- 5 hours ago
Head Witch in Charge - Full EP
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:26Jesus, Mom, can you at least warn me when you're gonna do that?
00:00:30Please?
00:00:31Oh, please. Don't be such a child.
00:00:34Do you still have the Wand of Light?
00:00:45See? The all-powerful magic heirloom.
00:00:48Still safe and sound.
00:00:50You should be more careful.
00:00:51The Wand of Light has the power to grant its user their deepest desires.
00:00:56Yeah.
00:00:57And if it falls into the wrong hands, it would become the most dangerous weapon in the world.
00:01:03But a marriage to another noble witch family would only strengthen your power.
00:01:08Yeah.
00:01:10Unless it's an evil Svensson, right?
00:01:11The Svensons are our worst enemies, Leona.
00:01:16Do you know how much our family has suffered over the centuries because of them?
00:01:20I know.
00:01:22Sorry.
00:01:23You are the guardian of the Wand of Light, Leona, and you can't reach your full potential
00:01:29until you marry and succeed me as head of the family.
00:01:33Come home with a husband next week or I will pick one for you.
00:01:37What?
00:01:38Mom, no, please don't.
00:01:40Leona Sherwood, you are getting married whether you like the boy I pick or not.
00:01:45Mom, please.
00:01:49Don't worry, Mom.
00:01:51I'm the responsible daughter.
00:01:53Remember?
00:01:57Oh.
00:02:01Okay, Leona Sherwood, this is your last weekend of freedom.
00:02:09For two more nights, fuck my responsibility.
00:02:14I'm gonna have some fun.
00:02:29That would be $25.
00:02:32I think you mean it's on the house, right?
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37It's on the house.
00:02:57There you are, little Miss Sherwood.
00:03:06Where the hell are you?
00:03:07I'm in Vegas, like I said I would be old, man.
00:03:09Hey, don't you get smart with me, you little shit.
00:03:13Remember your mission.
00:03:14Seduce the Sherwood heir and marry her and then that whole obnoxious family will be there
00:03:20to pay off our debts.
00:03:21You mean your debts.
00:03:22Quiet.
00:03:23It's bad enough that I have a sorry excuse for an heir.
00:03:26You are an embarrassment to the Spence in name.
00:03:30Now, if you don't marry the Sherwood girl like I told you, I am going to sell your little
00:03:35sister off to old Fitzgerald to be his fourth wife.
00:03:39Dad, secret is just a kid.
00:03:41When I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
00:03:44Until then, you shut up and do as I say.
00:03:48Do you understand?
00:03:49Yeah.
00:03:50I understand.
00:03:52Good.
00:03:53And you, keep practicing.
00:03:55You sound god-awful.
00:03:58Heartless fucking bastard.
00:04:14It's two of us.
00:04:15You're saying you don't remember me.
00:04:18Who remembers Shippen and his dumb teens anyways?
00:04:20No way.
00:04:22Totally.
00:04:22I love that show.
00:04:23I watched it when I'm sitting at like 2 a.m.
00:04:26This is one of my favorites.
00:04:28It definitely doesn't get the love that it deserves.
00:04:30But I think it's one of their best ones.
00:04:31Really?
00:04:33I never begged you for a sappy romance kind of guy.
00:04:38Looks can be deceiving.
00:04:44The Wand of Light.
00:04:46So it does exist.
00:04:48Maybe I'm just jaded.
00:04:50It's hard to believe that love like that actually exists in real life.
00:04:53Why not?
00:04:54We're witches.
00:04:56Monsters and magic exist in our world.
00:04:58Why can't true love?
00:05:01I'm Lili, by the way.
00:05:04Lili Collins.
00:05:08Eric Phillips.
00:05:09Nice to meet you, Lili Collins.
00:05:12Damn, he's hot.
00:05:14And I'm in Vegas.
00:05:15I deserve a little fun.
00:05:17Well, Eric Phillips.
00:05:19I'll be in the poker room tonight.
00:05:21Maybe I'll see you there.
00:05:23Maybe.
00:05:42Okay, Svinson.
00:05:44Don't fuck this up.
00:05:59Eric, motherfucking Svinson.
00:06:01Excuse me?
00:06:02You ghosted me for three months after sleeping with me,
00:06:05and you think you can sit there and act like nothing happened?
00:06:07I think you've got me confused with someone else.
00:06:09Don't gaslight me, Svinson.
00:06:11Listen, I know exactly who you are.
00:06:27You know who she is?
00:06:29I think she's got me confused with someone else.
00:06:43You nervous?
00:06:45Not at all.
00:06:47You can always fold, you know.
00:06:49I'd hate to send you home empty-handed.
00:06:53Not a chance.
00:06:55I'm here to win.
00:06:57You sure?
00:06:58It seems like your focus is somewhere else.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:03I am very focused.
00:07:06Hmm.
00:07:08Are you guys done making gugu eyes at each other or what?
00:07:12You're full of shit, Phillips.
00:07:14I call.
00:07:15Yeah, there is no way that you have this.
00:07:18But don't worry.
00:07:20I'll let you go another round.
00:07:22Once I beat you.
00:07:23Actually, I think I'm about to hit the jackpot.
00:07:29Eric?
00:07:32Eric?
00:07:50I've wanted to do that since I saw you by the pool in your bikini.
00:07:54Eric, everyone can see.
00:07:56Eric, do you want me to stop?
00:08:13That's it.
00:08:14Let him watch.
00:08:16Give him a show.
00:08:28Wait, please don't stop.
00:08:31Use your words.
00:08:34Tell me what you want.
00:08:35I want your tongue inside me.
00:08:37Please.
00:08:38That's a good girl.
00:08:45No.
00:08:49Wait.
00:08:50Wait.
00:08:50I think I'm gonna...
00:08:53Was that some kind of vision?
00:08:58No.
00:08:59That was from him.
00:09:09Lucky son of a bitch.
00:09:11Beginner Lux.
00:09:12Let's see you do it again next hand.
