- 4 weeks ago
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00:00:00So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:09Alright, it's about that time.
00:00:11So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:20Yeah, him.
00:00:22Hi!
00:00:23Just hang on.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30I hate it!
00:00:32I hate it!
00:00:54You have a cute scar.
00:00:56It's just my birthmark.
00:00:59Do you want me to stop, Timmy, now?
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:28I was so drunk last night.
00:01:38I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:43I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:51Happy New Year!
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:54Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:56I don't care how.
00:01:57Just do it.
00:01:59I will find you.
00:02:05Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:09Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend?
00:02:12I need grandkids.
00:02:13I need you to-
00:02:14Message received, Mom.
00:02:16I need to go now.
00:02:17I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:27Seven years.
00:02:29Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:31And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:40Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:42Boss, it's been years.
00:02:47I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:49Your vest, sir.
00:02:51But first, we found your fake Christmas wife.
00:02:53She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:55Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:57And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:59We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO
00:03:01or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:03Good.
00:03:04Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:08Hi.
00:03:10One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:12And one hot chocolate.
00:03:14I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:17Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:22Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:25It's just for Christmas.
00:03:27But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:29Where's my real one?
00:03:31Uh...
00:03:38I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:40Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:41Daddy!
00:03:42Oh!
00:03:43Whoa!
00:03:45Daddy!
00:03:46Oh!
00:03:47I'm sorry.
00:03:49I'm not your dad.
00:03:50No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I am.
00:03:51Oh.
00:03:52Mommy, hurry.
00:03:53Your Christmas husband has arrived.
00:03:55I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:03:56He's gorgeous.
00:03:57Ugh.
00:03:58I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:03:59He's gorgeous.
00:04:00Ugh.
00:04:01Why does it feel so beautiful?
00:04:02Why does it feel so beautiful?
00:04:03Why does it feel so beautiful?
00:04:05Why does it feel so beautiful?
00:04:06I'm sorry.
00:04:07I'm sorry.
00:04:08I'm not your dad.
00:04:10No, I know you're my daddy just as handsome as I am.
00:04:11Oh.
00:04:12Mommy, hurry.
00:04:13Your Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:14I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:22He's gorgeous.
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:32She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:34Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:35You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:38So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:41See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:43Hi, my name's Piper. What's your name?
00:04:46Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:48Max, Aurelius.
00:04:50Eva.
00:04:51I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:56I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:59I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:02So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:08$1,000 an hour?
00:05:09Well, yeah.
00:05:11It's $500 a day.
00:05:13Is that enough?
00:05:15That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:16Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:18That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:20You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:22Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:24Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:27and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:30And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:32so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:34So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:39Fine.
00:05:40But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:45Okay.
00:05:45Deal.
00:05:49Ready to go get married?
00:05:50Wow.
00:06:05Clean up nice.
00:06:07This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:09Pictures.
00:06:09Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:21I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:48To prove to my parents that I'm actually married
00:06:51and have a happy family.
00:06:53Yeah.
00:06:53Of course.
00:07:04Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:06From my family to you.
00:07:07Bad news, boss.
00:07:17The agency said that the girl that they recruited
00:07:19to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:21Wait, she bailed?
00:07:23Then who is...
00:07:24Who is she?
00:07:29Whatever.
00:07:30It doesn't matter.
00:07:32I've got what I need.
00:07:35Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:36I already found someone.
00:07:43Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:46Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:48Christmas shopping?
00:07:49I should come.
00:07:51Look, if you want me to be the husband
00:07:53in this fake-it-to-your-family plan,
00:07:55I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:57It'll make it more believable.
00:07:58It'll make it more believable.
00:08:02Fine.
00:08:03Yeah, fine.
00:08:03Okay.
00:08:04You can come.
00:08:12Let's go.
00:08:13Which mall are we going to?
00:08:15Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:17Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:18What the actual fuck?
00:08:29Sam, is Maximus pulling another one
00:08:32of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:35Give me a DNA test for that little girl
00:08:37that he's with.
00:08:38She does kind of look like him.
00:08:46So when we give these gifts to my parents,
00:08:48we will say they're from you.
00:08:51Here, let me get this.
00:08:52I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:56Oh, so I was, uh, thinking that
00:09:00since we're married,
00:09:02we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:06in front of them.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:09Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:11No, no, definitely not.
00:09:13And absolutely no.
00:09:14Sex?
00:09:15Yes.
00:09:17This is strictly business.
00:09:19Anything physical outside of that
00:09:20is not happening.
00:09:22What?
00:09:24Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:27I just don't want Piper
00:09:28to have messy complications
00:09:29getting in the way
00:09:30of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:33Let's go.
00:09:40Here.
00:09:41What are you doing?
00:09:42I'd never let my woman
00:09:43pick up the tab.
00:09:46Well, I'm not your woman,
00:09:47and this isn't a real relationship,
00:09:49and I don't want your money.
00:09:51Attention shoppers,
00:09:53all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5550% off pies?
00:09:57Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5912 pumpkin pies.
00:10:00I hear this right?
00:10:00They're the best kind.
00:10:02Hurry up and go.
00:10:03Go.
00:10:03What are you standing here for?
00:10:04Hello there.
00:10:07Hi.
00:10:08You ready?
00:10:08Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:10Okay, great.
00:10:11We have a holiday special today.
00:10:13Spend $500, get 10% off,
00:10:16and you are just short $15
00:10:17if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:19Oh, great.
00:10:20Yeah, what do you have that's just $15?
00:10:22Well, can you get a move on?
00:10:24I just got here.
00:10:26Relax.
00:10:27Yeah, yeah.
00:10:30Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:32Okay, thank you.
00:10:35Hurry up and pay.
00:10:39I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:41You can wait your turn.
00:10:47Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:49Oh, wait, wait, wait, not the pies.
00:10:57Not the pies.
00:10:58You can just set those on top.
00:11:04Hi, guys.
00:11:06I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:13Thank you so much.
00:11:14Of course.
00:11:15I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:17She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:19Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:20Just to give it away.
00:11:23Merry Christmas.
00:11:24Merry Christmas.
00:11:30What?
00:11:31You do that often?
00:11:33As often as I can.
00:11:38We should go.
00:11:39We got to pick up paper.
00:11:44Watch out.
00:11:49You done feeling me up?
00:12:07Shut up.
00:12:07I'm sorry.
00:12:08I was just in character, wife.
00:12:09You?
00:12:10Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:12And don't be late.
00:12:17And don't be late.
00:12:30Harrison Group?
