- 22 minutes ago
Bought by the Lone Huntsman
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Short filmTranscript
00:04before father left to join the army he made a promise if i die on the battlefield you can find
00:13another man to marry like the hunter on the edge of the village but that huntsman vance had a
00:18crippled leg and a scar that split his face in two one punch they said could drop a full-grown
00:24tiger they also said he'd already beaten his first wife to death
00:29marrying mama to him was the same as sending her to die three years later word came that father
00:36was dead grandma and the village elders collected 20 silver coins from vance they sold mama off the
00:43news arrived on the day mama was washing clothes by the river deep winter the water was thick with
00:49floating ice cold enough to cut bone grandma wouldn't allow her to use hot water she said
00:55firewood was precious not for a worthless brat who couldn't reduce suns i'd haul extra firewood down
01:04from the mountain but it always went straight to uncle dale's fire pit if mama or i used so much
01:11as one extra stick grandma beat us and cursed us for three days straight i tried to help with the
01:19washing mama waved me off the river's cold little one go play over there where the sun hits it's warmer
01:26in the dead of winter midday sun was the only warmth we ever had when the laundry was done when
01:33we walked
01:33home grandma and the village elders were already waiting they'd been in such a rush but not enough to
01:40walk down to the river and find us you take this long wandering off who knows where worthless brat
01:47roy's barely gone and already your heart's drifting
01:55the soldiers sent word roy's dead you killed him every bit of bad luck he had started when he married
02:01you he's gone now so hurry up and remarry don't stay here dragging our family down the bundle was small
02:07two of mama's worn out dresses grandma didn't look like she was grieving her own son she looked the
02:13same as always like someone had told me the village dog had died mama said nothing she just held my
02:19hand
02:20tighter grandma can i bring my daughter with me mama wasn't crying much she was only worried about me
02:29see if the huntsman's willing to pay for her a girl this size sell her to a broker and you'd
02:37get ten silver easy
02:38mama's grip went tighter around my hand we both knew the moment she left grandma would sell me
02:45she wouldn't keep me a single day longer than she had to
02:50mama shouldered her bundle and held my hand grandma and the village elders herded us to vance's house
02:55he was inside sharpening a blade the scraping sound never stopped his bad leg jutted stiffly to one side
03:02it couldn't bend a scar ran from below his left eye all the way to the right corner of his
03:07mouth
03:07like something had tried to split his face in half i stepped behind mama vance looked us over
03:14you people forced this woman on me 20 silver is already too much don't push it further he clearly
03:22hadn't wanted to take mama let alone me dead weight she dragged along my roy saved your life once now
03:28he's
03:29dead and we're delivering this woman straight to your door you should be on your knees thanking us
03:33she wants to bring the girl along as your daughter you get a wife and a child all at once
03:38i'm not asking
03:39for much another 10 silver and we're done most families earned two or three silver in a year 10
03:45silver could buy a full acre of good farmland i was not worth that much
03:52people in the village said he was a silent man but when he opened his eyes and looked at you
03:57really looked it could stop your heart cold grandma shoved mama hard mama's thin frame nearly
04:04went down mr heart my daughter eats very little she can work please could you give us somewhere to go
04:12vance finally looked at me a long unreadable frown mama tugged at my hand i dropped to my knees beside
04:19her
04:21call him something i stared up at vance at the scar my lips shook papa vance went still the scar
04:30looked even more ferocious when his face froze like that grandma's foot complete with my back
04:36your real father's barely cold and you're already calling some stranger papa worthless brat just like
04:43your harlot mother heart already belongs to someone else she kept kicking i lay flat and didn't move
04:50didn't make a sound that was how it worked stay still let her finish and she'd stop mama tried to
04:57crawl to me one of the village elders kicked her back it was always like this in roy's household
05:02mama couldn't save me she couldn't save her side enough vance stood he went inside he came back and
05:11threw 10 silver coins onto the ground this girl is my child now i looked up at vance mama hadn't
05:20caught what he said i had grandma grabbed the silver and turned to leave vance blocked her he demanded a
05:27written contract grandma refused vance snatched the silver right back no contract no silver in the end
05:36with the village elders and the village head as witnesses the contract was signed both mama and i
05:42became part of vance's household mama put down her bundle and started working immediately if she stayed
05:49busy enough maybe vance would let me eat more maybe he wouldn't hit me vance's house was plain three main
05:56rooms a hall in the center a bedroom on each side only one bedroom had a bed the other was
06:02empty mama led me to
06:04the woodshed the firewood was stacked clean the floor was tidy mama shifted some wood and found a
06:10board she built me a rough bed out of it don't be afraid little one mama i'm not afraid at
06:24roy's house
06:24it had always been the same when father was home he'd say i was in the way always getting between
06:30him and
