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00:00:00The End
00:01:48Good afternoon, Mrs. Bolton.
00:01:50Good afternoon, Greg.
00:01:59Good afternoon, Mr. Holmes.
00:02:00Hello, Bill.
00:02:05Good afternoon.
00:02:19Good afternoon.
00:02:24Good afternoon, Mr. Holmes.
00:02:39No, I'm sorry, I can't talk about it now.
00:02:42No, no, I'm expecting a long distance call.
00:02:44Well, phone me in the morning.
00:02:46Around 11.
00:02:47Right, right, thanks.
00:02:48Bye.
00:02:50Paper?
00:02:51Oh, hello, darling.
00:02:52Well, how'd everything go this afternoon?
00:02:55Max's phone said we had 14 standees.
00:02:58I thought you were going to pick me up at the theater after the matinee.
00:03:02Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
00:03:03I've been waiting around for a call from Daphne.
00:03:05Oh, I got a rewrite this morning.
00:03:07She has done a fabulous job, absolutely fabulous.
00:03:09This is the part you were born for, darling.
00:03:11This is what you've been waiting for.
00:03:13I've been waiting for only one thing, a vacation, a gloriously long one.
00:03:18And until I've had it, I'm not going to do any play.
00:03:22Why don't you have a drink?
00:03:23Mike!
00:03:24That theater was simply broiling this afternoon.
00:03:27During the party scene, I thought I was going to literally suffocate.
00:03:29Yes, Mr. Bolton.
00:03:30Oh, Mike, fix a drink tray, will you?
00:03:33And put a couple of limes on it.
00:03:35Yes.
00:03:39Hello?
00:03:39Yes, yes, put her on.
00:03:42Yes.
00:03:43Yes, this is he.
00:03:45Yes, yes, I'm on the line.
00:03:48She might possibly be in the kitchen.
00:03:50She enjoys watching the cook make pies and cakes and things.
00:03:53Hello, Daphne.
00:03:54Daphne, darling, how are you?
00:03:56Yes, yes, lover girl, we've got to play this noon.
00:03:58I am mad about it.
00:04:00You've got a fantastic job.
00:04:02What a part for Lydia.
00:04:03Listen, why don't you throw some pajamas and a typewriter bag and hop a plane immediately to the farm?
00:04:08I'd love it.
00:04:09The picture I'm on finishes tomorrow.
00:04:10I've just been polishing dialogue on the set.
00:04:12And, uh, well, I was going to get out of town anyway.
00:04:16Yeah, I'm breaking it off with Tony.
00:04:18Well, somehow I never could picture you on the arm of a tough guy.
00:04:22He's not.
00:04:22He's afraid of his own agent.
00:04:24It's just that he's played so many gangster parts that it's gone to, well, for want of a better word,
00:04:29his head.
00:04:30All he does all day long is flip a half a dollar and sneer.
00:04:34Right.
00:04:35Well, let us know when you're arriving.
00:04:36Bye, Angel.
00:04:37Bye.
00:04:42Arthur.
00:04:56Dear, I thought we could have another little talk.
00:05:00Won't do you any good?
00:05:02I told you I'm not leaving here.
00:05:04I wanted you to meet a friend of mine.
00:05:06He happened to be in the neighborhood.
00:05:08This is Arthur.
00:05:11Hi.
00:05:12How do you do, my dear?
00:05:13I'm so glad to know you.
00:05:15You an angel, too?
00:05:16Of course.
00:05:17He's awful fat for an angel.
00:05:19Angels like shoes come in all sizes.
00:05:22Well, glad to have met you.
00:05:25Goodbye.
00:05:27Stubborn, inconsiderate little wraith.
00:05:29Dear Charles, you must control your temper.
00:05:32And you were sarcastic with her before.
00:05:34That's far from angelic.
00:05:35But she's been acting like this for years.
00:05:37Complete insubordination.
00:05:38Oh.
00:05:41Well, just don't stand her, Arthur.
00:05:43You promised to help me.
00:05:44Do something.
00:05:45Talk to her.
00:05:46I will, I will.
00:05:47But first, I want to be sure I have my fat straight.
00:05:51This cherub is the unborn child of the couple who live here.
00:05:55Correct.
00:05:56How long has she been waiting for birth?
00:05:58Approximately seven years.
00:06:00And you think the situation is hopeless?
00:06:02Completely.
00:06:03When she picked this couple as prospective parents,
00:06:05she selected two of the most selfish people
00:06:08that has ever been my displeasure to know.
00:06:10Of course, I mean selfish in the true sense.
00:06:13Oh, they're only too willing to help others
00:06:15as long as it costs only money.
00:06:18As for sharing time, sympathy, and happiness
00:06:20with anyone other than themselves,
00:06:25they're miserly.
00:06:29Somebody has a strange conception of angels.
00:06:34Oh, dear.
00:06:35You said I believe they were of the theater.
00:06:38Successful?
00:06:40Eminently.
00:06:41About eight years ago,
00:06:43he directed a play which received great acclaim.
00:06:47The devotees of the theater called him the genius,
00:06:50miracle man, boy wonder,
00:06:52and all the other superlatives
00:06:54which they continually bestow upon mere adequacy.
00:06:58She acted in the play.
00:06:59They met.
00:07:00He fell in love with himself,
00:07:02she fell in love with herself,
00:07:04and they were married.
00:07:06Since then, they've always been a team.
00:07:08He producing and directing the plays
00:07:10and she acting in them.
00:07:12They consider their work in the theater of importance
00:07:15equal only to cancer research.
00:07:17Well, tell me,
00:07:19are they satisfied with their marriage?
00:07:21Well, that's what they tell each other,
00:07:22but they're gradually forgetting the meaning of the word.
00:07:25Oh.
00:07:25They're beginning to get on each other's nerves
00:07:27because they have no interests
00:07:29outside their individual careers.
00:07:32Oh, the marriage can't last much longer.
00:07:34It's a shame, too.
00:07:36Fundamentally, they're worthwhile.
00:07:39To have the child, of course,
00:07:40would be the salvation of the marriage,
00:07:42but that will never happen
00:07:44because they've come to the sophisticated
00:07:46and idiotic conclusion
00:07:47that they owe themselves completely to the theater.
00:07:55if they would only realize.
00:07:59Have you changed your mind?
00:08:01Are you coming with me?
00:08:02Nope.
00:08:03I'm going to stay right here.
00:08:05Did you say your name was Arthur?
00:08:08Mm-hmm.
00:08:08And you're Charles?
00:08:10Yes.
00:08:11Who ever heard of angels with names like Charles and Arthur?
00:08:15I've heard of Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Asriel.
00:08:20A higher echelon.
00:08:21But not me, Charles, of the Northers.
00:08:24There are many things you haven't heard of.
00:08:26You're such a young soul.
00:08:27No one expects you to.
00:08:30Why don't you come over and sit down?
00:08:31Let's have a little chat.
00:08:35I'm not going to hurt you, dear.
00:08:36I'm here to help you.
00:08:45That's better.
00:08:47My, you're a lovely soul.
00:08:49A treasure.
00:08:51You'll grace, beautify, bring joy to any home.
00:08:54But I'm afraid not this one.
00:08:56No chance for you here.
00:08:57Why not?
00:08:58Simply because these two don't want children.
00:09:00But if I got born, they might change their minds.
00:09:03You see, I don't want it just for myself.
00:09:06They need me.
00:09:07They need something to hold them together.
00:09:09Something that belongs to both of them.
00:09:11Something to have fun with and fuss over.
00:09:14And get mad at, too.
00:09:15Yes, that's undoubtedly true.
00:09:17But first, you've got to be born.
00:09:19Well, that's what I've been waiting for.
00:09:21Why don't I get born?
00:09:23Well, you see, you...
00:09:35How do you think we'd better proceed?
00:09:37I suggest changing the subject.
00:09:42Well, now, dear, let's be practical.
00:09:44Do you think these people are worth all this trouble and waiting?
00:09:47Oh, yes.
00:09:48Down deep, they're really wonderful.
00:09:50I've known them for a long time.
00:09:52I was at their wedding.
00:09:54Oh, you should have been there.
00:09:56They were so happy and gay and full of life.
00:09:59I made up my mind right then.
00:10:02I wanted them for my parents.
00:10:04But you're just wanting them isn't enough.
00:10:06They've got to want you.
00:10:08And that brings up another question.
00:10:10You're not getting any younger, you know.
00:10:12If you hang around here much longer,
00:10:14and if you ever do get born, you'll be an old woman.
00:10:16Mentally, that is.
00:10:17You'll be born one of those frightening child prodigies.
00:10:19Old soul, infant body.
00:10:21Be playing Chopin masterfully at three.
00:10:24Composing at four.
00:10:26Reciting the Old Testament in Hebraic at five.
00:10:28And doing murals at six.
