- 7 hours ago
Trapped by the Hunter ππ
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00Among we poor, wife-sharing was common.
00:04My husband sold me to the local trapper Rowan for $300.
00:08Rowan was considerate and promised not to touch me for seven days.
00:13I turned down his offer directly.
00:16It's a two-minute business for my husband.
00:19No point dragging it out, just close eyes.
00:23That night, the old wooden bed creeped for hours.
00:28Later, I understood that men were not all the same.
00:32So wife-lending was nothing new in places like this.
00:36Poor men sent their wives out to other households to cook, clean, and bear children.
00:42The cheaper arrangements ran less than $50 a year.
00:47If a son was born, there was an extra fee on top.
00:51Men who couldn't afford to court a wife of their own would scrape together whatever they had
00:55and contract one for two or three years.
00:57Long enough to get a child.
00:59A contracted wife was not there for comfort.
01:03Days were for labor.
01:05Destroyed by a knight.
01:07My best friend Clara had been contracted out by her husband.
01:10She ended up serving four men in that household.
01:13His father and his younger brother included.
01:16When I heard, I cried for nights.
01:18I never imagined I'd end up the same.
01:21A light flared in the darkness.
01:23A tall figure stepped out of the yard, carrying a light.
01:26It's Rowan.
01:28Lily?
01:29He must come to make sure I wouldn't run.
01:31I walked to his side, a bitter smile tugging at my mouth.
01:35Run?
01:35He thought too highly of me.
01:39Half hour ago, my husband Edmund had gone down on his knees.
01:44Fingers wrapped around my sleeve, face wet with tears.
01:48Lily, this is my last chance.
01:49I need that money for my test.
01:51Just one year, that's all I'm asking.
01:53When it's over, I'll come get you myself, okay?
01:56This was Edmund's fifth failed attempt at the qualifying exams.
01:59His family had nothing left.
02:01After talking it over with his parents, they decided to contract me out.
02:05Rowan had offered the most.
02:07Come inside, it's cold out.
02:09Watch the step, the threshold's higher than it looks.
02:12A hand touched my wrist, steadied me, then let go.
02:15Warmth faded fast.
02:16I pulled my thoughts back and looked up at him carefully.
02:19Rowan was an outlier here.
02:22His family had trapped and hunted these hills for generations.
02:26He lived alone at the foot of the ridge and kept to himself.
02:29They said he'd trained as a fighter.
02:31That he could kill a wolf barehanded.
02:34That he had a temper.
02:36A thug named Tom had once crept onto his property to steal
02:39and ended up strung to a tree and beaten through the night.
02:42After that, every ruff in the settlement gave Rowan a wide beret.
02:47Tom was the biggest man in the area.
02:50If Rowan had handled Tom that easily, then I...
02:53I swallowed and stole a glance at his broad back.
02:55Then I stopped.
02:57White.
02:58Bright, vivid white in the room.
03:02Rowan had shrugged off his coat.
03:05Under the thin material, the lines of solid muscle shifted with every movement.
03:10In the corner stood a clay vase nearly as tall as my waist.
03:14It was full of winter-flooming branches.
03:17Blossoms open wide, filling the room with a heavy sweetness.
03:21Edmund's room on our wedding night hadn't looked half this fine.
03:25Was Rowan getting married?
03:27Then why had he paid $300 to contract me?
03:30Was I here to serve as a maid to his new bride?
03:36You don't like it?
03:38I was told women like flowers.
03:39I stared at him, too surprised to speak.
03:42This was all for me, but I was just contracted labor.
03:46This wasn't a wedding.
03:47Something shifted in Rowan's expression.
03:50His jaw tightened.
03:52If you don't like it, I'll get rid of it.
03:55He turned to go.
03:56I caught his arm.
03:58Don't!
04:01It's beautiful.
04:02I love it.
04:03That branch alone must have come from an entire flowering tree.
04:08The Blossoms only group in the hills, a long climb behind the settlement.
04:13Hauling it all the way back without breaking a single step that would have taken real effort.
04:19And besides, the contract had been signed at the village elder's office.
04:24Both parties were bound.
04:25I was going to share a roof with this man for a year, whether I liked it or not.
04:30I couldn't afford to make an enemy of him.
04:36One punch from Rowan, and I'd be lucky to keep all my teeth.
04:44You really mean it?
04:46I looked at him properly for the first time.
04:48He was striking.
04:50Clean, sharp features.
04:51The kind of roughness that came from years outdoors and not from hardship.
04:56A strange feeling moved through me.
04:59Maybe.
05:01Possibly.
05:02It was just possible that Rowan actually liked me.
05:07He walked to the table with both his hands and feet doing slightly different things,
05:12picked up two small cups, and carried them back to me the same way.
05:17Drink.
05:19And then settle in.
05:20Make yourself at home here.
05:22Was this a wedding cup?
05:23I had no idea why he'd arranged everything like a proper ceremony.
05:27But I took the cup and dipped my head.
05:29All right.
05:34It wasn't the first time I'd drunk one.
05:36When Edmund married me, he'd been giddy as a boy finding treasure.
05:39He'd held me all through our wedding night and talked until morning.
05:43Telling me he'd admired me for years.
05:45Telling me I was the prettiest girl in ten miles.
05:49Marrying me was the best thing that would ever happen to him.
05:54A year later, I was a chore he'd forgotten to do.
06:00His mother complained I wasn't pregnant.
06:04Edmund himself lamented that I couldn't read.
06:07And there was no point discussing books or ambitions with me.
06:13A real wife could be discarded that easily.
06:17A contracted one for a year had no chance at all.
06:20I lifted the cup and swallowed it in one go.
06:26That burned.
06:27It went down my throat like a lit match and landed in my stomach like a small fire.
06:32My eyes watered immediately.
06:38Hey, are you okay?
06:39That's my fault.
06:40I should never have bought the rough stuff.
06:42Here.
06:42Here, water.
06:43Drink this.
06:44The man in front of me split into two and merged back together.
06:48I shook my head and tried to focus.
06:50Rowan was fussing over me the way someone handles a child who's hurt themselves.
06:54Carefully tilting a bowl of water to my lips.
06:58I sipped.
06:59It was slightly sweet.
07:01Better?
07:02A little better?
07:03His hand moved in slow circles across my back.
07:07Steady and warm even through several layers of cloth.
07:11A tall, handsome man talking to me in a low, gentle voice.
07:16My head swam harder.
07:18I was drunk, I thought.
07:21Definitely drunk.
07:22I reached out, grabbed Rowan's arm, and started pulling him toward the bed.
07:27Come on.
07:28Let's get this done.
07:30Rowan didn't move.
07:32He caught my hands with a look of something like panic.
07:35Face bright red.
07:37Stumbling over his words.
07:39That won't be necessary.
07:41You've just arrived.
07:43Everything must feel strange.
