- 15 hours ago
Good Girls Gone Wild RS Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:31Oh, my dad.
00:00:39...to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:40I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:46So...
00:00:51...more, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52Um, I think...
00:00:54So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:58I do.
00:00:59Um, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:01:02Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:05Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:08You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:10What?
00:01:11But you can't.
00:01:12I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:15Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:17You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:20This is bad.
00:01:22You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:23She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:46So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:50Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:54But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:56I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital,
00:01:59we've done something new and special,
00:02:00but this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:03So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:06Mushrooms?
00:02:07No, not like that.
00:02:09Like something nice.
00:02:11Like maybe a trip.
00:02:12Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:14No.
00:02:17Sorry, Sue.
00:02:18I have a date.
00:02:19So do I.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:23We'll figure it out.
00:02:35Oh, flowers.
00:02:36Are these from you?
00:02:37Yeah, sure.
00:02:39Here you go.
00:02:42No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:43I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:46I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:52Oh, Jake.
00:02:57Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:59Uh, no, Jake.
00:03:00Not yet.
00:03:01When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:04The best night of my life.
00:03:06It will be.
00:03:06I promise.
00:03:08It'll always be amazing.
00:03:09With you and me.
00:03:11Together.
00:03:19Jake, no.
00:03:20I have to go.
00:03:21I have to work on my art project.
00:03:23You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should've
00:03:27taken more math.
00:03:30Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:32The Saturday?
00:03:33Of course.
00:03:38Thanks.
00:03:40Okay.
00:03:41Bye.
00:03:50Nothing.
00:03:50Nothing.
00:03:51Nothing.
00:03:51Nothing.
00:03:52Oh, baby.
00:03:53You're so hot.
00:03:54I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:56Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:57What was your name again?
00:03:58Rod.
00:03:59The sex guy.
00:04:05Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:08You're right, I bet.
00:04:16Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20Does not compute.
00:04:22Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:28Oh, huh.
00:04:29Hi.
00:04:31When did you go home?
00:04:33So, is it true?
00:04:34Yes, it is.
00:04:35It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:40I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of
00:04:47him.
00:04:47So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:50Lexi, tell her.
00:04:51Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:54On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:57Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 28th.
00:05:03Maybe.
00:05:05Listen guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:12I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:21But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:23We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:26Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:30It's not Jake.
00:05:32It's the male ideal.
00:05:34Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:38Right.
00:05:40Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:42I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:43I'm not really an artist.
00:05:44Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:46The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day and I'm just not
00:05:51ready yet.
00:05:52I'm waiting for a sign and then I'll know what's right.
00:05:55Look, I can go either way.
00:05:57I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:02I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:05Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:09But, if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:13You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:20Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:23To church.
00:06:24To pray for you.
00:06:25I want to be first in line.
00:06:27I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:29Yeah, me too.
00:06:39Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:41It's been four days since my last confession.
00:06:43I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:47Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:55I mean, not me.
00:06:56I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:59Aww.
00:07:01I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:02Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:05But I was dressing him up as Jesus and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:10But there was nothing there.
00:07:14Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:15My best friends.
00:07:18They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:20Okay.
00:07:21Third base.
00:07:23What?
00:07:24No.
00:07:25Like, sex.
00:07:26Like, intercourse.
00:07:28With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:29I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:31If you know what I mean.
00:07:32All the way.
00:07:33Go all the way.
00:07:35What are you...
00:07:37What are you...
00:07:40How could you do so?
00:07:43You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:47What?
00:07:52Yes.
00:07:53Yes.
00:07:55Run.
00:07:56Run.
00:07:56Home route.
00:07:58Ah.
00:07:59Damn it.
00:08:01Fucking Yankees.
00:08:04Sorry.
00:08:27Sue.
00:08:28It is 1pm.
00:08:30Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:32I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:34Geez.
00:08:34Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:38I have an announcement to make.
00:08:39I want to do it.
00:08:41Do you hear me?
00:08:42I want to do it.
00:08:45This weekend.
00:08:46On our birthday.
00:08:47Do what?
00:08:50It.
00:08:50Screw.
00:08:52Screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:54You know.
00:08:55Shagging.
00:08:56Fucking.
00:08:59You do.
00:09:01But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:03And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:05Oh, I got a sign.
00:09:07At church.
00:09:08Really?
00:09:09Well.
00:09:10Okay, great.
00:09:12We're all in then.
00:09:14So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:17Right?
00:09:19Right.
00:09:21I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:30Hey, Frank.
00:09:32Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:35Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:37I don't know.
00:09:38Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:39Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:41Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:47We'll be back.
00:09:49Hey.
00:09:50Um, I was wondering.
00:09:51We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:54It's for our birthday.
00:09:55Do you want to come?
00:09:56Do you think he can see up my shirt?
00:10:09Well, the house looks done.
00:10:12Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:14We finally turn 18.
00:10:15And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:18Well, we better get our beauty sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:21So, okay.
00:10:22We know who Cheryl's gonna do it with.
00:10:24Jake.
00:10:25And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:27But Sue, who are you gonna pick?
00:10:28To pop your chair.
00:10:30It's easy.
00:10:31I've known for the past six years.
00:10:32Ever since catechism.
00:10:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:37I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:40Yeah.
00:10:48My soul mate.
00:10:51Chris?
00:10:53Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:58I mean...
00:10:58What?
00:10:58No.
00:10:59Chris is perfect.
00:11:00He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:11:03Plus, his name's Chris.
00:11:05It's a sign.
00:11:06Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:11What?
00:11:11He does not.
00:11:13Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:15He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:17With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:21Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:24Chris is my soul mate.
00:11:26Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:29See you in the morning.
00:11:37I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:38I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:09You're so perfect.
00:12:41I was so perfect.
00:12:44And I knew that's what I look like.
00:13:02Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:18Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:19Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:39Oh, my gosh.
00:13:41They're coming.
00:13:43Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:48Ew, why?
00:13:49It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:51It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:53I'm gonna start.
00:13:54You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:56It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:57It's stupid.
