- 1 day ago
Uncle, Deeper Than That
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Uncle Gideon fixed my coach problem. Then he came home and opened my guide. The belt lies across the sheets
00:05beside my fist. I bite down on the wand massager, shaking all over.
00:09Take it. Mouth or ass? His voice drops over my shoulder. Your guide, Tate. Demonstrate.
00:17My eyes snap open outside Coach Hollis' office. Tonight came faster than expected. The package had Jude Loss' name on
00:24it.
00:24Inside was a wand massager and a printed guide telling Jude exactly how to use it. Jude never opened it.
00:31Someone found it in the equipment room first. By lunch, half the roster had photos.
00:37By practice, Coach had the box, the guide, and the group chat on his desk. I was the only suspect.
00:45Coach taps the paper. You brought a sex toy. Into my locker room and wrote Lawson a full cock gobbler
00:55training manual.
00:58Scouts arrive tomorrow.
01:01The door opens behind me. Gideon Mercer walks in from a board meeting. Black suit. Top button done.
01:08My honorary uncle, my emergency contact, and the man whose money paid for half this facility. I am done for.
01:15Coach pushes the screenshots towards him. This is a roster problem now.
01:20Gideon scans one line from the guide.
01:22It's a misread. Tate skips practice and picks fights. He does not ruin seasons.
01:30Coach does not look convinced. Gideon takes off his watch.
01:35That watch could buy half the baseball team. He pushes it across the desk.
01:39Then we keep the room quiet. Agreed?
01:43Coach pockets the watch. He waves me toward the door.
01:46Head back to class.
01:47For one second, I think I survived. I stand too fast.
01:51Gideon uses my full name. Usually, he sends Walt with an apology check.
01:56Today, he came himself. He loosens his tie and pops two buttons.
02:01Gideon gathers the mess, the wand massager, and the guide full of filthy instructions.
02:07His eyes move back to me.
02:10Tonight, you explain every word.
02:14By the time I step back into the lecture hall, half the room is already staring.
02:19A guy in the back waves his phone.
02:21Walsh! That guide really teaching Jude Lawson how to suck your dick?!
02:25I give him the finger and slide into my seat.
02:29Get in line, dumbass.
02:31Electra hall bursts out laughing.
02:33Riley Park leans across the empty seat beside me.
02:36Let me tell coach, I wrote the guide.
02:38Those girls found it and sent it to the locker room.
02:42This isn't on you.
02:43I flip up my notebook.
02:45Too late. I already took the hit. Let it die.
02:47I pull my practice t-shirt over my head and sleep through class.
02:51Even in my dreams, I am still stuck on the whole mess.
02:54I am an MLB draft prospect.
02:56People already talk every time I strike out, party too late, or breathe near the wrong person.
03:03The roster laughing is nothing.
03:05Coach does not think I harassed Jude.
03:08He thinks the rumors make the team look bad before scout day.
03:12That is manageable.
03:13Uncle Gineon showing up himself is not.
03:15The dismissal bell wakes me.
03:17The room is half empty.
03:19Jude is gone.
03:19A granola bar sits on her handwritten notes pushed close to my elbow.
03:28I shove both into my bag.
03:33Outside the classroom window, Walt's black car is already at the curb.
03:39I shove everything into my bag and step out.
03:47Walt is waiting in the hallway.
03:50Uncle Gideon is almost never home before midnight.
03:54Half the time Walt picks me up.
03:56Because Gideon is still at work.
03:58How mad is he?
03:59So I ask Walt the only question that matters.
04:02Walt looks at me in the mirror.
04:04Good luck kid.
04:13The car goes quiet again.
04:15I try one more time.
04:17What time is he coming home?
04:19Walt stops the car.
04:20We are already in the driveway.
04:22He gets out and opens my door.
04:24Through the front windows, I see Uncle Gideon's shadow moving inside the house.
04:28Walt checks his watch.
04:31About 10 minutes ago.
04:34Dinner is already on the table.
04:36Every other chair is gone.
04:38Only one seat is left.
04:39Right beside Gideon.
04:41He cuts the stake.
04:43The cheap birthday watch I gave him sits on his left wrist.
04:46It looks wrong against the rest of him.
04:48I pick at the corner of my napkin.
04:51Uncle Gideon.
04:52I respect Jude.
04:54Okay?
04:54I won't send him anything like that again.
