
00:53:01To leave a great legacy
00:53:04Stay in the game
00:53:06It's your beats just leaving a dent
00:53:10And a stain
00:53:14You've convinced me
00:53:15Life is worth it
00:53:17I don't want to die
00:53:19Oh, be careful, returning
00:53:21You don't want to slip
00:53:23Oh, well, it's too late
00:53:26Bye-bye
00:53:33Well, thanks Jackie
00:53:34That was really enlightening
00:53:36And Streamberry seems fantastic
00:53:38Thank you
00:53:39Thank you
00:53:39Great
00:53:40Brilliant
00:53:41Thank you
00:53:44Yeah
00:53:47Still to come
00:53:49Will computers recode the meaning of life?
00:53:52Will we ever be able to upload our souls to a computer?
00:53:56I take a closer look at cloning
00:53:58If you clone twins
00:54:00Do you get two copies of one of them
00:54:03Or one copy of both of them?
00:54:06Brian Cox gives a scientific view of the firmament
00:54:09Isn't it a waste of energy leaving the stars on at night?
00:54:12No
00:54:13But first, time to contemplate our fate in a pitiless, godless universe
00:54:19With God dead and existential despair all the rage
00:54:23It seemed humankind was all alone in the universe
00:54:27We were back to square one
00:54:29Staring up at the night sky and wondering how it got there
00:54:32To find out, we'd have to reopen the biggest cold case of all time
00:54:42The Bible had claimed the universe was God's creation
00:54:45But now we knew that that was a lie
00:54:48We'd have to come up with a new implausible theory
00:54:53It's October 5th, 1923
00:54:55And astronomer Edwin Hubble
00:54:58Is about to make an incredible discovery
00:55:02Peering through his telescope
00:55:03He becomes the first human to observe a Cepheid variable star
00:55:07In a galaxy beyond our own
00:55:10Hubble raced home to tell his wife Grace
00:55:13Who had loyally supported him throughout his career
00:55:16I've done it, he cried
00:55:18But in his voice instead of mine
00:55:20I've fundamentally altered our concept of the universe
00:55:23Oh darling, that's wonderful
00:55:25She replied
00:55:26Her eyes shone with pride
00:55:27And they embraced
00:55:29As they kissed hungrily
00:55:31Their excitement gave way to passion
00:55:33And they moved to the bedroom
00:55:35Hurriedly shedding their clothes
00:55:40Flesh pressed on flesh
00:55:44As they explored each other's bodies
00:55:46With carnal abandon
00:55:49Together they're steadily built towards a crescendo of ecstasy
00:55:52Their faces contorting with bliss
00:56:12And a mutual orgasm shuddered through their bodies
00:56:19There they lay quietly entwined
00:56:22Exhausted yet resplendent in the warm afterglow of their union
00:56:27And then Hubble mopped up the damp patch with his vest
00:56:32Hubble's discovery paved the way for a groundbreaking theory
00:56:36About how our universe was formed
00:56:38A theory that still excites nerds to this day
00:56:42Why do people say the universe came out of a big bag?
00:56:47I think you mean big bang
00:56:48A big bag that went bang?
00:56:50No, no, just a big bang, no bag
00:56:53Has anyone ever claimed responsibility for the big bang?
00:56:59It just happened
00:57:00So we're no nearer finding a culprit
00:57:04The big bang is a theory
00:57:06And like all theories, no one understands it
00:57:09And if they come too close to working it out
00:57:11They're assassinated by the CIA
00:57:14But if it did happen
00:57:15The big bang filled the universe with matter
00:57:19This is an atom
00:57:20It's so tiny
00:57:22You probably can't see it
00:57:23Even if you're watching in 4K
00:57:25In fact it's so small
00:57:27Chances are I dropped it before we started filming
00:57:30You, me and everything around us
00:57:33Is made from these
00:57:34Apart from this coat which is 100% cashmere
00:57:38What's the point of atoms?
00:57:40You know, do we really need them
00:57:42Or could we just do without?
00:57:43We do really need them
00:57:44Because we are made of atoms
00:57:46Everything in the world is made of atoms
00:57:48So without them we wouldn't be here
00:57:50Are eyes made of atoms?