00:12:31Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:34Sort of.
00:12:35Not that I'm judging.
00:12:36I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:42Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:45I think that's respectable.
00:12:47Can we pick another company?
00:12:49No.
00:12:50Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:52And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:53My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:55So, it's perfect.
00:12:57Perfect.
00:12:58Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:13:04Don't worry.
00:13:05Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:07I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:10Too much.
00:13:11Let's go, Sam.
00:13:33It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:35Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:39It's my daughter's.
00:13:42Daughter's?
00:13:44Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:02Hey, there they are!
00:14:04Hey, there they are!
00:14:04Hey, there they are!
00:14:04Hey, there they are!
00:14:05Hey, there they are!
00:14:06Hey, there they are!
00:14:06Oh, Dad!
00:14:08Aren't you needed?
00:14:08Oh, I missed you.
00:14:11So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:15He's coming.
00:14:16Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:18Good, good, good.
00:14:20So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:24When's he arriving?
00:14:26Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:30Poor thing.
00:14:31Not surprising.
00:14:32I mean, she's 30.
00:14:33Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:37Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:41This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:47Auntie Pamela?
00:14:47Debbie?
00:14:48Debbie?
00:14:48My dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:52We're only worried about you.
00:14:54All these years without a husband.
00:14:56Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:57You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:02And look what happened.
00:15:03She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:07I'm not alone.
00:15:08Mm-hmm.
00:15:08And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:14He's a manager.
00:15:16Manager?
00:15:17Of what?
00:15:19Trash.
00:15:21Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:25You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:28Actually, he's right here.
00:15:33Oh, wow.
00:15:34Wow, he is really good looking.
00:15:40Ah, must be AI.
00:15:42Mm-hmm.
00:15:43Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:46Thank.
00:15:47That's enough.
00:15:48She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:50Show some respect.
00:15:51Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William,
00:15:56and you turned him down?
00:15:58Well, guess what?
00:16:00William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:02Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:05That's half a million.
00:16:08Half a million.
00:16:09Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:13And speak of the devil.
00:16:17Willie, you made it.
00:16:20There you are.
00:16:32Oh, look at you now.
00:16:34Living the dream.
00:16:36Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:38Well, you could be driving around in a car like that
00:16:41had you not married that criminal waste manager.
00:16:44So married, huh?
00:16:46Is it serious?
00:16:47That's what marriage is.
00:16:49It's pretty serious.
00:16:51Wow.
00:16:52You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:55Makes sense, though.
00:16:56You not being a hot, young thing anymore.
00:16:59Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:17:02Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:05Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:07That's right.
00:17:10Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:14Women love a man in red.
00:17:16Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:19Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:21Don't touch me.
00:17:22Oh, so entitled.
00:17:24Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:28And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:32I mean, look at that car.
00:17:35Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:38Think of the life I can give you and Piper
00:17:40with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:41Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:46I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:54My mom would never marry.
00:17:56She already has a husband.
00:17:57He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:58Is that so?
00:18:04Well, then, where is he?
00:18:06Because I don't see him.
00:18:08Does anyone see him?
00:18:11No.
00:18:12Just like I thought.
00:18:14Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:17That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:20And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:25Hey.
00:18:26Mommy.
00:18:27Hi.
00:18:27Are you okay?
00:18:28See your hands?
00:18:29Oh, my God.
00:18:31I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:33Come on, now.
00:18:34Let's go.
00:18:36What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:38How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:42Let me go.
00:18:43Now, why would I go and do a thing like that
00:18:46when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:49Let me go.
00:18:49Let me go.
00:18:49Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:07Max, you came.
00:19:12Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:17Where's Piper?
00:19:18William Hitter?
00:19:20Mom, Dad had to take her inside.
00:19:21Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:25Well, well, well.
00:19:26If it isn't a waste manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:30That's right.
00:19:30Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:36Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:38It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:40I'm Max.
00:19:41Eva told us all about you.
00:19:42From New York.
00:19:44Polite.
00:19:44Handsome.
00:19:45Just like she said.
00:19:47Wow.
00:19:49He was an AI.
00:19:50See?
00:19:51He's real.
00:19:52And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:56Son of a bitch.
00:19:57You just ruined my suit.
00:19:58And watch the way that you drive that...
00:20:00That pristine automobile.
00:20:03That car?
00:20:04Oh, my God.
00:20:05That's worth more than a house.
00:20:08That car?
00:20:09It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:13Wait.
00:20:15Are you?
00:20:20Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:23And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:25I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:27You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:29You stole it.
00:20:31That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:33Jesus.
00:20:34How did he get away with it?
00:20:35That's what I want to know.
00:20:37Enough, please.
00:20:40I trust my daughter.
00:20:42She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:45Max, be honest with me.
00:20:48Where did that car come from?
00:20:50How much do you want for it?
00:20:52I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:56So, you need a breath, man.
00:21:01All right, that's it.
00:21:02I'm calling the cops.
00:21:03Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:05Wait.
00:21:06What?
00:21:07Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:09Oh, well.
00:21:11Too late.
00:21:18Listen, hon.
00:21:19I believe you.
00:21:21But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:25Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:27It's my car.
00:21:27Okay?
00:21:28It's not stolen.
00:21:28Huh, yeah?
00:21:30If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:33Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:35Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:37Okay.
00:21:38I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:39But then you have to get lost.
00:21:41And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:44Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:46Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:48Loser.
00:21:49Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:52Jesus, maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:57It's kind of sexy, though.
00:22:01Here.
00:22:02Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:11Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:19Mr. Harrison?
00:22:20He keeps me alone.
00:22:23Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:25Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:29Yes, sir.
00:22:30I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:32Please, it's not my serious apologies.
00:22:44Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:22:49He fooled me.
00:22:50What can I say?
00:22:51Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:55Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:57Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:58We were just looking out for you.
00:23:00Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:03You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:05Soon.
00:23:05Do you think that you could help him get a split in the door?
00:23:09A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mail room, would open doors.
00:23:14We are family, aren't we?
00:23:16Family takes care of each other.
00:23:17If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone
00:23:22else.
00:23:23Abigail, come on.
00:23:25Talk to her for us.
00:23:27Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:30Yeah.
00:23:30I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:33My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:36You're your best life.
00:23:37My new son-in-law.
00:23:39Come on, guys.
00:23:40Let's go in.
00:23:41Welcome to the family.
00:23:42This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:52You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:56My fault?
00:23:57You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:24:10Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:12And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:14And how do you...
00:24:15I told you.
00:24:16I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:18I have a friend in high places.
