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Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:07Come on
00:09Dude, come on, wait
00:12Sorry, man, coach said one more D and you're out of here
00:16It's for your own good. Tell us you want for me. I'm a baseball player not a biologist. I don't
00:20know be smarter
00:25Prick
00:35Um you okay living my best life
00:42Why
00:45You offer to cheer me up
00:52Sorry
00:52All right um
00:59Good luck with everything
01:25Hey, roomie roomie
01:32sorry flyer this morning i am in need of a place to live and you are needed roommates
01:41sorry that um that flyer was meant for someone more like me someone quiet and academic and
01:49well a girl and i uh i just didn't expect zeke evans the school's
01:54sluttiest baseball player to be my new roommate so quite the reputation
02:04sorry i uh i didn't mean to it's okay
02:08you know there's more to me than all that right
02:14like what
02:17we're making mean lasagna
02:22um i'm sorry i don't i don't think that this is going to be a good fit beggars can't be
02:25choosers
02:26what makes you think i'm a beggar
02:31it's the first of the month just give me a shot all right move my heads kick me out no
02:36hard feelings
02:40but i promise to be a good boy for you
02:52i don't even know
02:56this is like a few times
02:58like there's no evidence there's no kegs
03:06zeke quick question um why are you throwing a rager at 2 p.m on a tuesday
03:13guys you need to get out more this is a hang it's not a rager
03:19all right go accept the cake or something all right bro
03:27look i failed a bio test okay thought i'd blow off some steam
03:31okay well i need to work on my portfolio which my mentor just called generic and i'm inspiring so
03:36could you please just oh what are you
03:42you know what's inspiring dancing right come on
03:50come on loosen up you know what i mean it'll help your art i promise
03:56there you go there she is shut up
04:03zeke
04:06hands off your roommate go herd your animals okay
04:12i'm tessa hi
04:15please forgive my man horrible brother and thank you for housing him he is a mess
04:20i've noticed he just needs a friend oh he's got our fangirls and frat boys so
04:26to new friends
04:31hmm
04:51so what do you say babe i'll pitch you catch
04:56oh um sorry i i don't really i don't really play i'm i'm just a fan
05:14not your type what fabian who's flirting with you right flirting with me that's that's a good one
05:24yeah flirting are you seriously that inexperienced
05:30no
05:34fine if you must know
05:38i've never even been kissed before so you've never been kissed
05:44i was always the the weird art girl
05:50i'd basically need like remedial sex ed
05:57what about a what about a sex tutor
06:02yeah yeah very funny and and where do you suppose i found one of those it's not something that you
06:07can put
06:07up a flyer for
06:15you you're you're funny it's it's a joke
06:19right
06:20oh not to brag but this is kind of my area of expertise right you know sluttiest baseball
06:26player on campus
06:29stop you're you're being mean and you're you're making fun of me i'm not
06:35no
06:37i don't i don't understand why you'd help me then
06:40so well a girl like you clearly makes good grades i could use a tutor myself
06:50coach said if i fail one more class i'm off the team and that means no more scouts that means
06:54no yankees you like the yankees focus
07:02you tutor me biology i'll tutor you in sex what do you say
07:08so
07:10we'd like
07:12date no no strictly educational no feelings i'm for fun not forever and that's not exactly boyfriend material
07:24right okay let me guess you want a sweetheart huh some good romantic guy who's gonna bring you flowers and
07:34write you poetry
07:38what's wrong with that nothing there's nothing wrong with it you deserve it
07:46you deserve everything you want
07:52that's not me
07:55what do you say you owe me it's my final and i hope you find the one
08:03deal
08:07how about
08:09will you seal the deal with your first kiss
08:33i'll save it for when you're alone
08:37let's go have some fun yeah
08:46first guy to bag the new chick wins the cash dude that's nasty
08:52zeke you want in what the hell dude she's a person not a bet
