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  • 20 hours ago
You Never Saw Me
Transcript
00:00I know exactly how tonight ends. I've already died in it once. Cole Whitfield, starting QB, Yale football recruit, my
00:07childhood friend, I've always liked him.
00:09Ivy's birthday. Warehouse on Delancey. No one's checking. Midnight. Everyone's going!
00:18Cole, the SAT is tomorrow morning. That place serves real alcohol. My dad works the ER. He's treated kids from
00:26this school this year.
00:27More than once. Are you seriously doing this right now?
00:36Mara, it's my birthday. I've invited you. Can you just not?
00:47She's just mad Cole is doing something nice for Ivy.
00:50That night I called every single person. I was at the testing center at 7.30am. I made sure they
00:56all showed up. They aced the SAT.
00:58Then the results came in. And with them, the news.
01:02Ivy went to the warehouse alone. Someone dumped Everlight into the punch bowl. Ivy had three cups.
01:11Someone assaulted her. Cole decided it was my fault. Everyone agreed.
01:16If you hadn't stopped us, someone would have been there to protect her!
01:19They pushed me down the third floor stairwells.
01:22I died on the spot. Cole watched.
01:25When the police asked, the whole class said the same thing.
01:27I threatened them. And when they stopped me, I tried to run and fell.
01:30Every call I made that night became evidence against me.
01:33Someone found our address online.
01:35Someone poured gasoline at our front door and lit it.
01:38My parents were inside.
01:40Cole lived next door.
01:42He stood on the balcony watching the fire.
01:45Only after my parents stopped screaming, did he call 911.
01:49I found all of this out after I was already dead.
01:53I also found out the truth about Ivy.
01:56Every single piece of it was planned by her.
02:02Cole's voice reached me before I was fully awake.
02:07Is Mara actually coming?
02:09She's going to kill the whole vibe.
02:11She rewrote two of my papers last month.
02:13She's useful.
02:14So what is she?
02:15Your tutor or your errand girl?
02:19Neither.
02:20She's just...
02:21She's always around.
02:23She likes being useful.
02:24It's basically her whole personality.
02:31That's all I ever was to him.
02:32Same 15 people.
02:34Same cheer.
02:35Same room.
02:36I'm back.
02:37Last time I lost everything.
02:39My parents.
02:40My home.
02:41This time I won't make the same mistake again.
02:44Mara, you're coming too, right?
02:46I did invite you.
02:47Have fun, Ivy.
02:49You're not going to lecture us?
02:51Nope.
02:52Last time you ran home and called everyone's parents, not this time.
02:54He grabbed my wrist hard.
02:56His other hand went into my bag and pulled out driver's license.
03:02No photo ID.
03:04No entry at the testing center.
03:08You know the rules?
03:10Stay quiet tonight.
03:11Don't ruin Ivy's birthday.
03:13And you get this back tomorrow morning.
03:14Simple.
03:15Cole is the QB.
03:16Nobody moves when Cole does something.
03:24Don't make this a thing, Mara.
03:26It's one night.
03:28Cole, that is the only thing I need to get into the testing center tomorrow.
03:32Give it back.
03:33Come with us and you'll have it back in the morning.
03:35Stop being difficult.
03:49Cole walked me to the old gym
03:51At the end of the hallway
03:53No cameras back there
04:00Relax
04:00It's just one night
04:01I'll come back for you after
04:02Cole, I have a test tomorrow
04:05Tonight is about Ivy, not you
04:07It was never about you
04:09Something hard hit the floor outside the door
04:11He stomped on my phone
04:13Cole!
04:17His footsteps faded
04:19Nothing left
04:20Just the dark and the sound of my own breathing
04:23I have a backup phone in my jacket pocket
04:25I could call 911 right now
04:27Officers would be here in five minutes
04:30Cole's Yale recruitment would be gone tonight
04:31But that's not what I want
04:34I want Ivy's plan to run
04:36I need her to believe she won
04:38The only way this ends for good
04:40Is everyone can see
04:41It's how deep the hole goes
04:43I opened the screen recorder
04:44Hit record
04:45Started talking
04:47My name is Mara Scott
04:49Today is Friday, October 14th
04:53Cole Whitfield
04:54Starting QB at Harlington Academy
04:56And Yale football recruit
04:59Just locked me in the old gymtasium
05:02He took my driver's license
05:03So I cannot enter the SAT testing center tomorrow
05:07Last time I had nothing
05:08Just my word against 15 people
05:11Who had already agreed on their story
05:12This time
05:13Everything is on record
05:15Before a single lie gets told
05:1740 minutes later
05:18My dad found me
05:20Who did this?