00:24:20A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:25Yes.
00:24:26It's the season of giving.
00:24:27He knows people.
00:24:29Has connections.
00:24:30He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:33You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:34Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:24:36Capisce?
00:24:36Oh, my God.
00:24:37Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:40Dad!
00:24:41Mom!
00:24:41Mom, thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:45Oh, honey.
00:24:46We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:51I think they get it, hon.
00:24:56How's Piper?
00:24:57Oh, she's fine.
00:24:59One of you guys just gets settled in, and we will go check on her.
00:25:02And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:07Great.
00:25:07Great.
00:25:08See you in a bit.
00:25:09Shall we?
00:25:10What are you doing?
00:25:13Okay.
00:25:15Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:20Relax.
00:25:21It was just a hug.
00:25:24Ugh.
00:25:24We just got here, and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:28You'll be okay.
00:25:30It's just one week.
00:25:31Kill me now.
00:25:32Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:34What are you doing?
00:25:41That's weird.
00:25:43They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:45I don't know.
00:25:46Something just falls off.
00:25:48That's ridiculous.
00:25:49I mean, what do you want to go there alone?
00:25:51Make out promise to prove it?
00:25:53I'll miss.
00:25:56Later.
00:25:56Here we go.
00:26:06Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:07Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:26:10To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:13Oh.
00:26:15Welcome.
00:26:16Cheers.
00:26:16Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:18Looks great.
00:26:19Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:21I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:25But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:29Mmm.
00:26:30Oh, no.
00:26:31Mom's testing him.
00:26:32She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:34You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:40Ow.
00:26:41Eva, sweetie.
00:26:43Kicking my foot.
00:26:44Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:46Oh, jeez.
00:26:49It's okay.
00:26:50Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:26:52I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:5512 pumpkin pies.
00:27:08Did I hear this right?
00:27:09They're the best kind.
00:27:12Well, of course.
00:27:13It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:15See?
00:27:16Are you happy now?
00:27:17That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:20Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:29But our marriage is real.
00:27:31I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:34Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:38Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:41Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:43Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:49I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:52Well, um, it's...
00:27:54Silly face.
00:27:55Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:58Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:28:00Silly face.
00:28:01And I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:05Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:07Wowzers.
00:28:08That's nice.
00:28:11You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:13Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:17And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:19I'll drink to that.
00:28:21Is that good with you there?
00:28:23So, come on, guys.
00:28:24Let's eat.
00:28:25Come on.
00:28:25And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:40I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:43Nice and festive for you.
00:28:46No complications, right?
00:28:47Sorry, honey.
00:28:48Mom, you know what?
00:28:49I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:51Oh, honey.
00:28:53Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:55Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:58The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:29:00Something about water conservation.
00:29:02That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0415 minutes?
00:29:06Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:08Just shower together.
00:29:10Shower together?
00:29:14Just shower together.
00:29:16Okay, you guys.
00:29:17Have a good night, okay?
00:29:22You heard her.
00:29:25Oh, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:50Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:51We have 15 minutes.
00:29:52Nice try.
00:29:53I am not showering with you.
00:29:55All right, sit yourself.
00:29:57All room for me in there.
00:29:58Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:00Come on, Max.
00:30:18Get out of the way.
00:30:20You agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:21You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:24Relax.
00:30:25I won't touch you.
00:30:27Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:28But that'll cost extra.
00:30:32Yeah.
00:30:34Hmm.
00:30:41And your dreams.
00:30:44Free to join me.
00:30:44You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:31:08You wish.
00:31:09Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:11Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:13It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:16Oh, yeah?
00:31:17True.
00:31:18Holy shit.
00:31:29Holy shit.
00:31:33Natalie, this is, I'm, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:38I'll say.
00:31:40What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:43Still think you can resist?
00:31:44Baby, I don't think I want you.
00:31:54Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:56Or maybe we should.
00:32:00God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:02Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:11Wow.
00:32:12We're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:24What?
00:32:25I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:27It's not you, Max.
00:32:28It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:29This is all an act.
00:32:30Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:33You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:37I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:38Just...
00:32:43That birthmark.
00:32:48What is that?
00:32:56It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:58Is he...
00:32:59Piper's father?
00:33:03Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:08Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:12Yeah.
00:33:13I just, um...
00:33:15I just got lightheaded.
00:33:16I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:18Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:24We have a daughter together.
00:33:26Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:34I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:39Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:46I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need,
00:33:50I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father.
00:33:55He has a right to know.
00:33:57Um, Max.
00:34:00How would you feel
00:34:01if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:07No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:16I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:21and I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:23You know?
00:34:25Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:29I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:30Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:34Just curious.
00:34:36No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:46Shoot.
00:34:46Shoot.
00:34:46Where did you get these?
00:34:53And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:35:05Stop coming.
00:35:06Get through.
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:08Elon,
00:35:20the truth is,
00:35:22is that I...
00:35:23Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:28Come in.
00:35:30Hey, hon.
00:35:32Oh!
00:35:33Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:34but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:35:37before I tuck her in.
00:35:38Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:40We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:42I can see that.
00:35:44Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:46I mean, if you don't...
00:35:47If you don't mind.
00:35:48Well, attaboy.
00:35:50You know what?
00:35:50Just put a shirt on.
00:35:52I'm gonna go get her.
00:35:53Piper!
00:35:54Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:58He sprang to his sleigh,
00:36:00to his team gave a whistle,
00:36:01and away they all flew,
00:36:03like the down of a thistle.
00:36:05But I heard him exclaim,
00:36:07as he drove out of sight,
00:36:09Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:11and to all,
00:36:13a good night.
00:36:16If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:18she'd be over the moon.
00:36:20Good night, Piper.
00:36:25Is her dad still around?
00:36:27Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:29because you are her dad.
00:36:32Uh, no.
00:36:33That man has no idea
00:36:35what a treasure
00:36:36he's missing out on.
00:36:41Do you really think so?
00:36:43From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:46Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:47He deserves to know.
00:36:48Max.
00:36:59You're Piper's father.
00:37:07I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:09I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:18Where's Piper?
00:37:35She must have snuck off
00:37:37while we were asleep.
00:37:38God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:55Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:06Not on my watch.
00:38:11Yeah, this.
00:38:13I remember this.
00:38:15Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:38:27How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:30Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:32It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:34Wonderful.
00:38:34Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:38Oh, no.
00:38:40What is that?
00:38:41Sardines and saltines.
00:38:42It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:44It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:46during wartime.
00:38:47Don't be shy.
00:38:48Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:51Max, you don't have to.
