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00:18Thank you very much.
00:30Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown studio and if I were to say to you, putting pants on Philip,
00:36you may well wonder what on earth I was talking about, something to do with Prince Philip, dressing Prince Philip,
00:40no, but if I were to say to you, that's another fine mess you've got me into, then you would,
00:46I guess, know, or at least millions and millions of you would know that we're referring to that wonderful comedy
00:52duo, Laurel and Hardy, because it was on this day way back in 1927, one of their earliest short films.
01:00Putting Pants on Philip was released and of course they went on to be an absolute huge success. One of
01:07them, Stan Laurel, actually, was born in Ulverston in Lancashire, which now is in Cumbria, and Oliver Hardy in Georgia
01:14in the US.
01:15So I began thinking, well, comedy duos. Who do I love? I love Fry and Laurie. They were brilliant. I
01:22loved French and Saunders, of course.
01:25You're still in one of my ones.
01:26Paul Whitehouse and Harry Enfield.
01:29Uh-huh. All the classics.
01:30Come on, then.
01:30You didn't say Ant and Deck or the Chuckle Brothers?
01:33No.
01:34Surprising you, Nick. Surely they're top of your list as well.
01:36Would you reckon Ant and Deck as a comedy duo, though?
01:39I think some people would, possibly.
01:41I like Bill Bailey and Dylan Moran.
01:44That's good.
01:44They do a little bit of stuff together, and they're individually very funny and together, even funnier.
01:49But Fry and Laurie, they made me roar. I love them.
01:53Now, who's back? I'll tell you who's back.
01:55Antoinette Ryan from Nina in the County Tip, Gaelic football and a former rugby player, on five wins, looking for
02:03her sixth today.
02:04Good luck to you, Antoinette.
02:05Thanks, Nick.
02:06And it seems to be sort of an Irish day today because Justin Ray is joining you, competing against you.
02:12A postman from Galway, formerly a fireman at Galway Airport, who once had to attack on a nasty fire in
02:17a helicopter.
02:18Is that right?
02:19That's right. I was out at the Galway races, actually.
02:21And when the helicopters just got into a bit of trouble, I had to run in with the hose standing
02:26underneath the rotor as the engine was still on.
02:28But luckily, two more pilots ran in and gave the pilot a hand.
02:32That's a nasty business.
02:33It wasn't nice.
02:34It wasn't as nervous as this.
02:37Don't you worry about this.
02:39Let's have a warm round of applause for Justin and Antoinette.
02:45And Susie, of course.
02:47Susie, do you have a favourite comedy duo?
02:49We didn't mention Mel Smith and Griff Rees-Jones, did we?
02:52I think they were amazing.
02:52Oh, they were great.
02:53Yeah.
02:53And we had Griff on here recently.
02:55We did.
02:56Nice bloke.
02:56Lovely.
02:57Great guy.
02:58And you're joined today by Alastair Magow, an impersonator, comedian, actor, singer, writer, and a good friend of this show.
03:04Welcome.
03:05Welcome, Alastair.
03:06Thank you, Nick.
03:06Nice to be here.
03:07Something of a relief, too, actually, because there was some confusion with my agent.
03:10I thought, actually, coming up here, I was going to be doing 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
03:14Oh.
03:14I'm actually very pleased to see you and think I'm going to be hearing you later on saying,
03:17you'd be sure of it.
03:19And I haven't got to listen to Jimmy Carr going, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:24Where does that laugh come from?
03:26Um, well.
03:28It's, it's, it's, that's the trademark, am I right?
03:30Yeah, yeah.
03:31He didn't do it when he started out, but suddenly he's, it's his own little double act.
03:34It's Jimmy Carr and his laugh.
03:35Yeah, I prefer Mellon Griff, like you, I think,
03:37I'm already Mellon Griff.
03:39Where an isolated Griff was on the show very recently,
03:42because he was one of my comedy heroes when I was a lad.
03:45It was Griff, absolutely.
03:47How anybody managed to speak without using their vocal cords at all,
03:51I don't know.
03:52Lots more of that later on.
03:54Lovely stuff, Alistair.
03:55Now then, Antoinette, take us away on a letters game.
03:58Thanks, Nick.
03:59Hi, Rachel.
03:59Hi, Antoinette.
