00:00Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to flight 1492 to Miami. If this is your first time flying with us,
00:05welcome.
00:07If it's not your first time flying, welcome back. Clearly you survived the last one.
00:12Is he serious right now?
00:13Great, we have one of those flight attendants on this one.
00:15Put on all seriousness, please keep your seatbelt fastened low and tight across your lap.
00:18It's not a fashion statement, but it does look good on everyone.
00:22Dear God, make it stop.
00:23Okay, so this is why tickets were cheap.
00:25Our flight time today is approximately two hours, or one movie, three trips to the snack cart.
00:30It's 4.30 in the morning.
00:33We'll be dipping the cabin light shortly.
00:35This isn't for romance, it's for your seatmate so they can't see you drooling next to you.
00:39So like, is this going to be a fall flight thing?
00:41Mommy, make him stop.
00:43Please check around your seat before exiting the aircraft today, ladies and gentlemen, okay?
00:47Anything left behind will be adopted by another passenger, and no, we won't look for it.
00:52How did he get this job?
00:54I don't understand that, he's not funny.
00:56If you enjoyed your flight today, our names are the flight attendants, okay?
01:00If you didn't enjoy your flight today, we're not the flight attendants, we're the catering department.
01:05Shut up!
01:06Seriously, who is this guy?
01:07They let anyone be a flight attendant these days.
01:08The cabin has turned on the fastened seatbelt sign.
01:11We know.
01:12It's always on right when you need to use the restroom.
01:15Jesus have mercy.
01:17God, God.
01:18For your safety, please remain seated until we've come to a complete stop, okay?
01:22The aisle isn't going anywhere, and neither are you.
01:26How do you report a flight attendant?
01:28I've literally heard better jokes on Elmo.
01:30Thank you so much for flying with us.
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