07:47We can take our time.
07:49Get to know each other first.
07:51And when you feel more comfortable, we can...
07:53I let go and gave him a flat smile.
07:57It takes two minutes to drink a glass of water.
08:00You're suggesting we drag this out for two weeks?
08:04Before I married, my sister-in-law had sat me down and explained what happened between a man and a
08:10woman.
08:10My wedding night with Edmund, I'd been nervous.
08:13Then it happened, and I realized it bore no resemblance to what I'd imagined.
08:20It was fast.
08:21Clothes off.
08:23A brief fumbling.
08:24Two or three movements.
08:26And it was finished.
08:28Quicker than drinking a glass of water.
08:31Rowan looked like something had broken in his face.
08:34He stared at me like he'd misheard.
08:37My head was spinning worse, and my patience was gone.
08:42Stop standing there.
08:44Come on.
08:45We shared everything.
08:46Even the last of our food.
08:49When Clara was first contracted out, her face was bruised daily.
08:53Two months in, she was pregnant.
08:55After that, things improved.
08:57They stopped hitting her.
08:59She put on a little weight.
09:01Rowan's throat moved.
09:02His eyes held something like banked fire.
09:07Both hands were clenched at his sides, the tendrons standing out, a visible effort at restraint.
09:16Are you sure you want tonight?
09:18If you mean it, then I...
09:21I didn't answer.
09:23I walked to the bed and started taking off my clothes.
09:29The quilt had clearly been aired recently.
09:32Up close, it smelled like warm sunlight.
09:35It was going to be wonderful comfortable to sleep under.
09:38Better than the lumpy, matted thing Edmund kept on their bed.
09:43I was exhausted.
09:45I just wanted this finish so I could sleep.
09:50Lily.
09:51Rowan's breath was hot against the back of my neck.
09:54I looked down at my own waist and found two large, steady hands wrapped around it.
10:05A night with no sleep.
10:07The old wooden bed creaked and groaned through every hour, rattling the wall against its frame.
10:12My knuckles had gone white on the sheets.
10:16My fingers ached at the joints.
10:18My breathing came ragged and uneven.
10:21And my throat felt raw, even trying to draw air.
10:25Rowan's palms burned.
10:27His grip pinned me.
10:29Without effort.
10:31His presence wrapped around me from every direction.
10:38My eyelids were heavy as stone, but there was no space to close them.
10:44Every bone in my body felt taken apart and re-estembled wrong.
10:49The dark at the window faded slowly.
10:52Gray light crept up in the east.
10:54I stared at the patch on the canopy above and understood, disley, that it was morning.
11:01Rowan had gone all night.
11:03This was supposed to be a two-minute thing.
11:06How had it gone all night?
11:08The last thought I had before I lost consciousness.
11:11Men were not all the same.
11:14The difference was enormous.
11:19I was woken by sunlight.
11:21I half opened my eyes, looked at the brightness pouring through the window,
11:26and scrambled upright in a panic.
11:30My legs buckled, and I sat back down on the bed.
11:34I thought about the night before, and couldn't help a short, disgusted sound.
11:43Rowan.
11:44He had the face of a simple, straightforward man.
11:48The reality was apparently far more complicated.
11:52Where had he learned any of that?
11:58I wanted to pull the quilt over my head and stay there.
12:03The door opened, and a shadow filled most of the frame.
12:07I had overslept badly.
12:08You're up.
12:09By the position of the sun, it was well past mid-morning, nearly noon.
12:12I had never heard of a contracted wife sleeping this late.
12:21I'm sorry.
12:22I didn't mean to.
12:22Last night just wore me out.
12:24Please don't be angry.
12:25I'll start the cooking right now.
12:27Rowan looked at me for a long moment with an expression I couldn't name.
12:30Then he sighed.
12:31Eat first.
12:32I noticed then that he was carrying a wooden tray loaded with four or five dishes.
12:36Scrambled eggs with chives, rich and yellow.
12:39Half a stewed chicken, tender and dark golden.
12:42Salt pork with cabbage.
12:43A plate of pickled cucumbers, pale green and bright.
12:46And in front of my place, a bowl of hot rice, piled high enough to overflow.
12:50My God.
12:51A landlord's table didn't look like this.
12:53I hadn't eaten in two days.
12:55My mouth was already watering and my stomach had started to plane.
13:01I grew up the oldest of five girls before my parents finally had a son.
13:05In a house like that, daughters ate last and least.
13:09I had gone a full year without tasting an egg.
13:12After I married Edmund, I found that his family's prosperity was mostly appearance.
13:15His parents ringed out every coin they had to keep him in school.
13:19Edmund got an egg for breakfast each morning to help him study and ate meat twice a month.
13:23I got stale cornbread and pickled scraps.
13:26Right.
13:27Food like this couldn't possibly be for me.
13:31The moment I reached for it, Rowan would call me a greedy, shameless woman and use it as an excuse
13:38to hit me.
13:42Lily.
13:43Rowan's voice sharpened.
13:45Here it was.
13:46Every muscle in my body locked up at once.
13:49Was he going to hit me?
13:51Good.
13:52At least get it over with.
13:53The waiting was worse than anything else.
13:55I paid to contract you.
13:57That means you do what I say.
13:59Doesn't it?
14:01I straightened, trembling, and nodded hard.
14:04Something flickered in his expression.
14:06Pained, but his face stayed firm.
14:09Then I'm ordering you to eat every single thing on that table.
14:11Every bite.
14:12I have some business to take care of.
14:14When you're done, tidy up the house and wait for me.
14:17He turned and took two steps toward the door, then came back and lightly tapped the top of my head.
14:22If you honestly can't finish it, leave it.
14:24Don't make yourself sick.
14:27Then he was gone.
14:28I stood in the middle of the room like I'd been planted there.
14:31The clean, sharp smell he left behind, wood smoke and soap and open air, faded slowly.
14:37The smell of the chicken soup kept moving into the space it left.
14:40I looked at the chicken leg.
14:41I had never eaten one in my life.
14:43Better to die full than die hungry.
14:45Even if this earned me a beating later, a meal like this was worth it.
14:51The eggs were soft and fragrant.
14:54The chicken fell apart at the touch.
14:56Bones tender enough to chew.
14:59The salt pork with the cabbage was rich and savory with a faint sweetness underneath.
15:06Even the small dish of pickled cucumbers was perfectly crisp and clean.
15:11I ate with my head down, one bite at a time, not stopping.
15:18Somewhere in the middle of it, without any reason I could name, I started to cry.
15:31In my parents' house, I had worked myself raw, raised the younger ones, nursed sick grandparents,
15:37done everything asked of me, and I never once saw a piece of meat from it.
15:43In Edmund's house, I rose before light and wove cloth by moonlight, and I never once got an egg for
15:50my trouble.
