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00:16It's the Boulay Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV Special
00:21Starring
00:31Matthew Villard
00:40Rachel True
00:42Twin Temple
00:45Derek Mears
00:49And hold me tight and keep a-kissin' me, sweetie
00:53Oh, what a nice day
00:59Jorge Garcia
01:02Barbara Crampton
01:05Felissa Rose
01:07Trick or treat, baby
01:09In your own sweet way
01:11Katya Zomalochikova
01:15Steve Agee
01:18Beth Dover
01:20The Nightmare Girls
01:22Her cocaine, Melissa B. Pierce, and Kendra Onyx
01:29Dana DiLorenzo
01:32John Ross Bowie
01:36Eve Dostmulchuk
01:39Sigourney Beaver
01:54And the Queens of Darkness themselves
01:56Your hunting hosts for the evening
02:00The Boulay Brothers
02:05Welcome to the show, darlings
02:07And happy halfway to Halloween
02:12As we all know, there are so many of you little goblins and gooly-goos out there
02:16Who just love all things Halloween and horror
02:18But unfortunately, you've got another six months until your favorite holiday is here
02:23And we feel it would just be cruel to make you wait all through the spring and summer just to
02:27get your fiendish fix
02:29So, we've decided as the newest self-appointed sentinels of Samhain
02:33To give you a little sustenance by creating our own holiday special
02:37That will give you a sinful serving of Halloween and horror
02:40That is guaranteed to keep you well-fed until October 31st
02:44You see, tonight, we've put a special call-out to all of our fellow famous monsters to come together and
02:51join us
02:51For a sinister spectral spectacular
02:54Filled with blood, gore, witches, vampires, and all things that go bump in the night
03:00For a halfway to Halloween celebration
03:05So, why don't you just go ahead and turn down the lights
03:07Lock your doors and pull those covers up over your heads
03:11Because it's time for the Boulé Brothers Halfway to Halloween TV special to begin
03:46I mean, what's the deal with pitchforks?
03:48I've never seen a villager bale hay.
03:52Well, I quit my job.
03:55You quit?
03:56I quit.
03:57Get out.
03:59Why'd you do that?
04:00I can't work for that guy anymore.
04:02He's insane.
04:04Literally.
04:05What did you expect?
04:07He's a mad scientist.
04:11You know, you never see any normal scientists.
04:14They're all mad.
04:16Just once, I'd love to work for a normal scientist.
04:21You know what this means, Igor.
04:23Without a job, you're going to have to move back in with your parents.
04:29Great.
04:30I give up one mad scientist for two mad parents.
04:34Maybe it won't be so bad.
04:36Maybe one person who's more insane than my parents.
04:45Well, full moon.
04:48So?
04:49So?
04:49So what?
04:51Look at my face.
04:53It's covered with fur.
04:54I got fangs.
04:56Just don't kill anyone.
04:58This isn't going to kill anybody.
05:00You're a werewolf.
05:01It's what you do.
05:02You kill people.
05:03Oh!
05:05I can manage to not kill anybody for one full moon.
05:09You?
05:09You can't go one full hour without killing somebody.
05:12I can last longer than you.
05:16Care to make it interesting?
05:21What are you thinking?
05:23I'll bet you $100 you kill someone before me.
05:27I want in on them.
05:28Great deal.
05:29Hey, count me in two.
05:30You?
05:31Yeah.
05:32You don't kill people.
05:32You're a lab assistant.
05:34We're monsters.
05:34We kill people.
05:36Oh, I kill people.
05:38What do you think I do on my days off?
05:39Okay, but you're going to have to put in more money.
05:42Yeah.
05:43500 bucks.
05:46Deal.
05:47All right.
05:49Get them up.
05:52Now, may the best monster or lab assistant win.
06:06What do you want to eat?
06:09Huh?
06:17Time to die.
06:18Yeah.
06:22Jimmy, I've told you, playing with dolls is for girls.
06:25Now, get ready for bed.
06:29Hey, kids.
