- 11 hours ago
Thirty Seconds Underwater - Complete drama englishsub 🔥🔥
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00:00Today was supposed to be our deep dive mission with my boyfriend, Ethan.
00:05But at the last minute, he galled from Chloe and rushed off.
00:13He didn't notice I'd been caught in the undercurrent.
00:19In those 30 seconds, pinned against the reef with my breathing tube tangled in the rocks,
00:25the only running through my mind was,
00:28I wish he were here.
00:34The first thing I did after climbing ashore was reach up and touch my left ear.
00:39It was still bleeding.
00:41My eardrum had ruptured.
00:44Instinctively, I reached for my phone to text Ethan.
00:50A social media postist popped up on the screen.
00:53In the photo, Chloe Winters was in a swimsuit.
00:59Ethan the was was not alone behind hind her, his hands steady on her waist.
01:04The caption read,
01:06Thirteenth lesson.
01:08The little guy has mastered his second swimming stroke.
01:12It turned out that when I was on the verge of death,
01:18he was teaching another woman how to swimming.
01:21Droplets of water slid from the ends of my hair onto the screen,
01:25blurring the image.
01:29My phone rang.
01:31It was Ethan calling.
01:34Chloe swallowed some water during practice.
01:37You're such a good diver.
01:39You could have made the dive without me.
01:41But Chloe is so fragile.
01:43I had to teach her to swim first.
01:46You must understand, right?
01:50The ringing in my left ear kept going, steady and relentless.
01:56No need.
01:58I can't dive anymore, and I don't need a dive partner now, either.
02:06After getting my ear treated at the hospital,
02:09I made it back to the apartment.
02:11It was already 7.30 in the evening.
02:16Ethan had gotten home before me,
02:19fresh out of the shower,
02:20his hair still half damp.
02:26You're back.
02:28He didn't bother lifting his head,
02:31his fingers still tapping away at his phone.
02:36I'd sent him messages, too.
02:39A hundred and thirty-seven of them,
02:41all unread.
02:45The water temperature at the pool
02:47was way too low today.
02:49Chloe was in the water for two hours.
02:58Her legs were shaking by the time she got out.
03:01At a depth of a hundred and thirty feet,
03:04when the turbulence kicked up silt and sand,
03:07the water temperature was barely above freezing.
03:14My legs were shaking, too.
03:17So I grabbed that bottle of body lotion from your cabinet
03:19and gave it to Chloe.
03:24Her skin was so dry, it was driving her crazy.
03:27It's not like you were using it anyway.
03:31That was a limited edition.
03:33I'd had a friend overseas stand in line for two weeks to get.
03:38My voice came out hoarse.
03:41I see.
03:44Have some water.
03:46Good for your throat.
03:48Ice-cold Chloe's cup.
03:50Pink cherry blossoms printed on the ceramic.
03:53A fuzzy little rabbit charm dangling from the handle.
03:58Don't overthink it.
03:59I broke your mug,
04:00so just make do with this one for now.
04:06Not thirsty?
04:06I didn't take it.
04:08My hands stayed buried in my pockets.
04:10My fingertips were numb with cold.
04:12On the shoe rack by the door,
04:14a pair of tiny white canvas sneakers had appeared.
04:18A pink cashmere cardigan was draped over the arm of the couch.
04:22This apartment, our home,
04:24was slowly being filled by someone else.
04:31Ethan's gaze finally drifted over to me.
04:36What happened to your ear?
04:38The blood-spotted gauze covering my left ear.
04:41Got hurt.
04:43How'd you manage to be so careless?
04:46Ear injuries are the number one thing divers are supposed to avoid.
04:52Well, be more careful next time.
04:55But with your skills,
04:57I'm sure you handled it fine.
05:02Not like Chloe,
05:04that little disaster.
05:06You've never need anyone to worry about you.
05:09It won't clear up.
05:21After my shower,
05:23I went back to my room and opened my laptop.
05:26I clicked into the transfer application portal.
05:31I uploaded the medical certificate
05:33confirming the eardrum rupture
05:35and my permanent disqualification from diving.
05:39Then I submitted my request for reassignment,
05:42coastal data recording,
05:44New Zealand.
05:47The next morning,
05:49I was jolted awake by a searing pain in my left ear.
05:55The complications from the perforation were starting to set in.
