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Transcript
00:00:09Here's our fourth runner-up, Miss Alfonso from Chicago.
00:00:14Let's hear it for her, ladies and gentlemen.
00:00:18Our third runner-up in the 1967 Nationals from Manhattan.
00:00:24Miss Crystal, ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for her.
00:00:26The third runner-up in the 1967 Nationals.
00:00:31Well, I think the more compelling movie to watch is not when, okay, the end of the pageant
00:00:41comes, the winner is announced, and everyone shakes hands, and oh, good job, good job to
00:00:45you.
00:00:45But here is the only winner in the 1967 Nationals, that queen which will reign over America.
00:00:53Hello, ladies and gentlemen, queen of the 1967.
00:00:56The more compelling movie to watch is the bitch who thought she should have won, doesn't
00:01:01win, and gets mad and rips the fucking wig off the other girl and storms off stage and
00:01:06throws a fish.
00:01:07like Crystal LaBeija in The Queen.
00:01:12It was a good film.
00:01:14She looked bad.
00:01:16Shit, she looked bad.
00:01:18And no way or what you think they can do about it.
00:01:20Look at her makeup.
00:01:21It's terrible.
00:01:24Take a picture of me next to Harlow and tell me who's more beautiful.
00:01:27Oh, but get a picture with me and Harlow and see which is more beautiful, darling.
00:01:31Now, darling, I don't mean to take this out on you.
00:01:33You're a very lovely girl.
00:01:34You deserve everything lovely.
00:01:35But she doesn't look beautiful tonight.
00:01:37But she wasn't looking beautiful tonight.
00:01:39She doesn't equal me.
00:01:39Look at her makeup.
00:01:40It's terrible.
00:01:42Remember reenacting pageants for a documentary?
00:01:44No, we're not queen.
00:01:46And we're host the queen.
00:01:47I saw that one, too.
00:01:49And her explanation for why she wanted the money to put it in the bank.
00:01:54It's all for publicity, darling.
00:01:56That's why none of the true beauties came because they knew they wouldn't win, darling.
00:02:01Monique told me not to come.
00:02:02That's why Monique is not here in dress, because she is one of the...
00:02:05Monique, darling.
00:02:06Man of ours.
00:02:07Monique was not here as a friend of yours.
00:02:09She is a friend of mine.
00:02:12Oh, and I see you running your camera, dear.
00:02:15Oh, you're not going to use my name.
00:02:16No, darling.
00:02:17You're not going to use...
00:02:17I'll sue the fool.
00:02:29That's fucking real.
00:02:41Well, not for equal rights, just for extra.
00:02:46I want both bathrooms.
00:02:47Who's happy?
00:02:48Art and camera?
00:02:49Love it.
00:02:50I want a male bathroom and a female bathroom so I can rape your children.
00:02:54Take two.
00:02:54Parker.
00:02:55Question.
00:02:56I'm Sharon Needles, and people may know me as the winner of season four of RuPaul's Drag Race,
00:03:01or just America's biggest handful.
00:03:04All right.
00:03:05Rolling.
00:03:05All right.
00:03:07Jinx Monsoon, take one.
00:03:09Marker.
00:03:09We're rolling.
00:03:11Rolling, please.
00:03:13Rolling.
00:03:14Rolling.
00:03:14Tell me your name and how you are known, what people know you for.
00:03:22My name is Jinx Monsoon, and I'm most well known for winning season five of RuPaul's Drag Race.
00:03:33I mean, I've heard beautyality jokes on there, and...
00:03:37Right, they talk about, like, fucking anuses and, like, I don't know, fucking gay sex.
00:03:42Like, I don't know.
00:03:44The last question, because I'm sure we should tuck a little piece of hair.
00:03:50One piece of my hair is out of place.
00:03:52Burn all of the footage.
00:03:54I can't imagine.
00:03:58This is so funny to me because it's like, where is the line that it becomes, like, where is the
00:04:08line that my ridiculous nest of hair, one part of it becomes, oh, that's too much.
00:04:13We have to stop.
00:04:15It's like, I just fucking put frizzed out ridiculous hair on the top of smooth hair.
00:04:22Where is the line that it's like, that's too much, it's out of place.
00:04:26We found the line.
00:04:28It's that one little stick out.
00:04:35Am I looking at you or the camera?
00:04:37Okay.
00:04:38My name is Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, and I'm the queen of Earth.
00:04:46So audacious.
00:04:48No, I've been saying that, like, no, people know me.
00:04:51I'm a drag queen.
00:04:52I was on TV once.
00:04:58Oh, no shit.
00:05:00I'm sorry if I was disrespectful to you in any way before.
00:05:07That kind of, like, constantly irreverent thing does get old.
00:05:11Like, if you're just kind of a dickhead all the time, you know.
00:05:14No, no, I mean.
00:05:20I think I got it.
00:05:22Oh, that's a different color.
00:05:23Fuck.
00:05:24Can you tell me, is it totally uncomfortable if your knees are right on here?
00:05:27Oh, you want me to kneel?
00:05:28No.
00:05:29Just put your legs back over.
00:05:30Okay.
00:05:31Oh, I see.
00:05:32The image was too seductive.
00:05:33They're not even going to listen to what I'm saying.
00:05:35Barbara, we're looking good.
00:05:36We're good to go.
00:05:37Get the horse dart out and just shoot her in the neck.
00:05:40Is this a romance book jacket photograph?
00:05:43I'm trashy but thoughtful.
