Bald Brothers: A Freestyle Comedy Show - Stagione 1 Episodio 03: New York, NY Eng Sub
▶ Bald Brothers: A Freestyle Comedy Show - Season 1 - Episode 03: New York, NY Eng Sub
Bald Brothers: A Freestyle Comedy Show - Stagione 1 Episodio 03: New York, NY Eng Sub. episodi completi in italiano. #FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta
#FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta #ShortDrama #ReelShort
🔤 Attiva i sottotitoli / Enable subtitles (CC)
▶ Bald Brothers: A Freestyle Comedy Show - Season 1 - Episode 03: New York, NY Eng Sub
Bald Brothers: A Freestyle Comedy Show - Stagione 1 Episodio 03: New York, NY Eng Sub. episodi completi in italiano. #FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta
#FilmCompleto #DramaItaliano #SerieCompleta #ShortDrama #ReelShort
🔤 Attiva i sottotitoli / Enable subtitles (CC)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:04Doobie, doobie.
00:07New York!
00:10We got Tim's on for y'all, man.
00:13We got Tim's on. We got Tim's on.
00:16You heard?
00:17Big Tim.
00:23I won't feel like a real New Yorker until I can stand on the subway train without holding the rail.
00:30Cause y'all be taking it.
00:39That train be doing all this. Y'all ain't grab nothing.
00:43I'm going to the crib, son.
00:45Get me mad tight out here. I ain't grabbing nothing.
00:49Man, how y'all do that, man?
00:50You gotta be in the knees. You gotta get your knees going.
00:53I be holding on for dear life.
00:55As soon as I get in, I grab the pole before I even step in.
01:01I'm from out of town, guys.
01:04I'm from out of town!
01:07I be strip teasing in that bitch.
01:09Pole dancing.
01:11If y'all never been to a Bar Brothers show, this is how it works.
01:13This show is entirely freestyled.
01:15Everything we talk about is something y'all suggested on the QR codes here.
01:18If the show sucks, it's your fault.
01:21Y'all want us to talk about why I didn't know about Anita Baker as a kid.
01:26And it's because of the church.
01:28Like, I don't think people understand how religious we were.
01:31Like, it was no...
01:33If it wasn't gospel...
01:35Come on, Tone.
01:36If it wasn't gospel, we couldn't even listen to it.
01:39I didn't even know Anita Baker did a song.
01:41The name of the album was Rapture.
01:43Nah, man.
01:46You would have known that already if you was a real fan, son.
01:48She wasn't talking about the Lord's Rapture, man.
01:51That was blues.
01:52That was R&B.
01:53We couldn't do that.
01:54That's why I didn't know Anita Baker.
01:56Why, Tone, man, he don't want to tell you.
01:57Because I went to her concert and she recognized me.
01:59I got to go backstage and meet Anita Baker.
02:02And you loved her your whole life.
02:03And you never met her.
02:05And I was backstage because Jesus loved me more!
02:10Favor ain't fair, nigga!
02:14Alright, come on out, Florence.
02:17Hell yeah, Florence.
02:18Hi, Florence, how are you?
02:19Have a seat.
02:20Praise the Lord.
02:20Welcome, son.
02:21Woman.
02:22Daughter.
02:22Yeah, we right here.
02:23Y'all don't say daughter.
02:24It's all son.
02:25Son is universal.
02:26Word.
02:27Word to my mother, man.
02:28Alright, Florence.
02:30What's something mainstream would consider a green flag in a relationship but somehow
02:33still gives you the ick?
02:36Okay, so, people that are like, you know, really, really into fitness.
02:41So, like, you running ultramarathons, you got a strict diet.
02:46Why you looking at me when you said that?
02:50Yeah, Florence.
02:51I'm on your side.
02:52Keep going, son.
02:53You got a strict diet.
02:54Like, I can't...
02:55Like, maybe you intermittent fast and you only eat avocado toast at the same time and smoothie
02:59bowls and then fruit and then tofu every single day.
03:02Things like that.
03:03Nobody in specific, man, but just certain people.
03:06Maybe sometimes you have a biscuit here and there, but that's like once a quarter.
03:10I can't be with someone who can't smell the fried chicken I'm eating in the room.
03:13It's crazy.
03:16So, strict diet and fitness overall, like abs and stuff, you hate those, right?
03:21You trying to put words in my mouth.
03:23You trying to put words in my mouth.
03:24I'm just asking.
03:25I ask.
03:28I have no smoke.
03:29I got no straps for nobody, okay?
03:35Why does that give you the it?
03:39Because, like, you could be healthy, but I'm not trying to look at you saying that, no,
03:44we can't go to this restaurant because I have these macros I have to hit.
03:48Or maybe you, like, pull your phone out and you be scanning stuff like, oh, I want to try this
03:51scan.
03:52Oh, it has too much stupid glycerin or whatever Tony be saying.
03:56I mean, anybody, not Tony specifically.
03:59Oh, I don't know if I can.
04:01The app told me no.
04:02Y'all having a good ass time.
04:05So your bitch ass is laid up in the hospital talking about health is wealth, y'all.
04:10Pray for me because your diet is fucked off.
04:14Fuck y'all.
04:16I hope you flatline on your bad ass choice that you wanted to stand ten toes down in.
04:21And don't be asking me for no tips when you're down for the count.
04:26Sick of y'all, man.
04:29But not you.
04:32So would you, could you be in a relationship with somebody who was super fitnessy like that?
04:35Or you would just be like, I gotta go?
04:37Nah, I can't do that.
04:39You would break up with him or her or them or they?
04:43I would and I have.
04:44You have?
04:45Yes.
04:46What'd you tell him?
04:47You eat order kale one more time, I swear to God.
04:50We done.
04:51What'd you say when you broke up?
04:53Did you tell him the truth or you said something else?
04:54She said something else.
04:56It's not you, it's me.
04:59I'm just looking for something different in my life.
05:03Fried chicken is the thing I'm looking for.
05:06I want a greasy spoon ass nigga.
05:11What'd you tell him?
