- 1 week ago
Are you waiting for success to happen naturally? In this episode, we dive into John C. Maxwell’s Law of Intentionality, revealing why potential only flourishes through deliberate planning. Most people fall into the trap of automatic growth, believing maturity comes with age. We break down the psychological barriers like the Gaps of Assumption, Timing, and Perfection that keep your music trapped inside you. Learn why deciding is not doing and how to overcome the fear of making mistakes. It is time to stop waiting for luck and start investing in your character. Your future self depends on the decisions today.
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00:00Most people die with their music still inside them because they waited for the right time to
00:04start growing. Welcome back to the show. I want you to take a second, right now,
00:10wherever you are, maybe you're driving, maybe you're at the gym. Maybe you're just sitting
00:15in the dark with your headphones on, and I want you to think about the word. Potential.
00:20It's a heavy word, isn't it? It's loaded. It's usually spoken about with a sense of optimism,
00:27like, oh, that kid has so much potential. But if you really sit with it, the word
00:33potential can actually be incredibly haunting, because potential, by definition, is unfulfilled.
00:41It is an used energy. It is a promise that hasn't been kept yet. There's a story I read recently
00:47about a woman named Florence Littor. She talks about her father. Her father was this man who
00:54had a song in his heart, literally. He wanted to be a singer. He had the talent, he had the
01:01dream,
01:02but life just happened. He got busy. He got scared. He waited for the right time.
01:09And Florence says that her father died with the music still inside him. He never let it out.
01:15That is the tragedy we are grappling with today.
01:19We are doing a deep dive into the philosophy of John C. Maxwell, specifically looking at the early
01:25chapters of his framework for growth. And the central thesis we're going to explore for the
01:30next hour is terrifyingly simple. Growth is not automatic. We have this misconception,
01:37this biological fallacy, that because our bodies grow automatically, our minds and our characters do
01:43too. When you were a kid, you didn't have to, try to get taller. You didn't have to, plan, to
01:50hit
01:51puberty. It just happened. Nature took the wheel. And so, subconsciously, we carry that logic into
01:59adulthood. We think, if I just show up to work, if I just get older, if I just survive another
02:05year,
02:06I will naturally become wiser, better, more capable. Maxwell grabs us by the shoulders and says,
02:12no, that is a lie. Aging is automatic. Growth is a choice. You can get old and not get better.
02:21You can have 10 years of experience, or you can have one year of experience repeated 10 times.
02:28The difference is intentionality. And that brings us to the first major pillar we need to discuss,
02:34the law of intentionality. Maxwell tells this story about a pivotal moment in his own life.
02:40He's 24 years old. He's young, he's hungry, he's working hard. He thinks he's crushing it.
02:48He sits down for lunch with a man named Kurt Kammire. And in the middle of this lunch,
02:54Kurt looks at him and asks a question that stops time. He asks,
02:59John, do you have a plan for your personal growth? Now, think about how you would answer that.
03:05Not do you have a plan for your job? Or do you have a plan for your vacation? Do you
03:11have a plan
03:11to become a better version of you? Maxwell tried to talk his way out of it. He started listing his
03:18activities. Well, I work hard. I get up early. I listen to people. And Kurt stopped him and said,
03:26growth is not an automatic process. If you don't have a plan, you are leaving your life to chance.
03:33That was the aha moment. Maxwell realized he had a plan for activity, but no plan for improvement.
03:41He was operating on hope. And hope, my friends, is a beautiful emotion, but it is a terrible strategy.
03:50If you focus on goals, you might hit them, but you won't necessarily change. But if you focus on
03:56growth, you will hit your goals and you will continue to evolve. But here's the kicker.
04:02When Maxwell decided to actually commit to a growth plan, he found a kit, a literal personal
04:08development course, that cost $799. Now, this is the 1970s. That was a month's salary. It was a
04:18fortune. And this is where the rubber meets the road. We say we want to grow, but are we willing
04:24to pay for it? Not just in money, but in time, in ego, in comfort? Maxwell and his wife had
04:31to
04:32scrimp and save for six months just to buy the materials to start growing. That is the law of
04:37intentionality. You have to steer the boat. You cannot just drift and hope you catch a wind.
04:44So, why don't we do it? If it's so obvious that we need to grow to reach our potential,
04:49why are most of us stagnant? Maxwell identifies these. Growth gap traps.