00:05:44Mmm.
00:05:45What about this?
00:05:47Yeah.
00:05:48I wonder where my wheelchair went.
00:05:50This'll do.
00:05:51I don't know.
00:05:51I've never done drag, though, because I'm a woman, biologically, from birth.
00:05:56Came out a woman, and still that.
00:05:59Sound like a man.
00:06:01What would you do if I pulled down my pants and had a beautifully manicured vagina?
00:06:14This is my hair.
00:06:18This is my hair.
00:06:22This is my hair.
00:06:26This is my hair.
00:06:28I don't wear wigs.
00:06:48Thank you guys so much, let's have an amazing show.
00:06:52Congratulations everyone, this is the largest show that you guys have ever done.
00:06:57No pressure, no pressure!
00:07:02This is the largest show you will ever do.
00:07:05I just want to thank everybody first and foremost, this is the largest show we've ever done.
00:07:09It is...
00:07:11And it warms my very black heart that it's right here in my home away from home, London Town!
00:07:18Please welcome to the stage the one and only Ms. Jinx Monsoon!
00:07:57Thank you!
00:07:59Should I stop? Should I go? Is the season in your heart as cold?
00:08:06As a kid I was very self-conscious about how big my lips were.
00:08:14My mom always said, one day you're going to be really happy that you have very big lips and you're
00:08:19going to make some girl very happy too.
00:08:20And that girl was me!
00:08:24When your love is red and green
00:08:29When your love is red and green
00:08:33Through your Santa Claus in your tree
00:08:36Do you ever even think of me?
00:08:41Some days I just don't know
00:08:45My menorah is the same
00:08:47But could never even hold a flame
00:08:51I don't think I ever thought that it was possible to be a world-famous drag queen at this level
00:08:56when I started it.
00:08:57Now there's many, many famous drag queens creating a lot of really great artwork.
00:09:03And a lot of them are my very good friends.
00:09:09My drag before going on Drag Race was intentionally half-baked.
00:09:17Because I wanted all of my focus to be on the performance.
00:09:26It was a messy, slapped-together kind of look.
00:09:30Rue just said to me, you know, you have so much to offer with your character.
00:09:34If you want to be this quirky, tacky, disheveled mess, you have to do it at a hundred percent.
00:09:48Even though I'm still very quirky and tacky, I think I'm as gorgeous as I've ever been nowadays.
00:09:56More gorgeous than I've ever been. The most gorgeous version of myself.
00:10:01Oh, darling, like you do, when your love is red and green.
00:10:33Is you true and you need a crossover?
00:10:44um generally when I'm getting ready like when I'm starting my makeup right now
00:10:50all I want to do is just not have to do it it takes so long I really like I
00:10:58love I love the
00:10:59final product and I love the way I look in the end I just hate the process doing this six
00:11:06nights a
00:11:06week covering yourself in makeup and painting yourself it just gets a little tedious other
00:11:12times when makeup artists have tried to do my makeup I'm really unsatisfied with it in the end
00:11:18because professional makeup artists who do like fashion editorial makeup and stuff when you ask
00:11:25them to do a drag queen's makeup I'd never think they'd put enough makeup on and there's some drag
00:11:30queens out there who can just wear a little bit of makeup and go for the more natural look but
00:11:34I
00:11:35really just don't like that on myself I like to look like a full transformation facial
00:11:41reconstruction has taken place let's say um let's say all these front um bright lights
00:11:49instead of 50% let's just cut these um we'll take yeah so we can walk on in this kind
00:11:56of dramatic
00:11:59yeah yeah so let's leave it like this until we get center stage so you kind of just bear
00:12:05see us in this light then when we hit center stage that's when you can um bring the lights
00:12:10up maybe to start them at 50 actually right there that's great just kind of dim because we sing
00:12:17a holy night and it's really somber
00:12:18oh holy night the stars are brightly shining drag queens they say whatever is on their mind and
00:12:29they don't give a shit if it's politically correct or if it um if it offends people you know we're
00:12:36kind
00:12:37of drag is a satire and a social commentary the character of jinx is supposed to be kind of boozy
00:12:46and alcoholic I like to make jokes like I'm drunk even if I'm not because then if something goes wrong
00:12:52well you can blame it on being drunk even if you aren't you know and then they they kind of
00:12:58expect
00:12:58that out of a drag queen normally a drag show is just in place to try to sell more booze
00:13:03so it's like
00:13:04kind of just expected that the drag queen's gonna be drunk so I kind of just give them what they
00:13:08want
00:13:09like when I started drag at age 15 lots of people acted like I was the most negative stereotype of
00:13:17the
00:13:17gay community and now thanks to there being a reality tv show all about drag drag queens are
00:13:22respected in a way that they really weren't when I started dragging
00:13:25oh
00:13:28now
00:13:29now
00:13:32now
00:13:33now
00:13:34oh
00:13:36now
00:13:38now
00:13:39now
00:13:40now
00:13:41now
00:13:45now
00:13:46now
00:13:49now
00:13:49now
00:13:52now
00:13:54I saw my first drag show at age 14 and I feel like it changed everything for me like it
00:14:00changed my whole world when I saw my first drag show
00:14:18this is
00:14:20a couple songs
00:14:23this is the one that's the one that was
00:14:24now
00:14:24not
00:14:24now
00:14:25now
00:14:26and
00:14:27now