05:12Eh, what'd he say?
05:13What'd he say?
05:14I mean, the man was also vegan.
05:16Like, I can't listen.
05:17That wasn't a...
05:19Sick of this shit, man.
05:22Sick of it, man.
05:23Vegetables McGee over here!
05:27Sick of it, man.
05:28I'm vegetarian, by the way.
05:30I'm vegan.
05:30I'm not vegan.
05:32So, is this a deal breaker for you now?
05:34Yes.
05:35So, could you do like a little out of shape man,
05:37but he know where to get the best pancakes golden diner?
05:40That's...
05:40I actually prefer that.
05:42You know, everybody don't have to be in shape in the world.
05:44No.
05:44Y'all show some love for Florence, man.
05:46Might be the best...
05:46Man, get her out of here, man.
05:48The best guest we ever had on the Bob Brothers show, man.
05:50That's what I'm talking about.
05:51You a cold piece.
05:52You a cold piece.
05:53Hell yeah, Florence.
05:54Get your ass out of here, Florence.
05:57All right, Shantae, come on, Shantae.
05:59Yeah, Shantae, what you got in here?
06:03Tequila.
06:03Ooh, tequila?
06:04That's a lot of tequila.
06:06Double shot, bro.
06:07Oh, damn, you hammered right now.
06:10You hammering nails.
06:11She gonna be on the subway like...
06:15They gonna be like, ma'am, you ain't on the subway.
06:17You just on the platform.
06:20You haven't taken a train.
06:21It's also 3 a.m.
06:22Oh, snap.
06:23I thought I was at home.
06:25Look at Florence sitting back there.
06:30All right, Shantae, what's something that gets on your last nerves and why?
06:34I said knock me, people.
06:36Baby, I'm sorry.
06:38My husband's over there.
06:40I'm so sorry.
06:41Did your husband knock me?
06:41Will your husband knock me?
06:43Oh.
06:44I'm sorry if I had said anything.
06:46Let me see your knees, dog.
06:47I'm sorry.
06:48Now knock me.
06:49He's not.
06:49He's a military man.
06:50He's fit.
06:51He's good.
06:51Okay.
06:52Why are you apologizing to him?
06:54This is not her first tequila.
06:55Listen, she done had a couple.
06:56Does he know I'm a menace?
06:57So...
06:58You a menace?
06:59Yeah.
06:59Oh.
07:00Tequila.
07:00I'm one of 12 kids.
07:02I'm a menace.
07:02One of 12?
07:03Now your parents was getting busy.
07:05So watching knock me people walk bothers you?
07:08Yeah.
07:11What is it about them walking?
07:14Cuz...
07:14Okay.
07:15All right, y'all.
07:15All right.
07:15Hear me out.
07:18You can get the knees fixed, baby.
07:20There's too much going on.
07:23Like, like, if one good wind hits you, you done.
07:28They got good balance.
07:29Uh-uh.
07:29You going down like the Titanic, baby.
07:31So like Kenny Smith is too much knock me for you.
07:34Knees.
07:35Denise Smith.
07:36So what you gonna do when you dance and just this?
07:40I feel like they can still move with the knock knees.
07:43No?
07:44She drunk as hell, Tom.
07:45She hammered.
07:48She just...
07:48Wait, are you knock knees?
07:49Let me see you walk.
07:51Now walk regularly.
07:52Now let me see if you can just walk straight.
07:54No, don't change your walk up.
07:56That's not how you regularly walk.
07:57She was putting something on it.
07:59Walk like you regularly walk.
08:01She was like, okay, now what I want you to do is look at me,
08:04put your finger on your nose.
08:07Step this foot back.
08:09Count backwards from 10.
08:10I can't balance my balance.
08:11Yeah, because you didn't have a little bit of injury.
08:13I'm going, man.
08:13All right, come on with me.
08:14We're going to take you to the police subway train.
08:17My husband used to be military police.
08:19He used to be what?
08:20Oh, military police?
08:21Yeah.
08:22Is he knock-kneed?
08:23No.
08:24All right, you sure?
08:25Yes.
08:25All right.
08:26You wouldn't date a knock-kneed man?
08:28No.
08:29No?
08:29That's a deal breaker?
08:31Yeah.
08:31So if you rolled up at the club, like, I see you over here shorting with your tequila sunrise.
08:36The reason why I say that is I did date a knock-kneed man and it irked my soul.
08:39That's what it's all about.
08:40The origin story is you had a bad experience with a knock-kneed nigga and now you out here judging
08:46the knock-kneed community.
08:47Was he good overall?
08:49I mean, was he a good man, but he just had bad knees?
08:54Like, did he love you and you were just like, but the knees, man, I can't do the knees.
08:59He was cool.
09:01The knees took him out of it?
09:03That and some other stuff, yeah.
09:06Oh, see.
09:07What's the other stuff?
09:09Bad breath.
09:11You can't have two things now.
09:12That's crazy.
09:13Bad breath and knock-kneed?
09:14If you got knock-kneed, your breath gotta be pristine.
09:16You can't be like...
09:20Your breath smell like subway air, man.
09:22This is crazy.
09:23Because then you smell the breath and he in your face and then you trying to recover from that.
09:28And then you watching him walk away from you.
09:31No, yeah, no.
09:32That's out of pocket.
09:33Like, man, fuck this, man.
09:33That's double out of pocket.
09:35Like, sir, at least you some gong.
09:38Yeah.
09:39Breath is a deal breaker for me.
09:40Hey, one more question, Shontay.
09:41Then we gonna let you sober up.
09:42I mean, get back to your seat.
09:45She hammered, y'all.
09:46It's almost full.
09:47I'm sober.
09:48I promise.
09:49Hey, man.
09:50What's the pettiest reason you've ended a relationship?
09:54Just getting a light.
09:55Say what?
09:56See, a sober person would've heard me.
09:59What's the pettiest reason?
10:00You hit hard.
10:01What's the pettiest reason?
10:02Like, she got boy cousins.
10:03That's that mother of 12 kids.