04:56Again?
04:57What else?
04:58He keeps cutting his stake.
05:00Batting gloves.
05:01Gum.
05:02Protein bars.
05:03Normal stuff.
05:05That's all for someone you like?
05:07Uncle Gideon.
05:07I don't actually like him anymore.
05:09You're 20.
05:10Wanting someone is not the problem.
05:12He sets the knife down.
05:15His hand closes around the back of my neck.
05:19The thumb rubs twice.
05:21Calloused and slow.
05:22I try to lean away.
05:24He pulls me into the crunk of his arm.
05:27What are you flitching for?
05:28His hand loosens on my neck.
05:30It slides lower and brushes down my back.
05:33Then he pushes the stake toward me.
05:35Eat.
05:35You're too skinny.
05:37You're too skinny.
05:37Gideon looks like he has already moved on.
05:39He grew up in foster care.
05:41Got pulled into the Mercer family business.
05:43And clawed his way to the top.
05:44Compared to that, my stupid locker room scandal is nothing.
05:48The plate goes empty fast.
05:50I touch my stomach and lean back.
05:52Gideon's chair is empty.
05:54His voice comes from behind.
05:56I sit up straight.
05:58Done eating?
06:00Gideon leans on the door frame with a belt.
06:04Get in here.
06:06Kneel.
06:11My knees nearly fold under the table.
06:13I grip the marble corner until my palm hurts.
06:15I take half a step back.
06:17Eighth grade.
06:18The only other time Gideon used a belt on me.
06:20Someone said they knew where my parents were.
06:22I was stupid enough to follow.
06:24By the time I understood, I was already bait.
06:26Gideon's rivals used me to force him off the Riverside deal.
06:30It was his first big deal at Mercer.
06:32Losing it meant starting over from nothing.
06:36Gideon brought me home that night.
06:38Then he picked up the belt.
06:39Uncle Gideon, I really changed.
06:41I don't like Jude anymore.
06:43His face gets colder.
06:44I am Westlake's draft prospect and its biggest headache.
06:47But every loudmouth knows when to shut up.
06:50I lower my head and walk into the bedroom.
06:52The lights are off.
06:53The hallway light cuts a pale square across the floor.
06:56Gideon stands inside it with the belt in his hand.
06:58I kneel by the bed before he tells me twice.
07:00The velvet pillow smells like him.
07:03And like me.
07:04I slept here last night because he was not home.
07:08I'm sorry Uncle Gideon.
07:10A Gideon pulls the belt tight.
07:11He pulls the belt straight in the dark.
07:14The leather slaps against itself.
07:15Loud and ugly.
07:16The folded belt touches the back of my neck.
07:19It slides down my spine.
07:20Slow and hard.
07:22Until it stops at the base.
07:23He taps twice.
07:24My back goes stiff.
07:26I shift my knees on the carpet and brace myself.
07:29If he needs to hit me, fine.
07:31Let him get it out.
07:33But the belt does not fall.
07:34Paper rustles behind me.
07:37Gideon's voice drops.
07:39Get on all fours.
07:40The arch for me.
07:42Let me hold your waist.
07:45This angle works for the wand.
07:47And for anything else you want inside you.
07:53That is the guide.
07:56The one Riley wrote.
08:00Riley was way too good at writing filthy fantasy.
08:03Shit.
08:07Footsteps move closer behind me.
08:10One hand wraps around my waist.
08:13Gideon is actually following the guide.
08:15Like this.
08:16Hips higher, Tate.
08:18This is your guide.
08:19His grip tightens.
08:20The belt lands hard across my raised ass.
08:23I flinch once.
08:24Gideon drags me back by the waist.
08:26He kneels behind me.
08:28His chest presses against my back.
08:30It is a position meant for sex.
08:32This is not punishment anymore.
08:34Page one, Tate.
08:39His knee presses harder into my lower back.
08:42Or does he get the whole guide?
08:45Gideon waits behind me.
08:47I do not answer.
08:48His knee leaves my lower back.
08:51I grip the carpet harder.
08:54A lighter clicks.
08:56Smoke slides over my shoulder.
08:58Take the t-shirt off.
09:01I reach for the hem.
09:03The t-shirt drags up my stomach.
09:05Then catches under my shoulder blades.
09:08Gideon stops moving.
09:10No.
09:11Bite it.
