Horror movies are films designed to evoke fear, suspense, and tension through stories involving monsters, ghosts, serial killers, demons, supernatural creatures, or unexplained events. The genre includes many subgenres such as slasher, paranormal, zombie, psychological thriller, found footage, and survival horror, featuring both timeless classics and modern productions that have shaped the history of horror cinema.
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FunTranscript
00:00:26To be continued...
00:00:30your head lay thee down in thy bed lay you down now and rest may your slumber be blessed
00:00:46you girls get some sleep now okay good night daddy good night mommy
00:01:08so
00:01:29Mary, the lady's running into the field.
00:01:33She's fine, Suze. Go back to bed.
00:01:50Lady, here girl, she said she saw Lady running to the tobacco.
00:01:58Here girl, lady.
00:02:11Mary!
00:02:12Susan!
00:02:13Slow down!
00:02:15Dude, what happened?
00:02:16Where's Lady?
00:02:17What's the matter, sweetie?
00:02:23I'll tell the family to the tobacco.
00:02:34Bernice, come on!
00:02:37Bernice!
00:02:42Bernice!
00:02:43Bernice!
00:03:02Come on!
00:03:03Ha ha ha...
00:03:05Ha ha ha...
00:03:18Ha ha!
00:03:21AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
00:03:54Hello?
00:03:59Ooh, look at this. A woman.
00:04:01Ooh, hey, baby. You want a ride?
00:04:03Looks crowded.
00:04:04Ooh, why don't I just clear off a seat for you?
00:04:08Hey, careful there, Elmo.
00:04:09She might send a murdering father out of you.
00:04:11Ooh, a murderer?
00:04:13What's he gonna do? Murder me?
00:04:16Yeah, you want him dead like a dead mother.
00:04:19Knock it out.
00:04:21Okay, dude.
00:04:22Yeah!
00:04:23Move them on. Let's burn rubber.
00:04:25Boom.
00:04:27See ya.
00:04:27Your family sucks.
00:04:36Who, Susan?
00:04:39No, that can't be.
00:04:41I saw her off myself this morning.
00:04:45No, she usually cuts up through Mill Road.
00:04:52Well, do call back when she arrives, won't you?
00:04:55Okay.
00:04:57Who was that?
00:04:58The school.
00:05:00Susan hasn't shown up.
00:05:01Maybe some kids stopped her to give her a hard time.
00:05:04Stay here and see if the school calls.
00:05:07I'm gonna call the police!
00:05:08Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
00:05:13Mmm.
00:05:14Did he finish?
00:05:15Because if he finished, problem solved, right?
00:05:20We'll be on the lookout, Mrs. Alfonso.
00:05:23Is that a pen all right?
00:05:26Another call about that public masturbator.
00:05:32Ah, tugging off on Alfonso's lawn this morning.
00:05:35Did he finish?
00:05:39Hi, I'm looking for Chief Clark.
00:05:41You found him.
00:05:43Hi, I'm James Wallace. I'm the new transfer.
00:05:46Oh, right. Grab a seat, kid.
00:05:51Scotch?
00:05:52Uh, take a cup of coffee if you have a pot on.
00:05:54Coffee?
00:05:56Yeah, sure. Phyllis makes him, will ya?
00:05:58Yeah.
00:06:05So, you came from the big city.
00:06:08I hope you don't expect too much action.
00:06:10Marlow's a quiet little town.
00:06:13Nothing work or busting kids playing Lucky.
00:06:15Well, I mean, to be frank, that kind of sounds like the change I need.
00:06:19Your psychiatric exam here says you reported seeing things?
00:06:24Saucers in the sky?
00:06:26It was more like an...
00:06:27Little green men.
00:06:28Watching your every move with their little green eyes.
00:06:32Look, I don't...
00:06:33How many eyes those green men got?
00:06:35Four? Five? Six eyes, Wallace?
00:06:42Christ. I ought to introduce you to our local nut job, Roy McDowell.
00:06:47Blew his wife to bits and blamed it on something he saw in the sky.
00:06:51Look, sir. Whatever it is I thought I saw, it's in my past now.
00:06:57No, you look.
00:07:00Our officers carry these.
00:07:02Colt 22 pistols.
00:07:05I need to know that you're not gonna splatter my brains out on assignment thinking I'm some goddamn seven-eyed
00:07:10green man.
00:07:12Just got a call that one of the McDowell girls didn't show up for school.
00:07:16You want me to send out a cruiser?
00:07:17Nah.
00:07:18It'll be a good warm-up for a space cop here.
00:07:35All right, kid. I'll drive.
00:07:43All right.
00:07:47Come on.
00:07:49All right.
00:08:01Oh, my God.
00:08:27I gotta warn you, Chief, it ain't pretty.
00:08:29It's enough to make your stomach turn.
00:08:33McDowell Younger, the one reported missing.
00:08:36McDowell, the wife killer I was telling you about.
00:08:38Was it him?
00:08:39Well, his truck was here at the scene,
00:08:41and his eldest daughter called saying they left the house in a real hurry.
00:08:44A hurry, huh?
00:08:47Well, that's enough evidence for me to lock his guilty ass up.
00:08:51How'd the looney tune do it this time?
00:08:53Chief, Chief, her body's not like anything you've seen.
00:08:56She's barely recognizable.
00:08:57It's as if she's been torn completely apart.
00:08:59All right, Daniels, I'm sure we can handle it.
00:09:02Guy will talk your ear off if you let him.
00:09:06Jesus Christ!
00:09:08Must have been a bear, right?
00:09:11What else could have done that?
00:09:12Could have been wolves, but it would have taken two or three of those beasts
00:09:16to do something like this.
00:09:18I don't know, Chief.
00:09:19I haven't seen too many wolves around these parts.
00:09:22Well, when's the last time you saw a goddamn bear around here, Daniels?
00:09:26There isn't a stream for miles.
00:09:28Where would they feast?
00:09:39I don't think an animal did this.
00:09:40And if it did, it certainly wasn't a fucking bear.
00:09:44Has McDowell's other daughter been informed we found her sister?
00:09:47I'll head over right away, sir, and bring her to the station.
00:09:53So, is the father her sister?
00:09:56Sick bastard.
00:09:57Gets away ten years ago scot-free for butchering his old lady.
00:10:01Now this?
00:10:03He won't get away with it this time.
00:10:05We'll find him.
00:10:06Let's scoop up Susie and get her to the coroner.
00:10:35So, who do we have?
00:10:42Mummification.
00:10:48Vampiracy.
00:10:55Zombification.
00:11:14Vampiracy.
00:11:14chancellor.
00:11:28Vampiracy.
00:11:31As we know.
00:11:37What's happening?
00:11:39Who are you?
00:11:40What do you want?
00:11:43What do I want?
00:11:47I want to suck your butt!
00:11:52Kidding.
00:11:55Stand him hard.
00:11:59What you are all looking at is a very lucky human.
00:12:05Just a little prick.
00:12:07A very...
00:12:11With a very lucky little necklace that saved him many years ago.
00:12:20You see, thanks to our formula,
00:12:24your little tea necklace won't save you or your planet.
00:12:37In fact, you will play a very important role in its demise.
00:12:43How poetic that the same human who helped cause my greatest failure
00:12:53will bring about my greatest success!
00:12:59Turn him!
00:13:03Beat him back down to Earth.
00:13:06Everything is going according to plan.