04:56These are the psychological lies we tell ourselves to justify our inertia.
05:01I want to walk through a few of these because I guarantee you, you are living in at least one
05:05of
05:05them right now. The first one is the assumption gap. This is what we just talked about, the idea that,
05:12I will grow automatically. It's the waiting game. We quote Bruce Springsteen here.
05:19A time comes when you need to stop waiting to be the man you want to be and start being
05:23the man you
05:24want to be. We assume that the next job, the next relationship, or the next birthday will trigger
05:30the upgrade. It won't. You have to trigger it. Then there's the timing gap. Oh, this is a killer.
05:38It's not the right time to start. Listen, there's a riddle Maxwell loves. Five frogs are sitting on a
05:45log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? The answer is five. Because deciding is not the
05:54same as doing. We love to decide. We love to make New Year's resolutions. But the law of diminishing
06:02intent kicks in. The longer you wait to do something you know you should do, the less likely you are
06:09to
06:09ever do it. If you don't start when the idea is hot, the idea cools down and dies. Let's talk
06:16about
06:17the mistake gap. I'm afraid of making mistakes. We are so conditioned by the school system to believe
06:23that mistakes are failures. But in the world of growth, a mistake is just data. Warren Bennis said.
06:31A mistake is simply another way of doing things. If you are not making mistakes, you are not trying
06:37anything new. If you're trying to grow without looking foolish, you're not going to grow. You have
06:44to be willing to look like an idiot to eventually look like a master. And closely related to that is
06:49the perfection gap. I have to find the best way before I start. It's the paralysis of analysis.
06:57Maxwell uses the analogy of driving at night. When you drive at night, your headlights only show you
07:04maybe a hundred feet in front of you. You can't see the destination. You can't see the whole route.
07:10But you can make the whole journey just by seeing that hundred feet. You drive into the light, and then
07:16you see the next hundred feet. You cannot find that best way until you are already in motion.
07:23You figure it out on the fly. One more gap I have to touch on is the inspiration gap.
07:29How many times have you said? I just don't feel like doing it today. We treat motivation like it's
07:36this lightning bolt from Zeus that needs to strike us before we can open a book or go to the
07:41gym.
07:42Maxwell flips this upside down. He cites medical research that says motivation is a byproduct of
07:48action. You don't act because you feel good. You feel good because you acted. Forget motivation.
07:55Just do the thing. The feeling will catch up with you later. And finally, the comparison gap.
08:02This is painful. You look around, and everyone seems better than you. You feel small.
08:10Maxwell tells a story about walking into a meeting early in his career where everyone was leading
08:14organizations six times the size of his. He felt intimidated. He wanted to hide. But then he
08:22realized, being the smallest fish in the room is actually the best place to be. If you're the
08:28smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. You can only grow if you surround yourself
08:34with people who are ahead of you. So, that's the law of intentionality. You have to choose to grow,
08:40and you have to fight through these gaps to start. But once you decide to start, what does that actually
08:47look like? This brings us to the logistics. Maxwell doesn't just leave us with philosophy.
08:53He gives us a schedule. And it's rigorous. He suggests the May 1st 50 rule.
09:00This is for the people who say, I don't have time. Here is the formula. You dedicate one hour a
09:07day,
09:08five days a week, for 50 weeks a year to your personal growth. That is 250 hours a year.
09:15Now, I can hear you saying, I don't have an extra hour. Maxwell's response is brutal but true,
09:21yes you do. You just have to pay the price. Maybe you wake up an hour earlier. Maybe you cut
09:29your
09:29lunch break. Maybe you stopped watching Netflix. He says you have to treat this hour like a sacred
09:35appointment. Because if you aren't willing to schedule your growth, you have to be willing to
09:40give up your dreams. You can have both. You can't keep the comfort of your current schedule and expect
09:47the rewards of a future potential. So, let's say you commit. You buy the books, you set the alarm
09:54clock, you're ready to grow. Now we hit the second major law, the law of awareness.
10:00The core premise here is, asterisk you must know yourself to grow yourself. Asterisk. It sounds
10:07obvious, right? But most of us are strangers to ourselves. We don't know our strengths, we don't
10:13know our weaknesses, and we don't really know where we want to go. And if you don't have a destination,
10:19you can have a direction. Maxwell tells a terrifying story about a man named Henry M.
