- 29 minutes ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:09To secure an early retirement, I joined a secret surrogacy program to carry a test-tube
00:14baby for a mysterious client.
00:15I'm warning you again, absolute confidentiality about the president's identity, not a single
00:21word, otherwise you won't live to see another sunrise.
00:33Mr. President, eyes on me.
00:46Take your clothes off.
00:54Three years by his side, taking down his enemies, handling the press.
00:58I'm the one who deserves to stand next to him.
01:01The first one to bear my heir becomes the first lady.
01:17Not long after, the other women in the surrogacy program started getting pregnant one by one.
01:23I was the last one to find out I was pregnant.
01:26Once I have this baby, I'll take the money and go.
01:28First lady?
01:29Nah, that's not in the cards for me.
01:31Nurse?
01:32Doctor?
01:33Surrogate number one just had her baby, it's a boy.
01:36Leah, guess that locks up the first lady spot for her.
01:38The second the president saw the kid, he had her and the baby kicked out, said the baby she
01:42had was some other guy's bastard.
01:44Wait!
01:44She actually hooked up with someone else during the surrogacy program?
01:46I thought it was just number one being crazy enough to try it.
01:49But then, one by one, the other women had their babies.
01:52The president took one look at each and knew they weren't his.
01:54Every last one of them got kicked out.
01:56Take your bastard and get lost.
01:57Sorry, Mr. President, just give me another chance.
01:59I swear I can give you a child.
02:01Before I knew it, it was the day I went into labor.
02:05Come on, push!
02:06Give it everything!
02:07Baby's almost here!
02:08Ah!
02:09Ah!
02:15One last push.
02:16Come on, you can do it!
02:17Ah!
02:18The baby's here!
02:19A healthy baby!
02:21Ah!
02:23Monster!
02:24Monster!
02:27What's wrong?
02:31What the hell?
02:33I just gave birth to...
02:34Dog pups?
02:36How does a woman give birth to dogs?
02:39Oh no.
02:40This is bad.
02:41The president won't even need a test.
02:43No!
02:43Just one look and he'll know this isn't his.
02:46I'm definitely getting kicked out now.
02:48And the money?
02:49Gone.
02:52What's going on here?
02:54What's going on here?
03:01What should I do?
03:02What should I do?
03:12Where's my baby?
03:17Tell me, where is my child?
03:20Mr. President, I'm so sorry.
03:22I let you down.
03:23Sorry for what?
03:24I lied.
03:25I...
03:27I wasn't pregnant.
03:29That wasn't a baby coming out.
03:30That was...
03:31That was a massive, toxic, waste-level crap.
03:34One whiff and the guy dropped like a fly.
03:39A fake pregnancy?
03:40So you mean my whole medical team can't tell if a woman's pregnant or not?
03:44That's because I was so desperate to get pregnant with your baby.
03:46I took all kinds of hormone shots and it...
03:48It made me look pregnant.
03:50Today...
03:50Today I just ate too much and had to go.
03:55What was that sound?
04:03Mr. President, you should stay back.
04:05I just went.
04:07It's pretty rank.
04:08So I skipped a budget hearing and a National Security Council meeting and waited two hours
04:13here just for you to take a crack?
04:16Mr. President, I really didn't mean for this to happen.
04:19Just give me more time.
04:21I promise I'll get pregnant with your baby.
04:23I won't waste my sperm on you anymore.
04:26But what about the surrogacy money?
04:28After playing me like this, you'll work as a cleaner in the White House until you've
04:32paid off your debt.
04:34What?
04:37No money.
04:38And now I'm stuck working for free.
04:40What a joke.
04:41You two little troublemakers.
04:43You totally screwed me.
04:45If it weren't for you, who knows?
04:46Maybe I'd be first lady now.
04:54Okay, that doesn't sound like any dog I've ever heard.
04:57Eh, whatever.
04:58But hey, you're mine, right?
05:02You guys hungry?
05:03You hungry?
05:14Wait, you don't want to nurse, do you?
05:19All right, fine.
05:21Breastfeeding a couple of dogs.
05:22I guess that's just what happens when you're their mom.
05:29Drink up.
05:33Now that's what I call my kids.