09:12I freeze with the shirt half off my body.
09:16Now.
09:17I bite down on the hem.
09:20The fabric pulls tight, leaving my back bare.
09:23The rough cotton drags over my back.
09:24It catches on the scratches Reese left in the locker room.
09:27Gideon's fingers spread over my side, slow enough to make it worse.
09:31Then his thumb finds the scratch.
09:35He laughs once.
09:37Your little boyfriend plays rough.
09:39Gideon leans closer.
09:41Did he hold you like this?
09:44His fingers tighten.
09:47I shake my head.
09:49The shirt keeps the answer trapped in my mouth.
09:53Gideon reaches past me.
09:56Coach's confiscated wand hits the sheets.
09:59My whole body locks.
10:02Gideon's voice drops over my shoulder.
10:04Take it.
10:06Mouth or ass?
10:07The shirt stays between my teeth.
10:10He leans closer.
10:11Your guide, Tate.
10:13Demonstrate.
10:14Mouth.
10:15Obviously.
10:16If that thing went in my ass, Uncle Gideon would basically be fucking me.
10:21I lift my head.
10:23The wand massager still in my mouth.
10:24My stomach is bare.
10:26My back is open.
10:27His hand is still on my waist.
10:28Gideon stares at me too long.
10:30Then he presses the cigarette into the door frame.
10:32The ember jumps twice and dies.
10:34He throws the printed guide onto my face.
10:37Read it.
10:37Out loud.
10:39One hundred times.
10:40You don't sleep until you're done.
10:41He turns and walks out fast.
10:43The door slams behind him.
10:47I'm late, no surprise.
10:49My knees are bruised from kneeling last night.
10:52My ass burns every time I sit.
10:55Gideon is already gone when I leave the house.
10:58I'm late.
11:00I'm late.
11:02I'm late.
11:03I'm late.
11:04Riley asks me.
11:05Concerned.
11:05Tell me he didn't actually hit you.
11:07I straighten my back.
11:09Wasn't bad.
11:11Average.
11:11Jude Lawson came looking for you earlier.
11:14Riley lowers her voice.
11:15My hand stops on the protein bar wrapper.
11:17Jude Lawson is my teammate at Westleek.
11:19He is also the team's academic freak.
11:21he keeps his head down better than i do though no wonder coach only came after me what did he
11:26want
11:26riley shakes her head he just asked if you were here the classroom door clicks jude lost his
11:32stands in the doorway a sabermatics folder is tucked under his arm his west look gear is washed
11:37thin at the seams jude knocks once on the door brain step out i follow him down the service hall
11:45he stops at an old supply closet and opens the door whatever this is say it i stay in the
11:53hall
11:54in here i step into the closet judy shuts the door the room is tight all stacked chairs old binders
12:03and dead fluorescent light jude drops the folder behind me it lands on the desk dust jumps into
12:10the air i back into the desk if this is about the package i already took the hit i know
12:18his arms
12:19come down around my waist i go still judy's fingers catch the draw ring of my training pants
12:27then he looks at my mouth
12:31my hand clamps around his wrist oh
12:37so that is what he thinks this is
12:44jude's arms tighten around my waist
12:46i'll let you have me
12:49his hand slides to my drawstring
12:53can you loan me some money
12:55the drawstrings tug toward him
12:58i slap him hard my palm tingles and my voice still shakes loan yes ass no his cheek swells up
13:06high in
13:06seconds the bruise gives him a broken pretty look he doesn't fix his hair or step back jude's face
13:12reminds me of uncle gideon foster system 17 years ago gideon came back to the mersens with a buzz cut
13:17he said the
13:18right polite words at the door his eyes stayed sharp even when he said thank you the mersens had left
13:23him in
13:23foster care his whole life the second they needed him they dragged him back and threw him into the family
13:27business
13:29he clawed his way out of that mud
13:31back in high school he was good enough for d1 baseball
13:34he never got there
13:36the mersels yanked him out before he had the chance
13:39sometimes i think he should hate me
13:41that family ruins everyone it touches
13:43jude smooths the seam of his pants with shaky fingers
13:46a hundred grand i'll pay you back
13:50i shift back against the desk
13:51the drawstrings still dangle in my fist
13:54riley once said his dad has gambling debts
