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00:13It set the whole world on fire.
00:17Oh, hell yeah.
00:21Yes!
00:35Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39My name's Jeremy Wells, and in the game of musical chairs we played before the show, I got the big
00:45chair.
00:46Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I get to be the Taskmaster.
00:52And joining me in their smaller, worse chairs are five comedians who would gladly be my ottoman.
01:00If it got them five points.
01:02Please, give it up for Dave Whare.
01:06Huane Hotemi.
01:09Morgana O'Reilly.
01:12Rhys Mathewson.
01:15And Rose Matafeo.
01:19And to my left, he's the nesting coffee table that fits under me perfectly.
01:24It's, ladies and gentlemen, Paul Williams.
01:30Okay, is it time for the prize task?
01:32It certainly is, Jeremy.
01:33Tonight we've asked our comedians to bring in the best piece of paper.
01:39Morgana, let's start with you.
01:41What did you bring in for us?
01:42The best piece of paper is a fresh, untouched paper pad.
01:48And so I've bought in the Sennelier Papier Artist, 100% cotton, 300 GSM, hot pressed paper pad.
01:58This, it's not even funny.
01:59I mean, I don't know, like, this show is supposed to be funny.
02:01This is not funny.
02:02It was also really expensive.
02:04That's expensive.
02:05I know my paper.
02:06I'm a huge fan of the Clairefontaine cookbook.
02:09The what?
02:10The Clairefontaine cookbook.
02:12Are you saying cookbook wrong?
02:14Cookbook.
02:16Rose, what did you bring in?
02:18You're off to get a cheeseburger, yeah?
02:21With your mates in the car, the Toyotiaris.
02:28You got that cheeseburger, you open it up.
02:31Guess what you go for first?
02:32Not the cheeseburger, but the wrap of the cheeseburger comes in where there's a little bit of cheese still attached
02:38to the paper.
02:39Yeah, here we go.
02:41Let's put it.
02:45Jeremy, look me in the eye and tell me you're not sucking on that.
02:50Yeah, come on.
02:54I'm trying to appeal to the Jeremy of, you know, back in the day.
02:58Yeah.
02:59In the Toyota Yaris.
03:00The cool Jeremy.
03:01Yeah, exactly.
03:02The one we all fell in love with before this came.
03:08Dave, what did you bring in?
03:10Well, I brought in something really old.
03:13It's called Mail.
03:15And it was for a test I'd done.
03:17And it was for Pacific Island men to get a poo stick.
03:20And so I did it.
03:22And they sent me back this.
03:23And it's a bowel screening test kit result.
03:27And the bit of paper says that it was all negative.
03:34So I was really excited because that means I can get up to mischief now.
03:42I've brought in an improved Mona Lisa.
03:47You'd probably be like, oh, well, what's better about it?
03:50I've added myself into Aetherius.
03:55Oh, wow.
03:56I know you guys are going to be like, oh, he's used AI to put him in there.
04:00But I actually did that myself.
04:04Reece, what did you bring in?
04:05So I have brought in a treasure map.
04:08Where the X is, somewhere in Auckland, I have buried a piece of treasure.
04:13That is 100% gold and that is a diamond in the eye.
04:17So just for a bit of scale, here it is next to a banana.
04:25Look, the budget doesn't extend far when you're buying real gold and diamonds.
04:29But yeah, whoever wins, I can take them on the treasure hunt day and they can find it somewhere in
04:34Auckland.
04:35But they are now, I guess, in a hunt with everyone who's seen the treasure map on telly.
04:39OK, I'm going to give one point to Morgana because it's not really a piece of paper, it's a pad,
04:45firstly.
04:45There's so many pieces of paper, OK, OK.
04:49I'm going to go two points for Hawane because even though that thing's going to give me nightmares, you still
04:54made it.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Out of a piece of paper.
04:59Rose, essentially, you brought in a piece of rubbish.
05:01What the heck?
05:03But I like a little bit of cheese on there, so I'll give you three points.
05:07Reece, fun idea, but I hate organised fun, but still, I like the little prize task there.
05:13And I'm going to give five points to Dave Farnay for a clear bowel screening test.
05:21They're perfect for you, buddy.
05:23I also noticed on the form, your middle name, David Rodney.
05:30Who would have picked him for a Rodney?
05:32You've been hiding that from us for a long time now.
05:35I have nothing but shame right now.
05:38You were just talking to your arsehole.
05:43Let's get into the first proper task of the show.
05:46Some tasks have all the bells and whistles.
05:49This task has one bell.
06:01Oh, poor.
06:05Cool.
06:05Bubbles.
06:06Lovely jubbly.
06:07Bubbles, bicycle, banana, a lot of bees.
06:12Ring the bell in the study.
06:14If you touch anything that begins with a bee, you must start again.
06:19And an hour will be added to your time.
