00:05during those days when i was secretly crushing on the football team captain silas i was starving
00:10myself to lose weight that day in p.e i nearly passed out from hunger silas grabbed my hand
00:17no room for argument and took me to eat can you stop fucking starving yourself if anyone ever
00:24makes fun of your body again i'll end them got it from that day on i thought silas liked me
00:30too
00:30so i confessed my feelings to him i like you oh my god everyone listen up alara you fat pig
00:40who did
00:40you just say you like silas his voice deliberately kept to a whisper silas hey you've rejected so
00:50many girls confessions turns out this is your type i'm dead
01:00i want to know what made you think you could confess to me don't you think you're a disgusting
01:10hey fatso you think i'm blind growing up i'd been mocked for my body in every way imaginable
01:18until silas became my seatmate the way he looked at me held no judgment come on just
01:23admit you ate the whole cafeteria that's why you're like this right nah she can't even talk
01:27probably too busy thinking about her next meal that's enough whatever it was just a joke don't
01:32be so serious if they give you trouble again come find me but today he dumped a bucket of ice
01:39water
01:40over my head turns out i was never the exception before the bell rang silas rubbed the bridge of his
01:45nose and walked out of the classroom he never came back the next morning during study hall his
01:49friend came over to move his desk to a different seat sila got so upset yesterday he literally threw
01:54up he's taking three days off he asked me to switch his seat for him
02:01it's got nothing to do with you don't overthink it why was i so hated i looked down at my
02:06fingers
02:07flesh pressing against flesh and decided to never play princess again three days later silas came back
02:14to class with his arm around diane's waist diane was the cheer captain every guy's dream girl
02:23silas finally got a girlfriend huh what's that supposed to mean do i look like the kind of girl
02:29who just let anyone put their arm around me
02:36they kept my head down staring at my workbook quietly loosening my grip on my pen at least no
02:43one cared about what happened that day anymore no one bothered to laugh at me now for a long time
02:48after that silas and i had zero interaction mrs williams said my essays read like garbage told me
02:56to learn how to write from you so starting today you're my free tutor it took me a few seconds
03:00to
03:00process i had a seatmate again this is how i got my score the next day my new seatmate brought
03:11me two
03:11blueberry muffins thank you yeah thanks for lending me your notes bro didn't know you had such unique
03:19taste a gift for you who the fuck likes pigs ah i saw you moved your seat over here figured
03:28you were into
03:29no why would you do that what are you that desperate to be loved every seatmate gets the full treatment
03:43from you after that day it wasn't just felix every guy in class wanted to stay as far away from
03:49me as
03:49possible even so i never thought about losing weight again the only time i ever dieted was because my
03:54feelings for silas had once outweighed my love for food that friday in p.e mrs williams actually let
04:00us go outside for free time everyone sprinted toward the school building entrance to take cover
04:05i hadn't even made it off the field when my kneecap suddenly dislocated and it collapsed to the ground
04:12i lay on my side on the rubber track hurting too much to even sit up
04:21i can't stand up can someone help me
04:27can't that's what you get for not losing weight can't even run without falling you deserve it
04:33i can't help you
04:36she doesn't look like she's faking it seems like she really can't get up should we go help her
04:41you feel so bad for her then you go who the fuck said i like fat chicks about seven or
04:46eight minutes
04:47later i finally managed to sit up but i still couldn't stand it so i just sat there quietly in
04:52the rain that day i was the one who eventually got herself up off the ground i forced myself in
05:00the
05:00other direction where i borrowed their phone to call in sick and go to the hospital when grandma found
05:04out about my dislocated knee she decided it was because my upper body was too heavy it's your weight
05:09i'm taking over your diet mrs williams's appearance grabbed my attention
05:14caspian you'll sit next to elora
05:18yo simus look this dude's dressed like a cereal minner got his whole face covered bet his face is fucked
05:23up
05:23obviously if he looked good why would he hide it the freak and the fat girl match made in heaven
05:32i noticed him slumped over his desk alone his hand pressed hard against his stomach
05:38are you is it your stomach he was clearly in serious pain
05:46let me help you to the nurse's office nearly six three most of his weight leaning on me
05:51good thing i was a sturdy little fat girl get him a ginger ale from the vending machine
05:58the nurse's office was empty now just caspian
06:02you can't stand me but you'll still come to my rescue
06:07pretty kind of you seatmate
06:11huh
06:13i don't not like you i thought you hated me that's why i never talked to you
06:18why would you think i hate you
06:20because i'm fat
06:23after that day
06:24my relationship with caspian gradually eased
06:27what's also changing is my weight
06:30by the time i realized it
06:31i had already lost weight to 160 pounds
06:34there are only a few people in the classroom
06:37are you having stomach ache again
06:38i quickly asked
06:41he looked at me
06:42gently closing his eyes for a moment
06:44i want to go buy medicine but i forgot how to get to the infirmary
06:49alora i'm in so much pain
06:50he looks a bit pitiful
06:52i'll go buy it for you right now wait for me
06:54i'll go with you and take note of the route by the way
06:56i supported his arm and walked towards the infirmary
06:59i bumped into silas just as i was going downstairs
07:03i'm in so much pain that i can't walk anymore
07:05let me catch my breath okay
07:06i still didn't refuse
07:09silas
07:12fat girl
07:13freak you what are you guys
07:14suddenly straightened up
07:16what did you just call her
07:17fat sister
07:18did i call her wrong
07:20if she's not fat then am i fat
07:22well you're not fat
07:23you're quite thin
07:26i reacted quickly
07:27grab past me and ran
07:30thank you caspican
07:32but next time just ignore him
07:34he's a champion in fighting competitions
07:36if you provoke him you'll only get beaten up
07:38but he bullied you
07:41alera
07:42i won't let anyone bully you
07:48will you
07:48i don't know
08:03but i even know
08:03the way
08:03if he's not in search
08:03or if he's not in search
08:04they'll be
08:04i don't know
08:04what's up
08:04me
08:04You
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