04:00Can I have a consonant, please?
04:02Start today with D.
04:04And another.
04:05M.
04:07A third.
04:08T.
04:09One more.
04:11N.
04:13A vowel.
04:14O.
04:16Another.
04:17U.
04:18Another.
04:20E.
04:21A consonant.
04:24K.
04:25And a final consonant, please.
04:27And a final Q.
04:29And here's the countdown clock.
04:33To be sure.
04:35To be too.
04:45MUSIC PLAYS
05:02Now then, Antoinette. Seven.
05:04A seven. Justin?
05:05Seven as well. Two sevens, Antoinette.
05:07Mounted.
05:08And the same. You're both mounted.
05:10And in the corner, Alastair, Susie?
05:13I hope we had mounted as well, but I presume you could have demount?
05:16No, it's dismount, isn't it?
05:16You can. No, you can actually have demount.
05:18It means something slightly different.
05:20It means able to be dismantled.
05:22So it's used linguistically a slightly different way,
05:24but for all intents and purposes, it is allowable,
05:28and it's pretty much the same as two.
05:29And anything else?
05:30No, quoted for six is our best.
05:33Well, two good scores to begin with.
05:36Seven apiece, and Justin, letters.
05:39Hi, Rachel. Hi, Justin.
05:40Can I have a consonant, please?
05:41Thank you. Start with C.
05:43And another.
05:45R.
05:46And another.
05:48L.
05:49And a vowel.
05:51A.
05:51And another vowel.
05:53E.
05:54And another vowel.
05:55A.
05:56And a consonant.
05:58M.
05:59And another consonant.
06:01W.
06:03And a final vowel, please.
06:04And a final U.
06:07Stand by.
06:07One time.
06:09And another vowel.
06:12And another vowel, Queen,
06:38Justin just six Antoinette just six so Justin a camera
06:43Thank you more are you happy with more absolutely?
06:47Yes, it's um your hand we talk about a line getting more poor for example a line getting it's more
06:51and there's a rugby mall
06:53Isn't there Antoinette thought I was thinking I hope you don't get involved in too many of those anything else
06:58there?
06:58Alistair I had karma as well, but there was a seven two sevens actually one was caramel
07:03Yes, which I didn't see and also macula macula degeneration
07:10Is that what I've got which is why I didn't see it?
07:13Very good 13 points apiece now then we're with Rachel now Antoinette
07:20Numbers can we try four large please?
07:23We can thank you Antoinette four large ones and two little ones coming up and for the first time today
07:28The small numbers are six and two and the large ones
07:31Twenty-five fifty seventy-five and one hundred and the target nine hundred and twenty five nine to five
08:10Antoinette nine to five yes, Justin and nine to five so two by six by seventy-five two by six
08:16twelve by seventy-five nine hundred plus
08:1825 plus 25
08:21Yes, Justin six and two is eight six and two eight times the hundred eight hundred plus to seventy-five
08:27in the fifty
08:27Yeah, lots of ways in this nice round one
08:33Well, we're off to a blistering start twenty-three points apiece as we go into our first tea-time teaser
08:40Which is fella put and the clue the fella put lots of food in his mouth at once the fella
08:47put lots of food in his mouth at once
09:05Welcome back I left with the clue the fella put lots of food in his mouth at once and the
09:10answer is plateful
09:12plateful
09:13Twenty-three points apiece Justin letters. I can have a constant again. Thank you, Justin
09:18P and another
09:21and
09:22And another place
09:23Oh, and a vowel
09:26Oh, another vowel
09:28Hi, and another vowel
09:31E and a consonant
09:34S and consonant
09:37P and I love another vowel please and the last one another Oh count down
09:43z
09:44Oh
09:44work
09:47The
09:48in
09:54Oh
10:12T
10:13Justin a seven Antoinette seven Justin propose propose and nippers as in cheeky little nipper
10:23absolutely fine yes now then Alistair there was an eight which was poisoner a poisoner yes
10:31obviously you see it very good poisoner Susie no I was with poison tea that's it all right 30 points
10:41apiece closer on the thing here Antoinette are you gonna break free with the letters game
10:46it can only be the continent again thank you Antoinette yes and another ah another L and one
10:56more why a phone a another oh another a consonant P and a vowel please and the last one I
11:14can't done
11:46Antoinette six yes Justin sixes up my word Rosalie and sorely sorely yep
11:55both specified adverbs absolutely fine now then what does the corner got for us there were a couple
12:01of sevens there spoiler yep there's there and replies and replies yes Susie with all right
12:10so second numbers game for today now then Justin what are you going to tell Rachel to do and can