05:58The pain radiated through half my skull.
06:04I dry-swallowed to painkillers
06:06before it eased enough to function.
06:12Today I had to go to the East District Diving Base.
06:18The physical copy of my transfer request
06:21needed to be signed in person.
06:27I pushed open the bedroom door.
06:29Ethan was already at the dining table.
06:33Come have breakfast.
06:35Chloe went out of her way yesterday,
06:37stood in line at that trendy bakery.
06:42The sandwiches were packed thick
06:44with bacon and melted cheddar.
06:48I'm allergic to cheese.
06:51One bite and I break out in hives.
06:53He never remembered things like that.
07:00I didn't touch the food on the table
07:02and asked him.
07:07I need to go to the base medical office today.
07:10The doctor wants a follow-up.
07:11I can't drive with my ear like this.
07:15Can you give me a ride?
07:20He looked at my pale face and nodded.
07:27Fine.
07:28I'm heading that way anyway.
07:30Your stuff comes first.
07:31Dive partners.
07:32That's what we're for, right?
07:34At nine, we headed out.
07:37The passenger seat was pushed all the way forward.
07:43A pink cartoon headrest was strapped to the backrest.
07:49Chloe was short.
07:51She liked the seat pulled up close to the dash.
07:56I didn't touch the adjustment button.
07:59I opened the rear door and climbed into the back seat.
08:03Halfway there, his phone rang.
08:10Ethan, where are you?
08:11My leg hurt so bad.
08:13Where I had that cramp last night, it's all swollen now.
08:16Ethan's face changed in an instant.
08:20Don't cry.
08:22Don't move around.
08:25He wrenched the steering wheel.
08:27The tires screeched against the wet pavement.
08:32i'm coming right now a sharp pain inevitably shot through my ears
08:41before i could even speak he hung up and glanced at me through the rearview mirror
08:51lana lie chloe's leg cramp got worse i need to go check on her first
08:59your prescription isn't exactly an emergency anyway i'll drop you off at the next intersection
09:04just grab a cab from there
09:09my voice was filled with agony
09:14we're on the overpass you can't get a cab here and my ear really hurts
09:23he said impatiently
09:28lana can you please not pick right now to be dramatic
09:33you swam back from a hundred feet underwater all by yourself
09:38what's a little walking chloe's timid she's hurt
09:44the car screeched to a stop at a desolate intersection
09:50get out i'll call you once i'm done with chloe
09:54i got out of the car raindrops hit the open wound on my ear
09:58the pain drove into my skull like needles
10:03i walked the rest of the way along the highway in the rain
10:06all the way to the base
10:12supervisor grant took one look at my bedraggled state and his brow furrowed deep
10:22ethan didn't drive you
10:25no
10:26he had something else
10:29where's the transfer form
10:32supervisor grant sighed and pulled a document out of his desk drawer
10:42i've already signed it headquarters approved it too
10:48i booked the flight for next monday three more days
10:53he looked at me hesitating
10:58lana does ethan know you're leaving
11:02i picked up the pen from his desk
11:04on the final confirmation line i pressed down hard and signed my name
11:10no
11:10he doesn't need to know
11:15when i pushed open the apartment door
11:17the living room tv was blaring some variety show
11:24ethan was half kneeling beside the couch
11:26holding an ice pack against chloe's shin
11:34chloe's leg is really swollen
11:38i don't feel right leaving her alone so she's staying with us for a few days
11:42i stood in the enterway watching him keep his head down
11:46fussing over a patch of redness no bigger than a coin
11:55lana why is there a piece of wet tissue stuck to your ear
12:00before i could pull away chloe's fingernail had already hooked into the medical gauze
12:05soaked through from the rain
12:10i saw the smirk in her eyes and the next second she yanked hard
12:15the freshly clotted scab tore open along with it
12:19i let out a cry of pain
12:25chloe shrieked and recoiled
12:28her eyes instantly went red
12:30tears welled up
12:34i'm so sorry i thought it was just a scrape of tissue
12:39ethan immediately moved to soothe her
12:42it's okay it's okay
12:46don't be scared
12:48you didn't do it on purpose
12:51he grabbed a paper napkins and shoved them into my hand
12:59you all right
13:00go put some izin on that
13:03he didn't even stand up
13:05his other hand was still holding the ice pack against chloe's leg
13:10i took those to dry
13:12useless paper napkins and pressed them against the bleeding wound
13:18when i came back from the bathroom
13:20chloe was eyeing the plastic bag i'd set on the table
13:28lana were you at the deep sea diving base just now
13:35yeah
13:37ethan says the water temperature in the deep sea
13:40is freezing
13:42and it's so dark and cold down there
13:46that's why he only ever took me to the shallow end
