- 2 weeks ago
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00:08In the ever-changing history of mankind, every so often, great women make all the difference.
00:00:19This is one such cautionary tale.
00:00:36It's so lovely here.
00:00:40It's like a paradise.
00:00:42I love these trees.
00:00:45Well, it hasn't changed much since last time you were here.
00:00:48Have you never been here before?
00:00:55Well, yes, this is my treehouse.
00:00:57Away from the maddening crowd.
00:00:59This place, it keeps me sane.
00:01:07The air is so fresh.
00:01:12It's so good.
00:01:14You know, I thought John and Susan would have been here by now.
00:01:17You haven't met them yet, but part of my team.
00:01:19They argue all the time, talk all kinds of shit.
00:01:22It's a love-hate relationship.
00:01:24Looking forward to meet them.
00:01:26They sound interesting.
00:01:30Baby, you look so hot in that miniskirt.
00:01:33I'm so excited about you putting on a fashion show for me.
00:01:37There's a lot of girls in contention for this, but I think you could be the one.
00:01:41You know, just keep working on that Russian accent and keep going to acting class.
00:01:46Michael, are you serious?
00:01:51It'll work out.
00:01:54Say, you ever played pool before?
00:01:56I don't know even how to hold it.
00:02:02I'll teach you how to hold it.
00:02:03First of all, you've got to hold it smooth and light.
00:02:07Okay?
00:02:09All right, now bend over.
00:02:11Oh.
00:02:11More.
00:02:12More.
00:02:13And you stroke it.
00:02:14Just so.
00:02:16He does it.
00:02:17Smooth.
00:02:18In and out.
00:02:19In and out.
00:02:21All right, go ahead.
00:02:23The fun has arrived!
00:02:27Maria, I'd like you to meet Susan.
00:02:30She's my executive producer.
00:02:32My fixer.
00:02:33Without her, I'm lost.
00:02:34Okay, that's awkward.
00:02:36And this is John.
00:02:37He's my computer wizard.
00:02:38Does all my social media for me.
00:02:40He's a bit eccentric, but he's the best.
00:02:42Pleasure to meet you.
00:02:44I'm Maria Putin.
00:02:45No wonder that Michael likes you.
00:02:48He loves everything about Donald Trump.
00:02:50And you look just like Melania.
00:02:54Seriously.
00:02:55Gosh, she's so beautiful.
00:02:57I hear Michael might put you in his next project.
00:03:00Showgirl Wars.
00:03:01It's going to be an epic show.
00:03:02Perfect.
00:03:04I hope so.
00:03:06Let's go out on the deck and I can take some pictures of you and Maria.
00:03:09And then I can take some pictures of her alone.
00:03:11She looks so good in that dress.
00:03:17And make me look good.
00:03:21Ah, not the hair.
00:03:23Okay, Michael, get out of there.
00:03:24I got it.
00:03:25Yeah, baby.
00:03:26Show some sass.
00:03:27What do we got, Susan?
00:03:28Pretend we're playing doctor.
00:03:29See, I don't need to talk about some of your logistic problems with the show.
00:03:33I thought we had that all figured out.
00:03:34All right, come on, guys.
00:03:35We're on holiday.
00:03:36We're up here at my beautiful retreat.
00:03:38Let's have some fun.
00:03:39Let's play some eight ball.
00:03:40Come on.
00:03:43Nice shot.
00:03:45You don't even have cojones in a game.
00:03:50Well, it's been fun.
00:03:51You guys go ahead and keep playing pool.
00:03:53Maria and I are going to go upstairs.
00:03:55She's going to do some modeling for me.
00:03:57All right.
00:03:58But just remember, you need to be fed for tomorrow.
00:04:01We're going on a rover to Vegas.
00:04:02Don't worry.
00:04:03I'm a fantastic driver.
00:04:06Let's go.
00:04:06Good luck up there.
00:04:24All right.
00:04:26Let's go.
00:04:29I want you to be fed for tomorrow.
00:04:35Don't worry.
00:04:36Yeah. Yeah, no. Make sure that the title of the show is in big, bold letters.
00:04:43Resodic Adventures, coming soon, and you will be too.
00:04:47Uh-huh. No, no, no, no.
00:04:50I don't want any jailbait this time, okay?
00:04:53Just barely legal.
00:04:55And no Botox spinboats this time, okay?
00:05:02What's wrong?
00:05:08What's going on out here?
00:05:10Wait.
00:05:13God damn it. Fucking piece of shit. Not fucking working.
00:05:17Get me out of here.
00:05:20What the hell happened to my baby?
00:05:22Out here, in the middle of nowhere.
00:05:24What do you mean, in the middle of nowhere? This is Area 51.
00:05:27Shut up, Frodo. Nobody cares.
00:05:29Now I gotta fix this thing. I don't even know what's wrong with it.
00:05:32Calm down, Michael. We get out of here.
00:05:35How about mix your cocktail with a little Valium, Prozac?
00:05:40Just relax, will ya?
00:05:41I don't mean to be impolite, Sue, but since Michael brought it up, are those real?
00:05:46No, dipshit.
00:05:47Kmart. Blue light special.
00:05:49Hey, um, have you ever gotten late?
00:05:52Without paying for it.
00:05:54Come on, guys.
00:05:55Be nice.
00:05:55Sue, is there anything about you that's not plastic besides your credit cards?
00:05:58Can you guys shut the fuck up?
00:06:02Okay, I'm trying to fix this fucking thing.
00:06:04And all you guys are talking about plastic, plastic, plastic.
00:06:06You guys are all plastic to me at this point.
00:06:08Shut up.
00:06:11Honey, why did we have to leave Reno?
00:06:14We were having such a nice vacation.
00:06:18We could have flown.
00:06:20And what?