08:58chill bro all right we're gonna be doing this girl a favor can you please not mess it up with
09:02my roommate
09:03she's a big girl she can handle herself
09:08she's off limits you hear me
09:11or what or i'll kick your ass
09:15yeah okay beat it i got business to take care of
09:19but you're lucky this is her house
09:22look ignore him all right first one to slide home wins 500 bucks cash
09:31i think that's enough studying for today
09:41so you're gonna be a yankee huh
09:47well i should warn you that this
09:50is a dodger home
09:52dodger home
09:55not anymore
09:58you're not even recruited yet no it's coming
10:03you're looking at the best picture in the whole western conference
10:07yeah that's if you don't flunk out
10:09i know funny
10:13well i did just get this badass new tutor
10:23so now that we're
10:25alone
10:31so i don't know how it feels to be kissed
10:51i don't know how
10:55how do i
10:58lesson one
11:01trust yourself
11:04breathe
11:06just
11:08follow what feels good
11:14don't hold back
11:16beautiful
11:21um
11:23i'm sorry you uh
11:26you don't have to do this
11:29what
11:33pretend you want me
11:36i'm not pretending
11:39are you sure
11:42what makes you think otherwise
11:48because
11:51in the immortal words of my eighth grade bully
11:56i am a fat loser with
11:59frizzy here and thunder thighs so
12:10come with me
12:13want to show you something
12:31uh-uh
12:32uh-uh
12:33eye contact is how guys know you're into them
12:38i don't like being stared at
12:40they're admiring
12:43look at yourself
12:48what are you doing
12:51putting your eighth grade bully in her place
12:55why am i staring at myself this is embarrassing
13:02call it a confidence drill
13:06can i continue
13:09yeah
13:28sorry um
13:29i
13:32i'm not used to this so i
13:33you don't have to apologize
13:34i just want you
13:38to
13:39see yourself as you are
13:43beautiful
13:50lesson three
13:52ask for what you want
13:56can
13:58can
13:58we
14:03will you kiss me
14:25what was that bad did i did i do it wrong no no you
14:33you're natural really yeah don't want to get to your head
14:44well i think that we should go to bed
14:51already oh no oh my god not you and i not together separately in in our separate breaths
14:58because not together that that would be crazy
15:03you can if you want you set the pace butterfly
15:16you
15:23you
15:25you
15:26you
15:26you
15:26you
15:26From seven to three, all the adoptions flash like it's free.
15:32We're on a fast ride, our hunk is drunk, time was shitty.
15:38Study time.
15:40I was studying.
15:43I was working on my fastball.
15:44Yeah, and you need to be working on your organismal biology comprehension,
15:47which you clearly know nothing about, which is alarmingly concerning.
15:52So.
15:55I feel unmotivated.
15:59Come on, teach.
16:00We made my lessons fun.
16:07Okay.
16:09Fine.
16:12For every answer that you get wrong, you strip.
16:17But for every answer that you get right, I'll strip.
16:24Jeez.
16:25Amelia, strip tutoring?
16:29I didn't think you had it in you.
16:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:32You in or what?
16:36Bring it on.
16:39First question.
16:41What's the role of the sodium-potassium pump?
16:47It's when you eat sugar.
16:51You're...
16:54You're joking, right?
16:58The sodium-potassium pump moves ions against their concentration gradient.
17:05So...
17:07Strip.
17:28I guess I should've worn a shirt.
17:31I guess I should've worn a shirt.
17:38Um...
17:39What's the key to maintaining blood glucose levels?
17:44Hmm.
17:47Your turn to strip.
17:50We'll see.
17:56We'll see.
17:59Insulin.
18:12That's cheating.
18:20What are you guys doing?
18:22We are just studying.
18:24Studying.
18:24Yeah.
18:26Okay.
18:28Love that.
18:29But did Zeke not tell you about the plan?
18:33I've got a game today.
18:34So Tessa's here to help you get ready and bring you to the after party.
18:38Another party, Zeke.
18:39You have to study.
18:42I think it's time to practice what I taught you.
18:50Okay.
18:51We need to talk.
18:54Huh.
18:55My brother tells me that you don't know how you're an absolute babe.
19:01Oh, um, I mean, I know I'm not conventionally attractive, so...
