- 5 hours ago
Into The Wolf's Jaws
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00You are pathetic, Gary. Cooking, cleaning. You're not a boyfriend, you're a maid. I need a real man.
00:07Good luck finding a real man who remembers it into your dallergies, Tiffany.
00:14A goddess? Looks more like a lumpy potato to me. Women really used to worship a carb?
00:24What the hell?
00:42Ow, my back. Are you kidding me? What is this? Some extreme feminist cosplay event?
00:49Put the sticks down, ladies. What do women know about wilderness survival anyway?
00:59Hey! Let me go! Are you on steroids?
01:16Too noisy.
01:35Let there be light, ladies.
01:44The fire god's messenger has descended!
01:48That's right. Worship the magic thumb.
01:51Fools! It's dark witchcraft! An illusion to corrupt us!
01:55Shoot that demon down! Now!
02:02Holy crap!
02:06The tribe is freezing. He stays. Keep him alive. We use him to make fire.
02:18Crazy. These chicks are absolutely insane.
02:29The potato goddess? That's my ticket home.
02:38Survive these savage women. Get those pieces and get the hell out of here.
02:44Game on.
02:46Listen. Where I come from, men are the alphas.
02:51Women listen. They cook. They gently ask for permission.
02:57Shut up.
02:59Whoa! Hey! Put me down!
03:13You gotta be kidding me.
03:19Look at those tiny arms! Weaker than a newborn calf!
03:24Yeah, laugh it up, you savage Amazons!
03:32Where is the damn restroom? Don't tell me!
03:41I'm gonna freeze my balls off.
03:49Holy crap! Help!
04:01Toxic masculinity gets you killed here.
04:05You want an alpha? Fine.
04:09I'll give you the ultimate house husband.
04:14Wait, wait, wait, wait!
04:29Let there be light, baby.
04:42Envoy of the Fire God!
04:44He brings the sacred flame!
04:47Fools!
04:48Stand up!
04:49It's an illusion!
04:51Dark magic from a filthy demon!
04:55Ona! Shoot him!
04:57Pierce his cursed heart!
04:58Now!
04:59Yes, high priestess!
05:08Whoa! Hey!
05:09Peace! I come in peace!
05:11Peace!
05:14I come in peace!
05:16I come in peace!
05:17I come in peace!
05:26Hey! Watch the hoodie!
05:29The tribe needs the flame for the winter.
05:32Keep this... thing.
05:35We will use him to make fire.
05:41Stay inside, you useless weakling.
05:46It smells like wet dog and depression in here.
06:00Wait!
06:01The potato statue!
06:03That's my ticket home!
06:14Take one more step outside, and I'll chop your legs off!
06:22Okay, Gary.
06:24Play nice.
06:25Survive the cave women.
06:26Get the pieces.
06:27Go home.
06:30Go home.
06:43Make fire, or I'll carve you into pieces right now.
06:47For the video, of course, I'll do it...
06:58In my world, men give the orders!
07:02Women are supposed to beg me gently!
07:23You crazy
07:29Okay, I'm healed
07:31Stop throwing me
07:37Since you won't make a fire
07:39Go do the chores
07:48Oh my god
07:50What is that smell?
07:54Did something die in here?
07:56Clean it up
07:58Wait, all of this?
08:00Are you insane?
08:01I'm an art director, not a dung beetle
08:03Finish it before sunset
08:05Or you don't eat
08:20This is an absolute violation of male dignity
08:23Back pride, back in my world, men run the show
08:26We tell women what to do
08:28Look at those tiny little arms
08:32Thinner than a baby reindeer's leg
08:34He can barely lift a shovel
08:39What a useless piece of trash
08:44I'll show you useless
08:46I bench press?
08:47I bench press occasionally
08:48I bench press occasionally
09:07I just want to go home
09:12God, I'm starving
09:14I'd kill for a cheeseburger right now
09:17Not now
09:19Where's the restroom?
09:20Come on, there's got to be an outhouse or something
09:24Excuse me
09:25Toilet?
09:26Restroom?
09:26Where do you guys, you know
09:29Are you kidding me?
09:31Out there?
09:31I'll freeze my junk off
09:41Holy crap!
09:45Mommy!