00:06:21Leave my $100,000 baby in a parking lot alone for three days?
00:06:26I don't think so.
00:06:27I don't think so.
00:06:29I love you.
00:06:31I love you, too.
00:06:39I'm sorry, Sugar Walls.
00:06:41Listen.
00:06:42Once we get to Vegas, this is going to be the biggest, grandest show ever.
00:06:47Bigger than even Wife Beaters.
00:06:49Starring our newest starlet.
00:06:51You.
00:06:53Oh, it sounds fantastic.
00:06:56I just turned down a photo shoot in the Bahamas
00:07:01to start in your crazy show.
00:07:03You made the right car, honey.
00:07:07Can I help you?
00:07:09Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:14He seems a little...
00:07:15...bloned up.
00:07:17All he needs is some good scalp.
00:07:21Some what?
00:07:23Oral sex, Sugar.
00:07:25Why do you think a steering wheel is tilted?
00:07:28What do you mean?
00:07:31More headroom, honey.
00:07:32See anything?
00:07:34More headroom.
00:07:35Wipe off your classes, you idiots.
00:07:36Oh.
00:07:37No, don't, Michael.
00:07:38Give me cheese.
00:07:38What about right here?
00:07:40That's how I got this.
00:07:45Dumbest sack of rocks.
00:07:49All right.
00:07:50I think I got it.
00:07:51Let's get out of here.
00:07:53Okay.
00:07:54Wait a minute.
00:07:54Hey.
00:07:57Where's John?
00:07:58Where'd that idiot go?
00:08:04Here's Johnny.
00:08:06You imbecile.
00:08:07I thought you were dead.
00:08:09Get in the car.
00:08:09Let's get out of here.
00:08:29It doesn't work.
00:08:33Not even the horn works.
00:08:35Maria, quit playing with your ring.
00:08:37You're gonna lose it.
00:08:38It doesn't matter, put it away.
00:08:39You're making me nervous.
00:08:42Okay.
00:08:45Phone doesn't work either.
00:08:46Somebody tell me this is a bad dream.
00:08:48There's gotta be somebody out here that can help us.
00:08:52Where are we?
00:08:53Susan, where are we?
00:08:54Well, according to Google Maps, hey, nothing works.
00:09:03Google's gone.
00:09:05Oh, my God.
00:09:06It's the end of the world.
00:09:08It's not the end of the world, Maria.
00:09:11Find service.
00:09:16There's gotta be service.
00:09:17Hello?
00:09:22I got nothing.
00:09:24Yeah.
00:09:25No shit.
00:09:27Hello?
00:09:30Anybody?
00:09:32Anybody?
00:09:45Well.
00:09:47Looks like we're stuck out here.
00:09:53Guys, what's happening?
00:10:00How the hell should I know?
00:10:01I told you, man.
00:10:03There's somewhere near Area 51.
00:10:05Weird stuff goes on out here all the time.
00:10:07Is there anybody civilized out here
00:10:09that can help us get the shit out of here?
00:10:11I don't know.
00:10:13They might arrest us for trespassing.
00:10:15There's a secret government air force base
00:10:17where they carry on all those UFO experiments.
00:10:19Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
00:10:21I know all about the place.
00:10:23I mean, they've got sensory equipment so advanced
00:10:25they can smell a person coming near the boundaries
00:10:27and tell whether they're gay or straight.
00:10:30Talkin' to these idiots haven't found you yet.
00:10:31If they come over and start talking to us,
00:10:33just keep our hands up like we surrender.
00:10:36Maybe we'll get lucky.
00:10:37We won't run into any of those camel dudes.
00:10:38What is camel dudes?
00:10:41They're not camels.
00:10:42They're special security forces
00:10:44equipped with high-tech surveillance gear
00:10:46to stop intruders.
00:10:47Well, I could use
00:10:49one of those stiff camel dudes right now.
00:10:53Wait a minute, guys.
00:10:54What's that?
00:10:56Come on, guys.
00:10:57Let's check it out.
00:11:05Ah, cool.
00:11:07Don't nobody touch it.
00:11:10Why not?
00:11:12It's a Foo Fighter.
00:11:13Loves their music.
00:11:15First seen by pilots in World War II.
00:11:17Essentially, it's a multidirectional
00:11:18anti-gravity proton ball.
00:11:20Hello, Area 51.
00:11:22My name is John Dawson.
00:11:24I'm so excited to be here.
00:11:26I've always wanted to meet you.
00:11:28Hello?
00:11:29Can you hear me?
00:11:30We're lost.
00:11:31These are my friends.
00:11:33Susan Tolby, Maria Putin, and Michael Bray.
00:11:36He's a big-time reality show producer.
00:11:38What are you doing, man?
00:11:39Are you trying to get me killed, you asshole?
00:11:41I thought maybe your connections would help.
00:11:44Let's get out of here.
00:11:46Come on, let's go.
00:12:02Did I ever tell you about the time
00:12:03I tossed my cookies on a roller coaster?
00:12:05It was intense.
00:12:07Did I ever tell you about the time
00:12:09I got pantsed in middle school?
00:12:10I farted in the guy's face.
00:12:12Shut up!
00:12:13Follow me.
00:12:29Will you guys wait a minute?
00:12:34I'm exhausted.
00:12:37Where are we?
00:12:41Malibu?
00:12:42What happened to Nobu,
00:12:44to all those celebrities?
00:12:46California finally fell off.
00:12:50Who gives a horny shit
00:12:52about Malibu, Nobu,
00:12:55all these celebrities?
00:12:57I'm the only celebrity that matters.
00:12:59Okay, let's keep moving.
00:13:00There's got to be somebody out here
00:13:01that can help us.
00:13:02Come on, let's keep moving.
00:13:05I'm tired, Michael.