00:38:52No, no.
00:38:53It's okay.
00:38:54It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:06No.
00:39:12Good?
00:39:16Mmm.
00:39:17Good?
00:39:19Scrunches.
00:39:21Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:22You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:26Could I, um,
00:39:27could I have some water, please?
00:39:29That means there's no escaping
00:39:30Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:32What's the deal with them?
00:39:34Every year, Aunt Miranda
00:39:35bullies Piper and I.
00:39:37Says Piper's a fatherless brat,
00:39:39and I'm...
00:39:40Hey, don't worry.
00:39:42I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:47Better have Sam on standby tonight,
00:39:49just in case.
00:39:50Well,
00:39:51looks like it's time
00:39:52to get dressed up then.
00:39:53Wait, that earring.
00:40:07Wait, that earring.
00:40:09You like it?
00:40:11I was so bummed
00:40:12when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:14Did you lose it
00:40:14seven years ago?
00:40:16I don't really remember the details,
00:40:18but luckily,
00:40:19I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:21Right.
00:40:23That's just a common earring.
00:40:25Anyone can have it.
00:40:26Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:28She can't be the woman
00:40:29from seven years ago.
00:40:33So,
00:40:33Ava and Piper
00:40:34still aren't here.
00:40:37But Derek said
00:40:38that Ava got married.
00:40:40What kind of man
00:40:41could she possibly have landed?
00:40:43An aging single mom.
00:40:46Slim pickings.
00:40:47I heard
00:40:48he's in waste management.
00:40:50That explains it.
00:40:51She's probably
00:40:52too embarrassed
00:40:53to show up.
00:40:54Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:56No,
00:40:56Ava is your niece.
00:40:58Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:59Everyone knows
00:41:00Ava had a kid
00:41:01with a random
00:41:02one-night stand.
00:41:03Her track record
00:41:04speaks for itself.
00:41:05Exactly.
00:41:06Not like my Sierra.
00:41:07Married to a legal advisor
00:41:09for Harrison Group.
00:41:10Oh,
00:41:13they're here.
00:41:15Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:21Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:23Merry Christmas.
00:41:25You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:27I am.
00:41:28I'm Ava's husband.
00:41:29Max.
00:41:30Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:31Welcome.
00:41:31You're Ava's husband.
00:41:33But
00:41:34you're gorgeous.
00:41:37But
00:41:38what as handsome as you.
00:41:39Look at you two.
00:41:41You look like
00:41:41you just stepped out
00:41:42of a movie.
00:41:43Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:45Merry Christmas.
00:41:46This is from Max and I.
00:41:48Oh, my goodness.
00:41:49Thank you, Ava.
00:41:50Let me grab that
00:41:51for you, Daddy.
00:41:53Oops.
00:41:53Oh, my bad.
00:41:54Oh,
00:41:55a homemade gift.
00:41:57How thrifty.
00:41:59Not all gifts
00:42:00are about the price tag.
00:42:01Mommy's right.
00:42:02You mean all high?
00:42:04You little.
00:42:05You will not lay a hand
00:42:08on my daughter
00:42:09or you will lose yours.
00:42:11Oh,
00:42:11I think you broke my wrist.
00:42:14Look what you just did
00:42:15to my mother.
00:42:16My husband
00:42:17is Harrison Group's
00:42:18top legal advisor.
00:42:19He could ruin
00:42:20your life.
00:42:21What are you?
00:42:34Are you okay?
00:42:35I'm fine.
00:42:35I'm just wet, honey.
00:42:37Yeah.
00:42:37It's okay.
00:42:38It's okay.
00:42:40What are you?
00:42:43Don't you dare
00:42:44disrespect my husband.
00:42:46Did you just slap me?
00:42:48Next time,
00:42:49it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:50You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:51You know what,
00:42:52Sierra?
00:42:52I can take
00:42:53your little insults,
00:42:54but leave my family
00:42:55out of this.
00:42:58Her family.
00:42:59She needs me.
00:43:05You okay, honey?
00:43:06Do I look okay to you,
00:43:08dumbass?
00:43:08Do something.
00:43:10You don't know
00:43:11who you're messing with.
00:43:12I've got the full weight
00:43:13of the Harrison Group
00:43:13behind me.
00:43:14Oh, wow.
00:43:15I'm sure the CEO
00:43:16would love to hear
00:43:17that you're using
00:43:18his company's name
00:43:19to bully people.
00:43:21Like you'd have
00:43:21any idea
00:43:22how a CEO thinks.
00:43:23Let's call him.
00:43:24I'm sure he'd be
00:43:25more than happy
00:43:26to be on my side.
00:43:28Please.
00:43:28Who do you think
00:43:29you are?
00:43:31Enough!
00:43:33There will be
00:43:34no arguing
00:43:34during Christmas.
00:43:36Fine, Dad.
00:43:38Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:39They're just jealous.
00:43:42For Grandpa's sake,
00:43:44I'll let you off easy.
00:43:44I think you
00:43:46owe Nathan
00:43:47a thank you.
00:43:49I think you
00:43:50owe me a thank you
00:43:50for slapping
00:43:51some sense into you.
00:43:52Do you want me
00:43:53to get the other cheek?
00:43:53All right,
00:43:54that's enough.
00:43:55Everyone come inside
00:43:56and sit down.
00:43:58Is this a joke?
00:44:20Can you please
00:44:21pass me some food?
00:44:22Hold it.
00:44:23Who said you could
00:44:23eat anything else?
00:44:24My husband and I
00:44:26paid for this feast.
00:44:30My husband and I
00:44:32paid for this feast.
00:44:34King crab,
00:44:36fresh from Alaska,
00:44:37and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:39Three times the price,
00:44:4150 times the flavor.
00:44:43And you don't get
00:44:44a single bite.
00:44:45It's just petty.
00:44:46Maybe so.
00:44:48But gourmet food
00:44:49isn't meant
00:44:50for bottom feeders.
00:44:52Fine.
00:44:52Then we won't
00:44:54stay and eat with you.
00:44:55Come on,
00:44:56let's go.
00:44:56No, no.
00:44:58Don't you dare
00:44:59leave our family dinner.
00:45:01Grandpa,
00:45:01I'm sorry,
00:45:02but they're
00:45:02treating us like...
00:45:04I know, dear.
00:45:05I just want to
00:45:06have our family together.
00:45:07Fine.
00:45:08We'll let the strays
00:45:09sit and eat with us.
00:45:11Better a stray
00:45:12than a bitch.
