- 35 minutes ago
Thirty Seconds Underwater HD
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Today was supposed to be our deep dive mission with my boyfriend, Ethan.
00:05But at the last minute, he galled from Chloe and rushed off.
00:13He didn't notice I'd been caught in the undercurrent.
00:19In those 30 seconds, pinned against the reef with my breathing tube tangled in the rocks,
00:25the only running through my mind was,
00:28I wish he were here.
00:34The first thing I did after climbing ashore was reach up and touch my left ear.
00:39It was still bleeding.
00:41My eardrum had ruptured.
00:44Instinctively, I reached for my phone to text Ethan.
00:50A social media postist popped up on the screen.
00:53In the photo, Chloe Winters was in a swimsuit.
00:59Ethan the was but not alone behind hind her, his hands steady on her waist.
01:04The caption read,
01:06Thirteenth lesson.
01:08The little guy has mastered his second swimming stroke.
01:12It turned out that when I was on the verge of death,
01:18he was teaching another woman how to swimming.
01:21Droplets of water slid from the ends of my hair onto the screen,
01:25blurring the image.
01:29My phone rang.
01:31It was Ethan calling.
01:34Chloe swallowed some water during practice.
01:37You're such a good diver.
01:39You could have made the dive without me.
01:41But Chloe is so fragile.
01:43I had to teach her to swim first.
01:46You must understand, right?
01:50The ringing in my left ear kept going, steady and relentless.
01:56No need.
01:58I can't dive anymore.
01:59And I don't need a dive partner now, either.
02:06After getting my ear treated at the hospital,
02:09I made it back to the apartment.
02:11It was already 7.30 in the evening.
02:16Ethan had gotten home before me,
02:19fresh out of the shower,
02:20his hair still half damp.
02:26You're back.
02:28He didn't bother lifting his head,
02:31his fingers still tapping away at his phone.
02:36I'd sent him messages, too.
02:39A hundred and thirty-seven of them.
02:41All unread.
02:45The water temperature at the pool
02:47was way too low today.
02:49Chloe was in the water for two hours.
02:58Her legs were shaking by the time she got out.
03:01At a depth of a hundred and thirty feet,
03:04when the turbulence kicked up silt and sand,
03:07the water temperature was barely above freezing.
03:14My legs were shaking, too.
03:16So I grabbed that bottle of body lotion from your cabinet
03:19and gave it to Chloe.
03:24Her skin was so dry,
03:26it was driving her crazy.
03:27It's not like you were using it anyway.
03:31That was a limited edition I'd had a friend overseas stand in line
03:35for two weeks to get.
03:38My voice came out hoarse.
03:41I see.
03:44Have some water.
03:46Good for your throat.
03:48Ice-cold Chloe's cup.
03:50Pink cherry blossoms printed on the ceramic.
03:53A fuzzy little rabbit charm dangling from the handle.
03:58Don't overthink it.
03:59I broke your mug,
04:00so just make do with this one for now.
04:06Not thirsty?
04:06I didn't take it.
04:08My hands stayed buried in my pockets.
04:10My fingertips were numb with cold.
04:12On the shoe rack by the door,
04:14a pair of tiny white canvas sneakers had appeared.
04:17A pink cashmere cardigan was draped over the arm of the couch.
04:22This apartment, our home,
04:24was slowly being filled by someone else.
04:31Ethan's gaze finally drifted over to me.
04:36What happened to your ear?
04:38The blood-spotted gauze covering my left ear.
04:41Got hurt.
04:43How'd you manage to be so careless?
04:45Ear injuries are the number one thing
04:48divers are supposed to avoid.
04:52Well, be more careful next time.
04:55But with your skills,
04:57I'm sure you handled it fine.
05:02Not like Chloe,
05:04that little disaster.
05:06You've never needed anyone to worry about you.
05:09It won't clear up.
05:21After my shower,
05:23I went back to my room and opened my laptop.
05:26I clicked into the transfer application portal.
05:31I uploaded the medical certificate
05:33confirming the eardrum rupture
05:35and my permanent disqualification from diving.
05:39Then I submitted my request for reassignment,
05:42coastal data recording,
05:44New Zealand.
05:47The next morning,
05:49I was jolted awake by a searing pain in my left ear.
05:54The complications from the perforation were starting to set in.