05:24Dad, do not go to the school
05:26Do not call anyone
05:26Mara
05:27Do not talk to any other parents about tonight
05:29No matter what you hear tomorrow
05:31Promise me first
05:33He looked at my hands
05:35He looked at my face
05:37He made the promise
05:39We walked to the car
05:40He did not ask anything else
05:42Until the doors were closed
05:47Tell me
05:49I want to submit my McGill application tonight
05:52Test optional early action
05:55I don't need an SAT score
05:57I want to leave
05:58You've been putting that application off for three months
06:01You said you wanted to stay because
06:02I was wrong about what I was staying for
06:10He did not push
06:11He started the car
06:18The last time I sat in a car in the dark
06:19Waiting for something to be over
06:21Was last fall
06:23Three seasons of opponent breakdowns for Cole
06:26One notebook a week
06:28He never once asked who wrote them
06:32I saw the car before he did
06:35It came in from the far entrance
06:37Too fast
06:37No headlights
06:39It was aimed at him
06:40No time to think
06:41I moved
06:45The car didn't stop
06:46It just drove away
06:47I got up
06:48My ankle was on fire
06:50Cole was on the ground
06:51And not moving
06:52And I called 911
06:53And I stayed with him
06:55Until I could hear the sirens
07:01I wrote
07:02Good luck
07:03I put it back
07:05I stepped away
07:06Before the paramedics reached him
07:23I found out later
07:24That Cole woke up
07:26And the first face he saw was hers
07:29I found out later
07:30What she let him believe
07:33I wrapped my ankle myself
07:35The cut was deep enough to scar
07:37But the next day was Cole's game
07:39And I didn't want him to know
07:41Cole didn't know I wasn't there until after the game
07:43He won
07:44He texted me one line
07:46You missed it
07:55You missed the game
07:58I know
07:59How's your head
08:00Fine
08:01Why weren't you there
08:02Something came up
08:03You knew how important this game was
08:05He didn't notice my leg was hurt
08:08That was the last home game of the season
08:12He won
08:12He got his Yale letter three months later
08:16The notebook from that week is still in his bag
08:18He carries it to every game
08:20He has never once opened it in front of me
08:23He does not know that the handwriting on the last page is mine
08:27He thinks Ivy saved him
08:31I never corrected it
08:32I knew he wouldn't believe me
08:38I opened the group chat on my backup phone
08:41Party photos
08:43Everyone packed into the warehouse
08:44A big punch bowl in the center
08:46The crowd was still cheering
08:48Two people in the back were already on the floor
08:51Someone posted another video from the party
08:56Hey, where's your little girlfriend Mara?
08:59She's not my girlfriend
09:03Really?
09:04Can I ask her out then?
09:07I think she's kind of great
09:08Why would you go for her?
09:12Prove it
09:14It's just background
09:29Cole burned my test ID
09:31He knew how much that exam is meant to me
09:35It just didn't matter to him
09:39I opened my laptop
09:41McGill portal
09:42Early action
09:45Test optional box
09:47Uploaded everything
09:48Hit submit
09:50Last time I gave this up for Cole
09:52I believed him
09:54I stayed
09:58I lost everything
10:10Alcohol poisoning
10:11A group of students
10:13I have to go in
10:19Stay at the hospital all day
10:20If anyone asks you were there all night
10:22Do not come to the school
10:24Do not let your name get into whatever story starts today
10:27What story?
10:29The kind where they need someone to blame
10:31Stay out of it
10:32Promise me
10:40I promise
10:42He left
10:43I sat in the quiet kitchen
10:46Mom was humming in the other room
10:48The coffee maker was running
10:51Birds outside
10:52Everything still here
10:55They are not taking this from me again
11:05Where is everyone?