06:22An hour?
06:23Fastest wins.
06:24Your time starts now.
06:27You want a snack for the road?
06:29Hell nah.
06:34Okay.
06:36Well, that seems pretty simple.
06:37Just don't touch anything, starting with a bee.
06:40Correct.
06:40Okay.
06:41Who have we got first?
06:42To begin, banging the bell so it blares brightly, but bypassing the big bad belongings, beginning
06:47with a bee, it's the beautiful boys.
06:52Oh, you dog!
06:56I got this.
06:58Oh, big Wednesday.
06:59Ow, Satan!
07:01Get thee hither!
07:04Make sure my pants or my bum doesn't touch anything.
07:11Your pants touched the bath.
07:14Oh, f***!
07:16Right off!
07:21Ah, bugger!
07:24That's how she'll fall.
07:25Oh, no!
07:27Rubes coming off, glasses coming off.
07:29These are real baggy, huh?
07:31Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
07:32Okay, here we go.
07:35You touched the bath.
07:36And the bench.
07:39You touched the bench.
07:40Oh, the bench?
07:41Yeah.
07:47And your name is Ben?
07:49If you shake my hand, I'll ring the bell.
07:51Thank you for the offer.
07:52I'll just push forward.
07:58Oh, whoa.
08:01Oh, no!
08:03No!
08:05Indiana Jones.
08:11It's just like Indiana Jones.
08:13I believe it was Archimedes who said, give me a big enough lever and I can shift the world.
08:19No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
08:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:26I touched your legs.
08:27Oh!
08:31Your shorts just touched the ball.
08:33Oh, you're joking me, Paul.
08:36Are you happy now?
08:38Yeah.
08:44Oh, you buggers.
08:52Sorry.
08:54You shiver.
08:57I'll be honest.
08:58Bike to foot.
08:59Where's the bell, Paul?
09:00It's in the study.
09:01Where in the study is it, Paul?
09:05Do you want to read a book?
09:06No.
09:07Where's the bell?
09:08It's in the study.
09:12Paul.
09:14What's going on?
09:17Stop the clock.
09:18If it's in a box, I will crack my pants.
09:23Don't do that.
09:29I've stopped the clock.
09:31Where's the bell?
09:34Sorry to that brain.
09:35Oh, no!
09:37Are you kidding me?
09:40I've stopped the clock.
09:44Oh!
09:47Rhys, have you seen a bell before?
09:51I've really lost all credibility as an observational comedian.
09:54Oh, my God.
09:55You holding that scythe, I hope that's what death looks like.
09:59Just race with a body cam and no pants on.
10:02It would be amazing.
10:04Dave, at one point you had a cross and you were treating bowling pins like they were Satan.
10:09Yeah.
10:10I was scared, you know, I was lonely and then I saw Satan and he was a bowling pin.
10:18Those things all have names in like Māori as well.
10:21There would have been no bees at all.
10:22I could have just bumped through everything and been like, nah, portal, that's just got to pee.
10:27I love it.
10:29Yeah, we're fine.
10:30So why didn't you?
10:31Because I was pretty happy with fire.
10:33Polonisation!
10:34Yes!
10:36Yes!
10:37Okay, Paul, what are their times?
10:38Huani, five hours, eight minutes and 22 seconds.
10:41Oh, okay.
10:43You look happy with that.
10:45I feel like there's some trick.
10:47Let's hear what other people did.
10:49They don't have my emotions.
10:51Yeah.
10:52So Rhys, eight hours, 19 minutes and 55 seconds.
10:56And Dave, eight hours, 31 minutes and 36 seconds.
11:00So they both are...
11:01And then with the penalties equal...
11:07Right, it's time for another B word, a break.
11:09We'll see you after this.
11:11APPLAUSE
11:25Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:27Your five comedians are trying to ring a bell without touching anything that starts with B.
11:33So far, we've seen the three male comedians try the surprising approach of repeatedly smashing into everything that got in
11:41their way.
11:42That's right, Jeremy.
11:43Up next, dodging Bs like the boy from My Girl Should Have.
11:47It's Rose Matafeo.
11:50Your time...
11:53Starts...
11:54Now.
11:58No!
12:02Kicked a book.
12:03Holy crap.
12:05I feel...
12:06Oh my gosh!
12:14I've stopped the clock.
12:16You've stopped the clock?
12:17Mm-hmm.
12:20What?
12:21Well, I picked a book.
12:23I added an hour.
12:24I know that there are other very clever people who would have just turned and done that.
12:32Sick!
12:33Thank you, Rose.
12:35Thanks, Paul.
12:35Oh my gosh.
12:38Really good.
12:41You saw Reece, Hwani and Dave's effort before.
12:43Do you still think that there are clever people who would have just turned in on that?
12:47Thank you for proving me wrong.
12:49No.