05:58The pain radiated through half my skull.
06:04I dry-swallowed to painkillers
06:06before it eased enough to function.
06:12Today I had to go to the East District Diving Base.
06:18The physical copy of my transfer request
06:21needed to be signed in person.
06:27I pushed open the bedroom door.
06:29Ethan was already at the dining table.
06:33Come have breakfast.
06:35Chloe went out of her way yesterday,
06:37stood in line at that trendy bakery.
06:42The sandwiches were packed thick
06:44with bacon and melted cheddar.
06:48I'm allergic to cheese.
06:50One bite and I break out in hives.
06:53He never remembered things like that.
07:00I didn't touch the food on the table
07:02and asked him.
07:07I need to go to the base medical office today.
07:10The doctor wants a follow-up.
07:11I can't drive with my ear like this.
07:15Can you give me a ride?
07:20He looked at my pale face and nodded.
07:27Fine.
07:28I'm heading that way anyway.
07:30Your stuff comes first.
07:31Dive partners.
07:32That's what we're for, right?
07:34At nine, we headed out.
07:37His Maybach.
07:38The passenger seat was pushed all the way forward.
07:42A pink cartoon headrest was strapped to the backrest.
07:49Chloe was short.
07:51Chloe was short.
07:51She liked the seat pulled up close to the dash.
07:56I didn't touch the adjustment button.
07:59I opened the rear door and climbed into the back seat.
08:03Halfway there, his phone rang.
08:10Ethan, where are you?
08:11My leg hurt so bad.
08:13Where I had that cramp last night, it's all swollen now.
08:16Ethan's face changed in an instant.
08:20open to the cheek.
08:21Don't cry.
08:22Don't move around.
08:25He wrenched the steering wheel.
08:27The tires screeched against the wet pavement.
08:31I'm coming right now.
08:34A sharp pain inevitably shot through my ears.
08:41Before I could even speak, he hung up and glanced at me through the rearview mirror.
08:50Lana, Lai, Chloe's leg cramp got worse. I need to go check on her first.
08:59Your prescription isn't exactly an emergency anyway.
09:02I'll drop you off at the next intersection. Just grab a cab from there.
09:09My voice was filled with agony.
09:14We're on the overpass. You can't get a cab here. And my ear really hurts.
09:23He said impatiently.
09:28Lana, can you please not pick right now to be dramatic?
09:33You swam back from a hundred feet underwater all by yourself.
09:38What's a little walking? Chloe's timid. She's hurt.
09:44The car screeched to a stop at a desolate intersection.
09:50Get out. I'll call you once I'm done with Chloe.
09:54I got out of the car. Raindrops hit the open wound on my ear.
09:58The pain drove into my skull like needles.
10:03I walked the rest of the way along the highway in the rain, all the way to the base.
10:12Supervisor Grant took one look at my bedraggled state and his brow furrowed deep.
10:22Ethan didn't drive you?
10:25No. He had something else.
10:29Where's the transfer form?
10:32Supervisor Grant sighed and pulled a document out of his desk drawer.
10:41I've already signed it. Headquarters approved it, too.
10:48I booked the flight for next Monday. Three more days.
10:52He looked at me, hesitating.
10:58Lana, does Ethan know you're leaving?
11:01I picked up the pen from his desk.
11:04On the final confirmation line, I pressed down hard and signed my name.
11:10No. He doesn't need to know.
11:15When I pushed open the apartment door, the living room TV was blaring some variety show.
11:24Ethan was half-kneeling beside the couch, holding an ice pack against Chloe's shin.
11:32You're back? Chloe's leg is really swollen.
11:38I don't feel right leaving her alone, so she's staying with us for a few days.
11:43I stood in the entryway, watching him keep his head down, fussing over a patch of redness no bigger than
11:49a coin.
11:54Lana, why is there a piece of wet tissue stuck to your ear?
12:00Before I could pull away, Chloe's fingernail had already hooked into the medical gauze, soaked through from the rain.
12:10I saw the smirk in her eyes, and the next second, she yanked hard.
12:15The freshly clotted scab tore open along with it.
12:19I let out a cry of pain.
12:22Ah!
12:24Ah!
12:25Ah!
12:26Chloe shrieked and recoiled.
12:28Her eyes instantly went red.