15:51But here, in this house, the man who had paid money to contract me had made me a chicken leg.
15:58I set down my chopstick slowly, feeling something I couldn't explain.
16:04I had cleaned the table completely.
16:07A full stomach meant there was work to do.
16:11I picked up a rag and a broom and walked out to the yard.
16:17And stopped.
16:19There was nothing to clean.
16:21The flagstones were spotless.
16:24The chicken wee poop had been raked that morning.
16:27Even the weeds in the kitchen barden along the wall had been pulled to the roots.
16:32Rowan, this huge, rough-edged man, was apparently very particular about cleanliness.
16:41Lily?
16:43Lily, you there?
16:44A fist hit the gate hard.
16:46Twice.
16:47I was already heading over to wipe down the doorframe when Edmund poked his head in,
16:52checked that the yard was empty,
16:54and slipped inside, pulling the gate show behind him.
16:59Lily.
17:00You must have had such a hard time.
17:04He'd barely said two words before his eyes went red and his voice broke.
17:08I'm sorry.
17:08I'm so sorry.
17:09Did he hurt you?
17:10Did he...
17:10He was looking at me while he talked.
17:12Looking me over.
17:13I was looking at him, too.
17:15My eyes moved from his pale, fine-featured face down to his waist.
17:19Back at Edmund's house, I had kept a patch of squash in the kitchen garden.
17:24Always strange things, squash.
17:26Came from the same soil, the same row.
17:28And some came out thin as a thumb while others grew thick as a man's arm.
17:32So men were like squash, too.
17:35You... you...
17:36He stopped.
17:37He touched you.
17:38He did, didn't he?
17:40Something in his face shifted.
17:41The guilt curdled into outrage.
17:43I looked down and found my collar open at the neck.
17:46The skin along my collarbone was marked with deep red.
17:49I thought of the night before, and heat rushed to my face.
17:53It had been exhausting.
17:54But the kind of exhausting that left a strange, warm feeling behind.
17:58Sweet and sour together, with something else underneath that I didn't have a name for.
18:02My legs were still unsteady.
18:03How could you let him touch you?
18:05Why didn't you fight?
18:07Why didn't you fight him?
18:08Edmund's voice tore through me.
18:10I looked at him, flailing and stamping, and the face I'd once spent hours glad to look at, became suddenly
18:15repulsive.
18:16Edmund, have you lost your mind?
18:19You knew exactly what a contracted wife was for before you signed those papers.
18:24A contracted wife serves the man of the house.
18:27You sold me to Rowan.
18:28What did you think was going to happen?
18:30I served him well.
18:32Rowan is satisfied.
18:34You should be happy.
18:36With every sentence I spoke, he took one step back.
18:40By the end, he was against the wall with nowhere left to go.
18:44His lips worked for a moment.
18:46He looked at me with the expression of a man who has been deeply wronged.
18:51Lily, why would you say that?
18:52I told you this was a necessary sacrifice for our future.
18:56Why would you degrade yourself like this?
18:58How can you do this to me after everything I've given up for my studies?
19:05I grabbed the feather duster off the hook and went at him with everything I had.
19:09Oh, very noble.
19:11Very fine.
19:13You sold your own wife to another man.
19:15Get out.
19:15Get out of my sight.
19:16I don't want to see your face.
19:19You're out of your mind.
19:21I came here out of the goodness of my heart and you attack me.
19:24The gate slammed.
19:26I leaned against it, chest heaving, a fire burning somewhere behind my ribs.
19:31I knew it had been a mistake to drive him off.
19:33In a year, when the contract ended, I'd go back to being his wife.
19:38Back to that house.
19:39I'd made things worse for my future self.
19:42But I couldn't hold it in any longer.
19:46The fire died down slowly.
19:48I slid down against the gate and sat in the dirt.
19:51My hands were still shaking.
19:53Edmund had stood there, red-eyed and trembling, calling himself wronged, saying I had degraded
19:59myself, asking how I could do this to him.
20:02He had sold me, like a piece of furniture, and then he came here to stand in another man's
20:08yard and tell me I owed him something.
20:10I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.
20:13A year.
20:14I had to get through one year, then go back.
20:18Back to the cornbread and the pickled scraps.
20:21Back to his mother's complaints about my empty womb.
20:25Back to his father's resentment.
20:28Back to Edmund's sighing that I couldn't discuss literature with him.
20:32I sat there until the shaking stopped.
20:37Then I got up, went inside, and started on the mending.
20:46Rowan came home before dark.
20:49He stopped in the doorway and looked at the clean room, the swept yard, the pot warming on
20:55the stove.
20:57Something in his face softened.
21:01You didn't have to do all this.
21:05I wanted to, and I meant it.
21:08He sat down at the table and we ate together.
21:11He told me about the hills, the trails, the animals he tracked.
21:17His voice was plain and easy.
21:20He didn't perform, didn't try to impress.
21:29After supper, he washed the bowls himself, and wouldn't let me take over.
21:34That night, he was gentle with me.
21:38Careful in a way I hadn't expected.
21:41And wouldn't have asked for.
21:46I lay awake afterward in the dark, listening to his steady breathing beside me.
21:51I didn't understand this man at all.
21:56The days settled into a shape.
21:58Rowan went out early, sometimes before I woke.
22:02I kept the house and the yard.
22:04He came back in the evenings with game or herbs, or sometimes just his empty hands and a tired,
22:10honest face.
22:13He never raised his voice at me.
22:15Never found fault with the meals or the cleaning.
22:19Never made me feel like a burden he was tolerating.
22:23He asked me things.
22:25Not testing questions with correct answers.
22:28Real questions.
22:30What I liked.
22:31What I remembered from growing up.
22:33Whether I was warm enough at night.
22:35I started answering him like I meant it.
22:38One morning I found a bundle of wildflowers left on the table.
22:43No explanation.
22:45Just the flowers.
22:46I put them in a jar and said nothing.
22:49But I kept looking at them all day.
22:52The village didn't leave us alone entirely.
22:54People found reasons to pass the gate.
22:56Glances over the fence.
22:58Whispers when I went to the well.
23:00A contracted wife living well.
23:02That was interesting enough to watch.
23:04Some of the women were kind to me.
23:06Some weren't.
23:07Clara came to see me.
23:09We sat in the yard with a pot of tea between us.
23:11And she held my hands and looked at my face for a long time.
23:14You look different.
23:15She said.
23:17Different how?
23:18She thought about it.
23:20Less afraid.
23:22I didn't say anything to that.
23:24She told me how things were for her now.
23:26In that household.
23:27I listened.
23:28I didn't cry this time.
23:29But my chest was tight for a long time after she left.
23:33Edmund came back.
23:34Not crashing in through the gate this time.
23:36He stood outside it.
23:38In the lane.
23:39And called my name.
23:40Quiet.
23:40Almost careful.
23:42I opened the gate and looked at him.