12:51I mean, I feel good.
12:52I feel fine.
12:53I feel great.
12:53Yeah.
12:55So her end time was one hour and 28 seconds.
12:59Okay.
13:03Who have we got next?
13:04There's only one person left.
13:06Oh really?
13:07No.
13:08O'Reilly.
13:11Balls.
13:11Bicycle.
13:12You want to see how far you can kick there?
13:13No, thank you.
13:14My God, it's so fun.
13:17I feel like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
13:19Bath.
13:20Bar.
13:21Binoculars.
13:21Burger.
13:23Bottles.
13:24Blooms.
13:25Now we've got to be really careful, aren't we?
13:29Boy.
13:30If you shake my hand, I'll ring the bell.
13:32Big fat liar.
13:33Thank you so much for your help.
13:35But don't touch me.
13:38Stairs with an S.
13:40Skeleton.
13:41Or bones.
13:42Oh.
13:44Ow.
13:45That's quite the fly in the oint-monte.
13:49You come.
13:55Brindley.
13:56Brindley.
13:57Brindley.
13:58That's...
13:59That's...
13:59That's the barbecue.
14:01Oh.
14:02Climb.
14:03Climb.
14:04The sea climbed.
14:05Katie, play, Paul?
14:07I'm okay.
14:08Boxes.
14:10Beautiful boxes.
14:11You touching that bike?
14:12No, ma'am.
14:14Where is the bell?
14:15Can you tell me where it is?
14:16It's in the study.
14:18Trunk.
14:19Is it a trunk or a box?
14:20Trunk.
14:21You can't put a trunk next to a box.
14:24And gas like me, but to be safe.
14:27Rug.
14:27Rug.
14:28Big rug.
14:29Persian.
14:30Rug.
14:31String.
14:32Rope.
14:35I've stopped the car.
14:40So, this is the first time certainly in Taskmaster New Zealand that someone hasn't found a hack,
14:47but it actually made their effort more impressive.
14:50And they've done it better than anyone else.
14:53That's amazing.
14:53That was incredible.
14:54That's all I ever want to hear.
14:57I also just want to clarify so no one comes for me.
15:00Balustrade, banister.
15:02It's a handrail.
15:03Yeah.
15:04Yes.
15:05Yes.
15:05The climate affair that Taskmaster fans have you in is terrifying.
15:10Yeah.
15:11It's horrible.
15:12This is on you guys.
15:14That's on you.
15:16Okay, how are we going to score it?
15:17It's just on time, isn't it?
15:19So, Morgana, 3 minutes 59.
15:21Holy shit!
15:23Oh, yeah!
15:24Oh, yeah!
15:25Oh, yeah!
15:26Oh, yeah!
15:27So, that means one point for Dave, two points for Rhys, three points for Huani,
15:31four points for Rose, and five points for Morgana.
15:38All right, Paul.
15:39Can we have a school board update for the episode, please?
15:42Very tight, but out in first with seven points, it's Rose Matafeo.
15:50Okay, what are we doing next?
15:52As a child, when I grew up, I wanted to be Jim Carrey.
15:55But then I grew to learn that Jim Carrey is not a profession.
15:58Jim Carrey is a man.
16:00So I became a Paul Williams, and I love my job.
16:02I hope you love this task.
16:13Oh, you little bastard, where are you?
16:16In the caravan.
16:17Hey.
16:18Hello, Dave.
16:19How is it?
16:20Good, thank you.
16:22Task time.
16:23Cute.
16:27How is it?
16:27Become the thing you wanted to be when you were a kid.
16:30Best becoming the thing you wanted to be when you were a kid wins.
16:33You have 30 minutes.
16:35Your time starts now.
16:37Do you know what?
16:37This is so funny, because when I was walking in here, I was like,
16:41when I was a kid, I just wanted to live in a house truck.
16:43Quite specific.
16:44At the fairs, you could pay like a gold coin donation,
16:48and then you could come and have a tour of their house truck.
16:51I also wanted to be a pilot.
16:54Okay.
16:55But I wasn't the best at school, and this teacher, he said to my mum,
16:59yeah, that ain't gonna happen for him.
17:00He's pretty useless.
17:02Right.
17:02And then my mum got up and said, if he wants to be a pilot,
17:06he'll be a pilot.
17:07And she gave him a crack.
17:08I wanted to be a garbage man, because they got to be on the side
17:12of the truck while I was driving.
17:13That was cool.
17:14The other thing was like Batman.
17:16You could do both.
17:18Yeah.
17:19You know what I really wanted to be when I was a kid?
17:20A forensic pathologist.
17:22And then CSI came out, and everyone wanted that.
17:25Oh, we're going full CSI Miami is what we're doing.
17:28Yeah.
17:30We're not gonna be able to get the rights to the noise, are we?
17:32No, but we'll get something similar.