00:13:59Just screw him.
00:14:00That's what he wants.
00:14:01That's what all guys want.
00:14:02Who hurt you as a child?
00:14:03Oh, Christ.
00:14:05I'm gonna wrap your mouth, too.
00:14:07Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:14:10not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:12You're an idiot.
00:14:13A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:17Seriously, come on.
00:14:18Hurry up.
00:14:24Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:26I love it.
00:14:28Um...
00:14:29You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:14:31It's really...
00:14:31Very fragile.
00:14:32Yeah.
00:14:33Set it down.
00:14:34Hurry up.
00:14:35Hey.
00:14:35Hey.
00:14:36Hey.
00:14:38Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:39Yeah.
00:14:40Okay.
00:14:40Let's go.
00:15:00Woaah!
00:15:00Oh, Jesus.
00:15:01Whoa!
00:15:03Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:15:05Tag of the wet T-Shirts, nice!
00:15:07Yes!
00:15:08Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:15:09Oh, fuck!
00:15:16Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:19No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:22That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:26And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:29Oh, how did you know?
00:15:31I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:39Poster is such a beauty.
00:15:41Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:43All right, sorry. Are you okay now?
00:15:45Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:46Okay, we'll see you later.
00:15:51I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:52This is crazy.
00:15:54Jake! Hi!
00:15:56Hey, babe.
00:15:57Happy birthday.
00:16:00Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:03What? You want a beer?
00:16:07No.
00:16:11Oh, hon.
00:16:13Yeah.
00:16:16I have your present here.
00:16:17I'll give it to you later.
00:16:19The time's right.
00:16:21Aw.
00:16:21You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:23And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:29Hey, Ralph.
00:16:30We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:33We'll bet.
00:16:37All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:39Hey.
00:16:40Hey.
00:16:41How you doing?
00:16:42Hey.
00:16:51Check it out!
00:16:53Dare me?
00:17:10Oh, dude.
00:17:10Look at those.
00:17:11Are those real?
00:17:12I don't...
00:17:12Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:14Hey!
00:17:14Ah, dude!
00:17:15Move!
00:17:15Come on!
00:17:16Lame!
00:17:17Oh.
00:17:17All right.
00:17:18Okay.
00:17:18I'll see you guys later.
00:17:19Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:21Aw, the moves.
00:17:2120 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:25Yeah!
00:17:27They're fake anyways.
00:17:29Who cares?
00:17:30Okay.
00:17:32Okay.
00:17:34Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:36I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:41Sue, no.
00:17:41It's your birthday.
00:17:42Here, let me.
00:17:43Joanna, no.
00:17:44Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:46It's not.
00:17:48Open.
00:17:50Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:53I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:57Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:58I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:59It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:12Are these real?
00:18:14Of course they are.
00:18:16How come I haven't even met you before?
00:18:18I don't know.
00:18:19Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:18:20Fine.
00:18:20Have you seen Jake?
00:18:22Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:25Maybe upstairs.
00:18:26I don't know.
00:18:27Oh.
00:18:28Maybe he went to go get my birthday present.
00:18:29That's probably where he went.
00:18:32Go roll.
00:18:35Liquid courage?
00:18:36Yeah.
00:18:37Atta girl.
00:18:41Vodka cranberry?
00:18:42It's really simple.
00:18:45Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:47I can go meet around.
00:18:49Sue?
00:18:50Are you okay?
00:18:51Sue?
00:18:52Relax.
00:18:54They're just nice.
00:18:56Okay.
00:18:56Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:57Seriously.
00:18:58Gonna be fine.
00:18:59Is Chris here?
00:19:05Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:07No.
00:19:08He does not have gateways.
00:19:10I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:12I'm gonna do it.
00:19:18Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:21No.
00:19:22He does not have gateways.
00:19:24I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:25I'm gonna do it.
00:19:26I'm gonna do this.
00:19:28Good luck.
00:19:31Hey, you can do this.
00:19:33Just act like a slut.
00:19:37Just pretend.
00:19:39Here, Lux.
00:19:46Yeah, my favorite chapter is Tom and Glore.
00:19:50Chris.
00:19:51Hi.
00:19:52Can I talk to you?
00:19:54Uh-huh.
00:19:55Um, in private?
00:19:57Oh.
00:20:10Hey, Lexi.
00:20:11Hey, Lexi.
00:20:12What?
00:20:13Chris.
00:20:15You're so sexy.
00:20:18Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:20I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:24And I really want to...
00:20:27Oh!
00:20:28What are you doing?
00:20:29Is that wrong?
00:20:30Sue!
00:20:30What's gotten into you?
00:20:32Nothing.
00:20:32I'm sorry.
00:20:33I don't know how to do this.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:37Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:40I understand these urges.
00:20:44And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:48Really?
00:20:49You do?
00:20:50I do.
00:20:50I really do.
00:20:52I like you too.
00:20:54Really?
00:20:55You do?
00:20:55I do.
00:20:56I really do.
00:20:58It's just...
00:21:00I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:21:05Right.
00:21:06Lexi said you were...
00:21:07Jesus.
00:21:08Oh.
00:21:09That man.
00:21:10Of course.
00:21:11What did you think?
00:21:13Oh, nothing.
00:21:14So we can still do this then?
00:21:17Oh, Sue.
00:21:19You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him
00:21:28up there on that cross.
00:21:30So helpless.
00:21:32Yet so...
00:21:34Muscular.
00:21:36With his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth.
00:21:47Growing so hot.
00:21:49So sweaty.
00:21:50Under that hot, hot sun.
00:21:53I just feel such compassion.
00:21:57I think about those things too.
00:21:59So you understand why I can't do this?
00:22:03Not really.
00:22:04I just find it too hard.
00:22:06It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:15So...
00:22:25We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:26Andy, we're gonna totally throw these on.
00:22:28Hey, hi.
00:22:29Whoa!
00:22:31Have you seen Jake?
00:22:32Uh, no.
00:22:33No.
00:22:34No.