23:44He had lost weight.
23:46His scholar's hands were dirty at the nails.
23:49I want to apologize.
23:51What for?
23:55For what I said.
23:57Last time.
24:01You should go.
24:03Lily!
24:04Edmund!
24:05He stood there a moment longer.
24:07Then he turned and walked away.
24:09I closed the gate and went back to the yard.
24:13The tightness in my chest didn't come this time.
24:16Word reached me a few weeks later through one of the village women.
24:20Edmund had told people in town that I had gone eagerly to Rowan's house.
24:24That I had wanted to go.
24:26That the contract had been my idea.
24:29A scholar's rotation.
24:31That was what it came down to.
24:34He couldn't be the man who had sold his wife.
24:37So I had to be the wife who had sold herself.
24:43I was drawing water at the well when I heard two women talking on the other side of the fence.
24:47Not even ashamed of herself.
24:49Walking around like she belongs there.
24:51They didn't know I was there.
24:52Well, some women are just built for that kind of life, aren't they?
24:56I set the bucket down.
24:57I stood very still for a moment.
24:59Then I picked up the bucket and went home.
25:01Rowan wasn't back yet.
25:03The house was quiet in the way a house is quiet.
25:07When it belongs only to itself.
25:11I thought about what Edmund had told people.
25:14I thought about my parents' voices saying they had no such daughter.
25:19I thought about how it felt to be sold and then blamed for being sold.
25:24I sat down on the step and I cried.
25:27Not in front of anyone.
25:29Just by myself.
25:30On the step.
25:32Until I was done.
25:34Then I wiped my face and went inside to start supper.
25:36When Rowan came home, I was at the stove.
25:39He walked in.
25:40Stopped.
25:40Looked at my face.
25:42Who upset you?
25:43No one.
25:43I said.
25:44He didn't push.
25:45He just came and stood beside me and watched the pot for a while.
25:48That was enough.
25:51Rowan still wasn't back yet.
25:53The house sat empty and hollow around me like that same hollow place in my chest.
25:58My heart had already died the day Edmund sold me.
26:00I had known that.
26:02But a small stubborn piece of it had kept on wanting things it had no right to want.
26:06That day, looking at Edmund's face and seeing the self-interest dressed up as feeling,
26:12that piece finally let go.
26:14I wiped my eyes.
26:16I was tired.
26:18Kind of tired that lives in the bones.
26:20I wanted to sleep for a long time.
26:22Lily!
26:22What happened?
26:23Who did this to you?
26:24Rowan was back.
26:25He came through the door still cold from outside,
26:28dropped everything at his feet,
26:29and crossed the room to me in a few steps.
26:31He held me at arm's length and looked me over,
26:34front and back,
26:34lifted me slightly off the ground and turned me around once.
26:37Did you fall?
26:38Are you hurt?
26:39Where does it hurt?
26:40Show me.
26:41We're going to the doctor!
26:43Right now!
26:45I shook my head.
26:46I stepped forward and put my arms around his waist and held on.
26:50Rowan went completely still.
26:52Every muscle in his body tensed.
26:54He stopped breathing.
26:56I pressed my face against his chest and love his heart beat fast and hard.
27:02Rowan,
27:03I don't want to go back to Edmund's house.
27:08That night he didn't touch me.
27:09He heated a full pot of water and let me soak in a long hot bath.
27:14Afterward he held me the way you hold someone who is tired,
27:16and he sang to me.
27:18Badly.
27:18He was clearly making up the tune as he went,
27:21but he kept going until I fell asleep.
27:23When I woke in the morning,
27:24the yard was already swept and something warm was waiting on the stove.
27:28Rowan was in the yard,
27:29shirtless despite the cold,
27:31splitting wood with great cheerful enthusiasm.
27:33He saw me come out and grinned.
27:35Did I wake you?
27:36I figured you'd be up by now.
27:38He was going back into the hills for five days.
27:41He wanted to earn more money.
27:43He wanted things to be comfortable for me.
27:45The morning he left,
27:47he made a pot of broth that would last,
27:49told me to eat on schedule and not go looking for trouble.
27:51I nodded.
27:53I watched him shoulder his rifle and walk out into the early mist,
27:57and I felt something I didn't want to examine too closely.
28:02Those five days I swept the yard every morning
28:04and kept a plate warm on the stove each evening.
28:07On the fifth day,
28:08at dusk,
28:09with the sky burning orange and red along the ridge,
28:11his shape appeared at the far end of the lane.
28:13He was walking fast.
28:15His face was lit up.
28:17His game bag was full and heavy.
28:20Lily, I'm home!
28:21He'd barely made it through the gate
28:22before he set the bag down and came toward me,
28:25eyes bright.
28:26I stepped forward to help him with the rifle,
28:28but he caught my hands.
28:30Hold on.
28:31I brought you something.
28:33He crouched down and opened the bag
28:34the way you'd open something that might break.
28:36Slowly, gently, with both hands.
28:39At the mouth of the bag,
28:40two white shapes appeared.
28:41Long necks,
28:43faint golden markings,
28:45soft as winter light.
28:46A pair of fesses.
28:49White ones.
28:51Rare enough that most people lived and died without seeing one.
28:56Are those white fesses?
29:01My eyes went wide.
29:02White pheasants were considered a lucky omen.
29:05Some people said they appeared only once in a generation.
29:08Rowan nodded,
29:09stroking the feathers with one finger,
29:11voice gentle.
29:11Found them deep in the back country.
29:13Took two days of waiting to catch them,
29:15not a feather out of place.
29:16News moved fast.
29:18By the next morning,
29:19the whole settlement knew about the birds.
29:20A crowd had gathered at the gate,
29:22everyone up on their T's trying to see over,
29:25voices tumbling over each other.
29:26Lord above,
29:27they're real.
29:28Just like the old people used to describe.
29:30That's a genuine lucky omen.
29:31You know what those are worth to the county magistrate?
29:34At least a hundred dollars as a gift.
29:37Rowan's made his fortune.
29:39A hundred dollars!
29:41That's a regular family's whole lifetime!
29:43Someone pressed forward to tell Rowan,
29:45with a face full of flattering,
29:46that gifting them to the magistrate
29:47might get him a proper appointment somewhere.
29:49Rowan gave them a flat look and said nothing.
29:51He turned and carried the cage
29:53to the shaded corner of the yard,
29:55set it down,
29:56filled a small dish with millet
29:57and water for the birds.
29:59Don't listen to them.
30:01Once I've made the arrangements,
30:03I'll take them to town.
30:05I know someone reliable there
30:07who can get them to the county seat safely.
30:08I watched his serious face
30:11and felt something warm move through my chest.
30:13I nodded.
30:14I thought that was settled.
30:16I was wrong.
30:17That same afternoon,
30:19urgent fists hit the gate,
30:20and with it came a sound
30:21that made my stomach drop.