00:10:30Now, if that's what you want,
00:10:31if you want to be born one of those,
00:10:32all well and good,
00:10:33you just go right ahead, stay here and wait.
00:10:35Wait your silly little head off.
00:10:38Charles.
00:10:40You're resorting to sarcasm again.
00:10:42No wonder they won't give you more important assignments.
00:10:45Successful angels do not use sarcasm.
00:10:49Sometimes I wonder how you got your wings.
00:10:51I know.
00:10:53It's a weakness of mine, Arthur, but...
00:10:55Arthur, I have my own work to do,
00:10:56and if I'm willing to help you,
00:10:57the least you can do is to...
00:10:58Where are you going?
00:10:59I just remembered I've got a date.
00:11:01Well, here we go again.
00:11:02Come back here.
00:11:08Slippery little eel, isn't she?
00:11:09Yes.
00:11:10She's not around here.
00:11:11I've looked everywhere.
00:11:16Right.
00:11:17Sorry, Charles, I must go.
00:11:18Hedy Chi just called me.
00:11:19Oh, Arthur, can't wait.
00:11:20It won't take long.
00:11:21Well, please hurry.
00:11:22Won't be a minute.
00:11:34What do you mean, running away like that?
00:11:36What are you doing sitting here?
00:11:37I told you I had a date.
00:11:40Here he comes now.
00:11:44I want to trust you.
00:11:46I want to trust you.
00:11:48Hello, Joe.
00:11:50Hello.
00:11:51No luck?
00:11:51No.
00:11:52Me neither.
00:11:54Oh, I want you to meet Mr. Charles.
00:11:56He's the angel that's been wanting me to come back.
00:11:59Hello, Joe.
00:12:00How are you?
00:12:01Hello.
00:12:02I got one who's been after me, too.
00:12:05His name's Mr. Horace.
00:12:06Oh, Horace.
00:12:07A friend of mine.
00:12:08Remember me to him.
00:12:10Joe's in the same boat.
00:12:11He's been waiting for years.
00:12:13Gets monotonous, too.
00:12:15Being so close and so far all at the same time.
00:12:18He even got my name picked out, Joe.
00:12:20But, you see, my prospective father's a writer.
00:12:24Hasn't got a dime.
00:12:25Hasn't been able to sell anything.
00:12:27Until he does, well...
00:12:30Look, Joe, wouldn't it be fun to be able to taste ice cream?
00:12:34Sure would.
00:12:41Well, I better be getting back.
00:12:43He was working on a short story when I left.
00:12:46Hope it turns out good.
00:12:47Be nice if he could sell to the movies, but...
00:12:50See ya.
00:12:51Bye, Joe.
00:12:53Goodbye, Joe.
00:12:54Bye.
00:12:57Everything we've done so far, thank heaven, the critics have shouted about.
00:13:00But believe me, darling, this is the one they'll remember.
00:13:04It's wide open for me to do an entirely new kind of staging.
00:13:07And as for you, Clarice isn't just a part.
00:13:10It's a challenge.
00:13:11Until they bury the theater, it'll be known as the test of an actress's greatness.
00:13:15After she licks Juliet, and Electra, and Canada, and Lady Macbeth, and Joan.
00:13:19Well, then she'll play Clarice.
00:13:21Just to find out if she's really got it.
00:13:23There's a part that'll absolutely put...
00:13:24Oh, Jeff, stop it, please.
00:13:26That's what you said about the last play and the play before that.
00:13:30And if you must eat those vile things, please keep them at breath length.
00:13:34You know, even the odor makes me deathly ill.
00:13:38She can't stand them, but he loves them.
00:13:41I wonder what things smell and taste like, especially peanuts.
00:13:45I've often been curious myself.
00:13:48But, uh, not especially about peanuts.
00:13:55We're a little edgy tonight, aren't we?
00:13:57And with good cause, I think.
00:13:59I come home for a moment's rest between performances,
00:14:02and you keep selling me this script as if you were trying to get me to back the show.
00:14:05I merely ask you to look at it.
00:14:08There's not plenty of time for magazines.
00:14:10Daphne's beat her brains out rewriting this play.
00:14:12It seems the least you can do is to read it.
00:14:14At the moment, I am still playing a play.
00:14:17I have played it 517 times.
00:14:20I have played it with fever.
00:14:21I've played it with chills.
00:14:23I've played it with three cracked ribs and an abscessed tooth.
00:14:26And I'm exhausted.
00:14:28Completely and utterly exhausted.
00:14:31Well, in the past, no matter how tired you were,
00:14:33you couldn't wait to read your next one.
00:14:35If you must know, I'm afraid to read this one.
00:14:39Afraid?
00:14:40Yes.
00:14:42For two reasons.
00:14:43First, it might be a colossal failure.
00:14:47Oh, sweet.
00:14:48Not this one.
00:14:49It's a smash.
00:14:49Believe me.
00:14:50And that's my second reason.
00:14:51It might be a colossal success, which would be worse.
00:14:54Wait a minute, darling.
00:14:55It's true.
00:14:56What'll it give us?
00:14:58If we're lucky, we'll run for two years.
00:15:00Two years of the same day-by-day existence without purpose or meaning.
00:15:04Yes, but, darling...
00:15:04We don't know where reality begins and Poe's leaves off anymore.
00:15:08We're useless, Jack.
00:15:10Stagnant.
00:15:11Oh, come, darling.
00:15:12We need to apologize for our lives or our marriage.
00:15:16As I say, we've done an awfully good job of both.
00:15:21To us, sweet.
00:15:24And to the children we might have had.
00:15:28Look, darling, I understand completely.
00:15:31I understand how you feel.
00:15:32I want children just as much as you.
00:15:34You know that.
00:15:35But we're of the theater.
00:15:37The jealous, fickle, all-consuming theater.
00:15:41It demands our companionship, our energy, and our affection.
00:15:45And it'll never settle for 50 cents on the dollar.
00:15:47But one of these days, we'll retire in triumph and give ourselves to our children with the same devotion we're
00:15:52giving ourselves to the theater.
00:15:53Jeff, you've been saying that for...
00:15:54Oh, don't.
00:15:56I've never heard such unmitigated hogwash.
00:15:59Such stupid, selfish...
00:16:01Surely after hearing that, you don't intend to stay.
00:16:03Oh, they'll change their minds.
00:16:04I know they will.
00:16:06Never.
00:16:08Never.
00:16:08But, Mr. Charles, they change their minds about place all the time.
00:16:12So I'm sure they'll change their minds about me.
00:16:14At the very thought of children, he rationalizes you out of any possible existence.
00:16:19Feel better.
00:16:20Yes, I'm sorry I went all to pieces.
00:16:22Lately, it seems we're forever getting on each other's nerves.
00:16:24No, no.
00:16:25It was all my fault.
00:16:26Forgive me.
00:16:28I was acting like a director and not a husband.
00:16:31I should have been more sensitive.
00:16:32No, I was the difficult one.
00:16:34You were right.
00:16:34I can see it now.
00:16:35You just lie here and take it easy.
00:16:37I'm going up to change.
00:16:38Where's the script?
00:16:39On the coffee table.
00:16:40I might as well start reading it.
00:16:42Good.
00:16:42We'll talk about it tonight.
00:16:43And first thing in the morning, I'll go out and dig me up a nice, juicy angel.
00:16:48A man's an idiot.
00:16:52There's no such thing as a juicy angel, and they're definitely not dug up.
00:16:58He didn't mean angels like you.
00:17:00He meant angels with money.
00:17:02Somebody to back the show.
00:17:03Oh, I see.
00:17:05Wait a minute.
00:17:06This gives me an idea.
00:17:08I think I found the solution.
00:17:09My orders say settle the case.
00:17:11That does not necessarily mean I have to bring you back.
00:17:14There is another way to settle the case.
00:17:15How, Mr. Charles?
00:17:17How?
00:17:17I'm going to materialize, become human for a time, meet these two holdouts, and make them
00:17:22see the limitless joys of parenthood.
00:17:24I'm going to get you born, you little doll.
00:17:27Oh, Mr. Charles, can you do it?
00:17:29Really?
00:17:30I'm sure I can.
00:17:32You see, I should become this juicy angel your future daddy is going to dig up tomorrow.
00:17:36But he likes them with money.
00:17:38That's easy, Alison, to make him think I have money.
00:17:41My dear humans do it every day.
00:17:43Now, where does he meet these people, and what exactly do these dug up characters look
00:17:46and act like?
00:17:48Well, the last 20 minutes at the racetrack, and they're going there tomorrow.
00:17:54You could meet him there.
00:17:55He's superstitious.
00:17:56He'd think it was an omen.
00:17:58So I'm sure...
00:17:58No, no, no.
00:17:59Don't rush things.
00:18:01What did he look like?
00:18:02Well, he was tall and had a big cattle ranch way out west.
00:18:06And he talked and walked and looked.
00:18:08Wait a minute.
00:18:10Come on, I can hear just what he was like.