12:17have one large and any other five you can indeed one large one five little ones for you and for
12:23this
12:24round the small numbers are nine three seven another three two and a large one fifty and the target 224
12:34224
13:06no Justin I have 224 not written down and for that 224 so Justin uh seven minus three is four
13:13seven minus three four and nine minus the three is six nine minus the fifty six add-on for 56
13:19well done 224 I'm more or less the same except I did three by two for the six
13:23six and seven months yeah perfect good stuff my word we may have a competition on our hands here Rachel
13:3246 points apiece but now let's turn to uh
13:35the wonderful Alistair now then speak to us Alistair in many voices I know you're not a football man Nick
13:43but the new football season to me doesn't seem quite
13:45the same without Alan Hanson on match of the day because he's now retired which means that as I'm sure
13:50Rachel knows the main pundit on match of the day these days is Alan Shearer
13:52but I worry about Alan Shearer's vision because every week on match the day he'll say something like
13:57well people are saying that uh you know Wayne Rooney could go on to Captain England for many years to
14:02come but uh I can't see it Gary I really can't
14:06or he'll say yeah well people are saying that Man United could still qualify for the Champions League but I
14:10tell you what Gary I can't see it I really can't
14:13and a lot of people are saying to me that the reason why I can't see things is because I
14:16have a slightly arrogant habit of closing my eyes at the end of almost every sentence
14:19that I ought to but actually watch myself back on the BBC iPlayer the other day and I tell you
14:23what Gary I couldn't see it I really couldn't
14:27but of course we had lots of new pundits on BBC and ITV for the World Cup and who would
14:31have thought the star pundit probably would have been Rio Ferdinand who was fantastic
14:35uh yeah you know I think a lot of people are saying that you know that uh that England you
14:39know nowadays that that that uh you know they they they're spent force and all that sort of thing you
14:43know but I think that that that England can still can still be a match for any team in it
14:47I think they're still match for any team in the world on their day
14:49it's just a great shame that that their day happens to be like February the 29th isn't it
14:54and England manager of course is Roy Hodgson and uh Roy was saying in the press recently he likes a
15:00lot of sports not just football apparently he plays a lot of table tennis and if you know this he
15:03said uh
15:03well I do very very much enjoy uh playing uh table tennis or ping pong as some people would would
15:10have it of course I remember a few years ago I'm going back a little bit here now if you'd
15:14like
15:15but uh uh Boris Johnson as she said the table tennis was once known as whiff-waff uh which was
15:20a big surprise to me because I thought whiff-waff uh were the England fans who misbehaved on away games
15:25well there you go
15:26so he likes his table tennis apparently um but I mentioned Alan Hanson I hope that he's going to come
15:31back on something else because he's a great broadcaster and apparently there were talks that he's in talks to come
15:36back as a judge on Bake Off which would match it up a bit wouldn't it if you had Sue
15:39Perkins saying so Alan what did you make of Richard's Victoria sponge
15:43well for me a good Victoria sponge is all about consistency okay and you put a knife into that
15:50it loses its shape time and again but okay Richard knows that I'm gluten intolerant he's had to cater for
15:57that
15:57that's not easy but for me if you want to be considered a good baker you've got to be able
16:02to make a good Victoria sponge
16:03wheat in wheat out your rear air what do you reckon Alan well people are saying that Richard could go
16:10on to win this competition
16:11but I'll tell you what Alan I can't see it I really can't
16:15oh brilliant
16:20wonderful stuff I love it
16:2346 points apiece and Antoinette we're back with you for a letters game
16:27constant please Rachel
16:28thank you Antoinette
16:30W
16:30and another
16:33R
16:33another
16:36C
16:36another
16:38T
16:39a vowel
16:40a
16:42another
16:42another
16:44another
16:45A
16:47a consonant
16:48N
16:50and a final vowel please
16:54and a final E
16:56and here's the countdown clock
16:58and here's the countdown clock
16:58and here's the countdown clock
17:10a
17:10everything that has been bombed for us
17:30everybody has taken out of 90 weeks
17:30to next me
17:32I'll try and note
17:33Try it. Eight. Wow, Antoinette.