00:45:12What was that?
00:45:13I just want to
00:45:18have our family together.
00:45:20Fine.
00:45:21We'll stay.
00:45:22Can I have
00:45:23a little napple?
00:45:25It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:26We'll get something
00:45:26right after.
00:45:28Like drive-thru?
00:45:30I hope you enjoy
00:45:31food poisoning.
00:45:32That will be
00:45:32a particularly
00:45:33memorable
00:45:34Christmas present.
00:45:37No strays.
00:45:38Ow.
00:45:39Please,
00:45:39are you okay?
00:45:40Yes, please.
00:45:42You hit my child.
00:45:43You're fucking crazy.
00:45:45Well, if you'd
00:45:45teach her some manners,
00:45:47maybe I wouldn't
00:45:48have to.
00:45:48Don't worry, baby.
00:45:53I'll handle it.
00:45:56Don't worry, baby.
00:45:57I'll handle it.
00:46:02Piper.
00:46:03Sweetie,
00:46:04are you ready to try
00:46:05the best food
00:46:05you've ever had
00:46:06in your life?
00:46:09Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:10Give me two minutes
00:46:11and one phone call.
00:46:13As if you
00:46:13have a chef
00:46:14on speed dial.
00:46:16Actually, I do.
00:46:18He's such a liar.
00:46:19This ought to be
00:46:20hilarious.
00:46:21Oh,
00:46:22it will be.
00:46:25Sam.
00:46:26Yeah,
00:46:27send the troops
00:46:27and bring that
00:46:28king crab
00:46:29from Antarctica.
00:46:30I'm already
00:46:31on my way.
00:46:35Bring that
00:46:36king crab
00:46:36from Antarctica.
00:46:37I'm already
00:46:38on my way.
00:46:40You hear this guy?
00:46:42He wants the
00:46:42best king crab
00:46:43in the world
00:46:44from Antarctica.
00:46:47Now I get
00:46:47why you married
00:46:48him, Eva.
00:46:49His silly delusions
00:46:50are just adorable.
00:46:52Max,
00:46:53what are you doing?
00:46:54Don't worry
00:46:55about it, sweetheart.
00:46:56Santa's already
00:46:56on his way.
00:46:57Actually,
00:46:58five,
00:47:00four,
00:47:01three,
00:47:02two,
00:47:04one.
00:47:06A helicopter?
00:47:14There's no way.
00:47:20How did you
00:47:22pull this off?
00:47:22Sam is like family.
00:47:24I thought
00:47:24I'd introduce you
00:47:25to.
00:47:25Thanks, boss.
00:47:27boss.
00:47:28Eva's always
00:47:29been genuine
00:47:29with me.
00:47:30Maybe it's time
00:47:31she knew
00:47:31who I really am.
00:47:33Eva,
00:47:33I think it's time
00:47:34you actually
00:47:35know the truth.
00:47:36I'm
00:47:37Maximus Harrison.
00:47:39You're
00:47:40the CEO
00:47:41of Harrison Group?
00:47:43Mm-hmm.
00:47:46Come on.
00:47:48You can stop
00:47:49kidding around.
00:47:50If you were the CEO,
00:47:51if you were the CEO,
00:47:52why would you be here
00:47:53pretending to be my husband?
00:47:54No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:56Come on.
00:47:57You can stop the charade.
00:47:58Okay, this is just another favor
00:48:00from that bigwig friend,
00:48:01isn't it?
00:48:01Eva,
00:48:02I'm not pretending.
00:48:05Mr. Harrison,
00:48:06the Antarctic king crab,
00:48:07as you requested.
00:48:08How is this possible?
00:48:20This loser brings
00:48:21Antarctic king crab
00:48:23and has his own
00:48:24personal chef?
00:48:26Who are you?
00:48:28I told you.
00:48:29I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:31That chef
00:48:31called him
00:48:32Mr. Harrison.
00:48:33Wait.
00:48:34No.
00:48:34Hold on.
00:48:36You're the actual CEO
00:48:38of the Harrison Group?
00:48:41You're worth more
00:48:42than some whole countries.
00:48:43Mm.
00:48:44Some of the small ones.
00:48:46I mean,
00:48:46you know that.
00:48:48You work for me.
00:48:49Oh, God.
00:48:50I insulted my own boss.
00:48:53I'm finished.
00:48:58Oh, God.
00:48:59I insulted my own boss.
00:49:01I'm finished.
00:49:03Didn't think Max
00:49:03would commit this hard.
00:49:05Pretending to be CEO
00:49:06is a hell of a move.
00:49:07Worth every penny
00:49:08I'm paying him.
00:49:09For tonight,
00:49:10your fee stands.
00:49:11And with that,
00:49:12your career.
00:49:14You're fired.
00:49:15Fired?
00:49:16Sam?
00:49:21Fired?
00:49:22God.
00:49:23I can't be fired.
00:49:25Yes!
00:49:26Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:28You can have as much crab
00:49:29as you want.
00:49:30Please, Mr. Harrison,
00:49:31I'll do anything.
00:49:33Guys,
00:49:34take out the trash.
00:49:40And you.
00:49:41Oh, me?
00:49:43Mr. Harrison,
00:49:45come on.
00:49:45That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:47A family tradition.
00:49:49Yeah, well,
00:49:49there's a new family tradition.
00:49:51Sam?
00:49:53Hmm.
00:49:54Will you do me the honors?
00:49:59Gladly.
00:50:03Merry Christmas,
00:50:04you boy.
00:50:08Father,
00:50:08do something!
00:50:10You kind of deserve that.
00:50:12I'm leaving!
00:50:14Hmm.
00:50:14Pumpkin's my favorite.
00:50:15Come on, sweetie.
00:50:23Daddy had the scrap plan
00:50:24just for you.
00:50:25Eat as much as you want.
00:50:26Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:30I am so sorry
00:50:32I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:33I just couldn't take them
00:50:34treating you like that.
00:50:35Honestly?
00:50:37This is the best Christmas
00:50:38I've ever had.
00:50:39Well, if you want,
00:50:40we can have many more.
00:50:41Just like this.
00:50:43Does he really mean that?
00:50:44Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:46I can't tell.
00:50:48And that terrifies me.
00:50:49Merry Christmas,
00:50:55Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:55I brought you a gift.
00:50:57Here's the paternity test
00:50:58between the boss
00:50:58and that little girl.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:04Oh,
00:51:05this is wonderful.