19:06Conventional attractiveness is a myth.
19:09Anywho, I went shopping.
19:10It's like my love language or something, but I picked you out some outfits.
19:15You want to play dress up?
19:19Honestly?
19:21Yeah.
19:22Yay!
19:22Me too.
19:24Okay, let's go.
19:30Thank you for doing this.
19:32Seriously, I owe you one.
19:35At least I can do.
19:37For what?
19:40For helping Zeke.
19:42You literally saved his life because I was going to kill him if he flunked out.
19:48I hope I can help him.
19:50Oh, you can.
19:51He's not dumb.
19:52He just has this thing in his head that baseball and partying and getting with every girl in
19:56a five-mile radius is all he's good for.
20:05But I think he'll listen to you.
20:07He likes you.
20:08He told me so.
20:11Okay, no, no, no, no.
20:12No smiling.
20:13Okay.
20:14I'm going to line your lips.
20:15Focus.
20:16Focus.
20:23Let's go.
20:24Oh.
20:26Dude, when you struck out that last batter, I swear.
20:29Scout's trials are on the ground.
20:31I was actually planning on throwing him.
20:41What's that?
20:43Amelia?
20:54At least there's something to see.
20:58That horror will go.
21:00Hey.
21:03Damn, Fabian works fast.
21:05Amanda.
21:06She's the girl I wanted to see.
21:08Listen, I want to show you something.
21:09It's just right over here.
21:10It's Amelia.
21:11Told you to leave her alone.
21:14We're just having a conversation, bro.
21:16Relax.
21:17Back off.
21:18Or you'll be watching the next game from the bench.
21:24Sorry, pal.
21:25She's coming all the way home with me tonight.
21:28What the hell?
21:29Psycho, I'm your teammate.
21:30You're a piece of trash.
21:37What the hell was that?
21:39I thought you wanted me to practice flirting.
21:41Not with him.
21:42He's trying...
21:45He's trying to take you to the upstairs tree.
21:49The what?
21:50Look, Fabian is not good enough for you.
21:52Just ignore him.
21:54Okay.
21:57Wait.
21:59What's the upstairs tree?
22:01It's a tree where we take girls,
22:03and after we kiss them under it,
22:04they always ask to go upstairs with us.
22:06That's the move?
22:07Yeah.
22:09Kissing a girl under a tree?
22:12The upstairs tree.
22:13Ah, right.
22:16When does that work?
22:17I don't know.
22:18It just does.
22:18I don't understand how a tree could do that.
22:25I will show you.
22:29Part of lesson four,
22:31allow yourself to be swept off your feet.
22:43That's just it.
22:52Okay, so the story goes,
22:54founder planted this tree for his wife,
22:56and the seed shipped all the way from North Carolina.
22:58Dug the hole himself,
22:59watered it every day.
23:02Usually, the girl says something like,
23:04well, it seems like a lot of work.
23:07Wow, it seems like a lot of work.
23:08There you go.
23:09And we would say,
23:10oh, the guy would do anything for a pretty girl.
23:12Right, but usually you'd mean it, right?
23:16I mean it right now, pretty girl.
23:17Well, then we would lead them behind the tree.
23:27And then...
23:28What?
23:31Do this.
23:45So upstairs.
23:57So upstairs.
24:04So, what's it like living in a frat?
24:09Fun.
24:11Baseball, parties, girls.
24:15Hmm.
24:16What about class?
24:18Yeah, I'm not really good at much else besides rounding home plate.
24:21No, you make a mean lasagna, right?
24:25Sure do.
24:27You ask nice, and I'll let you taste it.
24:30It's always about the sex with you, isn't it?
24:32Well, it's what people expect from me, so...
24:36Maybe you should try exceeding their expectations.
24:41Gotta be honest, I think this is the most I've ever talked on an upstairs trip.
24:47What does a normal upstairs trip look like?
24:52This.
25:09Zeke, stop teasing.
25:12Lesson five.
25:14Patience is a virtue.
25:17The build-up is half the fun.
25:29All right, guys, gonna take his time.
25:33Savor every inch.