06:31mama when they were trying for a son he'd chase me to the woodshed roy's woodshed was filthier than
06:36this rats snakes frozen solid in winter a furnace in summer i'd survived all of it mama held me against
06:45her chest maybe once i give him a son things will ease up i said nothing i'd long suspected father's
06:52cruelty toward mama had nothing to do with sons mama why did father want you to remarry vance before
07:00he left father had kept mama on a tight leash wouldn't let her leave the village wouldn't let her look
07:07up
07:07when she passed a man grandma would curse her for it too said she was out there tempting people mama's
07:14bitter laugh stayed locked in her throat because vance was the only one who could pay that much
07:23she didn't finish she didn't need to father had sent mama here to die
07:30father had been planning to sell mama even before he left he knew he wasn't coming back he made sure
07:36mama would have nowhere left to go i'd worked this out some time ago not because i was clever they'd
07:42been
07:42obvious about it the whole village talked not long after we arrived vance came back carrying armfuls of
07:49thick wooden boards he disappeared into the empty west bedroom steady hammering rang out one blow after
07:56another mama stood outside the door she wanted to ask where the food stores were so she could start
08:01dinner but she didn't dare after a while vance came back out he saw us both still standing there he
08:08frowned
08:09something you need his voice was rough i flinched and nearly stepped back but we were alone here mama
08:16and me if i stepped back she'd be standing by herself i held my ground i took mama's hand and
08:23stood beside
08:23her vance noticed something shifted in his brow mama asked carefully i i want to ask it's nearly dinner
08:31time if you get the grain out i can cook you've worked hard all day you should eat vance frowned
08:38harder he looked us up and down like we'd said something strange then he pointed at the kitchen
08:43in there
08:47the key vance's frown deepened he walked over and kicked the kitchen door open he looked back at us
08:56i had the feeling he was asking with his eyes whether we were simple no lock no key roy's kitchen
09:03was always locked the grain the oil the salt the eggs everything in locked cabinets grandma would
09:09measure out exactly what was needed for each meal set it on the counter then stand there watching mama
09:15cook drop a single grain of rice get a lecture that lasted half a day she called us starving ghosts
09:21said
09:22we never worked only ate she was afraid we'd steal food mama and i stepped into the kitchen grain oil
09:29salt all of it just sitting out in the open mama stood there for a long moment she glanced toward
09:35vance
09:36he'd already gone back out she was almost afraid to touch anything she was afraid she'd cook it wrong
09:42and he'd come back angry beat her like grandma she was afraid of being accused of stealing
09:49eventually mama cooked the food sat on the table the two of us stood in the courtyard
09:55neither of us moved toward it vance came back carrying two large wicker baskets he saw the food
10:01on the table he saw us standing there his frown deepened he washed his hands sat down saw us still
10:07standing he told us roughly to sit he scooped himself less than half a bowl of rice
10:13not enough food cook more tomorrow he ate fast loud and efficient finished in minutes but barely
10:22ate half of what was there done he sat sharpening his wood cutting knife watching us eat mama hesitantly
10:28filled my bowl we ate both keeping our eyes on him i noticed it quickly when i ate fast he
10:34looked
10:34away when i slowed down and tried to set my chopsticks down he frowned he was telling me to keep
10:40eating
10:40mama and i finished every last bite then we sat waiting to be scolded or hit vance put the knife
10:47down wash up and get some sleep you've worked enough today mama hurried to heat the water she waited
10:56for vance to finish washing then after a moment washed her own face and hands and feet it's the first
11:03day
11:05if i'm clean he'll find less to resent she muttered it while she scrubbed eyes dim i used her leftover
11:11warm water the heat spread up through my hands and feet all at once so this was what it felt
11:17like to
11:17wash with hot water no wonder grandma and uncle dale always demanded extra buckets in winter i went to the
11:24woodshed for the night mama stopped me at the door cover your ears no matter what you hear tonight
11:31don't come out pretend you heard nothing you understand i nodded hard i knew once when father
11:38was hurting mama i'd run in crying and begged him to stop he'd kicked me so hard i ached for
11:44half a year
11:45this time i wouldn't make a sound we both had to survive stay alive and there was still hope even
11:51if
11:51i didn't yet know what that hope looked like then the woodshed door was kicked open vance stood in the
11:59doorway holding a lantern staring at me where i lay in the straw i shrank back cold sweat poured
12:05down my neck once father had come home half drunk in the middle of the night and walked into the
12:11woodshed he beat me nearly to death he said i was a burden my fault he had no son my
12:16fault he lost money
12:17gambling that night mama grabbed the wood cutting knife and told him she'd take his life that was the
12:23only thing that saved me vance was stronger could he put me down in three kicks but he wasn't drunk
12:30he wasn't angry he reached down and grabbed me under the arms like he was picking up a stray chick
12:36he carried me into the west bedroom mama was already standing there quietly the empty room wasn't empty
12:42anymore a wide wooden bed stood against the wall worn but tidy vance set me down he turned and walked