00:13:11Soon, his little town will become my personal army of vampire zombies.
00:13:20Peace!
00:13:34You really think you'd masturbate out here?
00:13:36Oh, yeah.
00:13:38This guy makes his rounds.
00:13:41Always looking for a new spot to seed.
00:13:45Although lately his thing's been tugging it on old Mrs. Alfonso's front lawn.
00:13:49Does he finish?
00:13:50Yeah.
00:13:51He comes and goes.
00:13:52Have a smoke.
00:13:54Oh, thanks.
00:13:55Think those little green men are lurking around somewhere?
00:13:59Ah, come on, kid.
00:14:01Don't give me that stunned look.
00:14:03You can't be that surprised every time I crack wise.
00:14:06Chief!
00:14:07Hell, if I can't bust you balls.
00:14:09What?
00:14:09I really think we should head this way.
00:14:11Kid, what are you doing?
00:14:13Is it the masturbator?
00:14:18Oh, yeah.
00:14:20That's him.
00:14:21I can hear that chick fuck moaning.
00:14:25Chief, I don't think that's the masturbator.
00:14:28Come out with your hands up.
00:14:31Both of them.
00:14:33Sick son of a bitch.
00:14:35We're only turning him on.
00:14:38Stop right there.
00:14:39Police!
00:14:42Mission open fire, sir.
00:14:43Uh, no.
00:14:45Shoot the fucker!
00:14:49McDowell?
00:15:02Can you two move?
00:15:03You're blocking the light.
00:15:05Oh, sorry.
00:15:07Look, people know you're a swell guy, Mayor Douglas,
00:15:11but that alone won't be enough to get you reelected.
00:15:14We've got to sell you as an image.
00:15:16That's why.
00:15:17We've come up with a poster campaign
00:15:19we think you're really going to love, Mr. Mayor.
00:15:21Show him, Charlie.
00:15:22All right.
00:15:24Folks need to know that you care about
00:15:26any and every stupid problem they have.
00:15:29If there's a load burdening them,
00:15:30they need to know that you'll take that load.
00:15:33You'll take it off their shoulders
00:15:34and straight into town council.
00:15:40Next.
00:15:43Too wordy, Tom.
00:15:45Okay.
00:15:46Let's move on to the next one, Charlie.
00:15:50What do parents care more about than anything?
00:15:52They're little ones.
00:15:54So, we paint you as a mayor who's enriched the lives of Marlowe's youth.
00:15:58A mayor who inspires them.
00:16:04No, that's more like it.
00:16:06But let's get some more little girls on there.
00:16:09I want voters to know that I touched them, too.
00:16:13Yeah!
00:16:14Brilliant!
00:16:16Eddie, how the hell are ya?
00:16:17Mr. Mayor, we need to talk.
00:16:27Come on.
00:16:28Come on. It's morning.
00:16:30Wake up.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:31Get yourself home and get yourself some proper sleep.
00:16:34I told you I'm not going anywhere until I can talk to the Chief.
00:16:39His sister's been murdered, my father's missing, and no one's told me a damn thing.
00:16:45Well, I know that Chief Clark will talk to you just as soon as he's back from the mayor's house.
00:16:53Mayor Douglas?
00:16:55You didn't hear it from me.
00:17:05How the hell does this happen?
00:17:08I mean, just last week our biggest issue was that guy who jacks off everywhere!
00:17:11I don't think you understand. There's a lot of strange things happening in your town.
00:17:15Susan McDowell was butchered. Our fathers are only lead, and last night...
00:17:18You two shot some guy who ran off into the woods?
00:17:21He's long dead by now.
00:17:23Find the body.
00:17:25Sink it in Sadler's Pond.
00:17:27No, that's... that's what I think you don't understand. He didn't die.
00:17:32Sir, I...
00:17:35I think he's one of them.
00:17:37No, no, no, no, no.
00:17:40I'm sorry. I tried to...
00:17:41Hey! I've been waiting at the station and all that.
00:17:44No one's given me any answers.
00:17:46My sister Susan and my father, he went to look for...
00:17:50Officer Daniel said his truck was at the scene.
00:17:52I'm so worried.
00:17:54Oh, you poor thing.
00:17:56I'm so sorry about your sister.
00:17:58Tragic.
00:18:00Simply tragic.
00:18:02Don't you worry.
00:18:03I'm sure your father's fine.
00:18:05My wife Jackie will take you downstairs and fix you some hot cocoa.
00:18:09These officers will be with you in just a moment.
00:18:11Okay, dear?
00:18:12Okay.
00:18:12Come along, Don.
00:18:14Please tell me you two didn't shoot Roy McDowell last night?
00:18:18It might have been him.
00:18:19It was dark out.
00:18:21What if it was that had glowing eyes and a white face?
00:18:25The people of Marlow cannot find out our officers are shooting people just because they have a white face.
00:18:31Until we get this figured out, Mary McDowell will be under your watch 24-7. Capisce?
00:18:56Yeah, me and my human friends come here all the time.
00:19:07Oh
00:19:09Hey
00:19:29Just a minute
00:19:34Sorry to interrupt
00:19:36Whatever this is
00:19:38We're doing important vampire stuff in the control room. Your father is requesting your presence. What's the matter with you?
00:19:44Haven't you heard a knocking? I
00:19:47Did just get out of here God
00:19:59Dump your load on their Douglass
00:20:04Excellent work Dracula, but are we sure this
00:20:11Douglas is their leader our scouts found this with several other
00:20:18propaganda posters
00:20:20It appears this Douglas is the highest authority of Marlowe
00:20:27And you plan to suck this man. Oh
00:20:31I'll suck you dry
00:20:34We've already begun to infect the weak humans of Marlowe
00:20:39My plan is certain to be a success
00:20:44Line we have heard from you before
00:20:46Dracula
00:20:49We cannot allow you to disappoint us again
00:20:53With a political unrest in the capital failure is
00:20:57Not an option
00:20:59Okay, I'm here. I showed now. Can I have the keys to the cruiser?
00:21:06Earth may be our only choice
00:21:10The Ucari wish to withdraw from our planetary union and our vampire dollar is at an all-time low
00:21:19Who's back there? Show yourself
00:21:23This is my son
00:21:24This is my son
00:21:25Dylan created the formula that makes us immune to the human's tea necklaces
00:21:33This is the one who created the cure
00:21:37Dylan
00:21:38You should be very proud of what you have done for our race
00:21:42Every vampire in the galaxy has been injected with your formula
00:21:49Now our kind must no longer fear those horrid tea necklaces
00:21:57Yeah, I get it
00:21:59But that is not all your excellencies
00:22:02Dylan
00:22:04Tell them the best parts
00:22:06Dad, I got that date on planet nine in outer space
00:22:10I don't have time for your political stuff right now
00:22:12Do you want the ship tonight or what?
00:22:15You're so lame
00:22:17Okay, so the tea necklace formula changed the effects our bites have on the humans
00:22:22Instead of turning into vampires the chemicals used together
00:22:25Vampire and human DNA
00:22:27Simultaneously allowing those bitten to walk around in direct sunlight
00:22:30Pretty good
00:22:31And turning the human brain into complete mush
00:22:34Run into the mindless vampire zombies
00:22:35Okay, can I have the keys now?
00:22:37If only your father had had that injection when he was last on Earth
00:22:41But why should we give Dracula the chance to disappoint us again?
