- 9 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:12I'm sorry, Mother. I still cannot hold the Trident.
00:19Do not despair, my son. You know the ancient law.
00:23The Relic will not answer until you unite with your destined love.
00:27It is the only way to unlock your full power.
00:31You must journey to the mortal realm and find her.
00:35Hear me, Poseidon. Among all your siblings, you alone remain unchosen by the Trident.
00:40It shall be done, Mother. I will not fail you.
01:17If a little dirt and rags repel them, they certainly don't deserve to be my destined mate.
01:21If a little dirt and rags repel them, they certainly don't deserve to be my destined mate.
01:31Jennifer, you're nothing but a blood-sucking leet.
01:34You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll throw your ass straight back into that rat-infested teller.
01:41But, Father, I can't marry Paul.
01:44The guy is knocking on Seventy's door. He can't even stomach a boat ride anymore.
01:47I can earn that hundred gold pieces myself. Just cut me some slack.
01:51You don't get to call the shots here.
01:54You should be kissing Mr. Paul's feet for even looking at you.
01:57Your only job is keeping him happy.
02:00Don't make him regret dropping a hundred gold balls on you.
02:04Ah, Jen, Daddy picked out a fiancé for me, too.
02:06We're in the same boat.
02:08I'm sure Mr. Paul will treat you like royalty, just like my Ryan treats me.
02:11Are you kidding me? You're marrying a young, gorgeous guy and being pawned off to a 70-year-old geese
02:15with one foot in the grave
02:15and as his side piece, not his wife. It's not the same, Michelle.
02:21Shut your damn mouth, you ungrateful bitch!
02:23I've already pocketed Paul's gold. He's throwing in two ships once you're delivered.
02:27Like it or not, you are warming his bed tonight.
02:31If you actually force me into this, I swear to God I'll run off and become a nun.
02:36I'll pray every single day for the Almighty to punish you. You will rot in hell!
02:42Fine, Jennifer!
02:44You want to play hardball? I'll give you one last choice.
02:48If you're too good for Mr. Paul, then you can marry this stinking beggar right here, right now!
03:06Fine! Bring it on! I'll marry the beggar today!
03:14Hey, you pathetic piece of trash. Let's be real. You were destined to die alone in a gutter.
03:19But today's your lucky day. You won't say no to a free wife, right?
03:33Wait, she didn't even flinch at the sight of me? Looks like this mortal is built different.
03:39Yeah.
03:43I'd be absolutely honored to take her as my wife.
03:58Holy crap! I can't believe Mason actually pawned his own daughter off to that bottom-feeling tramp.
04:02Jesus, look at the guy. He couldn't rub two pennies together if his life depended on it.
04:05Jennifer's in for a world of hurt.
04:10Father never gave a damn about me.
04:12He's a cold-blooded snake who only cares about my price tag.
04:17I'd rather tie the knot with a street rat than be auctioned off like meat.
04:21I am so done with this toxic hellhole.
04:26Hear what they're whispering, Jennifer?
04:28If my beggar routine gross you out, you can still walk away.
04:34No way.
04:35You might think I'm crazy, but...
04:38To me, you're a literal godsend.
04:43Let's get out of here, honey.
04:44I mean my dear husband.
04:56I'm sorry, Jennifer.
04:58What you see is what you get.
04:59No cozy honeymoon suite tonight.
05:01Just this beat-up, drafty old fishing boat.
05:03Hey, cut that out.
05:04We're hitched now, and I'm not looking down on you.
05:06For better or worse, we're in this ride together.
05:16Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
05:26Oh, oh.
05:30Oh, oh, oh, oh.
05:41Oh, my God, what the hell just happened?
05:43Where did this insane crystal palaces come from?
05:54Don't sweat the details right now.
06:01Jennifer, my sweet, it's still our wedding night.
06:05Are you ready to give yourself to me?
06:10Absolutely.
06:11Like I said, we're husband and wife now.
06:19Trust me, I'm gonna make you the happiest woman on the planet.
06:27I'm gonna make you the best man.
06:30Oh, my God.
06:38I'm gonna make you the best man.
06:42Oh, my God.
06:54Lord Poseidon!
06:55Sorry to be afraid of the most.
06:56to crash the party, but Zeus is stuck in the Divine Labyrinth. The All-Mother needs you
06:59for a rescue op. Stat!
07:10Sweetheart, an emergency just came up and I've got to go. Don't panic, I'll be back in your
07:14arms in nine days, tops.
07:33Mother, what the hell happened? Why do I feel like I just woke up from a century-long fever
07:38dream? Poseidon, you're finally awake. Remember that ancient curse you tripped bailing Zeus
07:47out? That's what knocked you out cold.