00:51:08Sam,
00:51:08I have a granddaughter.
00:51:10Tell me everything.
00:51:12Miss Eva Smith,
00:51:13single mother,
00:51:14small town gal,
00:51:15didn't finish high school,
00:51:16currently works in retail.
00:51:18Oh, Maximus,
00:51:19I thought I raised you better.
00:51:21A high school dropout?
00:51:23In the Harrison family?
00:51:26Not a chance.
00:51:30She is clearly unfit
00:51:32to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:34Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:35Silence!
00:51:36Get me the address
00:51:37where she works.
00:51:38It's Happy Heals
00:51:39on Broadway.
00:51:40That's nice.
00:51:42We own that one.
00:51:43Good work.
00:51:44But take off
00:51:45that stupid hat.
00:51:56Thanks.
00:51:57So your dad insisted
00:51:58that I try this wine
00:51:59that he's been saving
00:52:00for 20 years.
00:52:03Sounds like he's happy
00:52:04with his new son-in-law.
00:52:05And how about you?
00:52:10Me?
00:52:11Yeah.
00:52:12Are you happy
00:52:14with your new husband?
00:52:18Eva.
00:52:29That birthmark.
00:52:31Family to me
00:52:32is a big commitment
00:52:33and I don't want
00:52:35any loose ends.
00:52:36You know?
00:52:37Maximus,
00:52:38there's so much
00:52:38we don't know.
00:52:39so much
00:52:40we're not telling
00:52:40each other.
00:52:43No feelings,
00:52:44no complications.
00:52:45That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:46Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:49Max.
00:52:50Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:53It's cold.
00:52:55Maybe I'll go grab
00:52:56some more firewood.
00:52:58Max.
00:52:59Max.
00:52:59I need to tell you something.
00:53:02I need to tell you something.
00:53:04Something important.
00:53:06What's gotten into her?
00:53:08Is she hiding something?
00:53:10Is this the part
00:53:10where you tell me
00:53:11there's no Santa?
00:53:13I haven't been
00:53:14completely honest with you.
00:53:15Piper is...
00:53:20Piper is...
00:53:21Piper is...
00:53:22Mommy, Daddy,
00:53:23my hand hurts.
00:53:25Sweetie.
00:53:26Oh my gosh.
00:53:26It's all swollen.
00:53:28Must have been
00:53:28when that witch
00:53:28smacked her
00:53:29with the fork earlier.
00:53:30Listen,
00:53:30you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:31Mommy's gonna go
00:53:32get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:36Come on, Piper.
00:53:40Okay, let me see.
00:53:40I promise
00:53:45I won't let anyone
00:53:46hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:48But that's not true.
00:53:49You're leaving
00:53:50after Christmas,
00:53:51aren't you?
00:53:53Uh...
00:53:54Daddy!
00:53:55No!
00:53:56What?
00:54:02Don't you dare
00:54:03disrespect my husband.
00:54:08Well, maybe
00:54:08I don't have to leave.
00:54:10Well, maybe
00:54:12I don't have to leave.
00:54:13Really?
00:54:13Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:18You think
00:54:19it was Scar?
00:54:21Hmm.
00:54:24I wouldn't worry
00:54:25about it.
00:54:26Scars make you
00:54:26look like a badass.
00:54:27I have one, too.
00:54:29Dad,
00:54:30I got that
00:54:32when I was
00:54:32about your age.
00:54:33Some punk
00:54:34came at me
00:54:34with a switchblade.
00:54:36Really?
00:54:37No way.
00:54:38No.
00:54:39It was actually
00:54:39a cactus.
00:54:40But it's still
00:54:41cool.
00:54:43I have something
00:54:44like that
00:54:45on the back
00:54:45of my neck.
00:54:49Piper,
00:54:50how long
00:54:50have you had that?
00:54:51My mom said
00:54:52I had that
00:54:52when I was born.
00:54:59And how old
00:55:00are you?
00:55:00Six.
00:55:02Six?
00:55:02That one night
00:55:03stand was about
00:55:04seven years ago.
00:55:05Okay,
00:55:05I found the
00:55:06first aid kit.
00:55:07Eva,
00:55:07are you sure
00:55:08we haven't met
00:55:08before?
00:55:11What do I even
00:55:12say?
00:55:13And how do I
00:55:14explain it to
00:55:14Piper?
00:55:15Sorry, honey.
00:55:16This man's your
00:55:17dad,
00:55:17and he didn't
00:55:17know you existed
00:55:18until now.
00:55:20Um,
00:55:21yeah.
00:55:24Can I see your hand,
00:55:25sweetie?
00:55:26Eva.
00:55:27Okay,
00:55:31look.
00:55:34Piper is...
00:55:39Go on.
00:55:41That must be
00:55:48an emergency.
00:55:50Excuse me.
00:55:51Sorry.
00:55:52I took this.
00:55:59Mommy,
00:56:00are you okay?
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:03Mommy's just
00:56:04realizing she's
00:56:05a coward.
00:56:06I don't even
00:56:07have the guts
00:56:07to tell the truth.
00:56:08Why haven't
00:56:12you picked up
00:56:12my calls?
00:56:13I'm telling you,
00:56:14Max,
00:56:15that woman
00:56:15is manipulating
00:56:16you.
00:56:17She's a high
00:56:18school dropout,
00:56:19doesn't even
00:56:19have a decent
00:56:20job,
00:56:21and she's
00:56:22unfit to raise
00:56:22my granddaughter.
00:56:24I'm Eva's house.
00:56:25Max,
00:56:26that man
00:56:26has no idea
00:56:28what a treasure
00:56:29he's missing
00:56:31out on.
00:56:34I'm sorry,
00:56:35Max.
00:56:35You can't know
00:56:36Piper's your daughter.
00:56:37your mother
00:56:38would take her
00:56:38away.
00:56:39After Christmas,
00:56:40it's over.
00:56:43Eva?
00:56:45Maximus?
00:56:46Are you even
00:56:46listening to me?
00:56:48No, Mom,
00:56:48Mom, listen,
00:56:49I'm sorry,
00:56:50okay?
00:56:50Eva's my wife,
00:56:51and I've made
00:56:52up my mind.
00:56:53I'm not leaving
00:56:53her.
00:56:56Eva?
00:57:02You're all
00:57:03good.
00:57:05Did you?
00:57:06Oh,
00:57:06thank you.
00:57:07This is for you,
00:57:08Grandma.
00:57:13Oh,
00:57:14wow.