30:23Mrs. Hartley's voice,
30:24sharp as wire.
30:27Lily!
30:28Open up!
30:30Open this gate, Royal!
30:36Rowan read my face
30:37and put a hand on my shoulder.
30:39I'll get it.
30:39You stay inside.
30:41Don't let her get under your skin.
30:43I shook my head
30:44and took his hand off.
30:45I'll go.
30:46It was always going to come to this.
30:48Mrs. Hartley stood in the lane
30:49with the deliberate look
30:50of someone who has decided
30:51she has owed something.
30:52A few curious neighbors
30:54had already gathered behind her.
30:55Her eyes went past me
30:56the moment I opened the gate.
30:58Straight to the corner of the yard,
30:59straight to the cage.
31:00Something lit up in her face
31:01that I didn't like at all.
31:02There it is.
31:03She pushed past me
31:04and walked directly to the cage,
31:07craning her neck
31:07to look at the birds inside.
31:09The hunger in her expression
31:10kept getting bigger.
31:11Rowan stepped in front of her,
31:13jaw set, voice cool.
31:14Mrs. Hartley,
31:16what brings you to my house?
31:18She turned,
31:19gave him a brief glance,
31:20and spoke with the confidence
31:21of someone stating an obvious fact.
31:23Lily is my son's wife.
31:25She's been contracted to you for a year,
31:26but she's still an Edmund Hartley
31:28family woman at the end of it.
31:29Whatever comes to her
31:30while she's in your house
31:31belongs to us.
31:33I heard that
31:34and felt the heat rise in my face.
31:37That is the most outrageous thing
31:39I've ever heard.
31:40I was contracted to Rowan.
31:42These birds are his.
31:43He caught them.
31:45Your family has nothing to do
31:47with any of it.
31:48Her expression went through
31:50two or three colors,
31:51and then she launched
31:53into her speech.
31:55Edmund had sacrificed everything.
31:57The family had given up
31:59everything for his studies.
32:01Contracting me out
32:02had been done for our future,
32:03for my benefit,
32:04so I could one day
32:05be a scholar's wife.
32:07And now here I was
32:08living comfortably
32:09in another man's house
32:10and refusing to acknowledge
32:11what I owed.
32:13The white phayuses
32:14were a lucky omen.
32:16If Edmund presented them
32:17to the county magistrate
32:18as a gift,
32:19the magistrate might be
32:20so pleased that he'd approve
32:22Edmund's credentials by hand.
32:23Edmund would pass.
32:25I would return to the Hartley household
32:26as a scholar's wife.
32:28Wasn't that better
32:29than staying with a trapper?
32:33The more she talked,
32:35the less any of it
32:36resembled reality.
32:38The neighbors were murmuring now.
32:40The glances aimed at me
32:41had turned strange.
32:43I looked at her shameless face
32:44and felt sick.
32:47No.
32:48The birds are Rowan's.
32:49I won't give them to you.
32:51Get off this property.
32:52If you don't leave,
32:53I'll have At Rowan remove you.
32:55She saw my face
32:56and saw Rowan's expression,
32:57which had gone dark and still,
32:59and something in her flinched.
33:01But she didn't back down.
33:03Don't push your luck, Lily.
33:05If you won't hand over those birds,
33:07I will go down on my knees
33:08right here in this yard
33:09and let every neighbor
33:10in this settlement
33:11watch you turn away
33:12your own husband's mother.
33:14Let them all see
33:15what kind of woman you are.
33:18Rowan moved first.
33:19He stepped forward
33:21and blocked her.
33:21His voice dropped
33:22to something close to freezing.
33:24Mrs. Hartley,
33:25I strongly suggest you leave.
33:27This is my yard,
33:29not your stage.
33:30If you don't go now,
33:31you won't like what happens next.
33:33He was a full head taller than her
33:34and built like a man
33:35who had spent his life
33:36in the hills.
33:37The force of him standing there,
33:38quiet and certain,
33:39went through her
33:40like a cold draft.
33:41She straightened up,
33:42shot me a look
33:43full of venom.
33:44Fine,
33:44you two of you.
33:45Don't think this is over.
33:47We'll see how this ends.
33:48She turned and marched out.
33:50The neighbors drifted after her,
33:51most of them stealing
33:52one last look at the cage
33:53before they went.
33:55I watched her go
33:56and let out a long breath.
33:57The anger was still sitting
33:59in my chest.
34:00Rowan came up beside me
34:02and ruffled my hair lightly.
34:03Don't let it in.
34:04She's making noise.
34:06She can't actually do anything.
34:08I leaned slightly toward him.
34:11I'm not worried about the noise.
34:12I'm worried she'll go
34:13after the birds.
34:14He was quiet a moment.
34:17You're right.
34:18Leaving them here overnight
34:20is a risk.
34:21I'm going into town now.
34:23I have someone I trust
34:24who can get word
34:25to the county seat.
34:26Have him send someone official
34:27to collect the birds.
34:29That's the safest way.
34:34I grabbed his arm.
34:36Just take them with you.
34:38I don't like them sitting here.
34:39No.
34:40These birds are fragile.
34:42The road to the county settle
34:43is rough.
34:44I don't want anything
34:45to happen to them on the way.
34:47If the magistrate's office
34:48sends a proper escort,
34:50that's safer for everyone.
34:51He paused,
34:52then added,
34:53After I leave,
34:55lock the front gate.
34:56Lock the inside door too.
34:57Whatever you hear outside,
34:59don't come out until I'm back.
35:00I won't be long.
35:02I looked at his worried face
35:04and nodded.
35:06I know.
35:07Be careful out there.
35:11He pulled me in briefly,
35:13held on for a second,
35:14then walked out fast.
35:16I followed him to the gate
35:17and watched his shape
35:18disappear into the evening dark.
35:20Then I shut the gate,
35:22slide the bolt across,
35:23and checked it twice.
35:24The yard was quiet,
35:25just wind in the leaves.
35:27The night came in fast.
35:28The moon went behind clouds
35:30and took the last of the light with it.
35:31I sat inside with my needlework,
35:33trying to keep my hands busy.
35:36It didn't help.
35:37I kept pricking my fingers.
35:40Small beads of blood
35:41dotted the cloth.
35:42After a while,
35:43something moved
35:44on the other side of the wall.
35:45Faint,
35:46like someone testing their footing.
35:48I set the needlework down,
35:50stopped breathing,
35:51listened,
35:52a soft thut.
35:53Someone landing in the yard,
35:55then careful footsteps
35:56on the flagstones.
36:01I was on my feet
36:02before I'd made a decision.
36:03I went for the door.
36:04Then I heard the voices.
36:06Move fast.
36:08Quiet.
36:08Don't wake that little rat.
36:10She's asleep by now, Ma.
36:12Let's just grab the cage and go.