08:05Merciful Seas, the Trident actually accepted you? Don't tell me you finally tracked down
08:11the mortal whose head over heels for you.
08:23Spill it! Who is she?
08:26Just a regular mortal girl. But to me, she's everything. We're already married, Mother.
08:34If it weren't for that damn curse, I'd have paraded her up to Olympias ages ago.
08:39Praise the oceans! Listen to me, kiddo. Go fetch her right this second. I am literally
08:46dying to meet this girl.
08:49Say less, Mother. Consider it done.
08:51Hold on, Poseidon. There's a catch. You've been in that coma for nine whole years. Which
08:59means...
09:00That poor girl has been waiting for you for nine solid years!
09:05Are you kidding? I ghosted Jennifer for nine fucking years? No, this is beyond messed up.
09:10I need to get down there, right now.
09:26Ugh, too basic. Go raid the Divine Vault for the golden apples. I need to absolutely blow this girl's mind.
09:33Actually, scratch that. I'm crashing the mortal realm to roll out the red carpet myself.
09:54It's been nine goddamn years. How much longer is it going to take for him to show his face again?
10:00Jennifer! Why the hell is my chamber pot from yesterday still sitting there?
10:08I'm literally scrubbing the clothes you and Father just dumped on me. I'll get to it!
10:12You brainless cow! The goddamn stench ruined my dresses! I let you and your two little bastards crash here.
10:18I feed you, and you can't even handle one basic chore?
10:21Hey, back the hell off. This is my house, too.
10:27You have no right to run your mouth at me! Those brats of yours are just like you! Ungrateful, blood
10:32-sucking parasites!
10:34Mom!
10:36You know damn well the kids and I bust our asses. Look around! We're the only ones keeping this damn
10:41house from falling apart!
10:46That's because doing the grunt work is exactly what you filthy roaches were born to do!
10:51Back off! Don't you dare touch our mother!
10:59You filthy little street-wrap bastards! That's what you get for running your mouths at Lady Jessica!
11:04You freaks should have been chucked in the ocean at birth!
11:07Strip them, douse them in ice water, and lock them in the stables!
11:09Sneak them a single crumb, and they'll be hell to pay!
11:14Chill, Mum. Don't forget Ryan's chauffeuring us to the Temple of Poseidus.
11:19Just make these useless peasants haul the offerings.
11:22Shake a leg and get in the damn carriage! We can't keep my big-shot son-in-law waiting!
11:44This is seriously creeping me out. Why does this temple feel so warm and familiar?
11:54This is seriously creeping me out. Why does this temple feel so warm and familiar?
11:56Wait, that era? The bloodline of the Sea God? How the hell did it end up here?
12:07O almighty Lord of the Sea, we offer these tributes with the purest intentions.
12:13Bless our merchant fleets and bring us great fortune.
12:17Stop standing around like idiots! Your only job right now is to pray to the Sea God to protect Ryan's
12:22fleet!
12:24Honestly, letting gutter trash like you even breathe in the direction of the Sea God is a massive privilege.
12:29Keep dragging your feet and I'll assume you're itching for the stables.
12:34Maybe if I pray to the statue it'll actually bring my husband back safely.
12:41No! Stop! We cannot bear the worship of the heirs of the Sea God!
12:48O great Sea God, please just let my husband come home soon.
12:53O great Sea God, please just let our dad come home safely.
13:21What the actual hell just happened?
13:24Why did the statues just nuke themselves?
13:27Why did the statues just nuke themselves?
13:30Somebody seriously pissed off the Sea God!
13:33His rage just blew those statues to smithogreens!
13:43If the Sea God is throwing a tantrum, anyone who makes a dime off the ocean is screwed!
13:49God damn it! Who has the absolute stones to piss off the Sea God?
13:53If the ocean slaps a curse on us, our entire cash flow goes down the toilet!
13:59Listen up, people! It has to be them!
14:01Their filthy bastard bloodline completely rash the temple's vibe!
14:05So it was you, three little rats!
14:07Growl for forgiveness right this minute, or I swear to God your lives are gonna be a waking nightmare!
14:15Son of a bitch! How dare they treat the heirs to the sea like garbage!
14:19We're stuck in phantom mode and can't do shit!
14:22Keto, ping Lord Poseidon right now!
14:25No! My kids' blood isn't filthy!
14:28We literally haven't done a single thing wrong, so why the hell would the Sea God be pissed at us?
14:32This is absolute bullshit!
14:34Shut your mouth, peasant! Grab them! Burn them at the stake!