12:49back to his own east bedroom the door closed within minutes his snoring came through the wall mama and i
12:55stared at each other that night we slept restlessly but we slept warm i burrowed into the quilt and said
13:04quietly mama it's so warm i had never been this warm in winter not once and i'd eaten dinner my
13:11stomach
13:11was full this i thought was what being alive was actually supposed to feel like mama stroked my hair
13:17little one you called him papa today do it again tomorrow keep calling him that okay vance was
13:27already a better father than roy had ever been the meals got bigger after that and slowly mama didn't
13:33dare increase the amount all at once she added a little each day until she finally understood his
13:38appetite he ate a great deal roughly as much as mama and i put together but he never once stopped
13:44us from
13:45eating if we ate too little he'd frown he hunted large catches he sold sometimes he'd bring back a
13:51rabbit or a wild chicken and he'd have mama stew it he ate half the rest went to us i
13:58had eaten meat
13:59three times in my life before that this was the fourth it was so good no wonder grandma and uncle
14:05dale
14:05had always been so desperate for it mama saved the extra pieces for me i ate without thinking too happy
14:11to
14:11pace myself that night i woke in the dark with my stomach seizing up and cramps i rolled across the
14:18bed in pain mama rubbed my belly it didn't help she ran outside and scraped ash from the bottom of
14:24the
14:24cooking pot stirred it into water and brought it to me i took one sip and vomited everything up
14:32vance burst through the door one look at me he wrapped me in the quilt hoisted me onto his shoulder
14:37and ran
14:37on mama stumbled after him she didn't say a word he ran all the way to the village doctor's house
14:42at
14:43the edge of the road and kicked the door in the whole household lurched awake they started to complain
14:47then they saw his face and went quiet the doctor checked my pulse then asked what i'd been eating
14:53what did she eat over aid indigestion nell's been underfed all her life eat this much meat at once and
14:59her stomach can't manage it she'll be fine i'll give her something to bring it up keep her warm light
15:05food for a few days she'll recover she gave me something i vomited loudly and at length the smell
15:11filled the whole room the doctor's husband muttered from the corner never had good food her whole life
15:16body can't handle it when she finally does vance looked at him one hard stare he retreated to the
15:22back room i was humiliated getting sick from eating too much meat just like grandma had always said
15:29i was a bottomless pit with no sense vance carried me home over his shoulder on the way back he
15:37said
15:37gruffly you've really never had meat before i thought he was scolding me this was only the fourth time
15:45before we only ever got a piece or two grandma had never let us have even the broth he made
15:52a low sound
15:53eat more often enough and this stops happening i was wrapped too tight in the quilt and didn't quite
15:59catch it the next few days i could only drink porridge vance brought back millet he brought back brown sugar
16:07millet and brown sugar were things only new mothers got after childbirth a bowl or two a little sweetness
16:13stirred in i was getting a full bowl at every single meal i was eating better than mama had after
16:20giving
16:20birth to me vance watched me eat every morning until the color came back to my face when it did
16:27something in his own expression finally loosened he fixed the village doctor's front gate as payment for
16:34the house call then he pulled the doctor back to check my pulse again only when she said i was
16:40fully
16:41recovered did he walk her out he said he was going up the mountain to track a big animal might
16:46be gone
16:46several days he told mama to bake a stack of flatbreads for the road mama kneaded the dough with lard
16:52and
16:53mixed in brown sugar the flatbreads came out golden and fragrant she pressed into his hands the thick
16:59insoles and padded cap she'd sewn over the past few days vance took the flatbreads he looked at the insoles
17:05and the cap he looked up at mama something in his eyes went soft new year's coming when i sell
17:11what i
17:11catch will go buy supplies think about what you want mama held my hand as we stood at the door
17:17to see
17:17him off his figure moved away from us uneven but steady i couldn't help shouting after him
17:24papa come home soon vance stopped he didn't look back he lifted a hand in our direction go inside
17:32it's cold we waited five days he didn't come back the cold deepened on the fifth day snow
17:41began to fall mama watched the sky go dark she looked at me she pointed to the food stores and
17:47told me to mind myself cook my own meals if i got hungry mama's going to find him i'll be
17:53back soon
17:55take care of yourself she changed her clothes and strapped the wood cutting knife to her body
18:00she found the oil lamp i tucked a small sickle under my clothes and followed her out wherever you go
18:07i go we'll bring papa home together vance was my papa now he was a better papa than roy had
18:14ever been
18:14i was never going to have a different mama let out a long breath if something goes wrong out there
18:20you standing alone in this house isn't any safer all right together we held hands and went up the
18:28mountain we'd only ever been to the edges gathering firewood we almost never went deeper in wolves in
18:34wild boars tigers though with mama beside me and the thought of papa waiting somewhere in that cold i
18:41wasn't afraid the snow came down harder it was barely past midday but the sky had gone dark moving
