- 3 hours ago
My Boyfriend Is Trapped Inside the TV
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00And how do we say goodnight, boys and girls? We count. One, two, three, four, five, six.
00:34You won't catch me. I won't catch you. Look how I roll.
00:45Trends, please. We don't follow them. We make them. 67 is a whole vibe.
00:56All right. Dude, let's just go home. I've got so much homework waiting for me, and you've already had enough
01:02riding around with these gooflers.
01:0467! I will sell your skates. 67!
01:1067!
01:17Damn it, Dev. Forget that mess. I dug up the new release, 67 drops, and they've completely lost their minds.
01:24You're right, Zoe. This stopped being a joke a long time ago.
01:34Come on, get the camera. Let's do this.
01:43Maple Falls 67 is not a curse. It's a rumor with a beat.
01:47Someone made this record blank so you'd fill in the monster yourselves.
01:50So don't chant it. Don't copy the hand thing. Don't pass it on.
01:54Urban legends only live when people repeat them. Tonight, we kill this one.
02:06Uh... Zoe?
02:31I ran it six times. The frame just froze.
02:36Twice. Figures don't record, Zoe.
02:39Zoe?
02:43Then it's the deck. Equipment, Gitch. Has to be.
02:57I got a B.
02:5967 is a D, Miss Kovac.
03:0163.
03:0867!
03:1067!
03:1264.
03:26You see what you look for.
03:29It's called Confirmation Bias
03:30There's a whole chapter on it and a book I own
03:35Oh my god, what the hell
03:36Everyone's gone crazy
03:40Six, seven
03:40Not at the table, honey
03:42Re-re-film me doing it at the game
03:44Dev says I'm gonna be famous
03:48Tell Dev fame is a pyramid scheme
04:15If you're watching this, it's already too late
04:26Theo?
04:26Before the song, didn't you?
04:28On clocks, on receipts
04:31That's why it's you
05:00Theo Mercer
05:01He sat behind me in chem
05:02He moved away in August
05:03You drove me to his going away thing
05:04Honey, I've never heard that name in my life
05:14You're warm
05:14Are you sleeping enough?
05:28Okay, let's try again
05:30We need to figure out where Theo is
05:32Now
05:33And who he is
05:41Sorry
05:41It only ends one way
05:43C-O-N-G-R-A-T-T-E-O-E
06:07Second night in a row I've seen this guy
06:09I need to figure out who he is
06:10Don't worry
06:11We'll figure this out for sure
06:13Okay, so I need you to not be weird about
06:15Stop
06:17Look
06:21This was Saturday
06:23He's been gone since
06:26August
06:45Okay
06:45You found my VR
06:47You found Riri's photos
06:48Find me now
07:10Theo
07:12What are you?
07:13You shouldn't talk to me out loud
07:14It hears rooms with screens in them
07:19Now I'm
07:20Syndicated
07:22Zoe
07:22You finished it too
07:24That means the count started
07:25You'll hear it before you see it
07:26Two knocks
07:28Knocks
07:29Great
07:29And then?
07:31Then it counts to seven
07:54And the Halloween dance committee still needs volunteers
07:57In sports
07:59In sports
07:59The Breavers fell to Crestwood
08:00Six to
08:05Six to seven
08:09gazelle
08:11Fine
08:11sooner
08:11OrΠΏΠ΅Ρ
08:12F
08:13They're
08:35Their
08:37Wait, wait
08:39Where did he
08:42Josh
08:45Announcements, Josh
08:46He's been doing them all year
08:48Who?
09:00Uh-huh
09:01And the knocks come
09:02Days apart, okay
09:04And your brother heard four on a Tuesday
09:06And on Friday he was
09:13They always hang up after the number
09:16Rule two
09:18It counts to seven
09:20Nobody's ever heard it say seven
09:22Because nobody who hears seven
09:24Is around to be interviewed
09:25That's called survivorship bias
09:26I know what it's called, Dev
09:32One more
09:33Josh went at 6.07 in the morning
09:35Your studio clock pinned at 6.07 at night
09:37It doesn't care which half of the day it gets you
09:44The minute is the minute
09:47Knock, knock, then palms
09:49Sell it
09:50Okay, 6, 7
10:04Rewind ghosts
10:06That's a thing
10:07That's totally a thing
10:13Video store
10:14Tomorrow
10:15Closing time
10:16Theo
10:17I'll tell you everything
10:18What I am
10:19What it is
10:20And why it's you
10:30It hears one channel at a time
10:33Tonight it's listening to a slumber party in Akron
10:3867 days
10:39You couldn't find a TV in 67 days?
10:41I found every TV
10:42I watched you eat cereal angry at the news
10:44You throw the spoon in the sink like it owes you money
10:47I didn't want you to see me like this
10:49Channel 30-something
10:50Public access of a person
10:52I host public access
10:54I know
10:55You promised me why
10:57Why is it me, Theo?