05:35Already drinking in style.
05:36You two are going places.
05:39Looks like mom's retirement plan is riding on you little furballs now.
05:44What the hell?
05:45I mean, I was definitely implanted with the president's sperm.
05:49So how the hell did I end up with puppies?
05:54Whose dog is this?
05:55You hurt?
05:57Hey, easy now.
05:58I won't bite.
05:58Wait, wow.
06:00I've never seen a dog as big as you before.
06:04Could it be him?
06:06Nah, I'm definitely going crazy.
06:15Mommy, hug.
06:18You two?
06:19We're the puppies?
06:20How do puppies just turn into kids?
06:22And they're already big and can talk.
06:23What kind of freak show did I give birth to?
06:25Mommy!
06:27Their cheeks are soft and warm.
06:30Feels just like regular kids.
06:33Mommy, hugs.
06:35Okay, okay.
06:37Mommy's good babies.
06:39Puppy kids, whatever.
06:41You're mine and that's all that matters.
06:45Those two little monsters eat more every day.
06:48This might just last them one day.
06:51What, they're not feeding you enough at the White House?
06:53I just don't want to waste anything.
06:55You're always talking about saving food, so I'm supporting you.
06:58Just focus on paying off your debt.
07:00Don't try anything cute.
07:02I, I get it.
07:11Broke, do you think Mom will be mad that we snucked out?
07:14Mom worked so hard for us.
07:15We got to get her a gift.
07:17I think I smell Dad.
07:21I think I'm sold to you.
07:22We got to go.
07:27We got to go.jä,
07:35we got to go. My freeze깃.
07:36What? He's notstered.
07:38I'm people really haunts
07:38on YouTube. He takes care of me. He vibes
07:40in the intollo遊 Beach.
07:41He bites me. My Bloomberg and they're
07:43not soon-to
07:43-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to, I'm 40,000 months old. But
07:47I feel okay to you model a scene.
07:48People watching your MOOC and Lew, I want
07:49them out to me. Seriously, that's
07:49all I ever got to know.
07:49hello stop right there mrs. Olivia so a small-town girl with a high school
08:13diploma who can't even tell which fork to use what makes you think you're
08:16qualified quick qualified what makes you deserve to stand by his side it took me three years to
08:24get where I am three years of crisis of staying up with him through countless nights and you
08:28you just lay around for a few months spread your legs and that's it I never thought of it that
08:32way
08:33remember your place janitor once your debt is paid get the hell out of the White House
08:40miss Olivia classified documents are missing from the Oval Office what which thief has the
08:46guts to steal from the presidential office hey babies mommy's home mommy we got you a present
08:55a present what kind of present could you two little rascals have for me
09:02for you mommy mommy here take this the presidential seal the nuclear button briefcase no no
09:21so you two are the crazy little thieves how could you steal this stuff
09:26we were just looking for food for mommy we found it in some room this ring is so pretty mommy
09:33you
09:33should wear it oh no oh no we are so screwed code red lock it in the White House search
09:41every room
09:42not one corner gets missed oh my god if the president finds out it was these two pups who stole
09:47it we're
09:48done for mr. president we've searched every other room in the White House this is the last one the
09:53maid's quarters open the door there they are right here oh my god caught red-handed I'm definitely going
10:08to jail leah Cole why are my presidential seal and the nuclear Bolton briefcase in your room
10:14mr. president I I don't know anything I went to work early this morning and when I got back
10:20these things were just here it must be the real thief they probably realized they couldn't get
10:25out of the White House so they dumped the stuff in my room to throw everyone off or set me
10:29up
10:30that lie is full of holes your room is so remote which thief would just happen to come here
10:36you're obviously the one who stole it you little lying bitch just tell the truth already ma'am look
10:40at me I'm just someone who cleans here why would I steal something like that I've got no motive
10:44mr. president don't forget this woman already faked a pregnancy and lied to you when she got
10:50caught she held a grudge I wouldn't be surprised if she's been bought off by your political enemies
10:54that's why she stole the presidential seal and the nuclear button briefcase to set you up and
10:58destroy your reputation tell me who put you up to this was it that wig wearing senator next door
11:04i swear i didn't mr. president this woman is too calculating keeping her around you is a
11:10ticking time bomb i think we should charge her with espionage and throw her in prison right now
11:16no i'm not a spy i i swear then let's do it in your way
11:26oh my god