13:57i won't tell anyone
14:01i used to crash on campus sometimes
14:03after the package mess
14:06gideon started sending walt to pick me up every day
14:15i pushed through the front door on an empty stomach
14:20mrs castro is still in the kitchen at this hour
14:22she has a pan going on the stove
14:25she glances at me over her shoulder with a soft look
14:31you're back to staying home now
14:35i drop onto the couch with my book bag under my head
14:39yeah
14:41every night
14:43my cheek presses into the bag
14:46she wipes her hands on a dish towel
14:49good
14:50two grown men nobody home
14:52this house had no warmth
14:58she stirs the pan again
15:01my mother used to live in this house with us
15:08my father chased her down a freeway and forced the marriage
15:13mrs castro never saw any of that
15:16my mother already had a boyfriend back then
15:20my father forced her to break it off
15:24he used me as the chip
15:26to keep her from running
15:32from the day she had me
15:33she couldn't look at me straight
15:35i was the evidence of her ruined life
15:38he broke his leg in that crash
15:40and never walked again
15:43he killed himself a year later
15:48she vanished the same week he was buried
15:51nobody's has seen her since
15:54i was still a kid when she walked out
15:56my eyes are heavy already
16:00the front door rattles open and wakes me up
16:05i sit up halfway and squint at the dark
16:09the shadow stepping in isn't mrs castro
16:13gideon is back drunk and swaying
16:16i push myself up
16:17he pushes me back into the cushions
16:25his weight settles drunk on my chest
16:29his breath presses down like a low cloud
16:31i push at his shoulder
16:34uncle gideon
16:36i need to buy something
16:37about 30 grand
16:40gideon has never been cheap with me
16:42last season
16:43westlake won the conference title
16:45i used his card to feed half the team
16:47the money left over bought him a cheap mall watch
16:49a birthday gift
16:51buying me a gift with my own money
16:53bold
16:53he laughed when he said it
16:54gideon presses his face into my chest
16:56my birthday isn't here yet
16:58his hand wanders down my back
17:00his fingertips hit the scab from yesterday
17:02they stop dead on the spot
17:04gideon says my name quiet
17:05take
17:06cut it off with your little boyfriend
17:08his voice catches at the end
17:09gideon looks up at me
17:10his cheeks are still flushed
17:12cut it off with your little boyfriend
17:13i'm not promising i won't do something insane
17:16i shove his shoulder
17:17look who's talking
17:18he is drunk enough to take that literally
17:21let me check if you do
17:22his hand drops to my waistband
17:24i clamp both fists over the drawstring
17:26my voice shoots up
17:27i am so sick of this
17:29why do both of you want my pants off
17:31trying to fuck me now
17:33his fingers slide between my cheeks
17:35gideon
17:36my voice almost breaks
17:38i shove him hard he sits back and rubs his face
17:41the drunk red drains out
17:42his face goes cold
17:44both of us
17:47i bolt for the stairs
17:49he's slow from the drink
17:50i make it to my room and slam the door
17:52his steps land on the landing after me
17:55don't argue with a drunk
17:56he told me that himself
18:01i lean my back against the door and hold my breath
18:04gideon's footsteps stop on the other side of the wood
18:07he pounds the door once
18:09he knocks again
18:10slower
18:11i don't answer through any of it
18:13the knocks slow down
18:15then stop
18:16i flop onto the bed and pull out my phone
18:18the screen lights up on my chest in the dark
18:21i scroll my texts
18:23jude messaged an hour ago
18:25sports analytics notes you left in class
18:27quiz next week
18:28want me to drop them off
18:29he has been lending me notes
18:31since i wired him the loan
18:32i do not care about quizzes
18:34i just need my game stats clean enough
18:36to keep coach off my back
18:37riley begged me to pass the notes to her after
18:39so i let it ride
18:40before i can answer
18:42another message comes in
18:43is this your place
18:45a pin sits under the question
18:46he's outside
18:49the doorbell rings downstairs
18:51crap
18:52gideon is still down there
18:53i jump off the bed
18:55the phone slides off my chest onto the comfort it
18:57jude doesn't know what gideon is like