00:18:12Come on.
00:18:12Come on.
00:18:13Oh, home on the rains, where the deer and the antelope play.
00:18:23Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day.
00:18:33Of course, you'll realize that if you're successful with our project, you won't be this lucky.
00:18:37After you're born, you'll have to pay to get in.
00:18:39It'll be worth it.
00:18:40Hmm.
00:18:48Come along.
00:19:13Ladies and gentlemen, the horses are on the track for the running of the first race.
00:19:19Now, let's see.
00:19:20Who do you like?
00:19:21I like, uh, El Shribo.
00:19:24El Shribo.
00:19:25El Shribo.
00:19:26Now, let's see.
00:19:28El Shribo.
00:19:29El Shribo.
00:19:30No, I don't think so, dear.
00:19:31He has a very bad jockey, R. Klune.
00:19:33Never won a race.
00:19:34Psst, psst.
00:19:47But look, dear.
00:19:48This man says, oh, for heaven's sake.
00:19:55Here you are, ma'am.
00:19:57That was the strangest thing.
00:19:59Perfectly still, and then that sudden gust of wind.
00:20:03I'll see by your program you got number three marked down as your choice.
00:20:06I kind of cut him to number seven myself.
00:20:09Number seven?
00:20:10Well, I hadn't even considered that one.
00:20:13And you better not.
00:20:14He hasn't a chance.
00:20:15Don't listen to this guy.
00:20:16He's probably out of town.
00:20:24Ladies and gentlemen, the horses will reach the starting gate in five minutes.
00:21:08It's Uncle Bill in front.
00:21:09By seven length.
00:21:10Melisa's second and a half length.
00:21:12Marmack is back five lengths.
00:21:14They're coming down to the line of the road with Uncle Bill in front.
00:21:17Winning it easily.
00:21:18My eight length.
00:21:19Melisa's second and Marmack will stay.
00:21:24Want it just as easy as roping a fence post.
00:21:27And he'll pay close to $20, too.
00:21:30Who do you like in the second?
00:21:33Well, ma'am, I'll sort of be the roly-poly at number nine.
00:21:39He was just lucky this race.
00:21:41Roly-poly won't be close.
00:21:45It's tiny, Tim, and roly-poly.
00:21:47Roly-poly on the inside.
00:21:48Tiny, Tim, and the inside.
00:21:49Come on, Danny.
00:21:50Come on, he's going to do it.
00:21:51Come on, boy.
00:21:52Come on, Danny.
00:21:53Come on, Tim.
00:21:54He did it.
00:21:55Rolling, foly a second.
00:21:56You see, I told you tiny, Tim, and do it.
00:21:58Well, number nine ran second anyway.
00:22:01Oh, I wouldn't tear up that ticket, ma'am, if I was you.
00:22:05I think you'll find that you...
00:22:06Your attention, please.
00:22:07Your attention, please.
00:22:09A foul has been claimed.
00:22:11Do not destroy your pari-mutual ticket.
00:22:22Your attention, please.
00:22:24Your attention, please.
00:22:26Ladies and gentlemen, tiny, Tim, number three, has been disqualified.
00:22:32The official result now appears on the total Iseda boy.
00:22:45Care to join us?
00:22:46Thanks, partner.
00:22:48Admire to.
00:22:56Excuse me, sir.
00:22:57My name is Bolton.
00:23:00Well, here we are, Mr. Charles.
00:23:02Just make yourself at home, Mr. Charles.
00:23:03We'll be right down.
00:23:04No cause for rushing, ma'am.
00:23:05Won't be a minute.
00:23:06Okay, partner.
00:23:07Okay, okay.
00:23:08Oh.
00:23:20Oh, Mr. Charles, you're wonderful.
00:23:22You look and act just perfect.
00:23:25There's only one difficulty.
00:23:26These high heels are killing.
00:23:28Good evening, Charles.
00:23:31Arthur, I didn't expect you...
00:23:34Why in the name of heaven are you here?
00:23:36In the name of heaven.
00:23:37I want to talk to you.
00:23:39Perhaps we'd better go out on the balcony.
00:23:41If they should come down and see you talking to thin air,
00:23:43they'll think you're crazy.
00:23:50Remember, you're human now.
00:23:52You've got to open them.
00:23:59Don't...
00:23:59me.
00:24:01I'll learn.
00:24:02I'll learn.
00:24:04After all, you know,
00:24:04you didn't fly so well the first time.
00:24:06Charles.
00:24:08In the long time I've known you,
00:24:10you've done many foolish things,
00:24:11but this is undoubtedly the most idiotic.
00:24:14To the contrary.
00:24:15I think it was a brilliant idea on my part.
00:24:17But you don't know what you're letting yourself in for.
00:24:19Taking on flesh is not easy.
00:24:21Nonsense.
00:24:22Human beings do it,
00:24:23and you know what morons they are.
00:24:24But they've had experience.
00:24:25You'll find many temptations and...
00:24:27My dear Arthur, please don't worry.
00:24:29I'm completely capable of coping with temptation.
00:24:32Well, just in case you're overestimating your ability,
00:24:34I've been assigned to keep an eye on you.
00:24:35Well, Mr. Charles,
00:24:36I think they're looking for you.
00:24:38Hmm.
00:24:40See you later.
00:24:40I'll be around,
00:24:42just in case.
00:24:43Nice view.
00:24:44Sure is.
00:24:45A mighty fine shack you got here, partner.
00:24:47Well, thanks.
00:24:47It's comfortable.
00:24:48How many rooms?
00:24:49Seven.
00:24:50Big family, I suppose.
00:24:52No, just Mrs. Bolton, myself.
00:24:54And, of course, Lynn and Alfred.
00:24:55Huh?
00:24:57Oh, yeah.
00:25:00Seems kind of simple wasting all this space
00:25:01and always entertaining the notion
00:25:04big shacks and big families kind of run together.
00:25:07Nothing more joyful than having a full house,
00:25:09whether it be poker or family.
00:25:11That's right.
00:25:11Fix your drink?
00:25:12Thanks, partner.
00:25:13No, don't mind if I do.
00:25:15Charles?
00:25:35No, no, no, never touch the stuff.
00:25:41I'm so very sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Charles.
00:25:45I'm so very sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Charles.
00:25:46When I see you like that, ma'am,
00:25:48strikes me you're well worth waiting for.
00:25:51You dear man.
00:25:53Just think, Jeff,
00:25:54if it hadn't been for that sudden puff of wind,
00:25:56we probably never would have met this divine person.
00:25:58And I like to think of that sudden puff as an angel's breath.
00:26:04Yep.
00:26:05Lucky for me, too,
00:26:07because I take to you both like sick kittens to warm bricks, ma'am.
00:26:12What a delightful way to put it.
00:26:15And I adore you calling me ma'am,
00:26:17but do make it Lydia.
00:26:18And Jeff.
00:26:19Admire, too.
00:26:22Westerners have such colorful nicknames.
00:26:24I was wondering why...
00:26:25Ah.
00:26:26I sometimes been called Slim.
00:26:30Somehow I felt it would be Slim.
00:26:33The name's so, so friendly.
00:26:36May I call you Slim?
00:26:38Admire, haven't you?
00:26:42You play the harp, uh, Lydia?
00:26:44No, not really.
00:26:45I used it once in a show.
00:26:47I pick at it occasionally.
00:26:50Hmm.
00:26:51What do you play, Slim?
00:26:54Little.
00:27:15Why, Slim, that's heavenly.
00:27:19It's so incongruous seeing cowboy boots behind a harp.
00:27:23Back home, we got plenty of them.
00:27:25More harps than a gopher has ticks.
00:27:27Where are you from, Slim?
00:27:29God's country.
00:27:30And I'll bet you're a rancher.
00:27:33What do you handle?
00:27:33Well, sheep.
00:27:35Big flock.
00:27:37Powerful big.
00:27:38How many acres you got, Slim?
00:27:40Never counted them.
00:27:42Here on business?
00:27:44Big deal.
00:27:45Tough, too.
00:27:47Tougher than a 30-cent steak.
00:27:49Well, if there's anything we can do to help you, Slim, just sing out.
00:27:52I'm liable to.
00:27:54Real liable.
00:27:55You know, Lydia, Slim reminds me so much of, uh, of Henry.
00:28:00He was also a big cattleman.
00:28:01Come to think of it, I met him at the track, too, didn't I?
00:28:04All we became great friends, did a show together.
00:28:06He made himself a tidy sum out of it.
00:28:08I reckon if you pick the right play, show business can be your right good investment.
00:28:12It certainly can.
00:28:13Of course, it's a terrific gamble.
00:28:15Shucks.
00:28:16Oh, ho.
00:28:16Our gamble before, Lydia.
00:28:18It just so happens we were getting ready to do a new play written by Daphne Peters.
00:28:22She did our last.
00:28:23But this is more than a play.