00:14:27now
00:14:29and
00:14:30is
00:14:30now
00:14:31I'm
00:14:33No one as sorry as me
00:14:38We'll never get you
00:14:39I was not a normal boy
00:14:43But I also came out at a very early age
00:14:47I was way too feminine and way too expressive to hide it
00:14:55Because even when I thought I was trying really hard to hide it
00:14:58Everyone still saw a little femi gay boy
00:15:01So when I was like, well, if people are going to just assume that about me anyway
00:15:04Then I should stop worrying about playing this game
00:15:09It was trying for a lot of time
00:15:11And it was hard to go through the American public school system like that
00:15:16But the more that I just kind of realized
00:15:19You know, there's no hiding it with me
00:15:21And I'll be so much happier when I stop trying to hide it
00:15:24Or trying to be someone else
00:15:26The better my life got
00:15:28Yet someday you'll meet another gal who'll throw you away
00:15:32And she won't feel sorry
00:15:33Nearly as sorry as me
00:15:37Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my friends
00:15:40Oscar Wilde
00:15:43And teeth
00:15:44I mean, look at those teeth
00:15:51Jinx is very heavily based on my mom
00:15:53My mom doesn't like
00:15:55That
00:15:59I don't know about you
00:16:00But I would be very embarrassed to have fake teeth at such a young age
00:16:05I would, I would
00:16:06Oh shit
00:16:08Oh damn it
00:16:09I'm not trying to say my mom was a terrible mom
00:16:12She had plenty of great moments
00:16:14But she also caused a lot of problems for me in my teenage years
00:16:18My mom went through a phase of alcoholism
00:16:21And went through a phase of just being very selfish
00:16:24And my way of working through that frustration was to create a character out of it
00:16:28Mama can remember the words, I'm a professional
00:16:30The reason I'm able to be a positive person
00:16:34And able to keep my mind focused on, you know, improving the world
00:16:39Is because I get all of my anger out on stage
00:16:42That there are plenty of people out there
00:16:45Who do not adhere to one strict gender
00:16:48You know, there are people who are genderless
00:16:50There are people who be referred
00:16:52They prefer to be referred to as gender fluid
00:16:55They prefer to be referred to as gender non-binary
00:16:58They prefer not to be referred to at all
00:17:01Yeah
00:17:02For instance, I prefer not to be referred to
00:17:05Yeah, it's very awkward when we go to parties
00:17:07I have to say, have you met my friend?
00:17:12And we have to respect that
00:17:14We have to respect it
00:17:18I myself, I'm much more enlightened than most of you
00:17:26And for me, the best thing is when
00:17:29When I'm fully done with makeup and people
00:17:32It used to happen more before I was on TV
00:17:37But people would think that I was a real woman
00:17:40Trying to be a drag queen
00:17:41Like I was a real woman painted up
00:17:42And trying to impersonate a drag queen
00:17:45And I liked that
00:17:46Because it made me feel like I had fully transformed
00:17:48Into a character
00:17:49Where people really didn't know if I was a boy
00:17:51Just as a woman
00:17:52Or a woman dressed as a woman
00:18:04I cannot become any more masculine than I am now
00:18:09The older I get, the more I'm going to start looking like a man
00:18:12And that thought terrifies me
00:18:16My ability to shift between the genders
00:18:19Is the thing that's kept me from hating my body
00:18:25We have been conditioned for so long
00:18:29To believe that because of your genitalia
00:18:32It's natural for you to act this way or the other
00:18:34And to do anything outside of that is unnatural
00:18:38It used to drive me nuts
00:18:40Trying to feel confident and feel good
00:18:42About myself dressed as a boy
00:18:44Because ding dong, I'm not a boy
00:18:47You know, that's not my inner truth
00:18:51Coffee and wine
00:18:52To give life meaning
00:18:55I feel a responsibility
00:18:57Not just as a drag queen
00:18:59But as a gay celebrity
00:19:01You have to be awake
00:19:03If you want to be an artist
00:19:04And not just someone pushing booze
00:19:07I have a much younger audience fan base
00:19:11Than I ever expected
00:19:15There's got to be some substance
00:19:16And there's got to be something going on in this show
00:19:19So that that 14-year-old boy in the audience
00:19:22Who's seeing their first drag show
00:19:23I want to make sure there's something
00:19:25That they can take home with them
00:19:27That means something
00:19:29In the job of him
00:19:34In the job of him
00:19:38In the job of him
00:19:48In the job of him
00:19:58Oh, thank you
00:19:59Well, what happens is
00:20:02Is that when you're in drag
00:20:03You take your penis
00:20:05And your nuts
00:20:06And you squish them in your hands
00:20:08And then you pull them all the way back
00:20:09Between your legs
00:20:10And stuff them up in your butthole
00:20:11And then you put on
00:20:12Like a fucking roll of duct tape
00:20:14And five pairs of panties
00:20:16Which are seven sizes too small
00:20:17And then you sit around
00:20:19In six pairs of tights
00:20:20In high-heeled shoes
00:20:22Scrunching your toes
00:20:23And then you put a wig on your head
00:20:24Which is like a thousand degrees
00:20:26And it's on really tight
00:20:27And then you have a face
00:20:28That feels like you have a clay mask on
00:20:29And then
00:20:31When you're sitting around
00:20:33Not doing anything
00:20:34For several hours
00:20:35It starts to get annoying
00:20:36And painful
00:20:37And then
00:20:38You have a Tifa fit
00:20:39Hey, can we start this fucking show, please?