17:34No, I think I should do it every time.
17:36Once I was in class, and the teacher asked what I wanted to be,
17:39and I panicked, and I said a cinematographer.
17:41These guys would love that.
17:43Mmm.
17:44Maybe I'd take a camera.
17:48There you go, Paul.
17:49This seems like a pretty simple task.
17:52Whose childhood dream are we gonna see first?
17:54Watch out, Roger Deakins.
17:56Rose Matafeo is coming for your spot as the one cinematographer
17:59that people know the name of.
18:07Well, I don't know about you, but...
18:10Can we cut?
18:11Cutting. Cutting.
18:14No, the light's wrong.
18:18Well, I don't know about you, but I just don't know.
18:22Can we cut? Actually, the light's changing.
18:25Should I start my line later, maybe?
18:26I don't know. I mean, I'm not the director, but...
18:28Okay.
18:30Go, Paul.
18:34Well, I don't know about you, but...
18:37I just don't know about you.
18:41Cut.
18:41I'm happy.
18:43We're losing light.
18:44Okay.
18:49So, you're obviously the cinematographer.
18:51Yeah.
18:51Did you also write the script?
18:53That was a collaboration between me and Paul.
18:55We settled on,
18:57I don't know about you,
18:59but I just don't know about you.
19:01So, some of that footage was actually shot by the actual camera operators.
19:06Paul, Paul, Paul.
19:07But here is...
19:09No, no, no.
19:11This is the footage that Rose shot.
19:16Yeah.
19:18I don't know about you, but...
19:21I just don't know about you.
19:36I actually think that has a much more Dogma 95 kind of out of focus.
19:43Less sepia tones than the other one.
19:44That's the thing.
19:45I prefer the second one.
19:46To be fair.
19:48Yeah.
19:49That's enough of Rose's cinematography.
19:51A bunch of businesses have spent a lot of money hiring their own cinematographers
19:55to make some lovely ads.
19:56We'll see you after this.
20:14Welcome back to Taskmaster.
20:15Where our comedians are showing us their dream job from childhood, before it all went wrong, and they ended up
20:22here.
20:23Who have we got next, Paul?
20:25Huge news for people who love Welsh names.
20:27It's Morgana and Rhys.
20:32Talk to me.
20:33What have we got?
20:33The victim is a school teacher.
20:35Simon Weathers, 43.
20:37Who found him?
20:38I did, sir.
20:40Unlucky.
20:41Where is it?
20:41I don't see...
20:42Over there.
20:44Whoa!
20:45Looks like someone's a little under the weathers.
20:48The man's name is Simon Weathers.
20:50Yeah!
20:55Hey, Paul.
20:57Welcome to my caravan.
20:58Come on in.
20:59Oh.
21:01I'm gonna need a donation.
21:02Perhaps a gold coin, or just whatever you've got.
21:06A whistle.
21:08My wristwatch.
21:09I'll give it back.
21:10A rose.
21:13And a monkey.
21:15Maybe someone's got a new teacher's pet.
21:18Yeah!
21:23Do you wanna ask me a question?
21:25Will Morgana receive five points for this?
21:30My sources say no.
21:34Bagging up the leg?
21:35Yeah.
21:37And now for Simon Weathers.
21:39He doesn't have a leg to stand on.
21:41He has!
21:42Someone has died.
21:45Someone has died.
21:48Yeah, that's inappropriate.
21:52I need you to go now.
21:53I don't like you here anymore.
21:54This is my house.
21:56Could I...
21:57You said I might be able to get my watch back.
21:58Quickly, quickly, quickly.
21:59Quickly, quickly.
22:00Have a really great day.
22:02Bye-bye!
22:02You said I might be able to get my watch back.
22:07Morgana.
22:13So, did you end up giving Paula's watch back?
22:15How did that go?
22:16I didn't get it back.
22:17It doesn't work, but, um...
22:19It is mine.
22:20That's why I gave that piece of shit back.
22:22Yeah.
22:25How's the voice, Rhys, after the scream?
22:27It was good, but it was...
22:29There was about eight more puns that got cut out of that.
22:32And I love you turning up to a crime scene with so much hair.
22:36You know?
22:36Yeah.
22:37It's like you're the murderer every time.
22:39They're like, we found all this hair.
22:41Wow.
22:43Okay, Paul.
22:44I'm ready to see another childhood dream come true.
22:46Who's up next?
22:46Starring Hoani Hoteni.
22:49This summer, Hero starts with the letter H.
22:54This city's a mess.
22:57Every day, I'm trying to clean it up.
23:00Well, every Tuesday.
23:02And then recycling is every second Tuesday.
23:05There's only one thing that makes it worth my time.
23:08Hanging off the side of the garbage trunk.
23:16Whee!
23:18Yeah!
23:19Oh, yeah.