36:14Edmund,
36:14get the lash open.
36:15Be careful,
36:16don't spook the birds.
36:17These are our ticket
36:18out of all this.
36:21I threw the door open.
36:23Stop.
36:23Stop right there.
36:26All three of them spun around.
36:28For one moment,
36:29something like guilt
36:30crossed their faces.
36:31Then it cleared,
36:32and they looked at me
36:33like I was an inconvenience
36:34to be moved.
36:35Mrs. Hartley put her hands
36:36on her hips.
36:37We're taking those birds tonight,
36:39and you are not gonna stop us.
36:41Keep out of our way
36:43if you know what's good for you.
36:44Edmund stood to the side,
36:46but the careful,
36:46softly spoken scholar was gone.
36:48What was left was flat and cold.
36:50Lily,
36:50be reasonable.
36:51These birds can change
36:52everything for me.
36:53That's good for you, too.
36:55Let us take them.
36:55When I've passed
36:56and earned my credentials,
36:57I'll bring you home.
36:58I won't contract you out again.
36:59You have my word.
37:01I laughed.
37:04Your word.
37:05I walked forward
37:05and planted myself
37:06in front of the cage
37:07and didn't move.
37:08Edmund's father
37:09came at me first.
37:10He grabbed my arm
37:11and threw me sideways hard.
37:12I stumbled back
37:14and hit the wall.
37:15The air went out of me.
37:17Stop wasting time.
37:18Tie her up.
37:19Let's go.
37:19Edmund spoke
37:20without looking at me.
37:22Mrs. Hartley
37:22stepped forward
37:23and hit me across the face.
37:25Open harm
37:25as hard as she could.
37:27The crack of it
37:27was sharp in the cold air.
37:29My cheek lit up with heat
37:30and I tasted blood
37:31at the corner of my mouth.
37:33You ungrateful little wretch.
37:34You dare stand in our way?
37:36I will teach you
37:37exactly who you belong to.
37:39She kept hitting.
37:40His father joined in.
37:41I fought back
37:42with everything I had
37:43which wasn't much
37:44against three adults.
37:45I went down.
37:46My arms burned.
37:47My legs hurt.
37:48My face was wet.
37:49I wasn't crying
37:50because of the pain.
37:51I was crying
37:52because of the cold truth of it.
37:57Edmund crouched down
37:58and grabbed my hair
37:59forcing my head up.
38:00His face above mine
38:01was stripped of everything
38:02I had once mistaken
38:03for feeling.
38:04Just contempt
38:04and something greedier underneath.
38:06Lily,
38:07you really are pathetic.
38:08Rowan is a trapper
38:09in the dirt
38:10defending his property
38:11than stand on your own two feet.
38:13You'd rather be his contracted woman
38:15than be my wife.
38:16Let me tell you something.
38:17Whatever you think you are here
38:18you're still just a contract.
38:19A year's agreement.
38:21You'll never be anything more.
38:23But I will be someone.
38:24I will be respected.
38:26And when that day comes
38:27even if you beg me on your knees
38:29I won't want you anymore.
38:30Not a woman without a shred
38:32of loyalty or virtue.
38:33I looked at his face
38:35and felt nothing but nausea.
38:37I gathered what I had left
38:39and bit into his forearm
38:41with everything I had.
38:43Edmund screamed
38:44and kicked me away.
38:45She bit me!
38:47The woman's feral!
38:49Mrs. Hartley pulled him back.
38:53Forget her.
38:54Let's take the cage
38:56and go before Rowan comes back.
39:03They grabbed the cage
39:04and ran.
39:06I lay on the cold stone
39:07and stared at the sky.
39:09Rowan had spent two days
39:10in the hills
39:10waiting for those birds.
39:12Not a feather out of place
39:13he'd said.
39:14I hadn't been able
39:15to protect them.
39:16The gray of pre-dawn
39:17was starting at the edge
39:18of the sky
39:18when the gate swung open
39:19and Rowan came in fast.
39:21A uniformed officer
39:22of the county court
39:23right behind him.
39:23He saw me on the ground.
39:25He stopped being calm
39:27entirely.
39:29Lily.
39:30Lily, are you hurt?
39:34The officer looked
39:35around the yard
39:36and frowned.
39:37Looks like you had
39:38a break-in, friend.
39:43Rowan saw me settled
39:45and went straight
39:46to the Hartley house
39:47with the officer
39:48behind him.
39:49The Hartleys
39:50had brought the birds
39:51home and put them
39:52in the cage,
39:53fed them water
39:54and leftover scraps.
39:55By morning,
39:56both birds were dead.
39:58I found out later
39:59that this was something
40:00At-Rowie had known
40:01would happen.
40:02White pheasants
40:03were high-strung creatures.
40:05Captured and put
40:06in a strange place
40:07without the right conditions,
40:08they would simply
40:09die of distress.
40:11The officer's patience
40:12ran out completely.
40:14He clapped all three
40:16Hartleys and irons
40:17and brought them,
40:19dead birds and all,
40:20back to the county courthouse.
40:23The magistrate
40:25had already sent word
40:26ahead to the regional
40:27governor's office.
40:29He had been waiting
40:30for that gift.
40:31What arrived instead
40:33was two dead pheasants
40:34in a family of thieves.
40:36He was so furious
40:38he could barely speak.
40:39He ordered 50 slashes
40:41apiece.
40:41When he learned Edmund
40:43had been studying
40:43for the licensing's exams
40:45he added a permanent ban.
40:47Edmund Hartley
40:48would never sit
40:48for another qualifying exam
40:50as long as he lived.
40:51All three came back
40:52unable to walk.
40:53Mrs. Hartley's health
40:55was already poor.
40:56The punishment
40:57broke something in her
40:58that didn't come back.
40:59She went home
41:00with a fever that climbed
41:01and wouldn't break,
41:02barely conscious.
41:03His father took to his bed
41:05and couldn't feed himself.
41:06Edmund sat in the yard
41:07all day with the look
41:08of a man who's
41:09somewhere else entirely,
41:10muttering,
41:11The exams.
41:12My exams.
41:13I can't sit
41:14for the exams anymore.
41:15His hair went grey
41:16at the temples
41:16almost overnight.
41:18He aged 10 years
41:18in the week.
41:19Everything he had
41:20worked toward
41:21was gone.
41:22Every plan,
41:23every sacrifice
41:24he had justified
41:25to himself and to me.
41:27The exams
41:28had been the only thing
41:29and now they were
41:30taken away
41:30and he had nothing
41:31left inside
41:32to hold himself up with.
41:33No money for a doctor.
41:35No money for medicine.
41:37Mrs. Hartley's fever
41:38kept climbing.
41:40Edmund had nowhere
41:40left to turn.
41:41So he came to me.
41:43That afternoon
41:44he dragged himself
41:45to Roway's gate,
41:46knelt in the dirt,
41:47and knocked.
