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FunTranscript
00:00:00Yes, I am.
00:00:01Pretty bad, eh? Every night?
00:00:03Pretty much so, yeah.
00:00:05So we've got these dreams every night
00:00:07from an incident that happened, say, two, three, four months ago?
00:00:11It wasn't a dream. It was real.
00:00:14It was real. I think it is.
00:00:16A real clown. I think it's alive.
00:00:19Yes. Well, um, okay.
00:00:22Alan, concentrate.
00:00:24Think rational here for a moment.
00:00:27First one, toys are not human.
00:00:30They cannot come to life.
00:00:31They can't kill people. They're toys, Alan.
00:00:33This isn't a toy, Doc. It's real.
00:00:37Two, we know you have a problem, okay?
00:00:41Look, this is getting out of hand.
00:00:44I mean, what's the clown's name again?
00:00:47What's his name again, Alan?
00:00:48Bobo.
00:00:50Bobo.
00:00:51That makes it even stupider.
00:00:54You're full of it.
00:00:55You deserve what you get.
00:01:00You're going to pay for what you say.
00:01:02No, no.
00:01:28You're going to pay for what you say.
00:01:31This movie's lame.
00:01:33This movie sucks.
00:01:58I want my money back.
00:02:14It's so fake.
00:02:16This movie sucks.
00:02:41That was it.
00:02:42That was the death of cinema.
00:02:44I know.
00:02:45I'm surprised the projector didn't just reject it.
00:02:47That guy makes Ed Wood look like Orson Welles.
00:02:52So what's his name again?
00:02:53Whitman.
00:02:54Abel Whitman.
00:02:55Jesus, I hope he has a day job.
00:03:04God bless you.
00:03:27God bless you.
00:04:00Now I understand, Abel, why you cast your films in this place.
00:04:05Whitman is a cinematic antichrist.
00:04:08To call it incompetent will be too kind.
00:04:14Philistine.
00:04:16She's a Philistine.
00:04:17Abel, my boy.
00:04:18Don't let the reviews get you down.
00:04:21About the shoot tomorrow morning.
00:04:24How many setup are you planning?
00:04:27Because, you know, one of the 10K is dead again.
00:04:30And, well, lighting may be an issue.
00:04:31It's not just the critics.
00:04:33It's not just the critics.
00:04:34Investors.
00:04:35Wallets.
00:04:36Teeth.
00:04:38And the producers.
00:04:39and the actors and the audiences sitting in the dark sniping anonymously they should die before
00:04:53they get a chance to see the end of the film they should die and the disloyal crews always
00:05:01sniffing around for something better always using your connections always always interrupting
00:05:11Abel that is beyond the pale I finished cleaning your camera here it is I will see you on set
00:05:25always in a rough room when I'm searching for inspiration
00:05:37I need inspiration
00:05:41I need inspiration
00:06:21I can give you all the inspiration you need able
00:07:02Gigi you're my inspiration my muse in human form
00:07:22Gigi I need you in my next movie
00:07:28the camera's been waiting for you
00:07:41Gigi!
00:07:42Gigi!
00:07:44Gigi!
00:07:45Gigi!
00:07:46Gigi!
00:07:47Gigi!
00:07:49Gigi!
00:07:52Gigi!
00:07:53Pervٍ.
00:07:54Pervant Pervant PRV Madison
00:07:57You, sir, are a pervert of unnatural appetites
00:08:01Aye, sir. I'm a true artist.
00:08:06Abel, let's get out of here.
00:08:19What are you doing?
00:08:21It's your money, Abel. It's not about the money between us.
00:08:25It's not about money. I'm not here for the money.
00:08:28It's about us.
00:08:48I'm not here.
00:08:50Gigi?
00:08:53Gigi?
00:08:54Gigi?
00:08:55Gigi?
00:08:55Gigi?
00:08:58Gigi?
00:08:59No!
00:08:59No!
00:08:59No!
00:09:03No!
00:09:23No!
00:09:28No!
00:09:30No!
00:09:30No!
00:09:31No, no, no!
00:09:32No!
00:09:33No!
00:09:33Oh, God! Why me? Why me?
00:10:08Oh, God!
00:10:17And... cut!
00:10:34And... cut!
00:11:03Man, this movie sucks.
00:11:05It's so fake!
00:11:07Oh, my God. They're right.
00:11:11It's so fake.
00:11:13It's terrible.
00:11:17Clear the set!
00:11:49Man, this movie sucks.
00:11:52It's so fake!
00:12:20Okay, Gigi. Give me all the inspiration you've got.
00:12:39Action.
00:13:00Oh, this is brilliant, Abel.
00:13:04It's so real.
00:13:07Very disturbing.
00:13:09Hope's right, Abel.
00:13:10If you keep this up, we can stop making tax write-offs.
00:13:13And start making money.
00:13:17Ozzy, what did you just say?
00:13:19I said if... if we can keep this up, we can...
00:13:22You're right. You're right. You're absolutely right.
00:13:24I can't stop now.
00:13:25Abel, you do have everything ready for the...
00:13:28for the funding board meeting next week.
00:13:32We really... we really need their gap financing.
00:13:37Absolutely. It's my top priority.
00:13:40Now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have some rewrites to do.
00:13:44Abel, that reminds me...
00:13:45Nice, nice. Anytime.
00:13:47Just... something I wanted to talk to you about, but I'll... I'll catch up to you.
00:14:08You're right.
00:14:10You're right.
00:14:11I don't know.
00:14:13You're right.
00:14:19I'll catch up with you.
00:14:19I'm not happy.
