00:00Is this new?
00:01No?
00:01It's been happening for a long time?
00:04You're both very good-looking people.
00:06She could have had any of these ugly insurgents, you know?
00:11What do you do for a living?
00:12I'm in risk management.
00:14You're in risk management?
00:16Are you referring to her?
00:20That's your risky management?
00:22Hey, man, I live life on the edge, bro.
00:25You're very tall, though.
00:266'3"?
00:276'2"?
00:28Higher? 6'4"?
00:306'6"?
00:32Get out of town, bro!
00:33You're 6'6"?
00:35Wow, man, that's amazing.
00:37You play sports?
00:38Baseball.
00:39Baseball.
00:446'6"?
00:45Fucking playing baseball.
00:50Thank God you married a Persian,
00:51because the white community would not fucking give you a girl.
00:55In Texas, they're like,
00:56Goddamn 6'6", playing baseball.
00:58Oh, it's a fucking waste of time, guy.
01:01Get him out of here.
01:04And her family's like,
01:06Oh, wow, he's very tall, beautiful.
01:09Wow, he does risky management things.
01:12He's very good.
01:13Man, our whole life is risk, you know?
01:16We don't even have a green card.
01:17Let's go.
01:20This guy came with sunglasses.
01:22This guy came with sunglasses.
01:24Buddy, now you're in the theater.
01:28Huh?
01:30Prescription.
01:30Prescription?
01:31What kind of prescription they gave you that's for inside, but it's dark.
01:36So the vision gets better, but the color doesn't let you see.
01:42That's bullshit to the nth degree.
01:45Yeah?
01:46Prescription, buddy.
01:47Prescription.
01:50What did you ask the doctor?
01:52I asked you to look cool.
01:54They prescribed the coolness for me.
01:58The point is you're stylish.
02:00That's all that matters.
02:01Yeah.
02:02You see, better with it or without it?
02:05With it, a stick up a liar's ass.
02:10Yeah?
02:11Do I want to see the doctor prescribe it to you, not for me?
02:15Nice start to the show.
02:20Is it hard to find a man in Toronto?
02:24Is it really?
02:25Let me clap.
02:26How many single guys are here?
02:27Clap.
02:27Let's see how many single men are in the audience.
02:29She must have gone.
02:30Like, how do you meet people in Toronto?
02:32We don't meet.
02:33You don't meet.
02:36Should I say anything to that?
02:40How long have you been single?
02:43One week.
02:47Oh, you're such a player.
02:49You're such a player.
02:51That one week is so long for you
02:53that you feel like you haven't met anybody.
02:56What's your name?
02:57Sina.
02:59Definitely don't date Sina.
03:01This guy one week complaining.
03:04You know, check his hat.
03:05I'm going to do it.
03:12Just in case, what am I losing?
03:18China?
03:19That's so beautiful.
03:21What's your name?
03:23You won't give up?
03:25I won't give up.
03:26I'll give you one more chance.
03:28Enunciate.
03:29Go.
03:31Chin.
03:32That's easy.
03:34Chin.
03:36That's so easy.
03:37Did you make it easy for me?
03:39We say,
03:46And you were like,
03:47You made it easy for me?
03:52That is so sweet of you.
03:54This is your boyfriend?
03:56What a nice guy.
03:58You look familiar.
04:00Last five years you've been to my shows?
04:03I picked on you before?
04:05You were wearing a bow tie?
04:07And this year you came wearing normal shirts.
04:11Bow tie was stupid.
04:14Now you look like a proper audience member.
04:17Give me a high five, buddy.
04:19Give me a hug.
04:20Give me a hug.
04:21Five years in the row.
04:22Aw, I love you, man.
04:23You're so nice, dude.
04:25What a nice boyfriend.
04:28One more time?
04:30For what?
04:31You want to take a picture?
04:33This is not China, honey.
04:37We don't take pictures of everything.
04:40We remember the hug.
04:41I remember how he smells.
04:43He smelled like orange chicken.
04:50Buddy, what are you doing there?
04:52What the fuck are you doing on my stage?
04:57The other day,
04:58I'm about to miss my flight.
05:00I'm running.
05:01I'm so late.
05:08You fucking interrupted my show,
05:10like a dick
05:13with your weird fucking,
05:15I don't know,
05:15Australian shit accent.
05:20What's your name?
05:22My name is Morset.
05:25I love how you had to think about it.
05:29Which name do I use?
05:31He's going to fuck you.
05:33I love you, Morset.
05:35Be comfortable, bro.
05:37You by yourself?
05:38Yes, yes.
05:39Come sit next to my buddy here.
05:41Come.
05:42You can come quietly.
05:43Come sit here, okay?
05:44There's one seat for you.
05:45I've got another seat.
05:46This is not a fucking dealership.
05:48Can we, can we have two?
05:51Okay, come down.
05:52Come down, buddy.
05:53Come, find your way down.
05:56Oh, Morset is coming down fast.
06:00Did you see how fast he just turned?
06:04He did five push-ups before he gets down.
06:08Be careful, buddy.
06:09He's coming.
06:15Buddy, what are you doing there?
06:17What the fuck are you doing on my stage?
06:21Morset, I didn't say sit here.
06:23What the fuck are you doing on my stage?
06:24Morset!
06:29I'm sorry.
06:31There's no other way.
06:33What do you do for a living?
06:35Nothing.
06:38I'm from the UK.
06:39I just came here yesterday.
06:42You left the UK.
06:43You moved to America?
06:45Just for a holiday.
06:46Oh, just for a holiday?
06:48What do you do in the UK?
06:50Nothing, mate.
06:50You don't have a job?
06:52Are you serious?
06:54You need to get a fucking job.
06:57Look, his shirt says,
06:59No discipline.
07:03Go sit.
07:05Go sit right there.
07:06You see that?
07:07Go around.
07:08Go, you find a way.
07:10Go.
07:10I believe in you, yeah?
07:19Crazy shit happens on my show.
07:25Hurry up!
07:26He's upstairs now.
07:32Look, he made everybody to stand up.
07:36One day, when you get a job, I will come visit you and I will take a shit in the
07:42middle of your office.
07:44You couldn't find a fucking door, bro.
07:48Do we have, like, any Persian influencer in the house?
07:51Is anybody here, like, with super popular Instagram?
07:54Anybody?
07:56Nah?
07:58Really?
07:59In the balcony?
08:02Okay.
08:02You're at the end of the balcony.
08:03What kind of influencer couldn't buy a ticket at least in the middle?
08:10What kind of influencer are you, Muhammad?
08:15Real estate influencer.
08:18My asshole.
08:22Muhammad John, good try.
08:24But let me tell you something very important.
08:26All the way from this corner, all the way up, all the way to this, they're all in real estate.
08:35Tonight is not Maximini's show.
08:37Tonight is a real estate convention.
08:40A lot of Persians here tonight, they're not here for my show.
08:43They're here to buy the building.
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