00:09:14No can do.
00:09:16I have a date with a...
00:09:18Very pretty lady.
00:09:24Why do I have the feeling that you're not exactly as you present, Eric Phillips?
00:09:31It is Vegas.
00:09:33Isn't that part of the fun?
00:09:46You know, it wasn't very nice of you to tease me with your strap of your dress during our game.
00:09:53Hmm.
00:09:54It's very distracting.
00:09:57Well, you know, it wasn't very nice of you to send me that little vision during our game.
00:10:03I just wanted to give you a little sneak preview.
00:10:14Eric, there are people.
00:10:16And if you're quiet, they won't see you.
00:10:21I should stop.
00:10:23This wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.
00:10:24I knew you were right before.
00:10:26I'm not who I say I am.
00:10:29And who out there is exactly as they present?
00:10:33But I am...
00:10:34Look, I don't care who you are outside of this.
00:10:37For once in my life, I...
00:10:39I just want to forget about everything.
00:10:43Just live in the moment.
00:10:45And I think you...
00:10:47can help me do that.
00:10:55You remove the camouflage.
00:10:57I want you to see you.
00:11:00The real you.
00:11:02But then you'll know who I am.
00:11:04I already know who you are.
00:11:07The real you...
00:11:09The real you...
00:11:09wants to let go.
00:11:15No one's ever looked at me like that.
00:11:18He really wants me.
00:11:20The real me.
00:11:22Fuck.
00:11:24You are gorgeous.
00:11:27I want you, Eric.
00:11:30I need you.
00:11:35Spread your legs for me.
00:11:41Keep your eyes open.
00:11:44I want you to watch yourself come all over my fingers.
00:11:53Keep your eyes open.
00:12:00I thought you said that they couldn't hear me.
00:12:02They can't if you stay quiet.
00:12:04Keep your eyes open or I'll stop.
00:12:11It's a good girl.
00:12:13I'm down in my head.
00:12:18Oh my god.
00:12:21They hurt me.
00:12:21I can't.
00:12:22Just relax.
00:12:25I can't, Eric.
00:12:28It's okay.
00:12:29Don't think.
00:12:31Just tell.
00:12:33Tell me anything.
00:12:35So good.
00:12:37But I need more, Eric.
00:12:42You feel so good.
00:12:44I can't wait to put my mouth on you.
00:12:49So I'm going to make you come.
00:12:51I'll get you there.
00:12:53I'm going to go down.
00:12:55I want you to scream my name.
00:12:57Let it go.
00:12:58Five.
00:13:00Four.
00:13:02Three.
00:13:03Two.
00:13:28I can't believe I just came on his hand in front of other people.
00:13:33I think this is your floor.
00:13:41I'll be at the fountain tomorrow at eight o'clock.
00:13:45If you decide that you want one.
00:13:48See you there.
00:13:58How does he know what floor I was on?
00:14:06So you've told me all about your wild sister and the things that she's done.
00:14:09Mm-hmm.
00:14:11What about you?
00:14:13Me?
00:14:15I'm the responsible sister.
00:14:17The boring one, if you will.
00:14:20And I do what I'm supposed to do.
00:14:22Follow the rules and all that good stuff.
00:14:25I don't believe you.
00:14:27I mean, I know how you are in an elevator.
00:14:29Oh, come on.
00:14:33Come on.
00:14:34It's Vegas.
00:14:35Let me be your bad influence.
00:14:37Just for tonight.
00:14:41So, any bad ideas?
00:14:47Just one.
00:14:54What are you doing?
00:15:06What are you doing?
00:15:12No games.
00:15:13Just fuck me already.
00:15:15I thought I would try to woo you first.
00:15:16You would consider me rude.
00:15:18Maybe we could take it slow?
00:15:19Well, your lips say one thing.
00:15:21But your body says something else.
00:15:35Wait.
00:15:38Shit.
00:15:39I almost lost my cool.
00:15:41I gotta remember the plan.
00:15:44Oh, my God.
00:15:46I can't believe I just did that.
00:15:47That was so embarrassing.
00:15:48This is why I don't do crazy shit.
00:15:50That was way too much.
00:15:52Hey.
00:15:53You're never too much.
00:15:54You don't understand, Eric.
00:15:56Okay, if my family saw me do any of that, they would freak out.
00:15:59Tonight's not about your family.
00:16:01Tonight's about you.
00:16:02Remember?
00:16:03Forget what everyone else has told you to do.
00:16:06Do something that you want to do.
00:16:08Something no one would expect.
00:16:10Maybe he's right.
00:16:12I've spent my whole life doing what my family's told me to do.
00:16:18For once in my life, I'm doing something for myself.
00:16:22She spotted the chapel.
00:16:25Just like I planned.
00:16:29So, are you, uh, you sure about this marriage thing?
00:16:32It's only temporary.
00:16:34Okay, and old magic is weak.
00:16:36The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:16:39So, are you ready for a holy matrimony?
00:16:42I'm ready if you're ready.
00:16:44Ah!
00:16:45Come on!
00:16:49Let's go.
00:16:55You nervous?
00:16:59Just, never been married before.
00:17:07Um, it's my sister.
00:17:08I need to take this.
00:17:09Oh, yeah.
00:17:10Take your time.
00:17:12Elvis here wants me to pick out a hand fast bouquet.
00:17:14Hey, mama.
00:17:14Let's get some flowers for you.
00:17:15Come on.
00:17:15Let's do it.
00:17:17You need to come home.
00:17:19Now.
00:17:19I can't.
00:17:21Secret.
00:17:21Eric, Dad's up to something.
00:17:23He invited Fitzgerald to the house and made me dress up.
00:17:26He looks at me weird.
00:17:27It really freaks me out.
00:17:29You were my big brother, E.
00:17:30I need you.
00:17:31Here.
00:17:32Listen, I can't leave right now.
00:17:33But I promise, when I come home, I'll have enough power to get rid of Dad forever.
00:17:37Okay?