00:14:19I'll have a try.
00:14:20You're right.
00:14:24I don't know.
00:14:50I don't know.
00:15:29Cue the blood.
00:15:52Abel, dear boy, you gave us quite a fright.
00:15:55Do you need anything, Abel?
00:15:57How was I, Abel?
00:16:00That's a wrap.
00:16:02For today.
00:16:08What do I do, Gigi?
00:16:10I pled for my heart.
00:16:12It wasn't enough.
00:16:13Please, Gigi.
00:16:17Tell me what to do.
00:16:18You're my muse.
00:16:20Give me a sign.
00:16:27Thank you, my love.
00:16:31Banal.
00:16:33Commonplace.
00:16:34Conventional.
00:16:35Expected.
00:16:37Stale.
00:16:39Stark.
00:16:40Trite.
00:16:41Unimaginative.
00:16:42Cliché.
00:16:45Hmm.
00:16:46Cliché.
00:16:48Le mot juste.
00:16:49Abel Whitman's sense of drama is as cliché as...
00:16:54as...
00:16:55as a critic
00:16:56who lets a thesaurus do her job for her.
00:17:05Whitman?
00:17:07Grigorski.
00:17:10You're proving my point, Whitman.
00:17:12Coming to my office to confront me?
00:17:14What are you?
00:17:15The good?
00:17:16The bad?
00:17:17No, the ugly.
00:17:19I imagine you thought yourself, what?
00:17:21Daring?
00:17:22Imaginative?
00:17:23Unprecedented?
00:17:24Well, let me assure you, my good hack.
00:17:27It is just that.
00:17:29Cliché.
00:17:31Anyway, what do you want?
00:17:32An interview?
00:17:34Not an interview.
00:17:38However...
00:17:38I would like to make a statement.
00:17:41Really?
00:17:42Shoot.
00:17:43I'm gonna kill you.
00:17:46And then...
00:17:48I'm gonna cut up your body
00:17:50into little pieces.
00:17:54And use them in my movie.
00:17:57And not necessarily in that order.
00:18:02Well, Mr. Whitman...
00:18:05You might have finally come up with an original idea.
00:18:08good idea.
00:18:11Dad, I don't want to need a picture.
00:18:40Hand.
00:18:42No, no.
00:18:45Hold on.
00:18:46Head.
00:18:48Got that.
00:18:51Internal organs.
00:18:56I'll just get them all.
00:19:09Ooh.
00:19:12Ooh.
00:19:15Boy.
00:19:19Is that okay?
00:19:24Ooh.
00:19:39No.
00:19:41R.L.
00:19:42Able.
00:19:43You're fired.
00:19:59Fingerprints on a blind eye.
00:20:02What a great film title.
00:20:06A film title for the ages.
00:20:09Genius.
00:20:11Genius.
00:20:13Whitman, you're a genius.
00:20:47A region-wide bulletin has been issued for Georgina Carson, also known as GG Spot, who was reported
00:20:54missing after leaving work at a local gentleman's club this past Thursday.
00:20:58Police are treating the disappearance as suspicious, but so far have no leads.
00:21:08See you in no time, sis.
00:21:22About that idea I had, boss.
00:21:25What, that private dick to find your sister, right?
00:21:29Right.
00:21:30Tell you the truth, Carson.
00:21:34I like it.
00:21:35You do?
00:21:36Hell yeah.
00:21:37You're young.
00:21:38You're perky.
00:21:39You should be in front of the camera more.
00:21:41Plus, it's a great human interest story.
00:21:44It shows the station has a heart.
00:21:47Now, this guy you want, uh, uh, uh...
00:21:50Isaac.
00:21:51Beaumont, right?
00:21:52Yeah, right.
00:21:53I hear he's a real character, a story in itself.
00:21:57He is.
00:22:01He put the Savannah Strangler behind bars.
00:22:05Just for the hell of it, Jensen behind bars.
00:22:10Francis Urban Knuckles behind bars.
00:22:14He got out, right?
00:22:15On the technicality.
00:22:17But Beaumont caught him red-handed and made it stick.
00:22:24And a dozen more, at least.
00:22:26All big cases, all closed.
00:22:29So he's got a big reputation, huh?
00:22:32And an ego to match, from what I hear.
00:22:35Follow this thing wherever it takes you, Carson.
00:22:38I don't know what yet, but I got a feeling something big is going down.
00:22:59I'm sorry, Ms. Carson, uh, Mr. Beaumont is neither here, nor is he available to take on, uh, any cases
00:23:04at the moment.
00:23:06Well, when will he be?
00:23:08Hey, how did you know my name?
00:23:13Mr. Beaumont gets this, and your station gets exclusive rights to the mystifying story of how the remarkable Isaac Beaumont
00:23:21cracks another case.
00:23:23Took the words right out of my mouth.
00:23:27In that case.
00:23:30.
00:23:30.
00:23:31.
00:23:32.
00:23:32.
00:23:53I
00:23:54Is
00:23:54Your lucrative service
00:23:59What?
00:24:00What?
00:24:01Now, my dear, tell me about the case.
00:24:07It's my sister.
00:24:09She's missing.
00:24:11The police couldn't catch any lead.
00:24:13The police couldn't catch their breath in an oxygen tent.
00:24:17So, only your sister missed her, hmm?
00:24:22Come, my dear.
00:24:25Come, my dear.
00:24:27Let's get started.
00:24:32Prominent local film critic Gretchen Grigorski was found brutally murdered in her office this morning.
00:24:39Unconfirmed reports state that pieces of the Polk Award winner's body were missing and are still unaccounted for.
