00:00You ever notice how your fridge acts like it owns the house?
00:03Every time you open it, it blasts that cold air in your face like,
00:07Oh, sorry, did you pay the electricity bill?
00:10No? Then get out!
00:12And the fridge light?
00:13Oh, that's pure attitude!
00:15It's like it's saying,
00:17Here, let me spotlight the shameful yogurt you bought six months ago and never ate!
00:22And don't even get me started on the microwave!
00:25That thing is dramatic!
00:26You press one button, and it's already spinning like it's performing Swan Lake!
00:30Then it beeps at you like,
00:32Hey, your food is ready!
00:34Hey, it's getting cold!
00:35Hey, I'm lonely!
00:37Like, calm down, buddy, I just went to grab a fork!
00:41Meanwhile, the toaster is sitting there like the ultimate daredevil!
00:44You put bread in, and it's basically saying,
00:46Place your bets, people!
00:48Will I lightly toast this bread?
00:50Or turn it into volcanic ash?
00:53And then, it launches your breakfast into the air!
00:56Like it's competing in the bread olympics!
00:58Let's talk about chairs!
01:00Chairs are smug!
01:02They know you need them,
01:03So they creak dramatically every time you sit like,
01:06Ugh, really?
01:07Again?
01:08You couldn't stand for five minutes?
01:10And if it's a wooden chair,
01:12It doesn't even try to be comfortable!
01:14It's like sitting on a medieval torture device that's quietly judging your posture!
01:20And shoes!
01:21Oh, shoes are two-faced!
01:23They smile at you in the store!
01:25Like,
01:26Oh yes, we are so stylish!
01:28We are so comfy!
01:30We are the shoes for you!
01:32Then, three hours into wearing them,
01:35They're like,
01:36Surprise!
01:36We're actually razor blades wrapped in leather!
01:39Good luck walking, sucker!
01:42Now, socks!
01:43Socks are straight-up criminals!
01:45You buy them in pairs!
01:46You wash them in pairs!
01:48But somehow,
01:49One always escapes!
01:51Where do they go?
01:52Nobody knows!
01:54Probably living their best life somewhere under the dryer,
01:57Sipping margaritas,
01:58And laughing at you while you pair a striped sock with a polka-dotted one like a desperate clown!
02:04And laptops?
02:05Laptops act like they're geniuses, but they're petty little divas!
02:09You ask them to run one program, and they're fine!
02:13You open three tabs, and suddenly, they're panting like they just ran a marathon!
02:19Oh my god!
02:20Google Docs and YouTube?
02:23I can't!
02:24I literally cannot!
02:25Calm down!
02:27You're not saving the world!
02:28You're just loading cat videos!
02:30Phones are even worse!
02:32Phones are manipulative!
02:33They're like,
02:34Your battery is at 1%!
02:37You're gonna die!
02:38Plug me in now!
02:39You panic!
02:40You scramble!
02:41You plug it in,
02:42And then suddenly,
02:43It jumps to 14%!
02:45Oh wow!
02:46So you were lying to me this whole time?
02:50Gaslighting in my pocket!
02:51And don't even get me started on alarms!
02:54Alarms are actual demons!
02:57They don't care about your dreams,
02:59Your hopes,
03:00Or the fact that you finally fell asleep at 3am!
03:03They just scream like a banshee!
03:05Wake up or else!
03:08And then,
03:09You hit snooze!
03:10And it's like,
03:11Fine!
03:12I'll let you think you're in control!
03:14But I'll be back!
03:15Stronger!
03:16Louder!
03:17Angrier!
03:18Now let's talk about couches!
03:20Couches are sneaky!
03:22They lure you in with,
03:24Just sit for a minute!
03:25And the next thing you know,
03:27You've been there for 6 hours!
03:29Binge watching some show you don't even like!
03:31Eating crumbs!
03:32That will live in those cushions forever!
03:36And when you finally stand up,
03:38The couch holds onto your body print,
03:40Like it's saying,
03:41Yeah!
03:41I own you now!
03:43Oh,
03:44And let's not forget,
03:45Pens!
03:46Pens are pathological liars!
03:48They work perfectly on your hand,
03:51When you doodle something stupid!
03:53But the second you need them,
03:54To sign something important,
03:56They're like,
03:57Ink?
03:59Never heard of her!
04:01And then,
04:02They roll away,
04:03Dramatically off the desk,
04:05Like they're starring in an action movie!
04:07And umbrellas!
04:09Ugh!
04:10Umbrellas are backstabbers,
04:12They pretend,
04:13They're gonna protect you,
04:14But the second,
04:15The wind picks up,
04:17They fold inside out,
04:18Like they've just surrendered,
04:20Like,
04:21Thanks a lot,
04:21Umbrella!
04:22Glad you joined the other team,
04:24Hope you're happy,
04:25Now that I look like Mary Poppins,
04:27In a fist fight!
