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Transcript
00:03Brian and Logan were twin wolf beast kin that my cousin Isabella and I rescued from the
00:08underground beast trade back then the two of us stood there staring at those filthy little wolf
00:13pups and without even needing to say much we each decided to adopt one I took Brian Isabella took
00:19Logan 13 years passed in the blink of an eye all that time I believe that even if Brian didn't
00:25like
00:25me he would at least feel grateful that I had saved his life that illusion shattered the day
00:30I accidentally overheard him talking to some other beast kin someone asked Emma's been really good to
00:38you why are you always so cold to her who asked her to be good to me you've got it
00:44good and don't even
00:46realize it good then I guess I should thank Emma properly if she hadn't taken me first me'd be the
00:51one with Isabella right now I mean makes sense compared to Isabella the head cheerleader Emma's
00:56just nothing special a dull ache spread through my chest every feeling I had held on to for Brian
01:02over the years quietly disappeared when I got home I sat on the living room couch until well past
01:07midnight again and again I picked up a mirror staring at the girl reflected in it I had always
01:13thought I looked average but now the longer I looked the worse it seemed with a surge of disgust
01:18I tossed the mirror aside all I could see in my mind was Isabella's radiant effortless smile
01:23I lowered my head and let the weight of my own insecurity swallow me home the sound of the front
01:27door opening broke the silence Brian walked in reeking of bourbon barely sparing me a glance before turning
01:33toward his bedroom I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and stood up for the first time
01:37I reached
01:38out trying to grab his tail my hand was immediately slapped away he stepped back his face full of irritation
01:43don't touch me it was exactly the same reaction as the first time I had tried to touch his wolf
01:48ears
01:49even after I had taken him in and cared for him with everything I had for 13 years a bitter
01:54laugh
01:55slipped out of me so if you're not pretty even your sincerity isn't worth anyone taking seriously
02:00I didn't even notice when my tears began to fall one by one onto the hardwood floor by the time
02:05I
02:06looked up again I was alone in the living room my thoughts drifted as they always did back to high
02:10school
02:11and the annual fall homecoming carnival I used to bring a big box of Texas's barbecue and find Brian
02:17in the backyard Brian will you come to the carnival with me this year he'd lift his head out of
02:22the
02:22pool water dripping from his hair no but a lot of people bring their bee skin with them no if
02:29you
02:29want someone to go with you go adopt another one from the shelter so every year I went alone I
02:35would
02:35stand off to the side watching Logan who had the exact same face as Brian yet always wore the
02:41gentlest smile he would ruffle Isabella's hair and ask Isabella do you want that teddy bear
02:47she'd nod with a bright smile rising onto her toes to reach for his wolf ears and Logan would always
02:53bend down for her patient and indulgent I watched him like a thief quietly craving the life Isabella had
02:59but one time Jason a few of his buddies shoved me onto the grass his voice was dripping with mockery
03:04well look who it is Emma a straight day nerd where's your little bee skin didn't feel like coming out
03:10with you one of his friends snickered her bee skin and Isabella's are twin wolves right the older one
03:16ended up with the prom queen and the younger one got stuck with an ugly duckling I refused to back
03:21down
03:21gritting my teeth I pushed myself up and swung my fist straight at his friend's face he went down hard
03:27before he could even react Chase lunged at me trying to fight back but I slammed him to the ground
03:32and
03:32kept hitting him until someone finally pulled me off the end result was predictable all of us were
03:37called into the principal's office I thought my mom would be on my side instead right in front of the
03:41principal and Chase she sighed in annoyance honestly what were you thinking they weren't even wrong why
03:46would you hit someone over that I tugged lightly at the sleeve of her coat mom I said barely above
03:51a
03:51whisper she acted like she didn't hear me let's be real she went on you're not exactly pretty and now
03:56you've got this terrible temper too even the bee skin you raised doesn't care about you I don't
04:00know how I ended up with a daughter like you sometimes I wish Isabella were my child instead
04:04that night I cried my eyes out in Central Park when I finally went home my father greeted me with
04:08a sharp
04:09slap across the face he said I closed my eyes and fell into a heavy sleep my messed up schedule
04:16left my mind
04:17blank when I woke up again when I pushed the door open I realized it was already dusk Brian was
04:22out but his
04:23presence lingered everywhere in the apartment I grabbed a slice of pizza and forced myself to eat
04:27then started packing up everything that belonged to me there wasn't much really after I got into
04:31college at 18 I was afraid my parents would treat Brian badly so I took him with me at my
04:37poorest I
04:38could only afford a run-down studio apartment he slept on the bed and I took the couch Brian was
04:43well
04:43over six feet tall and he would bump his head every time he walked through the low doorway so I
04:47worked
04:48non-stop picking up every part-time job I could find until I finally saved enough for a down payment
04:53on a small two-bedroom townhouse love has a way of making you feel like you owe everything so I
04:58bought
04:58Brian more things than he could ever need I never once considered that he didn't want any of it this
05:02time I decided to give him what he actually wanted freedom after I finished packing I walked out of the
05:07home Brian and I had shared the next morning when the staff at the Bureau of Non-Human Affairs asked
05:12me
05:12for the third time if I was sure I wanted to terminate my bond with Brian I still nodded when
05:16a human
05:17dissolves a bond unilaterally financial compensation is required I left the townhouse to him at the
05:22office Emily handed me the bond termination certificate then hesitated before asking Miss