11:07Testing starts in 30 minutes
11:10Twelve students with alcohol poisoning last night
11:13Police said someone spiked the punch bowl with Everclear
11:15Three are in the ICU
11:22Most of my top students are in the hospital right now
11:31Mara
11:31Good
11:32You're here
11:33Where's your ID?
11:34Cole Whitfield took my driver's license from my bag last night
11:37He walked me to the back of the old gym and locked me in so I couldn't stop them from
11:40going to the party
11:42I have it on video
11:46My phone buzzed
11:47Ivy had just gone live
11:49We just wanted to celebrate
11:50Mara told us the party was safe
11:53She said she had been there before
11:55She wanted us to go
11:57She had a problem with Cole
11:58She knew her dad worked at that hospital
12:00I think she wanted something to go wrong
12:04My son is in the ICU
12:06You did this?
12:07No
12:07I have the video
12:09Everything from last night is on record
12:11Cole just confirmed it on camera
12:14You told them to go
12:15I looked at the live stream
12:16Cole's mouth was moving
12:18He still would not look at the camera
12:20The QB who throws touchdowns in front of 2,000 people every Friday night could not look at a camera
12:25right now
12:26Everything from last night is uploaded and time-stamped
12:29Before any of you agreed on your story
12:31You want to keep going?
12:33Go ahead
12:33Ivy saw my phone on the stream
12:35Her face changed
12:36Just for a second
12:37Cole finally looked at the camera
12:39He was not angry
12:40He was not confident
12:41He was scared
12:42There's one more thing I need to say
12:44This is really hard for me
12:46Mara's father is the attending physician at Mercy General right now
12:49He is treating our classmates
12:50I am not saying he did anything wrong on purpose
12:53I am just saying
12:54If that was my child in that hospital
12:55I would want to know
12:59Get her father out of that hospital right now
13:02He is not touching my kids
13:03She set the whole thing up so a dad could finish the job
13:09Every second of this is being recorded
13:11You are all on camera right now
13:14Let go of me
13:15Get your hands off my daughter
13:17Right now
13:18You want to talk about last night?
13:20My daughter tried to stop your kids from going to that party
13:23Your kids walked her to the back of the old gym
13:25Locked her in and took her ID
13:27So she could not even get into the SAT
13:29I have the audio
13:30You want to hear it right now?
13:33I opened my phone and went live
13:35Title
13:36The truth about last night
13:3840 seconds in
13:3910,000 viewers
13:40Ivy is still live right now
13:42I'm going to play something she doesn't want you to hear
13:44Tonight is about Ivy
13:46Not you
13:46It was never about you
13:48Now for the other thing
13:50Mara, stop!
13:51Whatever you think you have
13:52I've been in your private account, Ivy
13:54The one you think no one knows about
13:55Three weeks ago you told your friend you couldn't take the SAT
13:58Because your grades are fake
14:00Every score you ever posted came from someone else taking the test for you
14:04That's insane
14:05You can't prove any of
14:08Screenshots are in the chat right now
14:10Her own words
14:11Her own account
14:12Time stanks matching three weeks ago exactly
14:14The comments went sideways
14:15Ivy looked at Cole
14:16He was staring at his phone reading the screenshots
14:18His face was falling apart in real time
14:20You knew
14:21You knew the whole time and you
14:23Cole, listen to me
14:24My airwap recruitment is under review because of last night
14:27Because of you
14:32Cole, we're live
14:33Look at me
14:34He stood up
14:35Knocked his chair over
14:36He looked at the camera for one second
14:3840,000 people watching
14:40Then he reached over and hit end stream on Ivy's phone
14:44Her stream cut out
14:45Mine kept running
14:49Mara
14:50I owe you an apology
14:53Yeah
14:53You do
14:59You okay?
15:01I didn't get to take my SAT
15:02I know
15:03It's okay
15:04I submitted my Miguel application test washable at 2am
15:07I don't need the score
15:09When did you do that?