12:31Tears welled up.
12:33I'm so sorry.
12:35I thought it was just a scrape of tissue.
12:39Ethan immediately moved to soothe her.
12:42It's okay.
12:44It's okay.
12:45Don't be scared.
12:48You didn't do it on purpose.
12:51He grabbed paper napkins and shoved them into my hand.
12:59You alright?
13:00Go put some eye-zine on that.
13:03He didn't even stand up.
13:05His other hand was still holding the ice pack against Chloe's leg.
13:10I took those to dry, useless paper napkins and pressed them against the bleeding wound.
13:18When I came back from the bathroom, Chloe was eyeing the plastic bag I'd set on the table.
13:28Lana, were you at the deep-sea diving base just now?
13:35Yeah.
13:37Ethan says the water temperature in the deep sea is freezing.
13:42And it's so dark and cold down there.
13:46That's why he only ever took me to the shallow end 13 times in a row.
13:52She tilted her face up toward Ethan.
13:55Then doesn't Lana get scared, all alone down there in the deep sea?
14:00She's got great technique and nerves of steel.
14:04She made it back safe of 100 feet underwater, without a scratch.
14:10You think everyone's like you, choking on water in the shallow end?
14:15Lana's a professional surveyor.
14:17She doesn't need anyone holding her hand.
14:20First rule of diving, never leave your dive partner 130 feet beneath the surface.
14:28The 30 seconds my breathing tube was caught on the reef.
14:35And my dive partner was in a temperature-controlled shallow pool,
14:40teaching another girl her second swimming stroke.
14:47Ethan, that little silver whistle around your neck is so cute.
14:52Chloe suddenly pointed at Ethan's chest.
14:55That was my rescue whistle.
14:58Ben, for my first deep-water dive tomorrow, can I borrow it?
15:06She tugged at the hem of Ethan's shirt.
15:12I'm scared.
15:14If I can't find you down there, I'll just blow this whistle, okay?
15:20Lana?
15:21This whistle.
15:23Chloe wants to borrow it for tomorrow.
15:25That's fine, right?
15:26Ethan turned toward me.
15:29That was the day we officially became dive partners.
15:32I was the one who hung it around his neck, with my own hands.
15:40I'm putting my life in your hands.
15:44When you hear's whistle, I will come for you.
15:50Those were his exact words to me that day.
15:58It's just a whistle.
15:59It's not like you don't have a spare.
16:01Chloe's going into deep water for the first time tomorrow.
16:04She needs, needs a little security.
16:07Don't be so stingy.
16:09Chloe's small voice drifted from the couch.
16:12Lana doesn't want to.
16:13It's okay.
16:18Of course she doesn't mind.
16:20Right?
16:24Ethan unhooked the metal clasp from around his neck.
16:28He bent down and slipped the rescue whistle over Chloe's head.
16:37There.
16:38If you get scared tomorrow, just blow.
16:41I promise I'll be right there the moment I hear it.
16:47I stood there.
16:48Rooted to the spot.
16:50The ringing in my left ear grew louder and louder.
16:56Take it.
17:00Things that are given away don't need to be returned.
17:04Less than 24 hours until my flight to New Zealand.
17:10The transfer order was already signed.
17:13Minimum three-year assignment.
17:15Maybe I'd never come back.
17:20In the morning, I stood at the stove, stirring a pot of seafood chowder, his favorite.
17:29The master bedroom door opened.
17:32Ethan emerged, twirling his car keys.
17:37The chowder just finished.
17:40Have a bowl before you go.
17:43No time.
17:44Chloe's waits for me.
17:45It's her first time in the deep center day.
17:47She was so nervous she barely slept.
17:54My voice was tinged with sorrow.
18:00Ethan, do you remember how many times you've abandoned me?
18:04His tone was so casual that he didn't pick up on my sadness at all.
18:11Work stuff doesn't count as abandoning.
18:14I looked at him and said very seriously,
18:17Thirteen times.
18:19You abandoned me thirteen times.
18:22Why are you counting like that?
18:24You made it back safe every time, didn't you?
18:30And what if I almost didn't?
18:34Don't say things like that.
18:36You're standing right here, perfectly fine, aren't you?
18:43The ringing in my left ear kept going, steady and unbroken.
18:51Do you have to go?