00:20:42I'm fucking over it
00:20:43Michelle, can you start the show?
00:20:45Can we start the fucking show?
00:20:47We've been fucking waiting around
00:20:48This is coming without the clock
00:20:50We haven't started the fucking show?
00:20:51All right
00:20:52Smart
00:20:52What the fuck?
00:20:53You didn't sell my T-shirt
00:20:55This is hilarious
00:20:58I didn't sign one single fucking headshot
00:21:05Sorry
00:21:06It's the corset
00:21:18We're like witches in more ways than one
00:21:21If you've ever seen the Angelica Houston movie
00:21:23Witches
00:21:24Where she's like
00:21:25You may remove your vigs
00:21:28And they all pull off their wigs
00:21:29And they have these horrible bald heads
00:21:31They kick off their shoes
00:21:32And they have these big block feet
00:21:35It's like
00:21:36That's about drag queens
00:21:37And I mean like
00:21:38Half the extras in that movie are men
00:21:40Dressed as women
00:21:41And I think
00:21:42Roald Dahl and his infinite wisdom
00:21:44Just knew
00:21:47What it's like to be a drag queen
00:21:48And wrote a book about it
00:21:49And called it The Witches
00:21:53As glamorous as this all looks
00:21:56It's fucking painful
00:21:58It's really painful
00:22:00To create the hyper western concept
00:22:04Of the perfect female form
00:22:06We are constantly suffering from fever
00:22:09Our bodies are constantly confined by spandex
00:22:13Which causes us to get very hot
00:22:14And to sweat a lot
00:22:15And then all the things we use
00:22:17To manipulate our bodies into the female form
00:22:19Is absorbing all of that
00:22:20So the most beautiful drag queen
00:22:22Just right underneath their crust
00:22:25Is nothing but disgust
00:22:30When I'm super busy in drag
00:22:32I don't shower with any regularity
00:22:34It's like pulling teeth
00:22:36To get me to take a shower
00:22:38When you're on the road
00:22:39And you're doing show after show
00:22:41After show after show
00:22:42You don't have washing machines
00:22:44To wash your tights
00:22:45So
00:22:46So it looks really lovely
00:22:48But like you're really glad
00:22:49This movie is going to smell a vision
00:22:51Because it's like
00:22:52Eventually start smelling like
00:22:53Gouda and corn chips
00:22:54Chicken for a few days
00:22:55And then it starts smelling like
00:22:57Something is wrong
00:22:59We smell like bile
00:23:00Like filth
00:23:01Like a mole person
00:23:02Like it could get somebody else ill
00:23:05We're disgusting
00:23:07I can't believe anyone fucks us
00:23:16Don't laugh
00:23:29You're a little컹
00:23:32You're a littleifik
00:23:33₂Y
00:23:34No
00:23:34No
00:23:35No
00:23:35No
00:23:35No
00:23:36No
00:23:36No
00:23:36No
00:23:36No
00:23:37No
00:23:42once upon a time science opened up the door you know i could put into a box of being um
00:23:52a horror
00:23:53queen or an elvira this is a stereotype that i personally am not offended by
00:24:06you know and i kind of you know no pun intended dug my own grave on that one
00:24:25when i was growing up and like going out
00:24:28i never did the gay thing
00:24:31you know i primarily was a feral gay rat raised by street punks
00:24:48the more gay culture has gotten you know more accepted gay is not as punk as it used to be
00:24:54so
00:24:54i just i want to create a punk cool underground drag queen
00:25:06oh my god
00:25:10can i get a father fucking hail satan out here
00:25:14i don't believe in god and i don't believe in the devil but i do believe in you and me
00:25:21day gigs should be illegal
00:25:24yeah this shit should be illegal we are designed for the night
00:25:28oh god
00:25:35thank you so much it's my halloween costumes feel free to try them on if you want
00:25:42thank you so much bye
00:25:44do you have ults
00:25:46for halloween never i'm the fucking queen of halloween
00:25:49well once elvira dies i'm looking at your toenails and i'm concerned
00:25:54you you should be
00:25:55is that from dancing
00:25:56uh this is just old black nail polish but
00:25:59our pantyhose constrict toes
00:26:01so much
00:26:03that they're full of calluses and corns and
00:26:06but what to wear is always difficult in a day gig
00:26:09why
00:26:10because i think costumes on drag queens during the day looks uh dirty
00:26:16it looks uh
00:26:19i mean it sounds oxymoronic but it sounds it looks too much
00:26:24in a spotlight you look like barbie and in a sunlight
00:26:29um you look like a birthday cake
00:26:35i did find a bag of cocaine in my um in my uh toothbrush bag though today
00:26:41which i found kind of shocking
00:26:43oops
00:26:45i don't know anything about that ossifer
00:26:49the fun about drag is that you can escape yourself in a million different people
00:26:54i'm every woman they're all in me
00:27:00oh j gigs
00:27:01it's just not right
00:27:26the great thing about pittsburgh is that they don't give a fuck who i am
00:27:30you know um right after drag race it was a sensation for maybe an hour
00:27:36why the fuck you all up this early
00:27:40this is torture
00:27:43after drag race i had the opportunity to move to los angeles like a lot of um my you know
00:27:48my
00:27:49rupaul's drag race sisters do or or new york or you know even get out of the country but um
00:27:54i look at pittsburgh the way john waters looks at baltimore