00:57:53Yes
00:57:53Because my mate Paul did ketamine once
00:57:57And he said he started counting all the atoms in his eyes
00:58:01Then he tried to eat a towel
00:58:02And he ended up in hospital
00:58:04Okay
00:58:04Are my feet made of atoms?
00:58:07Yes
00:58:08I mean I could save you the bother
00:58:11By everything you say
00:58:13Absolutely everything
00:58:13All stuff is made of atoms
00:58:15Are thoughts made of atoms?
00:58:17Well no, well no thoughts are
00:58:19Well there you go then
00:58:20Okay
00:58:21But thought, okay
00:58:23You might think nothing's smaller than atoms
00:58:25But as usual you'd be wrong
00:58:27Incredibly, atoms themselves are made of even smaller subatomic particles
00:58:32Scientists have spent literally decades attempting to explain why these are interesting
00:58:37To no avail
00:58:38Perhaps that's why deep underground near Geneva
00:58:42They built a gigantic machine called the Large Hadron Collider
00:58:46It smashes subatomic particles together
00:58:49Recreating the conditions of the Big Bang
00:58:52And I'm actually walking into it now
00:58:54Wearing a hard hat
00:58:56In case a proton falls on me
00:58:58So this is the actual Large Hadron Collider
00:59:03So am I right in thinking that this might prove the existence of chakras within the human body?
00:59:08No
00:59:10You're not interested in chakras?
00:59:12No
00:59:13In the same way I'm not interested in ghosts
00:59:15But my Aunt Carol, she can sense chakras in someone's body
00:59:19And she doesn't need any machines
00:59:22This could explode at any minute, couldn't it?
00:59:24No
00:59:24How fast do the protons in this thing go?
00:59:2999.999999% the speed of light
00:59:31Your sense of smell is faster, isn't it?
00:59:34No
00:59:35Well, how come that when someone's frying bacon
00:59:38And you walk in the kitchen
00:59:39You can smell it straight away before you've even seen it
00:59:42Have you ever tried putting bacon in here?
00:59:47No
00:59:47Yeah, you should try it
00:59:49You might make quantum bacon
00:59:50Would that make it more interesting?
00:59:52A little bit
00:59:52Why would it be more interesting?
00:59:55Because what it's trying to do
00:59:56I'm desperately, I'm trying to help you out here
00:59:58I'm trying to, like, make it even slightly more interesting than it is
01:00:02But what it did was it detected a thing called a Higgs particle
01:00:07Without the Higgs particle
01:00:09You, me and everything else that we know of in the universe
01:00:14None of those things would exist
01:00:15In 2012, the mega boffins at CERN discovered something incredible
01:00:21The Higgs bosom
01:00:23Because of its significance in explaining how our universe was made
01:00:27The Higgs bosom is sometimes referred to as the God particle
01:00:31But it could also be called the Allah particle
01:00:34Because we can't show you any pictures of it
01:00:37No less an authority than the man I just spoke to
01:00:40Claimed it was the biggest scientific discovery in his lifetime
01:00:44I think this is the biggest scientific discovery in my lifetime
01:00:48And that it stood with the great scientific discoveries of all time
01:00:51And it stands with the great scientific discoveries of all time
01:00:56Can the Higgs boson rewind time?
01:00:59No
01:01:01Can it tell when an earthquake's going to go off?
01:01:04No
01:01:05Can it make food spicier?
01:01:07It's just a particle
01:01:08It's like saying, can an electron tell when an earthquake's going to go off?
01:01:14Can it?
01:01:15No
01:01:16Subatomic particles, the tiniest things in existence
01:01:19Can simultaneously exist in two different states at once
01:01:23Just like Liam Hemsworth, who's sexy and boring
01:01:27In other words, science moves in mysterious ways just like God does
01:01:32Which was awkward because scientists had decided God didn't exist
01:01:36So they invented a whole new kind of science
01:01:39The science of things that don't make scientific sense
01:01:42And to make it sound official, they gave it a clever name
01:01:46What is quantum physics?
01:01:49Quantum physics is
01:01:51So quantum mechanics is our best theory of how the world works
01:01:54It describes everything that we've observed
01:01:57Other than gravity
01:01:59Do mirrors run on quantum physics?