00:57:15That's so cool.
00:57:16Did you make it?
00:57:18Derek,
00:57:18this is from
00:57:19Eva and I.
00:57:21Oh,
00:57:21thank you so much.
00:57:23Thanks,
00:57:24God.
00:57:24I'm glad you're here.
00:57:27You got it!
00:57:28Oh!
00:57:28Wow!
00:57:29Damn,
00:57:30these are nice!
00:57:31Grandpa,
00:57:32language,
00:57:33little ears.
00:57:34I'm sorry.
00:57:36Piper,
00:57:40do you want to go see
00:57:40your present?
00:57:41It's in the other room
00:57:42by the train set.
00:57:43I'll do it.
00:57:44Remember the song
00:57:44that we sang?
00:57:45Ready?
00:57:46Ready?
00:57:46Grandma got run over
00:57:48by a reindeer.
00:57:49What have we got, guys?
00:57:49Billy.
00:57:50Walking home from our house,
00:57:51Christmas Eve.
00:57:52You never told me.
00:58:00Have we met before?
00:58:04Have we met before?
00:58:07She's unfit
00:58:08to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:10I don't know
00:58:13what you're getting at.
00:58:16Eva,
00:58:16I have the same
00:58:17birthmark
00:58:18as Piper.
00:58:26I don't know
00:58:27what you're talking about.
00:58:28Lots of people
00:58:28have birthmarks.
00:58:29They're very common.
00:58:30I feel so awful,
00:58:31but I can't lose
00:58:32my child,
00:58:34no matter how
00:58:34I feel about him.
00:58:38Maybe.
00:58:38Are you okay?
00:58:44Are the clogs
00:58:45a bad idea?
00:58:47No.
00:58:48I'm fine.
00:58:50Um.
00:58:52Oh,
00:58:52I almost forgot.
00:58:56I got you this.
00:58:57You got me a gift, too?
00:58:59Tis the season.
00:59:01Open it.
00:59:08Gloves.
00:59:16Did you make these?
00:59:18Yeah.
00:59:19I know this is
00:59:20a fake marriage,
00:59:21but that's Christmas.
00:59:23You've already done
00:59:24so much for me,
00:59:24I just wanted to do
00:59:25a little something for you.
00:59:28How did I feel?
00:59:30Warm, right?
00:59:31Yeah.
00:59:33Warm.
00:59:35Soft.
00:59:38Perfect.
00:59:43Thank you, Eva.
00:59:45I've never gotten
00:59:46anything this meaningful
00:59:47before.
00:59:49Really?
00:59:49Yeah, my mom.
00:59:52She partied all the time,
00:59:53and I got gifts.
00:59:55Plenty of them,
00:59:56but I don't think
00:59:58she ever bought one herself.
01:00:01Nothing personal.
01:00:03Well, you deserve it.
01:00:05You're a good guy,
01:00:06and someday
01:00:09you'll find
01:00:10someone special
01:00:11to spend
01:00:13all your Christmases with.
01:00:15What if that day's today?
01:00:19What if I already
01:00:20found someone special
01:00:22right here?
01:00:24Max, we can't.
01:00:52If you want me to stop,
01:00:53you better tell me
01:00:54right now.
01:00:59Come on.
01:01:00I don't want you
01:01:01to stop.
01:01:08No matter how many
01:01:09years pass,
01:01:10I still can't resist him.
01:01:15I don't want you
01:01:16to stop.
01:01:18I don't want you
01:01:18to stop.
01:01:20I don't want you
01:01:21to stop.
01:01:23I don't want you.
01:01:24I don't want you.
01:01:35Oh, God,
01:01:35you are trying
01:01:36to be fucking insane.
01:01:41Piper!
01:01:50Piper?
01:01:53She can't see me!
01:02:11Eva?
01:02:15Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:23That was way too close.
01:02:31Yeah.
01:02:32We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:38Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:42Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:47You still haven't given me mine.
01:02:53Let me give it to you.
01:03:23Why are you calling me this morning?
01:03:26Hello?
01:03:27Hello, Eva Smith.
01:03:29I'm Max's mother.
01:03:31Name your price.
01:03:33What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:35W-what?
01:03:36We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:03:38Take the money, leave my granddaughter with me.
01:03:41I'm going to leave my son alone.
01:03:43What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:45W-what?
01:03:46We both know my son is way out of your league.
01:03:49Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go.
01:03:54My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:58Piper is my daughter.
01:03:59And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:04:02So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own.
01:04:04But I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:07Well, there's my beautiful wife.
01:04:11You okay?
01:04:17Look, we made it through Christmas.
01:04:23So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:27What are you talking about?
01:04:29It's over.
01:04:31It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:33Eva, wait!
01:04:37So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:44Well, Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:04:51So, this is just a goodbye?
01:04:55Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:04:58Look, last night, I let my guard down.
01:05:05But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper.
01:05:08And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:10Just tell me what you need.
01:05:12I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:05:17Just say the word.
01:05:19You don't get it.
01:05:26You don't get it.
01:05:34I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:41I won't give up on us.
01:05:49Are we here?
01:05:59Yes.
01:06:00As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:07Piper, sweetie, wake up.
01:06:09We're home.
01:06:14How can she just walk away?
01:06:19Don't forget you have to meet my mom.
01:06:25It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:27Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:30You promised.
01:06:32Eva, I haven't asked you for much.
01:06:34Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:38Alright, fine.
01:06:39When?
01:06:41Two days.
01:06:42I'll come pick you up.
01:06:44No need.
01:06:45Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:06:49I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:06:58So don't give up.
01:06:59Okay, daddy?
01:07:01Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:02If there's one thing you should know about your daddy,
01:07:04I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:19If you find a man that you're trying to say I lose the truth.
01:07:22It's the truth.
01:07:23It's the truth.
01:07:26Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:27Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:30Boss?
01:07:32Boss?
01:07:36Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:39I need to go win back my family.
01:07:42Family?
01:07:43Boss, you okay?
01:07:44Never better.
01:07:47Go get her, Max.
01:07:51Give it your best smile.
01:07:53Ah, there he is.
01:07:56Maximus, darling.
01:07:58I have some prospects for you.
01:08:00Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:03Oh.
01:08:08I told you.
01:08:09I already found the woman I love.
01:08:17Maximus, stop this.
01:08:19That evil woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:23Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:27You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:29No, I'm not.
01:08:32Oh?
01:08:34I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:38I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:42What?