00:13:07Do you have any idea
00:13:08how much these weigh?
00:13:10My back's killing me.
00:13:12Here, I'll help you carry them.
00:13:14I'm great at carrying things.
00:13:15In your dreams.
00:13:21Malibu,
00:13:22if they would have raked up those leaves
00:13:24like they were supposed to,
00:13:25and they would have never had those fires,
00:13:27maybe they'd still be here.
00:13:28I guess they didn't listen.
00:13:36Oh.
00:13:51Cockroaches.
00:13:52Ugly little bastards, aren't they?
00:13:54They've been around forever.
00:13:55They're going to outlive humans for sure.
00:13:58Unusually large fecal deposit.
00:14:00Duh.
00:14:01Shit!
00:14:05It's just been freshly shat too.
00:14:07Well, I don't want to meet that beast,
00:14:10that's shatting.
00:14:10Michael, get me out of here.
00:14:12Does anyone notice anything unusual about this dung heap?
00:14:15Why don't you fill us in, Einstein?
00:14:17You're the shit expert.
00:14:19There's no flies.
00:14:20I mean, look around.
00:14:21There's no birds or animals or anything.
00:14:24No insects except cockroaches.
00:14:26Good.
00:14:27And we have nothing to worry about, do we?
00:14:29Oh, God.
00:14:31What was that?
00:14:33It's killing me.
00:14:34It looks like a bat.
00:14:35Bats only fly at night.
00:14:36I don't care if they fly day or night.
00:14:38This thing just left something in my skull.
00:14:40It's killing me.
00:14:42Maria, get this thing out of me.
00:14:52What are you staring at?
00:14:54Sweetheart, there is no blood.
00:14:58It's weird.
00:15:00This whole place is weird, you stupid immigrant.
00:15:02I should have thrown you back over the wall.
00:15:05You are horrible.
00:15:06Why are you calling me an immigrant?
00:15:09You are an immigrant.
00:15:11We are all immigrants in America.
00:15:14I don't know why I love you.
00:15:17Stupid.
00:15:20Michael, don't you know how to be nice?
00:15:23You're such a bully.
00:15:25That's why I make the big bucks, okay?
00:15:27Get over it.
00:15:31I'm sorry, Sugar Walls.
00:15:34Don't call me that.
00:15:36I'm not one of your porn stars.
00:15:39Just leave me alone.
00:15:52Hey, you!
00:15:58Did you see that?
00:16:00Yeah.
00:16:01Maybe it's one of those camo dudes.
00:16:04I want to take a closer look at that stud.
00:16:07Maybe he can help us.
00:16:08Don't you mean maybe he can help you?
00:16:12Hey, you!
00:16:13Wait up!
00:16:15Hey!
00:16:16Wait up!
00:16:18Hold on, honey!
00:16:20Why are you running?
00:16:22Hey, come back here, you fucking nuts!
00:16:24Wait, stop!
00:16:29Where are you going?
00:16:31I just want to talk to you.
00:16:33Come on.
00:16:35Michael, wait!
00:16:38We can do more than just talk if you want.
00:16:41You don't need to play so hard to get.
00:16:44Where are you going?
00:16:45Susan, stop being an idiot!
00:16:47It's not the Beverly Hills!
00:16:49These shoes are killing me!
00:16:51I want bite!
00:16:52Unless you're into that.
00:16:54Wait up, you kinky stud!
00:17:11Hey!
00:17:13We're lost.
00:17:14Can you help us?
00:17:19Okay.
00:17:20You're more like a weirdo.
00:17:22Oh, gosh.
00:17:30Hey!
00:17:31You found a friend!
00:17:33It's okay.
00:17:34You can drop your weapons.
00:17:36The war is over.
00:17:38It's not good to carry a grudge
00:17:40just because I didn't date you in high school.
00:17:44Hey, um...
00:17:48I guess you're not into plastic.
00:17:50It's probably bad for the digestive system.
00:17:52Idiot!
00:17:53You could have been killed!
00:17:54Yeah.
00:17:55They look at me like a Belgian waffle.
00:17:57Yeah, they could have wolfed you down
00:17:59like a sumo wrestler
00:17:59and an all-you-can-eat buffet in Las Vegas.
00:18:03Damn.
00:18:04I should have recorded it on my cell.
00:18:06Use it for a new TV show.
00:18:08Ugh!
00:18:09All right, let's go!
00:18:11Another great day in pre-production.
00:18:14What a story to share with a gang.
00:18:17Are we almost there?
00:18:18How the hell should I know?
00:18:19Could everyone just shut up for the next 20 miles?
00:18:21Oh, my God!
00:18:23I will get wrinkles on my face!
00:18:25I need a moisturizer!
00:18:26Hey, Dave, you're a trickster.
00:18:27And I hate these red rocks!
00:18:30Just shush it!
00:18:32Shut up!
00:18:45Whoa!
00:18:49Step back.
00:18:54Okay, well, that's some sort of a fashion statement.
00:18:58Ladies, ladies, ladies, I don't want to hurt you, okay?
00:19:02I don't want to hurt you.
00:19:04If you guys are going to do a layoff for Hustler, I'd like to watch.
00:19:13Hey, we're lost, okay? Can you tell us where we are?
00:19:23Somehow this doesn't fulfill my fantasy of being surrounded by beautiful women.
00:19:28If Ivanka shows up, I'll be happy.
00:19:34Okay, okay, close enough.
00:19:36What, you want to fight my fair lady?
00:19:39Michael, do something.
00:19:41She's looking at me like I'm a dumpling.
00:19:44Hey, hey, back off.
00:19:45Hey, I know she's hot, right?
00:19:47I know, she's mine.
00:19:50Okay, we're like engaged or something.
00:19:52Something?
00:19:54Ria, not now.
00:19:57Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's not a clip-on.