00:22:47Dylan has more than proven his worth
00:22:50He should be the one to suck the mare
00:22:56Yeah, I'm flattered, but like I said, I have plans
00:23:02This is more my dad's thing
00:23:05Wonderful idea, your excellencies
00:23:08I will send my son at once
00:23:12Dad, what the hell?
00:23:15Dylan, my son
00:23:17Tonight
00:23:17You suck your first man
00:23:25Humans this, humans that
00:23:27Get fucked, dad
00:23:28Where's mom?
00:23:28Where's mom?
00:23:3242
00:23:33Should we have fucking
00:23:33Having fun with my friends
00:23:34Not doing this bullshit for him
00:23:39Make a formula for me, Dylan
00:23:40Cancel your date for me, Dylan
00:23:42How about I just cancel my whole life, you fucking idiot
00:23:45Screw this, I'm going on my date
00:23:48I heard from Vlad in the control room
00:23:51That if Dracula doesn't pull this off
00:23:52Thy counsel's gonna have him killed
00:23:54Well, I heard that if he doesn't pull this off
00:23:56They're gonna murder him
00:23:59Sheesh, either way I guess
00:24:02I'd rather be killed than murdered
00:24:06They're gonna kill him
00:24:09Get in
00:24:11See how this baby flies
00:24:13Who is that or they look like
00:24:38What
00:24:38Nice
00:24:39What
00:24:39Fuck
00:24:40Jeep Jeep
00:24:42Yees Daniel
00:24:43The news may see you.
00:24:44Hello.
00:24:45Sir, we got a situation.
00:24:47I think it's best you bring McDowell's daughter directly inside.
00:24:52So...
00:24:54McDowell's not a popular name around here.
00:24:56Why's that?
00:24:57As if you don't already know.
00:25:00Every cop in this town thinks my dad's some kind of...
00:25:03monster who killed my mother.
00:25:07Well, did he?
00:25:09There was this...
00:25:13giant disc...
00:25:15in the sky.
00:25:17A UFO?
00:25:18You must think I'm crazy.
00:25:20No, no, no. I... I don't.
00:25:23My dad's innocent.
00:25:25Okay, he was innocent then and he's innocent now.
00:25:28I'm terrified that...
00:25:31whatever got her...
00:25:35might have got him too.
00:25:39Mary...
00:25:41Mary...
00:25:41I think we might know where...
00:25:43Hey! New guy!
00:25:45Willis, right?
00:25:46See that fucking thing in the field back there?
00:25:48Good Christ!
00:25:50I mean, they crapped my pants.
00:25:51The field?
00:25:52Yeah!
00:25:52It's like a goddamn sci-fi picture back there.
00:25:55What do you mean?
00:25:57Oh, get this.
00:25:58Chief tells us last night there's some dude who they fucking hung full of bullets.
00:26:03I mean...
00:26:05This dude's gotta be dead as a door now, right?
00:26:08No!
00:26:08The fucker gets locked and crawls all the way into the forest.
00:26:12Mayor Douglas, he wants us all kept real quiet, see?
00:26:16But then this morning, we get called here to find an honest-to-Christ UFO crashed in the back of
00:26:24murderer McDowell's freaky farm.
00:26:36Um...
00:26:36Here, try to hold this rocket.
00:26:39Go on, whip it.
00:26:52Oh, shit.
00:26:54Hey, Miss Listen.
00:26:55Don't you hey, Miss Listen, me?
00:26:56I want answers, dammit!
00:26:58What the hell's going on?
00:27:00How long has this been here?
00:27:03We know just as much as you do.
00:27:05Right now, we need to be calm and keep this situation contained.
00:27:08The mayor specifically told us...
00:27:10Fuck the mayor!
00:27:12I bet you wouldn't say that if the mayor were here.
00:27:15I don't care about the mayor.
00:27:20And you all thought we were crazy.
00:27:22How do you feel now, you bastards?
00:27:24Let's all just keep cool.
00:27:26We need to figure this thing out, contain it, and make sure it's not a threat to the public.
00:27:31Chuck, bring Miss McDowell here back inside so we can do our goddamn jobs.
00:27:37I'll go to the press!
00:27:38What?
00:27:39You said it yourself.
00:27:40The mayor wants this contained.
00:27:43So, how would it look on you if every paper and radio station in the state reported saucers crashing into
00:27:51our backyards?
00:27:53And that officer, he said you shot a man last night?
00:27:57That might also be of interest to the people of Marlow.
00:28:02All right, you win.
00:28:05Bitch.
00:28:09After school.
00:28:12After school.
00:28:14After school.
00:28:19No need any help.
00:28:33Hey, daddy-o.
00:28:37I was flying by, or passing by, when my flip-top mechanism malfunctioned.
00:28:44Ain't that a bite?
00:28:47Anyways, I was, uh, I saw a bunch of radio towers in the distance.
00:28:50Any idea what those puppies are broadcasting at?
00:28:53You know, like 80, 85 hertz?
00:28:58Excuse me a moment.
00:29:01It was windy during my descent.
00:29:03But it couldn't have been, though.
00:29:07I did fly through that smoke field.
00:29:09Look.
00:29:10The closest garage is further in town.
00:29:13Ain't nothing out here but tobacco fields.
00:29:16Hey, buddy!
00:29:17You break it?
00:29:18You buy it!
00:29:23I don't want any trouble.
00:29:38There's a lovely article about you in here, honey.
00:29:42So?
00:29:43I didn't know you touched so many children.
00:29:46Uh-huh.
00:29:49Oh, John.
00:29:50What have you broken now?
00:29:51That wasn't me.
00:29:52Sounds like it came from a parlor.
00:30:13This is the fourth time this week.
00:30:15He just won't stop coming.
00:30:18Ugh.
00:30:20Enough, John.
00:30:21Go stop him.
00:30:23Shh.
00:30:23Shh.
00:30:24What do you mean, shh?
00:30:26Do you just want to stand there and watch him finish?
00:30:35I'm calling the police.
00:30:37This is bigger than the police.
00:30:47What'll it be, gentlemen?
00:30:49Gin, Ricky, and two glasses of scotch.
00:30:51Neat.
00:30:52Not for me.
00:30:53Thanks.
00:30:53When did I order for you?
00:30:56McDowell's daughter said she'd only talk somewhere public.
00:30:59If I gotta be here, I'm getting sauced.
00:31:03Anyway, the point is we say one word about what we saw, she goes straight to the press.
00:31:09You heard her.
00:31:11Look, I know you don't want to cause a panic, but sooner or later people are going to figure
00:31:14out about the shit that's happening around here.
00:31:17Do you want to be out of a job?
00:31:19Do you want all of Marlowe to be as paranoid as you?
00:31:23Thinking they're being invaded by your little eight-eyed green aliens.
00:31:28Fuck 90, boys.
00:31:30Yeah, yeah.
00:31:31Put it on my tab.
00:31:35Sure, what's the name?
00:31:37So what are we going to say to her?
00:31:40Just follow my lead.
00:31:42Sometimes it's best to take more drastic action with stubborn witnesses.
00:31:47Bring these back to the booth.
00:31:51Old Clark's got a few tricks up his sleeve.
00:31:59I can see the headlines now.
00:32:01Dumb skank tells nobody nothing.
00:32:08Hey.
00:32:10Sorry for the delay.
00:32:12The bartender's really dragging his ass tonight.
00:32:14Got this especially for you, Mary.
00:32:17Gin Ricci.
00:32:18Not interested.