15:10Right after Ivy sent me the photo of my burned ID
15:13That's my girl
15:14But she is not done
15:1520 minutes later she texted me
15:17This isn't over, Mara
15:19The next morning
15:20Cole showed up at my door
15:23I'll go open the door
15:29I need to talk tomorrow
15:30You need to leave
15:32Please
15:33Five minutes
15:37Mom
15:38It's okay
15:40Mom looked at me
15:41I shook my head slightly
15:42She stepped back
15:43I walked to the door
15:44Cole looked at me
15:45Something crossed his face that I had not seen before
15:47Not confidence
15:48Not his usual ease
15:50Shame
15:50Yale called
15:52They're putting my recruitment on hold pending an investigation
15:55I know
15:55I didn't know she faked everything
15:58The grades
15:59The scores
15:59All of it
16:00I know you didn't
16:01Then why didn't you warn me?
16:04You knew
16:05You had everything
16:07Cole
16:08You locked me in a gym
16:11You stomped on my phone
16:13You stood in front of 15 people
16:15And took my driver's license out of my bag
16:18And you want to know why I didn't warn you?
16:24I need your help
16:26If Yale pulls my offer
16:27I lose everything
16:28You want me to save your Yale spot?
16:30You're the only one who can
16:32No
16:33I am not calling Yale
16:35I am not writing a letter
16:36I am not doing one single thing to fix what Ivy broke
16:39That is not my job
16:40It was never my job
16:42But you have the evidence
16:44One call fixes this
16:45I could
16:46Last time something like this happened
16:48I spent an entire night trying to save everyone
16:50And I'm not doing that again
16:53Last time?
16:53What does that mean?
16:56Go home, Cole
16:57I'm sorry
16:58About the gym
16:59About all of it
17:00I know that doesn't fix anything
17:03You're right
17:03It doesn't
17:06That afternoon
17:07I went to the library
17:08Third floor
17:10I had work to do
17:22Cole came to your house this morning
17:24What did you say to him?
17:25Why don't you ask him?
17:27Is he not talking to you anymore?
17:34He's not going to suddenly realize he has feelings for you, Mara
17:37You're just a tool he finds useful
17:38A piece of paper
17:39A notebook
17:41He can throw you away just like that
17:42Don't get too comfortable
17:44Ivy will make sure you understand what happens next
17:46You and your dad
17:52I knew they were right
17:53He had used me so long that being used had started to look like being close
17:57I used to call it love
17:58This time I won't
18:00I have work to do
18:09He sat there for an hour
18:11I never showed up
18:13Then he left
18:14I don't know what he was waiting for
18:17But it has nothing to do with me anymore
18:21Two hours later
18:22Ivy posted a statement
18:24She called it a mental health crisis
18:27She made a point of naming my dad
18:30She called him the physician whose daughter orchestrated the entire incident
18:34She attached a screenshot
18:36A text from my dad to a parent
18:38Saying he was aware of the situation and would handle it
18:40The text was fake
18:41My phone blew up
18:42Unknown numbers
18:43My dad's hospital page was flooded with one-star reviews
18:46Someone filed a complaint with the state medical board
18:49I called my dad
18:51I see it
18:52Don't respond to anything
18:53Don't post anything
18:54I'll handle it
18:56Mara
18:57Dad
18:57Do you trust me?
19:00Yes
19:00Then let me work
19:07I made one mistake
19:08That Forge screenshot
19:10Had no metadata
19:11She had edited it out
19:13But the original file still existed in the cloud backup of her account
19:18The one she didn't know I could access
19:19I had it in 20 minutes
19:21The original file had a creation times tape
19:2411.47pm
19:27My dad had been asleep for two hours by then
19:29His phone was charging in the bedroom
19:32His location tag showed he was home
19:34I sent everything to three places
19:36The school board
19:37The state medical board
19:38And a reporter at the local news station
19:39Who had been covering the SAT story since yesterday morning
19:44Is this Mara Scott?
19:45I'm a producer at Channel 7
19:47We'd like to give you the chance to respond to Ivy Munro's statement
19:49No need to respond
19:50Check your inbox
19:51I just sent you something better
19:52I hung up
19:55Forty minutes later
19:56Channel 7 posted a new segment
19:58Forged evidence
20:00New questions in the Harrington-Sate-T scandal
20:05The medical board complaint against my dad was suspended pending review
20:09Dad called
20:10What did you do?