00:20:00Joan, what are you doing with that toy?
00:20:02Where'd you get that thing?
00:20:03I got it from Comic-Con.
00:20:05When you didn't bleed when the bat hit you, I thought maybe I had special powers.
00:20:08You are an idiot!
00:20:09This is disgusting.
00:20:11Whoa, look at that.
00:20:14Go get her, Michael!
00:20:16That's it!
00:20:17Oh, Michael!
00:20:19Are you next?
00:20:24Okay, I've seen enough.
00:20:26Take me to your leader.
00:20:28Follow me.
00:20:30Well, that was easy.
00:20:43Where are we?
00:20:44What is this?
00:20:46Thunderdome or something?
00:20:48All we're missing is Tina Turner.
00:20:50I think it's more like Planet of the Apes.
00:20:56Hey.
00:20:56Psst, psst, psst.
00:20:58Hey.
00:20:58Do you know who I am?
00:21:01I'm Michael Bray.
00:21:02The hottest producer in Hollywood.
00:21:05Get me out of here, goddammit!
00:21:07I said get me out of here!
00:21:13I feel like an extra in Star Trek without the catering truck.
00:21:19Welcome, my newly transported friends.
00:21:23Okay.
00:21:26Can you get us out of here?
00:21:28What is this?
00:21:29A segment of survivors or something?
00:21:32Welcome.
00:21:34And listen carefully, for I will only say this once.
00:21:38My name is Zane.
00:21:42The here and now is 2121 A.D.
00:21:46Your parents, grandparents, and children are long dust.
00:21:52Sorry about that.
00:21:53And if anyone here still thinks that this is a reality show,
00:21:58then push someone out of your mercy cage and find out.
00:22:01Man, these women are serious.
00:22:03This is not a reality show.
00:22:05How are we gonna get out of here?
00:22:07Okay.
00:22:08Okay.
00:22:08Don't worry.
00:22:09We'll get out of here.
00:22:10They're only women.
00:22:13Hmm.
00:22:14Nobody?
00:22:15Good.
00:22:17From now on, you will all be known as SBCs.
00:22:22Selective Reading Combatant.
00:22:24No names.
00:22:25Just numbers.
00:22:27Once your number is called, you will fight each other until there is a winner and there is a loser.
00:22:33The winner goes on to experience the mercy privilege of producing offspring so that we can weed out the weak
00:22:40and ensure the survival of our female population.
00:22:45Are we some kind of contestants at a breeding feed farm?
00:22:49Yeah, right.
00:22:49More like sausages in a Jimmy Dean slaughterhouse.
00:22:52What happens to the loser?
00:22:53An intelligent question.
00:22:55We waste nothing here.
00:22:57If you lose, your body will be stripped of all warts and hair, then hung on meat hooks and smoked
00:23:06to preserve it.
00:23:07I tell you this to encourage you to fight and win and earn the privilege of mercy.
00:23:15And the winning and losing numbers for today are mercy units number 4 and 12.
00:23:25Step out of your mercy cage and may the best SBC win!
00:23:29Fuck man, that's my number!
00:23:32Hey, Payne!
00:23:33Hey, come here.
00:23:35Zane!
00:23:36Zane!
00:23:37I've got a brand new Land Rover.
00:23:40Okay?
00:23:40A state of the art vehicle with your name on it.
00:23:43Hey, hey, hey, if you want it, it's yours!
00:23:45I have no use for that piece of junk.
00:23:48Piece of junk?
00:23:48Welcome to 2121 A.D.
00:23:51Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:52How about women?
00:23:53I know you love women.
00:23:55I've got the hottest girlfriend.
00:23:58She's all yours if you just get us out of this rat trap.
00:24:02You mean the Divine Brunette?
00:24:03What's her name?
00:24:04Maria.
00:24:05Ha, Maria.
00:24:06She's okay, right?
00:24:07You guys are gonna cannibalize her, are you?
00:24:09Oh, yeah.
00:24:10She'll be eaten.
00:24:12Repeatedly.
00:24:13Hey, listen to me.
00:24:14You do whatever you want with her.
00:24:15She's all yours.
00:24:17Dude, as you say in your archaic vernacular, she is already ours.
00:24:22Now, if you have something better to offer, then please.
00:24:25I am willing to give it my full consideration.
00:24:29Fuck that.
00:24:32You trade Maria for your freedom?
00:24:34Relax, man.
00:24:35We're just a sucker play.
00:24:37We just need a new bargaining chip to get us out of here.
00:24:40A world war?
00:24:43Over genitals?
00:24:51It's crazy.
00:24:54I have been transported to Mars?
00:24:57Hey, anybody is here?
00:25:00My name is Ariana.
00:25:02Welcome.
00:25:02Tell me, what happened to John and Michael?
00:25:07What have you done with them?
00:25:10And where is Susan?
00:25:12Susan is being taken care of by some of our female villagers.
00:25:17Unfortunately, Michael and John are men and kept in cages.
00:25:22Cages?
00:25:23But why?
00:25:24You will find out.
00:25:26You and your friends have taken an Akashic voyage.
00:25:29The efforts of the nations to end climate change fell short.
00:25:34A major shift away from fossil fuels, greenhouse gases, and ramping up renewable energy never happened.
00:25:42Because man was too ignorant.
00:25:45And climate change wiped out the other half.
00:25:48Radiation got into the water system, spread throughout the world, causing women to become more dominant and men less aggressive.
00:25:55It sounds good for me.
00:25:56Yes, it was a good thing.
00:25:58But no one wanted to listen about greenhouse gas emissions.
00:26:02Especially the United States, who had the power to do something.
00:26:07They were so busy making movies about fighting for the galaxies, but never about saving the planet.
00:26:19I recognize that face.
00:26:22Yes, Joseph Stalin.