18:49through the forest was difficult every step was uncertain you'd break through a soft patch and sink
18:55to the knee mama pulled me out each time and prodded the ground ahead with a stick we hadn't gone
19:00far
19:00when we heard heavy footsteps in the trees mama raised the wood cutting knife i raised the sickle we
19:06stared into the dark ahead both terrified if we were going to die out here at least we'd die together
19:11the footsteps came closer a large figure emerged from between the trees a tall man with a stiff
19:17lopsided gate dragging something massive behind him a tiger we stared he stared back i let go of
19:25mama's hand and ran i threw my arms around his leg and looked up the tiger dropped from his grip
19:32and hit
19:33the snow he looked down at me then up at mama what are the two of you doing up here
19:37he reached down and
19:39grabbed me under the arms trying to lift me his hands had nothing left he couldn't manage it i held
19:45onto his leg
19:46he came to find you i've been gone five days the snow started i was afraid
19:54the last time she'd gone out searching for a man who hadn't come home she'd told roy she was worried
19:59he'd been hurt he'd slapped her across the face said she was cursing him said her worrying was the reason
20:05all his bad luck found him after that she stopped saying she worried about roy she stopped worrying about
20:10roy at all vance looked at her the corner of his mouth moved he wanted to smile years of not
20:17smiling
20:17seemed to have made him forget how but he explained this one was big it took longer than i thought
20:23get the fire going start dinner a tiger that size he must have been dragging it for hours he was
20:31running on
20:31empty but he didn't ask for help he would get it home himself mama stood watching him torn she didn't
20:37dare disobey but she wanted to help i ran forward and grabbed one of the tiger's hind legs papa we'll
20:46all go back together i wasn't very strong and touching that leg even a dead leg sent a chill through
20:53me that had nothing to do with the snow the tiger was enormous dead as it was it still looked
20:59vicious
20:59mama hesitated then she stepped up together vance's mouth twitched he agreed
21:09the three of us dragged the tiger back home by the time we reached the village the snow lay thick
21:15on the ground the whole village was dark the lanes empty we made it inside at last the tiger lay
21:22in
21:22the yard half buried in white still looking dangerous i wasn't afraid of it anymore i circled
21:28it a few times just to prove it then ran back and pressed myself against papa's leg papa's so strong
21:35he killed a tiger all by himself vance was too exhausted to move but he reached down and rested
21:42his hand on top of my head his hand was huge and rough and heavy but when it rested on
21:49my head
21:49it was light it was warm roy had large hands too they'd never been rough he rarely did anything that
21:57required effort he wasn't very strong either every time he'd pick to fight and come out worse he'd
22:03curled up on the ground and hadn't even tried to fight back but when he hit mama and me he
22:09hit hard
22:09in this village most men were like that hands that fell hard on their wives and children i had always
22:16thought all fathers were the same turns out some of them were different the next morning before dawn
22:24vance fetched an ox cart he woke us up and we rode into town together to sell the tiger in
22:31the county
22:31seat he went straight to a large estate he clearly knew well he called someone out fletcher fletcher came
22:37to the door his face lit up when he saw vance the two men grabbed each other by the shoulders
22:42talking
22:43like old friends so papa could be like this animated warm full of words mama and i hung back
22:50staring at the tall heavy doors the high threshold the stone lions flanking the gate we didn't dare
22:57step forward vance looked back at us and said something to fletcher fletcher studied us then
23:02reached into his coat and pulled out a small cloth pouch here child take it i didn't dare he pressed
23:09it into my hands papa nodded i took it thank you uncle fletcher inside the pouch was a small piece
23:20of silver i walked it over to papa papa and tucked it into his hands for you fletcher blinked then
23:26he
23:26laughed loud and warm well old vance you've got yourself a devoted little girl you're a lucky man
23:33that one's for your papa this one's yours keep it fletcher bought the tiger and invited vance to
23:40stay for drinks vance shook his head nothing at home need to stock up for new year next time then
23:46and you'd better actually show up the tiger had sold for a good sum vance walked us through the market
23:54first a wonton stall for breakfast a big bowl each thin wrappers fat filling floating in rich broth that
24:01steamed in the cold air mama was afraid to eat but vance had already paid wasting it was worse
24:06she tried to give me her bowl vance stopped her children who overeat end up with stomach
24:11aches mama thought of my illness immediately she stopped after the wontons her face had some color
24:17in it vance took us to buy pork grain flour oil dried spices for cooking then to the cloth shop
24:25new
24:25quilts and padded coats mama waved her hands the ones we have are perfectly fine i said the same
24:32when we'd first arrived the quilts and padded clothes vance gave us had been second hand but
24:37they were clean and warm that was already more than i'd ever had before i had no silver i bought
24:45used
24:46now i have silver we buy new in the end they didn't buy ready-made they bought fabric and cotton
24:52batting mama still didn't want to spend too freely i can sew my hands are fast done before new year