05:27Emma would you like to give this to Mr. Brian in person or should we mail it on your behalf
05:30I took
05:31out the letter I had rewritten over and over again the night before please mail it to him I said
05:35and
05:35include this there were only two sentences in the letter I am sorry Brian I took you away without your
05:41consent so this time I am giving your freedom back to you I walked out of City Hall got into
05:46my car
05:46and left Los Angeles behind my new life would begin in Florida somewhere by the ocean waiting
05:51for warmer days ahead since my new job was as a lecturer at a university in Miami I rented a
05:56small
05:56beach house with a yard the evening sea breeze carried a faint salty smell as I walked along the
06:01shore wearing a mask the orange glow of the sunset was just right soft and beautiful I took a photo
06:06then out of habit opened my iMessage chat with Brian scrolling up it was nothing but messages from me
06:10photos of little trinkets I found at vintage markets strange shaped clouds in the sky the slow growth of a
06:16sunflower he rarely replied most of the time all I ever got back was a short dismissive yeah the last
06:22message in our chat was from the day I heard the truth I had asked him where are you I
06:26can come pick
06:27you up he never replied by then he must have already received the bond termination certificate and still
06:32he could not even bring himself to say goodbye all that was left in my chest was a dull spreading
06:37ache
06:37after thinking it over I realized my new life should not be tied to the past so I changed my
06:42phone
06:42number deleted my old Instagram and created a new account I packed my schedule as full as possible
06:47just to earn a few nights of uninterrupted sleep some of the more outgoing college girls like to
06:52chat with me between classes professor Emma why do you always wear a mask on campus because I'm not
06:57very pretty who said that oh my god I swear I will shut them up there is no such thing
07:02as an ugly girl
07:03she sounded completely sincere and the others around her nodded in agreement just as indignant I would laugh
07:08it off and smoothly change the subject soon enough they started talking about the bee skin they had
07:13at home then they asked me professor what kind of bee skin do you have I did not know how
07:17to explain
07:17everything that had happened with Brian so I gave them a simple answer he died they fell silent for a
07:22long moment until the bell rang and class began after that during my two weekly lectures students would
07:27often bring me little things a Starbucks latte a blueberry muffin or a bar of Hershey's chocolate I could
07:32never finish it all that was when I started thinking about the little fox bee skin on campus who survived
07:37by collecting recyclables bee skin were usually striking in appearance and fox bee skin were among
07:42the most beautiful of all but this one had deep crisscrossing scars covering both sides of his face
07:47he was afraid of scaring the students so he only came out late at night that evening when I left
07:52the
07:52lab and went looking for him it started pouring out of nowhere a figure darted toward me a fluffy
07:57foxtail swaying behind him I called out softly hey little fox huh the young bee skin turned around and
08:03noticed me immediately lowering his head he quickly covered his face with his hands I'm sorry ma'am I
08:09must have misheard please don't mind me the autumn rain carried a sharp chill he was soaked through
08:13water dripping steadily from his clothes I looked at him and said gently you don't have to hide your face
08:18I've seen you around I have hot water and a dryer in my office come upstairs and get warmed up
08:23he
08:23hesitated then slowly lowered his hands and nodded thank you ma'am once we got into my office under the
08:28bright
08:28lights I realized how young he was around 18 or 19 about the same age as my freshman while he
08:34was
08:34showering I went next door to the lab to ask about him my colleague Arthur was always eager to talk
08:40and he filled me in without hesitation that little fox is named Finn I heard he used to be incredibly
08:45good-looking his former handler tried to sell him to the red light district in the underground beast
08:49trade he refused and even bit someone before escaping during the escape his face got slashed up when the
08:55people from the black market saw he was disfigured they beat him badly and threw him into the ocean
09:00lucky for him the university rowing team pulled him out since then he's been scraping by on campus
09:05selecting recyclables I asked where does he live there's a rundown shed behind the hill on campus
09:10Arthur frowned slightly Emma I heard your beastkin passed away you're not thinking about adopting him
09:15are you I bit down on the straw of my hot latte and didn't answer Arthur's voice suddenly sharpened he
09:20looks like that who would want to adopt him his words overlapped with the voices from my past
09:24she looks so plain who would ever like her but why we have hearts too we want to love and
09:29be loved
09:29just the same I looked at Arthur and said quietly he isn't ugly he's just been hurt and he's kind
09:34he's sweet I've seen him share the food he collects with homeless people nearby I've seen him donate his
09:40spare change to the beastkin protection agency so please don't say things like that about him again
09:44when I stepped out of Arthur's office I saw Finn standing in the hallway his blonde hair and tail were
09:49still damp his eyes were brimming with tears feeling a little awkward I changed the subject if it's
09:54hard to do it yourself I can help dry it I took the towel and gently dried his hair and
09:58tail then
09:59used a hair dryer to finish the job it was my first time drying a beastkin's tail and I was
10:03clumsy I
10:04accidentally hurt him more than once and kept apologizing Finn's face turned red it's okay I'm
10:09already very grateful to you when I finally finished I handed him a muffin and the latte he didn't take
10:14them after a long pause as if gathering all his courage he spoke again ma'am I don't eat much
10:19could you adopt me my hand froze mid-air Finn continued I know I'm not good looking but I can
10:25cook wash dishes mow the lawn I can get massages and I know how to grow roses I smiled then
10:30took off
10:31my mask and met his eyes but I'm not good looking either would you still choose me Finn gently reached