10:04Y'all was fighting.
10:05People with a lot of siblings be strong as hell, man.
10:07You gotta fight for breakfast.
10:09Like, that's my bacon.
10:10You gotta fight to survive.
10:10Look, I have ten brothers, so that's why I'm strong.
10:13Oh, for sure.
10:14Ten brothers is crazy.
10:16Yeah, you gotta fight for your sausage.
10:17Hell yeah.
10:18You think I can have sausage every day?
10:19Okay.
10:20What's the pettiest reason you ended a relationship?
10:22So, my ex, if you watching, forget you.
10:30Not only did you cheat on me.
10:32Oh, wow.
10:33You denied we were even dating.
10:36Damn.
10:37So, for revenge, I dated his homeboy for a week.
10:46Did you smash?
10:47Heck no.
10:49So, did the homeboy think you loved him or you was interested and you was just like...
10:52Wait a minute.
10:53Or did he know?
10:54I mean, technically, I did a double favor.
10:57Cause the homeboy dated my cousin.
11:01I only got a question.
11:02Hold on, man.
11:04That's not how revenge works.
11:08If you gon' date the homeboy, fuck him.
11:14He cheated on you and you was like, man, let's go to Sweet Greed.
11:17I can't say a song.
11:18I'll show you, man.
11:19Buy me a glass of wine.
11:21Now, who's got the upper hand?
11:23I can explain.
11:24I can explain.
11:25Do you realize your eyes are open all the way?
11:28She's like, I can explain.
11:29I can explain.
11:32Why y'all moving?
11:35So, I was in high school when this happened.
11:38Oh, man, watch y'all.
11:39Get the hell out of here, Shantae.
11:40Don't nobody care, man.
11:41Get the hell out.
11:42Y'all shustles up for Shantae, man.
11:44Get out of here.
11:44Hey, give her a glass of water.
11:45Ain't nothing real in high school?
11:47Ain't nothing real in high school.
11:49No, man.
11:49You can't even cheat, man.
11:50You got six periods.
11:53Come on out, Danny.
11:55Hey, what's up, Danny?
11:56How you doing?
11:57I like this jacket.
11:58Sit your ass.
11:59All right, Danny.
12:00What's something you'll get a lot of hate for if you say out loud?
12:05That I am a praise and worship leader and I'm so sick of church.
12:10I'm a praise.
12:11I don't understand.
12:13No, I get it.
12:14Praise and worship leader that's sick of church is hilarious, though.
12:18Do you have an attitude during praise and worship internally?
12:20No, no, no.
12:21You should go over there with a real attitude.
12:23Y'all stand up if you want, man.
12:24I don't care.
12:26Jesus, I'll never forget how you taught me.
12:30I don't know what it is.
12:32To worship you, I live.
12:35To worship you, I live.
12:36I live to worship you.
12:38Oh.
12:40Do you ever feel like it's scripted?
12:42Like you're going through the motions when you were in church doing that?
12:44Oh, yeah.
12:45Yeah.
12:46Did you see Marvin Winans tell that lady he didn't want that 12-harner?
12:49I didn't see, but I heard about it, and I feel like everything don't need to be live online.
12:54They ain't got to be live if you're going to yell at the people when they got the funky little
12:5712.
12:58$1,200 is a lot of money to say you in the wrong line.
13:01$1,200?
13:01I ain't like his attitude, man.
13:02I ain't like that.
13:04He was like, I need 1,000 plus 1,000.
13:06You come down.
13:07And she was like, I got 1,000 plus 200 plus a 35.
13:10Why he say 1,000 plus 1,000?
13:11Just say 2,000 and hug.
13:13Nah, man, because that's a lot.
13:142,000 is crazy.
13:15You can't ask for that straight up.
13:17But you can ask for 1,000 twice.
13:19That's different.
13:201,000 twice?
13:21Yes.
13:222,000?
13:22Oh, my God.
13:23What do you think I am?
13:24Rich?
13:24I'm out.
13:26All right, Denny.
13:27If you just want to serve the devil, that's fine.
13:30That's how the church people do you.
13:31You say one thing like, can I just take a Sunday off?
13:33You don't love God no more?
13:35He gonna take your gift.
13:37Think of this church.
13:38Why do you keep going?
13:39They pay you?
13:41I'm a PK.
13:42Oh.
13:43Preacher's kid.
13:44PK be the most people who do that.
13:47They be corrupt.
13:47They be like, man, I don't love the Lord no more.
13:48And go in my butt.
13:49They're like, whoa, whoa.
13:51Was you sinning as a PK?
13:53Was you sinning?
13:54Was I sinning as a PK?
13:56Yeah.
13:56We all sinning.
13:57Yeah.
13:57We fall down.
13:59Was you big sinning, though?
14:01I believe that as long as I'm not hurting anyone else,
14:04and I'm not hurting myself, then I don't believe that.
14:06She was having sex at the church, y'all.
14:09That's what I heard.
14:13Come on, Brie Larson.
14:14Y'all clap for them when they come up.
14:15Brie Larson?
14:16The actress?
14:17Captain Marvel?
14:19Oh, no, it's two E's.
14:20It's two E's.
14:21What's up, Brie?
14:22Came out here with the energy.
14:24That's what I'm talking about.
14:24What's up, Brie?
14:25You got glasses?
14:26The shirt got glasses?
14:27We double glasses.
14:28Happy birthday, boo.
14:30Happy birthday.
14:30Happy birthday, mom.
14:31Where she at?
14:32I don't know.
14:33We was in the future.
14:34Yo, where you from?
14:35Brooklyn, of course.
14:36Yeah.
14:39She's saying, of course.
14:40I love the accent.
14:41Why was that of, of course?
14:44Where else?
14:45Look, I haven't seen it.
14:47Brooklyn all day.
14:48Come and come and tell me.
14:49Y'all know this is Brooklyn luck?
14:50Yeah.
14:51This is Brooklyn all day, son?
14:53All right, okay, son.
14:54All day.
14:54Okay, jeez.