09:53Alpha male?
09:54I'm literally just wolf bait here
10:04If acting tough gets me killed
10:06Then screw being tough
10:10It's time to bring out the ultimate house husberd
10:13You filthy outsider!
10:16How dare you defile the sacred ground!
10:18Whoa, hold on!
10:19I didn't do this!
10:21This is a setup!
10:22Silence!
10:23Punish him!
10:2330 blapes tear his skin off!
10:26With pleasure, High Priestess
10:35Hey, watch the face
10:37Let a professional handle this
10:44Done!
10:46Spotless
10:46You could eat off this floor now
10:51You...
10:52Witchcraft!
10:55Keep an eye on this freak, Una!
11:04Playing the macho tough guy here is literally a death sentence
11:07Fine, if brute force won't work
11:09I'll just have to use the ultimate de mech skills I used to hate it
11:13I will survive
11:22Where is the meat?
11:23We have nothing left!
11:24The blizzards chased the herds away, we caught absolutely nothing!
11:29What is that smell?
11:31Smells like a dumpster in July
11:32The winter storage is completely rotten!
11:36The winter storage is dead!
11:38The winter storage is dead!
11:39The winter storage is dead!
11:56The winter storage is free!
11:57Our winter storage is cursed!
11:59Our winter storage is cursed!
11:59To save the strong, the weak must perish!
12:01It is tradition!
12:03Exile the wounded!
12:05Throw the old men to the icelands!
12:07Please!
12:08No!
12:08No!
12:09We'll freeze to death!
12:19Bullshit!
12:20Bullshit!
12:21Exile my ass!
12:23Those meats can still be saved!
12:28The demon speaks!
12:30He is blinding you all with his sorcery!
12:33Ona!
12:34Take his head off!
12:35Now!
12:37With pleasure!
12:39Whoa, whoa, wait!
12:50Give me one day!
12:52Just one day!
12:53I swear I'll make this meet!
12:55Last all winter without rotting!
12:58Ona!
13:00Let go of the chief, you filth!
13:03Hold!
13:10You have one day.
13:11If this fails, your head goes on a spike.
13:15Deal.
13:16Just keep your blade in its seath.
13:19Thora!
13:19Take your best warriors to the Salt Lake!
13:21I need raw salt!
13:22Bags of it!
13:23Now!
13:23Here!
13:24What now, magic man?
13:27God, it smells like a dumpster fire in a locker room.
13:30Listen up!
13:31Cut away the green, rotten parts and toss them!
13:34We only keep the good flesh!
13:36Slice them thin and even, like this.
13:38It helps it dry faster.
13:41Salt and wild herbs.
13:43The salt draws out moisture.
13:45The herbs kill bacteria.
13:47It's science, ladies!
13:49Witchcraft!
13:50You are poisoning our winter supply with your filthy trick!
13:59What the hell is wrong with you, you crazy bitch?
14:01Are you trying to starve everyone?
14:02I'll cut your tongue out, you pathetic worm!
14:06What the hell is wrong with you, you crazy bitch?
14:27Look!
14:28Look!
14:37Out of my way!
14:38I'm starving!
14:41Please work!
14:42Please work!
14:48She's frozen!
14:49The demons' food is cursed!