18:59he thinks gideon is just family
19:03gideon has sobered up since i ran
19:04he won't have forgotten anything
19:06i see gideon downstairs with jude in my head
19:09my grip tightens on the phone
19:11i jump off the bed and run for the stairs
19:15i come down the stairs one step at a time
19:18jude and gideon are already on the couch
19:20facing each other
19:22jude sits straight with the notebook on his palm
19:25gideon has finished the black coffee on the table
19:28his tie is back on
19:29knotted clean
19:31his eyes are closed
19:32fake asleep
19:35i told you
19:36he's not coming out
19:38call him
19:39see if he picks up
19:40gideon keeps his eyes closed and slouched back
19:43my phone is always on silent
19:47i used to miss gideon's calls all the time when i stayed on campus
19:51he figured that out fast
19:53after a while he stopped calling
19:56jude has never dealt with someone like my uncle
20:00he does not hear the threat in gideon's voice
20:03so he actually calls me
20:04i freeze on the third stare down
20:07my phone is in my hand
20:09my thumb slides
20:11across the screen by accident
20:14the accept icon lights up green
20:23both of them look toward the sound
20:27i freeze on the stairs
20:29and give them an awkward smile
20:31gideon's lips press into a flat line
20:35drunk redness has dreamt out of his face
20:37the chill coming off him could put out a fire
20:41i fumble the phone and hang up
20:46jude stands from the couch
20:50and hands me the notes
20:54i clear my throat low
20:58uncle gideon
20:59i'll walk him out
21:01i don't meet his eyes
21:03jude points across the lawn at his bike
21:08bike
21:09you don't have to
21:12he stands up from the couch
21:18before i can figure out what to do
21:20i need to get out of gideon's line of sight
21:22i follow him to the door anyway
21:27i walk jude out past the front gate to the curb
21:29he stops and turns around to face me
21:31his face has no expression
21:32tate
21:34your uncle's in love with you
21:39the phone slips out of my fingers and falls
21:42i pull a smile across my face
21:43it comes out wrong too wide
21:46jude's is a book word
21:47he didn't even know riley liked him
21:49he doesn't know shit
21:50i use my toe to flip the phone over
21:53what are you talking about
21:54my voice scrapes coming out
21:57jude lifts his chin toward the house behind me
21:59through the window
22:00gideon is alone in the living room
22:03i said your uncle's in love with you
22:05i try to laugh it off
22:06on what basis
22:07because i am
22:09jetty doesn't blink at me
22:10he pauses
22:12like making sure i caught it
22:13and so are you
22:14aren't you tate
22:19the street light buzz
22:20jude swings onto his bike
22:22and rolls down the street
22:24i stand under the light with the cracked phone at my feet
22:27i am a piece of shit
22:29he said it plain
22:31i bend down and pick up the phone
22:34the screen is dead but the shape still fits my hand
22:38i turn around
22:39i walk back across the lawn to the front door
22:41i walk back into the house with my cracked phone
22:43the lights inside are off now
22:44i get pinned against the door before i can move
22:46gideon kisses me without aim or rhythm
22:50his palm cradles the back of my neck
22:52he forces my chin up to meet him
22:54his mouth tastes like whiskey
22:56our tongues collide like jelly
22:57i lift my hand and close it around his throat
23:00gideon laughs into my mouth
23:01he pulls back just enough to talk
23:03what saving yourself for your little boyfriend
23:05his voice is trembling at the edge
23:07he is still half drunk on whiskey
23:08i drag in a breath through my teeth
23:10voice steady
23:10no
23:12i'm saying i pick you
23:14the wand or your cock gideon
23:18i pick yours
23:20guide is still upstairs
23:22you want to try it on me
23:23gideon stops dead for one beat
23:25then he kisses me again
23:27harder
23:27his hand finds my waist in the dark
23:29his fingers dig in through my shirt
23:30our hips grind together
23:32he is hard for me
23:33he lifts me off the floor
23:34my legs lock around his waist
23:36his hard cock presses against my ass
23:38gideon whispers low in my ear from behind
23:40don't think i'm drunk
23:42i tip my head up
23:44i bite his jaw instead of answering
