00:00How about Forrest Gump? You see Forrest Gump? Where'd you go? You saw that one, right?
00:04I love that movie. Some people hate it. I love it. Best picture, 94. Fantastic, if you ask me.
00:10I got beef, though. I re-watched it. Movies get different as you watch them, like, later in life.
00:14And I got beef with one of the characters, Mrs. Gump, specifically, played wonderfully by Sally
00:19Field, who's Tom Hanks' mother in that movie, and a love interest in a movie four years earlier, so...
00:25A little movie magic.
00:29This is my issue. Remember the scene where Forrest Gump, he graduates from the University of Alabama.
00:33Somehow. We're not sure how exactly. It's a little iffy.
00:37Early on in the film, he's too dumb to get into kindergarten.
00:40Later, he graduates from the University of Alabama.
00:43He couldn't get into kindergarten. His mother had to bang the principal. That's how he got in.
00:47This was pre-Me Too movement. That was a fair exchange back in the day.
00:52He gets into the public school system, plays football, graduates University of Alabama.
00:56And then at graduation, remember this, he graduates, and a guy in an Army uniform walks up,
01:00and he hands him a pamphlet, and he says, have you given any thought to your future?
01:03And Forrest says, thought, because he doesn't know what thoughts are.
01:06He's confused.
01:10And then it just cuts to Forrest. He's on the bus. He's joined the Army.
01:13And there's a drill instructor like, get your bitch ass on the Army bus, you pussy, or whatever.
01:17And Forrest is like, oh my God, I think I made a big mistake.
01:20And this is where I have an issue with Mrs. Gump.
01:22I really feel like she should have stepped in and looked out for her son.
01:26If you didn't see the movie, he's in grave danger.
01:28He's going directly to Vietnam. It's 1968.
01:31And here's what I think. I think Mrs. Gump wanted to get rid of Forrest.
01:33That's what I, that's the argument I'm presenting.
01:37I think she was like, I'm tired of paying for leg braces and banging all these principals.
01:42That's a great idea.
01:44Go to Vietnam. See what you can do over there.
01:48Because he wasn't going to get drafted. He was safe.
01:50He was draft exempt for a few reasons.
01:51One, he was a college graduate.
01:54Two, he was his mother's only son.
01:56And three, he was retarded.
01:58So I feel like...
02:03I feel like he was safe.
02:07Then he came home two years later.
02:08He's like, I'm home, Mama.
02:09She's like, you got to be shitting me. Are you serious?
02:12Oh, God damn it.
02:15Oh, I thought I took care of this.
02:16That's great.
02:18He's like, how's Bubba?
02:20He died.
02:20He died?
02:21Oh.
02:29Sorry.
02:31I'm from the 90s.
02:32I apologize.
02:33I'm from the 90s.
02:33I'm from the 90s.
02:33I'm from the 90s.
02:33I'm from the 90s.
02:34I'm from the 90s.
02:34I'm from the 90s.
02:34I'm from the 90s.
02:35I'm from the 90s.
02:35I'm from the 90s.
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