17:35Come on. Trance.
17:38Trance. And...
17:38Watercane. Watercane.
17:42No, it would have been nine, actually, that one, Justin.
17:45Not there, I'm afraid. Sorry.
17:47Don't worry. I'd like...
17:48What's the corner got to say?
17:50We had create and canter, two more sixes.
17:53And nectar was also there,
17:55but it didn't look like it was anything bigger than a six.
17:57OK. All right.
17:5952 plays, 46. And...
18:01Justin.
18:03I'll have a consonant, please, Rachel.
18:05Thank you, Justin.
18:06T. And another.
18:09H. And another.
18:12L. And a vowel, please.
18:16A. And another.
18:18O. And another vowel.
18:21I. And a consonant.
18:24T. And a consonant.
18:28D. And a final vowel, please.
18:31And...
18:31Final oaf.
18:33Stand by.
19:04Justin.
19:05Just four.
19:06Four.
19:07Antoinette.
19:08Six.
19:09Justin.
19:10Halt.
19:11Antoinette.
19:12Ulith.
19:13How are you spelling it?
19:14W-O-L-I-T-H.
19:15I-T-H is absolutely brilliant.
19:19It's any of the rounded grains that make up ulite, which is a limestone made up of such grains.
19:24That's absolutely brilliant.
19:25Well done.
19:25Now then, let's have Alistair's nine.
19:29It looked like there should have been one, didn't it?
19:31But I don't think there was, was there?
19:33No, we were trounced.
19:33We had taken for five, so well done.
19:35All right.
19:35Fifty-eight plays.
19:36Forty-six.
19:37And it's numbers for Antoinette.
19:40Six ones, please, Rachel.
19:41The other end of the spectrum.
19:43Six little ones.
19:44Thank you, Antoinette.
19:44All right.
19:45And this time around, your numbers are two, one, ten, six, three, and nine.
19:53And the targets are reached 924.
19:55924.
19:58924.
20:15924.
20:29Antoinette?
20:29Just 9.20.
20:30Justin?
20:319.20, not written, no.
20:33Right.
20:34So, Justin?
20:359.10s is 90.
20:379.10s is 90.
20:38Plus 2.
20:3992.
20:4092.
20:416 plus 3 plus 1 is 10.
20:436 plus 3 plus 1, yeah.
20:469.20, 4 away.
20:47Antoinette.
20:48Very thanks.
20:49Happy?
20:50All right, let's turn to the expert.
20:53Now then, 9.24.
20:54How tricky is that?
20:55This was there.
20:56If you say 10 times 2 is 20, minus 3 is 17, times by 9 is 153.
21:05Add the 1 for 1, 5, 4, and times that by 6 for 9.24.
21:08Perfect.
21:09Thank you, Rachel.
21:13Spot on, as always.
21:14Very good.
21:15So, 65 plays Justin's 53 as we turn to a Tea Time teaser, which is Tina Made.
21:23And the clue, Tina made a fuss when she discovered her stone was a fake.
21:27Tina made a fuss when she discovered her stone was fake.
21:48Welcome back.
21:48I left you with a clue.
21:49Tina made a fuss when she discovered her stone was fake.
21:53Because it was Diamante.
21:56Diamante.
21:57Very fake.
21:5865 plays Justin's 53.
22:00You're still well in touch there, Justin.
22:02And now, it's your letters game.
22:05Could I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
22:07Thank you, Justin.
22:08S.
22:08And another.
22:10And I'll have another.
22:12F.
22:13And a vowel.
22:15E.
22:16And another vowel.
22:17I.
22:17And another.
22:19O.
22:20And a consonant.
22:22S.
22:23And another, please.
22:25B.
22:25And a final vowel.
22:26And lastly, I.
22:29Countdown.
22:30And a vowel.