00:32:19My head's throbbing.
00:32:22Well, ain't no better cure for a headache than nice Gin Ricci.
00:32:25Clark.
00:32:27Clark.
00:32:29She's like she doesn't want it.
00:32:33Jesus Christ, man, you're fucking this up.
00:32:37So, what are you going to do about my missing father and dead sister?
00:32:43Miss McDowell, the honest to God truth is, I think we might have seen your father.
00:32:48And I'm not sure how to give you this news without it being a bit of a shock.
00:32:51Maybe a drink would make the news less shocking.
00:32:54In fact, let's all suck back a few and let loose.
00:32:57Chief Clark and I were patrolling by the cemetery last night and...
00:33:02We heard some bizarre moments.
00:33:03The masturbator?
00:33:05No, see, that's what we thought too, but...
00:33:08Mary, I think it was your father.
00:33:11He's alive?
00:33:12He charged at us.
00:33:14We were forced to open fire.
00:33:16He lived.
00:33:18But he took 12 bullets and he got up like it was nothing.
00:33:21So, yes, he might still be out there, but if he is, there's something very, very wrong with him.
00:33:25I'll drink to that.
00:33:27Mary?
00:33:28I don't understand.
00:33:30The sauce from her backyard must have something to do with Roy.
00:33:33Can't be a coincidence, right?
00:33:35Oh, here we go.
00:33:37Don't let him alime you.
00:33:38The big city did a number on his noodle.
00:33:43Shut up!
00:33:44Shut up!
00:33:45Shut up!
00:33:47Shut up!
00:33:49Shut up!
00:33:51Shut up!
00:33:53Detectives, are you telling me you shot my father?
00:33:57Look, the main thing is, he might be fine.
00:34:00Let's not jump to conclusions.
00:34:02We're cooperating with you and telling you what we know.
00:34:05You need to cooperate with us and keep your goddamn mouth closed.
00:34:11Now, how's about taking a sip of that gin just sitting there collecting dust?
00:34:19We'll figure it out, Mary.
00:34:21Trust me, we'll do everything we can to save your father.
00:34:25You ain't gonna save him.
00:34:31Hey!
00:34:49Excuse me.
00:34:51This is a private party.
00:34:53Pull it, big.
00:34:54I'm here to help.
00:34:56Drink.
00:35:00The thing you saw in the cemetery?
00:35:02There's no saving it.
00:35:06Your father's gone.
00:35:08He's something else now.
00:35:11Reanimated.
00:35:13A bloodthirsty creature with ties to the sky.
00:35:17The sky?
00:35:18Oh, Christ!
00:35:21So...
00:35:22My dad...
00:35:24Is dead?
00:35:26Oh, jeez.
00:35:28Don't start the waterworks just because of this bonehead.
00:35:32I don't even know who he is.
00:35:35They call me Wayne.
00:35:36They call me Wayne.
00:35:37On the corner.
00:35:40That's my name.
00:35:43Well, Wayne...
00:35:45This is a police matter.
00:35:47Hey, Wayne, we play another game here? What?
00:35:49Keep your shirt on, you mook!
00:35:57You motherfucker!
00:35:58I got a game waiting.
00:36:00You piques don't want to hear what he got to say.
00:36:02Fine by me.
00:36:04Please.
00:36:06Is there any way to save him?
00:36:09Wayne, you mentioned the sky.
00:36:12What's the connection there?
00:36:13How do you know that?
00:36:16Well...
00:36:22Hey, did you guys see the look on Principal Leszinski's face?
00:36:25This is gonna be hilarious.
00:36:27These permanent records are the only evidence of our schooling.
00:36:31And once we burn them, it'll be like we've had no education at all!
00:36:36That's funny!
00:36:41Oh, look at this.
00:36:42A woman. Let's harass her.
00:36:43Hey, baby, you wanna ride?
00:36:45Why don't I just clear off a seat for you?
00:36:47Careful there, Elmo.
00:36:47She might send her murdering father after me.
00:36:49What's he gonna do?
00:36:50Murder me?
00:36:51Yeah, you wind up dead like a dead mother!
00:36:54Knock it off!
00:36:56Okay, dude.
00:36:58Come on. Let's burn rubber.
00:37:00See ya!
00:37:01Your family sucks!
00:37:02Mind this fire catch.
00:37:04Go get some tobacco leaves.
00:37:05Those'll light up.
00:37:06What, are you kidding me? Why don't you do it?
00:37:07I gotta piss!
00:37:09I got it.
00:37:15So Hank, what happened with that girl you were seeing?
00:37:17I was choking her, right?
00:37:19Just choking her with a light out of her.
00:37:21Both hands?
00:37:22Oh yeah, two hands.
00:37:22What the hell?
00:37:25Oh, shit!
00:37:27Whoa!
00:37:30What is that?
00:37:34Jesus Christ!
00:37:47And it flew away.
00:37:49It's bullshit.
00:37:51If someone's kid died in Marlow, there would've been a report.
00:37:54He didn't die.
00:38:03Okay.
00:38:16Elmo was my brother.
00:38:19My best friend.
00:38:20Yeah.
00:38:22We grew up together, you know.
00:38:26We shared our first smoke together.
00:38:28Thirst our hot rods together.
00:38:32We even had our first threesome together.
00:38:35I'd go in the vagina, and he'd go in the butt.
00:38:38And when I felt him through that vaginal wall,
00:38:41it felt like family.
00:38:44No.
00:38:45It's just, uh...
00:38:48Just a pair of legs.
00:38:50So your brother Elmo stayed dead?
00:38:54We put 12 bullets into Old Man McDowell.
00:38:56Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:38:57And we still...
00:38:59I'm so, I'm so, so sorry.
00:39:01I beg your pardon, Mr. McDowell.
00:39:02Not to fart in your cornflakes, but for all we know,
00:39:05murder and McDowell's still out there.
00:39:07I'm not surprised you slipped through your greasy fingers.
00:39:10You can't shoot these things.
00:39:13Shit.
00:39:14To cut them in half, you got two of them.
00:39:15So what then? You stab them?
00:39:18That's your big secret?
00:39:20Not just stab them.
00:39:21You gotta drive something straight through their heart.
00:39:24Like a vampire.
00:39:26Bingo.
00:39:26Well, I get it.
00:39:28The saucer behind her house was piloted by a vampire.
00:39:33Yeah, that makes total sense.
00:39:37The night my mom got blasted apart,
00:39:40I saw something similar in the tobacco fields.
00:39:43Chief, we saw fangs in Seuss's corpse.
00:39:46You can't tell me these are all isolated cases.
00:39:49As far as I know, I'm the only one who knows how to kill them.
00:39:51We need to tell the rest of the town.
00:39:53Hold it right there, hot shot.
00:39:56Checky's mama explodes.
00:39:58You fight a pair of legs,
00:40:00and now you want us to go cry wolf to the whole fucking town?
00:40:04Get your front finger out of my face, porky pig.
00:40:07I'll kill you.
00:40:09Stay there, fellas.
00:40:10Fuck, don't touch him.
00:40:11He's a cop, he's a cop.
00:40:13You don't need this either.
00:40:15Hand me your cuffs, Wallace.
00:40:17Fuck, he's just a kid. He didn't mean anything by it.
00:40:19Cuffs, Wallace.
00:40:26You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer.
00:40:31You have the right to remain s-
00:40:33Stop it!
00:40:35Wayne's right!