10:25In 1957, Henry had a brain operation to cure epilepsy. The surgery worked, the seizures stopped,
10:33but there was a side effect. Henry lost the ability to form new memories. He remembered his past,
10:41but he couldn't remember anything that happened five minutes ago. He lived in a permanent present.
10:47He would read the same magazine every day and be surprised by the articles every single time.
10:53He would solve the same puzzle and feel the same sense of accomplishment, over and over again.
11:00Maxwell uses this as a metaphor for people who lack self-awareness.
11:04If you don't reflect, if you don't know who you are and what you're doing,
11:08you are like Henry M. You are living the same day over and over again.
11:13You aren't building momentum because you aren't retaining the lessons.
11:17You're just spinning. To avoid becoming Henry M.
11:21You have to figure out what type of person you are regarding direction.
11:26Maxwell breaks it down into three types.
11:30First, there are people who don't know what they want.
11:33These people are confused. They drift.
11:37Second, there are people who know what they want but don't do it.
11:40These people are frustrated.
11:43They are the ones who say,
11:45I'd love to write a book, but never write a page.
11:49And third, there are people who know what they want and actually do it.
11:53These people are integrated. They are whole.
11:57So how do you become that third type?
11:59You have to ask yourself the hard questions.
12:02You have to interrogate yourself.
12:05Maxwell offers a framework of ten questions,
12:08but let's focus on the big ones.
12:10Question number one.
12:12Do you like what you are doing?
12:14This seems simple,
12:15but how many people are staying in jobs they hate because they need the paycheck?
12:20Maxwell argues that there is a risk in leaving a secure job, yes.
12:24But there is a much greater risk in staying.
12:27The risk of staying is that you reach the end of your life
12:30and realize you wasted your only shot at existence
12:33doing something that made you miserable.
12:35You have to find your passion.
12:37Question two.
12:39What do you want to do?
12:40This is about listening to your heart, not just your head.
12:44Passion gives you energy.
12:46It gives you excellence.
12:48If you don't love it, you won't stick with it when it gets hard.
12:51And trust me, it will get hard.
12:54But then, and this is critical, we have to balance passion with reality.
13:00Question three.
13:01Can you do what you want to do?
13:03There is a difference between a dream and a delusion.
13:06Maxwell tells the story of a guy named Bobby.
13:10Bobby loved the Chicago Cubs.
13:13He wanted to be the team mascot.
13:15He had the passion.
13:17But he couldn't skate, he couldn't dance, and he wasn't funny.
13:21He had zero talent for the role.
13:24You have to know your own capabilities.
13:27You have to know what you are actually good at.
13:29This is where self-awareness bites.
13:32You might want to be a singer like Florence Littor's dad,
13:35but if you're tone-deaf, that's not your path.
13:39You need to find the intersection of what you love
13:41and what you are actually gifted at.
13:43And let's talk about strategy.
13:46Do you know what it takes?
13:48It's not enough to have a dream.
13:50You need a map.
13:52Maxwell breaks this down into stages.
13:54Awareness, action, accountability, attraction.
13:58I love the accountability part.
14:01He suggests being your own.
14:03Big brother.
14:04Write down every single thing you do.
14:06Track your time.
14:08When you have to write down.
14:10Spent 45 minutes scrolling Instagram.
14:13It forces you to confront your own wastefulness.
14:16And then, find mentors.
14:19Don't try to reinvent the wheel.
14:21Find someone who is doing what you want to do,
14:24and do what they did.
14:26Maxwell says.
14:27Pay for their time.
14:29If you have to buy them lunch, buy them lunch.
14:32If you have to buy their book, buy their book.
14:35Stand on the shoulders of giants.
14:38Now, we have intentionality, the choice to grow.
14:41We have awareness, the map of where to grow.
14:44But there is one final piece to this puzzle,
14:47and it is perhaps the most important one.
14:50It is the lid, that caps everything else.
14:53It is chapter 3, the mirror principle.
14:56The thesis here is simple.
14:58Asterisk you must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.
15:03Asterisk.
15:04Think about that.
15:06If you think you are worthless,
15:07why would you invest time in yourself?
15:10You wouldn't spend money fixing up a car that you're planning to take to the junkyard.
15:15If you view yourself as a...
15:17junker,
15:17you aren't going to put in the premium gas of personal growth.