13:4913 times in a row
13:52she tilted her face up toward ethan
13:55then doesn't lana get scared
13:57all alone down there in the deep sea
14:00she's got great technique
14:02and nerves of steel
14:03she made it back safe
14:05of 100 feet underwater
14:07without a scratch
14:10you think everyone's like you choking on water in the shallow end
14:15lana's a professional surveyor
14:17she doesn't need anyone holding her hand
14:20first rule of diving
14:22never leave your dive partner
14:24130 feet beneath the surface
14:28the 30 seconds my breathing tube was caught on the reef
14:35and my dive partner was in a temperature controlled shallow pool
14:39teaching another girl her second swimming stroke
14:47ethan that little silver whistle around your neck is so cute
14:52chloe suddenly pointed at ethan's chest
14:55that was my rescue whistle
14:58ben for my first deep water dive tomorrow
15:01can i borrow it
15:06she tugged at the hem of ethan's shirt
15:12i'm scared
15:14if i can't find you down there
15:17i'll just blow this whistle
15:18okay
15:20lana
15:21this whistle
15:23chloe wants to borrow it for tomorrow
15:25that's fine right
15:26ethan turned toward me
15:29that was the day we officially became dive partners
15:32i was the one who hung it around his neck
15:35with my own hands
15:40i'm putting my life in your hands
15:44when you hear whistle i will come for you
15:50those were his exact words to me that day
15:58it's just a whistle
15:59it's not like you don't have a spare
16:01chloe's going into deep water for the first time tomorrow
16:04she needs needs a little security
16:07don't be so stingy
16:09chloe's small voice drifted from the couch
16:12lana doesn't want to it's okay
16:18of course she doesn't mind
16:20right
16:25ethan unhooked the metal clasp from around his neck
16:28he bent down and slipped the rescue whistle over chloe's head
16:37there
16:38if you get scared tomorrow
16:40just blow
16:41i promise i'll be right there the moment i hear it
16:47i stood there
16:48rooted to the spot
16:49the ringing in my left ear grew louder and louder
16:56take it
17:00things that are given away don't need to be returned
17:04less than 24 hours until my flight to new zealand
17:10the transfer order was already signed
17:13minimum three-year assignment
17:15maybe i'd never come back
17:20in the morning
17:21i stood at the stove
17:23stirring a pot of seafood chowder
17:26his favorite
17:29the master bedroom door opened
17:32ethan emerged
17:33twirling his car keys
17:38the chowder just finished
17:39have a bowl before you go
17:43no time chloe's waiting for me
17:44it's her first time in the deep center day
17:46she was so nervous she barely slept
17:54my voice was tinged with sorrow
17:59ethan
18:00do you remember how many times you've abandoned me
18:04his tone
18:05his tone was so casual
18:06that he didn't pick up on my sadness at all
18:11work stuff doesn't count as abandoning
18:13i looked at him and said very seriously
18:1713 times
18:19you abandoned me 13 times
18:22why are you counting like that
18:23you made it back safe every time didn't you
18:31and what if i almost didn't
18:34don't say things like that
18:36you're standing right here
18:37perfectly fine
18:38aren't you
18:43the ringing in my left ear kept going
18:45steady and unbroken
18:51do you have to go
18:54i asked him one last time
18:58he was already at the door
19:03if i'm one minute late
19:04she'll be up on the shore
19:05crying her eyes out all day
19:07the door opened
19:08then it slammed shut
19:10i turned slowly
19:12and walked back to the dining table
19:17i poured the bowl of seafood chowder
19:19down the kitchen sink
19:27back in the bedroom
19:28i packed
19:29there wasn't much that belonged to me
19:31a few wetsuits
19:32some everyday clothes
19:37a single 20 inch suitcase was enough to hold it all
19:44before i left
19:46i looked back at this apartment
19:48one last time
19:52his shirt from last night
19:54was draped over the back of the couch
20:00the ice pack he'd used on chloe's foot
20:02was still on the bathroom counter
20:06her cup sat on the coffee table
20:08right next to his
20:10mine was broken
20:12i never bought a new one
20:14i sent ethan one final message
20:17we're done
20:20ethan had just climbed out of the water
20:22after chloe's deep end session
20:27when he picked up his phone
20:28my message was waiting on the screen
20:32we're done
20:39his grip on the phone tightened
20:44april fools was weeks ago
20:45stop joking around
20:48but he knew
20:4910 years of knowing each other
20:517 years as dive partners
20:53i had never
20:54not once
20:56played these kinds of games
20:59ethan
21:00i almost sank again back there
21:03good thing you pulled me up
21:05me up so fast
21:08let's go get sushi for lunch
21:10ethan pulled the door open
21:12and walked out
21:15chloe had already changed
21:17she was fiddling with the rescue whistle
21:19he'd given her
21:21sushi?