06:30Do you want to kill your awful parents, but you're not sure how to hide the body?
06:33Well, have we got the answer for you.
06:36Introducing the Easy Cake Cremation Oven.
06:43Simply murder your parents.
06:45Huh?
06:48Dismember their bodies and set your cremation ovens to 1,600 degrees Fahrenheit and watch
06:55your worries disappear.
07:01Oh, look.
07:02It's Mommy's wedding ring.
07:06Kids, what's that smell?
07:09Smells like something's burning.
07:11Let me give you a hand.
07:13That's what we were hoping.
07:16The new Easy Cake Cremation Oven comes with everything you see here.
07:20Light bulb not included.
07:37Nothing quite says Halloween like murdering your family, does it?
07:42Absolutely not.
07:44I mean, just look at Michael Myers.
07:46He's made a killing out of it.
07:50Well, speaking of Michael Myers and murder, that reminds me.
07:53We've already seen the devil, a werewolf, an Igor, and a Frankenstein Seinfeld.
07:58But we haven't really seen any blood yet.
08:00Hmm, and I'm starting to get a little thirsty.
08:04Hmm, me too.
08:05What about you, darlings?
08:07Are you ready for a little blood?
08:09Well, I hope you are, because coming up next, we've got a campground slasher, a satanic siren,
08:15and a trip to the puppet theater that you won't soon forget.
08:18So, without further ado, let's begin the next abominable act by welcoming to the stage
08:24the satanic singing sensations themselves, the one and only Twin Temple.
08:59Babalon, secret whore I fell upon.
09:03Babab babab카� customize?
09:05Babalon, secret whore I fell upon.
09:08Babab bababab molecular?
09:10Secret whore I fell upon.
09:14Babalon
09:17I got a girl and her name is Babalon.
09:22She looks the visions
09:24They get in her exaphone
09:27We'll send the man out of fire
09:29Light up the golden dawn
09:36Ba ba ba Ba Babylon
09:39Sacred core I call upon
09:41Ba ba ba ba Babylon
09:43Sacred core I call upon
09:46Ba ba ba ba Babylon
09:48Sacred core I call upon
09:51Ba ba bum
09:55The birds will be up
09:57Say, now it's got payments, she's the mother of my abomination
10:05Don't want a wedding, a wanted invocation
10:13Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, the only secret for I call it home
10:19Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, the only secret for I call it home
10:23Be, be, be, be, be alone
10:26Take me before I call
10:29Love, love, love
10:33Seven, seven, seven days a week
10:37Seven, seven, seven, eight be
10:42Seven, seven, seven
10:47Oh, she makes me bleed
14:05And not tying.
14:20Thank you,
14:22Drew.
14:25Right, Johnny?
14:28I'm sorry I was such a dick my whole life.
14:31Too late!
14:36So if you're looking for the next greatest...
14:42Just one.
15:00So anyway, you should call us today, Camp Happy Trail,
15:06to begin your new journey and a whole new life without any baggage today.
15:12Call 1-800-CAMP-KIDS to book your child's day today.
15:39Sorry, I didn't see you standing there.
15:41Greetings, oils and ghouls, witchy-poos and boo-berries.
15:44It's that time of year, the perfect time of year for a horror comic.
15:48And you think comic books are just spandex and superheroes?
15:50Think again, my friend.
15:51Horror comics have been around since the 1940s.
15:54From Dr. Occult to...
15:59Huh.
16:00These things were so spooky that even the government tried to get them banned.
16:05There were Senate hearings in 1954
16:07blaming horror comics for juvenile delinquency.
16:11It was...
16:15Huh.
16:16And you know what we have to say to censorship, don't you?
16:19We say, fuck censorship with a witch's broken tit.
16:23That's what we have...
16:28Okay.
16:29Maybe I'm getting a little too freaked out reading this thing.
16:31But you know what?
16:32I gotta find out how it ends.
16:33So if you'll excuse me.
16:52Good evening, my frightful fanatics.