00:40:36More innocent people are going to turn into these things
00:40:38if we don't tell them how to protect themselves!
00:40:41Anything you say can and will be used-
00:40:45Aren't you supposed to be this town's protectors, for Christ's sake?
00:40:48Look, Mary, we don't want to cause a panic until we're absolutely sure.
00:40:51You're not sure?
00:40:54How about the saucer in my backyard?
00:40:57My father taking 12 bullets?
00:40:59My sister murdered?
00:41:02Legs that stand up on their own, you're not fucking sure?
00:41:05How can we be?
00:41:07Zombie? Space? Vampires?
00:41:11Sounds goddamn ridiculous.
00:41:13Look, Mary, I agree, we have to tell the townspeople,
00:41:16but we have to do this in a very, very delicate manner.
00:41:24That eve's over.
00:41:28This town is now in a quarantine bar of the United States military.
00:41:34Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Colonel Harlan Talbot.
00:41:36I've waited for this moment my whole goddamn life.
00:41:40I'm instructing every one of you to evacuate the premises immediately
00:41:45and return to your homes.
00:41:46Lock and board all your doors and windows,
00:41:50because this is indeed a state of emergency.
00:41:54The town of Marlow is under attack
00:41:58by vampire zombies from space!
00:42:11Military men in Marlow?
00:42:14Our own backyards have become an intergalactic battleground,
00:42:18as our nation's finest have been on the offense,
00:42:21directly confronting several strange crabs
00:42:23hovering over Marlow County's gods.
00:42:25Despite the space lasers,
00:42:27our boys are holding their own,
00:42:29sent to America's finest and most advanced weaponry.
00:42:33Oh, take that, space vampire!
00:42:36You might have noticed some decomposing ghouls
00:42:38snacking on your friends and family.
00:42:40Fuck this!
00:42:41Well, don't worry.
00:42:42Our nation's finest medical practitioners work round the clock,
00:42:45attempting to uncover how this monstrous infection spreads.
00:42:48Most recent findings indicate that vampiracy is to blame.
00:42:52Infected humans spawn fangs,
00:42:54which they sink into the supple necks of their prey.
00:42:56It is not at all sexual.
00:42:58Meanwhile, chaos ensues.
00:43:01In fear for their lives,
00:43:03hundreds of cowards clog motorways and crowd bus stations.
00:43:06This no-good coward, for example.
00:43:09Why isn't he defending his country?
00:43:11And what about this son of a bitch?
00:43:13You'd think they'd want to defend America from the space vampires.
00:43:16They run away instead, pissing their pants like little pussies.
00:43:20Marlowe's finest citizens remain eager to volunteer as victims and test subjects.
00:43:27Rather than die, their victim reanimates.
00:43:30Their brains now zombified.
00:43:32It is not at all sexual.
00:43:34And the cycle continues.
00:43:36Uh-oh!
00:43:38Back to the drawing board, Doc.
00:43:40Due to the increasing threat,
00:43:41Mayor Douglas and local authorities remind you to board all doors and windows
00:43:45to help keep these horrifying, bloodthirsty monsters at bay.
00:43:49This concludes our Nightly Ghoul broadcast.
00:43:52Brought to you by mayoral candidate John Douglas.
00:43:54Your kids will love how hard he is.
00:43:58On crime.
00:44:02Like the puck is going fast, and the punter kicks the ball.
00:44:11What's that?
00:44:13A lullaby my mother used to sing.
00:44:17You don't gotta stay here, you know.
00:44:20What? And let you two have all the fun?
00:44:26About time I got a smile out of you.
00:44:32I'm sorry about your brother.
00:44:35I see him every time I close my eyes.
00:44:38Every time I see him.
00:44:39I see him every time I close my eyes.
00:44:40Every time I see him.
00:44:46You know, I see him.
00:44:49A vampire exploded my mom.
00:44:53Every night, when she blew up,
00:44:58I walked through the field where it happened.
00:45:02Empty patch.
00:45:05Tobacco never grew back.
00:45:11Images of her body erupting would play over and over.
00:45:24I was the one who dragged my parents out there.
00:45:28I was the one who should've stopped Susan in the first place.
00:45:31Hey.
00:45:33None of that is your fault.
00:45:35You can't blame yourself for what vampires did.
00:45:37What?
00:45:39My whole family's gone.
00:45:43I've got no one.
00:45:45Look at me.
00:45:48You got me.
00:45:51And I ain't gonna let anything happen to you, hear?
00:46:03Oh, wait.
00:46:05You're positive there's no way of saving him?
00:46:11I don't think so.
00:46:16Those things I invite you in, take over your mind.
00:46:27Become a mindless, bloodthirsty beast.
00:46:35But no soul left behind those cold, dark eyes.
00:46:43You already got me locked up.
00:46:45Can I gotta get a little privacy?
00:46:49Mary, get out of here!
00:46:52Hey!
00:46:54Over here, piggy!
00:46:55Hurry!
00:46:56Hurry!
00:46:59Don't you touch her!
00:47:03Help me!
00:47:05Help me!
00:47:06You hungry, piggy?
00:47:07Suey!
00:47:09Mary!
00:47:10Run!
00:47:12No!
00:47:36Stop the bleeding.
00:47:41Get away!
00:47:43That thing's gonna re-animate any second!
00:47:45No.
00:47:46It won't.
00:47:47I killed him.
00:47:50I killed him.
00:47:57Put your clothes on, you filthy barnyard animal.
00:48:01You can show off your abdominal muscles in your own sweet leisure time.
00:48:06Now.
00:48:08Cigarette?
00:48:13Sure.
00:48:17Light?
00:48:24Good, isn't it?
00:48:26Good.
00:48:28Now you listen to me, boy.
00:48:31This could go two ways.
00:48:32I can be as sweet and loving as a devoted partner,
00:48:35who's considered enough to draw you a steaming hot bath up for a hard day's labor.
00:48:39Or, I could be as sour as you crazy uncle, who lives out of town and beats you mercilessly
00:48:46while your parents are way in and out on vacation somewhere nice, like the island of Tahiti.
00:48:52What's wrong with you, you fucking psycho?
00:48:57Where's Mary?
00:48:58Oh, I bet you'd like to know that.
00:49:01Where is Mary McDowell?
00:49:03Well, don't you worry.
00:49:04Our doctors are checking all her vitals every hour on that hour.
00:49:08Now.
00:49:09I need information.
00:49:11I need lots of information.
00:49:13And you are the one that's gonna give it to me.
00:49:16You're gonna sing for me, little birdie.
00:49:19You're gonna sing and sing for me.
00:49:22Y'all are saying this?
00:49:25What, are you gonna shoot me?
00:49:26Well, hell, could be.
00:49:28Hell, hell, maybe I'll shoot myself, huh?
00:49:31Oh, maybe I'll shoot one of the things out there, fellas.
00:49:34Maybe I'll shoot everyone.
00:49:36Oh, that would be a goddamn show.
00:49:42But I'm begging you to like that, wouldn't ya?
00:49:44Yeah, freak.
00:49:46Fizzy, I was there back in 44 when our nation stormed the nations of Normandy.
00:49:51Nazi gunfire slicing men's heads clean off.
00:49:54Well, I tell ya, I thought that that'd be the craziest darn shit that I ever done see.
00:49:59But then, lo and fucking behold, middle of the night, I get a phone call.
00:50:04Colonel Tabbitt, yes, sir!