00:17:41Hey.
00:17:44Is everything okay?
00:17:46Yeah.
00:17:48Yeah, it's fine.
00:17:51You, uh, you sure about this?
00:17:54It's only temporary.
00:17:57Come on, we'll be laughing about this for years.
00:18:02Let's go.
00:18:18Right, only temporary.
00:18:20Unless you get hand fasted under a full moon, then the hand fast bond is nearly unbreakable.
00:18:26But she doesn't know that.
00:18:28And once she does, she'll hate me.
00:18:31Is your sister okay?
00:18:33Is something wrong?
00:18:36Nothing's wrong.
00:18:37We're about to get married in Vegas by Ovis.
00:18:40What could possibly be wrong?
00:18:43All right, you ready to rock and roll, you hunk-a-hunk-a-hot couple?
00:18:48Let's get this show started.
00:18:49Let's get this show started.
00:18:49Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:50Woo!
00:18:51Woo!
00:18:53Woo!
00:18:55Woo!
00:18:55Woo!
00:18:56Woo!
00:18:56Woo!
00:18:57Woo!
00:18:57Woo!
00:19:02Woo!
00:19:04Woo!
00:19:05Woo!
00:19:07Woo!
00:19:09Woo!
00:19:11Woo!
00:19:12Woo!
00:19:17this is it i have the wand of light the most powerful object in the world if i leave now
00:19:25i could use it to take control away from my father set secret and i free
00:19:35but i already betrayed her once
00:19:48so
00:20:19I'll have to get more chocolate strawberries.
00:20:22Be back soon.
00:20:32It's only temporary.
00:20:34Okay, and all magic is weak.
00:20:36The hand fast bond will probably only last till the morning.
00:20:39Hmm.
00:20:40That's weird.
00:20:41The mark should have worn off by now.
00:20:51So, did you marry the girl yet?
00:20:58No, it's...
00:20:59complicated.
00:21:01Complicated?
00:21:02Or distracted?
00:21:03You were sent there to marry the Sherwood heir
00:21:06and bind her power to this family,
00:21:08not to play house.
00:21:10You're a Svensson.
00:21:12Act like one.
00:21:13Eric is a Svensson?
00:21:16I married my family's worst enemy?
00:21:19I don't need you to tell me what I am.
00:21:21Then stop hesitating.
00:21:23If the rumors about the wand of light are true,
00:21:26we might catch an even bigger prize.
00:21:28So hurry up and marry the Sherwood girl
00:21:31and then bring her to me.
00:21:33Idiot.
00:21:41He's been lying this whole time.
00:21:49I need to tell her the truth.
00:21:53You lying piece of cruel shit!
00:21:56You didn't want me.
00:21:57You just wanted the fucking wand, didn't you?
00:22:01I didn't even know the wand existed until I met you.
00:22:03You still lied to me, Eric.
00:22:05You knew I was a Sherwood from the start.
00:22:07That's why you gave me a fake fucking name, right?
00:22:09Okay, I did, but that was before we...
00:22:11Before, before you decided to mess with me?
00:22:14Get your dick wet before you ruin me and my family forever?
00:22:17I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:22:18I'm trying to save mine.
00:22:20I know all about you, Svensons.
00:22:22All you do is lie and cheat and steal
00:22:26to get whatever you fucking want.
00:22:27I should have caught it at the poker table,
00:22:29but your little tricks won't work on me this time.
00:22:33The hand fast, Mark, it'll fade.
00:22:35Just like you, just like whatever this was.
00:22:38The hand fast wasn't a trick.
00:22:40Not that part.
00:22:41Not with you.
00:22:43It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:22:45You will never, ever get the wand!
00:22:49Lily, what?
00:22:51When this fades, Eric,
00:22:53I will never have to see you again!
00:23:09So, that didn't happen.
00:23:13My older sister, Effie, told me that the mark would fade a week later.
00:23:17Then a month went by.
00:23:21Then, well...
00:23:25See, this is where you don't fuck with old magic.
00:23:28It's all fun and games, so there's a full moon.
00:23:31Then it's the most powerful magic in the universe.
00:23:38Apparently, getting a hand fast married under a full moon creates a bond that's almost unbreakable.
00:23:43Unbreakable.
00:23:44Also, apparently, the almost part means that both people have to perform the divorce spell.
00:23:52I tried calling, texting, sending flying monkeys, nothing, not a single word from my beloved husband for half a year.
00:24:12And yes, I still sleep with a wand under my pillow.
00:24:15So, the emotional ass whooping I got from my mother for getting hand fasted to a stranger was bad enough.
00:24:22No one can ever find out that I almost lost the wand, too.
00:24:25I just need one night to sleep without thinking about him.
00:24:54Who are you?
00:24:56What do you want with the wand of light?
00:24:59Nothing.
00:24:59Nothing. I'm just here to collect my payday from my client once I bring him that wand.
00:25:05Payday?
00:25:06Someone sent you!
00:25:07Who?
00:25:08I'm afraid I can't break client confidentiality.
00:25:11Sorry, sweetie.
00:25:13Well, I'm afraid that you chose the wrong witch to fuck with tonight.
00:25:17Ugh!
00:25:20Ugh!
00:25:22Ugh!
00:25:23Ugh!
00:25:25Ugh!
00:25:25Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:26Ugh!
00:25:27Ugh!
00:25:27Ugh!
00:25:29Be wise not to fight back, witch.
00:25:32You're in over your head.
00:25:34I'd rather die than let you take the wand!
00:25:39Ugh!
00:25:44Suit yourself.
00:25:45Suit yourself.
00:25:46Ugh!
00:25:49Ugh!
00:25:52Ugh!
00:25:53Ugh!
00:25:53Ugh!
00:25:54Ugh!
00:25:54Ugh.
00:26:04Ugh!
00:26:05Ugh!
00:26:07Ugh!
00:26:08Ugh!
00:26:09Get off me! She has the wand!
00:26:11I got the wand.