18:54I asked him one last time.
18:58He was already at the door.
19:03If I'm one minute late, she'll be up on the shore crying her eyes out all day.
19:07The door opened.
19:09Then it slammed shut.
19:10I turned slowly and walked back to the dining table.
19:17I poured the bowl of seafood chowder down the kitchen sink.
19:27Back in the bedroom, I packed.
19:29There wasn't much that belonged to me, a few wetsuits.
19:33Some everyday clothes.
19:37A single 20-inch suitcase was enough to hold it all.
19:44Before I left, I looked back at this apartment one last time.
19:52His shirt from last night was draped over the back of the couch.
20:00The ice pack he'd used on Chloe's foot was still on the bathroom counter.
20:06Her cup sat on the coffee table, right next to his.
20:10Mine was broken.
20:12I never bought a new one.
20:14I sent Ethan one final message.
20:17We're done.
20:20Ethan had just climbed out of the water after Chloe's deep end session.
20:27When he picked up his phone, my message was waiting on the screen.
20:32We're done.
20:39His grip on the phone tightened.
20:43April Fools was weeks ago.
20:46Stop joking around.
20:48But he knew.
20:49Ten years of knowing each other.
20:51Seven years as dive partners.
20:53I had never, not once, played these kinds of games.
20:59Ethan!
21:00I almost sank again back there.
21:03Good thing you pulled me up so fast.
21:08Let's go get sushi for lunch.
21:11Ethan pulled the door open and walked out.
21:15Chloe had already changed.
21:17She was fiddling with the rescue whistle he'd given her.
21:21Sushi?
21:22Yeah.
21:23That new place?
21:24They have my favorite spicy tuna roll.
21:31He nodded on autopilot.
21:33He nodded on autopilot.
21:34Only then did it register.
21:35The one who loved sushi was Chloe.
21:38The restaurant was quiet.
21:41Chloe sat across from him.
21:43Chattering nonstop about her experience in the water.
21:47He didn't touch his food.
21:50The chat window still held only that one lonely breakup message.
21:58No follow-ups.
22:01No.
22:02Where are you?
22:03No.
22:05Come home soon.
22:08He typed.
22:10Got sushi with Chloe.
22:11Won't be doing dinner with you tonight.
22:13Let me know what you want.
22:17Half an hour.
22:19Still no reply.
22:21Ethan.
22:22Let's go watch the fireworks by the river after this.
22:25Okay.
22:26No.
22:26I'm going home.
22:31The apartment door swung open.
22:34No lights had been left on.
22:35The row of black wetsuits.
22:37Empty.
22:40The photo of their first dive.
22:43Flipped face down.
22:44He pulled out his phone and dialed the number he knew by heart.
22:48No answer.
22:49There was still one place he could look.
22:52The East District deep diving base.
22:56Ethan didn't bother knocking.
22:58He shoved the door open.
23:01Grant.
23:03Where's Lana?
23:04Supervisor Grant was in his office.
23:07You didn't know she left for New Zealand?
23:12Our deep dive mev mission is supposed to start next month.
23:16Our dears, Warshili Branner.
23:18What's she doing in New Zealand?
23:20She applied for a coastal data recording position.
23:23Her flight's this afternoon.
23:24Grant slapped a photocopy down on his desk.
23:29As for next month's mission, I've assigned you a new dive partner.
23:34I don't need a new partner.
23:36The only partner I recognize is Lana.
23:41Supervisor Grant's brow furrowed.
23:43He pulled out a medical report.
23:46You didn't know her eardrum was ruptured?
23:52That she's permanently disqualified from diving?
23:56How is she supposed to be your dive partner now?
24:00Ethan stood frozen, his pupils contracting sharply.
24:05What?
24:06Grant said in a cold voice.
24:09That was a hundred and thirty foot strong current zone.
24:15What's the first rule of deep diving?
24:19Your dive partner never leaves your line of sight.
24:22When the turbulence swept her into the reef, where were you?
24:27Ethan's throat was dry as sand.
24:30I thought that deep dive mission was a hundred feet.
24:37She's done solo dives at a hundred feet before.
24:39She can handle it alone.
24:44So, I went to the shallow end to teach Chloe how to swim.
24:48Supervisor Grant was so furious, he actually laughed.
24:52You didn't even read the mission brief?
