00:00Bell's station in the 4,000 block of Pulaski Highway was robbed around 11.45 a.m. this morning.
00:05The suspect, described as a white male...
00:07Love it!
00:16I'm sorry, what?
00:18What are you two celebrating?
00:20Oh, nothing. We're just glad that we know what the criminal looks like.
00:23And he ain't one of us.
00:25You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about?
00:28In other news, a Ponzi scheme has shaken some of Miami's wealthiest residents.
00:33That's money off the show.
00:35Clement Smith of Clement Smith Investment Securities is accused of committing this egregious white-collar crime.
00:41Right there in the name.
00:43He was arrested this morning in Boca Raton.
00:48Oh!
00:50And look at that.
00:51Hey!
00:52He's black.
00:54Really? What?
00:55Okay. So I guess we tied, you know.
00:58A Fort Lauderdale man was apprehended outside of a...
01:02Cracker Barrel.
01:05For cutting brake lines on a dozen bird scooters.
01:08You see, only white people got that kind of time, okay?
01:11Okay, yeah. He's white.
01:12So what?
01:13In other news, a shopper was apprehended by security at Oceanside Mall
01:17for assaulting a man who stepped on his Air Jordans.
01:20Oh, I'm sorry.
01:23Did you say Air Jordans?
01:25Oh, that's black for sure.
01:27Whoa!
01:30You know, I knew it as soon as I saw it.
01:32Right.
01:33Okay, okay, and how about this one?
01:35A local woman attacked a cashier at a nail shop
01:38after they refused to take her welfare card.
01:41Oh, Lord.
01:43Police say they're looking for a 19-year-old white...
01:47Damn it!
01:47Woo!
01:49That's three, baby!
01:51Nice!
01:52All right, let's get that back.
01:53Police say a Latino man...
01:54Ah, skip that one. We don't need that.
01:58Okay, how about this?
01:59How about a man on a rock-climbing trip
02:03was laud by a bison for the second time in three months?
02:06See, y'all don't learn. Y'all don't like to learn.
02:08Okay, just keep reading. Keep reading.
02:09This incident happened in the Utah National State Park.
02:12Ugh, not looking good.
02:16Family of the man now identified as Laquan Jenkins...
02:20Yes!
02:22Baby, what is he doing?
02:23What an upset!
02:24A Laquan rock-climbing in Utah?
02:29That's okay! We still tied up, baby!
02:31We tied up!
02:32Let's go! Let's go!
02:34All right, next one takes it.
02:36Okay.
02:37A man dressed as the Joker...
02:39Damn it!
02:40That's it! That is it! That's it!
02:42You nailed that word!
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