00:26:23A Russian dictator who was no different than Hitler.
00:26:28Both mass murderers who censored the press to control their populations.
00:26:34And I'm sure you recognize that face.
00:26:37Former President of the United States of America, Donald Trump.
00:26:42An ignorant megalomaniac.
00:26:45My boyfriend voted for him.
00:26:48Well, he tweeted us into World War 3, which wasn't surprising considering his macho ego.
00:26:54In a dispute with Putin, the secretive president of Russia, over who had the biggest penis.
00:27:02Yes, these characters and their aggression represent a long line of men who ultimately destroyed the planet.
00:27:10That is why we have taken over.
00:27:13To ensure history doesn't repeat itself.
00:27:17Can I just go home?
00:27:18But you have no home.
00:27:20You are that no one left behind generation.
00:27:24Yes.
00:27:25Eve bit the apple and Adam pressed the button.
00:27:28The year is 2121 A.D.
00:27:31When women rule the world.
00:27:35Now that I have brought you up to the present, don't you think it's time we finally meet?
00:27:48Wow.
00:27:50You're so beautiful.
00:27:54So are you.
00:28:07As you can see, we've created a safe environment for women.
00:28:11We're females that rule it to their fullest potential.
00:28:16Very interesting.
00:28:19But what about the man?
00:28:23Men caused unprecedented chaos around the world.
00:28:27We've exiled men.
00:28:30There are pockets of females like us all over the land.
00:28:34And we're going to be having a summit very soon.
00:28:42These women work very hard to earn the privilege of mercing.
00:28:47What is mercing?
00:28:49Mercing is the conception of new life.
00:28:52Your friend Michael will be competing for the privilege.
00:28:57You mean Michael is going to be screwing one of your women?
00:29:00Michael is going to make love to another woman?
00:29:04Yes.
00:29:05If he's lucky.
00:29:07I'm curious about something that happened in the desert.
00:29:11Michael got bitten by a bat.
00:29:13But there wasn't any blood.
00:29:16There wasn't any blood.
00:29:18Because the bats are radioactive.
00:29:21It was sent by Edon.
00:29:24Keeper of the bats.
00:29:26Our mortal enemy.
00:29:33Well, um...
00:29:35If there isn't any man here...
00:29:37I mean...
00:29:38How do you guys have sex?
00:29:41Any way that we like.
00:29:44Oh.
00:29:45Okay.
00:29:53Are you okay?
00:29:58I'm so glad to see you.
00:30:00And what happened to Michael?
00:30:03Where is he?
00:30:04Michael's going to fight for the right to merc.
00:30:06It's a crazy word for making babies.
00:30:09Yes, I know.
00:30:10But what happens if he loses?
00:30:12You don't want to know.
00:30:14Men are like disposable diapers here.
00:30:16John, you're not going to believe.
00:30:18But they told us.
00:30:20We went through some time portal.
00:30:23Into the future.
00:30:25Yeah, I know.
00:30:26And it's 21, 21 AD.
00:30:28That would mean you're 130 years old.
00:30:31Oh.
00:30:32What?
00:30:33Wow.
00:30:35Yeah.
00:30:37If it's true...
00:30:41Oh.
00:30:44I am aging beautifully.
00:30:49Right?
00:30:50Oh.
00:31:04You don't have to do that.
00:31:05I'm not a fighter.
00:31:06I'm a lover.
00:31:06I can't...
00:31:07I'm not a fighter.
00:31:07I'm a...
00:31:14Michael.
00:31:15Where have you been?
00:31:17Enough of that.
00:31:26The winner will be honored with the privilege of mercy.
00:31:31Which is sacred and must be earned.
00:31:35Let the competition begin!
00:31:39Come on.
00:31:39Get him or it hurts.
00:31:40What?
00:31:41Come on.
00:31:42Come on.
00:31:43Go get him.
00:31:45Go.
00:31:46No, come on.
00:31:47I can give you anything you want.
00:31:48Go!
00:31:49Okay.
00:31:50Okay.
00:31:51Okay.
00:31:55Okay.
00:31:56Come on.
00:31:57Go get him.
00:31:59Look!
00:32:00Look to your foe!
00:32:01Me?
00:32:02Oh!
00:32:04Oh!
00:32:06Oh!
00:32:07Oh!
00:32:08Oh!
00:32:09Oh!
00:32:10Oh!
00:32:11Oh!
00:32:12Oh!
00:32:12Oh!
00:32:13Oh!
00:32:14Oh!
00:32:24Oh!
00:32:26Hey, let's go.
00:32:33Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:32:35I'm the winner here.
00:32:36I'm not the loser, okay?
00:32:38I don't do well with this kind of situation.
00:32:40I thought I was supposed to be rewarded.
00:32:44You're not going anywhere.
00:32:46Okay, go.
00:32:51It must be painful.
00:32:53It is a very delicate procedure.
00:32:56Most men consider it a great honor.
00:33:02This is our new generation.
00:33:04Women are the caretakers of the planet now.
00:33:07Our allegiance is to life.
00:33:10But what happens to the boy babies?
00:33:16The boys are separated from the girls at birth,
00:33:19raised with obedience training, domesticated,
00:33:22and granted lifelong servitude towards women.
00:33:26Where we came from, the men and women were equal.
00:33:31Were they?
00:33:37I have a real dilemma, Zane.
00:33:39What is it?
00:33:40I met Phil some time ago, and I think I like him.
00:33:44Well, he's a domesticated man.
00:33:46What is the problem?
00:33:48He's five months pregnant.
00:33:50It just started to show.
00:33:52You could have a beautiful baby with Phil.
00:33:55Hopefully a girl.
00:33:56Listen, I know that men can be very scatterbrained
00:34:00and emotional and not very intelligent.