10:58Because of the show
10:5967 people every single week looking at you
11:02You're the only kid in this town with a live audience
11:04It watches you the way it never watched the rest of us
11:07Not like food
11:08Like
11:09Then why hasn't it taken you
11:1167 days, Theo?
11:14It can't take what won't watch it
11:17I crossed over looking the wrong way
11:19I've been looking at you
11:29Zoe, listen
11:30The count isn't a timer
11:31It's a lash
11:32Every new pair of eyes on you yanks it
11:34A whole crowd watching is a whole crowd pulling
11:36It goes faster when you
11:37It knows I'm talking to you
11:42It counts faster when you're loved
11:48It counts faster when you're loved
11:50It counts faster when you're loved
11:59It counts faster when you're loved
12:01It counts faster when you're loved
12:05It counts faster when you're loved
12:05It counts faster when you're loved
12:05It counts faster when you're loved
12:05It counts faster when you're loved
12:07It counts faster when you're loved
12:10It counts faster when you're loved
12:21mom who is that hmm oh some boy from your school it was in with the church bulletin
12:27so sad what's his name
12:37it's in with the church bell and it's so sad
13:05you're not his channel zoe
13:1727 years of kids leaving maple falls except their families can't say where to watch this
13:41retraction time 10 days ago i called the 67 thing bunk i was wrong don't sing it don't dance it
13:47and if a tape you didn't rent shows up in your machine do not finish it
13:50i don't care if you believe me tell your little brothers
13:5667 people watch this show so i'm asking 67 people good night maple falls
14:04and we're clear zoe that was good that was really
14:19turn on channel five
14:26that's me i'm famous
14:41america meet the 67 kids 6-7
14:48and get this his hometown thinks it's cursed folks we found the spooky sister tape
15:06no no no no we fed it
15:11he's the one you wanted right the kid
15:18so
15:28so
15:59Cone's in the coffee can. Watches too if they're digital.
16:06What is this place?
16:07The last room in town that can't see you. Welcome to the Countdown Club.
16:10Roll call. Say your count, not your name. I'm at four.
16:15Two, three, two, five, six.
16:18Two, three, two, five, six.
16:27Nobody came in after.
16:32Runs in the family. My sister Dinah did the exact bit in 86.
16:36Front row, big laugh, then her seat folded up for real.
16:41Nobody remembers her but me. That's the punch cone.
16:47Okay. Science time. We test every rule.
16:50Experiment one, can you drown it out?
17:12Experiment two. Starve it.
17:14Priya goes full pioneer. No screens, no glass, nothing that shines.
17:18Seven days. If it can't find me, the count can't move.
17:20And if it can?
17:21Then we learn something. That's the deal with science.
17:28Nodded. Mirrors count.
18:01I'm doing trick.
18:09You're bunk.
18:14I get the ring to myself between 2 a.m. and the farm report.
18:18Skate with me.
18:20I'm grounded.
18:22By physics.
18:24Cheat.
18:36Did you feel?
18:38That's not supposed to happen.
18:40Nothing about you is supposed to happen.
18:44Two.
18:46It counts, Packer, when you're loved.
18:49Good night, Zoe.
19:00One joker keeps stuffing extra tapes in the return slot.
19:03No labels, no cases.
19:04Fifth one this week.
19:11Who rented these?
19:13That's the thing.
19:14Nobody.
19:16Nobody.
19:25Copies.
19:26Somebody's making copies.
19:34You sign your work now?
19:36My count was at 5, Zoe.
19:37You give it someone else to watch and yours stops moving.
19:39It's in the static.
19:40It tells you.
19:40It's so easy.
19:41They're 10 years old, Riri.
19:43Half this town's renters are 10 years old.
20:01I stopped.
20:02I stopped after the playground.
20:04I swear.
20:05Tell that to his mom.
20:08Oh, wait.
20:10She doesn't remember him.
20:17Guys, guys, while we eat ourselves, it went number one.
20:22Every radio, every rink, every wedding, 40 million a day feeding it.
20:28We can't unplug America.
20:30Then we find its plug.
20:38No concert tonight?
20:41The song's for babies now.
20:48Since when?
20:50Since we watched the real thing.
20:52At Tommy's sleepover.
20:53The tape with the boy on it.
21:04We watched the whole thing.
21:06Even the part at the end with my name.
21:30I know you're listening.
21:35This house has six screens.
21:37Trade me.
21:38Whatever his count's at, move it to mine.
21:40I'm Inani.
21:41I'll finish anything you want.
21:42Just lose his number.
21:54That's so nice, Zoe.
21:58Take the deal.
22:00We counted you already.
22:02We counted him already.
22:04We'd rather have you both.