00:24:46Truly disturbing.
00:24:48They want to silence us, you know.
00:24:50Hmm.
00:24:52Because we artists speak the truth.
00:24:54So they make us fight amongst ourselves for scraps from their capitalist table.
00:24:59Yeah, they only really care about their money.
00:25:01It's, uh, they have no appreciation for the true art form.
00:25:05What's your film about?
00:25:07I'm shooting on video, actually.
00:25:09Video?
00:25:09It's experimental.
00:25:12It's about how television is one of today's biggest thieves of time.
00:25:16A powerful and suggestive instrument that inescapably invades almost every household.
00:25:21My film is a subjugation of collected images from this passive media.
00:25:25Subjugation?
00:25:27So, what's your film about?
00:25:29Oh, it's a, um, blood splattered study in the macabre.
00:25:33My greatest work ever.
00:25:35And I'm not about to let you jeopardize it.
00:25:40Now, let's start eliminating suspects.
00:25:44What in the name of God Almighty do you think you're doing?
00:25:47Get out!
00:25:49Darling, get up.
00:25:50Our sanctity's been interrupted.
00:25:52Get out of my limousine!
00:25:54Now!
00:25:57Believe me when I say we don't want to spend any more time in your company than is necessary.
00:26:01Reverend Boone.
00:26:03Just answer a couple of questions to our satisfaction, and we'll be on our merry way.
00:26:07For the record, Mr. Boone.
00:26:08That's Reverend Boone.
00:26:10Duly ordained by the...
00:26:12Wait a minute.
00:26:14The record?
00:26:16You're that reporter from Channel...
00:26:18From Channel.
00:26:19Reverend Ezekiel Boone gets a blowjob and limo from Stripper, paid for by Church Types.
00:26:24Details at 11.
00:26:25If you don't make with the answers.
00:26:27Uh, wait a minute, honey child.
00:26:29I wasn't.
00:26:29Concentrate, Reverend.
00:26:32Concentrate?
00:26:32Where were you on the evening of Tuesday last?
00:26:34From 11 p.m. on.
00:26:37I was right here, right here on this street, bringing the word to those that need it the
00:26:41most.
00:26:42You can ask any member of my flock.
00:26:44You can ask any patron of that den of iniquity.
00:26:48I'll make it a point to stare them all in the face as they exit the establishment.
00:26:54From the sublime to the ridiculous.
00:26:56We'll check your story.
00:26:58Thank you for your time, Reverend.
00:27:14I'm relatively new at this.
00:27:20I guess I'm supposed to say that, uh, scream as loud as you want.
00:27:23Nobody's gonna hear you anyway.
00:27:25The walls are thick.
00:27:28It's got its own ventilation system.
00:27:31And besides, the only person that comes in here anymore is the little old me.
00:27:38Everybody's shooting on video these days.
00:27:41You know, that little tape.
00:27:43No strength, no form, no substance.
00:27:46It means it's barely real.
00:27:57I will not be held captive by the hands of patriarchy!
00:28:03I will not be held captive by this!
00:28:16Can it be?
00:28:24I can't believe it.
00:28:26One trillion leaning towers.
00:28:29Gordon Weisbord, 1943.
00:28:323. He died at the premiere. They say there was a riot and he was killed. Apparently the
00:28:43film drove the audience mad. And here it is. I thought all the prints were destroyed and
00:28:51yet, here it is. Something brought us together. Thank you, Mitzi.
00:29:06Misogynist.
00:29:22Ah, Abel. Just the resident genius I was looking for. Walk with me.
00:29:35Abel, what do you think about karate?
00:29:38Well...
00:29:39Right. It's exotic. It's exciting. It's the next big thing.
00:29:46Abel, do you know the numbers on karate classes across North America?
00:29:49No.
00:29:50Of course you don't. That's my job. But listen, all this chop sake stuff,
00:29:55all this breaking cinder blocks with your head stuff, it's huge with the kids.
00:30:00And we need to think about the audience of tomorrow. Abel, I've been doing some thinking
00:30:06about casting for Terror Toy 2.
00:30:08But we're already in production, Ozzy.
00:30:10Sure. Sure. It's a creative challenge. I get you. But this kid...
00:30:14A child?
00:30:15Really, he's more of a nine-year-old karate champion. He's been winning competitions all over the place.
00:30:22His parents are good friends of mine. But take my word on this. This kid is going to be huge.
00:30:29And I think Terror Toy 2 is the perfect launch pad for his career.
00:30:33Ozzy, there's no room for a child in this film. I won't do it.
00:30:40Abel, don't make yourself replaceable. I think we understand one another, don't you?
00:30:47Or do you want me to write it down on a pink slip?
00:30:52You can't do that. It's my film. This is my film.
00:30:56Abel, you should spend less time reading Cache to Cinemart and more time reading your contracts.
00:31:06You see, I'm not your friend. I'm not your partner. I'm your boss.
00:31:15Why are you doing this to me, Ozzy? Because I can.
00:31:22You gotta throw your weight around every once in a while, Abel. Or people forget you got it.
00:31:28When I walk into a room, people should duck.
00:31:36So, does the kid stay in the picture?
00:31:39I'm gonna have to speak to the writer.
00:31:42That's the spirit, Abel.
00:31:45Forget about awards.
00:31:47Just give me something that'll put black back in the books.
00:31:51Out of my way.
00:31:56Abel, we need to talk.
00:31:58R.L., come in.
00:32:00You can't just fire me and my crew.
00:32:02R.L., R.L., calm down.