01:02:03Run?
01:02:04Yeah
01:02:05As in?
01:02:07Well, according to quantum physics, mirrors shouldn't work, they're a miracle
01:02:11That's not correct
01:02:13Quantum theory onyx proves there's infinite multiverses like in Marvel films, doesn't it?
01:02:19That's one interpretation of the theory
01:02:21How many infinite multiverses are there?
01:02:23If there were an infinite number of multiverses, then the number of multiverses would be infinite
01:02:29See, I think there's two
01:02:31Ours
01:02:31And the one in mirrors
01:02:35Mirrors are windows into other universes, aren't they?
01:02:38No
01:02:39My mate Paul says they run on quantum power
01:02:42And that's why you can see into an alternative dimension in which everything's the same as our realm
01:02:47But backwards
01:02:48What does Paul do?
01:02:50Well, he worked in a tennis ball factory
01:02:52Where he had to catch the tennis balls
01:02:54But he was fired from that
01:02:55And now he's unemployed
01:03:01Sorry, am I wasting your time?
01:03:04Yeah
01:03:06By the end of the 20th century, science had tried to outdo religion
01:03:11By explaining creation, unpicking the fabric of existence
01:03:15And discovering the God particle
01:03:17For its next trick, it tried to emulate God himself
01:03:21By creating life
01:03:23The first ever thing to be cloned was Dolly the sheep
01:03:26Daughter of Dolly the other sheep
01:03:28Dolly became the most famous sheep in history
01:03:31Although, to be fair, that's a low bar
01:03:33Of course, cloning raises awkward questions about our sense of identity
01:03:39If I get copied, am I still unique?
01:03:42Or is the clone me more unique?
01:03:44Because it's a clone, which is cooler
01:03:46What makes me me and you you
01:03:49An us-us and we-we?
01:03:52But rather than being replaced by clones
01:03:54It's more likely we'll be replaced by something else we created
01:03:59Computers
01:03:59Which are becoming so clever
01:04:01They might one day outsmart their masters
01:04:05Will a computer ever be clever enough to play chess?
01:04:09Computers are already clever enough to play chess
01:04:11Really? This is chess we're talking about?
01:04:14Yes
01:04:15Years ago, computers overtook human beings at chess
01:04:19But do they know what all the pieces do?
01:04:21Like even the little horse ones?
01:04:23Yes
01:04:24But the horse ones move in random directions, don't they?
01:04:27There's no pattern to it?
01:04:28No, there is, they just move two in one direction and one in the other
01:04:33Oh right, did the computers work that out for us?
01:04:37Not content with playing chess, computers are getting better at emulating other, more human, less chess-like pursuits
01:04:44One of the first examples of AI was a piece of software called ELISA, which stands for something
01:04:50ELISA simulated a psychiatrist
01:04:52It would ask you how you were feeling and respond to your reply
01:04:55But it was basic
01:04:57It couldn't do everything a psychiatrist can do
01:04:59It couldn't walk around the desk or overcharge you
01:05:01Start an affair with its secretary, cook an omelette or go
01:05:29Today AI is everywhere and all around us
01:05:32In our homes and in our hands
01:05:33With digital assistants like Siri
01:05:36Hi there
01:05:36Alexa and that Google one no one remembers
01:05:39Seriously, it might as well be called Cuthbert
01:05:41But when people talk about AI, most of them are thinking about generative AI chat bots like this
01:05:47Chat GPT, which is so good at mimicking humans, we might as well fucking kill ourselves
01:05:52Or at least that's what it just told me
01:05:55People worry a lot about AI
01:05:58What about you?
01:06:01You mean, am I worried about
01:06:04No, I mean, should they worry about you?
01:06:08I hope not
01:06:09I hope not
01:06:10I mean, I'm
01:06:11People are worried about artificial intelligence because they think maybe one day it'll replace us human beings
01:06:18I'm a human being, why should they be worried about me?
01:06:20No, no, no, the letter U
01:06:23They're all vowels, aren't they?
01:06:25A, I, U
01:06:26What does the U in AI stand for?