23:21Ziggity Zaggity!
23:22Stop the car!
23:25That's the penguin.
23:26He's misplacing rubbish again.
23:29Hey, penguin.
23:30You better sort yourself out and put those things in the right things.
23:33I don't care about any of that.
23:35What the hell?
23:36All right.
23:39How?
23:39What?
23:41What?
23:42What's that?
23:42Flip.
23:45There's garbage on the streets.
23:48And there's garbage on my truck.
23:51And there's garbage in the heart of the villains.
24:07I don't know about you, but I don't know about you.
24:15It was an interesting line that you said the day that you worked and then the other day that was
24:20the recycling day.
24:21I'm not sure if you were, but rubbish collectors work like every day.
24:24Not just your rubbish day.
24:30I know it can seem that way sometimes, but...
24:33He's sitting in a throne and yet he's the man of the people.
24:39Okay, I think we've got time for just one more dream job.
24:43Who's it going to be, Paul?
24:44Finally fulfilling his childhood dream, it's David Farnay.
24:53Okay, Captain.
24:55Curious Farnay.
24:56You are clear for takeoff.
24:58Thank you, air traffic controller.
25:00Have a merry Christmas.
25:02Merry Christmas.
25:14You're flying, Captain.
25:16What's it like up there?
25:18Conditions are fine.
25:20Hitting a bit of turbulence.
25:22All fine.
25:27Relaxing.
25:28Hands off the wheel.
25:29I don't think you should have your hands off the wheel, Captain.
25:31Sorry.
25:32Putting my hand out.
25:33Touching a cloud.
25:36Don't touch the clouds.
25:37You should have the windows closed, Captain.
25:40It's my first time, but it's beautiful up here.
25:43It's your first time?
25:44First time flying.
25:46I've got my wings and I'm flying.
25:48Do you have a plane license?
25:51A license to thrill.
25:52That's great, but I feel like you need a license to fly a plane.
25:57Again, license to thrill.
25:59You should land, sir.
26:00Bring it down immediately.
26:02Okay.
26:03I'll come in for a landing then.
26:06Oh, look at me.
26:09I'm flying.
26:19Dave, do you think in retrospect the teacher who discouraged you from flying actually had quite a good point?
26:27Nah.
26:29Nah, I love that so much.
26:31Can we change that to Captain Dave, Furious Rodney?
26:34Whanae though?
26:38Okay, do we score it?
26:39Yes please.
26:40I'm not sure who you were Morgana, but clearly you loved it.
26:45One point.
26:47Rose, it's basically what you do already and you did it particularly badly there so I'll give you two points.
26:53Rhys, you should not go anywhere near a crime scene, ever.
26:56Too late.
26:58Oh!
26:59Three points for you.
27:00Dave, four points for you.
27:02And five points for Huani who is a great rubbish superhero.
27:11Exciting stuff.
27:12I'm ready for another task.
27:13Paul, what have you got in store for me?
27:14I hereby accuse this task of playing now.
27:31I hope a train is gonna come.
27:34If Paul's on a train...
27:36If Paul's on that damn train...
27:43Really nice.
27:55Perfect.
27:56Hi Paul.
27:58Hello Morgana.
27:59Was that the most fun you've ever had in your life?
28:00Mm-hmm.
28:01You don't want a little bit of an umbrella?
28:03No.
28:03Okay.
28:04But I'd love you to open that a little faster.
28:06Yeah, yeah.
28:07I'm so excited.
28:08There's been a murder on the Taskmaster.
28:10Find the shooter.
28:12Fastest wins.
28:13Each former contestant is either a victim, an innocent, or the shooter.
28:17Any incorrect envelope opened will add seven minutes to your time.
28:22Start with Angela.
28:24She is an innocent.
28:26Your time starts on Paul's whistle.
28:28This is my dream.
28:29I love puzzles.
28:31And I'm really tempted to go, like, full Benoit Blanc, southern fried accent the entire time.
28:36That would be nice.
28:37Okay.
28:43That's right, Taskmaster has a train now.
28:45And not just any old train, but a steam locomotive L507, a 149-year-old engine that once helped build
28:54this great nation,
28:55now reduced to being a fun gimmick in a TV show.
28:59Time, it comes for all of us.
29:01Speaking of time, it's time for a break.
29:03We'll see you after this.
29:19Welcome back to Taskmaster.
29:21What were our comedians up to, Paul?
29:23There's been a murder on the Taskmaster Express, and our comedians have to find the shooter.
29:29Luckily, we left them lots of clues in handy coloured envelopes marked innocent, victim, or shooter.
29:35The catch?
29:36Each suspect can only be one of those things.
29:39If they open an incorrect envelope, seven minutes will be added to their time.
29:43Which super sleuths are up first?
29:47They've all won Billy Tees, but can they solve mysteries?