00:26:13I'll get the rest later.
00:26:15Ugh!
00:26:16Ugh!
00:26:18Ugh!
00:26:20Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:21Ugh!
00:26:23Oh!
00:26:23How are you?
00:26:29The hand fast mark.
00:26:34Hello wife.
00:26:35Miss me?
00:26:39What are you doing here?
00:26:41Well, you know I thought I'd spice up our marriage, do a little role playing, but it looks like you're
00:26:46more into bondage.
00:26:47I didn't know you were so kinky.
00:26:48Shut up!
00:26:53You should be thanking me, I did just save your life.
00:26:55Thanking you?
00:26:56You're the reason my family's most powerful heirloom is gone.
00:27:00How did you even find me?
00:27:02Wait a minute.
00:27:04You were trying to steal the wand too, weren't you?
00:27:07Maybe.
00:27:09God, you slimy, tall-faced motherfucker!
00:27:13Okay, first you tricked me into marrying you, then you ghost me for six months,
00:27:17and now you come in here like a goddamn fucking cartoon burglar and try to take my wand!
00:27:23Look, I was just gonna borrow it!
00:27:25Yeah, for one of your dirty, no-good Spence and schemes?
00:27:29I just...
00:27:30I need it.
00:27:31Okay, it's...
00:27:33It's the only way that we can be free.
00:27:36Look, my dad doesn't know about our marriage.
00:27:38Not yet.
00:27:39But he knows about the wand.
00:27:40If he gets a hold of it, he's gonna sail to the highest bidder.
00:27:43Whoever controls the wand has the power to take over the world.
00:27:46Or...
00:27:47Worse.
00:27:47No!
00:27:48Worse than tricking me into marrying you?
00:27:50I told you that that wasn't a trick.
00:27:52It doesn't matter, Eric.
00:27:54She has the wand!
00:27:56That shadow thief or whatever!
00:27:58And that's your fault!
00:27:59I can get it back!
00:28:02Look, I know I don't deserve it.
00:28:04But just...
00:28:04Give me one more chance.
00:28:07I can get the wand back.
00:28:08Take care of what I need to take care of.
00:28:10And then I'll do the divorce spell.
00:28:12Please, Lili, just...
00:28:13Give me one more chance.
00:28:15Please.
00:28:15I can't trust him.
00:28:17I shouldn't.
00:28:20But my gut tells me...
00:28:22This time...
00:28:23It might be different.
00:28:30No.
00:28:31No, we're both gonna go get it.
00:28:34It is my job as a Sherwood heir to set things right.
00:28:38So I don't let the wand fall into the wrong hands.
00:28:41And you really think after Vegas I would let you go alone
00:28:44to find the most powerful magical object in the entire world?
00:28:48Fair.
00:28:49Whatever you want, Lili.
00:28:52God, I hate when you call me that.
00:28:54Alright, I'll call you wife.
00:28:57And you can call me whatever you want.
00:29:00Eric, husband, daddy...
00:29:02Shut up!
00:29:03Don't call me wife either.
00:29:05After we get this wand, we will do the divorce spell.
00:29:07Got it?
00:29:08You're breaking my heart.
00:29:09I mean, you're the better half of my soul.
00:29:13Yeah.
00:29:13You're not gonna sweet-talk your way into my pants again, Eric.
00:29:17We'll see.
00:29:22Now, the wand forbids a direct tracking spell, so we have to track its trail.
00:29:27That's a ten-mile radius.
00:29:29We'll never find the wand inside that circle.
00:29:31Well, with the tracking spell, I get a location, okay?
00:29:34It doesn't last long, though.
00:29:36We'll have like three or four days.
00:29:38Well, lucky for you, I already packed our bags.
00:29:42Consider it our official honeymoon.
00:29:48After this, we're done.
00:29:50You got it?
00:29:51Don't go back on your words, Vincent.
00:29:53We will do the divorce spell.
00:29:55Cross my heart.
00:29:56Hope to die.
00:30:15You imagicked a car here?
00:30:17This isn't just any car.
00:30:25This is Bessie.
00:30:27You really expect us to track down the most powerful, magical object in the world?
00:30:32In a car without a roof?
00:30:35I mean, if you're not comfortable...
00:30:40I could go by myself.
00:30:43If you trust me not to run away.
00:30:45Hmm.
00:30:46I wouldn't trust you with a half-eaten newt muffin.
00:30:49I was gonna throw in the trash.
00:30:53Then your chariot awaits.
00:30:55Wife.
00:31:15We've been driving all day, and she hasn't said a single word.
00:31:31You're Svensson.
00:31:32You don't play house with Sheryls.
00:31:34Why are we turning?
00:31:35We don't have any time.
00:31:37We have to find the wand, Eric.
00:31:39That circle is getting further and further away.
00:31:42Plus, this is Green Park.
00:31:43We need to stay somewhere for the night.
00:31:44Why don't you just let me drive?
00:31:46Because you haven't slept either.
00:31:48Plus, no one can drive Bessie but me.
00:31:51What is with guys and cars?
00:31:53Jesus.
00:31:54No. I mean literally, no one else can drive Bessie.
00:31:57My great-great-grandfather put a hex on all of our possessions.
00:32:01Anyone that's non-blood related can't touch it.
00:32:03The Svensons like to hoard their treasures.
00:32:06Your family has issues.
00:32:08Finally.
00:32:09Something we can agree on.
00:32:11Was this your plan all along?
00:32:13Make me feel bad for you because your family's evil so I get all ooey gooey and forget about the
00:32:18divorce?
00:32:19Not everyone in my family is evil.
00:32:21Yeah. Okay.
00:32:35You cross this wall or do anything to piss me off more than you already have, then you do not
00:32:41even want to imagine the hex I'm gonna put on you.
00:32:48I promise, no funny business.
00:32:52Pinky promise.
00:32:53Inhale.
00:33:13Goodnight to you too.
00:33:15What?
00:33:28In Vegas
00:33:30You said you had a sister, right?
