00:00When Josh was talking to me this morning
00:02and was trying to, like, tell me all his feelings
00:05with, like, my drinking and my behavior,
00:07he said, I'm disappointed in you multiple times.
00:11And it just made me feel really defeated and sad.
00:16I'm worried I'll never change and I'll ruin my life.
00:19Like, you keep saying this whenever bad stuff happens.
00:23Like, do you actually think Josh is gonna dump you?
00:27I think I'm pushing the limits.
00:30Why do you think he keeps forgiving you?
00:33I think she thinks we're, like, a good match long-term
00:36and that I'd be a good partner.
00:38But I think he's also overlooking my repeated behavior.
00:43But I think eventually he might not.
00:46I do have a fear that Josh will leave me
00:48or get sick of my shenanigans.
00:50And I think with, like, OCD, it's, like,
00:53I think about it, like, a lot more
00:55and I, like, just, like, replays in my brain.
00:58So it took, the fear is torturing me
01:00instead of me, like, actually taking good steps to fix it.
01:06So, like, if he stops forgiving you, how would that feel?
01:09That would, like, break my heart and I would not.
01:12I don't know.
01:14I think I'd be in a really bad place.
01:18And I don't want to mess this up because I love him.
01:21Despite us fighting and stuff, I do love him.
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