00:22:34All right.
00:22:37Okay.
00:22:38All right.
00:22:39Focus.
00:22:39Focus.
00:22:39Focus.
00:22:40Focus.
00:22:41No.
00:22:42No.
00:22:45Oh, there he is.
00:22:49Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:59Ah!
00:23:04How could he?
00:23:09Sue, what happened?
00:23:11Did you guys do it?
00:23:12Sue?
00:23:14He doesn't want me.
00:23:15Because he's gay.
00:23:17No, he's not.
00:23:18He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:20Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:22The only reason we even liked him
00:23:24is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:27Look, the only way you're gonna find out
00:23:30what kind of man you really want
00:23:31is to know what kind of woman you really are
00:23:35deep inside.
00:23:36What?
00:23:37Come with me.
00:23:39Where?
00:23:39To meet your dark side.
00:23:43Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:47Out.
00:23:48Everyone out.
00:23:58Sue, it's time for you and your vagina
00:24:01to meet face to face.
00:24:13I really can't.
00:24:15I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:18I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:23I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:28Sue?
00:24:29Sue?
00:24:29Can you see it?
00:24:32Sue?
00:24:35I'm almost...
00:24:37I'm almost there.
00:24:41Oh!
00:24:43What?
00:24:45What?
00:24:46Sue, what happened?
00:24:47What did you see?
00:24:48A raccoon?
00:24:50What?
00:24:51You overshot it.
00:24:53Aim the mirror further up.
00:25:01I can't.
00:25:02Please don't make me do that again.
00:25:03Okay, fine.
00:25:04Fine.
00:25:06I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:09What?
00:25:10You really need an orgasm.
00:25:12Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never
00:25:16even had it with yourself.
00:25:18This really has to be your first step.
00:25:20Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:21Coming.
00:25:22Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:25Just find it and use it.
00:25:27Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:29It's black.
00:25:30It vibrates.
00:25:33Come on, Rod.
00:25:34Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:37And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:51Hey, cutie!
00:25:52Cutie!
00:25:58Bullseye!
00:25:59Oh, yeah!
00:26:03Bang.
00:26:04Bang.
00:26:05Bang.
00:26:07Good boy.
00:26:08Straighten up.
00:26:09Good boy.
00:26:11Good boy.
00:26:12He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:15I'm sorry.
00:26:16I can't see anything.
00:26:18That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:20What a bitch.
00:26:21Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:51Oh, shit.
00:26:56What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:59Correct hit.
00:27:15Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:18Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:20He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:23For sure?
00:27:25I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:27so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:29That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:32No, it's awful.
00:27:34I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:41It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:45Okay. He's looking for you.
00:27:47He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:50Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:52I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:53No, you can't just leave.
00:27:55Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:58I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:00No.
00:28:00He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:04Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:05I see only one option.
00:28:07He's looking for you.
00:28:08He wants to give you your...
00:28:11I'm leaving.
00:28:12Revenge sex.
00:28:13Birthday gift.
00:28:14Oh, I can't face him.
00:28:15Um, I have to go. I'm going.
00:28:17No, you can't just leave.
00:28:19Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing's...
00:28:23Re... I mean, what?
00:28:24What does that even mean?
00:28:24It happened.
00:28:25I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:28:27It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake...
00:28:31He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:28:34Either way, it's bullshit.
00:28:35I see only one option.
00:28:38I'm leaving.
00:28:39Revenge sex.
00:28:41Re... I mean, what?
00:28:42What does that even mean?
00:28:45I catch you.
00:28:48It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:29:02But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:29:06He doesn't even care about me.
00:29:07I mean, why would...
00:29:08He's just into other girls.
00:29:09Trust me, he'll care.
00:29:12Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:29:14To his ego.
00:29:15To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:29:19Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a person.
00:29:22Bigger dick.
00:29:24No, I couldn't.
00:29:26Plus, I mean, there's...
00:29:27There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:29:30Eric!
00:29:31He's perfect!
00:29:32Eric Hall?
00:29:33Are you kidding?
00:29:34I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:29:37He likes your type.
00:29:38Really?
00:29:38And what type is that?
00:29:40He's bloody.
00:29:42Yeah.
00:29:43Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:44I fooled around with him once.
00:29:45He has this great tongue, right?
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:51Okay, then.
00:29:52Fine.
00:29:52We will find someone else.
00:29:54Someone that I haven't...
00:29:56Fooled around.
00:30:00Okay, what does it matter?
00:30:01That I fooled around with him?
00:30:03I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:30:05No, I just couldn't do it.
00:30:07Fine.
00:30:08If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:30:11thing,
00:30:12to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,
00:30:15and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:30:17and you chose not to do it,
00:30:19go ahead.
00:30:20But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:30:24I don't know.
00:30:32Trust me.
00:30:34It's going to work.
00:30:40I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:44Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:45Okay, enough to chat with her.
00:30:47Oh, no.
00:30:49No.
00:30:50No.
00:30:58Hey.
00:31:00Happy birthday.
00:31:02Thanks.
00:31:25Have you guys seen Jake?
00:31:32So, happy birthday.
00:31:35Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:31:44But it's actually from us.
00:31:46U.S.
00:31:47America?
00:31:50United States?
00:31:51I know where we live.
00:31:53Right.
00:31:53Of course.
00:32:01Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you going to make your move or not?
00:32:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:32:09Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:32:10I just...
00:32:11No, you're fine.
00:32:23Are you the guy?
00:32:25No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:26Fine.
00:32:27If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right
00:32:31thing,
00:32:31to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest
00:32:36of his existence,
00:32:37and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:40But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:44I don't know.
00:32:47But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:51I don't know.
00:32:52I don't know.
00:32:53Trust me.
00:32:53It's going to work.
00:32:59I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:03Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:04We're all okay enough to chat with her.
00:33:06Oh, no.
00:33:18Hey.
00:33:20Happy birthday.
00:33:22Thanks.
00:33:44Have you guys seen Jake?
00:33:51So, happy birthday.
