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Short filmTranscript
00:02thank god are you okay he didn't chain you up somewhere he's not no no dungeons i'm fine
00:09you don't look fine she's right i don't feel fine i feel like i'm playing three different
00:13chess games at once and losing all of them i start to tell her about franco about tomas
00:17about the deadline but before i can get past the first sentence are you okay you seem terrified of
00:22him of course i'm terrified his men run the entire east coast he could be listening to us
00:26right now mia serena you're not making sense why do you even know so much about him who's
00:29your dad something shifts in her expression something serious and old and tired like
00:34she's been waiting for this question and dreading it at the same time mia it's time you know who i
00:38am
00:38the door exploding open a masked man with a gun raised screaming at everyone to get on the floor
00:42the cafe erupts into chaos i freeze i stand in the middle of it all and my body simply refuses
00:48to
00:49move like it's deciding whether any of this is real mia get down i can't move you deaf i said
00:56down
00:56the robber spots me move why can't i move
01:06for one second i think it's over marco put it down please
01:16i stand there with a stranger's arm around neck and think absurdly about the alley three months ago
01:20about how i peeked my head out and said hello like an idiot about how that one bad decision led
01:24to every bad decision after it a chain of dominoes i set off the moment i dragged a bleeding cartel
01:29king
01:29off the pavement i really shouldn't have saved him then the door opens again emilio walks in like he
01:33has nowhere else to be like this is a meeting he scheduled gun raised jaw set eyes finding me in
01:38under a second oh yeah who's she the president's wife emilio shoots him in the arm the arm around my
01:43throat goes slack i drop serena catches me no you're fucking not i don't see what happens next the world
01:50tilts go soft at the edges and i stop being able to hold myself up the last thing i feel
01:55before i
01:55feign is someone lifting me his arms his cologne that particular steadiness that shouldn't feel like
02:00safety but does
02:04the next morning a small army arrives at my door they work on me for two hours i sit in
02:09the chair
02:09and let them and feel like a doll being dressed for a party i didn't ask to attend which is
02:14technically exactly what's happening i slip out when they're arguing about earrings
02:18down the hall through the tall living room windows i spot emilio outside with diego
02:22he's in a sharp suit and he's furious jaw tight gesturing hard words muffled through the glass but
02:27unmistakably sharp he's beautiful when he's angry i noticed this and immediately wish i hadn't
02:34you're gonna tell me why you want my baby and what it have to do with palacio
02:38who the man at your apartment he knows he's known the realization lands slowly and then all at once and
02:44i think about every moment since he showed up at my door the conference table the handkerchief the
02:48drawer full of condoms and understand that he has been pulling at this thread the entire time
02:52i don't know what you're talking about do you know what happened to the last person who lied to me
02:57i cut out their tongue and made them eat it i hate them i blink hard he's a monster i
03:02tell
03:03myself remember that this isn't over i know it's never over that's the problem
03:10i walk in on emilio's arm in a dress that cost more than three months of my old salary
03:15diamonds at my throat and i feel like a very convincing fake emilio greets people with a
03:19smile that doesn't touch his eyes and steers me through the room with a hand at the small of my
03:23back that feels like both a claim and a warning stay close don't talk to anyone i'm not allowed
03:29to talk to people you've caused enough trouble on your own that wasn't in the contract i'm a cartel
03:33off boss mia a contract won't stop me from doing whatever i want i don't see franco until his hand
03:40closes around my arm and yanks me into the shadows hello little mia you didn't forget our deal
03:45what are you doing here emilio invited me go way back emilio invited him the information sits in my
03:50chest like a stone i think about the look on emilio's face through the window furious deliberate i think
03:55about this isn't over you've been living with him for three weeks little mia why aren't you pregnant yet
04:07what did you do to her nothing we were just talking why don't you ask her this is her's land
04:13between us like a grenade i watch emilio's grip loosen just slightly just for a moment and see
04:18it on his face the recalculation the betrayal trying to find its shape our eyes meet and i have never
04:23felt so exposed in my life then dealion is there murmuring something about engagement photos and
04:28emilio exhale through his teeth and goes i watch him walk away with his shoulders set and his jaw
04:33tight and something aching and hollow opens up in the middle of my chest you know something's wrong
04:38tell him yourself before this ends badly i can't under the bright lights of the photo area emilio and
04:44i stand six inches apart like strangers the photographer keeps asking us to move closer we
04:49comply in small miserable increments is it that unborable standing next to me only when you're mad at me
04:54i'm mad because you're hiding something i can't perfect now give each other a little kiss
04:58the silence that follows is approximately a thousand years long then emilio grabs my chin and kisses me
05:03it's not gentle it's a question with teeth demanding and frustrated and searingly humiliatingly effective
05:09the camera flashes go off like a small storm that was my first kiss that was my first kiss and
05:14he used
05:14it like propunctuation his mouth was just there angry and warm and nothing like i'd imagined and i have
05:22absolutely been imagining it and that is a problem i don't have time for right now
05:26he was furious and i still got turned on what is wrong with me
05:32did you sleep with him what who franco palacio is that what you're hiding is that why you wouldn't