00:28:25It's, uh, it's an experience in the theater.
00:28:28You might even say it's a reflection of life.
00:28:31Isn't that right, dear?
00:28:33Oh, it's magnificent.
00:28:34I'd like to read it myself.
00:28:36Think you might be interested in joining up with us, Slim?
00:28:40No harm talking about it.
00:28:44Say, I just got a thought.
00:28:46You know, we're going down to our farm for the weekend and Daphne's meeting us there.
00:28:50Why don't you join us, Slim, and we can all sort of kick it around together.
00:28:54Admire, too.
00:28:54Thanks for your hospitality.
00:28:58Who knows?
00:28:59Someday we may go west.
00:29:01I'm sure you will.
00:29:04Everybody does.
00:29:07Oh, Mike.
00:29:08Yes, sir?
00:29:08Better bring some more cat food.
00:29:10Yes, sir.
00:29:14Of course, it's not large compared to your ranch.
00:29:16It's only 35 acres.
00:29:17But, oh, Mike, did you remember to bring the records?
00:29:19Yes, ma'am.
00:29:20I wouldn't dream of going away without Tchaikovsky.
00:29:22Mighty fine man.
00:29:24I agree.
00:29:29Mr. Arthur, aren't you going to ride down with us?
00:29:32No, thanks.
00:29:32I think I'll fly.
00:29:37I'll fly.
00:29:37I think I'll fly.
00:30:11It's even prettier than last year.
00:30:15Oh, when I get born, it's going to be so nice to come here.
00:30:18I bet you it's the peaches thing you've ever seen.
00:30:21It's such a beautiful farm, isn't it?
00:30:23Farm?
00:30:24No self-respecting radish would grow here.
00:30:26This used to be a useful dairy.
00:30:28Now look at it.
00:30:30I wonder what they've done with a pig pen.
00:30:32Made a bar out of it.
00:30:33Then you stay away from the pig pen.
00:30:39My host.
00:30:40And I have an idea of what he's working up to.
00:30:43Uh-uh.
00:30:45Almost forgot.
00:30:49Hiya, partner.
00:30:50Well, hello, Slim.
00:30:52Just came in to see if you were comfortable.
00:30:54Yeah, just as cozy as a little old tick on a sheep's back.
00:30:57Good, good.
00:30:59Uh, Slim, I, uh, naturally don't want to appear to be rushing things, but you said you read the play
00:31:04last night and liked it.
00:31:05It's got more excitement than a rodeo.
00:31:07Well, so I'd like to get things sort of started, you know, arrange for a theater, get a scenic designer,
00:31:12post the equity bar.
00:31:13You just go right ahead.
00:31:16Well, that's where you come in.
00:31:18Of course, I won't need it all right now, just 20 or 30,000.
00:31:22Is that all?
00:31:24Well, as soon as we get back to New York, I'll go by the bank and...
00:31:28Why bother?
00:31:29Just write me a check.
00:31:32Doggone.
00:31:33Thanks for reminding me.
00:31:34I knew there was something I forgot to bring along.
00:31:37Yeah, what was that?
00:31:39My checkbook.
00:31:40Oh, I have plenty of blank checks in the house.
00:31:42My trouble is, I wouldn't know which account to draw it on, but I'll be talking to my partner for
00:31:47long, and we'll figure it out.
00:31:49Right nice little old rent you got here, partner.
00:31:51As soon as you get my saddlebag unpacked, I'd like to look around.
00:31:54I'm not obliged for dropping in.
00:31:56I'm mighty comfortable.
00:31:57Yep.
00:32:10Well, I've talked to him a half a dozen times, but he keeps worming out of it and stalling me.
00:32:14Have you tried leaving a blank check under his dinner plate?
00:32:16No, but believe it or not, I tucked one in the corner of his shaving mirror.
00:32:19What happened?
00:32:20Nothing.
00:32:20It's still there.
00:32:22I thought maybe if you'd talk to him, Daphne, and sort of...
00:32:25Oh, so that's the gazipe.
00:32:28Well, after all, my dear, it's your play.
00:32:32Okay, I'll go to work on him.
00:32:35I wonder what approach I should use this time.
00:32:38Well, the one you've got on is all right.
00:32:43How do you like Pennsylvania, Mr. Charles?
00:32:45The only thing you'll miss around here is the cactus.
00:32:48Mighty part of the cactus, ma'am.
00:32:49There you are.
00:32:57Thank you, Mr. Charles.
00:32:58You're welcome, ma'am.
00:33:00Of course, my friends call me Slim.
00:33:05I was hoping we could be more than just friends, Slim.
00:33:09I hope so, too.
00:33:12Oh, God.
00:33:14You smell sweeter than a field of clover.
00:33:16That ain't hay, is it?
00:33:18No, ma'am.
00:33:19Hay's something else again.
00:33:20Oh, skip it, Slim.
00:33:22Shall I see you for cocktails?
00:33:25That might be...
00:33:27Uh, yep.
00:33:29Oh, Slim.
00:33:30Yes, ma'am.
00:33:31Don't you think you'd better leave those here?
00:33:33Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
00:33:36Excuse me.
00:33:37I'll take...
00:33:40Bye.
00:33:41Bye.
00:33:46Bye.
00:33:54Oh, hello, Arthur.
00:33:56Enjoying yourself?
00:33:58Oh, yes.
00:33:59The strangest feeling is creeping through me.
00:34:02It's a warm, tingling sensation.
00:34:06What from?
00:34:09You better run along and play someplace.
00:34:11But why is he tingling?
00:34:14Well, run along, dear.
00:34:16Run along.
00:34:23Really, Charles, I'm terribly disappointed in you.
00:34:26So am I.
00:34:27And a little worried.
00:34:29Arthur.
00:34:33Do you remember the first time you tried your wings?
00:34:35Mm-hmm.
00:34:36Do you recall that delightful, titillating sensation as you left the ground at...
00:34:43Well, that's it.
00:34:44It's love.
00:34:45A feeling you must not feel again.
00:34:48It's the one temptation above all others you must resist.
00:34:51I know it.
00:34:51And that's what I said to myself as I stood next to her.
00:34:54I said,
00:34:55Charles, this is not very angelic of you.
00:34:58And then a tiny voice inside of me said,
00:35:01So what?
00:35:03You see, the spirit was unwilling, but the flesh was weak.
00:35:06Very human trait.
00:35:08And the solution is to stop it before you start.
00:35:11Perhaps I can help you in this.
00:35:14It...
00:35:15You see these bluebells?
00:35:18Yes.
00:35:19If at any time I feel you are succumbing to temptation,
00:35:23I'll ring one of them.
00:35:25Like this.
00:35:28Thank you, Arthur.
00:35:29That'll be an excellent reminder.
00:35:32Right now, sir.
00:35:33Body of lens you got here, partner.
00:35:34Oh, thanks, Liam.
00:35:35Hello there.
00:35:36Howdy, ma'am.
00:35:36How about a drink before dinner?
00:35:38Well, I reckon one little old drink ain't going to...
00:35:44Well, on second thought, though,
00:35:46I reckon I'd better skip it for now.
00:35:49Well, just as you say.
00:35:50Slim,
00:35:51Daphne and I were just going over the script.
00:35:54And we...
00:35:54Well, as the bull said,
00:35:55he sunk his horns in the cowboy's seat.
00:35:57Hope he ain't intruding.
00:35:59On the contrary.
00:36:00We want to talk to you.
00:36:01Yeah, it's just sort of formulating our production plans.
00:36:04Yeah, I reckon a venture like this takes a lot of formulating.
00:36:07Oh, it certainly does.
00:36:08It certainly does.
00:36:09You know, Slim,
00:36:09there are a lot of things to be talked over.
00:36:12Leases, contracts, that sort of thing.
00:36:14A lot of considering to be done.
00:36:16Have some peanuts.
00:36:17Thanks.
00:36:17I practically have to keep them locked up, Lydia.
00:36:19Can't stand them.
00:36:21Mmm.
00:36:22I'm not a taste there.
00:36:23Why don't you sit down, Slim?
00:36:25I'm not a...
00:36:26You know, Slim,
00:36:27unless a person's experienced in the theater,
00:36:29he very often doesn't realize
00:36:31the tremendous financial return
00:36:32that's possible with a good play.
00:36:35Oh, it's very often.
00:36:36And this is a good play.
00:36:37I reckon you ought to know.
00:36:40After all, you wrote it.
00:36:41It's bound to be a smash
00:36:42because it's built around a character
00:36:44with whom everyone will feel
00:36:45a personal identification.
00:36:47Would you like me to explain to you
00:36:49how I see this character?
00:36:51I'm my or two.
00:36:52You mind if it's...
00:36:53Here, I'll catch that.
00:36:54It's all right, partner.
00:36:55I'll get the monsieur.
00:37:00Say, Slim, excuse me.
00:37:02I'm going to get some fresh peanuts.
00:37:03These are just a bit soggy.