00:27:56because it's like an escape from all of this you know
00:28:00would you like some of my vodka
00:28:07i'm not lying go ahead have a little sip
00:28:10pittsburgh is just um an old industrial town where you can still smoke in the bars
00:28:14and i love that
00:28:15so i dropped out my uh freshman year
00:28:20and um well i didn't really drop out my my uh counselor brought in my parents and said it
00:28:26might be best if i left the school because my visuals were a distraction to the other students
00:28:32so i left high school then i came to pittsburgh
00:28:42you were just a group of misfit pittsburgh drag queens we became successful quite quickly because i think
00:28:49what we were doing on stage was reflecting who they were
00:28:53it's a rough sloppy rusted industrial town
00:28:56so i think they liked that we were rough and punk and more in your face
00:29:09you know we've never just a pretty dress and the lipstick you know there was always a political
00:29:14a transgressive or a hyper art side to what we were doing
00:29:21just because we're drag queens doesn't mean we all come from the same pasts and we're on the same path
00:29:25i didn't want to be rupaul i wanted to be divine you know i i was introduced to drag by
00:29:31it being
00:29:32something really bonkers and scary i call it visual terrorism 9-11 in high heels gay people are the
00:29:41one minority people don't really fear they can scare normal culture and that's fun and needed
00:29:56red wine before noon is gross
00:30:00not gross enough not to drink
00:30:05not a real drag queen unless you have no toes
00:30:09and they're spilling over ready to commit suicide
00:30:12it's called a suicide toe ready to jump
00:30:16how clockable is this lace today like right up on it yeah you can see it but
00:30:21okay it's a class a classic lace then yeah okay i don't wear costumes in a day gig
00:30:29a full face of makeup of course but i had the best night's sleep last night though
00:30:34you got in last night got in last night watched this documentary about
00:30:39child child sex offenders oh i bet you were 11 i was like oh why is this on a and
00:30:46e they're not
00:30:46describing enough
00:30:50now if i found a time machine and i had sex with my six-year-old self would that be
00:30:54illegal six-year-olds
00:30:56i wasn't even that cute at six
00:30:58yeah no definitely not like you you had only had half the procedures done by then
00:31:04individual you want to go to a hotel tonight
00:31:06um is it in this town
00:31:11no it's a downtown lm i have a 5 30 a.m and it's and it's chat
00:31:18i know i know i know i know
00:31:21caitlin jenner is going to be judging
00:31:22i'll be there my shoe is slowly filling up with blood
00:31:30oh day gigs
00:31:37this is corporal punishment
00:31:45can we get a golf cart
00:31:49or any sport cart
00:31:52a go-kart
00:31:54a big wheel
00:31:56if caitlin jenner was here we would have a golf cart
00:32:00i think it's the only thing she's legally allowed to drive nowadays
00:32:03sit on the outside
00:32:07this is like the flintstones
00:32:09i'm like the fucking steak in the flintstones girls
00:32:14oh my god how tall am i this way
00:32:18i'm the tallest person i've ever
00:32:19you get it
00:32:21yeah i think so
00:32:24i need that mic wet wet wet wet
00:32:27wet as can be
00:32:28yeah give me as much reverb as you can't
00:32:30reverb to the point of echo
00:32:31i don't want that though
00:32:33don't shut it off
00:32:40every time i get ready and i look in the mirror i always say i'm never going to look better
00:32:44than this and then one year from that i'll look back at that and i'll be like oh god what
00:32:48was she thinking and then think that is the current standard of perfection it's never going to get any better
00:32:53than that
00:32:54if i think i ever felt like there was no more growth in this art form then i would i'd
00:33:00probably quit
00:33:02i like it to just reflect the insanity that's going on up here then it also proves to be very
00:33:09therapeutic for me to perform it live because i think the stage is a great punching bag i mean it's
00:33:17more legal than killing people
00:33:29i don't have the most fans but i think i have the best fans people who are fans of sharing
00:33:35needles are usually introverted and damaged in some way and and i most definitely put that in in my music
00:33:42and in my songwriting
00:33:51happy halloween hail satan and as always kill your parents
00:33:59is anywhere for grandma to sit
00:34:05how have you been i haven't seen you in a while i know since 3 40
00:34:09yeah since 3 40. yeah
00:34:11did you guys enjoy the show sorry it was so short but you know that's festivals
00:34:15they throw you on they throw you off but the sound was really good
00:34:19yeah now i have to pack up real quick grab my all my halloween costumes for my tour
00:34:23just got sent in uh at the front desk and tonight i'm meeting one of my all-time biggest icons
00:34:29which one you'll never guess i probably guess caitlyn jenner oh my gosh say that again i love her caitlyn
00:34:37jenner caitlyn jenner oh where are you meeting her at one of my biggest icons that i really identify
00:34:43with you know they all love it at first and then just change their mind real quick