23:01Yes, Justin five five Antoinette just five so justice and jibes jibes and both jibing
23:11Any more jibes? Yeah, jibes
23:13Any more? No, I couldn't get any more than five all right 70 points place 58 Antoinette still in the
23:20lead
23:21You're back Antoinette letters a consonant please, Richard. Thank you, Antoinette V and another
23:28G another
23:30R another
23:33T a vowel
23:36A another
23:38E another
23:42I a consonant
23:45S and a final consonant, please and final B. Countdown
24:22Yes, Antoinette eight and eight
24:26Justin
24:26I'll just try seven is all I have
24:29And that seven?
24:30A bastier
24:31Now then Antoinette
24:32Virgates
24:34Virgates
24:35Antoinette knows her dictionary. Yes, fantastic. It's a historical term and a virgate was about 30 acres. It used to
24:41vary a little bit
24:42But it was a measurement of land
24:44Never heard of it
24:45Never heard of it. Alistair?
24:46There was another eight which was vibrates
24:48Yes, I've heard of that
24:49Yes, I've heard of that
24:50Yes, we've heard of that
24:50And I have to disallow yours, Justin, sorry, no bastier
24:54All right
24:55Well done
24:56So she sprinted ahead a bit
24:5778 to Justin's 58
25:0020 points in it
25:01But now we turn to Susie
25:03We turn to that time of day
25:04When we prepare to be astounded by her origins of words
25:09Susie
25:10Well, I'm not sure how astonishing this is
25:11But it's a nice story
25:13And I have to thank Jan Holdley
25:15I hope I'm pronouncing that right, Jan
25:17And she asked
25:17Why are spiders' webs called cobwebs?
25:20Which is a very good question
25:21And not one that you might think of every day
25:24Most of us, we all know what the web means
25:27And that actually goes back to a prehistoric Germanic word
25:30So very, very old
25:31And that also gave us weave
25:34And the old English word for one who weaves was a webster
25:38Which of course we still use today as a surname
25:41Lots and lots of medieval surnames to do with weaving
25:44You had fuller, dyer, weaver itself, etc
25:48So the web thing is fairly self-explanatory
25:50But the cob bit is a little bit more complex though
25:53Because today when we think of a cob
25:54We either think of the northern expression
25:56To get a cob on
25:57Meaning to be angry or irritated about something
26:00Or we think of the corn on the cob
26:02The corn on the cob actually goes back again
26:04To a very old English word
26:06That meant head or top
26:08Because it's at the top of the plant
26:09And that's quite appropriate
26:11That gives us a clue
26:12When we look at cobweb
26:14It used to be spelt copweb
26:16So with a double P-E
26:17And the cob simply meant a spider
26:20But it all goes back to the appearance of the spider
26:23Which looks like a very, very large head or body
26:25With legs coming out
26:28And arachnophores should cover their ears now
26:30The original word was atter cop
26:32Meaning poison cop
26:34Because, or poison head
26:36Because all spiders were thought to be incredibly venomous
26:39Back in medieval times
26:40They didn't think there were any harmless house spiders
26:42They were often seen as sinister evil
26:44Or incredibly poisonous
26:46Over the years cop was gradually slurred to cob
26:50And we have Tolkien to thank really
26:53Because in The Hobbit
26:53He brought back lob and cob
26:56As names for spiders
26:58So he really brought them back into the popular imagination
27:00And the cobweb, rather than the copweb, was born
27:04And just as a, by the way
27:07One of the antidotes for a bite of a venomous spider
27:09Back in medieval times
27:11Was treacle
27:12And that goes back to a name for Greek
27:15For a wild animal or a poisonous insect
27:17So treacle meant the antidote
27:20And over time
27:21Because you would take this horrible medicine
27:23Usually with something sweet
27:24Treacle came to mean the something sweet
27:26Rather than the antidote itself
27:28But anyway, yeah
27:29Long story of cobweb
27:31But I quite like it
27:33Amazing
27:38I don't know about you, Ernest, I'm sort of spinning after that
27:42Too much information
27:43Amazing
27:43Well done
27:4478 plays
27:4558
27:45Thank you, Susie
27:47And now we're with Justin
27:49Penultimate letters game
27:50Make the most of it, Justin
27:51I'll have a consonant, please
27:53Thank you, Justin
27:54P
27:54And another
27:57G
27:57And another
27:59M
28:00And a vowel, please
28:01O