00:37:05So is this cigarette.
00:37:07Slim, sit down.
00:37:10Thank you, ma'am.
00:37:12Oh, no.
00:37:14Over here, beside me.
00:37:18Admire, too.
00:37:23Way over there.
00:37:31Afraid I'm going to bite you.
00:37:33Shucks.
00:37:34Ain't a scare to being bit.
00:37:36I'm not kind of like it.
00:37:40Yep.
00:37:46Come on, a little closer.
00:37:52Come on.
00:37:57Slim, what is the matter?
00:37:59It's just when I get close to you,
00:38:01I hear bells ringing.
00:38:03Well, if Muhammad won't come to the mountain...
00:38:07The way I see this character,
00:38:08she isn't an evil woman.
00:38:10She's...
00:38:10Well, she's...
00:38:12She's just a woman.
00:38:14Warm.
00:38:16Appealing.
00:38:19Inviting.
00:38:20Exciting.
00:38:23Sure is.
00:38:26Hair of pure honey.
00:38:28Yes.
00:38:28She could be played that way.
00:38:31Ripe as a norum plum.
00:38:33That she is.
00:38:35Hello, lover boy.
00:38:38Need a little fresh air.
00:38:52Arthur, I wish you'd stop popping in and out of places.
00:38:55And I wish you'd stop mixing business with pleasure.
00:38:57You came here for a purpose.
00:38:59I was going to talk to Lydia, but I couldn't find her.
00:39:01She's sitting over there under the tree.
00:39:03As you can see, I've arranged with Hedekiah
00:39:05for a parade of motherhood.
00:39:08Hmm.
00:39:09Very touching.
00:39:11I'm sure she's ripe for a few well-chosen words.
00:39:14Yes.
00:39:15Yes.
00:39:16This will make my task much easier.
00:39:18Good.
00:39:31Be fruitful and multiply and replenish.
00:39:35Here.
00:39:39Ain't it a joy you're watching them heeding the good word?
00:39:46At first it filled me with peace and contentment.
00:39:49And then I was overcome with a great sadness.
00:39:52In what way, Lydia?
00:39:54I was looking back over my career and my life.
00:39:56And I thought, if I should die at this moment,
00:40:00what would I leave behind?
00:40:01A few volumes of critical acclaim.
00:40:04Quite a few, as a matter of fact.
00:40:07But nothing else.
00:40:09For a time, I'd be remembered for my artistry.
00:40:12But then what?
00:40:14That's right.
00:40:15There wouldn't be no one appearing your name.
00:40:17No one has stolen down life's highway who was a part of you.
00:40:21No son or daughter to even write about.
00:40:24Things like, I remember Mama and life with Mama.
00:40:30It ain't too late, Lydia.
00:40:32No, but too soon.
00:40:33Jeff and I decided the theater was our whole life.
00:40:37Don't you reckon that's sort of selfish of you?
00:40:40Here you are enjoying all the wonders in nature,
00:40:43and yet you're depriving somebody else of the chance to enjoy him too.
00:40:48You're right, Slim.
00:40:49So completely right.
00:40:52Slim, there's something I think you should know.
00:40:55Our marriage hasn't been too successful.
00:40:57We've had trial separations, but nothing seems to work.
00:41:01Look, I'm afraid it's headed for the rocks.
00:41:04Now, don't you think such a thing.
00:41:06You've just got to make a go of it for, oh, for a lot of reasons.
00:41:11If you don't, you'll be regretting it all the rest of your life.
00:41:14And I will too, Lydia.
00:41:16You've got to do everything to make your marriage solid and strong.
00:41:20I must talk this over with Jeff.
00:41:22I wouldn't.
00:41:23But after all, he's the...
00:41:25Look at that you and that lamb out there.
00:41:29Ain't that a picture for you?
00:41:31That you's found the meaning of the life.
00:41:34She's found satisfaction and contentment.
00:41:37But if she talked it over with her husband first,
00:41:40the only conclusion they'd arrived at was,
00:41:43well, it wasn't worthwhile.
00:41:45He'd have said,
00:41:47what's the use, dear?
00:41:48The children will just wind up as a leg of lamb on somebody's table.
00:41:54So they didn't talk it over.
00:41:58Pretty sensible way to handle it, too.
00:42:00Oh, Slim.
00:42:02Bless you.
00:42:03Bless you.
00:42:05Bless you.
00:42:27Matt.
00:42:29Hello, darling.
00:42:31Matt.
00:42:49If they break up, Arthur, we're ruined.
00:42:51We have to help it along.
00:42:54Perhaps as a starter, the subtle and delightful scent of flowers bathed in moonlight would
00:43:00serve our purpose.
00:43:02Yes.
00:43:19Being the only one present capable of feeling mortal sensations, you'll have to guide me a bit.
00:43:24Yes, Arthur, we'll let my flesh be the thermometer, so to speak.
00:43:29And now I think a warm and gentle breeze might be helpful.
00:43:46Wish I had my hat.
00:43:47I'm misplaced it somewhere.
00:43:50Arthur, I didn't say a hurricane.
00:43:54Is that better?
00:43:57That better?
00:44:01Good luck.
00:44:23I did not say a hurricane.
00:44:24No, I didn't say a hurricane.
00:44:25Please.
00:44:25Yeah, sir.
00:45:57I want to see you and the missus arriving on the 10 o'clock.
00:46:02Can you meet me, Tex?
00:46:05Did you get that?
00:46:06Yes, yes, I got it.
00:46:09Who do you suppose is on his way down here?
00:46:11Tex.
00:46:12I have to meet him.
00:46:13Tex?
00:46:13Hmm.
00:46:15Tex Henry, the guy that backed the last show.
00:46:16Oh, muscle man.
00:46:18Now, don't tell me I have to work on him, too.
00:46:19No, my darling.
00:46:20You just work on Little Slim.
00:46:22No show ever suffered from having too much money.
00:46:25No, but playwrights can suffer from too many bankers.
00:46:29Oh, good morning.
00:46:31Good morning.
00:46:32Tell Mike we starved.
00:46:33We've been riding since six.
00:46:38Good morning, creep along.
00:46:41Good morning.
00:46:42Good morning.
00:46:49Good morning.
00:46:51Good morning.
00:47:12Let's go.
00:47:22Something I can do for you, sir.
00:47:24Oh, uh, Miss Peter's here.
00:47:28Uh, yes, sir.
00:47:30She, uh, she's in the bar.
00:47:31Who, who shall I say is calling?
00:47:33You don't say nobody's calling, see?
00:47:36I'm a friend of hers, see?
00:47:38I'll find her.
00:47:39Yes, sir.
00:47:40Wait a minute.
00:47:42A change of a dollar?
00:47:44I, I, I think so, sir.
00:47:47I'll just take the half.
00:47:49Keep the rest.
00:47:51Thank you, sir.
00:47:52Wait a minute.
00:47:53Just lost a half a buck here.
00:47:56If you find it, remember, it's mine.
00:48:00Yes, sir.
00:48:05That's why this play means so much to me.
00:48:07It'll break my heart if it isn't produced.
00:48:10Well, I certainly wouldn't do one little old thing to cause you to be vexed, sugar.
00:48:15Oh, you're sweet.
00:48:17I know Jeff's hesitant about asking him.
00:48:19I don't mean to rush things, but...
00:48:21Get your coat.
00:48:23Oh, it's the menace.
00:48:25What are you doing here?
00:48:26I came east to settle a tax beef.
00:48:29Thought I'd drop by and pick you up, see?
00:48:32Get your coat.
00:48:33Who are you?
00:48:34Don't be scared, Slim.
00:48:36This is strictly B-movie tough stuff.
00:48:41Are you coming or do I have to drag you out of here?
00:48:45Haven't they sent you a new script yet?
00:48:47That was from your last picture.
00:48:53I wouldn't try to molest the little lady, mister, if I was you.
00:48:58Out of my way, stupid.
00:49:00When you say that, stranger, smile.
00:49:04If you want to collect your old age pension, you better not start nothing, see?
00:49:08Now, I ain't a-looking for trouble, stranger, but...
00:49:12if trouble comes a-looking for me, I won't be hard to find.
00:49:17Tough, huh?
00:49:19When I'm riled.
00:49:21Yeah?
00:49:23Yeah.
00:49:24Yeah.
00:49:26Look, if you're thinking of getting tough, this shiv ain't no butter knife, see?
00:49:33And just remember, stranger, I don't scare easy.
00:49:38I reckon you'll find it healthy around here if you put that toad stabber away.
00:49:45I'll keep it just in case, see?
00:49:49I got a feeling this place ain't big enough for both of us.
00:49:54So you better take your saddlebag and git, and I wouldn't be a-trying to cut no buttons off my
00:50:00shirt, stranger.
00:50:08I'll get even with you for this, see?
00:50:09Beautiful, Slim.
00:50:09Gary Cooper couldn't have done it any better.