23:46in the bedroom
23:47he pins me to the carpet
23:52he drops the printed guide beside me
23:54and he starts reading from the guide
23:58put lube on my fingers first
24:02i open you slowly
24:07you do not get anything until you can take my fingers
24:11keep your knees open
24:14keep your hands where i can see them
24:16do not touch yourself unless i tell you
24:19hold still
24:24if you move away i hold your hips down
24:29tell me what you want inside you
24:31take my fingers first
24:37then take my cock
24:38do not hide your face
24:43look at me when you come
24:46say my name
24:49again
24:49good
24:50now take me
24:55gideon makes me follow the guide exactly
24:57every time pleasure blanks out the next instruction
25:00he catches it
25:01his palm cracks against my ass
25:02tate
25:03wrong
25:03start over
25:04his mouth presses against my ear from behind
25:06his teeth catch my earlop
25:07is it him
25:08or me
25:10hmm
25:10i grip my teeth and don't answer him
25:12i'm gonna kill him
25:13god damn gideon mercer
25:15he hits the same beat over and over
25:17i grab the collar of his shirt with one hand
25:19i don't let go through any of it
25:21he growers low into my shoulder when i tighten my hold
25:24he fucks me all night
25:26the next morning i sit up in his sheets
25:28alone now
25:29my practice shirt is on the floor in a knot
25:31the collar is split right through to the seam
25:34he wrecked my practice t-shirt
25:37i pull a plain t-shirt out of his drawer
25:39it's clean and a size too big on me
25:41whatever
25:41it will work for today
25:42i haven't skipped practice in weeks anymore
25:44both times i skipped this season it was gideon
25:46both times
25:47i push the classroom door open
25:49riley's pen almost rolls off her desk
25:51i give her a tired grin from the doorway
25:54i drop into my seat and lean forward on the desk
25:56the cushion seat does nothing for my ass today
26:00riley puts her pen down slow
26:02she gives me a long look
26:04she lowers her voice while she watches me
26:06gideon holds grudges huh
26:08how long ago was that thing
26:10he's just settling up with you now
26:12i drop my forehead onto my arm and groan
26:14gideon is a snake
26:16a sneaky little snake ass
26:18i trail off and bite my lip
26:19my phone buzzes between my arms on the desk
26:22a bank push from gideon mercer hits the screen
26:25he wired me 300k dollars
26:29pay after fucking
26:30where the hell did gideon learn that
26:33hooker school
26:34i read the bank push twice over
26:36okay fine
26:38he's got a conscience
26:39i open judid's thread
26:41and forward 30k
26:43he'll have a hundred grand clean by tonight
26:45i send one message
26:46ten paid in full
26:51jude doesn't reply for the rest of the period
26:53the thread sits open with my message at the bottom
26:56the blue check never turns to red
26:58he has my hundred grand and nothing else to say
27:01i drop the phone into my desk drawer
27:03reese walks by my desk
27:05bouncing a baseball in his palm
27:07he taps it twice on the wood
27:11hey walsh you good
27:12his eyes settle on me
27:14cage time
27:15reese taps the ball once more
27:16he flicks his hair back and grins at me
27:18come on
27:19i barely grabbed you last week
27:20let me see if it healed
27:21he yanks the hem of my t-shirt up halfway
27:23the bruises are from gideon
27:24so are the bite marks
27:25reese freezes mid-laugh
27:27i clamp his hand down against my back
27:29i slap my other palm over his mouth fast
27:31reese
27:31shut up
27:32his eyes go wide above my palm
27:34he pulls back enough to talk through his teeth
27:35bro your girl is feral
27:37i shove him into the hallway with my hand over his mouth
27:40he keeps talking through my fingers
27:44how come you didn't
27:45how come you didn't tell me
27:48who
27:48he leans on the railing of the second floor hallway
27:51i heard you got caught last week
27:53was it that jude lost guy
27:54it was him wasn't it
27:56i follow his line of sight into the parking lot below
28:01jude is pinned against the chain link fence
28:07drake stands at the front of the group
28:09his left hand is still wrapped in white tape
28:11charity case bastard
28:15drake called me a charity case bastard last spring
28:18i put a key through his left hand
28:21drake's old man is a debt collector