41:52Lily!
41:52Lily, please!
41:54Open the door!
41:55He was filthy.
41:56His face was streaked
41:57with dust and dried blood
41:59and he looked
42:0010 years older
42:00than the man
42:01I'd married.
42:02He pressed his forehead
42:04to the ground
42:04when he saw me.
42:07Please.
42:08I'm begging you.
42:11My mother
42:12is going to die.
42:13The fever won't break
42:15and we have no money
42:16for a doctor.
42:18Please lend me
42:19what you can.
42:21I will repay you.
42:22I swear I will repay you.
42:24He kept bowing.
42:25Tears and snot
42:26ran down his face together.
42:29There was nothing
42:30dignified left
42:31in him at all.
42:34I looked at him.
42:36Do you actually think
42:37I'd help you?
42:40You sold me.
42:45You stood in this yard
42:46and held my hair
42:49and told me
42:50I was nothing.
42:52You let your parents
42:53beat me
42:56and then you stole
42:57from the man
42:57who housed
42:58and fed me.
43:02What happens
43:03to your mother
43:04has nothing
43:04to do with me.
43:05I turned
43:06toward the gate.
43:07He lunged forward
43:09and grabbed
43:09the hem of my coat.
43:12Lily.
43:13Please.
43:15I know
43:16I was wrong.
43:17I know it.
43:18I'll do anything.
43:20I'll give up
43:21the exams
43:21forever.
43:23I'll work
43:24with my hands.
43:25I'll take care
43:26of you properly.
43:29Just please.
43:30Please help
43:31my mother.
43:33Rowan appeared
43:34beside me.
43:35He reached down
43:36and detached
43:37Edmund's grip.
43:38Voice empty
43:39of warmth.
43:43Edmund.
43:45Don't do this
43:46to her again.
43:48She's not
43:49going to help you.
43:50You brought
43:51this on yourselves.
43:52Go home.
43:53Edmund looked up
43:54at Rowan's face
43:55and then at mine
43:57and understood
43:58that it was over.
44:00He let go.
44:01He sat back
44:02on his heels
44:03in the lane
44:03and stared at nothing.
44:06It's all gone.
44:07He said
44:08to no one.
44:11Everything's gone.
44:15He tried anyway.
44:17He went door to door
44:18in the settlement
44:19asking to borrow money
44:21for his mother's doctor.
44:24No one gave him anything.
44:28Everyone knew
44:29what the Hartley family
44:30had done.
44:30His father lay in bed
44:32full of grievances
44:32and self-pity.
44:34Useless.
44:35His mother burned
44:36with fever
44:37drifting in and out
44:38of sense
44:39muttering about
44:40pheasances
44:40and credentials
44:41and all the things
44:43she was still owed
44:44by a world
44:44that had stopped listening.
44:46She wasn't ready to die.
44:47She'd never had
44:48her good years.
44:49She was still waiting
44:51to see Edmund
44:51become someone important.
44:54When it became clear
44:55that neither Edmund
44:56nor his father
44:57could get money
44:57for her treatment
44:59she acted on her own.
45:01She sent word
45:01through a distant relative
45:02to a moneylender in town
45:03borrowed a sum
45:05in her own name
45:05without telling
45:06either of them.
45:07She thought it was simple.
45:09Get the money
45:10see the doctor
45:10then find a way
45:11to catch another pair
45:12of rare birds
45:12for the magistrate
45:13get Edmund his credentials
45:14and pay it all back slowly.
45:16She did not understand
45:17how moneyletting worked.
45:19The debt doubled in days
45:21then doubled again.
45:23Her fever improved slightly.
45:25The loanders came to collect.
45:27She did not understand
45:28how moneyletting worked.
45:30The debt doubled in days
45:31then doubled again.
45:33Her fever improved slightly.
45:36The lenders came to collect.
45:38Three large men
45:39walked into the Hartley yard
45:40one afternoon.
45:41Edmund and his father
45:42shook and begged
45:43for more time.
45:45The men were not
45:46interested in more time.
45:48Edmund's righting hand
45:50was broken.
45:51His father's leg
45:51was broken.
45:52They lay on the ground
45:53and screamed.
45:54Mrs. Hartley sat on the ground
45:56beside them and wept
45:57and no one paid her
45:57any attention.
45:59The lenders took everything
46:00that could be sold
46:01or carried
46:01to settle what they were owed.
46:03The deed to the house.
46:04The furniture.
46:05All of it.
46:09When the lenders left
46:11there was nothing.
46:12Edmund and his father
46:13lay injured
46:13and couldn't move.
46:14Mrs. Hartley's mind
46:15had cracked somewhere
46:16under the weight of it.
46:17She sat in the empty yard
46:18for hours
46:19saying nothing.
46:19They had nowhere to go.
46:21They gathered a few
46:22rags of clothing
46:23and moved into the
46:23derelict chapel
46:24at the edge of the settlement.
46:26The place had gaps
46:27in the walls
46:28and a roof that leaked.
46:29No food.
46:30No blankets.
46:31They survived
46:31on whatever they could
46:32beg from passersby.
46:33Edmund had come undone
46:34completely.
46:35His writing hand
46:36was broken.
46:37He couldn't hold a pen.
46:38He couldn't sit for exams.
46:40He couldn't do the one thing
46:41he had organized
46:42his entire life around.
46:44He sat in the corner
46:45of the chapel
46:45and rocked slightly
46:47and said the same things
46:48over and over.
46:49My hand.
46:50My exams.
46:52I shouldn't have been greedy.
46:54I shouldn't have contracted
46:54Lily out.
46:56When Rowe heard
46:57what had happened
46:58he took three dollars
46:59went to find
47:00the Hartleys
47:01and bought a legal
47:03divorce document
47:03from Edmund on the spot.
47:06He came home
47:07and put the paper
47:08in my hands.
47:09His face had that
47:11open, lit up look
47:12it sometimes got.
47:14Lily.
47:16You're a free woman.
47:18Then he seemed
47:19to make a decision.
47:21He took my hand
47:22and held it
47:23and his eyes
47:24were completely steady.
47:27Lily.
47:28Will you marry me?
47:30Not a contract.
47:31A real marriage.
47:33You and me.
47:34For the rest of our lives.
47:36I looked at him.
47:37This man
47:38who had cut
47:38winter blossoms
47:39in the dark hills
47:40and dragged them home
47:41for a woman
47:42he didn't know yet.
47:43who had ordered me
47:44to eat until I was full
47:46and then pretended
47:47it was a command.
47:48Who had held me
47:49while I cried
47:50about someone else
47:51and asked nothing
47:52in return.
47:53My eyes were filling.
47:56Yes.
48:02Rowan threw himself
48:03into the wedding preparations
48:04the way he did everything.
48:07Completely and with
48:08great enthusiasm.