25:36What about listen three?
25:38Asking for what I want.
25:40Space, space, space, girl, machine.
25:44Space, space, girl, machine.
25:47Space, space, girl, machine.
25:48All right, butterfly.
25:51What do you want?
25:54I want you to touch me.
25:57Really?
25:58For academic purposes.
26:00Obviously.
26:03Well, then.
26:05In the spirit of education.
26:09Mm-hmm.
26:21What else?
26:24I want you to kiss me.
26:26Please.
26:31What?
26:39Space, space, girl, machine.
26:44Space, space, girl, machine.
26:47Space, space, girl, machine.
27:03You're reminiscing already?
27:05Shut up.
27:07I gotta go find Tessa, but I'll be right back.
27:21Wow, that's beautiful.
27:25Hey, um,
27:27Emilio, right?
27:30I'm Sam.
27:32Second baseman,
27:33backup pitcher,
27:35fellow artist.
27:37You paint, too?
27:38No, I'm an actor.
27:40Aspiring, anyway.
27:43What kind of stuff do you make?
27:44Oh, just representational art
27:46with a focus on color theory.
27:48That's wow, yeah.
27:50You have no idea what I just said.
27:52No, not at all.
27:53Well, um, but maybe I could take you out and hear you tell me all about that.
28:03Can I have your number?
28:07What are you doing?
28:10Well, I'm asking Emilio out.
28:13You know, I thought we could talk art.
28:16Since when do you care about art?
28:18Come on, man.
28:19You know I act.
28:21So what do you say?
28:24I'd love to.
28:25Wow.
28:27She'd love to.
28:30I'm looking forward to it.
28:35Oh, Emilio has a date.
28:38Emilio has a date.
28:39Cut it out, Tessa.
28:42It's just to hang out.
28:44I'm gonna go get some more water.
28:51Okay, Spell.
28:53What's going on between you two?
28:56I don't know what you're talking about.
28:59Yeah, right.
29:00I've literally never seen you this jealous.
29:02I'm not jealous.
29:03I'm just protecting her.
29:05Because you have a huge crush on her.
29:07No, I don't.
29:09We're friends.
29:10She doesn't see me like that.
29:14Amelia.
29:15So, what do you think of Zeke?
29:17Be honest.
29:18I think he's charming.
29:20That's for sure.
29:21Charming, huh?
29:23What about really hot?
29:24Zip it.
29:25I asked her, not you.
29:29I think he's kind and generous.
29:32And super motivated.
29:34But I think he sells himself short.
29:39I think he's more than just a slutty baseball player.
29:44Damn, bro.
29:45She sees you.
29:46She's a real one.
29:47All right, what about you, Zeke?
29:48What do you think of Amelia?
29:53She's, uh, she's great.
29:58Great roommate.
29:59Total chiller.
30:02Right.
30:03Thanks a lot, Remy.
30:24Hey.
30:26So, uh, when's that test again?
30:29Vinyls are almost over.
30:32Yeah, I, uh, I took it yesterday.
30:38Zeke, why didn't you tell me?
30:40Well, I wanted to wait so I could show you my first day.
30:47Oh, my God.
30:51You did it.
30:55Well, I couldn't have done it without you, Teach.
31:07No, no, no.
31:10Trying to stand up now, but you...
31:17Sorry.
31:28So, you're going out with Sam, then?
31:34Yeah, um, I guess it all worked out.
31:42You got the A.
31:46I got the guy.
31:48You don't even know him.
31:49I'm doing what you told me to.
31:52Trusting myself and letting myself get swept off my feet.
31:56Yeah, but...
31:57But what?
31:58I'm not understanding the problem.
32:00It's no problem.
32:02What's the point of you tutoring me if you won't let me date anybody?
32:08Are you...
32:09Are you jealous?
32:13Zeke.
32:14No.
32:20Right, because...
32:22Because you're the one that said no feelings.
32:26Yep.
32:29Then I guess our lessons are over.
32:33Yeah, cool.
32:35I better go get ready for my date, then.
32:38Wish me luck.
32:40Good luck.