10:35out and touched my cheek his movements careful almost reverent you're very cute he said softly I want to go
10:43with you my eyes stung I blinked quickly holding back the tears and took his hand as we walked out
10:48of the lab building together the rain had stopped and just like that I chose a family for myself I
10:53completed the paperwork and adopted Finn just like he promised he did everything beautifully he kept the
10:58beach house spotless filled the yard with blooming hydrangeas and brought me hot home-cooked lunches at
11:03the lab running those spectral analyses today nearly killed me Arthur said as he wandered in from next door
11:08shamelessly helping himself he took a big spoonful of beef stew and let out a low whistle damn Finn can
11:14cook this is incredible meanwhile the one at my place does nothing but curl up on the couch and watch
11:19Netflix honestly Arthur should have been grateful Brianne could not cook at all then again maybe he
11:24just never bothered to do anything like that for me that night I had the nightmare again a memory buried
11:30deep in my mind I was 17 Isabella and Logan went with me and Brian to Universal Studios Orlando halfway
11:37through
11:37the day the park was hit by a sudden indiscriminate attack explosions erupted from every direction
11:43Logan shielded Isabella while I grabbed Brian's hand and ran for the exit we were near the eastern side of
11:49the park but the flying debris still cut into everyone we were only steps away from the exit when it
11:55was
11:55blown apart right in front of us at the time I had been running ahead and never noticed what happened
12:00in
12:00that instant but in the dream I saw it clearly both Logan and Brian threw themselves toward Isabella
12:05without hesitation I was left alone collapsing into rubble and dust with no one caring whether I lived
12:11or died Logan and Brian were only relieved that Isabella was safe later I lay unconscious in the ICU
12:16for days my parents and Brian stayed by Isabella's side comforting her as she cried from the shock a
12:22voice echoed in my mind mocking me Emma C no one in this world loves you it came from everywhere
12:28repeating
12:29itself over and over surrounding me until I could not escape it in the dream my soul seemed to float
12:34above
12:35crouch down clutching my head as I tried to argue back that's not true that's not true then faintly
12:42someone grabbed my hand and pulled me forward a voice said Emma that's not true everyone deserves
12:48to be loved I woke with a start the first thing I saw was Finn sitting at my bedside wiping
12:53the cold
12:53sweat from my forehead his face tight with worry when he saw my eyes open he finally let out a
12:59breath
12:59tears slipped down my face before I could stop them Finn can you hold me he climbed onto the bed
13:04and pull me into his arms I clung to him like a child pouring out everything I had been holding
13:09inside Finn gently patted my back murmuring soft reassurances I did not have to worry about him
13:14snapping at me to leave him alone I did not have to worry about him brushing me off and disappearing
13:18into distractions and I definitely did not have to worry about him looking at me with cold indifference
13:23I want to hear a song I whispered Finn hummed softly you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make
13:29me happy when skies are gray with Finn taking care of me I started getting better little by little
13:35the sunlight was especially bright today Finn and I were in the backyard hanging sheets out to dry we
13:40ended up laughing and playing around on either side of the fabric the breeze lifting it between us
13:45then someone called my name from beyond the fence Emma I turned around Brian was standing there the
13:50hanger slipped from my hand and fell straight onto the grass Finn noticed the shift in my expression
13:55immediately and stepped in front of me without hesitation I tugged lightly on the hem of Finn's
14:00flannel shirt it's okay I know him go take care of the blue crabs in the kitchen I just need
14:05a minute
14:05to talk to him we walked over to a wooden bench by the shore the ocean breeze tangled my hair
14:10I forced
14:10a small awkward smile it's been a while Brian he stared at me his voice cold who is that fox
14:16my new fostered
14:17bee skin
14:31Brian and Logan were twin wolf beast kin that my cousin Isabella and I rescued from the underground
14:36beast trade back then the two of us stood there staring at those filthy little wolf pups and without
14:42even needing to say much we each decided to adopt one I took Brian Isabella took Logan 13 years passed
14:48in the blink of an eye all that time I believe that even if Brian didn't like me he would
14:54at least feel
14:54grateful that I had saved his life that illusion shattered the day I accidentally overheard him
15:00talking to some other beast kin someone asked Emma's been really good to you why are you always so
15:07cold to her who asked her to be good to me you've got it good and don't even realize it
15:15good then I
15:16guess I should thank Emma properly if she hadn't taken me first me'd be the one with Isabella right now
15:20I mean makes sense compared to Isabella the head cheerleader Emma's just nothing special a dull
15:26ache spread through my chest every feeling I had held on to for Brian over the years quietly
15:31disappeared when I got home I sat on the living room couch until well past midnight again and again
15:36I picked up a mirror staring at the girl reflected in it I had always thought I looked average but
15:42now
15:42the longer I looked the worse it seemed with a surge of disgust I tossed the mirror aside all I
15:48could see in
15:48my mind was Isabella's radiant effortless smile I lowered my head and let the weight of my own
15:53insecurity swallow me home the sound of the front door opening broke the silence Brian walked in
15:58reeking of bourbon barely sparing me a glance before turning toward his bedroom I wiped my tears with the
16:03back of my hand and stood up for the first time I reached out trying to grab his tail my
16:07hand was
16:08immediately slapped away he stepped back his face full of irritation don't touch me it was exactly the
16:13same reaction as the first time I had tried to touch his wolf ears even after I had taken him
16:18in and cared for
16:19him with everything I had for 13 years a bitter laugh slipped out of me so if you're not pretty
16:25even your