00:33:55Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:33:59But it's actually from us.
00:34:01U.S.
00:34:02America?
00:34:05United States?
00:34:06I know where we live.
00:34:08Right.
00:34:09Of course.
00:34:13I know where we live.
00:34:14Right.
00:34:15Of course.
00:34:20Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:34:21Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:23Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:24Yeah, no.
00:34:24I can totally move.
00:34:25I just...
00:34:26No.
00:34:26You're fine.
00:34:29You're fine.
00:34:39Jake!
00:34:42So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:34:44Oh.
00:34:45I'm sorry.
00:34:46It?
00:34:50Monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:34:53What?
00:34:54Um...
00:34:54It.
00:34:55Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:07Oh.
00:35:08Oh.
00:35:08You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:12I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:14You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:17Yeah, sure.
00:35:18I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:35:20Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:23I mean...
00:35:24Whew.
00:35:26Uh...
00:35:28It's just...
00:35:29You're so...
00:35:32You're so beautiful.
00:35:34Okay.
00:35:34Um...
00:35:35Mm-hmm?
00:35:36Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:38Right.
00:35:39Um, of course.
00:35:41Sorry?
00:35:45So, um...
00:35:46Do you want to unwrap me?
00:35:49Oh, wow.
00:35:50Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:35:54Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:35:56You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:00Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:02You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:05Organic.
00:36:06Yep.
00:36:09So, the wrap.
00:36:10Right.
00:36:12Um...
00:36:13Oh, where's the, uh...
00:36:14It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:36:17Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:36:17Yeah.
00:36:18I see it.
00:36:19Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:22Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:23Oh, sorry.
00:36:23Sorry, sorry.
00:36:24I, um...
00:36:25It's...
00:36:25It's okay.
00:36:26Here.
00:36:27Do it again.
00:36:29Sorry, I, uh...
00:36:30I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:32You know what?
00:36:32Let me just lay on the bed.
00:36:36Okay.
00:36:40Uh, let me just see.
00:36:44Oh, here it is.
00:36:45I got it.
00:36:46All right.
00:36:46It's, um...
00:36:47United States?
00:36:48Uh, I know where we live.
00:36:50Right.
00:36:51Of course.
00:36:55Uh, I know where we live.
00:36:56Right.
00:36:57Of course.
00:37:02Hold it.
00:37:03Hold it, I just...
00:37:04Ah!
00:37:05Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:37:06Are you gonna make your move or not?
00:37:08Oh, you want me to move?
00:37:09Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:37:10I just...
00:37:11No, you're fine.
00:37:16Oh, jeez.
00:37:17Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:18You okay?
00:37:31Uh...
00:37:33Jake!
00:37:36So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:39I'm sorry.
00:37:40It...
00:37:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:44What, um...
00:37:45It.
00:37:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:37:52Oh.
00:37:53Oh, you mean, like, uh...
00:37:56Oh, jeez.
00:37:58Eric.
00:37:59Right now?
00:38:00I mean, well, yeah.
00:38:02You know, the sooner the better.
00:38:05Yeah, sure.
00:38:06I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:38:08Um, I just never realized that you...
00:38:10I mean...
00:38:15It's just...
00:38:17You're so...
00:38:23You're so beautiful.
00:38:24Okay, um, no cuisine.
00:38:29Right, um, of course.
00:38:32Sorry.
00:38:36Well, that was stupid.
00:38:38So, um, do you wanna unwrap me?
00:38:43Oh, wow.
00:38:44Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket,
00:38:46or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:38:48Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:38:51You're fresh.
00:38:59Organic.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:03Yep.
00:39:06So, the wrap.
00:39:07Right.
00:39:10Um, where's the, uh...
00:39:14It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.
00:39:17Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:39:18Uh, it's where I see it.
00:39:19Um, let me just, uh...
00:39:22Ow, ow, ow.
00:39:23Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:39:24I, I, I, I...
00:39:25It's okay.
00:39:26It's okay.
00:39:27Do it again.
00:39:29Sorry, I, I, I, uh...
00:39:30I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:39:32You know what?
00:39:32Let me just lay on the bed.
00:39:36How you doing tonight?
00:39:39Okay.
00:39:41Having a good time?
00:39:42Yeah, you're good.
00:39:43Jake!
00:39:46Uh, let me just see.
00:39:50Oh, here it is.
00:39:51I got it.
00:39:51All right.
00:39:52Just, um, pull it.
00:39:54Let me just...
00:39:55Ah!
00:39:56Oh!
00:39:58Oh, geez.
00:39:59Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:40:01You okay?
00:40:01Help!
00:40:01Help!
00:40:04Uh...
00:40:05I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:08What?
00:40:08Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:40:10Oh, geez.
00:40:16Well, that was stupid.
00:40:21Yeah.
00:40:23What?
00:40:23I can't hear you.
00:40:30How you doing tonight?
00:40:32You having a good time?
00:40:33Yeah?
00:40:34You good?
00:40:34Jake!
00:40:35I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:40:38What?
00:40:38I can't hear you.
00:40:41I didn't have a beer.
00:40:42Chips are so damn salty.
00:40:47Hold on.
00:40:48Take a piss.
00:40:50Jake!
00:40:52Upstairs.
00:40:53Yeah.
00:40:54Hold on.
00:40:54Take a piss.
00:40:56How much beer?
00:40:58Come on.
00:41:23Finally!
00:41:26I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:41:29Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:30Um, don't worry about it.
00:41:33What?
00:41:34I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:41:38Oh.
00:41:40Well, okay.
00:41:41Okay.
00:42:09I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:42:26Oh.
00:42:28Well, okay.
00:42:29Okay.
00:43:15What are you doing?
00:43:16Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:43:23Um, not yet.
00:43:25More foreplay.
00:43:26Huh?
00:43:26Oh.
00:43:26Uh, I think it's so good.
00:43:41Huh?
00:43:43Yep.
00:43:44Oh, my God.
00:43:46Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:43:48What?
00:43:48What?