00:50:12That's who I learned it from.
00:50:13Well, I'll get even with you for this, see?
00:50:18Hmm.
00:50:26Now, if you want to act peaceful, like stranger, you're welcome around here.
00:50:33But I'd advise you not to get ornery again, or I'm allowable to get really riled.
00:50:48Lydia, Daphne, Tex is here.
00:50:50Uh-oh.
00:50:51If he picks a fight with this guy, he'll get killed.
00:50:54Well, Tex, it's mighty good to see you.
00:50:56You're looking like a million.
00:50:57Lydia will be down in the sack of tax.
00:51:03Just a minute.
00:51:06So now you're going around knocking people down.
00:51:12He pulled a knife on me.
00:51:15Nobody gets away with that.
00:51:17You've succumbed to pride, vanity, appetites of the flesh, and now brutality.
00:51:22Thank heaven you haven't got any money.
00:51:24You'd be impossible.
00:51:25Don't worry about me.
00:51:27I can take care of myself.
00:51:29See?
00:51:32How are you, sweetheart?
00:51:34Miss Shakespeare, the greatest little actress in the whole world.
00:51:38I've been a hankering to squeeze you both again.
00:51:43There's an osteopath in the house.
00:51:45Ah, it's good to see you, Tex.
00:51:46This is Tony Clark.
00:51:48Well, howdy.
00:51:49And this is...
00:51:49Hey, you're in the movie Pictures, ain't you?
00:51:53Yeah, that's me.
00:51:54Well, doggone.
00:51:55Now, I never expected to meet a real live movie actor.
00:52:00I wonder.
00:52:01Now, I know folks pester you a lot, and I hate to ask you this, Mr. Clark.
00:52:05Oh, it's no bother.
00:52:05Whatever happened to Hoot Gibson?
00:52:07Tex?
00:52:08He was a favorite of mine.
00:52:11And this is Slim Charles, Tex McCord, Slim.
00:52:14Howdy, Tex.
00:52:15Well, and a great big howdy to you, Slim.
00:52:18Well, Slim, so you're the critter who snuck into my corral when I wasn't a-lookin'.
00:52:23I reckon you must have roped the wrong steer, Tex.
00:52:26Don't quite get your meaning.
00:52:27Oh, he's talking about backing the show, Slim.
00:52:29Yeah.
00:52:30Turn my back, and somebody else puts their brand on my cattle.
00:52:35But Jeff tried desperately to get in touch with you, Tex.
00:52:38Yeah, I know.
00:52:38He said he sent me some wires, but shucks, Lydia, I was in Paris.
00:52:42Oh, wow.
00:52:44Tex, you mean you'd like to put up the money for this show, too?
00:52:47Sure would.
00:52:48Much as they want.
00:52:49You know, I've been sort of crazy about the theater ever since I saw Lady's Night in a Turkish bath.
00:52:55But I guess there's no use hopin'.
00:52:57You beat me to it.
00:52:58More power to you, Slim.
00:53:00Oh, no, no, no.
00:53:01I reckon back in the last room, you sort of staked out a claim.
00:53:04Now, I ain't no claim jumper, so you go right ahead.
00:53:06It's all yours.
00:53:08No, sir.
00:53:09Now, you see here, Slim, if I don't work my claim, I deserve to lose it.
00:53:13If I took it, I can never live with myself, Tex.
00:53:16I'd feel like I'd done it when your back was turned.
00:53:18Now, I don't want to hear another word.
00:53:20It's yours and good luck.
00:53:22Now, Jeff, this ain't fair.
00:53:24Slim, I'll tell you what we'll do.
00:53:27We'll settle this thing like gentlemen should.
00:53:29We'll cut cards for it.
00:53:31But that ain't necessary, Tex.
00:53:33I'll give it to you willingly.
00:53:35I ain't gonna take it.
00:53:36It's cut cards or nothing.
00:53:38High card gets to back the show.
00:53:40But I don't see we should go to all that truck.
00:53:42Oh, that's a splendid idea.
00:53:43Here, Slim, splendid.
00:53:44There you are.
00:53:45Cut.
00:53:48Okay.
00:53:51Slim, wait, wait, wait.
00:53:52I'll tell you what we'll do to make it more interesting.
00:53:55We'll have a consolation prize.
00:53:57High card gets to back the show and pays the low card $10,000.
00:54:02$10,000?
00:54:02Well, I don't see why.
00:54:03Why?
00:54:04Oh, a tray.
00:54:07Doggone, I must be slipping.
00:54:09Well, come on, Slim.
00:54:10What have you got?
00:54:10Yeah, go on.
00:54:11Turn it over.
00:54:14Well, don't go on.
00:54:16Little old deuce.
00:54:18Looks as if I'm slipping, too.
00:54:19Oh, I thought it was gonna be Slim, Lydia.
00:54:22Well, Tex, I guess you're backing another show.
00:54:24Yes, sir.
00:54:25And I tell you, I never was happier paying off a bet in my life.
00:54:28$7,000, $8,000, $9,000, $10,000, Slim.
00:54:31It's all yours.
00:54:32Now, I guess I got a right to make you out a check.
00:54:34Oh, now, don't feel for a minute that you have to do that, Tex.
00:54:36Oh, no.
00:54:37Now, I'll just sign it, Jeff, and you fill it in.
00:54:39Oh, there's no hurry at all.
00:54:40No hurry, Tex.
00:54:41Well, you'll be around.
00:54:42I'll just call on you as I need it.
00:54:43No, no.
00:54:44I got to get right back.
00:54:46They called me last night.
00:54:49Five new oil wells came in.
00:54:52Now, I gotta buy 5,000 more head of cattle for tax purposes.
00:54:56Oh, that's tough.
00:54:57You know, if this keeps up, I'm just gonna have to take over New Mexico.
00:55:13Charles, I think if you were to get...
00:55:14I'm busy.
00:55:15Don't bother me.
00:55:23Now, we're really in for trouble.
00:55:33Oh, here's your half dollar, sir.
00:55:35I found it under the couch.
00:55:38Wait a minute.
00:55:44Thank you, sir.
00:56:02That's what I've been trying to tell you.
00:56:04Why should mugs like me take the rat?
00:56:06I tell you, this guy cuts cards for 10 cheese.
00:56:08Mr. Clark, we are discussing your tax return.
00:56:11No one else's.
00:56:12But this character, I tell you...
00:56:13We are looking into Mr. Charles.
00:56:15And as a citizen, we thank you for bringing him to our attention.
00:56:19Now, let us confine ourselves to your return.
00:56:24Okay, get going.
00:56:25The first point I wish to clarify for you is that just because you play gamblers on the screen doesn't
00:56:30permit you to take your losses at the racetrack as business deductions.
00:56:34Why not?
00:56:36It happens to be the law.
00:56:38Well, it stinks, see?
00:56:43How can I get the law changed?
00:56:46Congress makes the tax laws, Mr. Clark.
00:56:49Perhaps if you've got 60 or 70 jockeys elected to Congress, they might see things your way and make some
00:56:54revision.
00:56:54But I'm, I'm...
00:56:55I just talked to Washington.
00:56:57There's no record of any Charles Charles from Montana ever filing a tax return.
00:57:01See that?
00:57:02I had him pegged for a chiseler right from the start.
00:57:04He's got a ranch bigger than Manhattan.
00:57:06I'll lay a six to five.
00:57:07He's a fence for hot sheep.
00:57:09Want me to turn it over to Ed?
00:57:10No, I'll handle it.
00:57:12I'm going to follow him first and watch his spending habits.
00:57:14You'll see plenty.
00:57:15I've been running around with my dame for a month now.
00:57:17I've been tailing him.
00:57:18He passes out sea notes like there was dimes.
00:57:21And when you get a load of where he lives, he's got a penthouse.
00:57:23Six of the biggest rooms you ever saw.
00:58:07Six of the biggest rooms you ever saw.
00:58:40Six of the biggest rooms I saw.
00:58:40I don't know...
00:58:40Can I take the table, sir?
00:58:47Oh, you'll find some bills on the table there. Just help yourself.
00:58:50Thank you, sir.
00:58:53Ten dollars?
00:58:54Yup.
00:58:55Thank you, sir.
00:59:09Arthur!
00:59:10In the name of heaven, now what are you doing?
00:59:13The other night, Daphne and I dropped by a club where they had a sitting harvest.
00:59:16I learned more tricks from him. Get a load of this.
00:59:25Can't wait to get back and show that to the boys.
00:59:27That's nothing but musical profanity. It's immoral. Now stop it.
00:59:32Arthur, don't be such a square. It's just that you're not hip.
00:59:36Perhaps not, but there's one thing I am, and that's mighty disgusting with you.
00:59:41Ever since you came by that money, you've been selfish, arrogant, impossible.
00:59:45You've been doing nothing but going about to nightclubs with that Jezebel.