16:25sincerity isn't worth anyone taking seriously I didn't even notice when my tears began to fall one by one onto
16:32the
16:32hardwood floor by the time I looked up again I was alone in the living room my thoughts drifted as
16:37they always did back to
16:38high school and the annual fall homecoming carnival I used to bring a big box of Texas's barbecue and find
16:44Brian in the backyard Brian will you come to the carnival with me this year he'd lift his head out
16:49of the
16:50pool water dripping from his hair no but a lot of people bring their bee skin with them no if
16:57you want
16:57someone to go with you go adopt another one from the shelter so every year I went alone I would
17:03stand off
17:03to the side watching Logan who had the exact same face as Brian yet always wore the gentlest smile
17:09he would ruffle Isabella's hair and ask Isabella do you want that teddy bear she'd nod with a bright
17:16smile rising onto her toes to reach for his wolf ears and Logan would always bend down for her
17:21patient and indulgent I watched him like a thief quietly craving the life Isabella had but one time
17:27Jason a few of his buddies shoved me onto the grass his voice was dripping with mockery
17:32well look who it is Emma a straight a nerd where's your little bee skin didn't feel like coming out
17:38with you one of his friends snickered her bee skin and Isabella's are twin wolves right the older one
17:44ended up with the prom queen and the younger one got stuck with an ugly duckling I refused to back
17:49down gritting my teeth I pushed myself up and swung my fist straight at his friend's face he went down
17:55hard before he could even react Chase lunged at me trying to fight back but I slammed him to the
17:59ground
18:00and kept hitting him until someone finally pulled me off the end result was predictable all of us were
18:04called into the principal's office I thought my mom would be on my side instead right in front of the
18:09principal and Chase she sighed in annoyance honestly what were you thinking they weren't even wrong why
18:14would you hit someone over that I tugged lightly at the sleeve of her coat mom I said barely above
18:18a
18:19whisper she acted like she didn't hear me let's be real she went on you're not exactly pretty and now
18:23you've got this terrible temper too even the beast can you raise doesn't care about you I don't know
18:28how I ended up with a daughter like you sometimes I wish Isabella were my child instead that night I
18:33cried my eyes out in Central Park when I finally went home my father greeted me with a sharp slap
18:37across the face he said I closed my eyes and fell into a heavy sleep my messed up schedule left
18:44my
18:45mind blank when I woke up again when I pushed the door open I realized it was already dusk Brian
18:50was out but
18:50his presence lingered everywhere in the apartment I grabbed a slice of pizza and forced myself to eat
18:55then started packing up everything that belonged to me there wasn't much really after I got into
18:59college at 18 I was afraid my parents would treat Brian badly so I took him with me at my
19:05poorest I
19:06could only afford a run-down studio apartment he slept on the bed and I took the couch Brian was
19:11well
19:11over six feet tall and he would bump his head every time he walked through the low doorway so I
19:15worked
19:15non-stop picking up every part-time job I could find until I finally saved enough for a down payment
19:21on a
19:21small two-bedroom townhouse love has a way of making you feel like you owe everything so I bought
19:26Brian more things than he could ever need I never once considered that he didn't want any of it this
19:30time I decided to give him what he actually wanted freedom after I finished packing I walked out of the
19:35home Brian and I had shared the next morning when the staff at the Bureau of Non-Human Affairs asked
19:40me
19:40for the third time if I was sure I wanted to terminate my bond with Brian I still nodded when
19:44a human
19:44dissolves a bond unilaterally financial compensation is required I left the townhouse to him at the
19:50office Emily handed me the bond termination certificate then hesitated before asking Miss
19:55Emma would you like to give this to Mr. Brian in person or should we mail it on your behalf
19:58I took
19:59out the letter I had rewritten over and over again the night before please mail it to him I said
20:03and
20:03include this there were only two sentences in the letter I am sorry Brian I took you away without your
20:09consent so this time I am giving your freedom back to you I walked out of City Hall got into
20:14my car
20:14and left Los Angeles behind my new life would begin in Florida somewhere by the ocean waiting
20:19for warmer days ahead since my new job was as a lecturer at a university in Miami I rented a
20:24small
20:24beach house with a yard the evening sea breeze carried a faint salty smell as I walked along the
20:28shore wearing a mask the orange glow of the sunset was just right soft and beautiful I took a photo
20:33then out of habit opened my iMessage chat with Brian scrolling up it was nothing but messages from me
20:38photos of little trinkets I found at vintage markets strange shaped clouds in the sky the slow growth of a
20:43sunflower he rarely replied most of the time all I ever got back was a short dismissive yeah the last
20:50message in our chat was from the day I heard the truth I had asked him where are you I
20:54can come pick
20:54you up he never replied by then he must have already received the bond termination certificate and still
21:00he could not even bring himself to say goodbye all that was left in my chest was a dull spreading
21:04ache
21:05after thinking it over I realized my new life should not be tied to the past so I changed my
21:10phone
21:10number deleted my old Instagram and created a new account I packed my schedule as full as possible
21:15just to earn a few nights of uninterrupted sleep some of the more outgoing college girls like to
21:19chat with me between classes professor Emma why do you always wear a mask on campus because I'm not
21:25very pretty who said that oh my god I swear I will shut them up there is no such thing
21:30as an ugly girl
21:31she sounded completely sincere and the others around her nodded in agreement just as indignant I would laugh
21:36it off and smoothly change the subject soon enough they started talking about the beeskin they had at
21:41home then they asked me professor what kind of beeskin do you have I did not know how to explain