22:18Zoe, it's a producer from Rose After Dark.
22:22They want the 67 Kids family on the Halloween special.
22:34Specifically, Spooky Sister.
22:49It's a trap.
22:50You know it's a trap.
22:51The man replays your warning for laughs and now he needs you in studio?
22:55We're obviously it's a trap.
22:56So we're not going.
22:57We're absolutely going.
22:58Dev, the man books the whole country into one broadcast.
23:01He either knows nothing or everything.
23:03Both are worth the bus fee.
23:12The Spooky Sister.
23:13Love the flannel.
23:14Very authentic.
23:16You finished the tape on October 10th.
23:18That's 19 days.
23:19No but last 19 days.
23:21The polite ones get a month if they're boring.
23:22You're not boring.
23:26You want to know how a person ends up like me?
23:30Everybody does.
23:31Nobody asks.
23:371966.
23:38A kid in Dayton does a radio show every night into his dad's tape recorder.
23:42Weather, sports, dedications.
23:43You know how many listeners he had?
23:46Zero.
23:48One.
23:59It listened.
24:00Every night.
24:02It never tuned out.
24:03It never laughed at me.
24:03It never said, that's enough, Casey.
24:05Go to sleep.
24:07You ever been listened to like that?
24:09It's better than love.
24:10It's ratings.
24:11It's ratings.
24:14What does it cost?
24:16Nothing.
24:16I spread the sound.
24:18My count stays parked forever greenlit.
24:21Same deal's open to you.
24:23You and the kid brother walk.
24:25You just have to help me sing it to everyone else.
24:36Who's Milton Oates?
24:41Kids called him Uncle Milt.
25:03Channel 67.
25:04Local kids show, 61 to 67.
25:06Host vanishes on air mid-broadcast.
25:08At the count of six, the picture went to snow and 17 children in that studio audience were never accounted
25:14for.
25:15We don't keep the clippings out anymore.
25:17They kept ending up by the photocopper.
25:28It's not a sample.
25:29It's the same recording.
25:30The single is the show.
25:32And I traced Uncle M's P.O. Box.
25:33Box 67, Maple Falls Post Office, rented continuously since 1968.
25:37Paid yearly, in cash.
25:38Somebody's still paying postage for a dead man.
25:4027 years of something keeping his box and his song alive.
25:55Hey!
25:56I know him!
26:00Lucas.
26:02Buddy.
26:03Where do you know him from?
26:05He counts me to sleep.
26:201967.
26:21A counting show is cancelled.
26:22One number short.
26:231994.
26:23The count comes back with a beat under it.
26:26The song didn't come to Maple Falls.
26:27It came from here.
26:29We're not victims, guys.
26:30We're the source.
26:30The final broadcast.
26:31Up at 67.
26:32If recording exists, it shows whatever the copy is.
26:33And where do you find a tape that's been missing for 27 years?
26:39Where it was born.
26:43Where it was born.
27:05Zoe, it heard the meeting.
27:07It hears rooms with doesn't matter.
27:09It's moving the tape.
27:10Tonight.
27:10Theo, slow down.
27:13And listen to me.
27:15Listen.
27:16You're counting.
27:19The clip show.
27:2140 million strangers watched me become a joke.
27:25It fell every one.
27:3612.
27:57Six o'clock, episode at six, show ends at seven, the counting hour, six to seven, it
28:05was never a name, it was instructions, they wrote to him, they wanted to be counted, there's
28:22thousands of these, 67, on the nose, 66 for the audience, and one for the count,
28:43guys, somebody beat us to the archive by decades, or it ate its own reruns,
29:04boys and girls, they're telling us we have to say good night early tonight, but we haven't
29:10counted, we always count, one, two, three, four, five, six,
29:30will you help me finish boys and girls?
29:42It's in the glass, don't look at the glass, the doors are glass, Deb!
30:11Penny OS, eyes down, walk to my voice, now.
30:24You're the tissue for a lady, and you're trespassing on a grave.
30:36You, the one that's loud around, when'd you finish the tape?
30:41October 10th.
30:4320 days.
30:44In 27 years, that's only ever happened to one other person, girl, and he wasn't lucky
30:48either.
30:50Who?
30:57The man whose name is still wet.
31:10I was 10.
31:13Front row, every Saturday.
31:15Front row, every Saturday.
31:15You have to understand, he wasn't a monster on the show, he was the only one who looked
31:19at us.
31:24Lonely kids.
31:26Lashkey kids.
31:28The tallymen saw everyone.
31:30And we'd put our little palms up.
31:33Milf was losing the slot, ratings, so he found a way to make the show stick.
31:40He fed the puppet the only thing children have worth taking.
31:44Attention.
31:46Full Saturdays of it.
31:48And it worked.
31:49God help him.
31:50And help help him.