00:50:06We got vampires attacking Uncle Sam.
00:50:10Well, they deployed my sorry ass from wherever the hell it is that I am from.
00:50:14And they brought me here to try and take him down.
00:50:18Now, I got good boys dying by the minute trying to kill these sons of bitches.
00:50:23We shoot one of them dead, the thing just gets right back up like the day crawled out of its
00:50:27mama's little cooch.
00:50:29My men are literally becoming the monsters that they are trying to stop.
00:50:33And these ladies here tell me, hell, that you know how to kill them for good.
00:50:37Well, go ahead, razz my berries.
00:50:41Now, before you spin your webble eyes and try to mislead me with your false information,
00:50:46I just want you to remember one thing, that I can be as fresh and warm and inviting as a
00:50:55fresh slice of ample pie in a mold,
00:50:57or I can be as treacherous as a sly jungle cock lurking in the bars of the Mississippi, waiting to
00:51:05snap, to bite it off.
00:51:08Now, whatcha gonna be, brevet?
00:51:12It's the heart.
00:51:13Fuck you.
00:51:14It's true.
00:51:15You gotta stab them in the heart.
00:51:17It's the only way to stop their reanimating.
00:51:19What?
00:51:21Stab H1 in the heart?
00:51:23Individually?
00:51:24Well, what, do you think I am, the multi-armed Hildiddy Vistu?
00:51:30At the rate that these smokers are multiplying, that is simply impossible.
00:51:34It's the only method that'll stop them.
00:51:37Any other way, I'll just deter the inevitable.
00:51:41Unless we can deter them first, and then go in for the kill.
00:51:45Well, now that would be something.
00:51:48Oh, yes, I like this.
00:51:51We armed the town.
00:51:54There are over 4,000 people in Marlowe.
00:51:57Where the hell do you expect to get that many weapons?
00:52:00Well, weapons?
00:52:04My son, you are in the God-blessed United States of America!
00:52:10Two, three, four, yeah, two!
00:52:12The black-fuck marching!
00:52:15Let's end!
00:52:20Citizens of Barlow!
00:52:22A mandatory gathering will take place this evening at Town Hall at 7 p.m.
00:52:26The military will supply self-defense weaponry and basic training
00:52:30against further vampire zombie attacks.
00:52:35Oh, this is too perfect!
00:52:37Dylan must have commanded Douglas to decree this!
00:52:43It's brilliant!
00:52:45We'll turn all these fools into vampire zombies in one go!
00:52:51One go!
00:52:54Dylan!
00:52:55Was this you, forcing Douglas to gather the humans all into one centralized area?
00:53:03Wow!
00:53:04What a smarty I raised, huh?
00:53:07Dad, uh, listen.
00:53:09Don't get mad.
00:53:10It's not that big of a deal.
00:53:12But I may have crashed the ship.
00:53:14What?
00:53:17Oh!
00:53:17What did he say?
00:53:19What was that, Your Excellents?
00:53:21Sorry!
00:53:22Hard to hear you!
00:53:25Going through a space tunnel!
00:53:29Dylan, what the fuck?!
00:53:31Calm down, God!
00:53:33You're so frickin' dramatic!
00:53:34I'm fine, by the way!
00:53:36What happened?!
00:53:37It's not my fault!
00:53:39Okay?
00:53:39I cut across on the outskirts of town
00:53:41to deliver the bait of vampire zombies
00:53:42like you told me to!
00:53:44And?
00:53:45I'm malfunctioning with the cruiser control!
00:53:48I can't explain it!
00:53:49The thrusters shorted!
00:53:51The lasers went off!
00:53:53The humans must have some weapon
00:53:55to knock our ships out of the sky!
00:53:58You must figure out what they've created to cause this!
00:54:03You need to...
00:54:05Disguise myself!
00:54:07Already on it!
00:54:08Meanwhile, we've been affecting humans
00:54:10on the perimeter of town
00:54:10and we're closing in on the center!
00:54:13Oh, good!
00:54:14The council will be pleased!
00:54:17Dad, there's something else I have to tell you!
00:54:20I've heard rumors!
00:54:22The council's lost all confidence in you, Dad!
00:54:25If you've failed them again,
00:54:28they're gonna have you killed!
00:54:30Or murdered!
00:54:34Huh?
00:54:48Then I'll just have to see to it
00:54:51that my plan doesn't fail!
00:54:54I'll go to Earth
00:54:56and take care of their leader myself!
00:54:58I'll go to Earth
00:55:09I'll go to Earth
00:55:27and take care of myself!
00:55:28Ugh!
00:55:30Ah!
00:55:35Ah!
00:55:44Ah!
00:55:46Ah!
00:55:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:55:57Think this way.
00:56:00Ha.
00:56:01I've had to!
00:56:26The hell is that?
00:56:32Get it off me!
00:56:34I can't get a full shot!
00:56:37It's you!
00:56:56Douglas!
00:57:02Oh, shit! You don't want to eat me! I'm older! Fat!
00:57:07Eat you? What the fuck?
00:57:10No, my wife, on the other hand. Golly, she does calisthenics all the time. I bet she tastes great!
00:57:16Look into my eyes, darling!
00:57:20Come get it!
00:57:23Come get it!
00:57:26Ow!
00:57:33John! John! What's happening?
00:57:36Vampires!
00:58:03Move it! Move it! Move it!
00:58:06You have a weapon to get inside!
00:58:07Get these kids out of my way!
00:58:09Ay-yi-yi!
00:58:10Is this your first alien invasion?
00:58:18Listen up, folks!
00:58:20Old Batboy here is, uh, completely safe.
00:58:23He's been restrained for the purposes of this demonstration.
00:58:27Now, uh, it's incredibly important that you know how to defend yourselves when confronted by these things.
00:58:34And the technique I'm about to demonstrate is, uh, is the most effective approach we currently have.
00:58:46Now, it can be a bit gruesome, so I'm gonna ask that you younger children really pay attention.
00:58:53Parents, if you could actually go ahead and force open your child's eyes.
00:59:01Hey, um, now, stabbing their heart with a stake will kill the creatures.
00:59:06Oh! And prevent reanimation.
00:59:09But it's not as easy as you think.
00:59:12These things are extremely aggressive.
00:59:16Is that right?
00:59:18If you can't get close enough and try to stab them, you'd end up having your rope shoot to shreds.
00:59:30So as an extra safety precaution, I'm gonna ask that everybody here, take a big step forward.
00:59:38So you can really see how it's done.
00:59:40And now, uh, we have our stake.
00:59:43And with one swift motion...
00:59:51You might need to do this multiple times.
00:59:56But, mate, are you anywhere near his heart?
01:00:03We're stabbing too low.
01:00:06Lesson one.
01:00:08Know where the human heart is located.
01:00:10Here.
01:00:12Pick notes, pig.
01:00:14Lesson two.
01:00:16The stab should be one quick, swift motion.
01:00:20You might only have one shot, so you better make it count.
01:00:24Quick!
01:00:25And forceful.
01:00:26Got it?
01:00:27Yeah, no, that's all right.
01:00:28Yeah, yeah, all right, yeah.
01:00:29All right, let's get someone up here to give it a go.
01:00:41Mary?
01:00:57Okay, I can do this.
01:01:00Quick and forceful, right?
01:01:02Oh, Wayne, I can't.
01:01:07You got this.
01:01:10You saw I did that porker down at the station.