21:45everything that had happened with Brian so I gave them a simple answer he died they fell silent for a
21:50long moment until the bell rang and class began after that during my two weekly lectures students would
21:55often bring me little things a Starbucks latte a blueberry muffin or a bar of Hershey's chocolate I could
22:00never finish it all that was when I started thinking about the little fox beeskin on campus who survived
22:05by collecting recyclables beeskin were usually striking in appearance and fox beeskin were among
22:10the most beautiful of all but this one had deep crisscrossing scars covering both sides of his face
22:15he was afraid of scaring the students so he only came out late at night that evening when I left
22:20the
22:20lab and went looking for him it started pouring out of nowhere a figure darted toward me a fluffy
22:25foxtail swaying behind him I called out softly hey little fox huh the young beeskin turned around and
22:31noticed me immediately lowering his head he quickly covered his face with his hands I'm sorry ma'am I
22:37must have misheard please don't mind me the autumn rain carried a sharp chill he was soaked through
22:41water dripping steadily from his clothes I looked at him and said gently you don't have to hide your face
22:46I've seen you around I have hot water and a dryer in my office come upstairs and get warmed up
22:51he
22:51hesitated then slowly lowered his hands and nodded thank you ma'am once we got into my office under the
22:56bright lights I realized how young he was around 18 or 19 about the same age as my freshman while
23:02he
23:02was showering I went next door to the lab to ask about him my colleague Arthur was always eager to
23:07talk and he filled me in without hesitation that little fox is named Finn I heard he used to be
23:12incredibly good looking his former handler tried to sell him to the red light district in the underground
23:17beast trade he refused and even bit someone before escaping during the escape his face got slashed up when
23:23the people from the black market saw he was disfigured they beat him badly and threw him
23:27into the ocean lucky for him the university rowing team pulled him out since then he's been scraping by
23:32on campus selecting recyclables I asked where does he live there's a rundown shed behind the hill on
23:37campus Arthur frowned slightly Emma I heard your beast can passed away you're not thinking about
23:42adopting him are you I bit down on the straw of my hot latte and didn't answer Arthur's voice suddenly
23:47sharpened he looks like that who would want to adopt him his words overlapped with the voices from my
23:51past she looks so plain who would ever like her but why we have hearts too we want to love
23:56and be
23:57loved just the same I looked at Arthur and said quietly he isn't ugly he's just been hurt and he's
24:02kind he's sweet I've seen him share the food he collects with homeless people nearby I've seen him
24:07donate his spare change to the beastkin protection agency so please don't say things like that about him
24:12again when I stepped out of Arthur's office I saw Finn standing in the hallway his blonde hair and tail
24:17were still damp his eyes were brimming with tears feeling a little awkward I changed the subject if
24:22it's hard to do it yourself I can help dry it I took the towel and gently dried his hair
24:26and tail
24:26then used a hair dryer to finish the job it was my first time drying a bee skin's tail and
24:31I was clumsy
24:31I accidentally hurt him more than once and kept apologizing Finn's face turned red it's okay I'm
24:37already very grateful to you when I finally finished I handed him a muffin and a latte he didn't take
24:42them
24:42after a long pause as if gathering all his courage he spoke again ma'am I don't eat much could
24:48you
24:48adopt me my hand froze mid-air Finn continued I know I'm not good looking but I can cook wash
24:54dishes
24:54mow the lawn I can get massages and I know how to grow roses I smiled then took off my
24:59mask and met
24:59his eyes but I'm not good looking either would you still choose me Finn gently reached out and touched
25:04my cheek his movements careful almost reverent you're very cute he said softly I want to go with
25:11you my eyes stung I blinked quickly holding back the tears and took his hand as we walked out of
25:16the
25:16lab building together the rain had stopped and just like that I chose a family for myself I completed
25:21the paperwork and adopted Finn just like he promised he did everything beautifully he kept the beach house
25:26spotless filled the yard with blooming hydrangeas and brought me hot home-cooked lunches at the lab
25:31running those spectral analyses today nearly killed me Arthur said as he wandered in from next door
25:36shamelessly helping himself he took a big spoonful of beef stew and let out a low whistle
25:41damn Finn can cook this is incredible meanwhile the one at my place does nothing but curl up on the
25:46couch and watch Netflix honestly Arthur should have been grateful Brianne could not cook at all
25:51then again maybe he just never bothered to do anything like that for me that night I had the
25:56nightmare again a memory buried deep in my mind I was 17 Isabella and Logan went with me and Brian
26:02to
26:03Universal Studios Orlando halfway through the day the park was hit by a sudden indiscriminate attack
26:08explosions erupted from every direction Logan shielded Isabella while I grabbed Brianne's hand
26:14and ran for the exit we were near the eastern side of the park but the flying debris still cut
26:19into
26:19everyone we were only steps away from the exit when it was blown apart right in front of us at
26:24the time
26:25I had been running ahead and never noticed what happened in that instant but in the dream I saw it
26:30clearly both Logan and Brian threw themselves toward Isabella without hesitation I was left alone collapsing into
26:36rubble and dust with no one caring whether I lived or died Logan and Brianne were only relieved that
26:41Isabella was safe later I lay unconscious in the ICU for days my parents and Brianne stayed by Isabella's
26:47side comforting her as she cried from the shock a voice echoed in my mind mocking me Emma C no
26:53one in
26:54this world loves you it came from everywhere repeating itself over and over surrounding me until I could not
27:00escape it in the dream my soul seemed to float above crouch down clutching my head as I tried to