16:55My deathly devotees.
16:58Tonight's tale takes us into the world of a loving puppet maker.
17:03And his wife.
17:04The puppets are their children.
17:07And you know what they say about children.
17:10They see all.
17:13Even when we think they aren't watching.
17:44The puppeteer loved his children.
17:46puppets with all his heart have some hot tea my dear your cough will wake the dead
17:54thank you my love of course my dog now now let me get back to work our little children need
18:03me
18:12the puppeteer loved performing and his wife helped to run their struggling business
18:19but alas the life of a puppeteer's wife isn't resplendent with the fancy mink stoles
18:27and jewelry that the puppeteer's wife felt she deserved but she had a plan that she had
18:34been implementing slowly but surely drop by drop for quite some time
19:03she cashed in his life insurance and sold the old theater where the puppeteer had plied his trade
19:09and then she planned to sell all of the puppets that people would be willing to buy
19:15and for those that didn't and these old puppets can just go in the trash
19:20they're just wood and string wood and string worthless
19:40and by the way
19:43and by the way
19:55and by the way
20:09Wood and spring, wood and spring, isn't life a funny thing?
20:56SORRED
20:59Whoo Whoo and that was some scary shit kids but just a comic book absolutely nothing to be scared because
21:37Now that was entertaining
21:42Twin Temple are so cool
21:47I just love the devil
21:52While Halloween may be all about monsters, horror, and getting scared
21:55We mustn't forget that it's also all about candy and treats and we happen to have a special guest chef
22:01here on hand
22:02Who is going to give you a lesson on how to make some quick delicious holiday fare that is sure
22:06to satiate all of the little trick-or-treaters in your neighborhood
22:09And speaking of creepy cuisine
22:11We also have a super weird musical guest who came here all the way from Russia just to perform a
22:16song that celebrates her favorite Halloween treat
22:19ravioli
22:21ravioli
22:24ravioli
22:25Bon Appetit Uglies and let the show begin
22:29ravioli
22:31ravioli
22:31ravioli
22:32ravioli
22:32ravioli
22:33ravioli
22:34ravioli
22:36ravioli
22:41ravioli
22:43ravioli
22:51ravioli
22:53ravioliups
22:54Hello,
22:55darlings. I'm Barbara Crampton. Welcome to my kitchen I'm
22:59going to teach you how to prepare some of my favorite fast spooky recipes that are guaranteed to make you
23:07feel like the Season of the Witch's, right around the corner
23:12I'll start things off with a finger food recipe.
23:17Crush the meat around the bone and the knuckles so that you can loosen them up.
23:22So I'm using a nutcracker.
23:25Oh my God, that's amazing.
23:27Do you hear that crunch?
23:29It's going to be delicious.
23:30And then you want to sprinkle a little bit of lemon.
23:34Then some extra virgin olive oil.
23:37I always use it.
23:38Don't they look delicious?
23:40I might have to take a little sample.
23:46Next, brain vichyssois.
23:50Here, we're going to take a fresh head.
23:54Crack open the cranium.
23:56Ready?
23:58Oh!
24:00Oh my gosh, well, you know, it gets a little messy, but it's worth it.
24:07We're actually going to take the brain out of the skull.
24:11So all that delicious juice in there.
24:15I'm going to lift this up.
24:17There we go.
24:18Oh my God, that looks amazing.
24:20And we're going to take that and pop it just like that.
24:24Bam!
24:25Beef roth.
24:27There you go.
24:28I didn't measure, but I think that should be good.
24:30I think this is the best part of the whole recipe.
24:35Pig's feet.
24:35Yummy.
24:37Mash that in.
24:38Maybe, I don't know, one more.
24:40That didn't feel like quite enough.
24:42It already sounds delicious.
24:46Perfect.
24:47Look at that beautiful crimson color.
24:49That is going to be amazing.
24:53Oh my gosh.
24:55We're going to take the whole head and bake it in the oven for about two hours.
25:02Ooh la la.
25:04Ha ha.