20:14Exactly what I said I would
20:16Mara, you can't keep
20:18Dad
20:19She tried to take your license
20:21Your entire career
20:23I am not going to sit and watch that happen
20:27Come home for dinner
20:28Mom made lasagna
20:31That was his version of thank you
20:37You're Mara Scott
20:40Yeah
20:42I'm Nate Kowalski
20:44Hockey
20:45I know who you are
20:46Then you know I'm not one of Cole's guys
20:49What do you want, Nate?
20:51I want to show you something
20:53He showed me a screenshot from one of Ivy's private accounts
20:56Not the one I had accessed
20:58Six months of messages between Ivy and a man I didn't recognize
21:02My friend Marcus was supposed to get a full athletic scholarship to Boston College
21:05Hockey
21:06Full ride
21:07He didn't get it because someone sent the scholarship committee an anonymous tip saying he failed a drug test
21:11He never failed a drug test
21:13The tip was fake
21:17And you think Ivy did it?
21:19I know she did it
21:20The anonymous email came from a school IP address
21:23And Marcus turned Ivy down when she asked him out sophomore year
21:29You've been building a file
21:32Four months
21:33But I don't have what you have
21:36You got into her accounts
21:37I can't do that
21:42Why are you coming to me now?
21:46Because you're the first person I've seen who isn't scared of her
21:48That evening Nate took me to meet Marcus
21:52You're the one who went after Ivy
21:55Yeah
21:55She didn't just kill my BC scholarship
21:57She told the committee I was dealing
21:59Dealing
22:00I have never touched anything in my life
22:02College coaches stopped returning my calls
22:04My whole future just stopped
22:06Because she was mad I didn't ask her to homecoming
22:08I know
22:09I'm going to get it back for you
22:11How?
22:11Same way I handled everything else
22:12I let her dig the hole
22:14Then I show everyone how deep it is
22:16What do you need from me?
22:17I registered for the November national test date
22:20My scores came back in December
22:211580
22:22The highest in Harrington's recorded history
22:24The school posted it on the announcement board
22:26My name
22:27My score
22:27Right where Cole's football stats used to hang
22:29You were holding back
22:31The whole time
22:33Three days later Ivy came back
22:39You think you won?
22:42This isn't over
22:43Ivy
22:45You forged evidence
22:46And filed a fake complaint
22:48Against my dad's medical license
22:50That is a felony
22:52You should thank me
22:53For sending it to the school board
22:54Instead of the DA
22:56I found the email account
22:57She used for Marcus' fake tip
22:59It's linked to three other accounts
23:01She did this to other people
23:02At least two more that I can find
23:04Send me everything
23:07Ivy didn't just go after Marcus
23:09She has been doing this for years
23:11There are other people out there
23:12Who lost things they never should have lost
23:14The first was Jordan Ellis
23:15Junior
23:16Track and field
23:17She applied for the state
23:18Athletatorship scholarship
23:19Full tuition anywhere in the state
23:20She didn't get it
23:21The rejection letter said
23:22Credible concerns about her character
23:24Had been raised during the vetting process
23:33I found the original tip in Ivy's archive
23:35Same pattern
23:36School IP address
23:38Fake account
23:39Sent the night before the scholarship committee met
23:43I cried for a month after that rejection
23:45My parents thought I wasn't good enough
23:47I thought I wasn't good enough
23:49You were always good enough
23:50Someone made sure you didn't get the chance to prove it
23:54Not anymore
23:55The second was a kid named Dev Patel
23:58Graduated last year
23:59Full ride to Carnegie Mellon
24:01Rescinded three weeks before move-in
24:04Academic misconduct
24:05Anonymous source
24:07He spent the year working at a warehouse
24:09And reapplying everywhere
24:10I sent him the file with one line
24:12This is who did it
24:14I thought you should know
24:18I spent a year thinking I must have done something wrong
24:21And just didn't remember it
24:25Thank you
24:26I don't even have words
24:32I heard about Jordan and Dev
24:34Nate told me
24:34Okay
24:35How many people did she do this to?