14:38The only way to calm the Sea God's rage is absolute agony!
14:51No! Stop!
15:02Holy crap, it's Lord Poseidon!
15:09Stand down!
15:19Hold up, did anyone else just hear that?
15:23Damn it, we're too far! Poseidon can't manifest here!
15:26Just hang on a little longer!
15:28My lady, little ones, you gotta believe me, he's coming!
15:32Burning them ain't enough for the Sea God.
15:34He's sending us a sign.
15:38Father, word is the Sea God skins traitors alive,
15:41packs their raw flesh with boiling sand and crushed shells,
15:44turning them into gravel to walk on for eternity.
15:47Father, my kids and I are innocent.
15:50The real sinners are these sick freaks putting their hands on children!
15:53Oh, so the Sea God's pissed at us? His biggest believers?
15:57Bullshit!
15:57I dump cash and prayers on his altar every year, while you, you filthy peasant, ain't cocked up shit!
16:02Zip it! Zip it, Jennifer! You're a completely lost Oz!
16:08Mom! Mom!
16:14Look, Jen, I didn't want to get my hands dirty, but you brought the Sea God's haul down on us.
16:19Skinning you alive is the only way we're buying our ticket out of this!
16:25Back off, you ugly witch! Don't you dare lay a finger on our mom!
16:36You little maggots! This is what happens when you piss off the Sea God!
16:42You're not dragging our whole family to hell with you!
16:52You dirty little bastards! Don't think for a second you're dragging us down with you!
17:00No! Michelle, let go of my kid!
17:04My kid! I'll take the hint! Just don't touch them!
17:10Jennifer! This is your goddamn fault!
17:13If you hadn't hitched your wagon to that filthy street rat and pout these bastards, we wouldn't be in this
17:18mess!
17:19No, put this all on me!
17:21Chris and Sophia are good kids! They're your own flesh and blood! For God's sake, you can't do this!
17:28Get the hell off me! I don't have any filthy grandchildren!
17:31What the hell are you brain-dead idiots waiting for? Skin them alive already!
17:41These mortals! No! These monsters! How dare they stoop this low!
17:50Screw it! I'm taking my true form to save the heirs!
18:00Thamas, stop! You know the rules! If you manifest in the mortal realm, you break the law of fate! You'll
18:07be wiped from existence!
18:12No! Get your filthy hands off my kids!
18:24Do it like this! Put your backs into it! If you let these little rats slip because you grew a
18:30conscience, I'll sell your asses to the galleys!
18:37I can't stomach this anymore! Even if it vaporizes my soul, I am saving those heirs!
18:48Wait, Samus! I feel the power of the Sea God!
19:09Back the hell off!
19:12Back the hell off!
19:20Look! It's Lord Poseidon's! The boss is actually back!
19:28Jennifer, sweetheart, I'm here! I am so sorry I let you go through this hell!
19:32It's really you? Thank God he actually brought you back to me! Look! This is Chris and Sophia! Our kids!
19:43Dad! We totally knew it was you! You actually came back!
19:48What in the hell just happened? Jesus! How'd I end up eating dirt?
19:53Father, forget that! Look over there! That filthy beggar is back!
19:58Talk! Right now!
20:01Who did this? Which one of you sick freaks had the balls to touch Jennifer and my kids?
20:07You don't get to question us! Jennifer and your two little roaches pissed off the Sea God!
20:12They brought this shitstorm on us! As their father, you should be paying for their sins with your life!
20:18Almighty Sea God, please forgive us! These four impure wretches aren't part of our family! Don't lump us in with
20:24their sins! I'll skin them and burn them alive right now to appease your rage!
20:35You absolute clowns! You keep running your mouths about my family pissing off the Sea God without realizing I am
20:43the Sea God!
20:59Oh, Poseidon! Holy crap! He really is the Sea God!
21:03Oh great Sea God, please forgive us! Mason and his screwed up family pulled the strings! We're innocent!
21:09Don't buy his bullshit! Open your eyes! It's just a cheap dark magic trick!
21:13If the real Sea God was here, we'd all be dead meat!
21:17He actually has the balls to impersonate the Sea God!
21:20If the real God finds out we worship the damn warlock, we're cooked!
21:24We gotta skin this freak and his family alive before anyone finds out!
21:28You arrogant, brain-death mortals! You tortured my wife and kids, so now, I'm Thing Terrive, I'm bringing down the
21:37ocean's wrath!
21:39I'll give you a front-row seat to exactly who you're messing with!
21:49No freaking way! Is this filthy beggar actually the Sea God?
21:54No freaking way! Is this filthy beggar actually the Sea God?
22:16What the hell is happening to my hand?