28:23of course he came for jude
28:30jude's a math kid
28:31he can't even take a slap
28:33he's not gonna live to pay me back
28:36i grab my book bag off the desk and stand up
28:39reese moves to follow me at my elbow
28:42walsh wait
28:43call mr murkers
28:47jude is pinned against the fence
28:49his notes are scattered on the asphalt
28:52drake turns around when he hears me
28:54i bait him
28:57drake
28:58hand healed already
29:00drake rolls his neck once
29:01he drops jude and comes at me hard
29:03i block the first swing
29:05the second one lands across my draw
29:07i yell up at the open sky above the alley
29:10drake catches the look
29:12and laughs flat
29:13reese get down here
29:17who you fooling walsh
29:19nobody's coming to help you
29:20school doesn't give a shit about us
29:22you took out my left
29:25i'll take your left leg
29:27we'll call it square
29:28he raises the blade and points the tip at my left cap
29:31there's a hard click of bone
29:33draken's wrist drops where it shouldn't bend
29:35the knife clatters on the asphalt next to my foot
29:38gideon stands between me and drake
29:40his face is dark
29:42useless
29:43reese comes up behind him
29:45he looks at drake's guys
29:47who suddenly forget how to move
29:50yeah walsh
29:51since when can you not handle one guy
29:58gideon turns his head
30:02i was talking to you
30:04took you long enough to find the alley
30:08mr merson
30:09i called you
30:10that was me
30:11even drake knows when to run from a worst problem
30:14his guys back off first
30:15gideon holds out his hand
30:16up
30:16his fingers are thick
30:18i learned that last night
30:20i take his hand
30:21gideon pulls me the rest of the way up
30:24get checked
30:25maybe you caught a hero complex virus
30:29my phone got taken
30:33my phone got taken
30:33i got the money
30:34thanks for that
30:35and for today
30:36reese walks jude over to the campus clinic
30:38the passenger door slams shut on me
30:41gideon and i are the only ones left inside the car
30:44he locks all four doors
30:46gideon undoes his right cuff button
30:48calm as anything
30:51money
30:53you gave it to him
30:54i clutch the seat belt across my chest hard
30:56i loaned it
30:57the money was mine to give
30:59how much
31:01a hundred grand
31:02gideon undoes his own seat belt
31:04and climbs into my lap
31:06he pats my cheek twice with two fingers
31:08all of it to the pretty boy
31:12you got anything left to eat with
31:16the passenger seat is too narrow for two grown men
31:18my knees hit the console
31:21uncle gideon
31:22what are you doing
31:23we're outside
31:26did i say i was doing anything
31:29or are you hoping i do
31:32i try to lock my knees together
31:34his knee comes up between them
31:35he pries them apart
31:36this is the school lot
31:38anyone could walk past us right now
31:40his mouth hovers right over my face
31:42last time tate
31:43cut it off with your little boyfriend
31:46don't push me
31:47he bites the underside of my jaw
31:48not soft
31:49then stop calling me uncle
31:51i keep my wrists where he put them in front
31:53the tie squeezes tighter when i flex my hands
31:55my jaw is wet where his teeth landed
31:57he and my dad share half a bloodline
31:59the half that just takes what it wants
32:01gideon takes me to the hospital anyway
32:03he makes them run a full checkup
32:06gideon left the hospital wing to pull the car around
32:08i sit on the lobby bench by the check-in desk
32:11i look up at the crowd moving through the lobby
32:14my eyes lock with a woman across the room
32:17my mom
32:18at marlene walsh
32:21i do not remember the last time i saw her
32:23marlene walsh walks across the floor
32:25she sits down on the bench next to me
32:28she keeps her eyes on her own hands
32:30her knuckles are white at the joints
32:32how are you
32:33my throat goes tight
32:34i lick the inside of my lip to stall
32:36routine physical
32:38you
32:38there are so many things i want to ask her
32:41why she disappeared on me
32:42why none of them wanted me
32:44whether i'm worth being loved at all
32:45her head dicks forward over her lap
32:47two tears drop onto the back of her hand
32:50she lifts her head and looks me in the eye
32:52her bottom lip is shaking around the words
32:55you look like him
32:57him?