00:32:03We have a contract.
00:32:04Calm down. Take a seat.
00:32:06Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
00:32:09And we'll talk.
00:32:13Abel, what's with the knife?
00:32:16Abel.
00:32:17Abel?
00:32:19Abel?
00:32:24Now, on the subject of Mr. Groberg, is Groberg his first or last name?
00:32:29Like I know.
00:32:31No matter.
00:32:32It would seem that Groberg, as it will suffice to call him, has suffered from some sort of battlefield trauma.
00:32:38In the war.
00:32:40What war?
00:32:42Shit, man.
00:32:43The war.
00:32:45His noted habit of setting plastic army men on fire is some sort of traumatic recreation.
00:32:52He what now?
00:32:54I heard he burned his own men after they died.
00:32:57Doused them with the gasoline they used to burn out the latrine barrels, then lit them up, so they wouldn't
00:33:02be cold.
00:33:04I heard he spent a night buried under corpses at a foxhole.
00:33:08Just him and a mountain of cold flesh.
00:33:12After that, that's where he had this thing about fire.
00:33:17He's coming back from the shitter you can see for yourself.
00:33:21Just do me a favor.
00:33:23Lead me out of it.
00:33:26Hey Smitty, watch the bar.
00:33:29I gotta take a shit.
00:34:07The mofkin in?
00:34:14That проход!
00:34:15Don't forget Zeke.
00:34:15The mofkin in?
00:34:16The mofkin in?
00:34:21No more..
00:34:22I-oh, man.
00:34:23or a monkey.
00:34:24I don't see what the right is,
00:34:26soldier, or a member of the Lowe.
00:34:27Ha, ha.
00:34:28Ha, ha.
00:34:29No need to block.
00:34:30Give me a Lowe a little more.
00:34:32Give me a Lowe.
00:34:33Give me a Lowe.
00:34:34Give me a Lowe.
00:34:42We can safely eliminate.
00:34:45Grover's a suspect.
00:34:49So who does that leave?
00:34:50From our original list, no one.
00:34:55But we have a new contender,
00:34:57a director of all things,
00:34:59the unlikely name of Abel Whitman.
00:35:02Let's go find him.
00:35:05I will find him, Miss Carson.
00:35:08For the time being,
00:35:09I think he may be more valuable
00:35:10behind the scenes.
00:35:34I've had some ideas lately, Alan.
00:35:40I can see that, Abel.
00:35:43pretty massive changes here.
00:35:45I think you might have missed the subtext a little bit.
00:35:50Just went ahead and crossed everything out.
00:35:53You know, a lot of stuff becomes important later on.
00:35:55It's called inspiration, Alan.
00:36:00Inspiration.
00:36:01Well, I guess I can make it work.
00:36:04I'm sure you can.
00:36:06It's gonna be a bitch for a makeup department.
00:36:09I'll handle that.
00:36:11Okay.
00:36:12Well, I guess I got a lot of writing to do.
00:36:15Oh, and Alan?
00:36:18Yes, Abel?
00:36:19We share credit.
00:36:21Sure, Abel, sure.
00:36:27Oh, you're doing some casting, Mr. Whitman.
00:36:31What happened to your star?
00:36:33Do I know you?
00:36:36I'm a fan of your work.
00:36:38Really?
00:36:39No.
00:36:41Nobody's a fan of your work.
00:36:43Actually, I suspect you've kidnapped him.
00:36:45Possibly murder.
00:36:46What?
00:36:47You were the last person to see the victim.
00:36:50What victim?
00:36:51Georgina Carson.
00:36:52You probably know her better by her stage name and Gigi Spot.
00:36:56Gigi?
00:36:57Gigi was with...
00:36:58Was, Mr. Whitman?
00:37:02You said was.
00:37:03Past tense.
00:37:04Is there any reason why you wouldn't talk about her in the present tense?
00:37:07You didn't let me finish.
00:37:09The last time I saw Gigi was...
00:37:13Toothy night.
00:37:14Finally, we agree on something.
00:37:17Now, exactly how long after you left the gentleman's club did you kill her?
00:37:24All I did was give her a ride.
00:37:27I'll assume that's a euphemism.
00:37:30I'm not a killer.
00:37:31I'm an artist.
00:37:32Who makes violent art?
00:37:35Although reading your reviews, the jury's still out on the art part.
00:37:38Come now, Mr. Whoever you are.
00:37:41Isaac Beaumont.
00:37:43At someone else's service.
00:37:45Well, Mr. Beaumont, surely you're not Philistine enough to think that violent art causes natural violence.
00:37:54You didn't answer my question.
00:37:56Do you want me to do your work for you, Mr. Beaumont?
00:37:58If you wanted to confess now, I certainly wouldn't complain.
00:38:02No?
00:38:04All right, then.
00:38:06I'll be back.
00:38:08And what if I'm not here?
00:38:12You'll be here.
00:38:14Really?
00:38:15Why?
00:38:18You have a film to finish.
00:38:23He's right.
00:38:24He's right.
00:38:25I have a film to finish.
00:38:36Alan.
00:38:37I need a plot device.
00:38:40Uh, okay.
00:38:41What kind?
00:38:42A killer.
00:38:43A killer is suspected of murder by, by a detective.
00:38:47Um, he can't really flee because there wouldn't be a movie, would there?
00:38:52So, how does he, uh, take suspicion off himself?
00:38:58How would Lubitsch do it?
00:39:00Well, I've been reading about this, uh, heat-activated poison.
00:39:04You drip it on a light bulb, when the victim turns on a lamp, turns into gas.