29:50It's Huani, Reese, and Rose.
29:55Well, well, well, a full house.
29:58And the joke is a while.
30:01So Angela's innocent.
30:03Angela, draw of it innocent.
30:04There are two victims.
30:06Sitting in opposite corners of the carriage.
30:08Lee Hart, and it appears to be Jack Hand's head.
30:13Lee Hart is a victim.
30:15Look, all I know is anyone with seven or more letters in their first name isn't innocent.
30:19Seven or more, Melanie Bracewell.
30:22You are an innocent.
30:24Anyone with a three-letter first name is not an innocent.
30:26Which means I'm sorry, Mr Montgomery, but you are another victim.
30:31Whatever happens, Ray O'Leary is a compulsive liar and the only liar in this carriage.
30:35And that means that Gar Williams is another victim?
30:38The shooter is not an O'Leary.
30:40Ray and Karen.
30:42So Ray is a victim and a liar.
30:45Whatever happens in that curly-haired mind of his.
30:49I'm pretty sure it was Alice, which means it wasn't Alice.
30:54That is classic Ray O'Leary.
30:55Not believe in women.
30:57Madeline is one, two, three, four, five, five, five, five, okay.
31:00An innocent.
31:01Anyone whose name starts with a K is not a victim.
31:05Shooter is not an O'Leary.
31:07Karen!
31:08Karen O'Leary?
31:09Anyone with an X in their name is a victim.
31:12Pax.
31:12So Pax is a victim.
31:15Any woman whose name ends with an A isn't innocent.
31:17Coulda.
31:18Which is Ursula.
31:20Chris can only see the people sitting in a straight line directly in front of him.
31:24Well that feels like that'll maybe matter later.
31:26The shooter was confused Mel beat Rose.
31:29And now it appears we find ourselves in a pickle.
31:34Remember some cards you've gotten rid of but haven't opened.
31:37Shit!
31:38I am not innocent.
31:39That is an incorrect envelope.
31:41Oh!
31:42No!
31:43It's only seven minutes.
31:45Yeah, but I wanted to be good at it.
31:49Mel beat Rose.
31:51Is that a callback?
31:53It's meaning escapes me.
31:55How am I going with the accent?
31:56Really good.
31:57Yeah, great.
31:58The shooter is not Tom.
32:00Say cheese, the shooter has framed you.
32:05Has framed me.
32:06The shooter was confused Mel beat Rose.
32:10It's meaning escapes me.
32:11Say cheese, the shooter has framed you.
32:13Oh, it's Brie Tomasel.
32:16Cheese, Brie.
32:17It simply must be.
32:19Because it's an anagram.
32:23Chris can only see people sitting in a straight line in front of him.
32:26Why does that matter?
32:31Would it be something...
32:38Are you...
32:40Like this?
32:43Okay, I'm going to say it's Brie Tomasel.
32:46Shooter.
32:47You got me.
32:47I'm the shooter.
32:48Very nice to see you.
32:49Very clever.
32:50Stop the floor.
32:51How you doing?
32:52Hey, mate.
32:53How are you?
32:54I'm good.
32:54I'm good.
32:56Brie Tomasel, I accuse you of being the shooter.
33:00You got me.
33:01I'm the shooter.
33:05It's Brie, cheese.
33:09What an anticlimax.
33:12Stop the clock.
33:15You happy with that?
33:18Stoked.
33:20Australian.
33:20Don't want to say...
33:21Don't want to say it, but...
33:24See you, Paul.
33:25Thank you, Rose.
33:29How long into the task did you regret running the Southern accent?
33:33I truly loved it every second.
33:37I'm about to cry.
33:38Truly a special day.
33:39It was.
33:40I felt the same.
33:40I felt exactly the same.
33:41It was very, very fun.
33:42You guys are puzzlers, I take it?
33:45Oh, yeah.
33:45You put us in an escape room, we're dynamite.
33:48Yeah.
33:49We're out in 20.
33:50It's not worth it.
33:51I'm just a regular guy.
33:52Oh, come on!
33:55How are we going in terms of times?
33:57Rose, one incorrect envelope, which takes her final time to 32 minutes and 20 seconds.
34:03Reese, 8 minutes 43 seconds.
34:07Hawani was 55 seconds slower, 9 minutes 38.
34:11Okay, Paul.
34:12I'd love to see more murders solved.
34:14Our final two sleuths on the case, it's Detective Dave and P.I. O'Reilly.
34:20Okay, which one of you is the shooter?
34:23Straight off the bat?
34:24Yeah.
34:25I reckon it's still finger.
34:26He's always been a troublesome one.
34:28This crazy cat.
34:30If it's wrong, it will add 7 minutes to your time.
34:33Okay, let's do it.
34:34You gonna roll the dice?
34:35Yep.
34:36Shooter!
34:37No.