33:03Well, I figure as the brat's sweetheart, it's my job to make sure my boys get a sweet treat before
33:09the big game tomorrow.
33:10That's like my sweet treat upstairs.
33:19Misty babe.
33:21Damn dude, you know, you really are a psychopath.
33:26Sorry, bro.
33:26Hello.
33:30Zeke?
33:34Excuse you?
33:37Happened to the museum.
33:40We're meeting here.
33:42We were about to head out.
33:44I didn't know.
33:47Right.
33:49I'm going to go wait outside.
33:54You're seriously pining over those kinkles?
33:57Definitely not pining over your hateful ass.
33:59Don't talk about her like that.
34:13I don't know.
34:26I...
34:28I...
34:31I thought you'd be with that girl.
34:40How was your date with Sam?
34:44It was good.
34:48Cool.
34:51I'm happy for you.
35:19What is this?
35:22It's not.
35:23It's not a day to stay.
35:25I'm happy to stay.
35:26Big talk but he just can't get it in the hole.
35:30Speaking of thanks for striking out with Jen and send her back my way shut up
35:35Your roomie though, that is a tough nut to crack. She wouldn't even let Sam kiss her. What are you
35:40talking about?
35:41Hey, don't count me out. You know, it's not over till the fat lady's name. Oh
35:48For sure. Oh, for sure. Was this about the bet? I thought you liked her. No, I like winning
35:55Plus it's like the best acting exercise ever like my
35:58Oh wait, you're done. You hear me? Leave her alone. Don't text her. Don't call her. Don't even look at
36:04her
36:05Yo, what the hell dude since when you so whipped? Yeah
36:14You're bugging out Z
36:15What the hell? He needs to cool off or something. He's just mad. I don't know.
36:20Oh
36:28See, what are you doing? Don't talk to Sam again
36:33I'm not doing this with you. We we talked about this. I lied
36:37What? I was jealous
36:41The thought of him making you smile and
36:45Touching you
36:47Kissing you
36:47It drove me crazy
36:51He's not your man butterfly
36:56I am
37:02I know I said I don't do feelings
37:05That I'm not boyfriend material, but you changed everything for me
37:10I want to be the man you see when you look at me
37:14Amelia
37:15Would you be my girlfriend?
37:22Yeah
37:23Of course I will
37:40God, you're such a good kisser
37:43Hi, what a good teacher
37:45Speaking of
37:48I think I have a few more lessons for you
37:50Oh
37:59What do you want butterfly?
38:03I want you to be my first
38:07Are you sure?
38:10I'm very sure
38:12Watch me and count it out
38:21I know it was bad
38:22But I want to hear you tell me just how it happened
38:27Would you do it all again?
38:29Even if it had the same exact impact
38:33Sipping, I'm hanging, screaming, tripping out words
38:35I need it, pretty good at conceiting
38:37Dishing out how I'm treated
38:38Switching up on no meaning
38:39That don't make sense
38:41But if this ain't okay
38:42Tryna make it go up
38:43Break it down on top of my face
38:44Walk to the bottom of my knee
38:45Baby, can't you see me?
38:47I want to crash back
38:48How you used to talk to me
38:51Flashbang
38:51How I used to combat you
38:53Snap back, baby
38:55Can we count to three?
38:57Can't live with or without you
38:59Watch me and count it out
39:00Watch me and count it out
39:02Watch me and count it out
39:04Watch me and count it out
39:05Watch me and count it out
39:11Watch me and count it out
39:13That looks really good on you
39:15Hmm?
39:16Mm-hmm
39:19Fortunately, I do have a game today
39:20So I'm going to need that bag
39:23Oh, yeah?
39:24Yeah
39:24Yeah
39:25Hmm
39:26Prefer it be sooner rather than later
39:28Actually
39:28So
39:31We'll just take it off right now, right?
39:36Make me
39:42It's probably just Tessa
39:44Ignore it
39:48Oh
39:51Damn, dude
39:52I guess we owe you 500 bucks, huh?
39:55You sneaky bastard
39:57Fabian, get the hell out of here
39:58Seek?