00:59:48That Jezebel!
00:59:49My dear Arthur, I've got to spend the money.
00:59:52After all, you can't take it with you. Might as well have a little fun. You only live once.
00:59:56Don't let's send you.
00:59:59Wow!
01:00:01And what about that poor child?
01:00:02You've forgotten all about her.
01:00:04Ever since you left the farm a month ago, you've just ignored her plight.
01:00:08I've been waiting for the proper moment, which is now.
01:00:12Jeff and Lydia are celebrating their eighth anniversary, and tonight I am giving them a simply lavish dinner party.
01:00:17There'll be magnums of champagne and music.
01:00:20There'll go home warm in the feeling of romance.
01:00:23There'll be memories of other anniversaries.
01:00:26I have a better idea.
01:00:28Arthur, I'm not interested in your ideas. I shall do this my way.
01:00:35Very well.
01:00:36Do it your way.
01:00:38From now on, I will not even offer advice.
01:00:41I'll just sit silently by and watch you get in deeper and deeper and deeper.
01:00:48Good.
01:00:51Hello?
01:00:52Oh.
01:00:54Hiya, honey bunch.
01:00:56Excuse me just a minute, please.
01:00:58Was there anything else, Arthur?
01:01:00Nothing.
01:01:01Goodbye.
01:01:04Sorry, darling.
01:01:06There's somebody here impressed me, but he's disappeared now, so I can speak freely.
01:01:14Yep.
01:01:20Taxi, Mr. Charles?
01:01:21No, I've got a few minutes to spare.
01:01:22I reckon I'll walk, but thanks for thinking about it.
01:01:25There you are, partner.
01:01:26Ten dollars?
01:01:28Don't go on.
01:01:29I thought it was a twenty.
01:01:30Pardon my error.
01:01:45A fine angel you are. I thought you were going to help.
01:01:48I have other things to attend to first. Now run along and don't bother me.
01:01:55He was so nice before. What's happened to him?
01:01:59Same thing that happens to a lot of people, just living.
01:02:01Hi.
01:02:03Oh.
01:02:06Any luck?
01:02:08Me neither.
01:02:10Remember the story I told you he was writing?
01:02:12Nobody bought it.
01:02:14He's down in the dumps.
01:02:15Is that your prospective father?
01:02:18He's waiting for my prospective mother.
01:02:20She's going to feel terrible when he tells her they turned it down.
01:02:24Isn't there some way you can at least help him?
01:02:27They like his writing.
01:02:28It's just that they don't care for his ideas.
01:02:31Wait a minute.
01:02:32A long, long time ago, I was on an assignment that was highly amusing and rather dramatic.
01:02:37I always felt it would make an excellent novel.
01:02:40I wonder if I could get it through to him.
01:02:42Sometimes, when the person's receptive and we concentrate real hard...
01:02:46Oh, try it.
01:02:47Please try it.
01:02:49Please try it.
01:03:07It's working.
01:03:13He's getting it.
01:03:14Keep going.
01:03:15Keep going.
01:03:16Concentrate.
01:03:17Concentrate.
01:03:22How do you like that little trinket, honeypines?
01:03:24You know I love it.
01:03:25Cigarettes.
01:03:26You're the little lady who can show it off.
01:03:28Cigars.
01:03:29Missy.
01:03:30Yes, Mr. Charles.
01:03:30We're the ones with the gold tips.
01:03:32Oh, that's right.
01:03:33Thank you very much.
01:03:43There you are.
01:03:44Keep the change, sweet stuff.
01:03:46Oh, thank you, Mr. Charles.
01:03:48Not at all.
01:03:49Not at all.
01:03:50She'll take that straight home to a mother.
01:03:52Very generous child.
01:03:53Very generous.
01:04:16Let's go.
01:04:24Good night.
01:04:27Good night.
01:04:29Good night.
01:04:29Good night.
01:04:55Good night.
01:04:58Good night.
01:05:03Good night.
01:05:05Good night.
01:05:07Good night.
01:05:07Good night.
01:05:08Good night.
01:05:09Good night.
01:05:09Good night.
01:05:09Good night.
01:05:22darling say you know dear i just got a thought on this back wall
01:05:26maybe the door is in the wrong place i think we moved it over just a little
01:05:32it'd be much better for the scene in the third act
01:05:36oh now lydia wait a minute look darling i've got to okay the blueprints on this in the morning
01:05:42please darling this is the eighth anniversary of our marriage not of your entrance into the theater
01:05:50and you don't celebrate it by fondling toy furniture
01:05:57oh jeff let's postpone the show until spring let's take a trip
01:06:03just the two of us darling look we've been over this time we need a refresher course in the
01:06:08fundamentals of living i realized that tonight watching slim
01:06:14when we first met him he was shy and genuine now look at him smug self-centered
01:06:22we've changed him jeff and it's a pretty sad commentary on us
01:06:28yes yes dear something strange and rather wonderful has enveloped me these past few days
01:06:37i've lost that fanatical interest in the theater
01:06:41all i want is just the two of us a home and a family
01:06:56somehow i have no enthusiasm for this play now
01:07:00well now don't you worry dear after four weeks rehearsal you'll be just as excited about it as i am
01:07:04i doubt it and if i have no enthusiasm it'll stink dear
01:07:17after all i'm the whole show
01:07:21well darling i i grant your importance
01:07:25but there are a few other elements to consider
01:07:27the other actors the writing and uh
01:07:30i for instance plan an entirely new kind of staging with this i'm sure it'll be just fine
01:07:36but after all dear people don't come all the way in from connecticut
01:07:40just to see a new kind of staging
01:07:44that stuff sparkles honey buns but not like your eyes
01:07:47yes no sir monsieur charles
01:07:50devini père et fils trente-trois
01:07:54mercy gawk on mercy
01:07:57yep i reckon as how that's bond
01:07:59trace bond
01:08:00ice it up
01:08:01bien monsieur
01:08:02miss peters
01:08:03has a long distance called
01:08:05oh thanks
01:08:06don't bother i'll be right back
01:08:09don't be long honey bunge
01:08:19i'm sure he's dead gawk on
01:08:21now bury that will you
01:08:23yeah and i tell you what what
01:08:27say partner you look as lonely as a sheep herder on christmas eve
01:08:32somebody turn you down
01:08:33no just didn't show up
01:08:37well i reckon as hell we got enough champagne for a maverick like you
01:08:41care to join me
01:08:42well thanks
01:08:44uh garkin
01:08:45a glass for the gentleman
01:08:47yeah monsieur
01:08:48my name's arthur crane
01:08:49how about it
01:08:51i'm slim charles
01:08:52arrest yourself
01:08:55that's quite a uh quite a dinner you gave tonight
01:08:57yeah
01:08:59nothing's too good for a friend
01:09:01i suppose it was business
01:09:03hmm
01:09:04in a way that's what i figured
01:09:06nobody could give a blowout like this nowadays unless it was deductible
01:09:12unless you could take it off your income tax as a business deduction
01:09:17income tax what's that
01:09:21why it's a it's a little scheme the government's figured out
01:09:24been working quite well
01:09:32you mean people have to pay a tax on what they earn
01:09:36that's the idea
01:09:37well i calculate as how that ain't fair
01:09:41do you mean you've never paid a tax
01:09:44never
01:09:46that's what the record shows
01:09:49i uh
01:09:50i'm from the department of internal revenue
01:09:55hey that's a rotten ass picture you partner
01:09:58yes
01:09:59yes i like it
01:10:01you see i've been tailing you
01:10:04all day
01:10:05watching your spending habits
01:10:06you uh you live quite lavishly don't you
01:10:09hmm you betcha
01:10:11this last month's been a powerful lot of fun
01:10:15tell me why haven't you ever filed an income tax return
01:10:18but nobody ever asked me to
01:10:23and you see uh the taxpayers of america is not an honorary society we don't send out
01:10:30invitations it's the law you just pay
01:10:34i don't that's it keep it up get yourself in real trouble
01:10:39be quiet arthur i didn't ask your opinion
01:10:42i didn't give any
01:10:44oh doggone
01:10:46that's right ain't it your name's arthur too
01:10:49i was talking the other one there
01:11:00well uh just uh just drop down to the office tomorrow
01:11:05here's the the address my boss would like to talk to you
01:11:10i'm mighty sorry father but uh i won't be here tomorrow uh i gotta get back tonight
01:11:16i i'd i'd stay over if i were you well you see uh
01:11:24well i might as well tell you but uh don't mention it because people just think you're crazy
01:11:31you see i'm not really a westerner at all was just perfect
01:11:40matter of fact uh not even a human being
01:11:48i'm an angel
01:11:54so is arthur there
01:12:01oh really yes i just came down to settle a little matter but looks like it's over now so very
01:12:12shortly i'm gonna dematerialize and go back to heaven
01:12:17well they haven't got any income tax that's why they call it heaven
01:12:26yes well uh have uh have a good trip thanks very much partner thank you
01:12:34thank you
01:12:38now if you're ready to take advice my advice to you is get out of here as fast as ever
01:12:44you can
01:12:45nonsense arthur there's still some more champagne
01:12:54oh he's probably a little stewed i tell you he thinks he's an angel
01:12:58look that's another angel he thinks he's talking to
01:13:15date of birth i wasn't born i was created the second day of the world
01:13:21any sisters or brothers oh yes millions of both
01:13:26you know i think that gives us the necessary data now tell me more about yourself mr charles but
01:13:32why doctor you will write it all down other doctors will study it and then describe me in