25:06As you can see, the finished dish is just, well, to die for.
25:13Last but not least is our main course, which is a classic cannibal charcoal barbecue.
25:21See what I did there?
25:24Now, as you can see, I already have a fresh carcass, but what I'm going to show you is
25:30how to glaze it.
25:31Now, first, you want to take the giblets out.
25:36Yeah.
25:37They're a little stringy, but they're going to be so yummy.
25:41My hand's got a little, I don't know, red from all the blood.
25:45I've got to wipe them off.
25:46Yeah.
25:47That's good.
25:49Now, you're going to mix this right up with some other stuff.
25:52First, we have a little soy sauce.
25:54Pour that right in.
25:56Yeah.
25:57Everybody loves ketchup.
25:58You can put it on anything.
26:00That is going to be amazing.
26:03Now, just toss it all over the crispy exterior of the body.
26:08Ha ha.
26:11So, voila.
26:12That's all the time we have today, my friends.
26:15I hope you enjoy making these recipes with your family as much as I enjoyed making them
26:20with your family.
26:23Happy halfway to Halloween, ghouls.
26:25And we'll see you next time on From Beyond Barbara's Kitchen.
26:30It's delicious.
26:36Do you have questions about your love life?
26:38Do you wonder if you'll meet the man of your dreams?
26:40Are you curious about how many kids you'll have or how rich you'll be one day?
26:44Do you want to know if your husband is cheating on you?
26:46Well, now you can get the answers to all of these questions and more by calling us here
26:49at the Halfway to Halloween hotline.
26:51Everybody knows Halloween is the time when our world is closest to the spirit world.
26:56But if you need help now, our Halfway to Halloween operators are standing by to connect you directly
27:04to some spooky spirits who can answer all your psychic questions and more.
27:12Let's take a call now and I'll show you how easy it is.
27:18Hello, caller.
27:19How can we help you?
27:20Oh, yeah.
27:22That slutty witch costume is so fucking hot.
27:25Oh, I just want to stick my face in your...
27:27Whoa, uh, let's move on to the next caller.
27:32Hello, stranger.
27:34How can we help you?
27:36Hi.
27:36My mom doesn't know I'm gay, but I was...
27:38Yes, she does.
27:40And it's your best friend.
27:42She's the one.
27:43Are you sure?
27:44The spirits can see that.
27:46Well, no, but honestly, your friend sounds like a real bitch.
27:50Oh, my gosh, thank you.
27:51You helped me so much.
27:52Oh, thank you.
27:53Bye-bye now.
27:55Bye.
27:55God, what a fucking loser.
27:57Excuse me?
27:59Hello?
28:00Knock, knock.
28:00Uh, who's there?
28:02I'm glad you asked.
28:03For an easy payment of $59.99 per minute,
28:05you can have these answers and more.
28:08Hi, so I have a stalker,
28:09and I want to know if he's watching me now.
28:11Ooh, okay.
28:12Let me see what my tarot cards hold for you.
28:19Oh, the death card.
28:21Uh, death does not necessarily mean you're gonna die.
28:26See, the death card holds many meanings.
28:29You know, in some cultures, death means rebirth.
28:36Hello?
28:38Call us now at the Halfway to Halloween hotline
28:41and get your questions answered today.
28:46Our service and website are for entertainment only.
28:47This service is for adults 18 years of age and older.
28:51Thanks for paying attention.
29:01Thanks,
29:02I love you.
29:02I love you.
29:07I love you.
29:10I love you.
29:13I love you too.
29:18I love you.
29:19You appreciate it.
31:50Well, that was truly bizarre.
31:53And I loved every ravioli minute of it.
31:57I did too.
31:58And you know, I'm really enjoying our little halfway to Halloween celebration so far.
32:01But I can't shake the feeling that we're missing something.
32:04It's sex.
32:08Yes, yes, Halloween is all about dressing up and monsters and candy and all of that.
32:13But it's also about being a total slut.
32:18What are you talking about?
32:20Think about it.