22:34Wait, why did the Sea God statue just blow to pieces?
22:38You brain-dead idiots! The real Sea God is pissed because this peasant is playing dress-up with his name!
22:45Help me pin this bastard down and finish him!
22:48Step on it! If we don't string them up right now, the Sea God is gonna wipe us off the
22:52map!
22:53The ocean will swallow us whole!
22:55Freeze!
22:57Look! He's running on fumes! Now's our window to take this Warwick out!
23:02What the hell is going on?
23:04Enough!
23:06I'll let it slide you got played earlier.
23:08But from this second on, if you touch my wife and kids, I'll rain literal hellfire on you!
23:13You gullible morons!
23:16Everyone knows Jennifer hitched a beggar nine years ago.
23:20Like the Sea-Dotted would moo light as a tramp.
23:23Like he'd knock up a slut like Jennifer and just poop into thin air!
23:27I bet my bottom dollar this rat spent the last nine years grinding dark magic!
23:35Damn straight. A true god is untouchable.
23:39You hack this warlock to pieces.
23:43And I'll toss you ten gold coins right here.
23:47Right now.
24:01Un-freaking-believable. The guy's literally made of steel!
24:09Almighty Sea-God, please forgive your cluteless blind believers.
24:15You unrepentant mortals.
24:18You actually tried to weaponize my own followers against me?
24:22You vicious brain-dead clowns.
24:25Time to face the music!
24:32Holy crap! He really is the Sea-God!
24:34We are dead meat!
24:40What just happened? Why am I running on empty?
24:42No. The coma.
24:44I've burned through all my divine MOGA fighting off that damn curse for nine years.
24:51This damn sorcerer is gaslighting us with illusion!
24:54We need to get the High Priest down here to wreck him!
24:57You absolute idiots!
24:59Do you seriously think this washed-up bum is the Sea-God?
25:02He's just a wicked warlock!
25:04If he was actually Poseidon, he wouldn't be this pathetic!
25:09It's an ancient curse.
25:11I tank my powers fighting it off. That's why I'm weakened.
25:14You brain-dead sheep! Only morons swallow a lie that pathetic.
25:18Anyone who sides with this warlock has catched hell when the real God finds out.
25:30Shut the hell up!
25:32Who's got the nerve to impersonate the Sea-God under my roof?
25:42A little birdie told me some crack-pop in here is parading around calling himself the Sea-God.
25:50Your Holiness, it's this wicked warlock. He's using dark magic to fake being the Sea-God and scam our tributes.
25:55High Priest, you're the only hotline to the Sea-God. If he was really coming down, he'd have given you
26:01a heads-up.
26:08I haven't heard a damn thing thing about the Sea-God coming down.
26:12You're just some two-bit sorcerer using cheap magic to play God.
26:17The High Priest is his top servant! This guy really is just a fraud putting on a cheap magic act!
26:24Make him pay!
26:28Thank God for the High Priest. We almost bought the scam.
26:33The Sea-God would have been pissed, and we'd be dead meat!
26:40What a joke. I don't have some mortal messenger down here. He's full of shit.
26:45You arrogant little speck. Did you really think you could hijack my name without facing my wrath?
26:50You son of a bitch! How dare you slander me!
26:53I'm tossing your ass in the dungeon and executing you myself!
26:56Oh!
26:58Oh!
27:00Oh!
27:17Oh!
27:17Oh!
27:19Holy crap! What's happening? The High Priest just got zapped by lightning!
27:23Is that guy actually the Sea-God?
27:29Bullshit!
27:30Impossible!
27:32Yeah, that was the Sea-God's wrath!
27:34Warning me!
27:35Because you spinless cowards are dragging your feet!
27:39Letting this goddamn warlock run free in his temple!
27:43Oh, it was his wrath, alright.
27:45But who do you think called it down?
27:48Listen up!
27:49Defy the Sea-God!
27:51And you'll get worse than lightning!
27:54He'll unleash a tidal wave and wash every last traitor straight to hell!
28:10Ignorant Sheep
28:26No freaking way!
28:35No freaking way!
28:38No freaking way!
28:41Couldn't lay a finger on my family
28:46Guys, listen
28:47There is zero chance he's the sea god
28:49Since when does a god fall for a random munal?
28:51It's a joke
28:52He's a cheap warlock
28:54Hold the line
28:55Did you idiots forget his orders?
28:57Want to get swallowed by a tidal wave?
28:59We're dead meat if you back down
29:02But his voodoo is too strong
29:04We can't even dent this freakish water wall
29:08Bullshit
29:09Every trick has a loophole
29:10Hurl every sharp object we've got
29:12Something's bound to bust this cheap-ass force mailed
29:22Dad, you just whipped up a freaking magical shield out of thin air?