21:22yeah
21:23that new place
21:24they have my favorite spicy tuna roll
21:31he nodded on autopilot
21:33only then did it register
21:35the one who loved sushi was chloe
21:37the restaurant was quiet
21:41chloe sat across from him
21:43chattering non-stop about her experience in the water
21:46he didn't touch his food
21:50the chat window still held only that one lonely breakup message
21:58no follow-ups
22:01no
22:02where are you
22:03no
22:04come home soon
22:08he typed
22:09got sushi with chloe
22:11won't be doing dinner with you tonight
22:13let me know what you want
22:17half an hour
22:19still no reply
22:20ethan
22:21let's go watch the fireworks by the river after this
22:25okay
22:25no
22:26i'm going home
22:31the apartment door swung open
22:33no lights had been left on
22:35the row of black wetsuits
22:37empty
22:40the photo of their first dive
22:42flipped face down
22:44he pulled out his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart
22:48no answer
22:49there was still one place he could look
22:52the east district deep diving base
22:56ethan didn't bother knocking
22:58he shoved the door open
23:01grant
23:03where's lana
23:04supervisor grant was in his office
23:06you didn't know she left for new zealand
23:12our deep dive mission is supposed to start next month
23:15our dears
23:17worst july brainer
23:18what's she doing in new zealand
23:19she applied for a coastal data recording position
23:23her flights this afternoon
23:24grant slapped a photocopy down on his desk
23:28as for next month's mission
23:31i've assigned you a new dive partner
23:34i don't need a new partner
23:36the only partner i recognize is lana
23:41supervisor grant's brow furrowed
23:43he pulled out a medical report
23:46you didn't know her eardrum was ruptured
23:52that she's permanently disqualified from diving
23:56how is she supposed to be your dive partner now
24:00ethan stood frozen
24:02his pupils contracting sharply
24:04what
24:05grant said in a cold voice
24:08that was a hundred and thirty foot strong current zone
24:15what's the first rule of deep diving
24:19your dive partner
24:20never leaves your line of sight
24:22when the turbulence swept her into the reef
24:24where were you
24:27ethan's throat was dry as sand
24:30i thought that deep dive mission was a hundred feet
24:37she's done solo dives at a hundred feet before
24:39she can handle it alone
24:44so
24:44i went to the shallow end to teach chloe how to swim
24:48supervisor grant was so furious he actually laughed
24:52you didn't even read the mission brief
24:55you left your dive partner
24:57alone in the deep sea
24:59to go play instructor for some woman
25:02who can't even swim
25:03due to gross negligence
25:05the base has decided to revoke
25:07all your deep diving certifications for this year
25:12ethan didn't argue
25:13he turned and walked out of the base
25:19he sat in his car
25:21he didn't even turn the headlights on
25:26lana
25:28i didn't know you were hurt that badly
25:34his hands trembling
25:35he opened my chat window
25:42lana
25:43lana
25:43i didn't know it was 130 feet
25:45i didn't read the mission brief carefully
25:52i thought you could handle a hundred feet
25:55why didn't you tell me
25:58please
25:59just send me one reply
26:01anything
26:09this time
26:10this time
26:10he got a response
26:11he sat up straight
26:13a single message appeared
26:16if you had known it was 130 feet
26:19would you have chosen not to go to chloe