48:10He spent everything
48:11he'd saved
48:12from years of trapping
48:13and hunting.
48:14Fabric, ribbon,
48:15food, decorations.
48:17He got half the settlement
48:18to come help
48:18and transform the yard
48:19entirely.
48:20Red lanterns everywhere.
48:21Paper decorations
48:22on every window.
48:23The smell of good food
48:24and wood smoke
48:25in the air.
48:25A hundred times more festive
48:27than the thin quick ceremony
48:28Eden had given me.
48:29On the day itself
48:30the yard was full of people
48:31and noise and warmth.
48:33Half the settlement
48:33came to celebrate.
48:34I wore the red dress
48:35Rowan had bought me.
48:37Silver pins in my hair.
48:38Bracelets at my wrists.
48:39A little color in my cheeks.
48:41Standing beside him
48:42I felt something
48:43I hadn't expected
48:43to feel again.
48:44Happy.
48:45Simply,
48:46cleanly happy.
48:47Rowan wore a new
48:48rough cloth wedding shirt
48:49and looked like himself.
48:51Big and solid
48:51and sincere.
48:52He looked at me
48:53the whole time
48:54with a softness in his face
48:55that he didn't seem
48:56to know how to hide.
48:57We made our vows.
48:58In the middle of the ceremony
49:00a commotion started
49:01at the gate.
49:02The Hartley family had come.
49:05Uninvited.
49:06Unwelcome.
49:07They had come to eat
49:08someone else's wedding food.
49:09Edmund leaned on a crutch
49:10his broken hand
49:11hanging in a sling.
49:12His face was gray and hollow.
49:14His father was being
49:15helped along by someone.
49:16His broken leg
49:17wrapped and dragging.
49:18Mrs. Hartley shuttled
49:19behind them
49:19vacant eyed.
49:20Dressed in dirty rags.
49:22Everything about her
49:22at odds with the red
49:23and gold around her.
49:24The guests who saw them
49:25first went quiet.
49:27Then the whispers started.
49:29Uninv.
49:29Their own family in ruins
49:31and they come here
49:31to eat off Rowan's table.
49:32After everything
49:33they did to it, Lily.
49:34Have they no shame at all?
49:35Rowan's jaw tightened
49:37but he said nothing.
49:39He didn't send them away.
49:42The Hartleads found a spot
49:44and sat down
49:45and they ate.
49:46Quickly without looking up
49:47like people who had forgotten
49:48what it felt like
49:49to have enough.
49:50Edmund drank.
49:51One cup and then
49:52another and another
49:53until he was past
49:54the point of knowing
49:55where he was.
49:56He raised his head
49:57and found my face
49:58across the yard
50:00and Rowan's beside mine.
50:06And something wrecked
50:07and lost
50:07moved through his expression.
50:10He started talking
50:12loud enough
50:13for the people
50:13near him to hear.
50:15Lily.
50:16Lily, I was wrong.
50:18I know I was wrong.
50:19I shouldn't have contracted
50:21you out.
50:22I shouldn't have hit you.
50:24I shouldn't have said
50:25those things.
50:26Rowan, I'm jealous of you.
50:28I'm jealous you can give her
50:29what I couldn't.
50:30My exams.
50:32My hand.
50:33My house.
50:34My Lily.
50:36All of it's gone.
50:39All of it.
50:40The guests went quiet
50:42around him.
50:43Some looked away.
50:45No one argued with him
50:46and no one comforted him either.
50:50When the evening was over
50:51the dark had fully come in.
50:53A cool wind moved
50:54through the lane.
50:56Edmund refused
50:56his father's
50:57and mother's hands.
50:58He was going back
50:59to the chapel
51:00on his own, he said.
51:01He walked out
51:02into the dark
51:02still muttering my name.
51:05Feet stumbling.
51:06Listing from side to side.
51:08The river at the edge
51:09of the settlement
51:10was running high
51:11that time of year.
51:12Spring floods.
51:14Fast water.
51:17Edmund couldn't see
51:18where he was going.
51:20At the bank
51:21his foot slipped.
51:23He went into the water.
51:27One arm broken
51:28he couldn't fight the current.
51:30The river took him.
51:31A few weak sounds
51:32and then only
51:33the roar of the water.
51:35The next morning
51:37someone found him
51:38downstream on the gravel bank.
51:40Soaked through.
51:42face a terrible colour.
51:44His expression
51:45still carrying
51:46the outrage of a man
51:47who had died
51:48believing he was owed better.
51:52Nobody cried for long.
51:59He had done this
52:00to himself.
52:06When the news
52:07reached Mrs. Hartley
52:08what was left
52:09of her mind
52:09let go.
52:10She wandered
52:11the settlement
52:12for days
52:12hair loose
52:13calling Edmund's name
52:15and asking strangers
52:16when her son
52:16was going to pass
52:17his exams.
52:18His father
52:19was already
52:19bedridden
52:20from his injuries.
52:21When he heard
52:22his son was drowned
52:23and his wife
52:23had lost her mind
52:24he couldn't take
52:25the weight of it.
52:26He stopped breathing
52:27there in the chapel
52:28in the dark
52:29alone.
52:30They said his last words
52:31were some version
52:32of I should not have.
52:33Nobody came forward
52:34to bury either of them.
52:36In the end
52:36it was the village elder
52:37who organized
52:38a collection.
52:40Enough to dig
52:40two simple graves
52:41on a bit of unused
52:42ground
52:43at the edge
52:43of the fields.
52:44Mrs. Hartley
52:45was last seen
52:46walking out
52:46toward the hills.
52:47No one knew
52:48where she went.
52:49A charitable traveler
52:51may have taken her in.
52:52She may have died
52:53somewhere far
52:54from anyone
52:55who knew her name.
52:56There was no word
52:57either way.
52:58After the Hartley
52:59family was gone
53:00there was nothing
53:00left connecting me
53:01to that old life.
53:03Rowan still went
53:04into the hills
53:04every morning.
53:05He still came back
53:06every evening.
53:07He never failed
53:08to bring something.
53:09Wild berries
53:09or a spray
53:10of something flowering
53:11just because he thought
53:12I might like it.
53:13Before long
53:14I was pregnant.
53:15Rowan became someone
53:16I had not fully seen before.
53:18Careful, attentive,
53:19refusing to let me lift
53:20anything heavier
53:21than a cup.
53:22He would come home
53:23from a day's hunting
53:24and sit beside me
53:24in the evening
53:25with one hand
53:25resting on my stomach.
53:26Just there.
53:27Just present.
53:28We kept to our small yard
53:30and our small house
53:31and our small life.
53:33Three meals a day.
53:35Four seasons turning.
53:37Steady and warm.
53:38All the way through.
53:41McLaren coming down.Ω
53:42West
53:42New Miss
53:42Miss
53:42Miss
53:42Miss
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