00:33:34Yeah
00:33:36Sigrid
00:33:39She didn't ask to be a Svinson
00:33:41She's different than us
00:33:43Better
00:33:45Not like you?
00:33:47No
00:33:49Not like me
00:33:50But you already know that
00:34:32Good morning
00:34:32Good morning
00:34:33Good morning
00:34:43Good morning, wife.
00:34:46I told you not to come.
00:35:04You were saying something?
00:35:07What?
00:35:10How did you know I was awake?
00:35:13The husband always knows.
00:35:21Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to shower.
00:35:27No peeking.
00:35:32Crossed my heart.
00:35:34Hope to die.
00:35:43I need to get a grip.
00:35:45Some washboard abs and a cocky grin aren't enough to make me fall for him.
00:35:50I just need this one time.
00:35:54To take the edge off.
00:36:02I remember he touched me like this in Vegas.
00:36:18Look, I'm so close.
00:36:24Okay.
00:36:25That's it, Lily.
00:36:27Be a good girl.
00:36:28And go for me.
00:36:37Are you ready?
00:36:41Okay.
00:36:43Eric!
00:36:58You said that you wouldn't look.
00:37:01I don't need to look to know what you were doing.
00:37:05Well, I'll think about me.
00:37:07God, you are so full of yourself.
00:37:09Do I know what I heard?
00:37:11Say another word and I'll turn you into a frog.
00:37:17Were you thinking about that time in Vegas where I ate you out in the shower?
00:37:23And you came so hard you almost crushed my skull between your stomachs.
00:37:29I think about those times a lot.
00:37:32Yeah, well, I don't think about them at all.
00:37:59You still haven't even told me what you want the wand for yet.
00:38:03It's on a need-to-know basis.
00:38:05Oh, don't you think I need to know?
00:38:08I am your wife, after all.
00:38:11Oh, now you remember you're my wife.
00:38:13Funny how you only remember that once convenient for you.
00:38:15I remember every time I think about how badly I fucked up in Vegas.
00:38:19So all I am is a mistake.
00:38:21If I remember right, you're the one that suggested that we get hand-fast married.
00:38:25Obviously, that was before I knew about all your bullshit and lies.
00:38:29Duty and responsibility might not be a big deal in your family, but in mine, it's huge.
00:38:35See?
00:38:35There you go again.
00:38:36Always worried about what your family wants.
00:38:38It's never about what you want.
00:38:40I follow the rules because I have to, Eric.
00:38:43If I don't, I end up in situations like this.
00:38:45Did you ever stop to think that maybe that's unfair?
00:38:49That maybe your ideas and their ideas are bullshit?
00:38:53You ever think of that?
00:38:54Spoken like a true Spinson.
00:38:56Well, you're a Spinson too, sweetheart.
00:38:58Not much longer, I can tell you that.
00:39:19I want to get some coffee.
00:39:21It's getting dark.
00:39:22You really think you should be alone?
00:39:23So now that we're married, you think you have to babysit me too?
00:39:30Fine, just don't take too long.
00:39:35You got her in the car or what?
00:39:38Who?
00:39:38Don't play dumb with me, boy.
00:39:41The little Sherwood witch you married forgot to tell me about.
00:39:46You thought I wouldn't find out, huh?
00:39:49You did a good job of hiding it.
00:39:50I'll give you that.
00:39:51Maybe you are my son after all, huh?
00:39:54What's the end game here?
00:39:56You said you just needed to get the Sherwood's wand so you could pay off your debts.
00:39:59What does she have to do with it?
00:40:00Because I'm not an idiot like you.
00:40:03I'll finally have all the leverage I need over the Sherwood family.
00:40:07When I tell them their pretty little heir is my new daughter-in-law.
00:40:12And then it'll be our family that gets to call the shots in the magic world.
00:40:16So you just want to use her?
00:40:18Like you use mom?
00:40:19Like you're using your own daughter.
00:40:21This is not a request, boy.
00:40:23Bring the girl and the wand to me or you will be stripped of your name.
00:40:28Your magic, everything.
00:40:30And your sister, she'll be the one paying the price for your mistakes.
00:40:44This isn't right.
00:40:45The trail should still be here.
00:40:48Would you like some coffee, Ms. Sherwood?
00:40:50Yeah, thank you.
00:40:51Wait, how did you know my...
00:40:54You.
00:40:58But the map said that...
00:41:00That's cute.
00:41:02You think that dusty old map could track me?
00:41:09That wand is mine.
00:41:14Not anymore, it's not.
00:41:16And sadly, my employers need your powers, too.
00:41:19Employer?
00:41:22Hold still.
00:41:23This will only hurt a bit.
00:41:25No, stop!
00:41:26Stop!
00:41:29Hold still.
00:41:34Get away from her!
00:41:40Eric, the wand!
00:41:46Eric!
00:41:54My magic.
00:41:55She took half of my magic, Eric!
00:41:58You're okay.
00:41:58I got you.
00:42:00You're okay.
00:42:01You're okay.
00:42:03I don't understand.
00:42:05The map said that the wand was miles away.
00:42:08What did she want with my powers?
00:42:10The thief must have found some way to bypass the tracking spell.
00:42:13She can't have gone far.
00:42:14We'll find her.
00:42:15Lay load for now.
00:42:16Eric, stop the car.
00:42:17I can't breathe.
00:42:20Okay.
00:42:29Hey, hey, hey.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:31Look at me.
00:42:32You're okay.
00:42:33You're okay.
00:42:33Just breathe.
00:42:34I got you.
00:42:36You're safe.
00:42:38I thought she was going to kill me, Eric.
00:42:41I'm not going to let that happen.
00:42:43Not while I'm breathing.
00:42:57I still hate you.
00:43:01If you hated me, you wouldn't let me touch you like this.
00:43:06This doesn't change anything.
00:43:08It's only scratching an itch.
00:43:11Once we get the wand, and we do the divorce spell, and we forget each other existed.