05:36kiss me no i didn't sleep with him you shoved me away like i was contagious because i couldn't breathe
05:39i've never i haven't the fury in his expression shifts slowly like a tide going out it gives way to
05:45something quiet and more careful breathe through your nose he presses his lips to mine and this time it's
05:49nothing like before soft slow like he's asking instead of taking like he has all the time in
05:54the world and intends to use it one more i don't say no i don't say anything he kisses me
05:59again deeper
06:00one hand sliding to the back of my neck and i stop being able to think in anything but sensation
06:04warmth and the smell of his cologne and the ridiculous inconvenient certainty that i am in very
06:08serious trouble say yes ma'am yes
06:14then he stops not all at once he trails his lips down my throat unhurried while i'm still trying to
06:18remember what air is for his hands are at my waist mine are in his hair the whole world has
06:22narrowed
06:22down to this locked bathroom this basin his mouth but i don't think you deserve it yet what you're
06:27still hiding something from me you and my worst enemy i can't tell you i'm sorry he drops to his
06:31knees in front of me parting my legs and i barely have time to process what's happening before his
06:36mouth is on me and my head snaps back and i forget every coherent thought i've ever had you'll tell
06:41me eventually before it's too late he's using this against me i know he's using this against me i can't
06:46make
06:46myself care a security guard threatening to break it down promise me you'll tell me the truth or that
06:53guard walks in and finds you like this that's you can't that's blackmail yes i promise i'll tell you
06:57everything turns back to me eyes dark remember your promise
07:04he leaves i sit on the basin in the sudden quiet chest heaving ring glittering on my finger and press
07:09my hands to my face he used pleasure as a weapon and the worst part the part i can't stop
07:14thinking
07:14about as i swipe off the basin and fix my lipstick and walk back out into the party is that
07:18i would
07:19let him do it again sleep well you don't look like you slept well i can arrange a sleep therapist
07:28you
07:29used sex to black rail me no i don't need a therapist i need a cop you think a cop
07:33would help no because
07:34you're the cartel king and you do whatever you want not everything i want not when it comes to you
07:40i don't know what to do with that i look at my hands i don't like being lied to mia
07:44i grew up in
07:45this world betrayal is the worst sin there is but i'll wait tell me when you're ready something in
07:50my chest loosens just slightly the first millimeter of relief in weeks i'll tell you at the right time
07:56i need to think it through that's all i need i have money you have peanuts buy whatever you want
08:02i'll see you tonight fiancee i look up from five credit cards in the ring on my finger and the
08:06ghost of his
08:07mouth on mine and i think about tobos and franco's deadline and the promise i made in a locked
08:11bathroom i'll tell him at the right time my phone buzzes it's a message from an unknown number a photo
08:17toast beaten barely consciousness a map pin one line of text come alone i'm running some errands today you
08:24can come along let's see how long you last i know that's what it was a list of errands emilio
08:32had
08:32quietly arranged a list of things i was supposed to need a list of reasons to stay close to the
08:36house
08:37i ditched them at the corner of fifth and character slipped into a doorway while they ran past in the
08:41wrong direction and stood there for three whole seconds feeling like i'd actually won something
08:46the address was a neighborhood that had given up on itself cracked pavement board windows a smell
08:51like rust and old rain the building at the end of the block looked like it was held together by
08:56habit
08:57i pushed the door open anyway he needs me i told myself he can't hurt me yet there's no baby
09:03the
09:03whole scene arranged like something from a bad movie little mia took you long enough i had to get rid
09:09of
09:10emilio's people i'm not talking about that i'm talking about why you're not pregnant he looked up when he
09:13heard me my stomach turned he started pulling one of the women closer making a show of it watching my
09:18face
09:21when something slammed into the building from the back a sound like the world rearranging itself
09:31franco got one hand on my arm before a gunshot punched through the air and he dropped
09:40emilio stood in the doorway guns still raised still smoking he looked at franco on the floor for exactly
09:47one second then he looked at me you okay did he hurt you i couldn't make words happen i just
09:55shook
09:55my head against his chest and kept shaking take care of the rest we're leaving then he lifted me
10:01literally lifted me and carried me out of that building like i weighed nothing like it was the
10:06most natural thing in the world like he'd been doing it his whole life outside the afternoon light
10:11was so ordinary it almost hurt i kept waiting for him to put me down to say something cold
10:18to remind me that this was a contract and feelings weren't included he didn't he just held me against
10:23his chest in the back seat while diego drove and the city slipped past the windows like a film i
10:27wasn't part of he set me on the living room sofa carefully gently and told the staff to leave with
10:32a
10:33single look the room emptied in seconds it was just us and the afternoon quiet and the weight of
10:38everything that had happened in that filthy room he threatened my cousin he wanted me to have your
10:43baby so you could use the child as leverage against you why didn't you come to me he said he'd
10:47kill
10:47tomas if i did your cousin was working with gladio he owed him money they built this trap together for
10:54you
10:54the word together landed like a stone what he gambled himself into a grave palazio owned him i stared at
11:03my hands the whole architecture of the past was rearranged itself in my head toas weeping on my floor
11:09the threats all of it planned all of it aimed at me sorry isn't gonna cut it
11:16i thought he was going to be cold about it that's what i braced for the cartel king voice the