00:34:49i don't want to call her an idol because there's nothing about her that i want to be
00:34:53but uh she's certainly one of the biggest icons of our current time
00:34:57have you ever seen a transsexual be so hated on
00:34:59it proves that transgender people are just like us we can hate them
00:35:03times
00:35:05they are a changing happy halloween guys
00:35:07thank you so much
00:35:10tell all my baby tell all my babies hi
00:35:11i will i'm still looking for your ice pops but i think they're discontinued
00:35:14my what ice pops
00:35:16my fans know that i have an obsession with ice pops
00:35:20and cocaine
00:35:26it was their cool mean girl table and then me the princess and that i'm a cool year
00:35:33it was a lisa question like a wishy question
00:35:35i can rhyme from a gown
00:35:36do you think of me as a friend
00:35:37yes of course i think of you as one of my best friends actually
00:35:40good
00:35:40one of my best sisters
00:35:41good then we're on the same page
00:35:43i thought i wanted to fuck him but i know that that's just never a good idea with us
00:35:46because i don't i have a hard time maintaining an erection for people i respect
00:35:54yeah i mean i always say if i if i didn't use dating apps
00:35:58if i didn't use grinder i wouldn't meet anyone because
00:36:02literally when i'm on tour the schedule is
00:36:05get on the plane early in the morning
00:36:07get to the hotel
00:36:08maybe have a couple hours to nap or eat
00:36:12then immediately start getting into drag
00:36:14so i just i meet promoters and i meet like other drag queens and i meet go-go boys and
00:36:19stuff
00:36:20but i don't meet many real people who aren't in the business these days
00:36:24unless i use a dating app
00:36:26i realized it's very it is a lot trickier especially because gay i always forget about that
00:36:30it shrinks the population down
00:36:33if they know me do they only want to hang out with me because they're a fan
00:36:37sometimes i meet guys who don't know me and they just really don't get it
00:36:41i try to explain my career to them and they have zero idea what i'm talking about
00:36:46i'm starving for affection sharon
00:36:49nobody will fuck me
00:36:50that's not true
00:36:53that's not
00:36:53are you gonna fuck me bitch
00:36:56i don't think so
00:36:57violet was tweeting that she wants to
00:36:59for the for the fame
00:37:01is this bitch gonna spread her fat rolls all over my beautiful fucking body
00:37:04you leave that bakery alone bitch
00:37:06are you gonna fucking stuff my hungry mouth with your delicious asian rolls bitch
00:37:12nope
00:37:13leave her fucking stuff
00:37:14really actually no
00:37:15that's kind of what it is it's like
00:37:17all right that guy looks like he can test the challenge of my whims
00:37:20in changing and in like ridiculous expectations on every level
00:37:25that's gonna be a really special person
00:37:27who's gonna graduate from the university of my pussy summa cum laude
00:37:31and gonna donate to the alumni fund
00:37:34not a lot of people at this you know
00:37:35small unaccredited college in the mountains
00:37:39you gotta let nature take its course
00:37:41will you give me a kiss
00:37:44jiggles
00:37:45nope
00:37:47no
00:37:48kiss me
00:37:48no
00:37:49it's my gross ass
00:37:51that is rape
00:37:51no i'm saying kiss me
00:37:53rape
00:37:54no don't shout rape when you're not getting raped
00:37:57that's a lie
00:37:58kiss me
00:38:00kiss me you fucking fat bitch
00:38:01no i don't want to kiss kernels
00:38:03why
00:38:03cause i'm not a lesbian
00:38:06ew
00:38:07kiss me
00:38:07kiss me
00:38:08i'm not gonna turn around
00:38:10i'm gonna endanger this whole vehicle
00:38:11oh my god
00:38:12give her a sweet little sister peck on the lip
00:38:15are you not my fucking sister bitch
00:38:16okay
00:38:18thank you
00:38:18god
00:38:20now we'll do it on the lips next time
00:38:21when my dingling's out and hard
00:38:24you know it's
00:38:24good thing with that
00:38:25how the fuck are you doing my thing
00:38:30listen
00:38:30i'm a junkie
00:38:32and i'm not gonna apologize for it
00:38:33i'm also growing out my hair
00:38:35does it look nice
00:38:37thanks so much
00:38:38listen
00:38:38the holidays for me are all about
00:38:40you know
00:38:40good food
00:38:41great relationships
00:38:42and then um
00:38:43well
00:38:44trying not to fuck my dad
00:38:46and it's hard
00:38:46you know
00:38:47cause he's a really handsome guy
00:38:48but that's neither here nor there
00:38:49these days
00:38:50would you say that you're
00:38:52straight up just a comedian
00:38:54no
00:38:55no
00:38:55no
00:38:57i'm an auteur
00:38:58who moonlines has a romance novelist
00:39:00but just hasn't written any books yet
00:39:01listen
00:39:02something they never teach in school no more
00:39:04is that when dorothy went to oz
00:39:06she had to have sex with the tin man
00:39:08the scarecrow
00:39:09but the lion wouldn't fuck her
00:39:10cause he was gay
00:39:12did you know that
00:39:13wait are you 15 years old
00:39:15fuck
00:39:16i feel like i'm just uh
00:39:17jessica simpson
00:39:18with the heart of bill cosby
00:39:20and the legs of
00:39:20jackie joiner kersey
00:39:23that's not true