00:43:21Is that what you want, Lily?
00:43:23You want to forget how good I make you feel?
00:43:26You want to forget I'm the only person in the whole fucking world who can make you feel this way?
00:43:36Eric.
00:43:39Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:43:47We can't do this.
00:43:51This is what goes wrong between us.
00:43:52We can't make that mistake again.
00:43:54We have a job to do, Eric.
00:43:56Let's get the wand.
00:43:58That's it.
00:43:59And then what?
00:44:01You know what happens after, Eric.
00:44:04We do the divorce spell, and we never see each other again.
00:44:18We do the divorce spell, and we never see each other again.
00:44:39Smells like fresh baked pastries, cinnamon, old magic.
00:44:49I should have known.
00:44:51It's a satyr's inn.
00:44:53That spell.
00:44:55A nomenin habitus smell.
00:44:57It's woven into places like this for couples.
00:45:02You mean orgies?
00:45:05Satyr's are the horniest bastards in the lone world.
00:45:09It lowers any fear, doubt, shame.
00:45:13Grants of your deepest desires.
00:45:16Without any fear of judgment or consequences.
00:45:29Here, I don't.
00:45:31I'm trying not to.
00:45:42Here, I don't.
00:45:44I'm trying not to.
00:45:51The spell doesn't create desire.
00:45:55It lets go of the lies.
00:45:57It tells us what we really want.
00:46:00What I want doesn't matter.
00:46:02It matters in here.
00:46:05Tell me what you really want.
00:46:07You can say goodbye.
00:46:10It goes our separate ways.
00:46:12Or you can tell me you want this.
00:46:15You want me.
00:46:18Tell me to stay.
00:46:22Stay here.
00:46:24Please.
00:46:25God, what is this?
00:46:27Is this just the magic?
00:46:32It's not the spell.
00:46:34It's freedom.
00:46:37Even here, the outside world doesn't matter.
00:46:40Just you.
00:46:42And me.
00:46:44I shouldn't want this.
00:46:46I know.
00:46:49I shouldn't be doing this.
00:46:53Or this.
00:46:55To be able to share with it.
00:46:58To the most respected family of the whole rich world.
00:47:02You definitely shouldn't sound this fucking sexy.
00:47:05To mind.
00:47:07You're with the ear.
00:47:09To the share with it.
00:47:11To the family.
00:47:12Who are you?
00:47:14I want you, Eric.
00:47:16I need you.
00:47:21Tell me who you are.
00:47:24Lily.
00:47:25Close.
00:47:30But not quite.
00:47:32Tonight.
00:47:34Tell me who you are.
00:47:36Your wife.
00:47:39Your wife.
00:48:01This doesn't change anything.
00:48:03I know.
00:48:05We can have tonight.
00:48:06And then tomorrow we go back to who we are on the outside.
00:48:10Sure.
00:48:11I'll go back to being my bad self.
00:48:13And you can go back to pretending to be a good little witch.
00:48:17Excuse me.
00:48:18Don't deny.
00:48:19Lily.
00:48:20Share what's been said.
00:48:21I know what kind of dork.
00:48:23Naughty thoughts you have.
00:48:26I don't.
00:48:28It's okay to be bad.
00:48:31You don't have to pretend.
00:48:35I don't, huh?
00:48:39You know, just because I have half my magic doesn't mean I can't play it with you for tonight.
00:48:48Come on.
00:48:49Come on.
00:48:56Now you're going to sit there like a good little witch.
00:49:07And I'm going to do whatever I want to you.
00:49:19I don't remember packing that lingerie.
00:49:21Close your eyes.
00:49:25Eric, you're so good for being such a bad boy.
00:49:32I'm being properly motivated not to move.
00:49:39See how long it takes you to break.
00:49:41For you, I could stay here forever.
00:49:43Pretty to think so.
00:49:45Why don't we test that little theory, huh?
00:49:49We're playing a dangerous game.
00:49:51All you have to do is admit that I win.
00:49:57I'll let you fuck me.
00:49:59I'll even let you come wherever you want.
00:50:06You can come here.
00:50:10Or here.
00:50:13I'll even let you come in here.
00:50:18God.
00:50:19Come on.
00:50:21I know you wanna.
00:50:23Just admit.
00:50:24I'm right.
00:50:27Fine.
00:50:29You win.
00:50:31Oh, what was that?
00:50:32You hurt me.
00:50:34Oh.
00:50:35Oh.
00:50:43So what's my prize?
00:50:48I could torture you like you did me.
00:50:53But I want to be inside you.
00:50:55I want to feel you squeeze me tight.
00:50:59And take me to bed, husband.
00:51:04Call me that again.
00:51:08You want me to fuck you, husband?
00:51:10Yeah.
00:51:12Fuck me.
00:51:15Tell me a story.
00:51:24Like the ones you did in Vegas.
00:51:27I've got a story about my pet goat, Gilmore.
00:51:31And how he got stuck on a magic carpet.
00:51:35Or the story about how my sister tried to negotiate with a troll using only red images.
00:51:41I know.
00:51:43I already know about your family.
00:51:47I want to know about you.
00:51:50What's it like to be a Svensson heir?
00:51:53You want the insider info.
00:51:55Mm.
00:51:56Mm.
00:51:56You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
00:51:58You're going to tell me how wonderful it was growing up as a beloved and blessed Sherwood?
00:52:08Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:52:12Is that what you think being a Sherwood is like?
00:52:14All fun and rainbows?
00:52:16Yeah, everybody loves your family.
00:52:18That's not true, Eric.
00:52:20There are so many people who would love it if we just disappeared.
00:52:24My mother has been shouldering all that responsibility and pressure for decades.
00:52:28And next year, I will be the head witch in charge.
00:52:32Everyone's counting on me to do the right thing.
00:52:34Like eat your fruits and veggies?
00:52:36Like spending my whole childhood being told that the whole world depended on me.
00:52:41Like never bothering to have any hopes or dreams because my whole life was planned for me from the very
00:52:48start before I was even born.