14:53if she dies i will skin you alive wait just give her a second it's just salt
15:00this is incredible salty savory it's a hundred times better than plain roasted meat
15:07i could eat a whole reindeer of this
15:23the meat is preserved we will not starve this winter
15:30hail the fire messenger see told you modern science never lies
15:36you skinny little genius whoa hey put me down
15:41the magic management saved us
15:47okay okay i guess i'm the chef now
15:57water boiled jerky again my taste buds are literally committing suicide
16:02i can't take this caveman diet anymore i need flavor
16:09hello gorgeous time to introduce these cave women to some real flavor
16:24come get it ladies the gary special guaranteed to blow your minds
16:36what sorcery is this it smells aggressive try it big girl if you can handle it
16:46it burns it's like swallowing fire but i can't stop give me water and more meat
16:56welcome to the spicy club amateurs
17:03what is this chaos
17:12chief i was just
17:15wait chief that's pure chili oil you can't just that will kill you
17:40hey hey i got you
17:48hold on i know exactly what you need
18:01drink this it's ginger and sweet root it'll warm you up from the inside
18:18a tough chief shouldn't have to fight the cold all by herself
18:23just rest
18:38damn it's freezing
18:48cover yourself don't freeze to death
18:54who's gonna cook for me if you die
19:05i picked these for you
19:07you smell like sour mud
19:11and look at these skinny arms
19:13a real warrior needs a strong man not a weakling like you
19:17look at you you're just like a nanny who only knows how to cook you have zero masculinity
19:32not again i won't let this happen again
19:37stop crying like a baby
19:39but but i can't fight those wild beasts i'm too weak
19:42since we can't beat these tigresses with muscles we'll conquer them with elegance
19:51skin care is a man's second life endure it
20:16by the moon goddess is that alien
20:20you're coming to my tent tonight gorgeous
20:23back off i saw him first
20:31gary you're a miracle worker thank you
20:36teach us master gary save our love lives
20:40all right boys welcome to gary's grooming master class
20:43rule number one exfoliation you got to treat your skin like a delicate flower not a mammoth hoft hide
20:49look at those hands so gentle
20:57enough
20:59whoa easy chief
21:08listen up
21:10this man's hands are only for cooking my food and sewing my clothes
21:14nobody touches him he is mine to order around
21:24you know what maybe being a domestic god isn't so bad after all
21:35are you blind you call yourself a warrior look at her the blizzard curse keep your dirty snow off the
21:41training grill
21:46hey back off it's just dandruff not a curse
21:51give me ten minutes i'll cure your little blizzard permanently
21:56just relax your neck
21:58think of it as a vip spa treatment
22:02spa what it feels weirdly good
22:06focus on the massage no scratching just rubbing
22:25all done take a look
22:33by the moon goddess
22:34it's gone the snow is gone
22:36you saved my life
22:38no one has ever been this kind to me
22:42i owe you
22:43come with me
22:44i have to tell you a secret
22:45a huge one
22:46whoa slow down what secret
22:55whoa easy
22:56what's with the cloak and dagger
22:57procedure
22:58gary you gotta hear this
22:59i saw something
23:00bad
23:01what did someone steal my secret chili sauce again
23:03no it's high priestess morica
23:06a few nights ago i saw her sneaking around the back mountain
23:08she was burying huge chests of premium pelts in a hidden snow cave
23:12hoarding winter supplies in secret
23:15that old witch is embezzling the tribe's public property
23:18this is our trump gone
23:23what are you two whispering about
23:25oh hey una what a lovely night
23:28are you plotting against the high priestess
23:33plotting no we were talking about hair
23:36see her hair is a disaster
23:38i'm teaching her the ultimate modern braiding technique
23:40it's called the french braid very chic
23:44you think i'm a fool outsider
23:47your soft little tricks might amuse the chief but marana sees everything
23:51noted
23:52i'll make sure to offer her a scalp massage next time
23:55watch your back rat
24:02the old witch is feeling threatened
24:05they're coming for me
24:09that outsider rat
24:10he's infecting our warriors with his soft pathetic tricks
24:13he must die
24:15say the word high priestess
24:16i'll slit his throat while he sleeps
24:18fool
24:19Brenna shields him like a prize pet
24:21if we just kill him she will tear us apart
24:24we need leverage
24:25a fatal sin
24:26watch him
24:28every breath
24:29every step
24:29find his weakness
24:30yes high priestess
24:36now or never
24:43just one left
24:44i'm going home
24:52defiling the gods
24:53you're a dead man
24:56hi priestess
24:57i caught him
24:58he touched the sacred altar
25:00speak clearly
25:01what did the rat do
25:03he stole a piece of the mother goddess
25:05he hid it in his clothes
25:09it's the ultimate sin
25:11i'll gather the gods and arrest him for theft right now
25:13theft
25:14no that's too petty
25:15we will give him a grander stage
25:17the moon festival is tomorrow
25:18the whole tribe will be watching
25:20we won't say he stole it
25:21we will tell them he is piecing the idol together
25:24to activate a dark curse and destroy our entire tribe
25:27let's see if our dear chief can save him from the wrath of the gods
25:34high priestess i saw it
25:36the outsider stole a fragment of the goddess's statue
25:40blasphemy
25:41the absolute perfect sin
25:43he's dug his own grave
25:44tomorrow he dies
25:55yes
25:55just one last core piece
25:58and i'm out of this freezing hell
26:02what are you hiding?