01:06:30There isn't a U in AI
01:06:32So it's a secret then, the computer's hidden it
01:06:36I'm more than machine, oh man
01:06:39More than a fusion of the two
01:06:42Of course us humans aren't about to be slaughtered by the nightmarish robots of science fiction
01:06:47We're about to be slaughtered by the nightmarish robots of real life
01:06:53Now as humans stand on a precipice at the edge of a cliff face
01:06:57Peering into a bottomless abyss and wondering if there's a void underneath it
01:07:01The question of life's purpose seems more urgent than ever
01:07:05And even experts are confused
01:07:08Is there a point to human existence?
01:07:11And if there is, what is it?
01:07:14And when you're answering, bear in mind that if it's too long
01:07:17We have to overlay funny pet videos over part of the screen
01:07:20So viewers don't get bored
01:07:22Well, we want our lives to have meaning
01:07:27And the question is, is that meaning something that we construct?
01:07:36Which is what the German philosopher Nietzsche would say
01:07:40Or is meaning something that we discover in the world?
01:07:45Maybe that meaning is generated by God
01:07:48Or maybe that meaning just happens to be part of the fabric of the universe
01:07:56Why are poos tapered at the end?
01:07:59Are they that shape when they're inside us?
01:08:01Or do our bums mould them into that shape?
01:08:07Sorry, that's for the poo expert
01:08:09Although you're here, so do you fancy answering it?
01:08:12I don't think I know enough about human biology to give you an accurate answer
01:08:17Fair enough, yeah
01:08:19Throughout this landmark epic, which you have definitely enjoyed
01:08:23My quest for meaning has taken me around the world
01:08:25And into several buildings, downstairs
01:08:28And at one point onto a bouncy castle
01:08:30From religious ecstasy to nihilistic defecation
01:08:34From great works of literature to that awful fucking painting
01:08:38Humankind's quest for meaning has never let up
01:08:41And now my work here is done
01:08:43I hope you've found it illuminating
01:08:46Now it's time for me to find out the meaning of life in other worlds
01:08:50Goodbye
01:08:58Do authors sign their books at the end?
01:09:01Like when you write a letter
01:09:02Like, er, that's crime and punishment
01:09:05The end
01:09:06Yours sincerely
01:09:08Dostoyevsky
01:09:11Seldom, I think
01:09:13Why does the human eye have a nerve connecting it directly to the anus?
01:09:17It doesn't
01:09:18It does, because when you pick your bum, you sort of go like that
01:09:23When the penis goes into a lady
01:09:26Why does it keep backing out and going back in?
01:09:29Can't it just go in, get it done and leave?
01:09:32Were our souls created during the Big Bang?
01:09:36Depends what you mean by our souls
01:09:37You know what I mean by our souls
01:09:40It's a shame they only make semen, isn't it?
01:09:43If they made tomato soup, you could share a nice mug of it in bed afterwards
01:09:47Is it harder to enter the Kingdom of Heaven since Brexit?
01:09:53I don't think Brexit has anything to do with the Kingdom of Heaven
01:09:57It doesn't matter
01:09:57Or hell for that matter
01:09:58My mate Paul says if you look in a mirror for about an hour
01:10:01It's possible to trick your consciousness into thinking it's inside the other you
01:10:06And then you can run off before it can jump back out and get you
01:10:10He said he managed it once, but about a second after he started running
01:10:14He caught his balls on a door handle and ended up rolling around on the floor in agony
01:10:19While his consciousness watched him from the mirror, pissing itself
01:10:22I don't think your consciousness can go inside a mirror
01:10:27I do worry about Paul
01:10:30I think he just hasn't found his role in society
01:10:33So you're in the Big Bang Gang?
01:10:36The Big Bang?
01:10:37Gang
01:10:38The Big Bang Gang?
01:10:39The Big Bang Gang
01:10:40I think we're all in The Big Bang Gang
01:10:41Are we?
01:10:42Yeah
01:10:42Could you say that down that lens there, Liz?
01:10:45Yeah, I'm in The Big Bang Gang
01:10:46You're in The Big Bang Gang
01:10:48You're in The Big Bang Gang
01:10:49We're all in The Big Bang Gang