24:59i
24:59promise she found a length of dark blue cloth and held it up beside vance this one suits you
25:05it was the closest they'd ever stood i was almost sure i saw vance's face go red
25:13his face went red and he looked happier he lifted me up and set me on his shoulders so i
25:18could see all
25:18the way down the market road i laughed so hard i could barely breathe it was the highest i'd ever
25:23been i could see everything mama walked carefully beside us glancing again and again at his leg
25:30afraid he'd tire himself out further along vance bought sesame candy and sugar figurines
25:37he bought hair ribbons and flowers for mama and me both the stall woman smiled at them your wife and
25:43daughter are lovely these flowers suit them perfectly city made you know vance and mama both went red at
25:49exactly the same moment on the way home i sat in the ox cart holding my sugar figurine and refused
25:55to eat
25:55it it was a general in full armor fierce looking just like papa we passed roy's old house on the
26:02road
26:02through the village grandma was in the yard washing clothes in hot water so she'd always known about hot
26:08water uncle dale sat slumped under the eaves doing nothing they'd sold mom and me for 30 silver dale
26:14still hadn't found himself a wife with that money he just sat around and called it waiting for a good
26:20match grandma looked up uncle dale looked up they stared at us slack-jawed then their faces turned ugly
26:29worthless brat harrel it the curse had barely left grandma's mouth when a rock hit uncle dale square
26:37on the head who threw vance threw a second rock it landed straight in grandma's washtub and sent water
26:43splashing in all directions these are my wife and daughter open your mouths against them again and
26:48you've got me to answer to he stood at the gate in the fading light even with the bad leg
26:52he was a wall
26:53grandma and uncle dale bullies who ran at the first sign of real resistance went completely silent mama's
27:00hand found mine her eyes had gone red we rode on when i looked back i could still see the
27:06venom in
27:06their faces then i found my nerve i raised my sugar figurine at them and made the ugliest face i
27:13could
27:13manage i had a real papa now they couldn't touch us anymore i lost my sugar figurine and my new
27:22hair ribbon
27:23i was too ashamed to go home i hovered near our gate going back and forth not able to make
27:30myself
27:30walk in papa came down from the mountain he saw me coat torn face bleeding covered in mud he dropped
27:39his firewood dropped the wild chickens he'd been carrying who did this i'd never seen him this frightened
27:46it scared me more than the beating i started shaking i'm sorry i'm sorry he crouched down
27:53he wiped the mud off my face with his rough hands his hands weren't steady tell papa who did it
28:01his voice steadied me i told him everything halting stumbling over the words with every sentence his
28:08expression darkened he took me inside and handed me to mama then he picked up his walking stick and
28:13walked back out mama grabbed his arm she shook her head papa thought about it he picked up the thick
28:20wooden post that braced the door shut that afternoon the fathers of every boy who'd hit me got beaten i
28:26won't hit a child i'll hit you one more incident and i'll break your legs
28:33every one of them was a grown able-bodied man papa had one good leg he chased them through the
28:40village
28:40anyway one methodical blow at a time then papa went to roy's old house and beat uncle dale in front
28:47of the
28:47whole street you people forced ivy and this girl on me i painted the silver i signed the contract
28:52they're mine if i hear any more talk from your side of the village dale should stop walking alone
28:56after dark uncle dale howled and promised over and over that it would never happen again anyone with
29:03something to say say it to me directly not one person stepped forward several hurried to point out
29:10that grandma's family had always treated ivy and me badly it's true ivy and little nell are well off
29:17with you old vanch you know how to take care of people those two are lucky they ended up with
29:21you
29:21papa walked home carrying the door post he stopped in front of me and rested his hand on my head
29:26he held
29:28my hand and walked me inside in the lane he said quietly who gave you that name anyway nell it
29:35was
29:35grandma's choice half the girls in the village had names like it nell for invite a brother hope for
29:41wish for a son bless for pray he comes papa didn't like it how about clara from now on bright
29:48as the
29:48sun and moon that's what clara means a name for someone with a future ahead of her
29:54i was six years old and had my first real name clara clara heart
30:00a heart a heart now i told mama grinning she laughed through red eyes pressing the tears back
30:06papa said it twice softly to himself clara heart clara heart that night mama finished sewing the
30:13new quilts she came to me with them folded in her arms clara you're a big girl now time to
30:21sleep in
30:21your own room all right her own room if i moved out where would mama sleep i thought about it
30:27for one
30:27second yes mama you and papa should hurry up and have a little brother or sister for me
30:33i'll take care of them i meant it a little brother or sister who had papa they'd be wonderful i
30:39already
30:40wanted to meet them the next morning papa woke me at dawn clara yesterday was papa impressive very
30:46impressive you can't rely on me your whole life you need to protect yourself do you want to be as
30:51strong
30:51as papa yes i wanted to be strong enough to protect papa and mama the future little ones to hunt
