Astrikos Katoikos - "The Loneliness of Agony"

"I'm in pain..."
"Maybe next week... if I have time."
The sentence falls like shattered glass,
Nothing answers. Nothing climbs.

Your pulse keeps perfect rhythm,
Mine skips every fragile beat.
You inspect my collapsing world
Without ever leaving your seat.

"I get it..."
Then another courtroom opens wide.
Every comfort wears a costume,
Every verdict chooses sides.

"You're overthinking..."
"Just decide to feel okay."
Strange advice from distant windows
To someone buried under gray.

No borrowed mouth can taste this bitterness.
No distant eye can measure what it breaks.
You polished every explanation
While the ground beneath me shook awake.

Each confession turned to doctrine,
Each plea dissolved before it stayed.
When I searched for one companion...
Only echoes kept my place.

Mercy changed into conclusions.
Listening vanished without a sound.
Everybody built instructions.
Nobody sat upon the ground.

I was never asking miracles,
Or daylight handed from above.
Only someone willing to remain
Long enough to carry part of the weight.

Agony keeps no scoreboard.
Ruin doesn't rank its names.
Still they sort the fractured pieces
As if suffering were a game.

Distance breeds impressive courage
Where no blood has touched the floor.
Silence signs its own confession...
One closed door becomes four more.

Keep your speeches.
Keep your formulas.
Wear your certainty with pride.
Compassion postponed too long
Arrives already on the wrong side.

Don't translate this storm for strangers.
Language cracks before it lands.
No diagram survives the midnight
Hidden underneath the skin.

One quiet presence outweighs libraries
Built from flawless reasoning.
The slowest murder of a spirit...
Is watching pain become routine.

______________________________

Astrikos Katoikos
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