11:21gun on the
11:21table voice that i told you so wrapped in ice instead he said something i didn't expect at all
11:28you own me i dropped meetings to pull you out of that coffee shop i kissed you at our engagement
11:32party when i should have been shaking hands i couldn't kill you when you lied to my face three
11:36times and i tried i sat there and i tried and i couldn't do it don't quote that stupid contract
11:41to me when you own me me espinoza body and soul as much as i own you kiss me like
11:47you own me his jaw
11:49worked he said something about not being able to stop once he started i didn't let him finish
11:53i grabbed his collar and pulled him down to me and for one second he went still with pure shock
11:58and then he took over kissing me like he'd been keeping it locked up for months which i think he
12:02had
12:04yes do whatever you want me punish me fuck me like you own me he looked at me for a
12:10long moment
12:10something fierce and half undone in his face don't say i didn't warn you
12:21there's a mirror above the dresser in his bedroom i didn't notice it until he bent me over the drawers
12:25and his mouth found my neck and i looked up and saw us his hands in my hair my face
12:30flushed his eyes
12:31burning into mine through the glass look in the mirror look how slutty you get for me i couldn't look
12:37away i'm the only one who gets to see you like this do you understand yes lift your dress watch
12:44when i take you what followed i will not describe in detail because there are no adequate words for
12:49it i'll say that every time my eyes dropped he cupped my chin and brought my gaze back to the
12:54mirror
12:55every time he said mine i believed him more completely than i've believed anything in my life
12:59mine mine mine afterward we lay in the dark his arm across my waist his breath slow and even
13:09i stared at the ceiling and felt the particular silence of someone who has crossed a line they
13:14can't cross back over you own me mia espinoza i pressed my face into his shoulder and tried not
13:19to feel how much i wanted that to be true don't fall i told myself i was already falling
13:27one week later i came home to flowers that's not quite accurate i came home to an abundance of
13:32flowers a proliferation a situation that had clearly escalated well beyond what any reasonable person
13:37would call a floral arrangement every surface in the living room held a different vase the whole
13:42space smelled like a greenhouse had moved in while i was out standing in the middle of it introducing
13:46herself with a warm professional smile was a woman named ollie she was in her 30s polished very pretty
13:52and she was looking at the door behind me in a way that told me exactly who she was waiting
13:55for
13:55emilio came in 30 seconds later he stopped swept his eyes across the flowers then across me and
14:00something in his face went immediately soft and that way it only does when it's just us
14:04hello wife i missed you he dropped kisses on my forehead i held his forearms and forgot for a
14:11moment that there was a third person in the room you must be mr reyes i'm ollie i'm helping
14:16mrs reyes with the wedding florets emilio looked at all the flowers again how many flowers does a
14:21wedding need as many as i like you told me i could have whatever i wanted he leaned in close
14:27eyes
14:28warming i was thinking of something else entirely when i said that i shoved his chest he laughed and
14:34pulled me into his side i didn't notice ollie's expression yet i would
14:42the roses were imported from bulgaria apparently perfect for expressing passion
14:48a good fit for your character sir i looked at emilio he was looking at me what do you think
14:54they look pretty ollie pivoted to lily's before i finished the sentence they open with just a little
15:00attention and her eyes lingered on emilio the way eyes linger when they're not really looking at
15:06flowers they look cheap then orchids high main taint in it but a man like you can definitely
15:14afford to spoil someone stop both of them looked at me i know what you're doing and i don't like
15:21it ollie gave me a polished innocent smile mrs reyes i assure you it's mrs reyes you're flirting with
15:30my man in my house i don't like that emilio made a sound that was almost a laugh he lowered
15:36his mouth to
15:37my ear you're about to become a mob queen show her your claws i turned back to ollie you're fired
15:43you heard my wife security came she went the door closed emilio was grinning you called me your man
15:51because you are
15:54i told him he was sleeping on the couch in respect this was optimistic of me for what sin exactly
16:01you
16:01didn't shut her down you just stood there i was looking at you the whole time i didn't hear a
16:07word
16:07she said that's not the point couch i turned to walk away he caught my wrist i had about one
16:13second
16:14of thinking i'd won before he lifted me over his shoulder like i was a bag he was rearranging
16:20i squealed i couldn't help it put me down you'll be down when i decide you're down he carried me
16:28out of
16:28the room while i laughed and hit his back and told him he was ridiculous he ignored all of it
16:33with
16:33complete serenity on the other side of the city in the abandoned house where franco had died damien
16:38moved through the filthy rooms alone he stopped at the body crouched down studied what was left of the
16:43man who had been his instrument he stood up slowly coward he looked around at the decay the silence
16:52the ruined plan then he pulled out his phone guess i'm on my own now
17:01the letter appeared with breakfast morning wife you got a letter
17:07i read the first line and went completely still it was an admission letter nursing school i never
17:12applied for this i did he said it casually like it was obvious like the most natural thing in the
17:18world was for a cartel boff to submit nursing school applications on behalf of a woman he'd
17:22coerced into a contract marriage how did you even know i wanted to go back he stopped moving turned to
17:28look at me with an expression i'd never seen on him before completely serious completely open the night
17:34you saved me you said you were a nursing school dropout the storage room the blood his voice fading in