01:01:13Wayne.
01:01:14These are people whose lives have been taken from them.
01:01:18People like my sister.
01:01:21My father.
01:01:23Your brother.
01:01:26I know you said there's nothing left, but deep down, it's still a human.
01:01:34I know it's hard to separate these things from the people they once were.
01:01:38But this thing wasn't restrained.
01:01:41And it came down to you or it.
01:01:44Do you think it would hesitate?
01:01:48You can't think of these things as people, Mary.
01:01:51They're vampire zombies.
01:01:53From space.
01:02:00So I hold it like this?
01:02:03No, let me show you.
01:02:08The Germans are coming, okay?
01:02:10No, you kill them.
01:02:11No, you kill them.
01:02:12You got a bigger gun.
01:02:15Report.
01:02:17As it stands, we've managed to quarantine most of the downtown sector.
01:02:22Excellent.
01:02:22Additionally, we've set up burn pits for the bodies of those vampires we've eliminated.
01:02:29Oh, nice.
01:02:30And that greaser kid, he was right.
01:02:33Those stakes do work.
01:02:35Good.
01:02:36You should see their hearts.
01:02:38Why?
01:02:38They pop like cherry tomatoes.
01:02:44Commander.
01:02:48Dylan, how are we doing in the skies?
01:02:51Oh, you'll flip your lid to here.
01:02:53We're doing gangbusters, fellow human.
01:02:55The superior vampire race won't know what hit them.
01:02:57We have it made in the shade.
01:03:01Really?
01:03:02Their ships get them to the Earth.
01:03:05We have to find a way to remove their transportation to Earth.
01:03:09Yeah, about that.
01:03:10Do we have a secret weapon or anything like that?
01:03:14Secret weapon?
01:03:15Secret weapon?
01:03:16Secret weapon?
01:03:17Anybody?
01:03:18No.
01:03:19Yeah, one of their ships.
01:03:21It crashed down.
01:03:23Mid-flight the other day.
01:03:25Was that any of you guys?
01:03:27No.
01:03:28Is it hot in here or just me?
01:03:30All right, all right.
01:03:31Listen up.
01:03:32We got troops surrounding the building.
01:03:33We got choppers in the sky, or as I like to call them, whirly birds.
01:03:36And we got...
01:03:37Look at the mirror.
01:03:37Why the hell, what is going on here?
01:03:39How come no one's listening to my long-winded rants?
01:03:41Huh.
01:03:42What's that?
01:03:43Good.
01:03:44Uh-oh.
01:03:47Attack!
01:03:48You got him.
01:03:49Hey, that's me!
01:03:50I'll take that.
01:03:52Slap him.
01:03:53Get out of this time.
01:03:54Not me, you idiot.
01:03:55What time do I got him?
01:03:56I'm holding him down.
01:03:57Stop!
01:04:02Oh, shit.
01:04:04Christ, he's one of them.
01:04:05Get something to use as a stake.
01:04:07You may kill me, humans, but for your pathetic planet, it's too late.
01:04:12What the hell are you talking about, you cough and sleeping son of a bitch?
01:04:17Get him!
01:04:18Ah!
01:04:29This is Fang One, approaching coordinates.
01:04:32Roger that, Fang One.
01:04:33There can't close the one.
01:04:34Probably enough for the inside.
01:04:35Little boy, here, take this shotgun.
01:04:38Whoa!
01:04:43Vampire!
01:04:45The zombie! Vampire, the zombie!
01:04:47They've arrived!
01:04:55Bang 2, wipe them out.
01:04:58Get the fuck out of the way!
01:05:03We're gonna fuck some nails!
01:05:09Eric, listen about that demonstration earlier.
01:05:15You need to get everyone armed. Here.
01:05:17Take these tanks and get them to that pack of little old ladies over there.
01:05:22Gee whiz, I fucking scared.
01:05:49Let's get some heat on those tanks.
01:05:50I've taken the shot!
01:05:59Let's get some heat on those tanks.
01:06:05Oh, Wallace, you know, we'd better smart these demons up now.
01:06:10Yeah, I reckon this is the last time that we'll have a chance to wrap our mushy snips around one
01:06:15of these long and cylindrical tobacco-filled tubes.
01:06:18Yeah, there you go.
01:06:23Well, we won't make it, but we'll try.
01:06:33One more week to retirement, partner.
01:06:36I got a whole box of these Cubans waiting for me down in old Mexico.
01:06:41Not to mention a hot piece of ass.
01:06:44And get this, not only is he good-looking, he's nice.
01:06:50He really gets me.
01:06:53Shit.
01:07:05Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Get the fucker!
01:07:21Huh?
01:07:28This is Officer Wallace pressing backup urgently! We need backup!
01:07:35Ah!
01:07:36Yo, yo, yo, yo!
01:07:42You're right!
01:07:43Oh!
01:07:45Oh!
01:07:45Oh!
01:07:46AH!
01:08:06It can't hold much longer!
01:08:08Connect your old idiot forpping all this door!
01:08:11Oh, come on.
01:08:15Clopo, we need you.
01:08:22Clopo, come!
01:08:24Go get some tobacco leaves. Those will bite out.
01:08:36This is tobacco.
01:08:41I know how to stop them, Mr. Tobacco!
01:08:50Hey! Where'd that disgusting fucking bat go?
01:08:58I'll get you, you fucker.
01:09:16Where do I see my glasses? Where are my glasses?
01:09:28Oh, my God!
01:09:28Oh, my God!
01:09:32It's Dracula!
01:09:42It's Dracula!
01:09:44Greetings, humans of Earth.
01:09:50Where are you, Bat Boy?
01:09:57Come out. Come out.
01:10:00Wherever you are.
01:10:13Do not hide your eyes, humans.
01:10:17Look upon your victor.
01:10:19Your conqueror.
01:10:20Your town is now under my control.
01:10:25Rightfully so.
01:10:27For I have defeated...
01:10:29Oh, my God!
01:10:36Outside your city hall is an entire army of your friends.
01:10:43Your peers.
01:10:46Your family.
01:10:49Thirsting to turn all of you into vampire zombies.
01:10:55What about the children?
01:10:59They, too, will become vampire zombies.
01:11:03Only much smaller.
01:11:05Oh, no way, God damn it!
01:11:08Listen to me, you ugly son of a bitch.
01:11:12You ain't turning me into no space ghost.
01:11:14I lived in Marlow my whole life.
01:11:17And I'm gonna die in Marlow as a God damn human being!
01:11:21This fucking thing comes in here,
01:11:24wants to take you and your young'uns and turn them into zombies,
01:11:26and you all just wanna lie down and let it happen?
01:11:29Please, you're embarrassing yourself.
01:11:32You saw that Douglas' head, didn't you?
01:11:36Yeah, that's true.
01:11:38There is nothing you can do.
01:11:42Nothing I can do! Hell, half of Marlow's in this room!
01:11:45We all got issued something from the military, didn't we?
01:11:49Didn't we?
01:11:50Yeah!
01:11:51This fucking goof can't turn us into space zombies if we're already dead!
01:11:56Yeah.
01:11:59I say we show this fucker what Marlow know what America's made of!
01:12:07Wake up!
01:12:08Are you suggesting?
01:12:09You're goddamn right I am!
01:12:11Now, we might not be able to kill all of them,
01:12:13but we can at least kill ourselves, right?
01:12:16Yeah!
01:12:16Yeah, I guess so.