26:24ethan stared at those words
26:26he typed
26:29i have stayed with you
26:32but after typing it he stopped
26:35one by one
26:36he deleted every letter
26:38he couldn't lie to himself
26:40deep down
26:41he had always been absolutely certain
26:43that my skills were good enough
26:45that i wouldn't die
26:46so he would always
26:48every time
26:49choose to answer chloe's tears
26:53in the end
26:54the phone slipped from his palm
26:56and fell onto the floor mat
27:02Auckland, New Zealand
27:04coastal survey station
27:09i sat in front of the data recorder
27:11logging today's current readings
27:13into the system
27:17no more diving
27:18no more suffocation
27:19no more waiting for someone
27:21to come save me
27:25the ringing in my left ear
27:27still flared up sometimes
27:28but i'd learned to coexist with it
27:33a sharp metallic clink
27:35against the desk
27:36a silver rescue whistle
27:37sat beside my keyboard
27:40around the mouthpiece
27:42a faint ring of tiny teeth marks
27:44was still visible
27:49Ollie pulled up the chair
27:51next to me
27:54Lana
27:54there's a guy downstairs
27:56looking for you
27:56he's been standing out there
27:58for four hours
28:01says he's your dive partner
28:06my fingers paused
28:07over the keyboard
28:08dive partner
28:09what a distant
28:10ironic word
28:15don't know him
28:16not interested
28:18tell security
28:19to get rid of him
28:21he stood up
28:22and pointed
28:23at the rescue whistle
28:28what about this
28:31the whistle i had hung
28:32around his neck
28:33with my own hands
28:34the one that meant
28:35i was putting my life
28:37in his
28:38the one ethan
28:39had put around
28:40another woman's neck
28:43throw it in the trash
28:45the next day
28:46Ollie came to my desk again
28:49this time
28:50he set down
28:51a clear plastic zip bag
28:53inside was a ceramic mug
28:56painstakingly glued
28:57back together
29:01Lana
29:03he's still downstairs
29:04he made me bring this up
29:06said he fixed it
29:07i stared at the mug
29:10he'd glued it back together
29:12but a shattered cup
29:14no matter how carefully
29:15you piece it
29:16will always leak
29:19i carried the bag
29:20to the trash
29:21just throw it away
29:23day
29:23day three
29:24a bottle of limited edition
29:26body lotion
29:28day four
29:30a thick diving log book
29:32chronicling every single dive
29:34from our seven years
29:35as partners
29:35day five
29:37a pair of custom diving rings
29:42a strange atmosphere
29:44settled over the office
29:47what day is this now
29:48thirteen
29:50i heard he and Lana
29:52used to be partners
29:54coming all this way
29:55after her
29:57kind of heartbreaking
29:59heartbreaking
29:59heartbreaking
30:01you all know what it means
30:02in coastal survey work
30:03the weight of putting your back
30:05in someone else's hands
30:09he's the one who did her wrong
30:10first
30:12but he's burning up
30:13with a fever
30:14can barely stand
30:15he's still staring up
30:17at this building
30:22i tapped the final data entry
30:24into the keyboard
30:26i'm going downstairs
30:28the automatic doors
30:30slid open
30:31cold wind mixed with rain
30:32blew in
30:34ethan was leaning
30:35against the wall
30:36his body trembling slightly
30:38he'd lost a lot of weight
30:40his eyes were sunken deep
30:42the moment he saw me
30:44a light sparked in his gaze
30:49Lana
30:49what do you want?
30:51he hesitated for a moment
30:53and asked
30:53your ear
30:55is it any better?