29:26Are you actually the sea god?
29:30You bet he is, sweetie
29:31Your dad would never lie to you
29:36Alright, if standard weapons can't cut through this voodoo
29:39It's time to bring out the big gun
29:43Watch and weep, warlock
29:46I don't care how strong your mojo is
29:49It ain't surviving the sea god's anchor
29:56Trident, shield Genevieve
30:10Trident, shield Genevieve
30:11Trident, shield Genevieve
30:23Are you kidding me?
30:25How did the sea god's anchor snap like a twig?
30:27Who the hell are you?
30:30I warned you, you absolute fools
30:33Open your damn eyes
30:34This is the trident
30:36The ultimate symbol of the ocean
30:38And I am its master
30:39Poseidon, the sea god
30:42The sea god?
30:44He actually is the sea god
30:46Sweet Jesus, what the hell have I done?
30:50You've hijacked my name to scam my believers for years
30:54Just to line your own pockets
30:56That is an unforgivable sin
31:05No, almighty sea god
31:06Mercy
31:07William brainmashed us
31:09We never wanted to hurt your family
31:12Lord Simon, please spare us
31:15Jennifer
31:15These monsters put you and the kids through absolute hell
31:19It's your call
31:20How do you want me to finish them?
31:23No
31:24Jennifer
31:24My precious daughter, don't do this
31:26You know me, I would never truly hurt you
31:28Okay, I screwed up, I admit it
31:31But I see the light now
31:32We share the same blood
31:33We're family
31:34Please, Jennifer
31:36Don't let him wipe us off the map over a grudge
31:39Think of the kids
31:41Exactly
31:41Jennifer, my sweet sister
31:44We share the same blood
31:46I swear to god, I'll never pull this shit again
31:49Please, cut us a break
31:53Honey, I'm not a monster like them
31:57They still share blood with our kids
32:00I won't plant that toxic seed of hatred in Chris and Sophia's heads
32:04Let's just walk away
32:06I just want a peaceful life
32:29Well, look at you, gorgeous
32:32You must be my boy, Poseidon's wife
32:35Absolutely stunning
32:48Mother
32:49Oh my goodness
32:51And who are these two adorable little monkeys
32:56Mother
32:57These are the kids Jennifer gave me
32:59Pretty cute, right?
33:01Grandma
33:02Grandma
33:05Are you kidding me?
33:07Nobody told me I hit the absolute jackpot
33:12I packed way too light
33:14But don't worry, darlings
33:15Grandma's gonna spoil you rotten once we get home
33:23What the actual hell
33:26I've never seen this much gold
33:30One single gem off those chests could buy out our entire fleet
33:39Come along, my precious grandbabies
33:42Let grandma show you how we do real gifts
34:05Take a look, kiddos
34:07A little welcome gift from grandma
34:10What do you think?
34:11We'd love anything you give us, grandma
34:13But there's literally nothing here
34:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
34:36Whoa, this is freaking awesome!
34:44Oh, it melts my heart to see you love it
34:47Thanks a million, grandma
34:49Jennifer, my dear
34:51Slap on this pearl necklace and you'll literally never age
34:55This bracelet makes you bulletproof to disease
34:57And this ring calls down lightning on demand
35:00Just a little welcome to the family starter pack
35:02No way, mother
35:04These are priceless
35:04I can't accept them
35:09Oh my god, I am so, so sorry
35:11I swear it slipped
35:12Jessica used to beat me black and blue just for breaking a cheap bowl
35:15Now I've shattered something priceless from the sea god's mother
35:18She's gonna skin me alive
35:20Hey, deep breaths, Jennifer
35:22Relax
35:23Remember, mother gave those to you
35:25They're yours now
35:26You can smash every last one of them if it makes you happy
35:33Oh, sweetheart, no
35:35This is 100% on me
35:36I totally forgot that necklace is so packed with magic
35:39It shatters on impact
35:41I can't believe I almost gave you a heart attack
35:43Bad grandma
35:44Jennifer, honey
35:45Stop walking on eggshells
35:46Chuck this bling at the wall for fun
35:48Break it all
35:49Bring fresh batches
35:50Until you realize you're one of us
35:52Thank you, mother
35:55Hold on, Poseidon
35:56Where's your gift?