14:55Yeah, I love it.
14:56Spike Lee.
14:58Is Spike Lee from Brooklyn?
14:58No, I'm just like the thing like Spike Lee do in the movies.
15:01Yeah.
15:01She been drinking, too.
15:02Come and have a seat.
15:05My mother is 74.
15:06Tell your mom I said happy birthday, man.
15:08Where she at?
15:08I can't see you up there.
15:09She didn't want me to come down here.
15:11She got the accent, too?
15:12I see why.
15:13Yeah.
15:15All right.
15:16We said we had your name wrong?
15:18Excuse me?
15:18We said we had your name wrong?
15:20Yeah.
15:20Brie Lawson is Brie Marlin.
15:23Oh, Brie Marlin.
15:24Okay.
15:24That's my...
15:25It was crossed over, my bad.
15:26Firing you.
15:27That's the dude back there.
15:28He did it with me.
15:29All right, Brie.
15:30I think you typed it in wrong, but that's okay.
15:32Here we go.
15:34What's...
15:34You put your own name into things.
15:36I don't know.
15:37We just copy and paste it.
15:38I think she was like, yeah, who's Brie Lawson?
15:41It's me, y'all.
15:42And Marlin.
15:43You got me mad or tight, son.
15:45I receive that, bro.
15:47I receive it.
15:48Yeah.
15:49You know what?
15:50I don't know how far we're gonna get with this.
15:52Huh?
15:55She's on a...
15:55She's at a different show.
15:56She's at her own show.
15:57She got it.
15:57We gonna try.
15:58We gonna try.
15:59We just...
16:00What's something you'll get a lot of hate for if you say out loud?
16:02I don't like ugly people and people who are not fashionable.
16:06Like, you can't sit with me, girl.
16:08Your outfit is weird.
16:09Your hair is weird.
16:10It's just all weird.
16:11Big fashion.
16:12And ugly, too?
16:13Right!
16:14Cause who hurt you?
16:18People be ugly, that be the Lord's choice.
16:21But you be mad cause people be ugly?
16:23The thing is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but you can't sit at my table, though.
16:28If they ugly, they can't sit at your table?
16:30No, according to me, cause it's my standard.
16:32Damn, dog.
16:33So...
16:34Regular, but I just don't feel it cause Jesus didn't put me on the booty line.
16:38But I'm still here.
16:39Put you on the...
16:40The what?
16:40The booty line.
16:41I'm young triangle, bro.
16:44Y'all show some love for Brie Larson, man.
16:46Show some love, yeah.
16:47All right.
16:47Shout out to girl.
16:49She wild.
16:51She wild.
16:52I have no idea what's happening.
16:54That's new New York lingo.
16:55I was like...
16:55I told you it was gonna be messed up.
16:57I knew it!
16:58I knew it from the way she came.
17:00Pretty wild, man.
17:00I mean, you're ugly, you can't be on the booty triangle, son.
17:03Brooklyn, my mom's birthday, B.
17:06Woo!
17:08All right.
17:09Come on, Shireen.
17:10What's that?
17:11Shireen, have you been drinking?
17:13No.
17:14All right.
17:14Clean and sober.
17:16All right, Shireen.
17:17There you go.
17:18What's the pettiest reason you've ended a relationship?
17:22Can I put a disclaimer first?
17:24What's your disclaimer?
17:25Oh, here we go.
17:26Okay.
17:26So, there's nothing wrong with this, like, not at a big range, though.
17:31So, I broke up with somebody because he cried too much.
17:36Hold on, man.
17:37I be crying, man.
17:38How much?
17:39I be crying.
17:40I be crying, too.
17:42That's what I'm saying.
17:42How much is too much?
17:44All right.
17:44So, he would cry when he was mad.
17:46He would cry when he's sad.
17:47He'd cry when he's happy.
17:48Like, that's...
17:49So, he's a normal human being?
17:51Yeah.
17:51What's the same?
17:53No.
17:54But, like, nobody wants to deal with that all the time.
17:57Like, why are you crying?
17:58Like, all right.
17:58We get it.
17:59Like, you mad emotional.
18:01You mad emotional, son.
18:03Like, your mother died?
18:04You over here crying?
18:07Damn, son.
18:11Oh, my God.
18:12People's moms die every day, B.
18:14Goddamn.
18:15You tough, right?
18:16You tough.
18:17She's camera on her pay the fool.
18:19You be all right?
18:19People get shot every day, B.
18:22So, what was his last cry that pushed you over the edge?
18:27Honestly, I feel like the last time he cried was when we broke up.
18:30But that didn't push me over the edge.
18:32It was just like...
18:33Wait, were you breaking up with him and he started crying and you were like, nah, son?
18:37Yes!
18:37Like, why are you crying?
18:38What did you tell him?
18:40Please stop crying.
18:42No, I mean, when you broke up.
18:43When you broke up.
18:43Then why are you crying after you broke up with him?
18:45No, I just...
18:45So, I told him, I was like, all right, like, I can't do this.
18:48I feel like, you know, I feel like the man in the relationship because you crying about everything.
18:53I was like, Shireen?
18:54What was your name again?
18:55Shireen.
18:56Shireen.
18:56That's what I thought.
18:57He was like, Shireen, please.
19:00I feel better.
19:01I won't cry no more.
19:02Please.
19:03So, wait.
19:03Do you cry?
19:04Are you a crying?
19:05I'm a crier, but not all the time.
19:07So, you can cry.
19:08Oh, oh, oh.
19:09So, you can cry.
19:09But do you only cry when you're sad, not mad or angry or happy?
19:12Right.
19:13Like, I mean, sometimes when I'm mad, like, you know, when you just can't do nothing, so you just
19:17get real mad and you just start crying.
19:19I do that, but otherwise...
19:20He cried more than you.
19:21Yes.
19:23You know what made me cry?
19:25When them soldiers come home and they surprise their kids and stuff, and they be like...
19:31I'm afraid to cry, though.
19:32Like, that's emotional.
19:34Like, that's a nice thing.