24:55You left your dive partner alone in the deep sea to go play instructor for some woman who can't even
25:03swim.
25:04Due to gross negligence, the base has decided to revoke all your deep diving certifications for this year.
25:12Ethan didn't argue.
25:14He turned and walked out of the base.
25:19He sat in his car.
25:21He didn't even turn the headlights on.
25:26Lana.
25:29I didn't know you were hurt that badly.
25:34His hands trembling, he opened my chat window.
25:42Lana, I didn't know it was a hundred and thirty feet.
25:45I didn't read the mission brief carefully.
25:52I thought you could handle a hundred feet.
25:55Why didn't you tell me?
25:58Please, just send me one reply.
26:01Anything.
26:03Anything.
26:09This time, he got a response.
26:11He sat up straight.
26:13A single message appeared.
26:16If you had known it was a hundred and thirty feet,
26:19would you have chosen not to go to Chloe?
26:24Ethan stared at those words.
26:27He typed.
26:29I have stayed with you.
26:32But after typing it, he stopped.
26:35One by one, he deleted every letter.
26:38He couldn't lie to himself.
26:40Deep down, he had always been absolutely certain that my skills were good enough.
26:45That I wouldn't die.
26:47So he would always,
26:48every time, choose to answer Chloe's tears.
26:53In the end, the phone slipped from his palm and fell onto the floor mat.
27:02Auckland, New Zealand.
27:04Coastal Survey Station.
27:09I sat in front of the data recorder,
27:12logging today's current readings into the system.
27:17No more diving, no more suffocation.
27:20No more waiting for someone to come save me.
27:25The ringing in my left ear still flared up sometimes,
27:29but I'd learned to coexist with it.
27:33A sharp metallic clink against the desk.
27:36A silver rescue whistle sat beside my keyboard.
27:40Around the mouthpiece,
27:42a faint ring of tiny teeth marks was still visible.
27:49Ollie pulled up the chair next to me.
27:54Lana, there's a guy downstairs looking for you.
27:57He's been standing out there for four hours.
28:01Says he's your dive partner.
28:05My fingers paused over the keyboard.
28:08Dive partner.
28:09What a distant, ironic word.
28:15Don't know him.
28:17Not interested.
28:18Tell security to get rid of him.
28:21He stood up and pointed at the rescue whistle.
28:27What about this?
28:31The whistle I had hung around his neck with my own hands.
28:34The one that meant I was putting my life in his.
28:38The one Ethan had put around another woman's neck.
28:43Throw it in the trash.
28:45The next day, Ollie came to my desk again.
28:50This time, he set down a clear plastic zip bag.
28:53Inside was a ceramic mug,
28:56painstakingly glued back together.
29:02Lana, he's still downstairs.
29:04He made me bring this up.
29:06Said he fixed it.
29:07I stared at the mug.
29:10He'd glued it back together.
29:12But a shattered cup,
29:14no matter how carefully you piece it,
29:16will always leak.
29:19I carried the bag to the trash.
29:21Just throw it away.
29:23Day three.
29:24A bottle of limited edition body lotion.
29:29Day four.
29:30A thick diving logbook,
29:32chronicling every single dive from our seven years as partners.
29:36Day five.
29:37A pair of custom diving rings.
29:42A strange atmosphere settled over the office.
29:47What day is this now?
29:48Thirteen.
29:50I heard he and Lana used to be partners.
29:54Coming all this way after her.
29:57Kind of heartbreaking.
29:59Heartbreaking?
30:01You all know what it means in coastal survey work.
30:03The weight of putting your back in someone else's hands.
30:09He's the one who did her wrong first.
30:12But he's burning up with a fever.
30:14Can barely stand.
30:16He's still staring up at this building.
30:22I tapped the final data entry into the keyboard.
30:26I'm going downstairs.
30:28The automatic doors slid open.
30:31Cold wind mixed with rain blew in.
30:34Ethan was leaning against the wall.
30:36His body trembling slightly.
30:39He'd lost a lot of weight.
30:40His eyes were sunken deep.
30:42The moment he saw me,
30:44a light sparked in his gaze.
30:50What do you want?
30:51He hesitated for a moment and asked.
30:54Your ear.
30:55Is it any better?
30:57It won't get better.
30:59Come back with me.