01:08:43Oh, that's her.
01:08:57The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:02Hi, welcome in.
01:09:04Can I help you find something?
01:09:06I want to try those.
01:09:10Awesome, I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:11Are you?
01:09:14Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:19No, no, no.
01:09:20I know what I want.
01:09:22Size seven.
01:09:24Oh, baby can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:29Come on, she wants the white shoes.
01:09:35Ignore her, she's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:38Here, let me help you.
01:09:40Come on.
01:09:44She seems kind.
01:09:51I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:09:53She's just doing her job.
01:09:56How do they feel?
01:09:58Well, I love the style, but it's too small.
01:10:01I think I need a size up.
01:10:04Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:08Right away.
01:10:10I'll be right back.
01:10:12She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:14Was I wrong about her?
01:10:15Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:32Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:34She can't walk.
01:10:36She can't walk.
01:10:40That's just pure evil.
01:10:43Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:10:46She's in a wheelchair.
01:10:48Who cares?
01:10:49It's the last pair.
01:10:51I get paid commission.
01:10:52I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:10:56See?
01:10:58This is your whole problem.
01:11:01This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:04I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:08I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:09She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:13People who insult her all day?
01:11:16I'm your manager.
01:11:19Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:11:23Did I stutter?
01:11:26I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:28She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:30People who insult her all day?
01:11:33I'm your manager.
01:11:35Sell the old bitty the shoes, or you're fired.
01:11:37You don't have to fire me.
01:11:44I quit.
01:11:50I don't work here anymore.
01:11:52Listen.
01:11:54Don't buy the shoes.
01:11:56They're broken.
01:11:57Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:59You're a good person, after all.
01:12:02Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:04I'm sorry?
01:12:07Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:10Get out!
01:12:16You're not disabled?
01:12:18Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:22Absolutely shameful.
01:12:24Who are you?
01:12:25I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group, and the owner of this store.
01:12:32You're Eleanor Harrison, mother of the CEO?
01:12:36I am.
01:12:37And you, my dear, are fired.
01:12:41What did I do?
01:12:45You are a good person.
01:12:47From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:12:54Are you serious?
01:12:56That's right.
01:12:58Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:01You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:10You, out.
01:13:12I'll leave.
01:13:13I'm leaving.
01:13:16I...
01:13:18I...
01:13:20I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:23No.
01:13:24Don't worry.
01:13:26You're getting a promotion.
01:13:28You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:31First assignment.
01:13:33I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:13:40Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:13:43Okay.
01:13:46Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:13:50I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:13:52She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:02Of course she lives like this.
01:14:13Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:15I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:19Max?
01:14:20Eva?
01:14:21What are you doing here?
01:14:23I, uh...
01:14:25There you are, Eva!
01:14:27Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:31My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:33What are you...
01:14:37That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:14:42Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:44Stop!
01:14:46And you, you lied to me at the store!
01:14:48You were both just testing me?
01:14:51Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:54I'm sorry, Eva.
01:14:55I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:14:59But I was wrong.
01:15:01Eva, please.
01:15:02I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:04Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:15:07How could you think that of me?
01:15:08It's not like that, dear.
01:15:10Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:13Mom!
01:15:14What did you do?
01:15:16I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:18We're not together.
01:15:20And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:22I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:26What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:27Go after her!
01:15:29Eva.
01:15:31Let me go!
01:15:32I swear, it's not what you think!
01:15:34We come from two completely different worlds.
01:15:35Stop pretending like you care!
01:15:36I'm not pretending!
01:15:38Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:15:39In everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:15:42Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:15:46Max, you came.
01:15:47God, you are driving me fucking insane.
01:15:50I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:15:52Just say the word.
01:15:53See?
01:15:54Stop fighting.
01:15:56We belong together.
01:15:57You're wrong?
01:15:58Max, you came.
01:16:00God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:04I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:08Just say the word.
01:16:12See?
01:16:14Stop fighting.
01:16:17We belong together.
01:16:20You're wrong.
01:16:22Wrong about what?
01:16:24That you care?
01:16:25Or we belong together?
01:16:27Look, I already told you.
01:16:29We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:31Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:16:35I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:16:40Eva.
01:16:44Eva!
01:16:44Eva!
01:16:46I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:16:48Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:16:50Ow!
01:16:58Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:00Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:02Come here.
01:17:11No, you're not fine.
01:17:12You're sad.
01:17:13I want Max to be my real daddy.
01:17:28Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:31I'm a bug.
01:17:32You're right.
01:17:35What am I doing?
01:17:36Running like a coward?
01:17:39I've always taught you to be brave.
01:17:42Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:17:45I believe in you.
01:17:47What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:17:49I know exactly what to say to him.
01:17:54Maximus deserves to know.
01:17:55Piper is his daughter.
01:18:03Enough sulking.
01:18:05Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:09Don't you think I want to?
01:18:11She doesn't want me.
01:18:13I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:15Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:16You can't abandon her.
01:18:18Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:20I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:22And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:27What are you talking about?
01:18:28I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:32Piper is your daughter.
01:18:34What?
01:18:35See for yourself.
01:18:42I was right.
01:18:43Seven years ago.
01:18:46New Year's, that woman was evil.
01:18:52Eva.
01:18:58Eva.
01:19:00Hey.
01:19:02Daddy.
01:19:04Daddy.
01:19:05Piper.
01:19:07I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:15You came back.
01:19:17I, uh...
01:19:20Don't forget to be bright, Mommy.
01:19:30I, uh...
01:19:32I was scared.
01:19:33But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:19:36Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:19:41Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:19:44I have something to tell you, too.
01:19:47Piper is your daughter.
01:19:50You knew.
01:19:52My sweet granddaughter.
01:19:54Grandma.
01:19:55Oh.
01:19:58Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:20:00But you've known this whole time?
01:20:02I was scared.
01:20:04Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:06I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:09How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:11I don't know.
01:20:17I love you, Eva.
01:20:25I love you, too.
01:20:27I promise.
01:20:29For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:33As long as we're together,
01:20:34it doesn't matter where we are.
01:20:36Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:49For real this time?
01:20:50Yeah, yes.
01:20:52Yes, of course I'll marry you.
01:20:58Yes.
01:20:58Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas,
01:21:08and the Christmas after that,
01:21:10and forever.
01:21:13I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:20Who's that?
01:21:22Eva!
01:21:23Take me back!
01:21:28I'm sorry!
01:21:29I'm sorry, you're tired!
01:21:33Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:21:36Again.
01:21:39No?
01:21:40Not funny?
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