30:59on the mountain and earn enough silver to take care of all of them papa was pleased he pointed at
31:04the
31:04yard run 50 laps to start 50 laps by the end i could barely stand he didn't let me stop
31:12mama watched
31:13with pained eyes she said nothing after running came stances and lifting the stone block papa had
31:20brought back from the mountain it was just heavy enough that i could manage it on a good day by
31:25evening my hands and feet were covered in blisters train hard your papa means it for your good i know
31:32mama i understood what papa's care looked like that night mama carried her new quilt into papa's bedroom
31:39they talked quietly for a while the lamp went out the night was noisy for a bit i slept soundly
31:45in my
31:46new quilts anyway the next day papa woke up late i'd already run 30 laps around the yard by the
31:52time he
31:52appeared at the door all day he and mama kept catching each other's eyes and looking away fast both of
31:58them
31:59red-faced both of them smiling at nothing if you want to look just look why the sneaking adults were
32:06very
32:09strange after new year papa bought several acres of good farmland with the tiger money he farmed in the
32:16busy seasons and hunted in the quiet ones he teaching me how to track animals how to read droppings and
32:22prints which sounds meant danger taught me the knife and the bow how to put a person down using as
32:28little
32:28force as possible my strength was still limited progress was slow the village gossiped most of it came
32:35from roy's old household that cripple got a wife and a daughter handed to him for nothing doesn't
32:41matter how smug ivy acts she still ended up with a cripple roy was twice as handsome roy had been
32:47handsome much good it had done anyone he couldn't carry a load or plant a field he was a farmer
32:53who
32:53refused to farm his greatest skill was hitting the people who lived in his house i glanced at papa's leg
33:01he noticed he adjusted his gait and walked more carefully than before mama caught me looking she
33:08smacked the back of my head the moment we were alone your papa has been nothing but good to us
33:12clara don't you dare look at him the way this village does don't you dare mama i want to study
33:18medicine if i'm good enough someday maybe i can fix papa's leg i didn't care about the limp i didn't
33:24care about the scar i just didn't want him to hurt on rainy days i didn't want him working through
33:29the
33:29pain and never saying a word about it mama's expression shifted she worried female apprentices
33:35were hard to place most healers wouldn't take them but papa had been standing just outside the door
33:40he went quiet for two days then he took me back into town to fletcher at the large estate fletcher
33:47looked me over for a long moment medicine is hard work clara an apprentice life is harder can you take
33:53it
33:53i can and when i've learned enough i'll fix papa's leg then i'll earn enough silver to take care of
33:58all of them papa and mama and my little brothers and sisters brothers and sisters is there news already
34:04papa went scarlet and said it was far too early for that far too early
34:10i moved into the county seat and began my apprenticeship at the clinic
34:14i only asked to bring one thing from home my stone lifting block for training
34:19mama couldn't make herself leave she stood at the clinic door and wouldn't move i waved her off
34:26mama come back when i've made something of myself she laughed despite herself all right mama's waiting
34:34the clinic's doctor was warm and patient with patience with her apprentices she was merciless
34:41too slow to learn she scolded you made an error she scolded you sometimes she hit some of the
34:48younger apprentices cried and went home within weeks i wasn't troubled by any of it she only ever
34:54struck the padded parts of the body the force was calibrated sharp on impact no lasting harm compared
35:00to roy's household this was nothing and when the doctor scolded us i recognized that look it wasn't
35:06hatred it was impatience born from caring she also made sure we ate every meal every day without
35:13exception she never once stinted on food or clothing i could tell the difference between people who meant
35:20you harm and people who were hard on you for a reason i kept lifting my stone block i kept
35:27practicing the
35:27fighting forms papa had taught me my grip got stronger when i started learning massage and manipulation
35:33from the doctor i was already ahead of the others i could feel exactly where the tension sat under the
35:39skin
35:39i worked on her shoulders when she'd had a long day she started looking less grim every two weeks i
35:46went home first thing papa's bad leg he refused at first twisted around in his seat like i'd suggested
35:52something embarrassing a few minutes in his eyes went red when he stood up afterward he walked without
35:58catching himself on the doorframe clara's gotten good learning fast mama asked me to teach her when you're
36:05here in the city i can work on it for him he pushes himself too hard i walk them both
36:09through it side by side
36:11when i'm not here you can do it for each other they both turned red at exactly the same time
36:16adults truly inexplicable
36:39so
36:46so
36:47so
36:49so
36:51so
40:46Nothing to do with us.
42:29looked at me. And you, Nell, I can find you a good match when the time comes. Nice-looking girl
42:35like
42:35you, the high families would want you. Go in as a kept woman to a wealthy house, you'd live better
42:40than you ever dreamed. I had not expected this. The first time Roy had ever truly looked at me,
42:48and it was to plan out my future as a kept woman in someone else's household.