40:00What is he talking about?
40:02Oh, you see
40:03We made a bet, sweetheart
40:05On who could fuck you first
40:07Yeah, that's enough
40:09Hey, feel free to come collect your cash anytime
40:12Oh, and you forgot this
40:15Toodaloo
40:15Have a nice life
40:22Look, I can explain, okay?
40:24You slept with me to win a bet?
40:25No
40:26No, I had nothing to do with it
40:27Sam did
40:29That's why I told you to stop seeing it
40:31And you didn't tell me
40:33How could you do this to me?
40:35How could you lie?
40:37Who's protecting you?
40:40What great job?
40:42Amelia, please
40:44Don't touch me
41:07It's Tessa
41:10I'm sorry for texting you
41:12You absolutely should have texted me
41:15No, no, he's
41:17He's your brother
41:18I just
41:19I didn't know who else to talk to
41:21You can always talk to me
41:24I used to be able to talk to him
41:26And now
41:28I can't even look at him
41:31You want me to kill him?
41:32I will kill him
41:34Tempting
41:35No, honestly
41:39This is probably for the best
41:42I never could have dated a Yankee anyway
41:47You love him
41:48Don't you?
41:51I don't know
41:52All I know
41:53Is that I've never felt this way about anybody
41:56It's like he's pulling me like gravity
42:03But he doesn't feel the same way
42:05Of course he does
42:07My brother is an idiot
42:08When it comes to emotional stuff
42:10But I know he cares about you
42:13I've never seen him look at anyone
42:14The way he looks at you
42:16If you really
42:17Cared about me
42:18He never would have lied
42:21God, I feel so stupid
42:25Let me talk to him
42:26I'll set him straight, I swear
42:27No, no
42:28It's fine
42:31Pretty soon
42:32He'll be off in New York
42:34And we'll be in LA
42:37And we'll never have to see each other again
42:54We need to talk
42:58I don't feel like it
42:58The fact that you're out here throwing a ball around
43:01Instead of begging for Amelia's forgiveness
43:03I know Mom raised you better
43:05She told me to leave her alone
43:07Do you care about her?
43:08Of course I do
43:10That's not the point
43:11The point is I'm not good enough for her
43:14I hurt her, Tessa
43:15It's just who I am
43:17I'm not a relationship guy, you know this
43:19Okay, enough
43:21You know how to be a relationship guy?
43:23You commit to being in a relationship
43:25I mean, it's literally that easy
43:28You're more than a fuckboy, you hear me?
43:31So it's time to grow up
43:32And go get your girl
43:35She deserves better than me
43:37So be better
43:47Hey
43:48Hey
43:49Can I talk to you?
43:52If you want
44:05Are those Dodger blue and white?
44:07Or Yankee blue and white?
44:09Dodger
44:10This is a Dodger's home
44:16I'm sorry
44:18Okay, I should have told you about the best sooner
44:24You should've
44:28Thought I was protecting you
44:30Thought I was doing the right thing
44:34But the right thing isn't lying to you
44:38So I'm gonna be completely honest from here on out
44:45I don't want to be just fun, Butterfly
44:49When it comes to you, I want to be forever
44:55I want to keep showing you how beautiful you really are
45:00I want to be that gushy, romantic guy that
45:03Brings you flowers and writes you poetry
45:07I want to be everything you want
45:10Everything you deserve
45:14So tell me
45:17What do you want?
45:22I want
45:27I want to trust myself
45:31And I
45:32I want to follow what feels good
45:38And I don't want to hold back
45:41And I don't want to hold back
45:43I want you, Zeke
45:48You too?
45:49Of course I do
45:58Thank God
46:00Because I already asked Coach to set up a call with the Dodgers recruiter
46:04He did what?
46:07Told you, this is the Dodger home
46:10I'm going to try to get signed by them instead of the Yankees
46:12So when you move to L.A.
46:15We'll be there together
46:18And what if I said no?
46:23I'd have to pivot to plan B
46:26Lasagna
46:42I want to hold back
46:44And that's enough
46:45And that's enough
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