34:37I am not the shooter.
34:39I'm sorry, I doubted you.
34:40I'm sorry, brother.
34:41There are two victims sitting in opposite corners of the carriage.
34:49Lee Ha.
34:50Innocent!
34:51I am not an innocent.
34:54So that was incorrect.
34:56Oh, why did I choose the innocent one?
34:59I'm not sure.
35:00Ben Hurley.
35:01Yeah.
35:02I choose him.
35:03He's not the shooter.
35:05Oh, Jackie Van Beek.
35:06Yeah.
35:07Yeah, she's not the shooter.
35:08Jackie Van Beek not a victim.
35:10She is not a victim.
35:11That is incorrect.
35:12So that's 21 minutes already.
35:14Right, let's think about this.
35:17Is this what I do?
35:19I just go round?
35:20Mm-hmm.
35:20I knew I'd suck at this.
35:22Pax Asadi.
35:23He's my Terminator.
35:25No, he's not.
35:26Sorry.
35:27I am not innocent.
35:28Josh Johnson?
35:29He's not a shooter either.
35:31Me old mate Madeline Sami.
35:33No, she ain't the shooter.
35:34This guy.
35:35He's hilarious.
35:37Not shooter.
35:38Is this starting to seem like you're targeting non-white people?
35:41I'm just doing this to show that not all brown people are crime committers.
35:46So it's actually quite progressive what you're doing?
35:49Yeah.
35:50Thank God.
35:50I am not the shooter.
35:52That is incorrect.
35:53Okay, okay, okay, okay.
35:54Oh, he's so cool.
35:56I knew it wasn't you.
35:57Laura's so nice.
35:58Poor ego.
36:00Nice chap.
36:02Alice.
36:03She's awesome.
36:04They're all awesome.
36:06Dude, it wasn't me.
36:07Really.
36:08It's a lying piece of work.
36:15You got me on the shoot.
36:20Correct, I've stopped the clock.
36:22Brie.
36:23She's cheeky ass.
36:25You got me.
36:26I've stopped the clock.
36:27Brie.
36:28Did you like that one?
36:29I did actually.
36:31I was really nervous about it.
36:33Okay.
36:34Because sometimes I'm not very smart.
36:38No, that's not true.
36:39No, no, no, it's fine.
36:40I've come to terms with it.
36:41And what do you have to say to the shooter?
36:44Tsk, tsk, tsk.
36:46How could you?
36:53Morgana, I feel like I know the answer to this question,
36:55but I'm gonna ask you anyway.
36:57What was your strategy going into that?
37:00I did that thing where I was like,
37:01I'm gonna be so crap at this, and I self-talked it bad,
37:04and then I sort of figured something out,
37:07and I knew something was afoot.
37:08I could feel it.
37:09Feel it in my waters.
37:11Welcome to my brain.
37:12Hi.
37:12Hi, hi, hi.
37:13Oh my gosh.
37:14You played a police officer before, eh?
37:16You played a police officer.
37:17Yeah.
37:18Yeah.
37:19You're a very good actor.
37:24Dave's strategy of defending brown people was to accuse every single brown person.
37:29Yes.
37:30In my defence, your honour, my lord, I really didn't understand the concept of the game.
37:37It wasn't until I saw this that I now understand what we were supposed to do,
37:42and what those other envelopes were there for.
37:45So they were actually both very fast.
37:47They were both sub-10 minutes, but then with quite a few penalties.
37:52So, with the penalties, Morgana was 50 minutes and 27 seconds,
37:56and Dave was 2 hours, 43 minutes, and 25 seconds.
38:01So, one point for Dave, two points for Morgana, three points for Rose,
38:05four points for Huani, and five points for Rhys Mathewson.
38:10Okay, time for a break now, Paul.
38:12We'll see you soon.
38:28Welcome back to Taskmaster.
38:30Where five grown adults are competing to win a burger wrapper you could find in any food court bin,
38:36or a clean bill of health for an anus that isn't yours.
38:41Shall we look at the scores, Paul?
38:43Tied in first place, both with 14 points, it's Huani and Rhys.
38:50Let's see how much of the live task will change those scores.
38:54Please, everyone, head up to the stage for the live task.
39:00Who's going to read out the task tonight, Paul?
39:03Dave Farming.
39:08Identify what you've drawn.
39:10Each round, one team-mate will pull the name of the thing from the hat on Paul's whistle.
39:15They will direct a team-mate to draw the thing without telling them what the thing is.
39:21The artist may only draw the thing by moving their canvas around on the pen.
39:27The director may only direct the artist by pointing their flag and may only say stop, go, on, or off.
39:36The director may not mime, give clues, or touch the pen or canvas.
39:43After one minute, the artist must stop, and Paul will ask them, what have they drawn?
39:49First team to correctly identify three drawings wins.