15:21You cannot outperform your own self-image.
15:25Maxwell shares a story here that honestly,
15:27it brought me to a standstill.
15:29It's the story of Johnetta McSwain.
15:32Johnetta's story is the definition of tragedy.
15:35For 30 years, she saw zero value in herself.
15:39And why would she?
15:40Her mother didn't want her.
15:43She suffered years of horrific physical and sexual abuse from her own family members.
15:48She dropped out of school in the 11th grade.
15:51She was a teenage mother.
15:53She was living on government assistance, shoplifting to survive.
15:58Her own sister told her,
16:00Everyone in our family has been to jail.
16:03What do we have to live for?
16:04Nothing.
16:06That was her mirror.
16:07When she looked in the mirror, she saw nothing.
16:10But on her 30th birthday, something shifted.
16:14She looked in that mirror and realized she had absolutely nothing to celebrate.
16:19And she looked at her two sons, and she realized that if she didn't change,
16:25they were going to fall into the same cycle of violence and prison that consumed the men in her family.
16:31So, she decided to grow.
16:33But notice how hard this is when your self-esteem is at zero.
16:37She went to get her GED.
16:39She failed by zero.
16:41Five points.
16:43Half a point.
16:45Imagine how crushing that is.
16:47But she went back.
16:49She passed.
16:50She decided to move to Atlanta.
16:53Her family told her she would fail.
16:55They tried to drag her back into the bucket.
16:58She went anyway.
17:00She enrolled in university at age 33.
17:03Now, imagine the fear.
17:06She's a high school dropout sitting in a college classroom.
17:10She felt stupid.
17:11She felt like an imposter.
17:14So, what did she do?
17:16She used the law of modeling.
17:18She found the smartest students in the class and asked to study with them.
17:22But here is the most beautiful part of the story.
17:26To fix her internal mirror, she had to visualize a new reality.
17:30She would go to the campus bookstore years before she was set to graduate, and she would try on the
17:36graduation gowns.
17:38She would stand in front of the mirror in that gown and look at herself and say,
17:42I can do this.
17:44She had to see the value in herself before the world saw it.
17:48And she did it.
17:49She got her bachelor's in three years.
17:52She got a master's in social work.
17:55She's pursuing a PhD.
17:57She went from shoplifting to a doctorate.
18:00Why?
18:01Because she changed the mirror.
18:03She moved from self-loathing to saying,
18:06I love myself.
18:07And once she believed she was worth saving, she could finally do the work to save herself.
18:13This is why the mirror principle is the foundation.
18:16You can have the best plan, intentionality.
18:19You can know exactly what you want, awareness.
18:23But if you don't believe you deserve to get there, you will self-sabotage.
18:27You will hit a ceiling.
18:30So, as we wrap this up, I want to bring it back to you.
18:33We started with the idea of the music dying inside you.
18:37We talked about the trap of thinking growth is automatic.
18:41It's not.
18:42You have to plan it.
18:44You have to fight through the fear of mistakes, the fear of bad timing, the fear of comparison.
18:50You have to carve out that hour, that May 1st 50 schedule, no matter how much it hurts.
18:56You have to look at yourself honestly.
18:59You have to ask,
19:01Do I like my life?
19:03Do I know my purpose?
19:05You have to stop being Henry M.
19:08Living in the permanent present, and start building a future.
19:11But most importantly, you have to look in the mirror.
19:15If you don't like what you see, that is the first step of your growth plan.
19:19You have to find a way to value yourself.
19:23Because you are the only asset you have.
19:25If you don't invest in you, nobody else will.
19:29John Maxwell said it best.
19:31You cannot change your life until you change something you do daily.
19:35The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.
19:39So, my question to you, echoing the words of Kurt Kampmeier from all those years ago,
19:44do you have a plan for your personal growth?
19:47If the answer is no, don't panic.
19:50But don't wait.
19:51The frogs are on the log.
19:53The decision isn't enough.
19:55You have to jump.
19:57Start today.
19:59Find your hour.
20:01Fix your mirror.
20:02And don't let the music die inside you.
20:05Thanks for listening.
20:06Go make it happen.
20:07Go make it happen.
20:08Go make it happen.
20:08Go make it happen.
20:08Go make it happen.
20:09Go make it happen.
20:10Go make it happen.
20:11Go make it happen.
20:11Go make it happen.