11:29get down from there now that's the president do you have any idea about how much his shit cost
11:40what the hell is that filthy thing
11:46you dirty bitch you didn't clean properly so you attracted these strays someone kill these animals
11:52throw them in the trash
11:58mr. president they're just two stray dogs with nowhere to go i felt bad for them so i've been
12:03hiding them here they're like my own kids i'm just a single mom trying to raise two little ones it's
12:08hard enough please don't hurt them i swear i'll train them to use the toilet and they won't chew up
12:12your shoes
12:15mr. president these are clearly wolf cubs but she's raising them like dogs and weird thing is
12:21holding this little guy gives me a strange feeling like i've seen him somewhere before
12:26you really like them huh
12:30well duh they're my kids of course i like them
12:33yes they're adorable please just let me keep them i swear they won't bite won't make a mess i'll even
12:40put diapers on them if i have to
12:45too bad they're just regular wolf pups wish they were werewolves this ends here
12:50no one speaks of this thank you mr president
13:05we're finally gone you two little rascals best behave from now on if you pull something like
13:11that again i swear i'll hand you over to olivia you can be her little hand warmers
13:30mr president i checked it out not so straight as the woman brought them to the hospital
13:33but where they actually came from that i couldn't trace no way she secretly had two puppies while she
13:39was in the hospital so why lie i i wasn't pregnant that wasn't a baby coming out that was
13:46that was a massive toxic waste level crack
13:50one whiff and the guy dropped a fly
13:56find the doctor who delivered her baby
13:59yes sir
14:10hey easy now i won't bite but wow i've never seen a dog as big as you before
14:20what is that woman hiding
14:24mr president she was the one on delivery duty that day tell me what did you see when that woman
14:31gave birth
14:33i i didn't see anything
14:38tell the truth okay okay i'll talk i i saw that she didn't give birth to a baby she gave
14:43birth of
14:44two puppies and then i passed out from shock you're saying she gave birth to two wolf pops yes i
14:54swear
14:54every word is true i've never seen a woman give birth to puppies before
14:58so that's yesterday was so weird stealing the presidential seal and the nuclear button briefcase
15:03is supposed to be a one-way ticket to prison but he totally let me off and he even touched
15:07my pups
15:08maybe he likes dogs too get the cages ready i'm getting those mutts out of the white house today
15:27what are kids dishes doing here those those are for feeding my dogs
15:31feeding dogs with people's dishes leah cole this is the white house not your trailer park
15:38now hand over those mutts
15:40the president said i could keep them
15:43the president runs a country you think he remembers some low-life stray dogs
15:48search the place find those little beasts i'm throwing them out myself
15:59stop the president said i could keep them you can't
16:04out of my way
16:10you think i don't know what you're doing
16:13playing the poor girl with two dogs so the president takes notice of you
16:17let me tell you something you're not even fit to tie his shoes
16:22there you little bastard dog grab them
16:29stray dogs dare to bite bite kill them do it now
16:50don't move you forgot what you promised mommy yesterday
16:56promise me never shift in front of anyone else or it'll bring
17:01to us okay mommy what are you waiting for pull those little beasts out
17:12no don't hurt my kids
17:16kids what kids
17:23leah cole have you lost your mind wanting to be first ladies so bad
17:27you actually think two stray dogs are your kids
17:30you can't have a real baby so you're raising mutts as substitutes
17:34you're disgusting you'd throw away every shred of dignity just to be first lady
17:40you scheming little bitch i'm not letting you stick around
17:45i'm gonna make you watch these little beasts die
17:48throw these stray dogs in the cage and kill them
17:59babies don't be scared mommy's here
18:03what are you waiting for hit her too beat her until she stops moving
18:19i'd like to see anyone touch her
18:31mr president
18:33mr president what brings you here this place is beneath you
18:36olivia you've got some nerve i made it clear she's allowed to keep these two
18:39here why do you bring people to hurt them
18:41mr president you misunderstand i was worried about rabies what if they pose a
18:45risk to you i was just going to have them checked out and bring them back
18:50she's she's lying she just wanted to kill my dogs
18:53sorry i'm late
19:03these two are cleaner than the bottom of your shoes
19:24oh my god the president the president is holding me what kind of script is this