30:57it won't get better
30:58come back with me
31:01please
31:03i've found the best ear specialist
31:06we can get it treated
31:09there is no treatment
31:14i'm sorry
31:16if i had just checked
31:17the mission depth that day
31:19ethan
31:19a hundred feet
31:20or a hundred and thirty
31:21it doesn't matter
31:22the point isn't the depth
31:25i spoke coldly
31:28the point is
31:30that you weren't
31:32there
31:32his breath caught
31:38being your dive partner
31:39is exhausting
31:42i put my life
31:43in your hands
31:43and you used it
31:45to make someone else
31:46feel special
31:48i thought you could
31:50he was cut off by me
31:51before he could finish
31:52speaking
31:57you thought my skills
31:58were good enough
31:59you thought i was
32:00independent
32:08you thought nothing
32:09would ever happen
32:10to me
32:17so every single time
32:19there was a choice
32:20i was the one
32:22who got left behind
32:23ethan's voice
32:24spiked suddenly
32:25so desperate
32:26his breathing
32:27came undone
32:28i never meant
32:29to abandon you
32:31i already gave you
32:33thirteen
32:34his lips parted
32:35as though he wanted
32:36to speak
32:37just then
32:38the sharp clatter
32:39of high heels
32:40echoed across the floor
32:43ethan
32:44chloe winters
32:45came running over
32:46and seized ethan
32:47by the arm
32:48tears streaming
32:49down her face
32:50i finally found you
32:55why didn't you
32:56answer my calls
32:57why did you
32:58disappear to new zealand
32:59without saying
33:00a single word
33:06do you
33:06do you have any idea
33:07how worried
33:08i've been
33:09ethan's face
33:10went hard
33:11in an instant
33:12he wrenched
33:13his arm free
33:13who told you
33:15to come here
33:17because i
33:18care about
33:20you
33:21chloe
33:22screamed
33:22through her tears
33:27she won't
33:28even talk
33:29to you
33:29anymore
33:30she got
33:31your diving
33:32surface
33:32ernications
33:33revoked
33:33why are you
33:35still chasing
33:35after her
33:38she spun
33:39around
33:39and glared
33:40at me
33:41lana brooks
33:43do you
33:43even have
33:44a heart
33:45ethan
33:46came all
33:47the way
33:47here for you
33:48stood in the
33:49rain for
33:50hours
33:50and hours
33:53how can you
33:54treat him
33:54like this
33:55shut your mouth
33:57ethan stepped
33:58between me
33:59and chloe
33:59my business
34:00is none
34:01of yours
34:02how can you
34:03say there's
34:04nothing between
34:04us
34:06ethan
34:06i love
34:07you
34:09she lifted
34:10her chin
34:11you love
34:13me too
34:16don't you
34:17ethan's face
34:18changed
34:19completely
34:19what the hell
34:20are you saying
34:21i don't love
34:22you
34:22i have never
34:23loved you
34:25chloe let out
34:26a bitter
34:26broken laugh
34:29you don't
34:30love me
34:32then why
34:33when my leg
34:34cramped up
34:35did you
34:36abandon her
34:37under the
34:37overpass
34:38and drove
34:39through the
34:39rain to get
34:40to me
34:41you don't
34:42love me
34:42then why
34:43did you
34:44take her
34:44rescue whistle
34:45off your
34:45own neck
34:46and put it
34:46around mine
34:48you don't
34:49love me
34:52then why
34:53did you
34:53leave her
34:54alone
34:54in the
34:54deep sea
34:55thirteen
34:56times
34:56to come
34:57to the
34:58shallow
34:58end
34:58with me
35:01with every
35:01word
35:02ethan's face
35:03went one
35:04shade
35:04paler
35:05and my
35:06left ear
35:07it felt
35:08like a
35:08steel needle
35:09had been
35:09driven
35:09in deep
35:14i only
35:15helped you
35:15because you
35:16were so
35:16helpless
35:18i pitied
35:19you
35:21you gave
35:21me every
35:22bit of the
35:23devotion that
35:23belonged to
35:24your girlfriend
35:25and now you're
35:26telling me it
35:27was just pity
35:28ethan stopped
35:29trying to reason
35:30with her
35:31he turned to
35:32me frantic
35:33lana it
35:34wasn't like