00:52:50I'm always doing the right thing for the family.
00:52:53I was never allowed to even think of doing the wrong thing.
00:52:56I couldn't be tired.
00:52:58I couldn't be scared.
00:52:59I couldn't be angry.
00:53:01One mistake and my family loses everything that they've ever worked for.
00:53:05If this whole world fades to black, it's because I messed up.
00:53:08It's because I didn't do a good job.
00:53:13I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:16I'm glad you did.
00:53:19I don't think I've ever said that out loud before.
00:53:20Your turn.
00:53:22Growing up with Svinson was a little different.
00:53:26The old man likes to say I was the first of his disappointments.
00:53:31I guess it's good.
00:53:33At least I was first at something.
00:53:36I didn't care about disappointing him.
00:53:38I just wanted to get away from him.
00:53:41I had it all planned out when I turned 16.
00:53:44I'd leave, change my name, and the Svinson bloodline would die with me.
00:53:48My mom died when Secret was born.
00:53:53My dad used her against me every day since.
00:54:03My dad used her against me every day since I was the first of my life.
00:54:04I'm so sorry, Eric.
00:54:05I shouldn't have asked.
00:54:09It's okay.
00:54:11Svinsons have always lived in the Sherwood shadows.
00:54:15We are the shadows.
00:54:19All you do is shine.
00:54:30He always asks me what I want.
00:54:34What do you want, Eric?
00:54:39You'd hate me if I told you.
00:54:42I mean, more than you already do.
00:54:46I don't hate you.
00:54:49I never did.
00:54:50I never did.
00:55:25Eric. Something's wrong. Dad's got visitors. A bunch of old guys. I don't know who they
00:55:31are. He made me play piano for them like some kind of dress up doll. It's like freaking
00:55:36me out. Eric. Are you safe? Eric. Are you safe?
00:55:50For now. All those weird old men lived last night. And I hexed my door so no one could
00:55:58get in. Don't let anyone in. If dad tries to get you to play with any of those weird old
00:56:01men, just... I know. I'll just do what he says. I always do. I'm so sick of this E. What
00:56:10if he actually does make me marry one of those guys? I'm never gonna let that happen, alright?
00:56:15Look, I'm close to getting the wand of light. The wand of light? Like, the one from the
00:56:23fairy tales? You can't tell that secret. When I get the wand, be ready for my call. I have
00:56:30a plan. I barely know basic spells. I don't know. You can. I know you can. When the time's
00:56:40that's right, you'll be ready.
00:57:08Filling up Bessie. Meet me downstairs when you're ready.
00:57:20Oh my god! Why do you and mom always do that? A bit high strung, aren't you sis? I was
00:57:28just in the middle of thinking. Yeah, and going by your aura, I can guess about who. Very
00:57:34much giving post-orgasmic afterglow. Aww, yeah. Well, you and your little aura reading
00:57:39can go jump in a lake. Oh, aren't we feisty this morning. Your super hot hubby isn't around,
00:57:45I'm guessing? Or have you already murdered him after catching his dick? I know all the best
00:57:49place is tied to body, by the way. I'm calling Effie. I know all about Eric Spenson. I'm not
00:57:57stupid. And when we get the wand back- You mean if you get the wand back? We will. And
00:58:04when
00:58:04we do, we'll do the divorce spell. This mark will be gone. I'll go home and marry the best
00:58:11person who serves our family alliance.
00:58:16It's not fair, you know. I know I'm the last person who should be saying that, because
00:58:21it's not like I can change it. But it's not. It's just the way it goes, right? There has
00:58:29to be a way for you to be with who you actually want and be a good heir. Effie, what
00:58:36I want
00:58:36has nothing to do with anything in my life. That's fine. It's what it means to be a Sherwood.
00:58:43Just remember, repeating it doesn't make it true. All right. Whatever you say, sis, you
00:58:52know best. I know. Give everyone a hug from me. Tell them I'll be back home soon.
00:59:08Last night was the last time. After today, we're done. If I say that enough times, maybe
00:59:16I'll finally believe it.
00:59:26I'll tell you about my plan with the wand. My family's magic is dying. My father's been
00:59:33cashing in on broken promises three years. But he holds most of the power. And me and
00:59:38Sieg, we just get the scraps. That's how he controls us. If I could use the wand just
00:59:44once, I could take his power away from the break. I'm not trying to ruin your family.
00:59:49I'm trying to save mine. It's the only way that we can be free.
00:59:54That's what you meant by trying to save your family. I was going to tell you the night before.
01:00:00I was going to tell you the truth. And then I was just going to ask if I could use
01:00:03the
01:00:04wand just once. And then I would do whatever you want. Get a divorce, leave you alone forever.
01:00:13Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that morning? Maybe things could have been
01:00:19different. I would have asked you to stay. It's a nice idea. But our families have been at
01:00:27war since the beginning of time. Maybe if we were different people, we have different lives,
01:00:36this would have worked. Maybe we could have worked. Maybe the wand has a spell for that, Eric.
01:00:43A witch can hope. What? Do I have mushrooms growing out of the side of my head?
01:00:56Why are you looking at me like that?
01:00:57Why is it that way?
01:01:09Why are you looking at me like that?
01:01:10Wait. I'm driving.
01:01:11Who over?
01:01:24Oh damn. No damn.
01:01:31You have got to be kidding me.
01:01:39End of the line, witches!
01:02:03No!
01:02:09No!
01:02:12No!
01:02:14No!
01:02:28Now's not a good time, old man.
01:02:30Well, it sounds like my insurance policy worked.
01:02:34You...
01:02:36You sit the shadow with me?
01:02:38Of course I sit her.
01:02:40Do you think I would trust you to finish the job?
01:02:53Demons are very expensive, you know?
01:02:57But I thought that the Sherwood girl's soul in exchange for the wand was a good enough bargain.
01:03:05Souls of magic users apparently taste better.
01:03:19You said you needed her alive.