01:13:37complex scientific terms they'll come to see me and i shall be gone it'll be most embarrassing
01:13:42for you oh you're planning on leaving yes i don't want to take up any more of your time
01:13:46there are others i'm sure who need your guidance and now i must be going but the door is locked
01:13:51mr charles how do you propose to leave at nightfall how does the sunlight leave this room
01:13:58i raise my hands and in a twice
01:14:02i'm gone
01:14:04goodbye gentlemen you've been very kind with a slight exception of depriving me of my suspenders and
01:14:10ties i'm sorry mr charles hospital rules no matter it will only make vanishing a little clumsy
01:14:15say goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye now
01:14:28strange i can't stand
01:14:43why don't you lie down mr charles i'm sure after you've had a nice rest you'll find it much easier
01:14:57he appears to be in an acute delusional state imagine we'd find alcohol has quite a bit to do with
01:15:02it and yet his gait is far from a toxic he's coherent no evidence of dysarthria study him from
01:15:07the observation room if you discover anything further call me yes doctor
01:15:41well just don't stand there grinning like an ape
01:15:44say something what is there to say
01:15:46with the possible exception if it serves you right why can't i vanish what's happened what's the
01:15:51matter you violate every rule of angelic behavior and you ask what's the matter you've got yourself
01:15:57into this hey the car's men is saying get yourself out
01:16:11mr charles mr arthur mr charles they had a big fight he's moving out of the house you mean
01:16:21i've failed in that too hurry you've got to talk to them before it's too late it's already too late
01:16:27and i have already talked too much coming here was such a simple and delightful lock
01:16:34leaving here unfortunately is not so easy but why don't you just vanish i've tried it
01:16:41the only thing that happens is that my trousers fall
01:16:53you can't get back to heaven ever
01:16:56that apparently is my miserable fate well goodbye charles a fine angel you are you can't leave him like
01:17:04this we've got to help him
01:17:08if i went back do you think they'd let you be an angel again as much as you want to
01:17:14be born
01:17:15you do that for me if it weren't for me you wouldn't be here you wanted to help
01:17:21it didn't work out but you wanted to help that's the important thing you're very unselfish it's a pity it
01:17:29didn't work out you would have made a great human being oh mr arthur we've got to help them we've
01:17:38got
01:17:38to find something i have an idea what's your boss's name hey de kyle
01:17:47you know my child don't waste your prayers on me i don't deserve them save them for yourself
01:17:55it always works better if they're for somebody else
01:18:34it always works better if they're for somebody else
01:18:46we can stay longer i won't be a minute i just want to look at them once more before i
01:18:54go
01:18:56don't pack too much dear i'll be leaving for europe the end of the week you can move back in
01:19:00then oh thanks but these are things i'll need at the office for production conferences if you
01:19:04should forget anything just call and i'll be glad to send it over thanks loads and if i can be
01:19:09of
01:19:09any help with passports visas or travelers checks please don't hesitate to let me know that's very
01:19:14considerate of you well just because we've decided to go our separate ways there's no reason why we
01:19:18can't do it as civilized people should you're perfectly right dear it would be most childish
01:19:22to end it with bitterness and slamming doors after all we've had eight wonderful years together
01:19:26and there's no reason why we shouldn't remember that rather than an eight minute quarrel you're
01:19:30absolutely right dear oh if they only knew it there's still so much in love i'm on my way i'm
01:19:37on
01:19:37my way you know that story you gave him well he told it to a publisher and he got a
01:19:43big advance
01:19:43i'm on my way how you doing i'm on my way back oh gee no they're busting up i've gotta
01:19:53go
01:19:54and yet i hate to now more than ever because now i can almost feel this railing and smell those
01:20:01flowers
01:20:04goodbye mother goodbye daddy i'm sorry you never knew me i think you might have liked me
01:20:12come dear i think we better go now just another minute please
01:20:19although we don't see eye to eye on this play i do wish you luck with it here's to it
01:20:24oh where's my drink oh there it is excuse me um and here's to you my dear may the future
01:20:32bring
01:20:33you everything you hope the past would thank you oh may i have some of those peanuts please
01:20:38oh certainly that's strange i never thought you could tolerate these things never could
01:20:45but for some strange reason i just had a sudden craving for them thanks
01:20:50not at all do you uh plan to go to england first i think so i'm afraid the continent would
01:20:57be awfully
01:20:57crowded in july yes i'm afraid so oh incidentally when you do get to rome don't forget to look up
01:21:02martin and arlene he's doing another one of those venetian type movies is arlene gonna be in it
01:21:07no no it's a documentary no actors at all just one shot after another of gondolas and peep
01:21:16darling hmm darling that that sudden craving you don't suppose you don't suppose i haven't
01:21:26thought about it but i have been feeling terribly maternal this past week it's it's quite possible
01:21:31you know yes but darling you you i know i didn't discuss it with you but i came to the
01:21:35conclusion
01:21:35that we'd given enough affection to the theater oh i knew it i knew it that's why i can almost
01:21:40follow the flowers i'm on my way too now now you can't be sure yet now darling you can't be
01:21:46sure
01:21:46yet i have to go to the doctor and have the rabbit test you will not now you're just going
01:21:52to lie
01:21:52right here and take it easy i i'll i'll have the doctor bring the rabbit here oh yes lydia lydia
01:21:57keep your legs up oh darling i don't think you should now you just lie here and relax relax
01:22:20yippee i'm on my way yippee that's strange i thought i heard a child's voice
01:22:28that's funny so did i oh but the really strange thing is me i never thought i'd feel this way
01:22:36it's such a wonderful feeling suddenly nothing else matters that's just what slim said would happen
01:22:43he said that reminds me i didn't want to tell you but daphne called before and said that while she
01:22:49answered a telephone they hauled slim off to bellevue he'd been telling everybody he was an
01:22:54angel and then when she went to the hospital to see him later the doctor said that he had just
01:22:58suddenly somehow vanished oh jeff isn't that the silliest thing
01:23:10jeff remember that day we met him at the racetrack that sudden gust of wind oh now wait a minute
01:23:16darling that could have been caused by any number
01:23:39that's it that's it you're going to feel much better now just come over here and sit down
01:23:53thanks
01:24:08pardon me
01:24:11i'm sorry but aren't you jeff bolton yes that's right i'm roger blake i uh how do you
01:24:18what roger blake
01:24:21the angel watches that's right how are you i thought i recognized you from the picture on
01:24:26the dust jacket well i just finished reading it last night's great job thank you incidentally have
01:24:31you thought of dramatizing it well as a matter of fact i had with your wife in mind say that
01:24:35was my
01:24:36idea too i was going to call your agent today but uh well but but you're going to do the
01:24:40daphne peters
01:24:41play aren't you well as soon as lydia's ready and able but uh we could be doing a lot of
01:24:44work in the
01:24:44meantime and then follow with yours follow with mine yes why not well how lucky can a guy get
01:24:50selling my first play and having my first baby all all the same day well i'm pacing too
01:24:56uh uh cigarette oh thanks
01:25:06nervous no
01:25:14well
01:25:30i'm glad to see you what are you doing here i've been appointed guardian angel for a little
01:25:38Well, I've been appointed her guardian angel.
01:25:41Oh. Well, we'll be seeing a lot of each other then.
01:25:44Jeff and Lydia are going to do a play based on his book.
01:25:47Of course, if it's successful, I should receive a royalty.
01:25:51After all, it was my idea.
01:25:53Where are the children?
01:25:54They're waiting outside the delivery room.
01:25:59I... I hope nothing goes wrong.
01:26:01They say this is hard on the fathers.
01:26:03I think it's worse on the kids.
01:26:08I... I don't suppose we'll remember any of this.
01:26:11I hope we get to see each other some nights.
01:26:13Because I...
01:26:33Well, Charles, they finally made it.
01:26:36And who knows, Arthur?
01:26:38Twenty years from now, we may be walking down a church aisle together.
01:26:40Hmm.
01:26:41After all, they're nice kids.
01:26:48My Charles seems to have a lustier cry than yours.
01:26:51Oh, I don't know.
01:26:53It's just that I haven't taken over yet.
01:26:54It will survive.
01:26:55We'll see about that right now.
01:27:01Oh...
01:27:03Oh, my God!
01:27:06Oh, my God!
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