19:35If he cried at soldier videos, it'd be okay.
19:37That'd be fine.
19:38Lion King when Mufasa died.
19:40That's fine.
19:41Jon Q when he said...
19:42So, movies, he could cry.
19:43Yes, that's fine.
19:45But, like, you're just crying because, oh, my God, I'm so happy I saw you today.
19:48It's just like...
19:49Oh.
19:50Oh.
19:53God forbid he love you so much.
19:56I'm so happy I saw you, Serene.
19:58You crying tear through joy.
20:00There's some women out here that were killed for a nigga like that.
20:03Right, but that's okay.
20:04But that's why I said in not so big of a range.
20:08Like, not every day.
20:10But it's not a bad thing for a man to be a mom.
20:12I feel you just crying a lot.
20:14He was just crying too much for you.
20:15Exactly.
20:16The visual of him being happy to see her and her being like...
20:19That's a lot, though.
20:22Every day, B.
20:23This nigga gonna cry.
20:24That's a lot, though, bro.
20:25Fuck my dick from the back, B.
20:27This nigga crying all the time, B.
20:30Come on.
20:31You a man or not, son.
20:32That's a lot.
20:32Come on.
20:33I got a butt fit.
20:33He got a razor in my cheek right now, son.
20:36Strong eyelid.
20:37So, he was like...
20:38So, as soon as he seen you, he was like, oh, my God.
20:42I didn't know you was coming early.
20:44I didn't know you was coming early.
20:45I didn't know you was coming early.
20:47Oh, I was your trim.
20:53I didn't know you was gonna make it on time.
20:55Did they give you a window seat?
20:57All right, Jermaine, come on out, Jermaine.
20:59You got the leather jacket on.
21:00You look like a undercover cop, man.
21:01Let him know what's up, man.
21:02You got the peanut butter coat on.
21:04You know you was gonna kill him tonight.
21:05You was right about it.
21:06Yeah, I did, man.
21:07His beard all moisturized.
21:09Yes, man.
21:10Came up here ready, nigga.
21:11Look at these shoes, man.
21:12I see you in the leather with the Porto Point with the heel.
21:15I don't know, fully bearded.
21:17I see you out here, man.
21:18Kind of pigeon-toed, but not really.
21:21Fresh.
21:22I like the outfit, man.
21:23I respect it.
21:25You a detective?
21:26You an attorney?
21:27Of course.
21:28You be killing me wearing the fire outfits in court?
21:31First of all, judge.
21:34I rest my case.
21:36Wait, what?
21:37He be buttoning his suit when he get up, your honor.
21:40You would like to request.
21:43All right, Jermaine.
21:45Transactional law, so I'm a corporate and sports law attorney.
21:47Oh, he came with a deep voice and a leather coat.
21:49Yeah, I do transactional law.
21:50I be doing the corporate and the transactional.
21:53What is that?
21:54What y'all be doing?
21:55Transaction?
21:55Yeah, so I don't step in the court.
21:57You come to me, broker deals.
21:59I don't step in the court with a deep voice.
22:01I don't step in the court.
22:02The court comes to me, your honor.
22:04You be getting the people the money.
22:06Yes.
22:06Hell yeah, man.
22:07Just sports?
22:10Sports, small businesses.
22:12Comedian?
22:13Yeah, well...
22:14In the market.
22:15All right, you said this was a topic we wanted to bring up.
22:17You wanted to settle the debate.
22:19What's the debate you want me and Tone to settle in all of New York?
22:21As important of stuff that I do, my friends and I, we are real childish.
22:25So this huge debate.
22:27I'll eat bananas.
22:29I enjoy a hot dog.
22:31Glizzy.
22:33Glizzy.
22:33Got a glizzly gobbler over here, son.
22:36Man, glizzy's over here, yo.
22:39Glizzy's at law, son, over here.
22:41The glizzy.
22:42Gotcha.
22:43Glizzy, glizzy, and banana, firm.
22:46It's so bad, it's so bad that I'll be sitting there eating something,
22:49and then next thing you know it's eye contact.
22:51And they trying.
22:52And I'm like, ugh, fight the urge.
22:54And I'm like, I'm not gonna break this off.
22:56And then I'm like, I gotta break it off.
22:59And I'm like, y'all too childish.
23:01Can you help me?
23:03So you don't want to take, you don't want to take Glizzy to the dome?
23:06We should be able to.
23:07You should be able to take Glizzy to the dome.
23:09We should be able to.
23:10Hey, yo.
23:11Nah, son, Glizzy to the dome, son.
23:13I'mma tell y'all right now, man.
23:15Nah, son, Glizzy to the dome, P.
23:17I'mma tell y'all right now.
23:18I'm sucking my banana off, stroking the shaft, gobbling the balls, nigga.
23:28I'm not about to be breaking bananas into pieces,
23:31because you insecure about your sexuality, nigga.
23:35Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
23:38Chiquita Del Monte, nigga.
23:42Busting my mouth, banana.
23:45I'm sick of it, man.
23:47I'm all in.
23:52I'm going to town on bananas in your face, nigga.
23:58Ain't no middle ground, man.
23:59I'm all in nothing.
24:02Tired of it, man.
24:03Tired of it, man.
24:03Oh, don't.
24:04Aw, man.
24:05I was...
24:06Full workup.
24:08I'mma choke on it till my eyes water.
24:12Aw, aw.
24:14Aw.
24:16I love bananas.
24:17You hear me?
24:18Oh, my God.
24:19I eat bananas every day in the smoothie, man.
24:24Don't...
24:24Don't take it to the head.
24:26I'm taking it to the dome, dog.
24:28Oh, my God.
24:29Not a hot dog, though.
24:32No, hell no.
24:33I ain't doing the glizzies, though.
24:35The glizzies is gay.
24:37The carrot hot dog?
24:39He said what, dog?
24:40The glizzies is gay.
24:42I don't care if you put relish, sauerkraut.
24:46No, man.
24:47Uh, some hot meat in your mouth?
24:50I don't care.
24:51You're gay.