42:52What kind of creature says something like that? Papa didn't let him finish the sentence. He picked
42:57up his stick and swung. Over my dead body, get out of this house. Anyone who touches my Claire,
43:04you'll spend the rest of your life dreaming about it. He drove Roy out the door with blow after blow.
43:10Roy staggered, but didn't dare shout. He muttered through the pain as he went. Think about it.
43:17This is a clean deal for everyone. Vance, you're not capable of giving her a child. I'm the one doing
43:22you- Papa hit him harder. Mama came running out of the house. She put her head down and drove
43:27herself
43:27into Roy like a battering ram, then pinned him to the ground and beat him with both fists.
43:34I am Vance's wife. I am a heart. Don't you ever come near me again. Don't you come near my
43:39daughter.
43:42This was the second time in Mama's life that she had fought back against Roy. This time,
43:47she fought for herself and for me, both. Papa stood back and let her go. When Roy tried to raise
43:54his
43:55hands against her, Papa brought the stick down and that was the end of that. When Mama finally tired
44:01herself out, Papa pulled her up off the ground and held her against his chest. He didn't say anything.
44:07He just patted her back while she pressed her face into his shoulder and cried. Roy ran. He called over
44:13his shoulder. You will regret this. That night, Mama cried for a long time. Every bit of bitterness and
44:22rage she'd stored for years, cried out at once. Papa and I stayed beside her until she cried herself
44:27out like a child and fell asleep mid-sob. Papa rested his hand on my head.
44:33Don't ever let anyone make you a kept woman. Those wealthy households, the life inside them isn't what
44:40it looks like from outside. I nodded hard. I was nothing like Roy. I would never end up like Roy.
44:49I went back to the clinic. Three days later, on a run for supplies, someone grabbed me off the road.
44:59When the sack came off my head, I was sitting in a clean room and Roy and a beautiful young
45:04woman
45:04were watching me from tall backed chairs. The seer foretold it plainly. A girl destined to pave the way
45:09for a son. Nurture her for a time and our heir will follow. You need lift no finger wind. Simply
45:14see she
45:14is fared and safe. When our son is born, we shall arrange a fine match for her and let her
45:17go with
45:18honor. She is your daughter after all. We couldn't just throw her out later. A proper match, a good
45:24marriage, that's only right. I glared at both of them over the cloth stuffed in my mouth. Absolute
45:30lunatics. Neither of you has any say over my marriage. Roy came to check on me that night. He pressed
45:37my hand against a paper, a document threatening Papa and Mama. He pressed my fingers into the ink and
45:43stamped it. You think I keep you out of kindness? I don't. You're only useful while you're with me.
45:48Once Winifred brings me my heir, you will have no place here. Then you may return to your father.
45:53They un-gagged me. I spat directly in his face.
45:58You filth! He wanted to use me as a hostage. Worthless. Just like your mother.
46:04My cheek burned. How do you know it's Winifred who can't conceive? Maybe it's you.
46:08The doctor had told me. Fertility was complicated. It was rarely one person's fault alone. When Roy
46:15and Winifred had come to the clinic, the doctor had asked to examine Roy as well. Roy had refused.
46:21Said he'd had a child before, so there was nothing to check. After they left, the doctor watched them
46:27go. Then remarked dryly, having born a child once doesn't mean the same holds true now. Remarkable
46:34ignorance. No wonder they can't conceive. I'd heard it. I knew. Roy deserved exactly the fate that was
46:40coming for him. Roy hit me again. Freely, making no effort to muffle the sounds. Cruelty toward me
46:51reassured Winifred. It proved he felt nothing for his former household. She watched and felt secure.
46:59They traveled for three days. They barely fed me. On the third day, I heard hoofbeats behind the
47:06carriage. Then Papa's voice outside. Roy shouted something about delusions of grandeur. He sent his
47:13men forward. The sounds of fighting were brief. Then Roy's voice, begging. Papa pulled me out of the
47:20carriage. I was barely conscious. He took one look at me and went back for Roy. Winifred screamed from
47:25the roadside. Do you know who I am? I will destroy you for this, you peasant master! Papa turned and
47:33looked at her. You've been sheltering a deserter. Think carefully about whether the magistrate will
47:39destroy me or you. Winifred's face drained. She looked at Roy, truly seeing him for the first time.
47:47She'd assumed she'd found herself an obedient, grateful husband. She hadn't thought to look deeper.
47:53I managed to laugh despite the pain. Roy planned to wait until you died naturally.
47:58Then he and his son inherit everything. You've been protecting him with your own money the whole time.
48:07The magistrate's men arrived. They took Roy away. Fletcher, who had written out with word of what had
48:13happened, came up behind them. He saw that Papa and I were both upright and let out a shaking breath.