31:51It worked.
31:52Until the network pulled the plug.
31:54Mid count.
31:57Six.
32:03A counting thing that never reached seven.
32:05It's been finishing that count ever since.
32:07One child at a time.
32:09Seating them in the audience.
32:10Now you.
32:12It counts children to seven, girl.
32:1420 days past your number and walking around free.
32:16It is not seating you.
32:18Then what's it doing?
32:21It counted me to 66 before I shut my eyes.
32:24I think it's counting you to 67.
32:27It's not selling you a ticket, Zoe.
32:29It's casting you.
32:38Reel one of the last broadcast, 27 years in the dark.
32:43Reel one?
32:55Reel two?
32:57Stolen.
32:58Last Tuesday.
32:59Lock cut clean.
33:01Foil folded politely.
33:03There's exactly one man alive rich enough to want it and damned enough to know it exists.
33:09Rose?
33:11First rule of the original.
33:13It shows what the copies hide.
33:19Second rule.
33:20Nobody watches alone.
33:40That's a 1985 walk mat.
33:42That kid.
33:43Look at his shoes.
33:44Those are new.
33:45They're not gone.
33:47They're seated.
33:57They're seated.
34:04he's .
34:05He's been refusing it?
34:0867 days.
34:09He's been refusing it.
34:31Halloween night, live, coast to coast, the 6-7 special, 67 million of us...
34:37Casting Real Cursed Kids Regional Auditions.
34:45He's not booking a show. He's herding us into one.
34:54Riri Santos, tell me you brought me Halloween gold.
34:59Better.
35:02The network's casting Maple Falls Kids for the special, and I can deliver the 67 Kids Whole
35:07Circle. Exclusive. One condition, I name the group. All of us, together, or nothing.
35:12Kid, you just made my career.
35:15Somebody should get one.
35:30Of course it is.
35:40Welcome, Countdown Club. Make yourselves at home. He is so excited. You're tonight's show.
35:48Knock, knock, palm. Knock, knock, palm, palms.
35:54That's not choreography. That's lethargy.
35:58Keep him busy.
36:03Question. In the Eunicee section, are we counting from the downbeat or from the knocks?
36:08Because rhythmically, those are very different philosophies.
36:36Hi, gorgeous.
36:38Gorgeous.
36:49So...
36:50So...
36:56I never signed anything.
36:59The date, Riri, the date...
37:01Passing is signing.
37:04Signing.
37:04Signing.
37:22you found my favorite episode
37:26you stole it from a woman in a trailer
37:31i preserved it everything ends up with me eventually
37:34i'm syndication
37:38what's the special casey
37:4167 million people live counting in union it counts to seven and takes one kid
37:46so what does it take when the whole country counts with it
37:52you think i'm the priest of this thing i'm the entree
37:55aren't you entree the deal doesn't park your count kid
37:59it compoundates it every person i spread the sound to added to my tab
38:0330 years of top ratings though
38:05do my math
38:1067 million
38:15on halloween all debts come due
38:17every event pays at once
38:18and i am the single largest serving of attention in the history of the human
38:21praise
38:25you wanted to know what i am i'm the only man alive more scared than you
38:40then you're with this
38:42kennis
38:47theo your seat is cold
38:54run kid
39:07the gate needs a badge
39:09mine's the only one that's really so badge us through and come on
39:14it doesn't work like that
39:15i signed so
39:18tuesday they'd take me anyway or thursday or on air with my mom watching
39:23i rented it to four kids
39:25four
39:25so this once it doesn't get passed on
39:28it stops at me
39:29that's the whole apology
39:30that's all i've got
39:30hurry
39:32make it count
39:36god
39:36phrasing
39:41october 30th 1994
39:42riri santos
39:44taking her seat
39:56before we left town i pulled a video store return slot
39:58four more copies
40:00burned them behind the orpheum
40:02for her
40:03episode 67
40:04complete
40:09original shows what the copies hide
40:11so somebody has to actually watch it
40:13to the end
40:14who
40:17the one who's already late
40:46you shouldn't be alone for this
40:51i'm not
40:52epshire
40:53count
40:54allies
40:55fame
41:06no
41:08no they don't get to end you mid-count
41:10not you
41:10you're the only one who ever listened to me too
41:16new deal
41:17take the host
41:18let the audience go home
41:20if someone is seeing this
41:21then it found a person it can't finish counting
41:24that only happens once a broadcast
41:27that's the co-host sweetheart
41:28that's you now
41:30he can't sleep until someone says good night
41:32and the sign-off was always my line
41:34it's yours now
41:36use it gently
41:37he was always gentle with me
41:42zoe
41:42zoe
41:42zoe
41:42zoe
41:42zoe
41:43zoe
41:44zoe
41:44zoe
41:44zoe
41:45zoe
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