00:39:10The department gets flooded, and, uh, lethal in minutes.
00:39:13Is that for real?
00:39:15Yeah, but it doesn't plug your plot hole, does it?
00:39:19Okay, how about this?
00:39:20Nice and simple.
00:39:21Uh, the killer kills someone else, assuming that he had it in him.
00:39:25It is a him, right?
00:39:27Well, then he can kill someone else, make it look like a suicide, pin his crimes on the dead man,
00:39:32and, uh...
00:39:33I'll make the suicide note, what about, uh, make it a confession, what do you think?
00:39:37I like it, I like it.
00:39:39Is this something new I should work into the script, Abel, or...?
00:39:42You let me worry about that.
00:39:49So, he made you suspicious.
00:39:52What else have you got?
00:39:53Well, a plan.
00:39:55A plan?
00:39:57More of a trap, really.
00:39:58Faded with?
00:40:01Uh...
00:40:03He's casting for his new film.
00:40:06He needs a new face.
00:40:15Eighteen auditions in a row, Gigi.
00:40:18And the only thing that qualifies any of them to be on film is the fact that they reflect light.
00:40:25What am I gonna do?
00:40:39Am I in the right place?
00:40:41I hope so, because if not, you're just some crazy man who sits around talking to corpses.
00:40:47Yes, yes, yes, corpses.
00:40:48It's a fake, it's a fake.
00:40:51You're here to audition, tell me you're here to audition.
00:40:53Yeah, totally.
00:40:54Wait, you are...?
00:40:56April Carson, WKY TV.
00:40:58And you do...?
00:40:59Human interest, because we're all human, right?
00:41:02And the weekend weather, the only weather anyone cares about.
00:41:05But, to tell you the truth, I'm not entirely fulfilled working in television.
00:41:10I'm looking for something a bit more...
00:41:14inspiring.
00:41:17Could you do a reading?
00:41:18Totally.
00:41:19Excellent, excellent, and you brought the sides.
00:41:22Yeah, but like, doing Hamlet?
00:41:25What?
00:41:26I mean, isn't that a bit pretentious? This is for a part in a horror movie, right?
00:41:29My dear, Hamlet is the greatest work in the history of English literature.
00:41:33Murder.
00:41:34Incest.
00:41:35Fear.
00:41:37Insanity.
00:41:38Suicide.
00:41:39Murder after murder until the stage is littered with bodies.
00:41:43Do you know what the greatest work in the history of English literature is?
00:41:46It's a fucking horror film!
00:41:51Okay, then.
00:41:56Alas.
00:41:57Poor Yort.
00:41:59Wait.
00:42:09Here, use this.
00:42:22What's that smell?
00:42:24Oh, it's the latex. It's decaying.
00:42:26And there are things in the fake blood that are fake.
00:42:29It, uh, just smells like that.
00:42:31Please, continue.
00:42:32Are you sure?
00:42:34It feels pretty real.
00:42:35No, it's just a prop.
00:42:37It's only a prop.
00:42:43And...
00:42:47Action!
00:42:49Alas, poor Yorick.
00:42:51I knew him, Horatio.
00:42:53A fellow of infinite jest.
00:42:56A most excellent fancy.
00:42:58He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.
00:43:04Now how abhorred in my imagination it is.
00:43:07My gorge rises at it.
00:43:10Here hung those lips I kissed.
00:43:13I know not how oft.
00:43:23Cut!
00:43:27The camera's been waiting for you.
00:43:34What happened then?
00:43:36He had to leave suddenly.
00:43:38He said he remembered an important meeting with an investor.
00:43:42But you have the part.
00:43:44I have a late call to shoot my first scene tomorrow.
00:43:47Perfect.
00:43:49I'll look into this investor.
00:43:53You're not eating?
00:43:56I'm just really...
00:43:58really not hungry.
00:44:07Isn't this great, babe?
00:44:08I just invested a ton in this.
00:44:10Soon we'll have a whole fleet of these things.
00:44:13Ozzy Kohlberg's pole liners.
00:44:15Driving tourists around to see the sights.
00:44:17So they can see Ozzy's city.
00:44:19Ozzy's way.
00:44:21Yeah.
00:44:22They're really classy.
00:44:23Like in Europe.
00:44:26And our tour guides will have these sexy beef eater uniforms on.
00:44:29And they'll narrate the trip as they serve these little individual sized steak and kidney pies with little cups of
00:44:35tea.
00:44:36Yeah.
00:44:37They'll be a big money maker.
00:44:39I thought you were a film producer, Ozzy.
00:44:43I'm an investor, babe.
00:44:45Doesn't matter if it's movies, vending machines, or the future of the tourist ministry.
00:44:49If Ozzy Kohlberg's involved, it'll pay.
00:45:03Where the hell are we?
00:45:05Stay here.
00:45:07Time to throw some weight around.
00:45:13Driver.
00:45:15Driver.
00:45:17Whitman.
00:45:21Where did you get a harpoon?
00:45:23Harpoon star?
00:45:26But I put it on the corporate account.
00:45:28So technically, I didn't buy it.
00:45:31You did.
00:45:33And Ozzy.
00:45:35What?
00:45:36You better duck.
00:45:41On she goes!
00:45:48No.
00:45:57Oh.
00:45:57Shit.
00:45:58Shit.
00:45:59Shit.
00:45:59Shit.
00:46:00I need it that hard.
00:46:02I need it that hard.
00:46:04What was I thinking?
00:46:05What was i thinking?
00:46:14Whose was i thinking?
00:46:15Oh!