35:57This poor girl went through nine years of hell
35:59Because you face-planted into a coma
36:00Treat her like royalty
36:02Or I'll personally kick your ass to the curb
36:04Mother, chill
36:05I already hooked Jennifer up with a massive gift back at my palace
36:09I just didn't bring it
36:10Because I was rushing to save her
36:13I'll grab it the second we can't breath her, babe
36:18Hold the phone
36:19I brought a little something for my new sister-in-law, too
36:27Look, I'm really sorry, Jennifer
36:29This whole disaster is basically my fault
36:31You and the kids got dragged through the mud because of me
36:34Consider this a my bad care package
36:36A massive dose of raw divine power
36:38Zeus, you absolute meathead
36:39Did you completely forget?
36:41Jennifer is still 100% human
36:43Her mortal body can't tank raw divine power yet
36:46Ah, crap
36:48My bad, Jennifer
36:49I totally dropped the ball on that one
36:51Brain frat
36:52Hand it over
36:55I'll just convert your raw power into a mountain of jewelry
36:58For Jennifer to make up for your screw-up
37:01Jennifer, our wedding down here was pretty bearspone and my family missed it
37:05Let's do a massive blowout
37:06Invite the whole pantheon to shower you and the kids with blessings
37:09Sorry, honey
37:10Can we skip the blowout?
37:11Chris, Sophia, and I are literally nobodies
37:14We'd stick out like Serethys partying with actual gods
37:17I'm just really freaked out
37:19Are they gonna act like Aunt Michelle and beat us up for being trash?
37:23We don't need them
37:24Just you and dad is enough
37:29My poor sweet babies, you've been through the wrencher
37:31Listen to grandma, okay?
37:33That nightmare is over
37:34None of my kids are toxic snobs like that
37:37They'll treat you like absolute royalty
37:38Damn right
37:39I guarantee they'll welcome you with open arms
37:41And if you're still spooked
37:43I swear on my life
37:44As long as I'm breathing
37:45Nobody lays a finger on you
37:47Okay, Besteiden
37:48I trust you
37:59The wedding dress is the main event
38:01And these mortal rags are tragically basic
38:05Even top-tier royal outfits aren't good enough for our Jennifer
38:13Grandma, I brought the wardrobe
38:23Jennifer, go nuts
38:25Pick out absolutely anything you want
38:28Up here, we use magic power like cash
38:31And Zeus' apology fund is basically a bottomless black card
38:36Unreal
38:39It's so insanely soft
38:42I've been stuck in patched up potato sacks my whole life
38:45I'm actually allowed to wear this?
38:51Obviously
38:51But Zeus specifically ordered that your actual wedding outfits be custom-made by yours truly
39:02Hey Jennifer, look at me
39:04By the almighty ocean
39:06My beautiful wife
39:07How did you get so breathtakingly gorgeous?
39:10Mom, you look insanely pretty
39:11I had zero clue you were this stunning, Jennifer
39:14And your kids are adorable
39:15Look, I whipped up 200 everyday outfits on the fly
39:18Just rock these around the palace
39:19This is just...
39:20Thank you so, so much
39:22We absolutely love it
39:25Don't mention it
39:26But hey, Grandma
39:28Jennifer and the kids are practically skin and bones
39:30We need to put some meat on them
39:32Hestia's actually been cooking up a storm
39:34Pretty sure she's en route with a massive feast just for Jennifer and the kids
39:38She even called dibs on catering the wedding
39:40You guys seriously don't have to go all out for me like this
39:42This is way too much
39:44Jennifer, you've raised two kids solo while getting stomped on by monsters
39:48Listen to me
39:48You need to seriously carb load
39:50Damn right
39:51Your health is the only thing I care about
39:53Don't fight us
39:54Just be a good girl and eat up
40:02Hey there, Jennifer, come on over
40:04Dig in and let me know what hits the spot
40:15Awesome!
40:16I didn't even know food could taste this freaking good
40:24Come on, Jennifer, let your husband pamper you for a second
40:26Say ah
40:44Hope you like the setup, babe
40:46Mother went totally overboard
40:47If you hate any of it, just say the word
40:49I'll tear it down and start from scratch
40:51No sweat
40:51Oh, don't even worry about it, honey
40:54I'm obsessed with it
40:57Jennifer
40:59Mother's got Chris and Sophia for the night
41:01So we've got the place to ourselves
41:03What do you say we go for baby number three?
41:06Oh, honey, no
41:08Three kids?
41:10I'd lose my mind trying to handle all of them
41:11Babe, you're married to the sea god
41:14Even if we're swamped
41:15My mom and siblings are right next door
41:17Our kids will never be alone
41:20Plus, my niece is literally the goddess of childbirth
41:24I'd put her on speed dial
41:25You wouldn't feel a thing
41:27All right, all right
41:29You're the boss
41:48God, Jennifer
41:49You're just as breathtaking as the day we married
41:55Grandma, where's mom?