27:05argue
27:05back that's not true that's not true then faintly someone grabbed my hand and pulled me forward a voice
27:13said Emma that's not true everyone deserves to be loved I woke with a start the first thing I saw
27:18was
27:19Finn sitting at my bedside wiping the cold sweat for my forehead his face tight with worry when he saw
27:24my eyes
27:25open he finally let out a breath tears slipped down my face before I could stop them Finn can you
27:30hold
27:30me he climbed onto the bed and pull me into his arms I clung to him like a child pouring
27:35out everything I
27:36had been holding inside Finn gently patted my back murmuring soft reassurances I did not have to worry
27:41about him snapping at me to leave him alone I did not have to worry about him brushing me off
27:45and
27:45disappearing into distractions and I definitely did not have to worry about him looking at me with cold
27:50indifference I want to hear a song I whispered Finn hummed softly you are my sunshine my only sunshine
27:56you make me happy when skies are gray with Finn taking care of me I started getting better little
28:02by little the sunlight was especially bright today Finn and I were in the backyard hanging sheets out to dry
28:08we ended up laughing and playing around on either side of the fabric the breeze lifting it between us
28:13then someone called my name from beyond the fence Emma I turned around Brian was standing there the
28:18hanger slipped from my hand and fell straight onto the grass Finn noticed the shift in my expression
28:23immediately and stepped in front of me without hesitation I tugged lightly on the hem of Finn's
28:28flannel shirt it's okay I know him go take care of the blue crabs in the kitchen I just need
28:32a minute
28:33to talk to him we walked over to a wooden bench by the shore the ocean breeze tangled my hair
28:37I forced a
28:38small awkward smile it's been a while Brian he stared at me his voice cold who is that fox my
28:44new fostered bee skin
28:58Brian and Logan were twin wolf beast kin that my cousin Isabella and I rescued from the underground
29:04beast trade back then the two of us stood there staring at those filthy little wolf pups and without
29:10even needing to say much we each decided to adopt one I took Brian Isabella took Logan 13 years passed
29:16in
29:17the blink of an eye all that time I believed that even if Brian didn't like me he would at
29:22least feel
29:22grateful that I had saved his life that illusion shattered the day I accidentally overheard him
29:28talking to some other bee skin someone asked Emma's been really good to you why are you always so cold
29:35to
29:35her who asked her to be good to me you've got it good and don't even realize it good then
29:43I guess I
29:44should thank Emma properly if she hadn't taken me first me'd be the one with Isabella right now I mean
29:48makes sense compared to Isabella the head cheerleader Emma's just nothing special a dull ache spread
29:54through my chest every feeling I had held on to for Brian over the years quietly disappeared when I got
30:00home I sat on the living room couch until well past midnight again and again I picked up a mirror
30:06staring at the girl reflected in it I had always thought I looked average but now the longer I looked
30:11the worse it seemed with a surge of disgust I tossed the mirror aside all I could see in my
30:16mind was
30:17Isabella's radiant effortless smile I lowered my head and let the weight of my own insecurity swallow
30:21me home the sound of the front door opening broke the silence Brian walked in reeking of bourbon
30:27barely sparing me a glance before turning toward his bedroom I wiped my tears with the back of my hand
30:31and stood up for the first time I reached out trying to grab his tail my hand was immediately slapped
30:36away he stepped back his face full of irritation don't touch me it was exactly the same reaction as
30:42the first time I had tried to touch his wolf ears even after I had taken him in and cared
30:47for him with
30:47everything I had for 13 years a bitter laugh slipped out of me so if you're not pretty even your
30:53sincerity
30:54isn't worth anyone taking seriously I didn't even notice when my tears began to fall one by one onto the
31:00hardwood floor by the time I looked up again I was alone in the living room my thoughts drifted as
31:05they
31:05always did back to high school and the annual fall homecoming carnival I used to bring a big box of
31:10Texas's barbecue and find Brian in the backyard Brian will you come to the carnival with me this
31:15year he'd lift his head out of the pool water dripping from his hair no but a lot of people
31:21bring
31:22their bee skin with them no if you want someone to go with you go adopt another one from the
31:27shelter
31:28so every year I went alone I would stand off to the side watching Logan who had the exact same
31:34face
31:34as Brian yet always wore the gentlest smile he would ruffle Isabella's hair and ask Isabella do
31:41you want that teddy bear she'd nod with a bright smile rising onto her toes to reach for his wolf
31:46ears and Logan would always bend down for her patient and indulgent I watched him like a thief
31:52quietly craving the life Isabella had but one time Jason a few of his buddies shoved me onto the grass
31:58his voice was dripping with mockery well look who it is Emma a straight A nerd where's your little
32:04bee skin didn't feel like coming out with you one of his friends snickered her bee skin and Isabella's
32:10are twin wolves right the older one ended up with the prom queen and the younger one got stuck with
32:15an ugly duckling I refused to back down gritting my teeth I pushed myself up and swung my fist straight
32:21at his friend's face he went down hard before he could even react Chase lunged at me trying to fight
32:26back but I slammed him to the ground and kept hitting him until someone finally pulled me off
32:30the end result was predictable all of us were called into the principal's office I thought my
32:34mom would be on my side instead right in front of the principal and Chase she sighed in annoyance
32:39honestly what were you thinking they weren't even wrong why would you hit someone over that I tugged
32:43lightly at the sleeve of her coat mom I said barely above a whisper she acted like she didn't hear
32:48me
32:48let's be real she went on you're not exactly pretty and now you've got this terrible temper too