00:46:47What if they don't buy the suicide?
00:47:05Alan?
00:47:06Yeah?
00:47:07It's Abel.
00:47:09Yeah.
00:47:10I need to pick your brains for a minute.
00:47:14The killer commits another murder to deflect suspicion.
00:47:19But what happens if the way he commits the murder,
00:47:25the audience doesn't buy it as a suicide?
00:47:28What do we do about that?
00:47:30Well, if it was a satirical sort of thing,
00:47:33the killer could just scrawl some addendum on the original suicide note,
00:47:37count on a cowardly self-obsessed society to just accept it,
00:47:40and everyone goes home early.
00:47:43Okay.
00:47:44Mind you,
00:47:46it'll probably lead to more murder,
00:47:48trying to cover up the cover-up and so on.
00:47:50It'll probably be the killer's undoing.
00:47:54Abel?
00:47:55Abel, are you there?
00:47:56Hello?
00:47:58Hello?
00:48:11Cut!
00:48:12Print that one.
00:48:14April, you were magnificent.
00:48:16You bring new life to a scene.
00:48:18Abel,
00:48:19Mr. Farmsworth needs to see you in his office.
00:48:21He says it's urgent.
00:48:25Take five, everyone.
00:48:33Abel, come on in.
00:48:35I need to talk to you.
00:48:45Ozzy's missing.
00:48:46Missing?
00:48:48Yeah, he didn't show up.
00:48:51He's not answering any of his numbers.
00:48:55Nobody's seen him since yesterday.
00:48:57Phillip, I, I, I, I wasn't sure I should say anything,
00:49:01but Ozzy has been acting strangely lately.
00:49:03He, uh, he called me on several occasions
00:49:07and asked me for a private meeting.
00:49:10What did he want?
00:49:11I'm not sure.
00:49:12I, I think it was,
00:49:13I think he wanted,
00:49:14wanted to confess something to me.
00:49:16What do you think it was?
00:49:17Ozzy, I'm sure I don't know.
00:49:19I, uh, I have no idea.
00:49:22I don't know what to tell you
00:49:23other than, uh, without Ozzy, uh,
00:49:26we, we can't finish,
00:49:27we can't finish your film.
00:49:28Now, if you,
00:49:29if you're willing
00:49:31to reconsider that the, uh,
00:49:33what the distributors wanted to do...
00:49:35I'm not gonna be dictated to
00:49:36by small mines
00:49:37and large wallets.
00:49:39I'm just not gonna.
00:49:43Now, I do have some really good news.
00:49:46Do you remember that, uh,
00:49:47competition that we had
00:49:48for the, uh, Arts Council grant?
00:49:51Yeah.
00:49:52Well, it never showed up,
00:49:53so we're a shoe win.
00:49:56Abel.
00:49:58Did it?
00:49:59You are a lifesaver.
00:50:03What?
00:50:04When did you get nominated?
00:50:06You have to be nominated?
00:50:08Philip?
00:50:09Are you serious?
00:50:10Yeah.
00:50:11I'm getting, okay, I,
00:50:13I'm having my name engraved right now.
00:50:15I can get your name on,
00:50:16on one,
00:50:17or you can share it, you know.
00:50:18Whatever, Philip.
00:50:34Action.
00:50:38Cut!
00:50:39Oh, for Pete's sake,
00:50:41we're out of blood.
00:50:43That's five, everyone.
00:50:44Four, un...
00:50:44Oh, no.
00:50:46No.
00:50:57No.
00:51:04Um, no.
00:51:06No.
00:51:07Whoa.
00:51:08Sorry.
00:51:10It's a nice day.
00:51:11Oh, no.
00:51:30Still alive?
00:51:41Maybe you do have what it takes
00:51:43to bleed for your art, after all.
00:51:56It's cut-check time.
00:52:14It's cut-check time.
00:52:19It's cut-check time.
00:52:22You can see it's cut-check time.
00:52:25And I will give you a little bit more of a simple recipe.
00:52:26No, it's cut-check time.
00:52:31But that's why I got to cut the cake.
00:53:15Try to find out what's in the vault.
00:53:18I know Whitman's hiding something.
00:53:21The investor.
00:53:24Yes, I found Mr. Kohlberg.
00:53:27No.
00:53:29No, I don't think he'll be of any use to us.
00:53:31No.
00:54:01No.
00:54:05No.
00:54:09No.
00:54:17No.
00:54:19No.
00:54:25No.
00:54:37No.
00:54:37No.
00:54:37No.
00:54:37No.
00:54:38No.
00:54:41No.
00:54:42No.
00:54:43No.
00:54:45No.
00:54:50No.
00:54:52No.
00:54:53No.
00:54:55No.
00:54:56No.
00:55:00No.
00:55:02No.
00:55:13I'm your belle nana, behind the door, my last door, and just for you.
00:55:41This is great.
00:55:42This is some of your best work.
00:55:45I knew you had it in you, from day one.
00:55:48It's really something, isn't it?
00:55:49I think I've finally gotten inside of Bobo's head.
00:55:53Abel, Abel, there's something I have to tell you.
00:55:55What is it?
00:55:57It's Ozzy.
00:55:59The police found him along with its girlfriend.
00:56:02Really?
00:56:03Dead.
00:56:04They say it's a murder-suicide.
00:56:06That's ghastly.
00:56:08There's more.
00:56:09More?
00:56:10Apparently Ozzy has killed other people as well.
00:56:15No.
00:56:16Yeah.
00:56:18A stripper.