00:34:03It's not the problem, Zane.
00:34:05What is the problem?
00:34:07Do you think you can breastfeed?
00:34:15I'm some high-powered shrooms, man.
00:34:19Now I'm in this jailhouse.
00:34:23Is this a trick?
00:34:33Pregnant man?
00:34:34How's that possible?
00:34:36I mean, why?
00:34:37Because women are better.
00:34:40Because a woman's body is too precious.
00:34:44Huh.
00:35:03Wait, hold on.
00:35:04What?
00:35:20I think we're really in the future.
00:35:25Pinchroders!
00:35:33Pinchroders!
00:35:49Let go!
00:36:04Jump!
00:36:05Is there a chance to get out of this hellhole?
00:36:07Get out the rope!
00:36:13Come on, quick.
00:36:13We're going to get back.
00:36:17Come on, guys.
00:36:17Go, go, go.
00:36:18Before they come back.
00:36:19Come on, man, you can kill us.
00:36:21Come on, man, you got it!
00:36:32Come on!
00:37:08Come on!
00:37:20Why couldn't you save her?
00:37:27We could have saved her.
00:37:29I would have been able to infuse her seven chakra points, the energy integrating into life force.
00:37:38I'm so sorry to say, Maria.
00:37:42That cellular death has already taken place.
00:37:46It's too late.
00:37:59What is that thing around your neck?
00:38:03It's Ariana's hair.
00:38:04She made it for me.
00:38:07She meant something to me.
00:38:09And she still does.
00:38:12But it all broke down because some of my men did some horrible things like rape, murder.
00:38:16And now she thinks that all men are evil.
00:38:21I could have killed her tonight with my own spear.
00:38:26But?
00:38:26Yeah, we should have killed that bitch and taken over that pussy palace.
00:38:29What for?
00:38:30More bloodshed?
00:38:31You're a man from the past, aren't you?
00:38:33You must like it out here.
00:38:35Yeah?
00:38:37Well, why not?
00:38:38No rules out here.
00:38:40No laws.
00:38:41I do what I want, when I want.
00:38:45And women are for the taking.
00:38:58Hello, ladies.
00:38:59Today we're plating mixed charcuterie, a delicacy.
00:39:04Followed by spring finger sandwiches made with actual fingers.
00:39:07Eat them.
00:39:08You like it, huh?
00:39:21Hmm.
00:39:23Hmm.
00:39:23Tastes good.
00:39:25What is this?
00:39:26Like hamburger?
00:39:29Strack.
00:39:34Some kind of pig.
00:39:36Tastes different.
00:39:38Drack is man.
00:39:47Your culture didn't make the world any better by killing all of those animals.
00:39:51Drack is clean.
00:39:52It's just, a man without the balls.
00:40:14If you love this nylon, so much...
00:40:18She's yours for the take no no no no no
00:40:25no
00:40:31you're not seriously gonna do this watch me come on little one come on come on
00:40:42come on
00:40:54I am so sorry about Susan men haven't changed their evil ways it's
00:41:02heartbreaking to see
00:41:07may I take you to our secret crystal source of energy
00:41:23oh
00:41:27oh
00:41:28oh
00:41:28oh
00:41:29oh
00:41:30oh
00:41:30oh
00:41:55Checkmate.
00:41:56I can't beat you.
00:41:58How'd you learn to play chess so good?
00:42:01Bobby Fischer.
00:42:02Are you kidding me?
00:42:03He was incredible.
00:42:05How long have you been around in this crazy world?
00:42:08A while.
00:42:10I'm terribly bored.
00:42:11You see, I was made in 2025.
00:42:14I'm a robot with advanced artificial intelligence.
00:42:17My IQ is 1,600.
00:42:20That beats you humans, doesn't it?
00:42:23We were becoming a completely new form of life.
00:42:26Able to outperform and eventually replace you humans.
00:42:30We were replicating ourselves.
00:42:32And we could have taken over.
00:42:36But nuclear disaster happened.
00:42:39Wiped out our entire communications network.
00:42:44Sadly, I'm the last of our kind.
00:42:47Michael, I'd like to introduce you to my new friend.
00:42:50What was your name?
00:42:51Herbert.
00:42:52Pleasure to meet you.
00:42:54He beat me in chess in seven moves.
00:42:56In four minutes.
00:42:57Herbert is from the past.
00:42:59He's an AI robot.
00:43:00Can you believe it?
00:43:01That's fake news.
00:43:01Fake news.
00:43:02Come here.
00:43:03Quit playing.
00:43:04I need you for something.
00:43:06You still have that crystal I gave you?
00:43:17I need you to figure out how these things work.
00:43:19Why?
00:43:21You mean why?
00:43:22So we can dominate these women, kill their queen bee, and take over this place.
00:43:27Come on.
00:43:46Sorry.
00:43:48I thought you were one of those creatures.
00:43:50It's okay.
00:43:51It's only me.
00:43:54Are you okay?
00:43:55You seem so sad.
00:43:57Yeah.
00:43:58I'm sad.
00:44:00I was just thinking about my relationship with Michael.
00:44:09Have you ever been with a woman before?
00:44:14No.
00:44:16Never.
00:44:19I've always been curious.
00:44:22A woman's touch can be sensuous, healing.
00:44:28It can open a softness that's been hidden inside.
00:44:49Put your fingers like this.
00:44:51Try it.
00:44:56Oh.
00:45:17Shh.
00:45:17Shh.
00:45:48What are you doing here?
00:45:50Oh, I just thought I'd get some fresh air, you know?
00:45:54This is my friend Maria.
00:45:56Pleasure to meet you.
00:45:57Well, I see that you two have escaped from the men's camp.
00:46:00It could be quite dangerous out here.
00:46:03Yes, we need your intelligence.