28:03And another
28:04A
28:06And another, please
28:08O
28:09And a consonant
28:11T
28:13Another consonant
28:14D
28:16And a final vowel, please
28:19And the last one
28:20E
28:21Countdown
28:23G
28:24And a vowel, please
28:26And a vowel, please
28:39And the vowel, please
28:39And
28:52Can
28:53And a vowel, please
28:54Justin
28:55Try seven a seven Antoinette a risky seven
28:59So Justin mootage
29:02Yes, that's right potted
29:04Okay, pottage is only a noun and tonight I'm afraid you can't add the D and there is no mootage
29:09mootage
29:10You could have had but not mootage. I'm afraid Justin so no can do to eat that I'm still there
29:14Now then yes, we expect great things from the corner Alistair
29:17Well, there's an eight which is goat mode, which is if you've got a sheep and you want to get
29:23Instead of getting you milk you want to get goat's milk to get goat's cheese
29:26You can flick a switch and put it into goat mode and get goat cheese from actually you don't you
29:32don't know
29:33We have mooted and mooted six and six no more than that Susie
29:37That's it just fixes. I'm afraid I don't like goat mode be a valuable goat wouldn't them
29:4278 plays 58 here. We go last letters game for Antoinette
29:46Consonant please. Thank you Antoinette V and another
29:50Another S another
29:53Another L another
29:55R
29:57A vowel
29:58I
30:00And another
30:01E
30:02Another
30:03U
30:05And a consonant
30:08F
30:10And another consonant please
30:12And lastly
30:13H
30:14And it's
30:16Countdown
30:17P
30:48Antoinette.
30:49Just a six.
30:50A six, Justin.
30:51I'll try a seven again.
30:54Now then, Antoinette.
30:55Livers.
30:56And Justin.
30:57Re-flush.
30:58Re-flush.
30:59I did just check that one, Justin, because I was wondering about that myself, but it's not there, I'm afraid.
31:03Sorry.
31:04Oh, bad luck.
31:05Yeah.
31:06Lots of sixes. Flyers, fivers, shiver.
31:10There's a risky nine.
31:11Sir?
31:13Shiverful.
31:14Shiverful.
31:14If something makes you shiver.
31:15That sounds like an Anglo-Saxon poetic word. It's not there.
31:19Bad luck.
31:20I like it.
31:21Shiverful.
31:21I said it was risky.
31:22All right.
31:23There we are, 84 to 58, and it's the final numbers game today for Justin.
31:29Hi, Rachel.
31:29One large and any other five again, please.
31:31Thank you, Justin.
31:32One from the top, and five little ones to finish off the day.
31:36And this selection is six, four, one, two, eight, and the large one, 75.
31:43And the target, 437.
31:46Four, three, seven.
31:48One from the top, and five little ones.
32:17yes Justin 437 437 Antoinette 437 thank you Justin 675 675 is 450 minus the
32:28age and the four and one well done perfect 437 thank you same way just
32:33check it out very good so two good performances but probably a little bit
32:41late for Justin now 68 plays 94 as we go into the final round conundrum times
32:47so fingers on buzzers let's reveal today's countdown conundrum
32:57Antoinette wittering let's see whether you're right
33:08104 points well done cracking score Justin bad luck you held her back for a long
33:14long long time but in the end she crossed the line 104 she crossed the line
33:18actually into six victories so well done for you we should see you tomorrow
33:23well done Justin sadly we won't you're back to Galway now you're gonna have to
33:27cross the UK and cross Ireland too
33:29I'm sure it's great spot excellent thank you very much indeed for coming says here
33:35your favorite film is Braveheart a lot of your pals were extras yes that film then
33:39it was filling filmed in Wicklow in Ireland and we were in the FCS like the TA over in
33:46Ireland and they use all the lads as extras excellent so a lot of them in the
33:50film was all good for you it's good well look take your goodie bag back to Galway
33:53with our very best wishes thank you thank you see you tomorrow we shall see you
33:56tomorrow Susie and Alistair also well done you'll be sure of it thank you now
34:03then Rachel we've got a replacement in case you ever do want to retire one day
34:06yeah all right but Antoinette's storming away she's absolutely flying eggs and
34:12stuff very good performance again join us tomorrow same time same place see
34:16whether Antoinette will manage her seventh victory good afternoon contact us by
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34:46knowledge put to the test next this afternoon in 15 to 1