24:38At least four that we found
24:39Probably more
24:41I dated her for eight months
24:45I know
24:46I gave her access
24:47My coaches
24:48My contacts
24:49People who trusted me
24:51She used all of it
24:53And I had no idea
24:55I'm sorry Mara
24:57Not just about the gym
24:58About everything
24:59Every time I could have paid attention and didn't
25:02I know
25:03Cole is starting to understand
25:04How much Ivy used him
25:07Nate had practice until 9pm on Thursdays
25:11I started doing homework in the bleachers
25:12While he ran drills
25:15The rink was quiet and no one bothered me
25:17You're still here?
25:27Can I ask you something?
25:30Sure
25:31Why didn't you put everything out on day one?
25:33You had the recording
25:35You had Ivy's messages
25:36You could have ended this in 48 hours
25:38Because I wanted her to dig the hole herself
25:40If I dump everything at once
25:42It looks like an attack
25:43People defend whoever is being attacked
25:44But if I wait
25:45If I let her keep moving
25:47And keep lying
25:48Eventually she's too deep to climb out
25:50And everyone can see it
25:52That's cold
25:54That's math
25:56Three years at this school
25:58Never seen anyone do what you're doing
26:01Obsessively document everything
26:04Not be afraid of her
26:08Come on
26:09I'll teach you to skate
26:20Right now
26:21The rink is empty until 10
26:24I fell three times
26:27The third time
26:28He caught me before I went down
26:30His hands were on my arms
26:32Neither of us moved
26:34You okay?
26:36I'm fine
26:36He didn't let go right away
26:38I didn't step back
26:42When this is all over
26:43Where are you going?
26:45Miguel
26:46Montreal
26:49I might know someone
26:50At schools in that area
26:51Is that right?
26:54Hypothetically
26:56Ivy just filed a second complaint
26:58With the school board
26:59Claiming I had illegally
27:00Accessed her accounts
27:02She is filing legal complaints now
27:04She's scared
27:05She's swinging at everything
27:06That means she is almost out of moves
27:10Almost
27:10But almost is not done
27:13Ms. Scott accessed my client's private accounts
27:16Without authorization
27:17Any evidence obtained from those accounts
27:19Should be excluded from these proceedings
27:25Mrs. Scott
27:26Your response
27:27Ivy's accounts had no protection
27:29She used the same password for all of them
27:31Her dog's name
27:32And her birthday
27:33That's publicly available information
27:35She posted herself
27:37That's not hacking
27:38That's guessing
27:39That characterization oversimplifies
27:41I also want to note that Ivy is raising
27:43Unauthorized access concerns
27:45At the same time
27:46She forged a text from my father
27:48Filed a fake complaint
27:50With the state medical board
27:51And sent fake anonymous tips
27:53That destroyed the futures
27:54Of at least four students at this school
27:57If we're talking about what to exclude
27:59Start there
28:00I opened the folder
28:01Every document
28:02Time stamped
28:03The fake tip to Marcus's scholarship committee
28:05At Boston College
28:06The email account traced
28:07The forged screenshot of my dad's text
28:09The matamata showing it was created
28:10At 11.47pm while my father was asleep
28:13Jordan's tip
28:14Devs
28:14And the full pattern
28:15Ivy Turney kept objecting
28:17The superintendent kept overruling
28:19I want to make a statement
28:21Ms. Monroe
28:22Your attorney
28:23I know
28:24I want to speak for myself
28:25She looked at me
28:26For the first time since all of this started
28:29There was no performance in her eyes
28:30I did it
28:32The tips
28:32The emails
28:34All of it
28:34Because I was terrified
28:37My entire identity at this school
28:39Was built on something fake
28:41And I knew it was going to fall apart
28:43So I kept pushing people out of the way
28:46So no one would be standing there when it did
28:48Mrs. Scott
28:49Anything dad?