31:01Please.
31:03I've found the best ear specialist.
31:06We can get it treated.
31:09There is no treatment.
31:14I'm sorry.
31:16If I had just checked the mission depth that day.
31:19Ethan, a hundred feet or a hundred and thirty.
31:22It doesn't matter.
31:23The point isn't the depth.
31:25I spoke coldly.
31:28The point is that you weren't there.
31:33His breath caught.
31:38Being your dive partner is exhausting.
31:41I put my life in your hands.
31:44And you used it to make someone else feel special.
31:47I thought you could...
31:50He was cut off by me before he could finish speaking.
31:57You thought my skills were good enough.
31:59You thought I was independent.
32:08You thought nothing would ever happen to me.
32:17So every single time there was a choice, I was the one who got left behind.
32:23Ethan's voice spiked suddenly.
32:26So desperate, his breathing came undone.
32:28I never meant to abandon you!
32:31I already gave you thirteen.
32:34His lips parted as though he wanted to speak.
32:37Just then, the sharp clatter of high heels echoed across the floor.
32:43Ethan!
32:44Chloe Winters came running over and seized Ethan by the arm.
32:48Tears streaming down her face.
32:51I finally found you!
32:55Why didn't you answer my calls?
32:57Why did you disappear to New Zealand without saying a single word?
33:06Do you have any idea how worried I've been?
33:09Ethan's face went hard in an instant.
33:12He wrenched his arm free.
33:14Who told you to come here?
33:17Because I care about you!
33:21Chloe screamed through her tears.
33:27She won't even talk to you anymore.
33:30She got your diving cervix ernications revoked.
33:34Why are you still chasing after her?
33:38She spun around and glared at me.
33:41Lana Brooks, do you even have a heart?
33:45Ethan came all the way here for you.
33:48Stood in the rain for hours and hours.
33:53How can you treat him like this?
33:56Shut your mouth!
33:57Ethan stepped between me and Chloe.
33:59My business is none of yours.
34:02How can you say there's nothing between us?
34:06Ethan, I love you!
34:10She lifted her chin.
34:12You love me too.
34:16Don't you?
34:17Ethan's face changed completely.
34:20What the hell are you saying?
34:21I don't love you!
34:22I have never loved you!
34:25Chloe let out a bitter, broken laugh.
34:29You don't love me?
34:32Then why, when my leg cramped up,
34:35did you abandon her under the overpass
34:38and drove through the rain to get to me?
34:41You don't love me?
34:43Then why did you take her rescue whistle off your own neck and put it around mine?
34:48You don't love me?
34:52Then why did you leave her alone in the deep sea thirteen times to come to the shallow end with
34:58me?
35:01With every word, Ethan's face went one shade paler.
35:05And my left ear, it felt like a steel needle had been driven in deep.
35:14I only helped you because you were so helpless.
35:18I pitied you.
35:20You gave me every bit of the devotion that belonged to your girlfriend.
35:25And now you're telling me it was just pity?
35:28Ethan stopped trying to reason with her.
35:31He turned to me, frantic.
35:33Lana, it wasn't like that.
35:35She's the one who got the wrong idea.
35:39You were the one who gave her room to get the wrong idea.
35:45And you crossed the line yourself.
35:47He had severed the oxygen line with his own hands.
35:51And now he was asking me if I needed help breathing.
35:56I don't care what you were thinking.
35:58And I don't care where your heart is.
36:01I won't interfere in your life.
36:03I looked him straight in the eyes.
36:06So please.
36:08Stop interfering in mine.
36:10I turned around and walked back upstairs.
36:13I didn't look back.
36:16After that day, Chloe went back home.
36:19But Ethan didn't leave.
36:22He rented a ground floor apartment in the building across from mine.
36:29If he pushed open his window, he could see the light in my kitchen.
36:36He stopped standing outside the office building every day.
36:41Instead, every morning, a paper bag appeared hanging from the handle of my workstation door.
36:49A cup of hot Americano, to slices of whole wheat toast.
36:54No cheese.
36:57When I got off work, the sky was usually already dark.
37:02The survey station is at a remote port.
37:06The two-mile coastal road from the station to the bus stop has no streetlights.
37:12Walking home after dark, I always heard it, a faint footstep, trailing 10 or 15 yards behind me.