24:52I eat hot dog, glizzies, sauerkraut, sausage.
24:56That's a hot meat in your mouth.
24:58Hot meat.
25:00I ain't thinking about that, man.
25:03I ate popsicles.
25:04We was kids.
25:04We had the popsicles and stuff.
25:05Be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
25:08Push pops.
25:09Y'all never went to push pop.
25:10We was pushing ice cream down our throat.
25:12Push pop.
25:13I was shoving that thing down, boy.
25:18Brain freeze.
25:21The glizzies, though.
25:23Watch out.
25:23I'm not thinking about sex, man.
25:25I'm hungry.
25:27I ain't thinking about it.
25:28I'm about breaking a hot dog for what?
25:30Who makes eye contact with you?
25:32I'll be like, yeah, nigga.
25:35I'm glizzy at law.
25:39All right.
25:40Fia J.
25:41What you doing?
25:42What's something absolutely wild about your life that no one would believe just from looking at you?
25:46Oh.
25:48Oh, shit.
25:49My family's saying they don't know this story, but I accidentally, accidentally is a keyword, stayed at a nudist compound
25:57that I later found out was a cult in China.
26:01So I was living in China.
26:01You stayed at a nudist compound.
26:03That's why.
26:04That's why.
26:05Later found out was a cult.
26:06Okay.
26:06How'd you get to China?
26:08So I was living in China.
26:09First of all, you're Caribbean.
26:10Where are you from?
26:11I'm Trinidadian.
26:13I just want to give the Trinidad people some chances to say their stuff.
26:17Jamaica.
26:20Grenada.
26:22All right.
26:23Well, not any Grenadians.
26:24Haiti.
26:25Haiti.
26:26Greenwich Village.
26:28All right.
26:29How'd you get to China?
26:30I was in the Peace Corps.
26:32Oh.
26:32Oh, snap.
26:33Okay.
26:33How'd you get to the colony?
26:36So I was backpacking in China and I landed in a village and they didn't have a hotel or a
26:42hostel.
26:42So someone told me that there is a compound that you can do like a couch surfing on, which I
26:46had done before.
26:47I was like, oh, okay, great.
26:49I knock on the door.
26:50You're doing white stuff, man.
26:52Big white.
26:53Everything you said as a black, I'm like, man, I ain't knocking on no door of no people.
26:57Couch surfing in China, girl, they gonna kill me dead.
27:01Backpacking is where you lost me, man.
27:03I need suitcasing through Europe.
27:05Suit check luggaging through.
27:08I can't fit enough drawers in the backpack.
27:10Check luggage through Europe.
27:11Hostel, they be stabbing.
27:12Hostel is wild.
27:13I think about that horror movie all the time.
27:15Hostels are safer for solo traveling when you're moving through the world.
27:18Because then when you're in a hotel, anybody can get your key.
27:21But in a hostel, it's a big group.
27:22So when you're solo traveling, it's a little easier and a little safer.
27:25Okay.
27:25You know what's really safe?
27:27The Four Seasons.
27:29They're very safe.
27:31But I don't want to dim your life.
27:33I was young.
27:34I was young.
27:34Now I can afford.
27:35But I was backpacking through China and landed in a village, got to the compound.
27:40They were so nice, so welcoming.
27:42It was like, get naked if you want to stay on this couch.
27:46That's our only rule.
27:48They're like, you'll have your own space, your own room.
27:51And I was like, this is amazing.
27:52How much does it cost?
27:53They said, we do the work on the land.
27:55And I was like, oh, okay.
27:55It just cost you your outfit.
27:57Now, doing the work on the land ain't always worked out for us.
28:02You know what I'm saying?
28:03That ain't really a sweet deal all the time, because then you can't leave.
28:07You know what I'm saying?
28:08Just in America.
28:09You know what I'm saying?
28:10You tried it in China, I'm glad they let you go.
28:12America, you say, nah, nah.
28:13Just pay me fair.
28:15I don't ball against the stove.
28:16I don't know if it was safe in China either, but I had ran out of money and I wanted
28:19a
28:20place to stay.
28:20So I was staying there.
28:22Wait, you ran out of money in China?
28:24I did.
28:25I ran out backpacking before I got back.
28:27So what happened?
28:28Did you have to be naked or you could be closed?
28:30You had a hoodie on.
28:30I was like, y'all tripping in China, man.
28:32It's cold in here.
28:33I wore clothes the whole time.
28:35And I didn't know, because in the beginning, the front room, before you went out into the
28:38compound, everyone has clothes on.
28:39So I didn't realize until I got past the second door.
28:43Shit.
28:44Chinese balls and titties and stuff.
28:48What's worse?
28:49Nobody was Chinese.
28:50That should have been a red flag.
28:51Hold on, man.
28:53What was it?
28:55What?
28:56Nobody was Chinese?
28:57Nobody was Chinese.
28:58It should have been a red flag that it was just a bunch of blonde, blue-eyed people.
29:01That was a sex camp, a sex group.
29:05A little hedonism stuff.
29:07Oh, I never thought about that.
29:09I was in here like, yeah, join up.
29:10Yo.
29:11How long did you stay?
29:13Oh.
29:17Working on the land.
29:18How long was you a Chinese slave?
29:21A naked slave in China?
29:23Two and a half weeks.
29:24Two and a half weeks with the naked Americans?
29:29They weren't all Americans.
29:30They were all white, but they weren't all Americans.
29:32It was a lot of Australians, a lot of Europeans, and then there weren't as many Americans, which
29:36is why I was like, oh, it should be fine, because it's not that many Americans.
29:39No.
29:40No.
29:41That should have let me know.
29:42And they never made you be naked?
29:43No.
29:43They didn't press you or nothing?
29:44No.
29:45Oh, you stayed dressed the whole time?
29:46I stayed dressed the whole time.
29:48Oh, I would do that.
29:49Yeah, respect that.
29:50I would do that.
29:51If I could be dressed and everybody else naked, I'm gone.
29:53Yeah, yeah.
29:55I'm gonna have a regular conversation, too, this week.