35:35that she's
35:36the one who
35:36got the wrong
35:37idea
35:39you were the
35:39one who
35:40gave her room
35:41to get the
35:42wrong idea
35:45and you
35:45crossed the
35:46line yourself
35:47he had
35:48severed the
35:49oxygen line
35:49with his own
35:50hands
35:50and now he
35:51was asking
35:52me if i
35:53needed help
35:53breathing
35:56i don't care
35:57what you
35:57were thinking
35:58and i don't
35:59care where
36:00your heart
36:00is
36:00i won't
36:02interfere in
36:02your life
36:03i looked him
36:04straight in
36:05the eyes
36:05so please
36:08stop interfering
36:09in mine
36:10i turned around
36:11and walked back
36:11upstairs
36:12i didn't look
36:13back
36:16after that day
36:18chloe went
36:18back home
36:19but ethan
36:20didn't leave
36:21he rented a
36:23ground floor
36:23apartment in
36:24the building
36:24across from
36:25mine
36:29if he
36:30pushed open
36:30his window
36:31he could
36:32see the
36:32light in
36:32my kitchen
36:36he stopped
36:37standing outside
36:38the office
36:39building every
36:40day
36:41instead
36:42every morning
36:43a paper bag
36:45appeared hanging
36:45from the handle
36:46of my workstation
36:47door
36:49a cup of
36:50hot americano
36:51to slices
36:52of whole wheat
36:53toast
36:53no cheese
36:57when i got
36:58off work
36:59the sky
37:00was usually
37:00already dark
37:02the survey
37:03station
37:04is at a
37:05remote port
37:05the two-mile
37:07coastal road
37:07from the station
37:08to the bus
37:09stop has
37:09no street
37:10lights
37:12walking home
37:13after dark
37:13i always heard
37:15it a faint
37:15footstep
37:16trailing 10
37:17or 15
37:18yards behind
37:18me
37:19when i
37:19stopped
37:20the sound
37:21stopped
37:21when i
37:22turned a
37:22corner
37:23the sound
37:23followed
37:24one night
37:25a stray
37:26dog
37:26bolted
37:27out of
37:27nowhere
37:27and knocked
37:28out of
37:28the trash
37:29can
37:30the footsteps
37:31behind me
37:32scrambled out
37:32of rhythm
37:33he ran
37:33forward a few
37:34steps
37:35then stopped
37:36five yards
37:36away
37:38the dim
37:38glow of a
37:39street lamp
37:40fell across
37:40him
37:41he was wearing
37:42a thin trench
37:43coat
37:43clutching a
37:44long black
37:45umbrella
37:45i looked at
37:47him
37:47he took a
37:48step backward
37:54i won't
37:55come close
37:55his voice
37:57was shredded
37:57by the
37:58wind
38:00the road's
38:01too dark
38:02you can't
38:03see where
38:04you're
38:04stepping
38:06i turned
38:06away and
38:07kept walking
38:09december 24th
38:10christmas eve
38:11it doesn't
38:12really snow
38:13in new
38:13zealand
38:14but this
38:14year the
38:15temperature
38:15had dropped
38:16below
38:16freezing
38:18i finished
38:19up at
38:19work
38:20cleared
38:20my
38:21desk
38:21and walked
38:22out of
38:22the
38:22station
38:25i wrapped
38:26my scarf
38:27tighter and
38:28started down
38:28that pitch
38:29black
38:29coastal
38:30road
38:30the footsteps
38:31followed
38:32as they
38:32always
38:32did
38:37i reached
38:38my apartment
38:39building and
38:40pressed the
38:40buzzer
38:45the footsteps
38:46behind me
38:47stopped at
38:47the edge
38:47of the
38:48street lamps
38:48glow
38:51he stood
38:52there
38:52his shoulders
38:53soaked through
38:54from the
38:55rain
38:58ethan
38:58pierce
39:02here
39:04how long
39:05are you
39:05going to
39:05follow me
39:06his voice
39:07was hoarse
39:08i'm not
39:09trying to
39:09bother you
39:11i just
39:11i just
39:12want to
39:12make sure
39:12you get
39:13home
39:13safe
39:17it's
39:17cold out
39:20i looked
39:21at his
39:21lips
39:22tinged
39:23blue
39:23from the
39:23freezing
39:24air
39:24come
39:25inside
39:28the living
39:29room lights
39:29were off
39:30only a
39:31single
39:31floor
39:31lamp
39:32was on
39:34i walked
39:35into the
39:35kitchen
39:35turned on
39:36the stove
39:37i filled
39:38a pot