00:43:49Ah.
00:43:50Oh.
00:43:51Ah, yeah.
00:43:52Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:43:54Is that even a thing?
00:43:56I don't know.
00:43:58Ah.
00:43:59Are you okay?
00:44:03No, no, no, no, no.
00:44:04It's, uh, it's fine.
00:44:06I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:44:08It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:44:15You sure you're okay?
00:44:16Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:44:18Okay, great.
00:44:18Have fun.
00:44:19Oh.
00:44:26Now, let's do it now.
00:44:27No, not yet.
00:44:27Not yet.
00:44:31Now.
00:44:37All right, I'm gonna come.
00:44:38Now, let's do it now.
00:44:39No, not yet.
00:44:39Not yet.
00:44:43All right, I'm gonna come.
00:44:44I'm gonna come.
00:44:44Not yet, not yet.
00:44:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:44:47No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:44:49Lexi!
00:44:49Lexi!
00:44:50Oh!
00:44:50Shit.
00:44:51Ugh.
00:44:54No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:44:56Lexi!
00:44:57Lexi!
00:44:57Oh!
00:44:58Shit.
00:44:58Ugh.
00:44:59No means no.
00:45:01Huh?
00:45:01Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:45:03I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:45:04It's been a really long time,
00:45:05and I haven't been masturbating for anything.
00:45:11Uh-oh.
00:45:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:45:16How you doing?
00:45:18How's it going?
00:45:19Good.
00:45:20Eric?
00:45:21Come.
00:45:22Eric, help me.
00:45:23I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:45:26Excuse me.
00:45:30Cheryl's in here.
00:45:35Sup, bro?
00:45:37What the fuck is this?
00:45:40Hey, wait!
00:45:42Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:45:51Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see.
00:45:52I'm blind.
00:45:55Damn it.
00:45:59Hey, you!
00:46:01You better stop making fun of...
00:46:02I'm going to save something to that bitch.
00:46:04Hey, you!
00:46:07You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:46:09or I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:46:11Ow!
00:46:13I'm so sorry!
00:46:14I'll never make fun of the blind again!
00:46:16Ah!
00:46:17Ah!
00:46:18Ah!
00:46:20Ah!
00:46:22Ah!
00:46:23Ah!
00:46:25Ah!
00:46:25Ah!
00:46:25Ah!
00:46:26Ah!
00:46:27Ah!
00:46:28Ah!
00:46:29Ah!
00:46:29Ah!
00:46:31Ah!
00:46:42Ah!
00:46:49I can't even press these, man.
00:46:50Oh, man, no more water balloons!
00:46:52This party's ass.
00:46:56Yes.
00:46:56Yeah!
00:47:01This just isn't working on me.
00:47:04Nothing.
00:47:05What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:47:09I'm careful, man.
00:47:11A lot of sticks.
00:47:12Spark it up.
00:47:14Yes!
00:47:17Oh, man!
00:47:19I love this game!
00:47:20We're in the controllers.
00:47:21We gotta play.
00:47:21Here, here, here.
00:47:22Okay, let me find another one.
00:47:23All right, watch on!
00:47:26Whoo!
00:47:28What is this?
00:47:30Oh, my God!
00:47:31Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:47:33Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:36Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:47:42Oh.
00:47:45Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:47:47Wasn't me.
00:47:53Whoa!
00:47:53Whoa!
00:47:54Nice!
00:47:56Are you sitting in there or something?
00:47:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:48:01Nice!
00:48:01Nice!
00:48:13Do you have the extra controller?
00:48:25Whoa!
00:48:27Whoa!
00:48:28You are the controller!
00:48:29No!
00:48:30I just...
00:48:30I didn't.
00:48:32I swear, I...
00:48:36No!
00:48:36No!
00:48:39No!
00:48:43No!
00:48:44No!
00:48:44No!
00:48:44No!
00:48:45Hey, Sue!
00:48:46What are you doing, man?
00:48:49It's okay.
00:48:50Um...
00:48:50Hey, Sue!
00:49:02Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:49:03Yeah, I just needed to...
00:49:05Um...
00:49:06Oh!
00:49:06Sure.
00:49:08Listen, Sue, I...
00:49:10I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:49:13You were?
00:49:14You mean...
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:19Yeah.
00:49:20Yeah.
00:49:20Yeah.
00:49:21So you think we should give it a try?
00:49:25Could we...
00:49:28Wow, um...
00:49:29Your...
00:49:30Toilet's...
00:49:30Go get a drink?
00:49:34Wow, um...
00:49:35Your...
00:49:36Toilet's really...
00:49:37Oh...
00:49:38Clug...
00:49:38You...
00:49:39Clug...
00:49:40You...
00:49:40Do you know what?
00:49:42I...
00:49:42I gotta go.
00:49:42Um...
00:49:43Happy birthday.
00:49:44Uh, no, Chris!
00:49:45No, there wasn't!
00:49:46I didn't...
00:49:46God, never mind.
00:50:00This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:06This was the worst idea ever.
00:50:08Never going to have sex.
00:50:10Thanks.
00:50:12Ow.
00:50:31Hello?
00:50:32A little attention here.
00:50:37Hello?
00:50:38A little attention here.
00:50:42I'm here.
00:50:44Oh, yeah.
00:50:45Sorry.
00:50:54So...
00:50:57Hello?
00:50:58A little attention here.
00:51:06Lex, Joe, oh yeah, sorry, Lex, Joe, I'll be selfish, all right, sorry, I'll be selfish,
00:51:27all right, sorry, oh, jeez, who invented this stupid position anyway, too much fucking multitasking,
00:51:48screw it.
00:51:58.
00:52:04.
00:52:05.
00:52:05.
00:52:05.
00:52:07.
00:52:34Oh, my God.
00:52:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, that was bad, that was, that was so bad.
00:53:09Joanna, do you know a guy named, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:53:14I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:53:20Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:53:23Yes, it does.
00:53:25So, you're JJ?
00:53:27Uh-oh.