17:42and out as i pressed gauze to his chest trying to keep him here i'm a nursing school dropout you'll
17:49survive he'd been carrying that for months i listened to everything you say he took my hand and kissed the
17:56back of it told me the semester started on the 18th two weeks he'd arranged bodyguards i started to
18:00object he said two not a convoy and i let it go then i sat very still looking at the
18:05letter the 18th
18:06my period was late more than late i thought about the soreness i'd been ignoring for a week and a
18:12cold
18:12plerry moved through me fast and certain bathroom i was already gone
18:22i sat on the bathroom floor for a long time the test was in my hand two lines unmistakable sitting
18:31there in the morning light like the simplest and most complicated fact in the world pregnant i pressed
18:38my palm flat against my stomach nothing felt different yet the same body the same skin but
18:43somewhere in there something had started something that was half me and half the man in the kitchen who
18:48had kissed the back of my hand and said i listened to everything you say the man who had carried
18:52me out
18:53of that building who said you own me and meant it with his whole body the man i needed to
18:58tell i thought
18:59about what it meant to be pregnant with the cartel king's child the leverage of it the danger of it
19:04the
19:04way a baby becomes a weapon in this world whether you want it to or not i thought about tomos
19:09about
19:10all the traps i'd walked into already and then i stopped thinking about danger and just felt it
19:16i'm going to be a mother emilio is going to be a father i wiped my face stood up open
19:23the door
19:24diego was in the hall where's emilio meeting miss with damian take me to him please it's important
19:34the boss doesn't like to be disturbed but something in my face must have convinced him he nodded
19:42i followed him out the test folded in my palm my heart running ahead of my feet
19:50diego walked me to the study door and left i could hear voices inside emilio and damrian low and urgent
19:56i raised my hand to knock and stopped the test was still in my palm two lines the most important
20:03thing i'd ever held then amadio's voice cut through the door me as cousin who's a clown my hand dropped
20:10i
20:11stood very still i knew i should walk away i knew that eave dropping on the cartel king's private
20:16meetings was the kind of thing that ended badly in this world i pressed my ear to the door anyway
20:22he could have been useful he's mia's only blood relative tied to palosio's mob it was leverage
20:31what the hell is going on with you i'm just saying as the east coast cartel king
20:36you could play more strategically like not shooting your cousin-in-law in the head my blood went cold
20:46i couldn't move what i have with mia is none of your business damian said something else something
20:53about fixing things with her keeping tomas alive as a peace offering but the words were coming
20:58through water now muffled and distant shooting your cousin-in-law in the head tomas was dead
21:07emilio had killed him my cousin the only blood family i'd left the person whose life i'd accepted
21:13a mob marriage to save and emilio had shot him while tomanas was under his roof while i was sleeping
21:19down the hall thinking i'd kept him safe damian said something about the forged will next lying about
21:25her inheritance just to marry her a sound at the door emilio's voice sharpened who's there
21:36i turned and ran i was packing before i fully decided to pack the suitcase was open on the bed
21:44and my hands were moving and the test was still in my fist i don't know why i kept holding
21:49it
21:49and emilio came through the door 20 seconds later face pale wait what are you doing what does it look
21:57like mia let's talk i don't negotiate with the devil i tried to pass him he grabbed my arm stop
22:04let's talk i jerked free you lied you killed my cousin then you lied again there's nothing left
22:11to say he exhaled sharp and frustrated is killing your scumbag cousin really that big of a deal
22:17i stared at him i waited for a moment to feel shocked but there was none left of course he
22:21said
22:21that of course he was a criminal boss who ran an empire built on violence and i had somehow
22:25convinced myself that the version of him who kissed my forehead and listened to everything i said was
22:29the real one does a human life mean anything to you i'm a criminal boss you knew that when you
22:36signed
22:36the contract which you forged my aunt never wanted me to marry you did she
22:45a long silence he didn't deny it you added the marriage clause to trap me so what i run a
22:53mob
22:54be grateful i didn't take you by force the words landed like a slap grateful he wanted me to be
22:59grateful so grateful grateful you dragged me into this hell got my cousin killed and got me the test
23:06was still in my hand i looked down at it the two lines looked back you'll never know i thought
23:11you don't deserve to i zipped the suitcase shut
23:18just let me go emilio you know i can't in one motion i reached across him and grabbed the gun
23:24from his hip i had it pressed against myself before i thought about what i was doing the barrel cold
23:29against my ribs my hand shaking tears running down my face mia his voice had changed completely all the
23:37cold stripped out of it either you let me walk out or i pull this trigger
23:44he went very still then he extended his hand palm up the way you'd extend a hand
23:50to a frightened animal give me the gun and i'll let you leave just like that yes
23:58you know i can't say no to you just give me the gun please the please undid something in my
24:05chest
24:06i hated that it did after a long moment i laid the gun in his palm he tucked it away
24:13without breaking
24:13eye contact we can fix this we can pretend none of this happened i can't pretend everything between us
24:21was built on lies he stepped closer his voice dropped thick with something he was fighting to
24:27contain my feelings for you aren't lies a tear ran down my face i looked at his face really looked
24:33at
24:34it this man who had saved me and lied to me and killed my cousin and kissed my forehead in