19:31he saved me and he's being gentle am i hallucinating from getting beat up
19:39olivia since you care so much about the pets running around the white house
19:42security's looking for someone to walk the dogs you'd be perfect
19:46mr president i just didn't think it through but i was only worried about your safety
19:50you too are you here to protect me or are you olivia's personal bodyguards
19:54mr president we if you can't figure out who signs your checks i'll send you somewhere you'll
19:58learn fast they're short on people in the middle east you leave tomorrow see what a real
20:03field assignment looks like mr president we're sorry please give us another chance
20:07mr president this young lady has extensive bruising and contusions on her back
20:12i've already disinfected the area just needs oint applied regularly
20:15i'll do it
20:22um maybe i should just do it myself i mean your hands are for signing treaties not for
20:27oh my god the president just touched me why is he being so nice to me we've only known each
20:33other for a few days is he is he up to something
20:41i promise you what happened today will never happen again thank you for saving mr president
20:49come in mr president about what happened today it was my mistake i hope you can forgive me
20:57olivia i've never doubted your work but you need to understand my personal life is none of your
21:03business yes sir from today on leah cole is no longer a cleaner move her into the room next to
21:10mine what and one more thing the white house correspondents dinner is the day after tomorrow
21:17leah will attend as my girlfriend we're making it official girlfriend girlfriend mr president
21:23this this isn't right i'm just a cleaner i no one deserves it more than you what is wrong with
21:30this man did someone drug him i mean okay he's hot and the body's not bad but this is too
21:35fast i
21:36am not ready for this mr president every major media outlet will be at that dinner announcing a
21:40surrogate as your girlfriend out of nowhere is reckless if they dig into her background your
21:44reputation then this is a test of your public relations skills olivia i'm sure you'll do a
21:48great job with the dinner party too bad he doesn't know these two little ones are his own flesh and
21:55blood only these two pups are truly mine none of those women bore my seed but no one can know
22:02i'm a
22:02werewolf their real identity has to stay hidden for now
22:13miss cole this is your room if you need anything just call me
22:24okay come out babies
22:37kids you're sure the maid heard right positive two kids four or five years old called her mommy
22:43ah got it this bitch makes a living by spreading her legs for surrogacy those brats are probably
22:48leftovers from some job baby data ran off no one wanted them so she got stuck with them then we
22:53should tell the president let him know she's got two kids in tow he'll dump her for sure that's
22:56too easy for her tomorrow is the white house correspondence dinner every media outlet in the
23:02country will be there i'm going to destroy her in front of everyone she'll crawl out of the white
23:06house in shame mommy's going to a dinner tonight you two stay here sleep tight and no sneaking out
23:14got it got it mommy bye bye mommy
23:24mr president we hear you're announcing something big tonight any hints you'll know soon enough
23:40who is she i don't remember any first lady looking that young and gorgeous maybe some european princess
23:45she's got that kind of vibe whoever she is tomorrow's front page is locked
24:03you look stunning tonight shall we dance
24:09mr president i don't know how just follow my lead
24:19the president is dancing with her this is huge
24:32no no no snap out of it leah he's the president
24:35half the women in america would could kill to marry him what makes you think a small town janitor
24:40even stands a chance get a grip
24:44allow me to introduce my girlfriend leah cole
24:52he actually said it
24:57mr president what's miss cole's background
25:00how long have you two been together how did you meet
25:05don't be afraid
25:08my girlfriend is an ordinary girl no noble background no complicated past she's clean she's simple i don't want my
25:13position to affect our relationship
25:15i'm counting on all of you please leave her alone
25:20miss cole do you feel pressure being the president's girlfriend
25:25hi how many boyfriends have you had before
25:29i've never dated anyone so that means the president is your first love
25:38sorry to interrupt you mr president but there are two children at the door they say they're looking for their
25:43mother
25:43i wasn't sure how to handle it because the person they're looking for i didn't dare stop them
25:50my babies
25:53you
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