00:39:24i don't know what that
00:39:24i don't know
00:39:25i had a shot of
00:39:27vicodin
00:39:28wait what
00:39:29what the fuck is that
00:39:31i mean i don't know
00:39:32do you think i mean
00:39:32i mean i'm not a comedian
00:39:33what do comedians do
00:39:34they they have
00:39:35specials for one hour
00:39:36where they have
00:39:36they wear a boring outfit
00:39:37and with a microphone
00:39:39they say
00:39:39oh you guys
00:39:41when i fuck my wife's pussy
00:39:42it just goes split
00:39:43splatter splatter
00:39:44makes all these splashy noises
00:39:45and i don't know how to feel
00:39:47about that
00:39:47i mean that's every comedy special
00:39:49i've ever seen
00:39:49but you know
00:39:50i don't know
00:39:51i like making people laugh
00:39:53but sometimes i know
00:39:54i know
00:39:55it's not that i know
00:39:55that i'm funny
00:39:56and it's that what i'm saying
00:39:58is interesting
00:39:59and i know that
00:40:00even if i'm in a room
00:40:01i'm just in the wrong room
00:40:02but i know there's a right room
00:40:03happy new years to you
00:40:05they say new year
00:40:06new you
00:40:06and i have three
00:40:08new year's resolutions
00:40:09i want to find my dead cat
00:40:10and give it a proper burial
00:40:12i'm going to call up
00:40:13denise on the phone
00:40:14and say i'm sorry
00:40:15for calling her a cunt
00:40:16in front of her dead mom
00:40:17and i the last thing
00:40:18i gotta start flossing again
00:40:19but it's hard
00:40:21would you like
00:40:22satirist
00:40:23can we try
00:40:24no
00:40:25you're so hung up on labels
00:40:26why can't i just be a woman
00:40:27don't put me in a box
00:40:28you can put me in a shopping cover
00:40:29not a box
00:40:30that's comedy
00:40:33you guys should really think about
00:40:34not drinking so much
00:40:35good night
00:40:36which is which
00:40:37all right
00:40:38so i can actually not sing
00:40:39but i like to sing in characters
00:40:41good
00:40:41can we do like
00:40:42camp down races
00:40:43sing that song
00:40:43doodah
00:40:44no seriously
00:40:45yeah
00:40:45like old-timey
00:40:48yes
00:40:48okay
00:40:49am i playing this
00:40:50am i playing and we're singing
00:40:51is that what's happening
00:40:52i don't know
00:40:53we're gonna be eating sushi too
00:40:54amen to that
00:40:55did you um
00:40:56did you go to college
00:40:57for like performance or anything
00:40:59yeah performance art
00:41:00for real
00:41:01i used to be embarrassed about it
00:41:02and now i'm literally making
00:41:03thousands and thousands of dollars
00:41:05to do it
00:41:05so i'm not embarrassed anymore
00:41:07but it took a long time
00:41:08to be embarrassed about it
00:41:10what did you do
00:41:10did you do stuff like ART
00:41:11i did no no no
00:41:12i did stuff like this
00:41:13like it's like in the 90s beatniks
00:41:15i'm like
00:41:16huh
00:41:17huh
00:41:22that's it
00:41:22to like dentist drills
00:41:24like to dentist drills
00:41:25no actually
00:41:26we're digitizing footage
00:41:27from my like
00:41:28stuff i did in school
00:41:28and i was actually looking back
00:41:29and it's kind of cool
00:41:30yeah
00:41:31so i'm in the weird transition part
00:41:32where i'm famous for being a person
00:41:34and now wanting to be famous
00:41:35for being an artist
00:41:35what
00:41:36when you lose
00:41:37when you
00:41:37when hollywood makes you
00:41:38your grip snaps like a twig
00:41:41on real not real
00:41:42important and not important
00:41:43yeah
00:41:44no i got
00:41:45that scares me to death
00:41:47oh i'm just
00:41:48yeah
00:41:48no like
00:41:49you know
00:41:49the
00:41:50generally speaking
00:41:51well
00:41:52i feel like a lunatic
00:41:54sometimes
00:41:54but other times
00:41:55i feel bad
00:41:56i don't give a shit
00:41:56i feel like a lunatic
00:41:57and then i want to retreat
00:41:58and just maintain
00:42:00and i hate that
00:42:01it's insidious
00:42:02because guess what allows
00:42:03that kind of retreat money
00:42:05sure
00:42:05eccentric people are eccentric
00:42:07if you're homeless
00:42:08you're just crazy
00:42:09because they've never had to fight
00:42:09to do anything more
00:42:10if you're eccentric with no money
00:42:11that's crazy
00:42:12no
00:42:13crazy with no money
00:42:14is just crazy
00:42:15crazy with money is eccentric
00:42:16yeah that's it
00:42:16but you have to be able to
00:42:18you have to be functioning
00:42:19to be eccentric
00:42:19like you have to actually
00:42:20if you meet at seven
00:42:22you gotta show up at least by eight
00:42:23you know what i mean
00:42:24or otherwise you're just
00:42:25people cut you loose
00:42:28i have to be a clown
00:42:29or like a goofball goon
00:42:30because i just
00:42:30there's no other way to do it
00:42:31it's so grim
00:42:32look at me
00:42:33i am an insane person
00:42:35thank god this is happening
00:42:37because it legitimizes it
00:42:38jesus christ
00:42:39um but fucking a
00:42:41barbara i call you back
00:42:42it's yeah it's like nuts
00:42:45that's why i feel like
00:42:46oh whenever i feel like
00:42:47i wonder if this was
00:42:48what robin williams was like
00:42:49uh because he's so manic
00:42:50and crazy
00:42:51and probably probably cocaine addict
00:42:52he's like hanging it up
00:42:53and then boom
00:42:54hanged himself