24:38the morning
24:39all of it true at the same time none of it simple i took his hand i placed the ring
24:44in his palm
24:45goodbye emilio he stood frozen fist closing around the ring as i walked out the door
24:54i went to serena's she opened the door before i finished knocking took one look at my face and
25:00pulled me inside without asking any questions she made tea she handed me tissues she sat with me on
25:06the sofa and let me cry until there was nothing left then she waited he killed my cousin
25:13he lied about the inheritance everything from the beginning was fabricated to get me into that house
25:21serena was very quiet she handed me another tissue
25:28too quiet i looked at her serena he killed my cousin why aren't you shocked
25:39she couldn't meet my eyes serena why do you look like you already knew a long silence the kind that
25:47means the answer is going to change things i brought domus to him the room tilted what
25:57my dad is a mafia don
26:00i heard the words i processed them in a very distant clinical way
26:06the way you process information that is too large to fit into the ordinary world you lied to me
26:15for five years i hid it to protect you so you'd never get dragged into this mob world
26:23but then emilio showed up and did you know he killed my cousin the silence that followed was the
26:28worst silence of my life yes emilio shot your cousin in front of me i pulled away from her she
26:36reached
26:36for my arm mia please my family doesn't change who i am what you mean to me
26:45you sound just like him i lied to protect you
26:51you watched him die and you didn't tell me i stood up she scrambled after me saying my name reaching
26:58for my arm i got to the door mia wait we're done serena i ran
27:07the street was cold serena chased me for half a block before her phone rang and she stopped i didn't
27:14look back i just walked arms wrapped around myself no destination no plan just moving because stopping
27:19felt like drowning i thought about my mother who had died and left me in a world i didn't understand
27:23i thought about toas who had sold me to a monster for gambling debts i thought about the ring i'd
27:28left in emilio's hand and the test still folded in my pocket and the fact that i was pregnant and
27:32alone in the dark with nowhere to go the city moved around me indifferent a car slowed alongside me
27:39i squinted emilio the door opened not emilio damien
27:49relax i'm not dragging you anywhere then what do you want i have orders to stay with you but
27:56i can take you to a safe house emmanuel won't know he watched my face patient almost gentle i can
28:04even
28:04get you out of the country i stared at him damien was smiling that easy smile hands in his pockets
28:12like he was offering him a ride to the airport nothing in his face looked wrong why would you
28:17help me you're his brother i'd like to balance out some of the bad i've done i'll handle your phone
28:22he put a tracker on it even works when it's off i looked down at my phone then at him
28:28then at the
28:30dark street stretching in both directions with nowhere to go i handed him the phone he took it
28:35and i climbed into the back seat i was so tired i was so tired of being afraid of running
28:41of trying
28:41to stay one step ahead of men with more power than i would ever have the leather seat was warm
28:46damien got into the front without speaking there's water in the back if you need it
28:52i reached for the bottle opened it took a long drink thank you damien you're a good man he watched
28:59me in the rearview mirror and something moved across his face that i didn't have time to read
29:06the water tasted like water that was the last thing i registered clearly then the edges of the
29:12window started to blur the street lights smeared into long yellow streaks my hand felt very heavy
29:18i looked down at the bottle in my lap and thought distantly that something was wrong what
29:26the thought didn't finish i slumped sideways and the world went out like a light
29:33in the front seat damien watched me through the mirror his easy smile had changed into something else
29:39entirely something that had been waiting behind it all along sweet little mia you have no idea what's
29:47coming for you or for my arrogant half brother we're on our way have the island ready outside the
29:57city light slid past and fell behind us and emilio's mansion disappeared into the dark and i was gone
30:02before i knew i'd been taken i woke up to the sound of ocean that was wrong i lived in
30:10the city the city
30:12didn't sound like that steady and vast and indifferent like breathing from a long way away i lay still for
30:18a moment with my eyes closed waiting for the world to reassemble itself into something familiar
30:23it didn't i opened my eyes an unfamiliar room whitewashed walls wooden shutters light coming in
30:30sideways in gold not a hotel not anywhere i'd ever been i got up and went to the window trees
30:37ocean nothing
30:39else in any direction the door opened behind me good you're awake i turned around
30:47he was standing in the frame hands in his pockets looking pleased with himself in that particular way
30:53that meant something had gone exactly according to plan where am i somewhere no one can find you
30:59not even my brother the memory came back all at once
31:04the car the water the bottle in my hand the edges of the window blurring you kidnapped me smart
31:12girl i see why emilio kept you around but not smart enough he moved into the room and i stepped
31:21back
31:21until the wall found me he told me about palacio not the way i'd understood it franco as emilio's enemy
31:31using me as a pawn damian had been behind franco the whole time he'd found my cousin the moment he
31:36ran my background check he'd built the trap handed tomas to franco and watched the whole thing play
31:40out from inside emilio's house franco palano was a idiot but he was a useful one until your cartel king
31:47shot him in the head my cousin died because of you his expression didn't change i slapped him his head
31:56snapped sideways a beat of absolute silence then he turned back and the easy smile was gone replaced
32:02by something that had always been underneath it he grabbed my throat and slammed me into the wall