48:19Ants, you nearly gave me a decade off my life. Papa nodded without speaking. Later, Fletcher told me
48:27privately, Papa had received word and ridden without stopping three days straight. A healthy man on horseback
48:35would have been destroyed by that care. Papa did it with an old breadwinner.
48:42Roy was jailed. His entire family, Grandma Briggs, Uncle Dale, all of them, was taken in as well.
48:50They'd known all along that Roy was alive. They'd been receiving letters and silver from him for years.
48:55That was where the money had come from. All those years of doing nothing, never going without.
49:00When they were marched out, they called it all a misunderstanding. Then they turned on Roy and blamed
49:07him for ruining them. Roy shouted back that they'd been happy enough to take the silver.
49:13They went at each other in the street, a family of dogs fighting over scraps. Winifred's household
49:19was implicated too. Harboring a deserter carried its own sentence. Her family name did not protect her.
49:25I didn't have time to follow any of it closely. I was busy. Papa had pushed for three days without
49:32rest. His leg had given out by the time he reached me. The old injury cleared, deep and acute. I
49:38brought
49:39him to the clinic and took over his care myself. Every day, needles, massage, compresses, medicine.
49:46The doctor stood at my shoulder and guided me, offering corrections in a low voice.
49:52Papa lay on the treatment bed. Every time the doctor praised my work, Papa smiled even though
49:59the pain had eased. That's our Clara. Look at her go.
50:04Papa's leg recovered over the course of a month. He went home, walking steadily beside Mama.
50:11Six months later, Roy was sentenced. When they brought him out for execution, he was already
50:16barely alive. He'd had three days with me in that carriage, without knowing about the faint,
50:22unusual smell clinging to my clothes. I had given him poison. Slow and accumulating. It had done its
50:30work in the cell. He'd wasted away over months, unable to sleep, waking each night from violent dreams.
50:37He had been the nightmare of Mama's life and mine. Now he could have a few nightmares of his own.
50:43He was dead before the blade fell. After, some villagers said I ought to collect the body and
50:48observe mourning. He was my blood father. Papa produced the contract.
50:53Clara is my daughter, a heart. I'm still alive. Who's asking my child to mourn for someone else?
51:00He looked around at the gathered faces.
51:02Roy was a deserter. Anyone standing up for him right now? Are you connected to him somehow?
51:11Should I be asking questions?
51:13Every voice went quiet. No one admitted any connection. By now, Papa walked almost normally.
51:19My hands had given that back to him, and Mama was finally pregnant. The doctor said her old wounds
51:25had been rooted in grief and a locked-up heart. When the heart finally opened, when Roy was gone,
51:30truly gone, and she'd seen it with her own eyes, her body had followed. I suspected what truly unlocked it.
51:37The day Mama knocked Roy to the ground and he'd seen her bare hands. The day she watched
51:43them drag what was left of him, the worry. Nine months later, Mama had a boy. He looked
51:49exactly like Papa. Round-faced, fierce-eyed, more trouble than he was worth, and deeply, effortlessly,
51:56lovely.
51:58Papa treated all four of us children equally. We all learned to read. We all trained. He taught
52:04us to stand on our own, but the little ones always said Papa had a favorite.
52:09Every time you come home, Papa gets happy in a different way. He's biased. Obviously
52:14biased towards you. Not that I mind. You and Mama are both wonderful.
52:18Many years later, when Papa and Mama had both grown old, Mama asked him something she'd apparently
52:24wondered about for a long time. When we first came to you, what made you willing to spend
52:30thirty silver on us? Thirty silver. A significant sum. Even with savings put away, it would have cost
52:37him. Papa looked out at the mountain, beyond the village. One year, my leg gave out on the mountain.
52:43I couldn't move. Clara found you and brought you to me. You helped me down. Mama had been living
52:51under tight watch in those days. She wasn't allowed to look at men she passed on the road.
52:56She'd hesitated, looked around to make sure no one was watching. And then she'd helped him down
53:01anyway, and got him to the base of the mountain. A small thing. Mama had forgotten it entirely.
53:07I'd been too young to remember. Papa had remembered for years.
53:11When I saw you at my door, and saw the girl drop to her knees and call me Papa, I
53:18got my silver out.
53:19He'd thought. If they didn't want to stay with a cripple, once the girl was older, he'd help them
53:25find somewhere else to go. He hadn't expected me to mean it. He hadn't expected Mama to mean it
53:30either. Then the two of them walked into a snowstorm to find him. That was when he decided this was
53:36his
53:36family. He wasn't letting go. Papa asked me when I had first really thought of him as my father.
53:42I smiled. When you threw the silver down and said I was your child now. He'd said your child,
53:50not my purchase. He'd never once treated me like something he'd bought. That was my Papa.
53:56My only real father. The only one I ever needed.
53:59The only one I ever needed.
54:00The only one I ever needed.
54:01The only one I ever needed.
54:01The only one I needed.
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