00:53:51Welcome to 1-900-Confess, would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:54:01A nun.
00:54:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:54:09Please hold.
00:54:09Oh, my goodness.
00:54:141-900-Confession, how may I be of service?
00:54:17Confession.
00:54:19Confession, how may I be of service?
00:54:21It's been one day since my last confession.
00:54:24I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:54:32One day.
00:54:42Is that too long?
00:54:43I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:54:46Go on.
00:54:47Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:54:51Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:54:54What's her problem?
00:54:55A washing machine touched.
00:55:02All right, Freak, time's up.
00:55:04What?
00:55:04But what do I do?
00:55:05Just, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:55:08All right, Freak, time's up.
00:55:10What?
00:55:10But what do I do?
00:55:11Just unplug the thing.
00:55:13No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:55:17Well, then be happy.
00:55:19You found the perfect man.
00:55:21I'm serious.
00:55:35Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:55:44I'll tell you this.
00:55:46Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:55:48No contritions?
00:55:50You broke no covenant with God.
00:55:52It's not in the Bible.
00:55:54So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:55:57Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:56:00Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:56:03Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:56:06Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:56:09Huh.
00:56:10God's pretty cool that way.
00:56:11He sure is.
00:56:13Now run along.
00:56:16Wow.
00:56:18How do you know all that?
00:56:20Because I'm a nun.
00:56:22Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:56:34Accidental masturbation.
00:56:35Who'd it think?
00:56:54Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:00Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idea.
00:57:04Oh, God, I'm getting out of here.
00:57:13Yeah, admit it.
00:57:15I've got no game.
00:57:16I guess I can scare you.
00:57:18I guess I'm a nun.
00:57:18I'm a nun.
00:57:23Fucking douchebag.
00:57:25Damn it.
00:57:26Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:57:29You go, girl.
00:57:31What?
00:57:33What are you doing here?
00:57:35We needed someplace private.
00:57:37But hey, listen.
00:57:38If you're serious about getting laid.
00:57:40Yeah.
00:57:41If you want someone great.
00:57:42I mean, really, the best ever.
00:57:46No offense.
00:57:48Frank, the blind guy.
00:57:50Really?
00:57:51I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:57:55I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:57:57It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:58:00It was like we used all our senses.
00:58:03Everything.
00:58:06If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:58:15All right.
00:58:22What about him?
00:58:23Jeremy.
00:58:24Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:58:26Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:58:29I don't know his last name, though.
00:58:31It's Jones.
00:58:33Jeremy Jones.
00:58:34Oh, this all makes sense.
00:58:36Excuse me.
00:58:38Jeremy.
00:58:40Hi.
00:58:40Hey.
00:58:41Who's on the phone?
00:58:43Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:58:45You'll meet her.
00:58:45Could be here in like an hour.
00:58:47Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:59:01Oh.
00:59:03You have a girlfriend?
00:59:03Hey, Frank.
00:59:04Sit.
00:59:08Oh, you meant...
00:59:09You meant the dog.
00:59:13Relax.
00:59:15You need to relax and calm down.
00:59:26Oh, I'm...
00:59:32Oh, I'm...
00:59:33I'm relaxed and fine.
00:59:35Why are you biting your nail?
00:59:37And your nail?
00:59:38I'm not.
00:59:41How did you know that?
00:59:45Corner.
00:59:49Sit.
00:59:51Roll over.
00:59:55Oh, you mean me.
00:59:58Roll over.
01:00:04Oh, you mean me.
01:00:07Roll over.
01:00:11Oh, you mean me.
01:00:13Oh, how do you...
01:00:15How do you want me to...
01:00:16Just lay down.
01:00:17Wait, I...
01:00:28Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
01:00:32But considering it a teachable moment.
01:00:36Okay.
01:00:39Oh.
01:00:42See me with your hands.
01:00:47All right.
01:00:49Uh...
01:00:55You know, I should really...
01:00:56I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
01:00:58Really.
01:01:02Oh.
01:01:11Mm.
01:01:12Peanut butter.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:22I don't know.
01:01:32Oh, Frank, Frank, Frank, oh, oh, Frank.
01:01:53Oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank, oh, Frank.
01:02:24Oh, Frank.
01:02:24Guys, why are you making such a mess?
01:02:27Sorry.
01:02:34It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
01:02:37That's all.
01:02:42No, let me do this.
01:02:43Go ahead.
01:02:44I'm not it.
01:02:45No, really, please, I want to help.
01:02:50Okay, everybody out.
01:02:51No, leave.
01:02:52I have to vacuum.
01:03:06You're not even getting the chips.
01:03:08They're over here.
01:03:09I see some dust over here, so it's just so much dust on this floor.
01:03:19It's just a dirty floor, such a dirty, dirty floor.
01:03:31Oh, I know.
01:03:33I can't do it.
01:03:35I can't do it.
01:03:37Oh, I can't do it.
01:03:42Oh, OK.
01:03:43Oh, oh.
01:03:45Oh, I think I got all that.
01:03:48So I'm just gonna, see how, oh.
01:03:59Frankie
01:04:01Oh my
01:04:02What was that?
01:04:03What?
01:04:05Man we gotta smoke
01:04:10Stop Frank
01:04:11Stop teasing Frank
01:04:15Sorry man
01:04:16We're just looking for a place to finish this road
01:04:18Alright I heard something
01:04:19You wanna join us?
01:04:20Uh, no I might
01:04:21Come on you gotta do it come on
01:04:24Seriously guys I need to go
01:04:25Where's your dog man?
01:04:26What's it like being blinded
01:04:27It's trippy
01:04:32Frank?
01:04:34Frank are we gonna do something soon?
01:04:38Bro you are
01:04:39Too funny
01:04:42Thanks man
01:04:43Oh this is some good stuff
01:04:44I haven't smoked since junior high
01:04:46Dude I haven't stopped smoking since junior high
01:04:49Wait wait wait
01:04:50I feel like I was supposed to be doing something
01:04:55Damn I really can't remember
01:04:56This is some good shit
01:05:15Oh no you're the devil
01:05:17No more
01:05:22JJ
01:05:22JJ
01:05:23I'm Jeremy
01:05:23You have to remember that amazing time we had together don't you?