32:09you're lucky i need you or i'd choke the life out of you right now his eyes moved over me
32:16in a way
32:16that made my skin crawl if my cold-hearted brother is obsessed with you there must be something worth
32:22exploring he leaned in i bit him hard he pulled back with a snarl and i saw his arm draw
32:33back don't
32:34please i'm pregnant his fist stopped the room went very quiet demian stared at me the hiri draining out
32:41of his face and being replaced by something more dangerous calculation you're pregnant with emilio's
32:47baby i nodded my throat ached where his hand had been he stepped back then he started laughing
32:53really laughing the kind that fills a room and i stood against the wall and watched him and felt
32:58a cold creeping dread oh this is gold palami actually pulled it off i thought his plan to
33:03knock you up was ridiculous emilio would never never what there's a rumor he's infertile maybe it's
33:08real maybe he spread it so women wouldn't chase him either way you and that baby just changed
33:13everything he headed for the door still grinning what are you going to do to me he turned one hand
33:19on the frame relax i was gonna let my men have some fun with you but now i need that
33:28baby unharmed
33:31he told me about the island pacific private surrounded by his army and buried in the ground all around the
33:40house explosives enough to bring everything down triggered by a detonator he kept on his person
33:46if emilio tries anything boom then he left me there i slid down the wall and sat on the floor
33:53and tried to think the ocean kept making its vast in a myrient sound outside the shuttered window
34:00you're on a private pacific island surrounded by a full army with bombs underneath you i pressed both
34:07hands flat against my stomach i'm going to get us out of here i didn't know if that was true
34:12i said
34:13it anyway because someone had to i thought about the note emilio had tucked into a nursing school
34:19envelope i listened to everything you say i thought about the way he'd lifted me out of franco's building
34:25like i was something worth carrying i thought about his fist closing around my ring find me i thought
34:31please find me the door stayed closed the ocean kept breathing i stayed on the floor and i waited
34:41on the third night a hand touched my shoulder i jolted awake already pulling back already opening
34:47my mouth to scream and a hand covered it a familiar weight a familiar smell mia it's me a voice
34:53in my ear
34:54barely a breath i collapsed into him he held me for exactly three seconds his arms around me his chin
35:01on my head the realness of him solid and overwhelming and then he pulled back and cupped my face and
35:06checked me the way he checked me in the warehouse all those months ago systematic and frantic at the
35:11same time are you hurt no how did serena and your mafia princess friend has a helicopter he pressed his
35:18lips to my forehead quick and fierce follow my lead we're heading to the chopper stay close stay quiet
35:22he had a gun in his hand he opened the door checked the corridor and guided me out into the
35:26dark
35:29we made it 30 feet damien's voice came from ahead of us easy and amused like he'd been waiting
35:35since when does the cartel king use knockout drugs to sneak in emilio stopped gun raised since when do
35:43you skip dinner
35:47damien stepped out of the shadows in his hand raised between two fingers like a cigarette
35:53was the detonator since the day dad handed you the cartel his thumb hovered over the button
36:01emilio moved in front of me without thinking about it blocking me with his body drop the gun brother
36:10emilio dropped it you want the cartel fine i'll give it to you i don't want the stupid mob it's
36:18you it's always been you his voice had broken open and underneath the ease and the planning and the
36:23long patient game was something rawr something that had been sitting in that house for years growing in
36:29dark then take me do whatever you want but let me a go don't drag her into this
36:37it happened in less than a second emilio crossing the corridor in two strides shoulder dropping
36:41crashing into his brother the detonator flew from damien's hand but damio's smile came back
36:46colder than before no your offspring isn't getting out today either he turned to me slowly and in that
36:55moment nothing in his face was the cartel king nothing was the man who made rooms go silent and
37:00had people removed he just looked at me like i was the only thing in the room that mattered you're
37:05pregnant i nodded his jaw set he turned back to damien not happening
37:16then we all die his thumb moved emilio lunged he of them hit the window behind them and went
37:23through it in a shower of glass and frame and night air
37:33silence then the night outside was just the ocean and the dark and the sound of my own breathing
37:39ragged and desperate i ran for the door
37:44they were both on the ground outside unconscious not moving damien face down in the dirt emilio on his
37:53back with his eyes closed and one arm thrown wide and glass in his hair i heard voices serena
37:59marco running toward me i dropped to my knees beside emilio
38:06emilio emilio wake up we have to go
38:10mia marco was already beside me hands on emilio's chest pressing and counting i sat there and held
38:18emilio's hand and watched marco's face and couldn't breathe come back come back
38:30emilio coughed his chest heaved his eyes opened everyone let out a breath at the same time i'm okay
38:40we need to move he started to get up i helped him my hands shaking choppers ready this way emilio
38:48stood
38:49unsteady and looked at damien's limp body
38:53you go ahead i need to finish him
38:59i'm not leaving you you want to watch me shoot my own brother i don't care you're pregnant mia
39:09go his voice was gentle but final the voice that meant he'd already decided promise you'll come
39:16i promise serena took my arm i let her pull me away looking back over my shoulder at emilio standing
39:22over his brother in the dark he didn't look back at me he was already somewhere else somewhere cold
39:27and necessary he's going to be fine he's emilio reyes we were 20 yards from the house then 30.