42:04She's the VIP today
42:06Why is she M.I.A.?
42:08Hold on a minute, kiddo
42:10Let's go track down your dad and figure this out
42:15Hey, Pistidon
42:16Why the holdup with Jennifer?
42:18Did we hit a snag?
42:21Well, Jennifer and I didn't get any sleep until the sun came up
42:24She's dead to the world, so I figured I'd let her rest
42:26I just slipped out
42:28Freaking believable
42:29The wedding is literally about to start
42:31Could you really not keep it in your pants for one night?
42:33All right, Mother, chill
42:34I'm going to get her right now
42:44Holy crap, Poseidon actually let me sleep in?
42:47It's our damn wedding day
42:48I'm going to be so late
42:49I've got to sprint
42:58Mother playing favorites, as always
43:01Giving a punk like Poseidon a palace this sick
43:15I'm real
43:18What's an absolute dime like you doing hiding out in a place like this?
43:23Hey, gorgeous
43:24Hades, god of the underworld
43:26Ditch this snooze fest and come be my queen
43:29Yeah, hard pass
43:30Not interested
43:37Cute
43:38But that's not really your call to make, sweetheart
43:47Back off!
43:59Hades, what the hell do you think you're doing?
44:05Well, color me shocked
44:08Who'd have guessed a stunner like this was hitched to a meathead like you?
44:17Hades, if we didn't share a mother, I'd gut you where you stand
44:25What the hell is going on here?
44:29Hades, how did I raise such a scumbag?
44:33Apologize to Jennifer
44:35Right now!
44:37My bad, Jennifer
44:37Didn't know who you were
44:39Take half my divine power as a peace offering
44:41It'll make you completely immortal
44:43Just let it slide, mother
44:44The wedding's starting
44:45Let's not waste another second on this creep
44:56In the name of the sea god
44:58I swear Jennifer is my one and only wife
45:00From this day forward, she shares the full power of the ocean with me
45:05I swear on my life to be completely faithful to Poseidon
45:09Until my last breath
45:21Mom and dad are going to live happily ever after with us
45:40Grandma, mom only wakes up on time when we're around
45:43We want to have a sleepover with mom
45:49All right, my sweet little angels, let it go
45:51Your dad's got your mom on lockdown tonight
46:02Honey, thank you for giving me such a warm, happy home
46:05This place is everything I've ever dreamed of
46:11If you know, love it here
46:13We'll just put down roots
46:16Honestly, the only things worth a damn back at my palace are your gifts anyway
46:20I'll swing by and haul them over tomorrow
46:34I won't break my promise this time, I swear
46:37Three days tops
46:40And this little toy boat
46:41If you run into trouble
46:43Just crush it
46:44And I'll be there in a heartbeat
46:55And this barrier
46:56Unless you say so
46:57It'll bounce every single person trying to get in
47:03Stay safe out there, honey
47:07Dad, hurry back so we can play
47:24This is it
47:26Look at this place
47:27Hades better not be playing us
47:29He swore if we pull this off
47:31He'd bring our family's empire back from the dead
47:36Hell no, he wouldn't
47:37He's the god of the underworld
47:41The sea god basically nuked our family
47:43Lord Hades is our only lifeline
47:53Over here!
47:54Bet you can't catch us
47:56Chris, Sophia, slow down
47:58You're gonna eat dirt
47:59We don't care if we get hurt
48:01When dad gets back
48:03He can patch us up in seconds
48:08Yoo-ho!
48:09Jennifer!
48:10Come look who's here!
48:12Why the hell is the door locked?
48:15We're your flesh and blood
48:16Don't tell me you got amnesia already!
48:20Nice try, but that ain't happening!
48:25Son of a bitch
48:28Hades called it
48:29The sea god rigged this place with a force field
48:32Our only play is to guilt track Jennifer into opening the damn door
48:36Jennifer, I know you're listening
48:38Are you brain dead?
48:41We put a roof over your head when you had nothing
48:45Now we're homeless
48:46You owe us
48:55Cut the crap
48:56You made my life a living hell back then
48:58Don't act like you did me a favor
49:01Jennifer, I'm your own flesh and blood
49:04Are you just gonna watch me get hunted down every day?
49:08Your husband is the freaking sea god
49:11A few table grabs could save our family
49:14Yeah, Jennifer!
49:16Just bail us out this once!
49:18Consider it rent for housing you!
49:21We swear we'll never bother you again!