28:50I thought about Jordan crying for a month
28:53Dev working in a warehouse
28:55Marcus's face in the rink parking lot
28:57I want Marcus Williams' Boston College Scholarship
29:00Fully reinstated
29:01I want Jordan Ellis' Leadership Scholarship
29:03Reconsidered and the false tip removed from her file
29:06I want Dev Patel's Carnegie Mellon rescission
29:09Investigated and corrected
29:11That's what I want
29:13Ivy can deal with whatever comes next on her own
29:19Ivy stared at me
29:21She expected something else
29:22A demand for punishment
29:24A final blow
29:25I didn't want that
29:26I just wanted the people she hurt
29:28To get what they deserved
29:29The panel voted to recommend expulsion
29:32Pending a 30-day review
29:33Marcus's Scholarship Committee at Boston College
29:36Got a formal letter from the district the next day
29:39Jordan's file was corrected
29:44Cole texted me that night
29:46Yale reinstated his recruitment offer
29:48I know you didn't do this
29:50That's not why I'm texting
29:52Just thought you should know
29:55They reinstated it
29:57Full ride
29:57Same terms
29:58They said they'd hold my spot for January enrollment
30:01That's great
30:03Mara
30:04Thank you
30:06Two words
30:07He hung up
30:10Nate texted 30 seconds later
30:12He's been up since 5
30:14Didn't want to call too early
30:16He's been sitting there
30:18Holding his phone
30:19For two hours
30:21Last time I spent an entire night
30:23Trying to save 15 people
30:25Who didn't want to be saved
30:27This time I did one specific thing
30:29For three specific people
30:30And it worked
30:31I feel great
30:36You fixed it
30:40The committee fixed it
30:41I just gave them what they needed
30:44Don't do that
30:45Don't minimize it
30:46Okay
30:46You're welcome
30:47You could have just handled your own stuff
30:49And walked away
30:50You didn't
30:51So don't tell me it was nothing
30:52And for what it's worth
30:53Half the school is on your side now
30:55The half that matters
31:01I know you could have pushed for criminal charges
31:03You didn't
31:05Why?
31:06Because I didn't need to
31:07You already lost everything that mattered to you
31:10I don't need to see you in handcuffs to feel okay
31:12I just needed the people you hurt
31:14To get what was theirs
31:20Ivy went quiet after that
31:21The expulsion was finalized two days before winter break
31:24She didn't come back
31:26On the last day before break
31:28Nate knocked on the library door
31:30Ice rink
31:31Tonight
31:32Marcus wants to celebrate your coming
31:43You actually came
31:45You said Marcus wanted to celebrate
31:47Marcus is fine
31:48I wanted to see if you'd show up somewhere
31:50That wasn't a library or a hearing room
31:52Stop flirting and teach her to stop falling
31:55Around 11pm Marcus and Jordan went to find more food
31:58Dev was on the phone
31:59Just Nate and me at the far end of the ice
32:04You're overthinking it
32:08I'm always overthinking it
32:09Yeah
32:10I noticed
32:11Stop thinking about falling
32:13Think about where you want to go
32:27You were already moving toward me
32:32I saw you were going to fall
32:34How?
32:35I've been watching you for a while Mara
32:37He didn't let go
32:38I didn't step back
32:39I know you're leaving in August
32:41I know you have everything figured out
32:44I'm not asking to be part of your plan
32:49Then what do you want?
32:51Just this
32:52Right now
32:53Whatever this is
32:55Okay
32:55He kissed me
32:57Simple and certain
32:58Marcus wounded somewhere behind us
33:00Jordan threw a napkin
33:02Dev said something in another language
33:04And everyone laughed
33:05I didn't even care
33:07Winter break was two weeks
33:09At Nate and I spent most of it together
33:11Cole sent me a text
33:13I didn't respond
33:14I didn't need to
33:15And then Miguel sent me my early action decision
33:17Accepted
33:18For the first time in a long time
33:20The future felt like mine
33:23The students who had been at the party
33:25Took the next national test date
33:26Most of them passed
33:27Cole's Yale recruitment held
33:29He signed his letter of intense in February
33:30In the gym
33:31In front of the whole school
33:32His jersey number was painted back on the wall
33:36Hey
33:36Congratulations Cole
33:37Thank you
33:38I mean it
33:39You could have buried me
33:39You didn't
33:40I know
33:41I'm gonna spend a long time
33:42Thinking about that gym
33:43Good
33:45I found something
33:46When I was clearing out my locker
33:47I had not seen that notebook
33:49Since last fall
33:50I thought it was still in his equipment bag
33:52He had taken it out
33:53He was holding it with both hands
33:55I always thought coach put these together for me
33:57He always said the breakdowns came from the staff
34:02I never questioned it
34:04Three seasons of notebooks
34:05And I never once asked who actually wrote them
34:08I went back and compared this one to the others
34:10The handwriting is the same across all of them
34:13And it isn't coach's
34:15This page is different from the rest of the notebook
34:17The letters are uneven
34:19The spacing is off
34:20I kept trying to figure out why
34:22Then I looked at the date on the cover
34:23It's from the week of the parking lot
34:26You were hurt
34:28When you wrote this
34:29Weren't you?