04:29And finally,
04:31Vacuums!
04:32Vacuums are drama queens,
04:34They roar like a jet engine,
04:36Sucking up everything in sight,
04:38Crumbs,
04:38Dust,
04:39That one lego,
04:40You swore you needed,
04:42But,
04:42The second you actually point them,
04:44At something important,
04:46Like a chunk of cereal,
04:47Suddenly they're weak,
04:49Oh no,
04:49Too heavy,
04:50Can't do it,
04:51Really?
04:52You inhaled a shoelace,
04:5310 seconds ago,
04:54But a cheerio is too much?
04:56Pathetic!
04:57So yeah,
04:59Objects are dramatic,
05:00Selfish,
05:01Manipulative,
05:02And honestly,
05:03If they could talk,
05:04They'd be the worst reality show cast in history,
05:07But hey,
05:08At least they make us laugh,
05:10While they ruin our lives,
05:16I'm so worried,
05:18I'm so worried,
05:20I'm so worried,
06:10And when you think,
06:17Come here!
06:21Ah!
06:30Hey!
06:38Hey!
06:41Hi!
07:04Hey!
07:08Hey!
07:11Hey!
07:13Hey!
07:14Hey!
07:17Hey!
07:20Hey!
07:22Hey!
07:24Huh?
07:25Hmm?
07:27Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
07:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:16I knew.
08:21Nice color.
08:23A little pinky
08:28Wow, it's a magic
08:49Get your boots up
08:52Woo
08:52Uh-uhΠΎΠ²
09:18Oh
09:43Yum, yum, you are the food
09:51It's a gym, bitch
10:00It's all ready
10:03Do that
10:06Drinkery
10:07Oh, no
10:10Oh, wow
10:12Oh, wow
10:26Hello
10:27Oh, wow
10:43We will, we will rock you
10:49Hmm, who do you need, Ben?
10:51Hmm, who do you need, Ben?
11:03Okay, yeah
11:06Yeah, yeah.
11:08Hi, cool.
11:11One more.
11:12Stop.
11:12Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
11:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
11:58Let's check it.
12:02One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
12:11Ah, ah.
12:16Ah, ah.
12:18Oh, ooh, ooh.
12:32Booty's empty, huh?
12:38Hi, my friend.
13:04They don't think they want to do it.
13:11It's up to you again and you get up all the way!
13:26Just phone and now we have to get up with you.
13:31Ha, ha, ha.
13:36Ha, ha, ha.
13:43Ha, ha, ha.
13:56And take two.
14:02Do it slowly.
14:33One more!
14:56Huh?
14:57Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh?
15:01Uh-uh, uh-uh?
15:06Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh?
15:11Huh?
15:11Oh-oh!
15:13Oh, yes!
15:13Oh, wow!
15:17Whoa!
15:19Whoa!
15:22Whoa!
15:23No!
15:26No!
15:28No!
15:29No!
15:29No!
15:31No!
15:31No!
15:34No!
15:35No!
15:39No!
15:42I love it more!
15:45Achoo!
15:47No!
15:49Can I give it to me, please?
15:51Oh!
15:54Oh!
16:03Oh!
16:03Hehehehe!
16:05Hehehehe!
16:06Oh!
16:09Ahh!
16:11Eeeh!
16:12And the boss swing me!
16:16Eeeh!
16:18Eeeh!
16:19Hmm.
16:23Uh, oh!
16:25Oh, oh!
16:27Oh!
16:29Oh!
16:31Oh!
16:33More?
16:34Oh, yay!
16:38Hmm.
16:43Hmm.
16:48Hmm.
16:48Hmm.
16:52Hmm.
16:57Hmm.
17:10Huh?
17:11Huh?
17:12Huh?
17:12It hurts me.
17:19Tootie Buck!
17:44Hey!
17:45I'm sorry.
17:48Uh-oh. Sorry.
18:14Uh-oh.
18:15Uh-oh.
18:19My love. My queen.
18:21Uh-oh.
18:28Huh?
18:30Uh-oh.
18:33Uh-oh.
18:37Uh-oh.
18:38Uh-oh.
18:41Uh-oh.
18:43Uh-oh.
18:53Uh-oh.
18:55Uh-oh.
18:56Uh-oh.
18:57Spire feet by ball.
18:59I don't need your channel.
19:02Ha!
19:03Ha!
19:06Huh?
19:08Huh?
19:09Uh-oh.
19:10Uh-oh.
19:13Uh-oh.
19:16Uh-oh.
19:17Are you plantates?
19:19Uh-oh.
19:21Uh-oh.
19:24Uh-oh.
19:26Uh-oh.
19:28You look great!
19:29Thank you so much!
19:32Oh, hi!
19:58Oh, hi!
20:01Today humans are going to the park!
20:03Honey, take the pineapple please!
20:05We need pie too!
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