39:39with water
39:39and added
39:40some more
39:40cocoa powder
39:41he sat
39:42on the
39:42edge of
39:43the couch
39:43body
39:44rigid
39:44hands
39:45clasped
39:46together
39:46he didn't
39:47even dare
39:47lean back
39:49do you remember
39:51one christmas eve
39:54years ago
39:55his voice
39:56his voice came
39:56from behind
39:57me
39:59that year
39:59we were in
40:00iceland
40:01we'd just
40:02surfaced from
40:02a dive
40:03freezing
40:04you said
40:05you wanted
40:06some hot
40:06cocoa
40:07i went to
40:08three different
40:08stores and
40:09finally found
40:10cocoa
40:12that night
40:14we used to be
40:15this warm and
40:16sweet too
40:17that day
40:18he really did
40:19go to three
40:20different stores
40:20but after he
40:22came back
40:22he got a call
40:23from chloe
40:25she said
40:25she'd broken
40:26her leg
40:26at a ski
40:27resort
40:27there was
40:28no one
40:29to take
40:29her to
40:30the hospital
40:31he sat
40:32in the
40:33living room
40:33for a full
40:34hour on
40:34that long
40:35distance
40:35call
40:35arranging
40:37hospitals
40:38contacting
40:38friends
40:39finding
40:40doctors
40:42i watched
40:43the hot
40:44cocoa
40:44by my
40:45hand
40:45grow
40:45cold
40:46until a
40:46layer
40:47of
40:47white
40:47froth
40:48finally
40:48floated
40:48on top
40:49utterly
40:50disgusting
40:55in the
40:55end
40:56i threw
40:57away
40:57that cup
40:57of hot
40:58cocoa
41:03he only
41:04remembered
41:04going to
41:04three shops
41:05for it
41:06but never
41:06knew i
41:07hadn't
41:07taken
41:07a single
41:08sip
41:10i turned
41:11off the
41:12heat
41:12and poured
41:12the hot
41:13cocoa
41:13into a
41:14cup
41:16he stared
41:17at the
41:17cup
41:17of hot
41:18cocoa
41:18the veins
41:19on the
41:20back
41:20of his
41:20hands
41:20stood
41:21out
41:24and then
41:25without
41:25warning
41:26tears
41:27began
41:27falling
41:27from his
41:28eyes
41:32lana
41:35drink
41:37and
41:37after
41:38you're
41:38done
41:39don't
41:40come
41:40back
41:40he
41:42didn't
41:42speak
41:42he
41:43finally
41:43understood
41:44this
41:45wasn't
41:45a
41:45dinner
41:46of
41:46forgiveness
41:46this
41:47was
41:47the
41:47final
41:48send
41:48off
41:50he
41:51picked
41:51up
41:51the
41:51cup
41:52his
41:52hands
41:53trembling
41:53violently
41:54hot
41:55cocoa
41:55spilled
41:56all over
41:56him
41:56yet
41:57he
41:57didn't
41:57even
41:58seem
41:58to
41:58notice
42:00tears
42:01fell
42:01one
42:01after
42:02another
42:02into
42:02the
42:03hot
42:03cocoa
42:03onto
42:04the
42:04back
42:05of
42:05his
42:05hand
42:08everything
42:09you
42:09make
42:10it's
42:11always
42:11been
42:11delicious
42:12he
42:13coughing
42:14from
42:14the
42:14heat
42:14tears
42:15and
42:16mucus
42:16running
42:16together
42:18he
42:19was
42:19a
42:19complete
42:19dignity
42:20stripped
42:21wreck
42:21when he
42:22was
42:22done
42:22he
42:23stood
42:23up
42:26he
42:27pulled
42:27the
42:27door
42:27open
42:28cold
42:29wind
42:29gusted
42:29into
42:30the
42:30living
42:30room
42:33i'm
42:34sorry
42:34those
42:35were
42:36his
42:36final
42:36three
42:37words
42:37he
42:38pulled
42:38the
42:38door
42:38shut
42:40heavy
42:40footsteps
42:41echoed
42:41down
42:42the
42:42hallway
42:42fading
42:43growing
42:43distant
42:44until
42:45they
42:45disappeared
42:46completely
42:47outside
42:48the
42:48window
42:48the
42:49cold
42:49new
42:49zealand
42:50rain
42:50kept
42:50falling
42:51i
42:51picked
42:52up
42:52the
42:52empty
42:52cup
42:53and
42:53walked
42:53into
42:53the
42:53kitchen
42:55the
42:56stream
42:56of
42:57water
42:57washed
42:57over
42:58the
42:58ceramic
42:58surface
42:59erasing
43:00every
43:00trace
43:03deep
43:04inside
43:04my
43:04left
43:05ear
43:05the
43:05buzzing
43:06slowly
43:06quietly
43:07began
43:08to
43:08fade
43:08it
43:09stopped
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