34:31It healed
34:33Show me
34:34Cole
34:36Please
34:49You pushed me out of the way
34:51You called 911
34:52You stayed until the ambulance came
34:55You went home and wrapped your own ankle
34:57You wrote my game notes
34:59And then you came to school the next day
35:02And I told you that you should have been at the game
35:06And then I spent a year telling everyone you were just background
35:11I understood his regret
35:12I used to imagine this moment would feel like something enormous
35:16Relief
35:17Release
35:18Do you hate me?
35:19I thought about it
35:26I did
35:27For a long time
35:29In another life
35:29Longer than you'd believe
35:30What does that mean?
35:32It means I don't anymore
35:33But we're done here
35:36I should have known
35:37I should have known
35:37A long time ago
35:42Take care of yourself, Mara
35:43I thought about the girl
35:45Who wrote that last line
35:46With blood in her sock
35:47And meant every word of it
35:48I thought about the version of me
35:50Who would have waited years
35:51For this moment
35:52Who would have needed it
35:53I didn't need it
35:54Go to Yale, Cole
35:55Be someone different than you were here
35:57That's the whole point of leaving
36:05I looked down at the notebook
36:07He gave it back to me
36:09That was the last real conversation we had
36:12The last few months of senior year
36:13Were the quietest of my life
36:15I got something in the mail today
36:18McGill Ice Hockey
36:19Walk on invitation
36:20They saw my stats from this season
36:23Nate
36:23I know
36:23It's your school
36:24I'm not assuming anything
36:25I just wanted you to know
36:27Are you going to accept?
36:31I already did
36:32He put his arm around me
36:33And I leaned into him
36:34We sat there in the quiet
36:36The sun was out
36:37I felt good
36:40I thought about the girl
36:41Who did the right thing
36:42In a parking lot
36:43And died for it
36:44Feeling completely calm
36:46For the first time
36:48I did not save anyone
36:50Who didn't deserve to be saved
36:52I did not protect people
36:53Who used that protection
36:54As a weapon
36:56I let the ones
36:57Who were going to fall
36:58Walk right into it
36:59I kept my hands clean
37:01I used those clean hands
37:02To give back what was stolen
37:04That felt right
37:05That was enough
37:06There was one thing left
37:08Tomorrow morning
37:09I was flying to Montreal
37:11Tonight Nate said
37:12He'd drive me to the airport
37:13But he had something else to say
37:15I could feel it
37:16My parents drove me to the airport
37:19Mom cried
37:21Dad didn't
37:23But he held on a little longer
37:25Than usual
37:25And before he let go
37:27He pressed a folded piece of paper
37:28Into my hand
37:30I opened it on the plane
37:32His handwriting
37:33At Mara
37:35I don't know what you knew
37:36Or how you knew it
37:38I don't know what this year
37:39Cost you
37:41But you kept us safe
37:42I see you
37:43I love you
37:44Dad
37:46Nate was on a different flight
37:47His parents were driving him up
37:48Two days later
37:49He texted me while I was waiting at the gate
37:51Found a rink four blocks from campus
37:53Open skate on Sunday mornings
37:54Thought you should know
37:59I'm still going to fall
38:02I know
38:04I'll be there
38:12I thought about the version of myself
38:15Who sat alone in a dark gym
38:17And thought that was the worst thing
38:19That would ever happen to her
38:23She wasn't wrong
38:24It was the worst thing
38:26It happened
38:28She came back from it
38:29And did something with it
38:30That was worth doing
38:36I know exactly how to Nens
38:39This time
38:40It's all in my hands
38:41She came back
38:43It's all in my hands
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