26:04hiding?
26:05nothing
26:06just checking my abs
26:08winter body prep
26:09you know
26:11idiot
26:12don't choke on the bones
26:32stop the prayers!
26:35the moon goddess is furious!
26:38her wrath descends upon us tonight
26:41because there is a rat among us
26:44a traitor
26:45who stole our sacred relic
26:50whoa wait
26:51i was just eating my dinner
26:54seize the monster
26:58back off Ona
26:59he's innocent
27:01move
27:02or you'll be punished for treason
27:07hey
27:08hands off
27:09what are you doing?
27:11what are you doing?
27:13what are you doing?
27:13hey
27:35Brenna
27:36it's not what you think
27:37i- i just wanted to go home
27:40He used his dark magic to beforege our chief and weaken our matriarchy
27:44He stole the relic to curse and destroy this entire tribe
27:47By our ancient law, throw him into the ice dungeon
27:51Tomorrow at dawn, he will be frozen alive as a sacrifice
27:59Wait, it's a misunderstanding, this is just a tool to get me home
28:03I swear
28:04A tool, it's dark magic
28:07He wants to curse us all
28:09Burn the demon
28:10Burn the demon
28:12Step back
28:13He saved our winter meat, have you forgotten it?
28:16Are you turning your back on the moon goddess?
28:20Step aside now
28:21Or share the demon's fate
28:24Chief, the goddess demands justice
28:28Make the call
28:32Brenna
28:34You know me
28:36Tell them
28:37I just cooked for you last night
28:56Seize him
29:08Take him
29:09Take him
29:18Are you serious?
29:20After everything?
29:22The goddess has spoken
29:26I've been waiting for this
29:34Let him go
29:35He saved us
29:37Move it, scum
29:38The ice dungeon is waiting for you
29:51I guess I was blind
29:54You're just as cold and lifeless as that ugly potato statue
30:00All you care about is your damn power
30:09Shut your mouth, witch!
30:19Enjoy your final night
30:21You'll be frozen solid by morning
30:40Brenna
30:45It's so cold
30:47Just let it end
30:48Cold
30:50So cold
31:00Great
31:01Going to die as a human popsicle
31:06I spent all this time looking for an exit
31:09Alders than eggs
31:10Never treated this place like home
31:26You stupid stubborn tigress
31:29Carrying the whole world on your shoulders
31:44Eat it, skinny boy
31:45Don't freeze to death before dawn
31:52Thora
31:52Thank you
31:53Seriously
32:06She won't let me die
32:07That tough-talking tigress is coming for me tonight
32:10I know it
32:23Who-who's there?
32:34Brenna?
32:50Take this
33:01How did you-why?
33:06Get out
33:07Take the secret tunnel in the back
33:11Go back to your world
33:13The one with
33:14Toilets
33:15And no freezing winters
33:16And never come back
33:31Chuckle softly
33:36You're not afraid of dying
33:38You're afraid of being forgotten
33:45Do it
33:46Go back to your soft world
34:05Are you out of your mind?
34:08Tomorrow morning
34:09You're going to be chopped into meat paste
34:12I can't save you
34:25I caught your stubbornness
34:30If I leave
34:31Who's going to make you that spicy stew?
34:36And who's going to help you teach that old witch a lesson?
34:51Now
34:53It's our turn to strike back
34:56Look closely
34:57I pieced this together from what Lyra told me
35:00Moranga's been playing you all
35:03The sacrifices for the moon goddess
35:05They didn't go to heaven
35:06She hoarded everything in these hidden snow caves behind the camp
35:09What?
35:10Your winter supplies
35:11My people starved last winter
35:14The elderly froze
35:15And she was stockpiling our food?