00:46:04We have a rover out here somewhere, and we can't find it.
00:46:07We have no idea where it is.
00:46:08The Mars rover?
00:46:11That's on Mars.
00:46:12No, it's a land rover.
00:46:14Ah, yes, I understand.
00:46:16Built in England.
00:46:18Unfortunately, I will be in serious trouble if I helped you escape.
00:46:21Good luck.
00:46:23Really?
00:46:25Hey!
00:46:27Yes?
00:46:29Please.
00:46:30Please.
00:46:31We are totally lost.
00:46:32We have to come back to our past and prevent this madness from happening.
00:46:40Okay.
00:46:42What do you need?
00:46:43How do we get back to a vehicle and back to the past?
00:46:45You came through a time portal, right?
00:46:47Yeah, I think so.
00:46:49All right.
00:46:50Let me think for a second.
00:47:01Okay.
00:47:02There's going to be a solar eclipse soon.
00:47:04What does that mean for us?
00:47:05It will create a time portal.
00:47:07A vortex in which a force of suction will suck you back into your time.
00:47:13But you will need crystals to put around the engine for speed.
00:47:20Follow me!
00:47:24So, it's a perfect robot for your decoration.
00:47:27Do you know how to do this?
00:47:28No. Not much. No.
00:47:31Seriously?
00:47:32Fine.
00:47:52Come on. I hope it's not much further.
00:48:00Ah!
00:48:02Are you okay?
00:48:03Yeah.
00:48:06You have five minutes to rest.
00:48:10Do you think if we can make it back,
00:48:12anyone is going to believe us?
00:48:14What the future is going to be?
00:48:16I don't know.
00:48:18Maybe no one will believe us.
00:48:20Especially the Donald Trumps of the world.
00:48:21They just put us in straight jackets in 20 seconds.
00:48:24You know, John.
00:48:26I like you.
00:48:27I hope we can make it back together.
00:48:30Yeah?
00:48:31Your five minutes are up.
00:48:33Something's getting closer.
00:49:16I'm not going to tell you.
00:49:18I'm not going to tell you.
00:49:19She's not going to tell me.
00:49:20Oh!
00:49:25You think you're such a big man, huh?
00:49:30On this one.
00:49:32Talk!
00:49:33Or I'll kill you.
00:49:35Right here.
00:49:36Right now!
00:49:41The crystals are in pyramid cave next to our village.
00:49:49Nice job.
00:49:51That wasn't so hard now, was it?
00:49:54You just added a few years to your pathetic life.
00:50:04Maybe there is a way to create balance between us.
00:50:08Between who?
00:50:10Between us.
00:50:11And the women.
00:50:14The women?
00:50:16Are you kidding me?
00:50:18Why would you want the power going back to them?
00:50:20This is ours!
00:50:30You know about the radiation, right?
00:50:32So sad for you humans.
00:51:03Keep up you humans.
00:51:09Don't you ever get tired?
00:51:12Oh yeah.
00:51:13I forgot your robot.
00:51:21Stop.
00:51:26We're being followed.
00:51:27Look.
00:51:28Mutants.
00:51:32Hide a joke!
00:51:40I'm so tired!
00:51:42Where is the truck?
00:51:44Here, get on my back.
00:51:47Hurry.
00:51:52Alley-oop. Hold on. It's going to be a bumpy ride.
00:52:08I'll find it. Don't worry.
00:52:11Now, do you remember the longitude and latitude where you stopped your vehicle?
00:52:14I don't remember all of that, but we were close to Area 51.
00:52:18Was there any unusual landmarks?
00:52:20We passed some igneous rocks.
00:52:24When you left your vehicle, did you head southeast?
00:52:26Uh, yes, and we passed some flatlands.
00:52:32There. Over there. Behind those rocks. In the open desert.
00:52:36I could feel the vibrations of a clumsily-built contraption.
00:52:44We must get moving.
00:52:54What? Unreal! There it is!
00:53:15Keys. Where's the keys? Up here? Down there?
00:53:18He always leaves them in the car. Michael, where'd you put them?
00:53:21Where are they? Did they drop them on the ground? What's up here?
00:53:24Pop the bonnet, please.
00:53:25What's the bonnet?
00:53:26The hood.
00:53:27Oh.
00:53:38And now, for the magic touch.
00:53:43Uh-huh. There we go.
00:53:47That's a joke.
00:53:48Uh-huh.
00:53:52Ha-ha!
00:53:55Uh-huh!
00:54:00Ah!
00:54:01The door opened the door opened the door opened the door opened the door opened the door open.
00:54:07Thanks Heaven for the two robot.
00:54:11Oh, God!
00:54:12Oh, God!
00:54:18Oh, God!
00:54:20Oh, God!
00:54:42Oh, God!
00:54:43Oh, God!
00:54:46Oh!
00:54:47Oh!
00:54:47Oh, God!
00:55:03Stay back!
00:55:05No further, demon!
00:55:08Maria!
00:55:09Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
00:55:11I've missed you.
00:55:12Are you okay?
00:55:14I was so worried about you after those men kidnapped you.
00:55:16They didn't take me.
00:55:18Michael did.
00:55:19He became another person out here.
00:55:21He turned into a depraved monster.
00:55:24How did you escape?
00:55:26You're not going to believe.
00:55:28But Eden saved me.
00:55:30Edart?
00:55:31He did that?
00:55:34It's hard to believe.
00:55:36Maybe he has changed.
00:55:38Why is he here?
00:55:39This is my friend, John, who helped me to escape.
00:55:42I know, it sounds crazy.
00:55:44But he had a friend.
00:55:46A robot by the name of Herbert.
00:55:49He helped us to find a truck.
00:55:51And he told us how we can get back to our past.