01:03:21The Sherwoods will never pay off your debts if you kill their heir.
01:03:23I've reconsidered.
01:03:25Once I have that wand, I will be the most powerful witch alive.
01:03:30Debts won't matter.
01:03:32The stupid Sherwoods won't matter.
01:03:34And that's for the girl, Will.
01:03:36I don't need her breathing to use her power.
01:03:39I can always marry Sigrid off to form new alliances.
01:03:43Guess you won't be trapped in a marriage after all, son.
01:03:48You're welcome.
01:03:51Go to hell, old man.
01:03:53Go to hell, old man.
01:04:03Take it!
01:04:06No!
01:04:07No!
01:04:09Your soul will be delicious!
01:04:17I can take Dad's magic.
01:04:19End him.
01:04:21Finally be free.
01:04:26Get off my wife!
01:04:35You'll pay for that, witch!
01:04:48This isn't the last you'll see of me.
01:04:55Hey, I've got you.
01:04:58You didn't run.
01:05:00You're kidding?
01:05:00I'd be a pretty shitty husband if I let my wife's soul get sucked out by a demon.
01:05:08Eric!
01:05:08You can't get rid of me that easily.
01:05:10No, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:12Eric!
01:05:13Oh my...
01:05:15Eric, no, no, no, no, no, stay with me.
01:05:18Oh my god.
01:05:20I can't save you.
01:05:21I don't have my powers.
01:05:23Why didn't you run?
01:05:26You could have saved yourself.
01:05:28I've been saving myself my whole life.
01:05:33I thought I'd try something new.
01:05:36You idiot, you stupid, stupid idiot.
01:05:39Yeah, but I'm your idiot.
01:05:50You took a devil's spell.
01:05:53I had a promise.
01:05:55Now you're free.
01:05:57Yeah.
01:05:59I don't want to be free.
01:06:03I don't want to be free.
01:06:05I don't want to be with you.
01:06:07Just keep secrets safe.
01:06:10Safe from my father.
01:06:12Safe from all of it.
01:06:15You know, those days in Vegas...
01:06:20were the best three days of my life.
01:06:22All right, let's get this show started, okay?
01:06:27I love you.
01:06:30I love you, too.
01:06:32I love you, I love you.
01:06:36Eric.
01:06:39No!
01:07:00The Wand of Light has the power
01:07:03to grant its user their deepest desires.
01:07:10Please, please, please.
01:07:21Eric.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:23Please.
01:07:33Lily.
01:07:35You...
01:07:37You absolute moron.
01:07:42You absolute moron.
01:07:45Be gentle. I was dead for like ten seconds.
01:07:49You're alive.
01:07:51That is for divorcing me on your literal deathbed, you asshole.
01:07:56I thought I was doing something noble.
01:07:58Something cool.
01:08:00The wand gave you your power back?
01:08:03My mom used to say that the wands user grants it its deepest desire.
01:08:08I guess it knew what I really wanted.
01:08:11What did you want?
01:08:14You.
01:08:17Don't scare me like that again, okay?
01:08:19You know, I...
01:08:22I thought...
01:08:23I heard something...
01:08:25I was bleeding out.
01:08:28Uh...
01:08:29Maybe you could...
01:08:31Say it again?
01:08:35Maybe you could...
01:08:37Say it again?
01:08:39I love you.
01:08:41You're expensive.
01:08:43That's my girl.
01:08:50Let's go.
01:08:51Let's go.
01:09:03You ready for one last stop?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:26Ah.
01:09:28There you are.
01:09:30I knew I could always trust a demon to get the job done.
01:09:35Now, where is my wand?
01:09:38Wait.
01:09:39You're supposed to be dead.
01:09:41Wow.
01:09:42You weren't kidding.
01:09:43He really is evil.
01:09:45I put a barrier around this whole house.
01:09:48It's impossible.
01:09:48There's no way you should be able to be in here.
01:09:50There's always a loophole, old man.
01:09:55Secret.
01:09:56You ungrateful brat.
01:09:58How dare you betray me like this?
01:10:01Really, Dad?
01:10:02Playing the family card after you almost sold me into child marriage?
01:10:05You ungrateful little pests!
01:10:15You're powerless now, old man.
01:10:17Your magic's gone.
01:10:18Forever.
01:10:32Eric, Otis, Svensson, release me this instant!
01:10:36That is an order!
01:10:39You can handle it from here, right?
01:10:41His powers are gone.
01:10:43It doesn't scare me anymore.
01:10:46You ungrateful little brats.
01:10:47Both of you.
01:10:48You won't pay for this!
01:10:49You won't both pay for this!
01:10:55Yeah, yeah.
01:10:56Talk soon, pups.
01:10:58We're gonna hit the road.
01:10:59I said get back here.
01:11:00I said get back here!
01:11:02Get back here!
01:11:03Please don't do this, you little b-
01:11:18Go home!
01:11:22I said get back.
01:11:22So, where to now?
01:11:24Should we go and drop off the Wand of Life?
01:11:28Yeah.
01:11:29But there's something I want to do first.
01:11:32That sounds ominous.
01:11:35just so happens that there's another full moon tonight leona sherwood are you asking me to hand
01:11:43fast marry you yeah i think i am very expensive well we better hurry if we're gonna take the
01:11:52wand of light home and make it back in time to the hunkah hunkah wedding chapel of love
01:11:57i wonder if they have the same Elvis i sure hope so but if we're gonna get hand fast married
01:12:03again
01:12:03no more secrets this time so is there anything you want to come clean about now soon to be again
01:12:10husband there is one thing you might want to buckle up we're about to go super speed
01:12:21Bessie could have been going super speed this entire time you didn't tell me to make our trip
01:12:26last longer didn't you you know me so well soon to be again wife
01:12:33leona sherwood will you marry me and not because of some spell or because it's your duty
01:12:41but because you want to
01:12:46yes i will
01:12:58ready oh yeah
01:12:59you
01:13:01you
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