39:55Are you ready?
39:56Yeah.
39:57I'm ready.
39:58Okay.
40:04On.
40:05On.
40:11Okay.
40:14Go.
40:16Go, go, go, go, go, go.
40:19Oh, oh.
40:22Stop. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
40:25Stop. I'm getting a sense for it.
40:27WHISTLE BLOWS
40:30Well done.
40:33Morgana, what have you drawn?
40:35An hourglass?
40:38Correct.
40:40CHEERING
40:42Good job.
40:44Dave, what have you drawn?
40:46A...
40:48A dripping tap.
40:50That is incorrect.
40:53What is that? Cloud.
40:55LAUGHTER
40:58Second round.
40:59On my whistle.
41:01On. On.
41:03Oh, good.
41:06Stop.
41:07On.
41:09Oh, shoot. Stop.
41:11Stop.
41:1320 seconds.
41:15Stop.
41:16Stop.
41:18Stop.
41:19Eight seconds.
41:21Stop.
41:21Stop.
41:22Off.
41:23WHISTLE BLOWS
41:28Dave, what have you drawn?
41:29Oh, that's beautiful.
41:32A sailing boat.
41:35That is correct.
41:36It was a boat.
41:37CHEERING
41:42Really good.
41:43Yeah.
41:44Rhys, what have you drawn?
41:46I think it's a Christmas tree.
41:47Correct.
41:49CHEERING
41:52OK.
41:53On my whistle.
41:56WHISTLE BLOWS
41:56On.
41:57On.
41:58Go.
42:00Go.
42:01Off.
42:02Stop.
42:03Go.
42:05Stop.
42:06Oh, stop.
42:06Stop.
42:08Go.
42:10Stop.
42:11Go.
42:12Off.
42:13Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
42:14On.
42:14Stop.
42:15Off.
42:16Stop.
42:17Go.
42:18Yep.
42:19Stop.
42:19On.
42:20Off.
42:21Oh, yeah, Mr.
42:22Go, go, go, go, go.
42:23Stop.
42:24On.
42:25Stop.
42:26Go.
42:27Stop.
42:28Go.
42:28Stop.
42:30Five seconds.
42:32Love you.
42:32You're like...
42:37Oh, I wonder what that could be.
42:41Yeah.
42:42I wonder what that is.
42:45Rose, what did you draw?
42:47Yes?
42:48Is this a bicycle?
42:49Yes!
42:52That is a truck.
42:57Morgana, what did you draw?
42:59Is it a house?
43:01It's a bicycle.
43:01No, it's a house.
43:03That's three for the team of three.
43:06Yeah!
43:07Come on down and let's score the round, everyone.
43:10Come on.
43:15So, how would you like to score it?
43:17The team of two got one correct.
43:19The team of three, one with three correct.
43:21Okay.
43:22So, I think the way to go is the team of two get one point each.
43:25Okay.
43:25And the team of three get three points each.
43:28Okay.
43:30Alright, who should we find out who's won the episode?
43:32Before we do, Jeremy, let's find out how the season scores are tracking.
43:36Out in front with a six point lead, it's Rhys.
43:43Okay.
43:44Well, what about episode three, Paul?
43:48With 17 points, we have a tie, Huani and Rhys.
43:52Ooh.
43:54Fight, fight, fight, fight!
43:56It's the only way.
43:57We could do a fight.
44:00Or, we could do a tiebreaker.
44:02Back at the ranch, our contestants were asked to guess the country I was thinking of.
44:09Before every guess, they had to bang the desk.
44:13Here's how they went.
44:14Your time starts now.
44:17Equatorial Guinea.
44:18Bang the desk, please.
44:19New Caledonia.
44:21Bang the desk.
44:22France.
44:23Bang the desk, please.
44:24Germany.
44:25Bang the desk.
44:26Greece.
44:27Bang the desk.
44:28Sudan.
44:29Bang the desk.
44:30United Kingdom.
44:31Bang the desk.
44:32China.
44:33Bang the desk.
44:34Northern Ireland.
44:34Bang the desk.
44:35Ireland.
44:36Bang the desk.
44:37Bangladesh.
44:38Correct.
44:39Stop the clock.
44:40Yo.
44:45Thank you, Paul.
44:47That was pretty good, I think.
45:25For the rest of the room.
45:25You're very good at cinematography.
45:28And you might be embarrassed by your bum, but at least it's not called Rodney.
45:34But most importantly, we've learned that the winner of episode three is Rhys Mathewson.
45:43We'll see you next time.
46:05We added all the stuff about the big old titties coming.
46:08Any chance I get.
46:11Hello.
46:14Have you killed somebody?
46:16Then we're gonna party.
46:17Let's party.
46:18Be smart.
46:20Does that make you horny?
46:21I don't say this lightly, but what the f*** are you three doing?
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