00:56:22That critic, Grigorski, and most of our special effects crew, they're still finding pieces.
00:56:31I just got a bill for the harpoon that Ozzy used to tend it all.
00:56:37Hell, it's all here in the late edition.
00:56:41He used company money, and the police say it's evidence.
00:56:46Fiendish is what I'd call it.
00:56:48I'm absolutely aghast.
00:56:50But it would make a great movie.
00:56:52Which reminds me, I've organized a screening of a film I found in Farmsworth Waltz.
00:56:59It's called One Trillion Leaning Tower.
00:57:04We don't have a copy of that.
00:57:05Yes, we do.
00:57:07I thought that was an urban legend.
00:57:09No, it's real, and we have to show it.
00:57:11We really have to show the people what filmmaking is all about.
00:57:15What real filmmaking, what the art of filmmaking is all about.
00:57:19We've got to snap them out of their complacency.
00:57:22We've got to show them the suffering, and the hurt, and the pain that goes into filmmaking.
00:57:29We've got to really shake them up.
00:57:36We could use it as publicity for Terror Toy 2.
00:57:39We could even have a Q&A beforehand with April as the hostess.
00:57:45I think that's a fantastic idea.
00:57:47It would be good publicity, especially after something like this.
00:57:52What do you need me to do?
00:57:53Just book the theater.
00:57:55I'll handle the film personally.
00:58:05Bah.
00:58:06Bah.
00:58:08The case is not concluded.
00:58:10The suicide note was an obvious forgery.
00:58:13You don't need a Beaumont-sized intellect to see.
00:58:15The police accepted it simply so they could go home early.
00:58:19Kohlberg wasn't the killer?
00:58:23Kohlberg wasn't the killer.
00:58:24The man who killed Gigi is still out there.
00:58:27Yes.
00:58:28It's Whitman.
00:58:29I know it.
00:58:30I just need some proof.
00:58:32Something the police can't even ignore.
00:58:35You sure?
00:58:36It's just so hard to believe.
00:58:38He's so passionate.
00:58:41Passion is just insanity in a cashmere sweater.
00:58:45Well, it's too late.
00:58:46The station won't pay anymore.
00:58:48They say the case is closed.
00:58:50It's over.
00:58:51When Isaac Beaumont takes on a case, no one takes him off.
00:58:56Besides, I cast your station's check days ago.
00:58:59So what are we going to do now?
00:59:01Hmm.
00:59:03You are gonna go shoot your next scene.
00:59:05I'm going to go talk to a dead woman.
00:59:18Still got it, Alan.
00:59:23I took your advice, Alan.
00:59:26My advice?
00:59:27Yes, your advice.
00:59:28About killing somebody and framing them in order to throw the police off my scent.
00:59:33You mean your character's scent.
00:59:35And then it occurred to me that in order for me to complete my alibi,
00:59:41I'd have to get rid of the one person who could finger me.
00:59:45Uh, Abel, are we still talking about the script?
00:59:50I'm taking the script out of your hands, Alan.
01:00:18Oh, I like the way that sounds.
01:00:20I really like the way that sounds.
01:00:22Alan!
01:00:22Alan!
01:00:23Your hands are bleeding!
01:00:24Alan!
01:00:25Did I tell you?
01:00:26I'm gonna kill everybody!
01:00:29It's me, Alan!
01:00:30And your hands are bleeding!
01:00:32Did I happen to mention that your hands are bleeding?
01:00:35Your hands are bleeding!
01:00:37It's Bobo!
01:00:39He's going to kill everyone!
01:00:41What?
01:00:44And cut!
01:00:46That's a print!
01:00:50You're better every day, April.
01:00:52But today, you're acting as if your life depended on it.
01:00:56I want...
01:00:58I want to believe in you, Abel, that you...
01:01:01I think I may be in way over my head.
01:01:03Nonsense!
01:01:04You're acting...
01:01:04Abel, my boy.
01:01:05Could I have a word?
01:01:12What could it possibly be that is so important that you would interrupt me?
01:01:16An endangered species called professionalism, Abel.
01:01:20Listen.
01:01:21I've been reading the manuscript, and I noticed some inconsistencies between scene 84 and your new scenes 84A and 84B.
01:01:29Abel, we need to make some decision.
01:01:31I've been thinking...
01:01:32We'll discuss it this evening.
01:01:34We'll meet in Alan's office.
01:01:36I'd really appreciate your input.
01:01:39But of course.
01:01:42Ms. Carson...
01:01:44I've disproved the adage that dead men tell no tales.
01:01:49And in so doing, I have...
01:01:52proven the identity of our killer.
01:01:55All that remains now is to reveal it to the public with my trademark flair.
01:02:03Really?
01:02:05Screaming?
01:02:07To be televised live?
01:02:11Could you provide me with access to a camera and a pair of actors?
01:02:16Good.
01:02:17To catch a thief, think like a thief.
01:02:20To catch a filmmaker, think like a filmmaker.
01:02:26Isaac Boumond is about to make his directorial debut.
01:02:33Abel?
01:02:38Abel?
01:02:39Abel?
01:02:44What in the devil's name are you doing there, sitting in the dark, Abel?
01:02:49Abel?
01:02:50What is that?
01:02:51What is that?
01:02:52What is that smell?
01:02:53About your concern?
01:02:55About the continuity?
01:02:56I appreciate that.
01:02:58You've got a really good eye.
01:03:03I don't...
01:03:04I don't know what happened.
01:03:07I have no idea.
01:03:11Abel?
01:03:17Abel?
01:03:17It's like Alan was riding with his hands cut off.