01:05:28Please
01:05:28Lex
01:05:29I can't
01:05:31I mean I got a girlfriend
01:05:33I really like this girl
01:05:34Fine
01:05:36It's just so sad
01:05:37It's just so sad
01:05:38Because I'm wearing this
01:05:39Cupless bra
01:05:40And I also have on crotchless panties
01:05:44With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation
01:05:50Oh
01:05:54We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here
01:05:56Perfect
01:06:01Before she gets here
01:06:02Perfect
01:06:12Oh man
01:06:13I'm gonna do it
01:06:14Let's do it
01:06:15Fuck me
01:06:16Fuck me now
01:06:21What?
01:06:22What's wrong?
01:06:23I can't
01:06:24I can't get it in
01:06:26It's too dry down there
01:06:27It's like desert down there
01:06:29It's sandpaper
01:06:31Okay I get the picture
01:06:32Just try it again
01:06:36No
01:06:36Why is this happening?
01:06:39We fooled around before
01:06:40I was dripping wet
01:06:42I came like four times remember?
01:06:44Just do what you did then
01:06:45Go on
01:06:46I already did my thing
01:06:47I already tried
01:06:49What?
01:06:50What is different this time?
01:06:52I don't know
01:06:54Last time
01:06:57I honestly don't even know what you're talking about
01:06:59What?
01:07:02You're not JJ?
01:07:04But your name is Jeremy Jones
01:07:06How can you not be JJ?
01:07:08Who the hell is this JJ?
01:07:11Where are you going?
01:07:12We're not done here
01:07:14I can still do this
01:07:15I just need a little bit of work
01:07:16I can do this
01:07:17I don't need JJ
01:07:18I don't need anyone else
01:07:20We can do this
01:07:23Go team
01:07:27What?
01:07:27Just keep going
01:07:33Shit
01:07:44Where's Jeremy?
01:07:45Hi
01:07:46We were just
01:07:47You know
01:07:49Hey babe
01:07:50Just working out
01:07:55How could you
01:07:56You bastard
01:08:00You might want to
01:08:01What?
01:08:04What?
01:08:07Ah
01:08:09Mariela
01:08:10Mariela
01:08:11You know those aren't mine
01:08:13At least not all of them
01:08:16What is wrong with you?
01:08:21What is wrong with you?
01:08:24You used to be so pure
01:08:26Well no more
01:08:27That's it
01:08:28Really
01:08:29That's the last one
01:08:50What is wrong with you?
01:09:02Cheryl?
01:09:07What is it?
01:09:08What are you doing down here?
01:09:10Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:09:14What?
01:09:15Why?
01:09:16Nothing.
01:09:17Just this blind guy and his dog.
01:09:20Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:09:23No, it's not okay.
01:09:26God.
01:09:27And you know whose fault it is?
01:09:28I'm sorry.
01:09:29It's Jake's.
01:09:30Jake's fault.
01:09:32That blind, cheating bastard.
01:09:34Yes.
01:09:35He is such a dickwad.
01:09:37You need to confront him.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:09:41I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:09:44Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:09:45You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:09:48Yeah, a big piece.
01:09:50A big old chunk of my mind.
01:09:52A big piece of it.
01:09:53Yeah.
01:09:54You know, you might wanna...
01:09:57You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:09:59Yeah, you're right.
01:10:01Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:10:02I know.
01:10:03I know.
01:10:08I'm sorry.
01:10:10I'm sorry.
01:10:12I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:10:16I got no game.
01:10:18I got no game.
01:10:23It's not important.
01:10:37Hey, um...
01:10:38Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:10:39No, no, no.
01:10:40I really need to talk to you.
01:10:42Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:10:44No, no, no, no.
01:10:44I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to
01:10:50you.
01:10:50Eric, really?
01:10:52I don't care.
01:10:53It's fine.
01:10:53No, but I do.
01:10:54I mean, I do.
01:10:55I care.
01:10:58I haven't known how to tell you.
01:11:00Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:11:03But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:11:09Sometime.
01:11:10Soon.
01:11:11Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:11:14Really?
01:11:15Eric, you're shy.
01:11:17You have no game.
01:11:19No, not really.
01:11:22Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:11:23Sorry.
01:11:27Okay.
01:11:28Alright.
01:11:30I, uh...
01:11:32Happy birthday, then.
01:11:44I'm sorry.
01:11:45I was trying to kiss you.
01:11:55Wow.
01:12:07Here I come, baby.
01:12:08Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:12:13Oh, Eric, stop.
01:12:15Um, we can't do this.
01:12:16Oh, goddammit.
01:12:17Not again.
01:12:18Oh, no, um...
01:12:18Honey, happy...
01:12:21What the fuck is this?
01:12:23Who the hell are you, dude?
01:12:25Okay, guys, don't.
01:12:29Cheryl.
01:12:30Baby.
01:12:31What is this?
01:12:34Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:12:36You're...
01:12:37I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:12:39Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:12:41You couldn't find me?
01:12:43What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:12:46or your penis getting sucked?
01:12:48Cheryl, honey.
01:12:50No, no.
01:12:50We can work this out.
01:12:52Baby, I love you.
01:12:53Jake, no.
01:12:54You have to go.
01:12:54Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:12:56I promise.
01:12:57No, Jake.
01:12:58I can't do this.
01:12:58I'm sorry.
01:13:00Cheryl, come on.
01:13:01No, Jake, please.
01:13:02Just go, just go.
01:13:03I'm sorry.
01:13:04You're a harmless bitch!
01:13:06How can you do...
01:13:08Yay!
01:13:08You did it.
01:13:09I am so proud of you.
01:13:11You got your revenge sex.
01:13:12You left him under your shell of a man.
01:13:14Revenge sex?