35:17I'm going to rip her throat out right now
35:19Whoa, tiger, wait, stop
35:22Let go of me
35:24She pays with blood tonight
35:26You kill her now in the dark
35:28Her fanatics will say you murdered a holy woman
35:30It's a civil war
35:34We don't just kill her
35:36We destroy her entirely
35:38Tomorrow morning
35:39At my public execution
35:41We strip her of everything in front of the whole tribe
35:46You better survive until morning, modern boy
36:16These are from the Bloodfang tribe
36:18The ones who slaughtered our sisters
36:20Stop
36:21Not in the dark
36:22She sold us out
36:24She traded our lives
36:26If we kill her now
36:28Her followers will riot
36:29We expose her at the altar
36:32In front of everyone
36:52Time to bleed for the moon goddess, freak
36:58You're making a mistake
37:06The moon goddess demands his impure blood
37:15Death to the demon
37:18Right there
37:42Chief, what is the meaning of this?
37:47Are you betraying the goddess for this filthy creature?
38:13The only one betraying the goddess
38:16Is you
38:18You greedy, filthy parasite
38:25This blade
38:26It bears the mark of the Bloodfang tribe
38:28They slaughtered our sisters with these
38:31Traitor!
38:32How could she?
38:39Silence, you ignorant fools
38:41These are sacred offerings
38:43Tributes gathered for the moon goddess
38:45To protect us from the winter's wrath
38:53Oh, give it a rest
38:55You old fraud
38:57Your hoarding habit is worse than my modern ex-girlfriend
38:59On a Black Friday shopping spree
39:01Seriously?
39:02Can your moon goddess even wear that many fur coats?
39:05She's gonna sweat to death
39:19Blasphemy!
39:21Blasphemy!
39:21Kill them!
39:22Kill them all!
39:23On a slaughter these traitors!
39:27For the moon goddess!
39:28Kill them all!
39:31Whoa!
39:32Time out!
39:33Someone untie me first!
39:34You've been pissing me off for months
39:37Ona!
39:39Die, you brute!
39:51My turn
40:12Mercy!
40:13We surrender to the chief!
40:16Good job, Thara
40:18That's one hell of an uppercut
40:26No, my power
40:28It's all gone
40:30Die, you hypocrite!
40:33Get your filthy hands off me
40:36I am the voice of the moon goddess
40:39The goddess wants you dead
40:40Beat her to death right now
40:51This is for my mother
40:53And for the sisters we lost to your lies
41:07Are you crazy, Gary?
41:09Don't tell me you're trying to save this venomous snake
41:11Typical weak man
41:12Always crying and showing mercy
41:16Don't dirty your hands, Brenna
41:25A quick death is too much of a luxury for you, old lady
41:29I've got something way better in mind
41:32Something that will break your soul
41:35Death is way too easy for her
41:39She loves hoarding winter supplies so much
41:41Let's follow the oldest rule
41:43Exile her to the frozen wasteland
41:51No, no, please
41:53I won't last three nights out there
41:55Have mercy, chief
41:57Just kill me
41:58Just kill me
42:06Let her live
42:07Let her freeze and panic in the snow every single day
42:10Thinking about her pathetic life
42:11That's way more torturous than a quick slice
42:24You are so wicked
42:26Learned from the best
42:29I picked it up from you, my fierce tigress
42:42Execute the exile
42:44Now
42:45Keep moving
42:53Please, I will freeze to death out there
43:01Cross this line
43:03And I will end you right now
43:09Dig faster, traitor
43:11You have ten years to go
43:32Gary! Gary Harry!
43:39Gary! Gary! Gary!
43:42Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!
43:52Whoa, chief
43:54What are you doing?
43:55Hey! Slow down!
44:11By our old laws, men don't stay the night
44:17But listen up
44:18From today on
44:20This annoying little man is all mine
44:22Nobody touches him
44:24Anyone tries to steal him
44:25I break your legs
44:29Woohoo!
44:30Boss claimed her man!
44:31Yeah!
44:37Who's claiming who is highly debatable, you know
44:57Look at this dump
44:58Not even a proper silicone bottle
45:00Or a decent pacifier
45:03Your lucky daddy has good hands, kiddo
45:12Get up, you useless bum
45:14Stop hiding it in the tent
45:15Grab your bow
45:16You're hunting with me
45:20Alright, alright
45:21Keep your fur on, you crazy tigress
45:23I don't know
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