30:20I'm gonna have a regular conversation, too, this week.
30:24good honestly it was so good um but yeah i got enough money to get my train ticket to get
30:28back
30:28to my house this is a crazy story that's an adventure you got the money from working on
30:33the land no i did not get the money from the nudist colony i was doing i did side tutoring
30:37and i just did some side teaching of english to some random students made enough money and then
30:41left you was living wild in your young age you living life to the fullest my family are here
30:46and they do not know this story y'all know she was in the chinese knickeds now all right come
30:50on
30:50out keisha people what's happening all right keisha share the most untraditional piece of
30:55relationship advice that somehow works for you and yours my husband and i sleep in separate rooms
31:00oh that's you too your husband and you sleep in separate rooms yes y'all got kids yeah a nine
31:09year old son where the kids sleep he got his own room no he sleeps with me oh you got
31:14the kid
31:15your husband got the sweet deal he does have his own room but he doesn't want to sleep in there
31:21so wait after y'all smash you be like well see you later he just goes and closes the door
31:28good night do he text you and let you know he made it made it boo
31:35that's what i would do when did y'all find out that you that like did y'all start off
31:39sleeping in the
31:40bed same room no um well i'm i'm in the church so when my husband moved in you know he
31:47wanted to
31:47sleep in the living room because you know we're not supposed to be together y'all was shacking up
31:51oh y'all was shacking up but that's my business it's our business now i mean y'all was shacking
31:57that's our business well i mean there's only a thousand people here who also know
32:02so were y'all were y'all celibate no what's the point man yeah pumps pumps sex is better when
32:11you
32:11ain't supposed to be doing to the living room it's so it's so much better when you ain't supposed to
32:16be having it we we shouldn't be doing this what are we doing the church every stroke is just that
32:30much better when you when you're doing it wrong so y'all never slept in the same room in your
32:35entire
32:36marriage no but it works what is it that you like about it i love my husband no i mean
32:43that you like
32:43about staying away from him oh well i'm not what do you love so much about him that before you
32:49go to
32:49bed you'll be like i'm not a very affectionate you know touchy-feely you know we just do it and
32:58thank you good night do your business all right that's kind of exciting though when y'all in two
33:04separate rooms is it yeah you be like why don't you come on over tonight i can walk you to
33:10your room
33:10yeah we had fun tonight didn't we yeah it's crazy you gonna call me later you know i'm saying
33:18keep it fresh like i'm dropping you off at your crib i'm just across the hall if you ever get
33:24lonely uh
33:26come on y'all sometimes sneak in his room like man come on man come and get some of this
33:30coochie
33:30then i'll go back you're like what you doing in here snuggling booty first you know the women they
33:36like to go booty scooch booty scooch you know it's time is it a bathroom in each bedroom no oh
33:42that's
33:42been fired up you catch me coming out the shower like oh what you doing in here
33:49i didn't know you was home
33:52all right come on out shirk diamond what's up shirk diamond what's something absolutely wild about
33:58your life that no one believed just from looking at you that if my husband doesn't gag me when we
34:03have sex i will not come
34:12whoo jesus
34:17man okay amen father god in the name of jesus we cover every bro every borough god every borough
34:25staten island brooklyn the bronx yonkers queen bx father god touch him in the mighty name touch him in the
34:33body name safety safety safety safety safety safety okay if he don't gag you you can't reach the
34:41promised land right right define gag so you have dildo down your throat you have the gag piece in the
34:51mouth you have fingers down your throat choke my dog man you got glizzy you go banana you go dildo
35:00a playstation 5 controller the remote some applesauce and fruit jocks enough gushers
35:10dildo dildo with chains push pop technically car keys will get me there in a pitch if we're on the
35:17road i go car keys five is too much microphone to work if you if you don't need this later
35:22i'm not
35:28gonna call her husband get a microphone baby so they already got an order what okay so tell us why
35:36you don't like breathing
35:39why when he could take all the control
35:43do you let him choke you yeah so you need that for the climax
35:50so your oxygen got to be compromised for you to reach full climax cut me out you're just breathing good
35:56so you're like man i'm breathing too good i can't be you know the wild part how did you discover
36:03that this is the only way i
36:04can nut is if my life was drowning one time she's like oh man this is kind of turning me
36:10off
36:14oh yeah more of that i can give you guys a little bit of the story so the first time
36:21oh yeah give us
36:22the story you want the story we have to know so you know you find out that whether you have
36:28gag reflexes
36:29or not so not gagging is boring so you got to keep going towards the limit which is take my
36:36ear i passed
36:37out one time after that i was in love passed out so you heard jordan sparks no air and you
36:43were like
36:45exactly how i'm gonna be with no air she was like
36:50so how did you find out you didn't have no gag reflex if i may ask practice who practice oh
36:57we get it
36:57we get it we got it we got it so what if he don't feel like almost killing you one
37:02time i mean we just
37:04know that i didn't finish and we gotta go another time it gotta continue like you ain't choked me
37:09hard enough the first time yeah you sitting there with your arms like if you ain't talking with it i'm
37:14not gonna do it yes because i'm a brat so he knows that he needs to so maybe he'd be
37:20like pissed off
37:21and like i'm gonna kill you this time you're like yes kill me a little bit i want to i
37:26want to see stars
37:27in my eyes that's a lot of pressure as a man because i got to try to not kill you
37:31on accident
37:34yeah pretty much like giving somebody anesthesia except i'm not qualified
37:41i'd be nervous coming in i'd be like all right
37:47so what if you were to do that cry that you made
37:51i can't do this i don't want to hurt you
37:59you couldn't be with no crier either a what cry if your husband started crying because he thought you
38:04was dead i mean he's panicked before in the beginning hell yeah yeah but he thought he killed
38:10you he so he thought he hurt me because i passed out but we got through that i'm done what
38:16if he killed
38:17you by mistake my coochie gonna dry up if i thought you was dead i'm like
38:24my penis gonna fall off i killed her man i'm calling people care i killed her bro