32:53even the bee skin you raised doesn't care about you I don't know how I ended up with a daughter
32:56like you sometimes I wish Isabella were my child instead that night I cried my eyes out in Central
33:01Park when I finally went home my father greeted me with a sharp slap across the face he said
33:08I closed my eyes and fell into a heavy sleep my messed up schedule left my mind blank when I
33:13woke up
33:14again when I pushed the door open I realized it was already dusk Brian was out but his presence lingered
33:19everywhere in the apartment I grabbed a slice of pizza and forced myself to eat then started packing
33:24up everything that belonged to me there wasn't much really after I got into college at 18 I was
33:28afraid my parents would treat Brian badly so I took him with me at my poorest I could only afford
33:34a
33:34run-down studio apartment he slept on the bed and I took the couch Brian was well over six feet
33:39tall
33:40and he would bump his head every time he walked through the low doorway so I worked non-stop picking
33:44up
33:44every part-time job I could find until I finally saved enough for a down payment on a small two
33:49bedroom townhouse love has a way of making you feel like you owe everything so I bought Brian more
33:54things than he could ever need I never once considered that he didn't want any of it this
33:58time I decided to give him what he actually wanted freedom after I finished packing I walked out of the
34:03home Brian and I had shared the next morning when the staff at the Bureau of Non-Human Affairs asked
34:07me
34:08for the third time if I was sure I wanted to terminate my bond with Brian I still nodded when
34:12a human
34:12dissolves a bond unilaterally financial compensation is required I left the townhouse to him at the
34:18office Emily handed me the bond termination certificate then hesitated before asking Miss
34:22Emma would you like to give this to Mr. Brian in person or should we mail it on your behalf
34:26I took
34:26out the letter I had rewritten over and over again the night before please mail it to him I said
34:31and
34:31include this there were only two sentences in the letter I am sorry Brian I took you away without your
34:37consent so this time I am giving your freedom back to you I walked out of City Hall got into
34:41my car
34:42and left Los Angeles behind my new life would begin in Florida somewhere by the ocean waiting
34:47for warmer days ahead since my new job was as a lecturer at a university in Miami I rented a
34:52small
34:52beach house with a yard the evening sea breeze carried a faint salty smell as I walked along the
34:56shore wearing a mask the orange glow of the sunset was just right soft and beautiful I took a photo
35:01then out of habit opened my iMessage chat with Brian scrolling up it was nothing but messages from me
35:06photos of little trinkets I found at vintage markets strange shaped clouds in the sky the slow growth of a
35:11sunflower he rarely replied most of the time all I ever got back was a short dismissive yeah the last
35:18message in our chat was from the day I heard the truth I had asked him where are you I
35:22can come pick
35:22you up he never replied by then he must have already received the bond termination certificate and still
35:28he could not even bring himself to say goodbye all that was left in my chest was a dull spreading
35:32ache
35:33after thinking it over I realized my new life should not be tied to the past so I changed my
35:37phone
35:37number deleted my old Instagram and created a new account I packed my schedule as full as possible
35:43just to earn a few nights of uninterrupted sleep some of the more outgoing college girls like to
35:47chat with me between classes professor Emma why do you always wear a mask on campus because I'm not
35:52very pretty who said that oh my god I swear I will shut them up there is no such thing
35:58as an ugly girl
35:58she sounded completely sincere and the others around her nodded in agreement just as indignant I would laugh
36:04it off and smoothly change the subject soon enough they started talking about the bee skin they had
36:08at home then they asked me professor what kind of bee skin do you have I did not know how
36:12to explain
36:13everything that had happened with Brian so I gave them a simple answer he died they fell silent for
36:18a long moment until the bell rang and class began after that during my two weekly lectures students would
36:23often bring me little things a Starbucks latte a blueberry muffin or a bar of Hershey's chocolate I could
36:28never finish it all that was when I started thinking about the little fox bee skin on campus who survived
36:33by collecting recyclables bee skin were usually striking in appearance and fox bee skin were among
36:38the most beautiful of all but this one had deep crisscrossing scars covering both sides of his face
36:43he was afraid of scaring the students so he only came out late at night that evening when I left
36:48the lab
36:48and went looking for him it started pouring out of nowhere a figure darted toward me a fluffy foxtail
36:53swaying behind him I called out softly hey little fox huh the young bee skin turned around and noticed me
37:00immediately lowering his head he quickly covered his face with his hands I'm sorry ma'am I must have
37:05misheard please don't mind me the autumn rain carried a sharp chill he was soaked through water dripping
37:10steadily from his clothes I looked at him and said gently you don't have to hide your face I've seen
37:14you around I have hot water and a dryer in my office come upstairs and get warmed up he hesitated
37:19then slowly lowered his hands and nodded thank you ma'am once we got into my office under the bright
37:24lights
37:24I realized how young he was around 18 or 19 about the same age as my freshman while he was
37:30showering
37:30I went next door to the lab to ask about him my colleague Arthur was always eager to talk and
37:36he
37:36filled me in without hesitation that little fox is named Finn I heard he used to be incredibly good
37:41looking his former handler tried to sell him to the red light district in the underground beast trade he
37:46refused and even bit someone before escaping during the escape his face got slashed up when the people
37:51from the black market saw he was disfigured they beat him badly and threw him into the ocean lucky
37:56for him the university rowing team pulled him out since then he's been scraping by on campus selecting