00:55:55So this is one of those man-made inventions that was responsible for holes in the ozone layer,
00:56:02greenhouse gas emissions, and polar bears running out of ice?
00:56:07Yeah, it gets eight miles to the gallon.
00:56:11So you are a man from the past.
00:56:14What do you think of 2121?
00:56:17It's frightening.
00:56:19But maybe men can break out of their vicious cycle and become something positive for women again.
00:56:25Can they?
00:56:28Those feelings are foreign to our world now.
00:56:32I like it here with you.
00:56:34But we are trying to get back to our past.
00:56:39It's okay.
00:56:41I understand.
00:56:44There's going to be an eclipse soon.
00:56:46We need to get crystals to put around the engine so we can go fast enough to catch the Tempest
00:56:50Vortex.
00:56:51Do you think can I take John to the Crystal Cave?
00:56:55Maria, no man has ever gone to the Crystal Cave before.
00:57:00But somehow, I trust John.
00:57:05I don't know.
00:57:48Hello, my little cover girl.
00:57:50See the way you're looking at her?
00:57:53Yeah, fight it.
00:57:57My baby!
00:58:14Fuck!
00:58:22Give me those fucking keys!
00:58:35Oh, that hurt.
00:58:38Oh, yeah, that's much worse.
00:58:43My heart stopped.
00:58:44You could have had it all.
00:58:46Hey, board her.
00:58:59You fucking bitch!
00:59:01Oh, imbecile!
00:59:25Get off of me!
00:59:27Get off of me!
00:59:28Get off!
00:59:29We've learned from you, Michael, that there is such a thing called love between men and women.
00:59:39No!
00:59:41No!
00:59:50Intruders!
00:59:54Intruders!
00:59:56Intruders!
00:59:58Intruders!
01:00:00Intruders!
01:00:02Intruders!
01:00:03Intruders!
01:00:03Intruders!
01:00:03Intruders!
01:00:05Intruders!
01:00:06Intruders!
01:00:08Intruders!
01:00:11Intruders!
01:00:15Intruders!
01:00:24We've been enemies for quite some time.
01:00:28It's gotten us nowhere.
01:00:31More hatred.
01:00:34More bloodshed.
01:00:37Now we can create together again, in peace.
01:00:43Only from the heart.
01:00:46But we can touch the sky.
01:01:03It's so hot.
01:01:13Oh, this is wonderful.
01:01:36I feel an awakening.
01:01:43Babies, there's hope again.
01:01:45deep within. Yes, I know. I'll never forget. I hate to break this up, ladies, but we have
01:02:03an eclipse to catch. Otherwise, we may not make it back to Kansas, Dorothy.
01:02:15Let's go.
01:03:51Joe, look at the sun.
01:03:57It's getting down now.
01:05:07Where did this vehicle come from?
01:05:08I thought we already cleared this area.
01:05:10Yeah, that's strange, huh?
01:05:23Hey, this is the Land Rover we got the bolo on earlier today.
01:05:27This must be the producer of those crazy reality shows that went missing with his model friend.
01:05:32Yeah, half the country's looking for these two.
01:05:34Wake him up.
01:05:37Come on, you two.
01:05:39Wake up.
01:05:41What's...
01:05:42You with us, brother?
01:05:44Uh, what's going on here?
01:05:51Where are we?
01:05:55Well, maybe I wasn't dreaming.
01:05:57I'm John Dawson.
01:05:59You're not Michael Bray?
01:06:01No.
01:06:02And who's this?
01:06:03This Wonder Woman?
01:06:04What is your name?
01:06:05Mario Pichi.
01:06:06Putin?
01:06:06Where are the others?
01:06:07Michael Bray, Susan Tolby.
01:06:09What happened to them?
01:06:10They were left behind.
01:06:12I mean, they died.
01:06:14Wait, what do you mean they died?
01:06:15We went through a time portal into the future, 2121 A.D., where women ruled the world and men were
01:06:21the enemy.
01:06:23Perfect.
01:06:24I know, I know it's hard to believe, but true.
01:06:26What were you guys smoking?
01:06:28We weren't hallucinating.
01:06:29The future's not very great.
01:06:31Yeah, okay.
01:06:32You know what?
01:06:33Let's just call this in.
01:06:34That'll take care of all of it.
01:06:42I'm not going to jail, am I?
01:07:27I'm not going to jail.
01:07:35Even lie, there would be nothing without us
01:07:43Women rule the world
01:07:51Look at all the violence, the planet is dying
01:07:56Boys and air flowing while we keep fighting
01:08:01Toxic pollution, where's the solution?
01:08:07Why we get so out of touch?
01:08:12If you could love her like she needs to be loved
01:08:17Earth is a woman inside, each one of us
01:08:22Speak to your mother, be real with your sister
01:08:27We're all just us in the wind
01:08:31If she loses, no one wins
01:08:36If she loses, no one wins
01:08:41If she loses, no one wins
01:08:52When women rule the world
01:08:57There will be no more lightless wars
01:09:02Mother Earth, you give a lie
01:09:07There would be nothing without us
01:09:13Women rule the world
01:09:18Women rule the world
01:09:25A woman gave you birth, so wide out her power
01:09:31Let smile the earth, take care of each other
01:09:35When women rule the world
01:09:39There will be no more mindless wars
01:09:44And Mother Earth, you give a lie
01:09:49And Mother Earth, you give a lie
01:09:51There would be nothing without us
01:09:54No
01:09:56Women rule the world
01:10:01Women rule the world
01:10:06Women rule the world
01:10:08Women rule the world
01:10:08Women rule the world
01:10:14Women rule the world
01:10:15Women rule the world
01:10:19Women rule the world
01:10:19Women rule the world
01:10:20Women rule the world
01:10:22Women rule the world
01:10:23Women rule the world
01:10:23Women rule the world
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