38:32what if you get manslaughter for that you're like your honor man she listen she said oh man listen
38:39she asked for it there's a contract oh you gotta sign a contract yeah it's like so when you have
38:45the
38:46listen new york is crazy you just have to have things in place when you know you're playing
38:53those kind of games you got to get that lawyer with the peanut butter jacket on like hey transaction
38:57law i want this to almost kill me if he does kill me it's okay as long as i can
39:02you what if you come
39:04and then die i went like oh you could be happy that's the way to go out though she wake
39:09up in heaven
39:09like that nigga finally did it that's all right man i can't wait for this
39:20like how'd you get here i had a hell of a time guy
39:25that's crazy all right y'all show some love to the scranton strangler yes indeed be careful out
39:31there you know she choke myself if you don't do it hey man i can't do that stuff that's pressure
39:37man i would not be comfortable with the children absolutely not man choke yourself i got big ass
39:41hands too yeah you'll kill her i'll be killing them crush your larynx man she couldn't even talk no
39:47more he should be happy she had that little thing man tony killed me tony beat the brakes off my
39:55throat
39:56i love it it's okay guys i like that he did this and killed me almost are you a smoker
40:03no sex
40:04sex he broke my vocal car but it's okay natalie come on out oh look who it is natalie was
40:16at the
40:16philly show last night she came back man she came back around you took the train up or you drove
40:21drove oh cool natalie what's something wild about your life that no one will believe just from looking
40:26at you oh jesus okay um from 29 to around about 30 in my mid 30s i'm 46 now i'm
40:37an old person i'm grumpy
40:39like tony hold on man y'all been tearing me apart this whole night i'm not old no i'm grumpy
40:49i'm just
40:49saying i'm grumpy i'm not even grumpy man man what the fuck is going on man fuck this show man
40:55i ain't never been grumpy sick of it man keep going um i was a dominatrix oh
41:07you know what what's going on out here y'all y'all wild on the east coast and they're unassuming
41:14you look like a librarian more than a dominatrix that's the beauty of the program though
41:20this is what you want in the dominatrix can i get an encyclopedia and she pull out a whip
41:27so how did you get into uh what exactly is the dominatrix that 50 shades of gray
41:32except for no sex oh you was just beating niggas up and telling them they were dumb
41:38with no sex no sex what did they pay you yes hold on man this is a good time right
41:45there how much they
41:46pay you to tell them they was dumb and ugly it's different it all depends it's different contracts
41:50with different with different y'all got a lot of contract law in the section in the east coast
41:55y'all do a lot of paperwork up top kill me almost sign here first so what what what like
42:02what is it what is it like somebody comes to you how do they find out you dominatrix so i
42:07had a
42:07woman who i was talking to her and we well first i was like in fashion and she saw like
42:14she was like
42:14i'm tall and because of my size she was like you could size you up like
42:21you could be a dominatrix like you could be she recruited you yeah okay okay so she recruited you
42:27she recruited me and she taught me the business and oh my god the visual of mr miyaki like smack
42:33on
42:34smack off the montage smack that all right slap this dummy right here slap him hard okay so you went
42:43through dominatrix training how long is the program
42:47this is a six-week program was it a program the boot camp type
42:53she okay her doing army cross yeah okay and then you get your clients and did you get a certificate
43:03of completion how do you get the client i want my paperwork i want something to put on my dominatrix
43:09wall like i completed the program with flying colors black you go on web there's certain websites
43:15for it okay okay so you finish dominatrix school and then what and then you go on the websites you
43:20put
43:21that you're out there and then you get clients were you nervous with your first client yeah yeah so
43:26what do they like do do they be like do they have like a like a form they fill out
43:30and they tell you
43:31like at a massage like okay my feet hurt you know i'm saying you sit down and you talk to
43:36them you
43:36ask them what it is that they need okay okay take tony through the program i'm the first guy tony
43:43was a
43:43new to dominatrix school it's your you you you are you you are a veteran now you know what's going
43:48on
43:48tony's new but he wanted to get smacked how you doing miss dominatrix hello hello
43:57i'm new to this you know i'll be stressed at work i'm an attorney for sports clients and uh
44:04you know i'm just trying to facilitate deals or whatever make sure they get the right deals
44:10you know so your work is hard for me so you know okay so you're talking to me
44:14and you're looking me right in the eye stop looking me in the eye oh oh for sure for sure
44:18absolutely absolutely absolutely shoestrings new balance look at the floor look at the floor
44:24you say what look at the floor oh yeah oh yeah absolutely the floor is amazing look at the floor
44:29not look me in the eye talk to me you cannot look me in the eye first of all so
44:37what it is that you're
44:37here for uh i'm just here for like just uh you know a load off the stress you have a
44:45lot of stress
44:46in your life okay i do i do okay so yes you need just get the stress off your life
44:52don't worry about
44:53the heart just look at the floor why are you right particulars you're about the particulars yes i'm an
44:57attorney okay so you need discipline in order to take your mind off of the particulars yes absolutely
45:09okay so you need to have a certain amount of things that goes on in your life okay and we'll
45:15make sure
45:15that you have those things and that you hit those marks but when you don't hit those marks you gonna
45:21hit me
45:31is that what you're saying man you're gonna hit me i mean if you want me to hit you i
45:37will hit you
45:38or we can do a drainage
45:46what what are we draining exactly so glizzy
45:56stay in it smack him smack him i'm telling him he's ugly so it depends on what type of punishment
46:06is
46:06best fitting for you because sometimes physical punishments is good for certain people and it
46:13gets them to the point that they need to punch me in my lower back
46:40i'll beat him up beat him up finish him finish him off
46:45but sometimes oh choke him to death
46:51but sometimes financial is more than physical for certain people so you want money
47:04and sometimes i have to tell you how much money you have to give me oh snap
47:13how much sometimes it's a hundred sometimes it's a two hundred sometimes it's three hundred
47:18sometimes it's a thousand plus a thousand
47:20nice
47:21thousand plus a thousand
47:24thousand plus a thousand
Comments