01:03:23Abel?
01:03:24I'm gonna...
01:03:25I'm gonna...
01:03:26I'm gonna...
01:03:26Turn on the lights.
01:03:33Oh, dear.
01:03:36Oh.
01:03:37Oh, dear.
01:03:54Oh, dear.
01:04:04Let's go.
01:04:34My God, what a beautiful shot.
01:04:40I've always said you have a really good eye, Armada.
01:05:08Armada can't be with us today, so I'll be handling the camera.
01:05:14This is the first time in seven films that he's missed a shoot.
01:05:19But in a way, I feel like part of him is still here with us.
01:05:25So let's give it our best today.
01:05:28This one is for Armand.
01:05:32Are we ready?
01:05:34Um, Abel?
01:05:35Yes?
01:05:36I think I still need my props.
01:05:38Right.
01:05:39Right.
01:05:47Perfect.
01:05:48Hold that expression.
01:05:52Speed.
01:05:54Action.
01:05:57Bobo, is all this killing...
01:06:02Bobo, is all this killing really on an end?
01:06:06I brought you the eyes of the innocent so you could stalk your victims.
01:06:10To show the world the horrors you've seen in the worlds beyond.
01:06:14These will make the completion of your human host body.
01:06:18And then...
01:06:19And then?
01:06:22And then, will all this killing really be on an end?
01:06:26Or just that it's beginning?
01:06:37Cut!
01:06:39Perfect!
01:06:40Done in one!
01:06:42Um, Abel, I think we're gonna be late for the show, and I still need to do my hair.
01:08:48Can you believe it? Actual lethal cinema. And we get to see it in person.
01:08:53No, I don't. I don't believe they even actually have a print.
01:08:56Makes Pasolini look like Gary Marshall.
01:08:58Who's putting this on again?
01:09:00Whitman. Abel Whitman.
01:09:02Jesus, I hope he makes a movie someday.
01:09:27I'm April Carson.
01:09:29And we're here at the Bytown Cinema to witness film history, one trillion leaning towers.
01:09:39Allow me to introduce the man responsible for this screening and whatever its consequences may be, Abel Whitman.
01:09:50Good evening, April. I want to begin with...
01:09:53And on this night of mysteries, a man who makes his living solving mysteries, Isaac Beaumont.
01:10:08Final reel, Mr. Whitman.
01:10:12Thank you, April. But I'm not here as a detective this evening. I'm here as an artist.
01:10:19What?
01:10:20Tell us more, Mr. Beaumont.
01:10:22I've directed a short film to be played before tonight's main feature.
01:10:26Tell me, Mr. Whitman, are you familiar with Shakespeare?
01:10:29Hamlet, in particular.
01:10:30I'm familiar with Shakespeare.
01:10:32And I have this theory on Hamlet that perhaps it was the first horror film...
01:10:36Erase my film on the short scene in Hamlet, commonly known as the play within the play, or the mousetrap.
01:10:43I am curious to see how an artist of your standing reacts to it.
01:10:48What's the title, Mr. Beaumont?
01:10:50I call it The Murder of Grigorski.
01:10:53Sounds great. Let's watch.
01:11:14I call it The Murder of Grigorski.
01:11:26I call it The Murder of Grigorski.
01:12:21The Murder of Grigorski.
01:12:27Congratulations, Mr. Beaumont, and now you know what it is to be a true artist!
01:13:11I'm sorry, Mr. Beaumont.
01:13:50You won't!
01:13:51Get away with it?
01:13:53But I already have, Miss Carson.
01:13:55Your Isaac Moulin is just another body on a pile of bodies.
01:14:00Look, I don't know why Abel said that.
01:14:02I really don't.
01:14:03But why distribution is what we've been after since day one?
01:14:06All right? Look, I gotta go.
01:14:10Abel? Abel, is that you?
01:14:12Hey, I sold our distribution.
01:14:14You didn't watch this?
01:14:16I told you!
01:14:17This film has to remain completely independent.
01:14:20But that's what I've been after from day one.
01:14:26Check!
01:14:31Please check!
01:14:33Check!
01:14:42Check!
01:14:56Nooses.
01:14:59Forget it!
01:15:00Forget it?
01:15:04Put your hands in.
01:15:08You're not gonna get away with this!
01:15:10Abel! Abel?
01:15:12Abel, I brought the prop you wanted.
01:15:18Um, should I come back later?
01:15:29Miss Carson, you'll be immortalized in Abel Whitman's next film, whether you like it or not.
01:15:47Let's go.
01:15:50Rolling!
01:15:53Speed!
01:16:02Action!
01:16:04No!
01:16:06Cut!
01:16:12This is a closed set, Mr. Beaumont.
01:16:16Who do you think you are?
01:16:19I am the censor board, Mr. Whitman.
01:16:22And you have violated community standards.
01:16:54Me who do you think?
01:16:57Evening, Miss Carson.
01:17:17I have final cut, Mr. Bulton!
01:17:44Fade to black, Mr. Whitman.
01:18:00That was for Gigi.
01:18:11Gigi.
01:18:12Oh, my God, Gigi.
01:18:28All my life, I've had this perfect film in my head.
01:18:40I've never been able to get to the screen.
01:18:46And now, finally, I get a chance to see it.
01:19:08Another case brought to a successful completion.
01:19:11We should celebrate.
01:19:13Perhaps over dinner.
01:19:16You appear to have room.
01:19:18I kissed my dead sister's severed head.
01:19:22I think instead of dinner,
01:19:24I might need to go get some trauma counseling.
01:19:28As you wish.
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