01:13:17It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:13:20Right.
01:13:22That all makes sense now.
01:13:24Wow.
01:13:25I feel really stupid.
01:13:27Eric, I'm really...
01:13:28I'm really sorry.
01:13:31Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:13:33And you used me.
01:13:35Eric, please don't go.
01:13:37Please, Eric!
01:13:39Aren't you happy?
01:13:42Well, no.
01:13:43That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:13:45You mean the sex?
01:13:46Was it...
01:13:47Yeah?
01:13:48No, we didn't quite do it.
01:13:50Oh.
01:13:51You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:13:52Really?
01:13:53I just never found the right guy.
01:13:55Or guys.
01:13:57Anyway.
01:13:58We better get downstairs.
01:13:59People are starting to leave.
01:14:00I wonder how Sue did.
01:14:12I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:14:14This is bullshit.
01:14:16God!
01:14:17Oh!
01:14:18Oh!
01:14:19Oh!
01:14:19Oh!
01:14:19Oh!
01:14:19Oh!
01:14:20Oh!
01:14:20Oh!
01:14:22Oh!
01:14:22Sue, I'm out of here!
01:14:23Yeah!
01:14:24He has good hair, though.
01:14:29Don't you puke on me.
01:14:32Don't puke on my car, either.
01:14:45Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:14:49Was it from sex?
01:14:50Did you pop your cork?
01:14:51I don't think so.
01:14:52Not with a guy, anyway.
01:14:55Oh, don't ask.
01:14:56Every possible object.
01:14:58It's like every mechanical thing.
01:15:00It was like...
01:15:01Transformers.
01:15:02They just all became vibrators.
01:15:04I told you.
01:15:06It's addicting.
01:15:09So what about Chris?
01:15:10The last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:15:12I told you he was gay.
01:15:14Well, I think I'm just...
01:15:16Oh, cramp.
01:15:18Oh.
01:15:19Oh.
01:15:20I think it's broken.
01:15:21So wait.
01:15:23None of us cashed an RV card.
01:15:29Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:15:32So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:15:34Wanna go?
01:15:35No.
01:15:36I think I should finish up here.
01:15:39Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:15:41No.
01:15:43I don't know.
01:15:44For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:15:48Or something.
01:15:49Why?
01:15:50Do you know him?
01:15:51Sort of.
01:15:52Oh.
01:15:53Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:15:58Leave everything.
01:16:03Love him.
01:16:04Shut it.
01:16:04You wanna do it?
01:16:05I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:16:06You wanna get married?
01:16:06You wanna do it?
01:16:07I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright.
01:16:26You're taking me.
01:16:28You're taking me.
01:16:31You're taking me.
01:16:33You're taking me.
01:16:33Um.
01:16:35No.
01:16:36No way.
01:16:43Ugh.
01:16:51Oh well.
01:16:53There's always next year.
01:17:15It's you.
01:17:17I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:17:29I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:18:53Who's Eric's?
01:18:56It's him, right?
01:18:59Oh.
01:19:00Yeah.
01:19:03I have to go see him.
01:19:09Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:19:20One-nine-hundred confess.
01:19:24Sister Terese?
01:19:26Yeah, hon.
01:19:27There was a problem with your credit card.
01:19:29I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:19:31Oh, sure.
01:19:34It's 271.
01:19:36Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:19:41Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:19:45Take you back?
01:19:47Sure, hon.
01:19:48Why not?
01:19:49As long as you're on the right path.
01:19:52Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:19:54Sister, I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:19:58Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:20:02Sister?
01:20:04Can I get up now?
01:20:06I really gotta pee.
01:20:07No!
01:20:08Hush your trap!
01:20:11Okay, honey.
01:20:12I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:20:15I will.
01:20:16Thanks.
01:20:20Sister?
01:20:21Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:20:39Eric, wait!
01:20:46Eric, um, look, I am so sorry-
01:20:49Cheryl?
01:20:52Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:20:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:21:00At the beginning, but then at the end-
01:21:04I didn't want to do that with you.
01:21:06The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:09Um, and I wasn't.
01:21:12I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:21:15The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:21:18Um, I-
01:21:20I do want to go out with you.
01:21:23And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:21:26I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:21:29and he's all over these pink-
01:21:32Come on, I gotta get going.
01:21:34Oh.
01:21:35Wow.
01:21:36Um, Cheryl.
01:21:37Uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:21:39Tina, Cheryl.
01:21:41Hi.
01:21:42Nice to meet you.
01:21:46Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:21:51When I get back?
01:21:52Yeah.
01:21:53Sure.
01:21:58Oh.
01:22:00Sorry.
01:22:01No kissing.
01:22:02Right.
01:22:02No kissing.
01:22:03Oh.
01:22:03Mm.
01:22:10Mm.
01:22:11Mm.
01:22:19Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:22:22Mm.
01:22:23Mm.
01:22:23Mm.
01:22:24I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:22:27Wait, what? I never did that.
01:22:30I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:22:32She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:22:38She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:22:41I wonder who it was.
01:23:01At least this birthday is over.
01:23:16Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:23:19I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:23:54Excuse me, excuse me.
01:23:56Do you know where the church is?
01:23:57It's on Fountain Street.
01:24:00Yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:24:02Or used to go to.
01:24:04It's straight up that way and then left.
01:24:09You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:24:11Oh, well, I don't know.
01:24:20Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:24:24Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:24:28Like I said, you're more than welcome to torque.
01:24:31Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:24:35I don't think so.
01:24:37But thanks.
01:24:38What's your name?
01:24:39Sue. What's yours?
01:24:41Jesus.
01:24:43Really?
01:24:45Si.
01:24:48Maybe I could use the ride.
01:25:11Today's ride.
01:25:12Yeah.
01:25:30I was.
01:25:31I can't.
01:25:32It's healthy.
01:25:36It's healthy.
01:25:37Good day.
01:25:40I'm a boy.
01:25:40I was.
01:25:40If you're like, you know, a boy.
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