32:58nobody ever told me i looked like my father
33:00she watches my face for a long second
33:02they always said i had her face
33:04has it never crossed your mind
33:05why the mercies never groomed you to inherit
33:10i pinch the inside of my palm hard
33:14her answer comes without a pause
33:18because you were never theirs
33:20i was already pregnant when i married him
33:23i didn't know it then
33:24like them i assumed you were his
33:27from the day you were born i couldn't look at you
33:29he was controlling from the day i met him
33:31the wheelchair was just a matter of time after the crash
33:33of course i ran
33:34marlene gives a bitter little laugh
33:36she tilts her chin up and wipes the tears
33:39i do not blame her for running
33:40i just do not understand why she never thought to take me with her
33:45she bites her lip before the next one
33:49even if i'd known you weren't his
33:53i still wouldn't have taken you
33:55i stare at her
33:56i do not even notice gideon standing by the door
33:59she blinks and more tears fall
34:01tate i shut you out for years
34:03i do not know how to fix that
34:04so i kept being wrong
34:06i was part of the life she could not look at
34:08her child with the man she loved
34:10left behind with the mercers
34:11then i remember the first time gideon got called in by my school
34:15he walked in late with his hair a mess
34:17unlit cigarette in his teeth
34:20he tapped my just passing test
34:22hey
34:23passed
34:25steak tonight then
34:26he asked how i liked steak
34:27i said medium
34:29he cooked it medium every time after
34:32that night
34:32i asked him over the bloody plate
34:35i fight
34:36i skip class
34:37you don't think i'm a bad kid
34:38giddy and undead one button
34:40why the fights
34:43they said my parents didn't want me
34:46fair
34:47if you can't beat them
34:48train until you can
34:49what about skipping class
34:52where do you go
34:54the cemetery
34:55then the police station
34:56asking if anyone found my mom
34:58go
34:58want the car
34:59oh you can't drive yet
35:01gideon was the one who kept showing up for me
35:04and he was never blood
35:05the pa calls her name over the speakers
35:09marlene walsh to check in
35:10marlene gets up to take the call
35:13goodbye tate
35:14take care
35:15i shake her cold hand at the bench
35:19i lift my head toward the lobby doors
35:23gideon is there
35:24leaning against the frame
35:25his left wrist is bare where the watch used to sit
35:29he doesn't say one word
35:31the whole ride home
35:32i walk in ahead of him
35:33the second we get inside
35:35i slam him against the door
35:36my hand closes around his throat
35:39my teeth sink into the soft skin under his jaw
35:44gideon
35:45you fuck me and you walk
35:48my grip on his throat tightens hard
35:53i dig my elbow harder into his collarbone
36:03good thing i red shirted
36:05i'm twenty now
36:07otherwise i could put you in prison
36:10you know that right
36:11he lowers his head to kiss me
36:12i turn away
36:13you knew i wasn't a mercer
36:15didn't you
36:16his eyes close for half a second
36:20yes
36:21i yank his tie down hard
36:23with my other hand
36:24then why play uncle in my face for years
36:26handling me takes nothing out of him
36:28one move
36:29and both my legs are off the floor
36:31the couch hits my back
36:32his weight follows
36:33then his teeth sink into my collarbone
36:35i didn't play
36:36you called me uncle for years
36:37so i tried to be one
36:39you wanted me to be your uncle
36:40fine
36:41i was
36:42now you want me to be your man
36:44is that it
36:46now you want me to be your man
36:48is that it
36:49yes
36:49i say
36:50he bites the curve of my throat
36:52deeper than before
36:53you know what kind of man your father was
36:55you should know what kind i am
36:57you picked a fight with me
36:59don't try to leave now
37:00don't make me lock you up
37:02the study at the end of the upstairs hall
37:04you don't want to see what's in there
37:05i look up at the locked study door
37:09he stops behind me with his breath on my neck
37:12tate
37:12last chance
37:13do you want to go with her
37:16so that's what he was worried about this whole time
37:18he is afraid i will chase my mother
37:21afraid i will leave him behind
37:23but i was abandoned a long time ago
37:25i only have him
37:26i pull his tie loose and wrap it twice around his neck
37:29i yank him close to my face by the silk
37:34do you want me to
37:36my teeth scrape his lip
37:37he asks me
37:39truth or comfort
37:40comfort
37:41comfort
37:42comfort
37:44i hope you go
37:45have a normal life
37:47stay far the fuck away from me
37:49i tip his chin up
37:50he has to meet my eyes now
37:52truth
37:52he doesn't blank at the question
37:56lock you up
37:57drug you every day
37:58so your eyes only ever land on me
38:03just me
38:05i do not know when my clothes come off
38:07i come crying
38:08my body shaking around his cock
38:11he grips me and drives into me a few more times
38:14then gideon pulls out
38:16cum spills across my lower stomach
38:18i keep twitching in his arms
38:20we move from the couch to the kitchen counter
38:23then back toward the entryway
38:27nothing we do
38:29is ever enough for either of us
38:33to be in the mouth of her
38:33i do not know what
38:33but i do not know it
38:35that you
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