39:33the helicopter was somewhere ahead its blades beginning to turn i kept walking he promised he
39:38promised he promised
39:43the world turned white the sound hit me a full second after the light a wall of pressure and
39:48noise that knocked me sideways serena's grip tearing loose i turned around the house was on fire
39:56not catching fire already fire instant and total a column of flame reaching up into the dark sky
40:02the windows gone the roof already folding the air tasted like smoke
40:08i couldn't move serena was saying something marco was saying something the helicopter blades were louder
40:14now someone was pulling at my arm and i couldn't move because emilio was in that house and he had
40:19promised and he was in that house no the word came out of me like something being torn out no
40:26serena had both arms around me from behind holding me back i fought her i don't remember deciding to
40:31fight her my body just refused to go anywhere without him marco was already running back toward the
40:40burning house calling into his radio i stopped fighting i just stood there in serena's arms and
40:46watched the fire eat the house and felt the heat on my face and thought about a man in a
40:50study saying
40:51i listened to everything you say and a man in a corridor with his shoulder dropping in his body
40:55going through glass going through glass to keep a detonator out of his brother's hand going through
41:00glass for me the flames climbed higher the night was orange and black i pressed both hands over the
41:07small life inside me and i waited and i waited and i waited and no one came
41:15five months later that's what the subtitle would say if my life were a movie five months later a neat
41:22jump cut all the grief and the waiting and the nights i lay awake with one hand on my stomach
41:28and
41:28the other pressed to my mouth to keep quiet compressed into three words and a hard cut to a woman
41:33on a
41:34street corner in white gloves me i'm eight months pregnant and i'm wearing white gloves and i'm
41:40standing on a sidewalk watching a homeless man run he thinks he's running from the two cars that boxed him
41:45in he's not he's running from me the car door opens i step out damien stops he looks older thinner
41:58five
41:58months on the street will do that five months knowing that the woman whose house you burnt out is carrying
42:03the air to the reyes cartel and is looking for you that will do it too i pull off one
42:08gloves
42:09finger by finger hello brother-in-law
42:15my men take him before he can speak
42:19wait mia we should talk yes we should
42:27the basement of the reyes mansion is very quiet i had diaz repaint it new lighting a good chair for
42:34me to sit in positioned at exactly the right distance i learned from the best after all i
42:39watched emilio run this house for months i know how it's done i sit with my legs grapes crossed and
42:45my
42:45hands folded over my stomach and i watched two of my men work
42:50damien screams he begs he says my name like it's a password that will open a door like some part
42:56of
42:56him still believes i'm the nursing student from the fast food restaurant who cried on a sofa and
43:00couldn't look emilio in the eye i'm not her anymore make this stop please i give the men a look
43:07they hit
43:08harder after a while i raise a hand and they stop the basement goes quiet except for damien's raggled
43:14breathing and the distant sound of the city outside i stand up and walk over to him
43:21tell me where he is damien looks up at me through blood his smile is still there somehow cracked and
43:29terrible come closer i'll tell you
43:35i leaned down his mouth was near my ear and i stayed perfectly still and waited he's rotting in hell
43:44just like you will be you stupid i straightened up i pulled the gun from the back of my waistband
43:52the one diego had started leaving on my night state three months ago
43:56after the first two attempts on my life after i'd started running this operation alone
44:01and i shot damien once he slumped i stood there for a moment and looked at him
44:06emilio's brother the man who had built every trap i'd walked into
44:10the man who had burned down the house with emilio inside it
44:13then i peeled off the other glove folded both of them together and walked out
44:20diego was waiting in the rordo with a package mail address to your name ma'am he held it out
44:26the label read mia espinoza i frowned i thought i changed my last name on everything could be from
44:33before
44:36i took it
44:40i opened it in the study
44:43a file legal documents a will notarized witness dated three months before leshia died
44:50i read the first page and had to sit down one hundred million dollars her actual inheritance
44:56not the fabricated clause amizio had invented to get me into his house the real thing the money she'd
45:01spent her life accumulating and had always meant to give to the niece she wrote letters to and called
45:06her girl where it all started i thought diego stood near the door mr reyes would have found you
45:12regardless of the inheritance sounds like him i turned to the last page and a small piece of paper
45:22fell out folded once the size of a fortune cookie slip i picked it up the handwriting was emilio's
45:27i'd seen it on a hundred things notes contracts the margin of a book he'd left open on the kitchen
45:32counter i'd have known it anywhere it said love at first sight i sat there holding that small piece
45:37of paper for a long time then i pressed it against my chest and closed my eyes i'll find you
45:42emirio reyes
45:43wherever you are
45:47he was in sicily i didn't know that yet i knew it the way you know things when you've been
45:52running
45:52someone's empire for five months and you've learned to read diego's face there was somewhere he wouldn't
45:57look some piece of information that lived just behind his careful professional expression but he
46:02wouldn't tell me and i understood why emirio had told him not to so i waited on a balcony
46:10overlooking the mediterranean a man in a wheelchair watched the ocean he'd been watching it for weeks