01:12:18With a knife? Is that right?
01:12:19Yeah!
01:12:19Come on, everybody!
01:12:21Wait, what?
01:12:25Right.
01:12:26Where was I?
01:12:29My ears!
01:12:33Beasts!
01:12:34My children!
01:12:36Yes, my children!
01:12:39Beasts!
01:12:50Ah, fuck you!
01:13:20I got you!
01:13:23All units, open fire!
01:13:46Daddy!
01:13:47Daddy!
01:13:49Daddy, I hate you!
01:13:54Daddy!
01:13:57And Good Night!
01:14:00Where is it from?
01:14:02I've been down
01:14:06I've been down
01:14:09Overhead
01:14:12I lay you down
01:14:15Right back
01:14:33Oh
01:14:36Lay you down
01:14:40Now and rest
01:14:43May your slaughter
01:14:45Be blessed
01:14:48Lay you down
01:14:50Now and rest
01:14:53May your slaughter
01:14:54Be blessed
01:15:11Hey
01:15:13Thought we lost you there
01:15:16This is tobacco
01:15:16Wayne, do you have any more cigarettes?
01:15:32Everyone, it's the tobacco
01:15:34Light your cigarettes
01:16:12Fuck you, vampire
01:16:14Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette
01:16:18Huff, huff, huff
01:16:20And if you smoke yourself shit
01:16:22You hate her at the golden gate
01:16:24But you hate to make him wake
01:16:25But you just got to have another cigarette
01:16:28Ha, ha, ha, ha
01:16:36May name, may name
01:16:38I'm going down
01:16:40Oh no, look out
01:16:48Who knows something as harmless as tobacco
01:16:51How would it be so lethal?
01:16:52I don't know
01:16:53I don't know
01:16:57Wait
01:16:58You just got to have another cigarette
01:17:09Wayne, Dracula
01:17:11Oh yeah
01:17:12Hey
01:17:13Come here
01:17:15Wayne
01:17:16Wayne, are you okay?
01:17:22Yeah, I'm fine
01:17:24Boom
01:17:37Come here
01:17:38What is happening?
01:17:40How can you do
01:17:41Come here
01:17:41This way
01:17:43Come here
01:17:45Come here
01:17:45No
01:17:47Fire
01:17:48Yes
01:17:51We hate
01:17:52We hate
01:17:54We hate
01:17:56No
01:17:56We hate
01:17:56No
01:18:00Mary!
01:18:01You son of a bitch!
01:18:19Jeepers.
01:18:21That was...
01:18:23quick and forceful.
01:18:25Hey, who's that guy in the cave?
01:18:27Whoa!
01:18:33Hey, Wayne!
01:18:34Come piss on this vampire!
01:18:37Come on!
01:18:49Officer Daniels, have you seen Chief Clark?
01:18:53I'm sorry, sir.
01:18:55I'm just standing in him.
01:19:04You want the last drag?
01:19:08Might lay off of those for a while.
01:19:12Suit yourself.
01:19:18You think you're going to stay here in Marlow after all that's happened?
01:19:24I certainly don't want to be in my house all alone.
01:19:28I just can't believe that they're gone.
01:19:30I just can't believe that they're gone.
01:19:32Dad,
01:19:35he was our rock.
01:19:38He made sure we were safe.
01:19:42I want to pipe up and say I'll keep you safe, but you handled those vampire zombies better than I
01:19:48did.
01:19:49I can still say it.
01:19:51How about we keep each other safe?
01:20:08How about we keep each other safe?
01:20:11And this one here is for the safe, but Chief Clark mostly kept his alcohol in safe.
01:20:18And this one here is for the...
01:20:19Hey, Phyllis, do you really think I'm the right choice for this?
01:20:24Oh, hi.
01:20:25No one else really survived.
01:20:29Looks like there's a storm coming.
01:20:31I reckon you're right.
01:20:37Hello, this is Officer...
01:20:39I mean, Chief Wallace.
01:20:45I don't know.
01:20:48Well, did he finish?
01:20:53Okay, all right.
01:20:54Thank you, Mrs. Alfonso.
01:20:57What?
01:20:58The public masturbator?
01:21:00Well, we had a report that he was killed outside the mayor's house.
01:21:04Must be a copycat, Carmen.
01:21:21I don't know.
01:21:47Now, I'm a fellow with a heart of gold, with the ways of a gentleman, I've been told, the
01:21:52kind of a feller that wouldn't even harm a flea.
01:21:55But if me and a certain character met, the guy that invented the cigarette, I'd murder
01:21:59that son of a gun in the first degree.
01:22:02Of course, it ain't cause I don't smoke myself, and I don't reckon they hinder your health.
01:22:07I've smoked them all my life, and I ain't dead yet.
01:22:10But nicotine slaves are all the same, at a petting party or a poker game, everything's
01:22:15gotta stop, while they smokes a cigarette.
01:22:18Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette, puff, puff, puff, and if you smoke yourself to death,
01:22:25tell Saint Peter at the Golden Gate that you hates to make him wait, you've gotta have another
01:22:32cigarette.
01:22:33In a game of chance the other night, old Dame Fortune was doin' me right, the kings and queens
01:22:38just kept on comin' around.
01:22:41I got a full and I bet it high, but my bluff didn't work on a certain guy, he just
01:22:45kept
01:22:45on raisin' and layin' the money down.
01:22:48He'd raise me, I'd raise him, I sweated blood, you gotta sink or swim, he finally called, didn't
01:22:54raise the bet.
01:22:55I said, Ace is full, pal, how about you?
01:22:58He said, I'll tell you in just a minute or two, but right now, I just gotta have myself
01:23:02a cigarette.
01:23:04Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette, puff, puff, puff, and if you smoke yourself to death,
01:23:11tell Saint Peter at the Golden Gate that you hates to make him wait, you've gotta have another
01:23:17cigarette.
01:23:35The other night I had me a date with the cutest little gal in these fifty states, one of them
01:23:39high-bred uptown fancy little dames.
01:23:42She said she loved me and it seemed to me that everything was about like it ought to be,
01:23:46so hand in hand we strolled out in lover's veins.
01:23:50She was oh so far from a chunk of ice, our smoochin' party was goin' real nice, so help me,
01:23:55hannah, I think it'd have been there yet.
01:23:58I gave her a kiss, a little squeeze, she said, Tex, excuse me please, but I've just gotta have
01:24:03a filter cigarette.
01:24:06Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette, puff, puff, puff, and if you smoke yourself to death,
01:24:13tell Saint Peter at the Golden Gate that you hates to make him wait, you've gotta have another
01:24:19cigarette.
01:24:33Well, that's alright mama, that's alright for you, that's alright mama, just any way you
01:24:42do, but that's alright, that's alright, that's alright now mama.
01:24:49Mama, any way you do.
01:24:54Mama, any way you do.
01:24:55Well, mama, she done told me, papa done told me too.
01:24:59Son, that gal you foolin', wish she ain't no good for you, but that's alright, that's alright,
01:25:07that's alright, that's alright now mama, any way you do.
01:25:38I'm leaving town, baby, I'm leaving town be sure.
01:25:42Well, then you won't be bothered with me, hangin' round your door, but that's alright, that's alright, that's alright now
01:25:53mama, any way you do.
01:25:58Ha-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de
01:26:05-de-de I'd need you, love it then.
01:26:07That's alright, that's alright now mama, any way you do.
01:26:28I love you