49:25Get a grip, Jennifer
49:27Stop giving them handouts
49:30But
49:31If a little cash gets rid of these leeches for good, maybe it's worth it
49:39You better keep your word
49:41Take the money and don't ever show your faces around here again
49:49Are you really that dense, Jennifer?
49:52I've literally never played it straight with you
50:05Jennifer, those goddamn merchants are psychos
50:08They robbed us blind, took your gold, and now they want us dead!
50:13Please, open the damn door!
50:15Jennifer, they only went psycho because you're the sea god's wife
50:19This is 100% on you!
50:21You can't leave us out here to get butchered!
50:27I'm dead serious, Jennifer
50:29The merchant and his goons are right on our ass
50:32If you don't let us in, you're signing our death warrants
50:35Jennifer, are you really gonna watch your father get slaughtered?
50:37Make your mother a widow?
50:38If word gets out she raised a heartless monster
50:41Society will destroy her
51:04How'd you score a pad like this anyway?
51:06Get off your ass and hand this house over to us
51:09We gave you a place to crash, now you owe us a house!
51:13Do I seriously have to cry for Poseidon to bail me out again?
51:17No, I can't keep dragging him into my messes
51:28Unreal! Look at this motherlod!
51:30Father could hustle his whole life and never see this kind of cash!
51:34Trash! Trash like Jennifer doesn't deserve this!
51:37We do!
51:42Check out this palace
51:43The bling is nice, but the real estate is the real jackpot
51:46We gotta get our names on that deed
51:48You brain-dead idiots!
51:50Did you forget Hades' orders?
51:51Move your asses!
51:53Chuck that bitch Jennifer out onto the street!
51:57Right! Lord Hades promised us a mountain of cash if we pull this off
52:01What the heck do you think you're doing?
52:03When dad finds out, he's gonna wipe the floor with you!
52:06Yeah!
52:07You stupid jerks!
52:09If you touch mom, dad is gonna destroy you!
52:13Give me a break!
52:15How's the sea god gonna react when he finds out his precious wife banged his own brother?
52:19He'll either boot her, or drown her ass!
52:24No!
52:26Father, why are you doing this to me?
52:28No!
52:29No!
52:39No!
52:41No!
52:41No!
52:42No!
52:44No!
52:44No!
52:45No!
52:46No!
52:47No!
52:47We're gonna reward you freaks very handsome!
52:52You're the best Lord Hades!
52:54Thank you!
52:56Get your hands off her!
53:05Get your hands off her!
53:21I gave you your chance, Hades
53:29Jennifer, you were in real danger
53:31Why didn't you call me?
53:34Honey, I'm so sorry
53:36I just didn't want to dump another mess on your plate
53:38I'm just a useless mortal
53:39I can't keep dragging you down
53:43Look at me, babe, we're married
53:46Nothing in this universe matters more than you
53:49I already missed nine years
53:55Come hell or high water, you're never facing anything alone again
54:02I get it, honey, I promise
54:12And as for these psychos
54:15They've crossed the line too many times
54:18Even if you want to give them a pass
54:20I'm going to slaughter every last one of them
54:29Almighty Sea God, please
54:31You've got it all wrong
54:32We only broke in because we caught Jennifer, that absolute slut
54:36Hooking up with another guy
54:38We were protecting your honor
54:40Exactly
54:41If we hadn't showed up, she'd be all over some other dude
54:45Honestly, you should be thanking us
54:47You're all sick in the head
54:49I'm going to wipe you off the face of the earth
54:51Oh no
55:01I'm going to lindo
55:06I'm going to get back in Iraq
55:09I'm going to learn
55:11I'm going toimmel
55:31Poseidon you gullible idiot. I pushed your buttons and you practically hand-delivered
55:37your own divine weapon to me. Did you skip Godhub 101? If a bonded weapon gets corrupted
55:41by a god on my level, the backlash tears the owner apart. Look, brother, I don't want
55:51to end you. Just hand over your sweet little wife and I'll let you walk. Come on, Jennifer.
56:02Doesn't it tear you apart watching him squirm like a bug?
56:07Poseidon, please, get up. Jennifer, get over here. Give yourself to me and I'll pull the
56:13plug on his torture. Don't listen to him, Jennifer. Get over here, Jennifer, or I swear I'm going
56:22to erase Poseidon from existence right now. Don't. Jennifer, listen to me. If you don't
56:31want to watch his brain melt into pudding, get over here right now. Please, just stop hurting
56:38Poseidon. I'll do it. I agree to whatever you want. Poseidon, please take good care of our
56:50kids and my mother.
57:08You lay a finger on my woman, Hades, and I will show you exactly what a blood debt looks like.
57:15P
57:15you
57:17Oh, oh, oh, oh.
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