37:19When I stopped, the sound stopped.
37:22When I turned a corner, the sound followed.
37:24One night, a stray dog bolted out of nowhere and knocked on the trash can.
37:30The footsteps behind me scrambled out of rhythm.
37:33He ran forward a few steps, then stopped, five yards away.
37:38The dim glow of a street lamp fell across him.
37:41He was wearing a thin trench coat, clutching a long black umbrella.
37:46I looked at him.
37:47He took a step backward.
37:54I won't come close.
37:56His voice was shredded by the wind.
38:00The road's too dark.
38:02You can't see where you're stepping.
38:06I turned away and kept walking.
38:09December 24th, Christmas Eve.
38:12It doesn't really snow in New Zealand, but this year the temperature had dropped below freezing.
38:18I finished up at work, cleared my desk, and walked out of the station.
38:25I wrapped my scarf tighter and started down that pitch black coastal road.
38:30The footsteps followed, as they always did.
38:37I reached my apartment building and pressed the buzzer.
38:45The footsteps behind me stopped at the edge of the street lamp's glow.
38:51He stood there, his shoulders soaked through from the rain.
38:57Ethan Pierce.
39:01Here.
39:04How long are you going to follow me?
39:06His voice was hoarse.
39:09I'm not trying to bother you.
39:11I just, I just want to make sure you get home safe.
39:16It's cold out.
39:20I looked at his lips, tinged blue from the freezing air.
39:25Come inside.
39:28The living room lights were off.
39:30Only a single floor lamp was on.
39:34I walked into the kitchen, turned on the stove.
39:37I filled a pot with water and added some more cocoa powder.
39:41He sat on the edge of the couch, body rigid, hands clasped together.
39:46He didn't even dare lean back.
39:49Do you remember one Christmas Eve years ago?
39:55His voice came from behind me.
39:59That year we were in Iceland.
40:01We'd just surfaced from a dive, freezing.
40:04You said you wanted some hot cocoa.
40:07I went to three different stores and finally found cocoa.
40:12That night, we used to be this warm and sweet too.
40:17That day, he really did go to three different stores.
40:21But after he came back, he got a call from Chloe.
40:25She said she'd broken her leg at a ski resort.
40:28There was no one to take her to the hospital.
40:31He sat in the living room for a full hour on that long distance call.
40:36Arranging hospitals.
40:38Contacting friends.
40:40Finding doctors.
40:42I watched the hot cocoa by my hand grow cold until a layer of white froth finally floated on top.
40:49Utterly disgusting.
40:55In the end, I threw away that cup of hot cocoa.
41:03He only remembered going to three shops for it, but never knew I hadn't taken a single sip.
41:11I turned off the heat and poured the hot cocoa into a cup.
41:16He stared at the cup of hot cocoa.
41:19The veins on the back of his hands stood out.
41:23And then, without warning, tears began falling from his eyes.
41:32Lana.
41:34Drink.
41:37And after you're done, don't come back.
41:41He didn't speak.
41:43He finally understood.
41:44This wasn't a dinner of forgiveness.
41:47This was the final send-off.
41:50He picked up the cup.
41:52His hands trembling violently.
41:54Hot cocoa spilled all over him.
41:57Yet he didn't even seem to notice.
42:00Tears fell one after another into the hot cocoa.
42:04Onto the back of his hand.
42:08Everything you make.
42:10It's always been delicious.
42:13He coughing from the heat.
42:15Tears and mucus running together.
42:18He was a complete, dignity-stripped wreck.
42:21When he was done, he stood up.
42:26He pulled the door open.
42:28Cold wind gusted into the living room.
42:33I'm sorry.
42:35Those were his final three words.
42:38He pulled the door shut.
42:40Heavy footsteps echoed down the hallway, fading, growing distant, until they disappeared completely.
42:47Outside the window, the cold New Zealand rain kept falling.
42:51I picked up the empty cup and walked into the kitchen.
42:55The stream of water washed over the ceramic surface, erasing every trace.
43:03Deep inside my left ear, the buzzing slowly, quietly began to fade.
43:09It stopped.
43:10It stopped.
43:10It stopped.
43:10It stopped.
43:10It stopped.
43:11It stopped.
43:12It stopped.
43:12It stopped.
43:13It stopped.
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