32:21Every adult Halloween costume is just a classic costume with the word sexy before it.
32:28Hmm.
32:29Sexy nurse.
32:31Mm-hmm.
32:31Sexy doctor.
32:33Ooh.
32:34Sexy fireman.
32:35Aw.
32:36Sexy devil.
32:37Ooh.
32:39I guess you're right.
32:40And also, nothing says Halloween like a sexy late-night hookup.
32:46Halloween always makes people lose their inhibitions and can get them caught up in all sorts of scandalous acts.
32:53True, but as we all know from watching almost every horror movie, the people who usually partake in provocation rarely
33:00make it out alive.
33:01Which, sadly, may be the case for the hot and horny couple in our next story.
33:06You see, it was a dark and stormy Halloween night.
33:10Now, now, you don't want to spoil the surprise.
33:17And speaking of surprises, we have one of our own coming up right after our next naughty narration.
33:23Stay tuned, uglies.
33:36Look, okay?
33:37Don't be nervous.
33:38I don't.
33:38We have already done it with a few girls now, and you promised we could do it with a guy
33:42next.
33:43Yeah, I know.
33:43Come on, baby.
33:45It's our anniversary.
33:46Be adventurous.
33:48But what if he tries something with me?
33:51That is going to be fun.
33:52If he tries something, he's going to, I mean, he's going to be fun.
34:00Oh, my God.
34:01I think that's him.
34:02Yeah.
34:03I think, hi.
34:03Hi.
34:04Uh, go, go, get, go around, go around.
34:07Just let him in, let him in.
34:08Okay, okay, that scared me, but.
34:09Oh.
34:09Wait, how do I look?
34:10How do I look?
34:11How do I look?
34:11Good?
34:12Okay, good.
34:12Okay.
34:13Let him in, let him in.
34:14Yep.
34:16Okay.
34:18How do I look?
34:21Whoa.
34:26You, you are much bigger in real life.
34:31Yeah.
34:33That's what they always say.
34:34I bet they do.
34:37Oh, my God.
34:38Oh, my God.
34:39Oh, my God.
34:40Please.
34:41Uh, I'm a lumberjack.
34:43I thought you said you read my profile.
34:45I don't read.
34:47Shiva.
34:47I did, and I forgot to tell you he's a lumberjack.
34:49You didn't tell me.
34:50He's a lumberjack.
34:51I forgot to tell you.
34:52You gotta tell me this.
34:52He's a lumberjack.
34:53I'm so sorry.
34:54Please sit down.
34:56I'll, uh, get some drinks for us.
34:58You, you have an axe.
35:00That's awesome.
35:01Ugh.
35:02Look, I just, I just have to ask.
35:04Do you do this sort of thing often?
35:06Oh, yeah.
35:07Sometimes couples just need someone to come into their relationship and, uh, tear them up.
35:15You know what I mean.
35:16Yeah.
35:17I mean, I, uh, I don't know if we're looking for all that, but.
35:21Like, sometimes I start off just wanting to have a little bit of fun.
35:25Once I get started, I just get out of control.
35:30Before you know it, I get so heated up and I just.
35:34I want to split them both in two.
35:36Oh, God.
35:37Okay, tired.
35:39Look, we are very excited for what happens next.
35:43Um, just be gentle.
35:46You know what?
35:47I am going to get into something a little more comfortable.
35:50And I want you two to bond.
35:53Okay?
35:54It's going to be great.
35:56Wait till you see what she has planned for you.
35:58It's going to be amazing.
36:09All right, guys.
36:10That's what I'm talking about.
36:18Oh, my God.
36:19Oh, my God.
36:20It hurts.
36:20It hurts.
36:20It hurts.
36:21Boys, make sure you save some for me.
36:40All right, boys.
36:42I'm coming.
36:45I can't take them.
36:47It's too big.
36:54Open up, baby.
36:56Don't be scared.
36:57It only hurts when it first goes in.
37:28No!
40:08You know what flows there like wine.
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