38:01recyclables I asked where does he live there's a rundown shed behind the hill on campus Arthur frowned
38:06slightly Emma I heard your bee skin passed away you're not thinking about adopting him are you I bit
38:11down on the straw of my hot latte and didn't answer Arto's voice suddenly sharpened he looks like that who
38:16would want to adopt him his words overlapped with the voices from my past she looks so plain
38:21who would ever like her but why we have hearts too we want to love and be loved just the
38:25same
38:25I looked at Arthur and said quietly he isn't ugly he's just been hurt and he's kind he's sweet I've
38:31seen him share the food he collects with homeless people nearby I've seen him donate his spare change
38:36to the beastkin protection agency so please don't say things like that about him again when I stepped
38:41out of Arthur's office I saw Finn standing in the hallway his blonde hair and tail were still damp his
38:46eyes were brimming with tears feeling a little awkward I changed the subject if it's hard to do it
38:50yourself I can help dry it I took the towel and gently dried his hair and tail then used a
38:55hair
38:55dryer to finish the job it was my first time drying a bee skin's tail and I was clumsy I
38:59accidentally
39:00heard him more than once and kept apologizing Finn's face turned red it's okay I'm already very grateful
39:05to you when I finally finished I handed him a muffin and the latte he didn't take them after a
39:10long pause
39:11as if gathering all his courage he spoke again ma'am I don't eat much could you adopt me
39:16my hand froze mid-air Finn continued I know I'm not good looking but I can cook wash dishes
39:22mow the lawn I can get massages and I know how to grow roses I smiled then took off my
39:26mask and met
39:27his eyes but I'm not good looking either would you still choose me Finn gently reached out and
39:31touched my cheek his movements careful almost reverent you're very cute he said softly I want
39:38to go with you my eyes stung I blinked quickly holding back the tears and took his hand as we
39:43walked out of
39:44the lab building together the rain had stopped and just like that I chose a family for myself
39:48I completed the paperwork and adopted Finn just like he promised he did everything beautifully he
39:53kept the beach house spotless filled the yard with blooming hydrangeas and brought me hot home-cooked
39:58lunches at the lab running those spectral analyses today nearly killed me Arthur said as he wandered in
40:03from next door shamelessly helping himself he took a big spoonful of beef stew and let out a low whistle
40:08damn Finn can cook this is incredible meanwhile the one at my place does nothing but curl up on the
40:14couch and watch Netflix honestly Arthur should have been grateful Brianne could not cook at all
40:19then again maybe he just never bothered to do anything like that for me that night I had the
40:24nightmare again a memory buried deep in my mind I was 17 Isabella and Logan went with me and Brian
40:30to
40:30Universal Studios Orlando halfway through the day the park was hit by a sudden indiscriminate attack
40:36explosions erupted from every direction Logan shielded Isabella while I grabbed Brianne's hand and ran for
40:42the exit we were near the eastern side of the park but the flying debris still cut into everyone we
40:48were
40:48only steps away from the exit when it was blown apart right in front of us at the time I
40:53had been
40:53running ahead and never noticed what happened in that instant but in the dream I saw it clearly both
40:58Logan and Brian threw themselves toward Isabella without hesitation I was left alone collapsing into rubble and
41:04dust with no one caring whether I lived or died Logan and Brian were only relieved that Isabella was
41:10safe later I lay unconscious in the ICU for days my parents and Brian stayed by Isabella's side
41:15comforting her as she cried from the shock a voice echoed in my mind mocking me Emma C no one
41:21in this
41:22world loves you it came from everywhere repeating itself over and over surrounding me until I could not
41:27escape it in the dream my soul seemed to float above crouch down clutching my head as I tried to
41:33argue back
41:33that's not true that's not true then faintly someone grabbed my hand and pulled me forward a voice
41:41said Emma that's not true everyone deserves to be loved I woke with a start the first thing I saw
41:46was
41:46Finn sitting at my bedside wiping the cold sweat from my forehead his face tight with worry when he saw
41:52my
41:52eyes open he finally let out a breath tears slipped down my face before I could stop them Finn can
41:58you
41:58hold me he climbed onto the bed and pull me into his arms I clung to him like a child
42:02pouring out
42:03everything I had been holding inside Finn gently patted my back murmuring soft reassurances I did
42:08not have to worry about him snapping at me to leave him alone I did not have to worry about
42:12him brushing
42:13me off and disappearing into distractions and I definitely did not have to worry about him looking
42:17at me with cold indifference I want to hear a song I whispered Finn hummed softly you are my sunshine
42:23my
42:23only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray with Finn taking care of me I started getting
42:29better little by little the sunlight was especially bright today Finn and I were in the backyard
42:34hanging sheets out to dry we ended up laughing and playing around on either side of the fabric
42:39the breeze lifting it between us then someone called my name from beyond the fence Emma I turned
42:44around Brian was standing there the hanger slipped from my hand and fell straight onto the grass Finn noticed
42:49the shift in my expression immediately and stepped in front of me without hesitation I tugged lightly
42:54on the hem of Finn's flannel shirt it's okay I know him go take care of the blue crabs in
42:59the kitchen
43:00I just need a minute to talk to him we walked over to a wooden bench by the shore the
43:04ocean breeze
43:04tangled my hair I forced a small awkward smile it's been a while Brian he stared at me his voice
43:10cold
43:10who's that fox my new fostered bee skin
43:19at the top 10 to 16
43:20on the west I almost saw it
43:20where the wind is shining and burning something
43:23about the mud però
43:23good
43:23you
43:23like
43:23You
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