46:16the light changed the water changed he watched it all with the patience of someone who has decided
46:22not to go anywhere until they're ready serena flew to sicily on a tuesday she found him on the
46:28balcony thinner than she'd left him the ocean wind moving through his hair she dropped a photograph
46:33on his lap without greeting him first in the photo damien dead emilio picked up the photo looked at it
46:41for a long moment that's my girl she's gonna be pissed if you're not there when she gives birth
46:49i can't see her like this you could show up as a worm and she'd still love you i'm tired
46:55of lying to
46:56my best friend again she'll forgive you serena ground and sat down on the low wall beside his chair
47:04the mediterranean was the specific blue it gets in the late afternoon almost violet at the edges
47:09come back with me tomorrow i'm flying out in the morning no emilio i'll return when i can stand on
47:16my own
47:16feet i want her to know i'm still the man who can protect her and our baby serena stared at
47:23him for
47:23a long moment toxic masculinity from a cartel king who would have thought a beat you know you're kind
47:29of cute in a wheelchair don't let your bodyguard hear that he helps me to the bathroom serena laughed
47:36a real laugh surprised out of her she stood up and kissed the top of his head don't take too
47:40long
47:41she walked out emilio stayed on the balcony until the light was gone
47:49he reached into his pocket the ring was small and cold and familiar mia's engagement ring the
47:56one she'd placed in his palm in the bedroom and walked away from he'd been carrying it since that
48:01night through the crash through the window through however many surgeries he didn't fully remember
48:06through the months of physical therapy on this balcony overlooking the sea he turned it in his
48:11fingers he thought about the night in the alley when he'd looked up from the pavement and seen a
48:14woman he'd never met pressing gons to his chest and telling him to stop moving or he'd bleed more
48:18he'd been half dead and delirious and he thought i know you i don't know you yet but i know
48:22you
48:22lietia had talked about her for years her niece the nursing student the girl who sent letters and called
48:28every sunday and had her mother's stubbornness and her own fierce particular kindness he'd carried the shape of
48:34her before he knew her face he closed his hand around the ring i'm coming back to you mia the
48:40ocean
48:40was dark now the stars were coming out one by one over sicily i'm coming back
48:50two months later i thought giving birth at home would be easier i was wrong it's never easy
48:56i hate you i hate you emilio reyes almost there one more push i hate you i pushed the world
49:05split
49:06open and then there was a sound small and indignant and completely certain of itself and the doctor
49:12was saying something i couldn't hear and someone was crying and i thought it might be me ma'am you
49:17need to stay with us you haven't seen your baby but i'm just so tired i was tired in a
49:22way i had
49:23never been tired before down into the marrow my body suddenly hollow and enormous at the same time
49:28stay stay you have to stay my eyes closed someone said my name i tried to hold on then at
49:35the edge of
49:36the light a silhouette appeared in the doorway not diego not serena not a doctor a silhouette that moved
49:44the way only one person in my life had ever moved he was standing on his own feet that was
49:51the first
49:51thing i registered not that he was there not even that he was alive but that he was standing on
49:55his
49:56own two feet in the doorway of my hospital room wearing clothes i didn't recognize thinner than
50:00i remembered with a look on his face that i had no word for mia my name in his voice
50:05i had been so tired
50:06a moment ago the darkness had been pulling me down and i had been letting it because i didn't have
50:10anything left to fight with but my eyes opened emilio he crossed the room he dropped to his knees
50:17beside the bed he took my face in both hands and pressed his forehead to mine i felt him shaking
50:21this man who never shook who never showed anything who had spent 32 years building a wall around
50:24himself and had spent six months tearing it down for me he was shaking somewhere behind him a baby
50:28was crying our baby ours you came i told you i was coming back outside the hospital window the city
50:34was beginning its ordinary morning entirely aware that something fundamental had just changed
50:38inside i closed my eyes and held on to him and listened to the small indignant perfect sound
50:43of our daughter announcing herself to the world we were here both of us finally
50:50this is what i know now i know that love is not the clean safe thing i thought it would
50:54be
50:54when i was 22 and working at a fast food counter and keeping a wish list of what my life
50:58was supposed
50:59to become i thought love would feel like arriving somewhere i thought it would be warm and certain
51:03and uncomplicated it is none of those things it is a man pressing gauze to a wound in a back
51:10room
51:12it is a ring in a palm and a door closing and a house going up in flames it is
51:18five months of running
51:19an empire i didn't ask for learning the weight of a gun and the patience required to wait for someone
51:24who
51:25promised to come back he is not a good man in the simple sense i know what he runs and
51:30what it costs
51:31and i have made my peace with the distance between who he is out there and who he is in
51:35this room
51:37holding our daughter like she's the most fragile and important thing he's ever been handed he is
51:42sitting in the chair beside my bed and she is asleep on his chest and he is not looking at
51:45anything in
51:46the room except her she has his dark eyes she has already even at one day old a particular expression
51:52of absolute conviction that i recognize from watching him walk into rooms i saved a man in an alley once
51:58i was 22 and afraid and i had no idea what i was saving him into best mistake i ever
52:03made
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