00:42:56still like trying
00:42:57like getting over body shame stuff
00:42:58but it's society though
00:42:59why is it a crime to be naked
00:43:00it is a crime to be naked
00:43:01um well i think the vatican
00:43:03needs to pay because
00:43:04all of my body shame issues
00:43:05i've been able to like
00:43:06to trace back to your catholic roots
00:43:08yeah and like
00:43:09get to a level of objectivity
00:43:11that's kind of realistic
00:43:12you know it's never going to be
00:43:13totally objective
00:43:13it's just if it's me
00:43:14but i've been able to see the
00:43:15same pattern in lots of other people
00:43:16wow those people put me
00:43:17through the the the holy trinity
00:43:19is not father son holy ghost
00:43:21it's fear shame and guilt
00:43:22you know what i think my job
00:43:24um going forward as an artist
00:43:25is to incorporate
00:43:26some element of nudity
00:43:28in every single thing i do
00:43:29because it's going to take
00:43:30that much to make
00:43:31just a small dent
00:43:32because there's nothing
00:43:33legitimate there's nothing
00:43:34objectively wrong
00:43:35with me being
00:43:36permeating everything else
00:43:37here's the here's my twist
00:43:39i have to love my body
00:43:40because i hate my body
00:43:41if i didn't hate my body
00:43:43i'd be at zero
00:43:43but hate no
00:43:45hate is minus five
00:43:46love is plus five
00:43:47we're trying to get
00:43:47actually to zero
00:43:48zero yeah
00:43:49because my body is not
00:43:50going to be lovable forever
00:43:50my body sometimes
00:43:51my body if i don't shower
00:43:53three days from now
00:43:53will be disgusting
00:43:54and it'll smell like shit
00:43:55not a value judgment
00:43:56not a value judgment
00:43:58in catholicism they say
00:43:59your body is dirty
00:44:00you are worthless
00:44:02every time you are naked
00:44:03you are ashamed and afraid
00:44:05garden of Eden mama
00:44:06it starts in day one
00:44:07the knowledge of good evil
00:44:09equals being shamed
00:44:10of your body
00:44:12the first thing you're aware of
00:44:13is i'm naked
00:44:14and it's wrong
00:44:15that is fucked
00:44:39i want this card seat
00:44:43i want this card seat
00:44:45i forget
00:44:50i want to kind of move
00:44:51through this
00:44:52because we still have to
00:44:53learn another one today
00:44:54i'm going to mush my
00:44:54weenie into your body
00:44:55and it's going to be sexual
00:44:56it's easy but
00:44:59and also i mean i like the
00:45:00idea of it also breaking
00:45:01down from being too fast
00:45:02that's a comedic element
00:45:03right
00:45:03not being able to do it
00:45:04not being able to do it
00:45:05and i can yell at them
00:45:06ah left this time
00:45:07boom boom boom
00:45:09so you guys this starts
00:45:10immediately
00:45:12so be in your first
00:45:13positions
00:45:14okay first position
00:45:15first position you guys
00:45:17katya
00:45:18get in first position now
00:45:19now
00:45:21i've been
00:45:22i've fucking been in
00:45:23first position bitch
00:45:23i want you to be a nasty
00:45:25be a nasty woman
00:45:26a militant
00:45:27gleeful
00:45:28stagger
00:45:28fucking crack the whip
00:45:30uh dance instructor today
00:45:31just for fun
00:45:32just for an hour
00:45:32okay
00:45:32yeah
00:45:32okay
00:45:34that's hard for me
00:45:34i'm gonna have to work on that
00:45:35well let's explore your range
00:45:37okay
00:45:39all right
00:45:40lifting up motherfuckers
00:45:41here we go
00:45:43yes
00:45:45um
00:45:46or like how we can even do
00:45:48like a
00:45:51something like that
00:45:52sure
00:45:52it's easy
00:45:53any of it
00:45:54yeah
00:45:58that's good
00:45:59don't hurt yourself
00:45:59i'm not
00:46:00girl i know my truth
00:46:02i don't know
00:46:02it's so weird
00:46:03it's great to feel sexy
00:46:04but it's also so stupid
00:46:06i can't stand like the
00:46:08motivation monday
00:46:09i put in my hard work today
00:46:10at the gym
00:46:10i'm gonna get a sexy body
00:46:12i'm gonna share that to you
00:46:13on the internet
00:46:14oh
00:46:15i mean
00:46:16great
00:46:17i'm doing that right now
00:46:20oh you know what
00:46:20my drag is saying
00:46:21hey that's funny
00:46:22i know we're still gonna do it
00:46:23but we all get why that's funny
00:46:24right
00:46:26oh god
00:46:27these guys who are just like
00:46:29fit life
00:46:30insta fit
00:46:31like
00:46:32like
00:46:32hunk of the day
00:46:33i mean
00:46:33aspirational hunk of the day
00:46:35um
00:46:36gym life
00:46:37go to the gym
00:46:38hashtag
00:46:39gym world
00:46:41uh
00:46:41gym place
00:46:42you know
00:46:43hashtag like
00:46:44muscle place
00:46:45muscle fitness
00:46:45gym fitness
00:46:46fitness life
00:46:47fitness world
00:46:48muscle gym fitness world
00:46:49muscle gym fitness world planet
00:46:51how do they get all these hashtags
00:46:52if you look
00:46:53there's a
00:46:54there's a huge paragraph
00:46:55and you realize
00:46:56it's all to grab attention
00:46:57to say
00:46:58look at me
00:46:58i'm doing a good job
00:47:00i don't understand
00:47:01why they don't see
00:47:02it's the same picture
00:47:03every time
00:47:04like groundhog day
00:47:07ordinary people are
00:47:08fucking weird
00:47:09not bad
00:47:10but they are
00:47:11fucking weird
00:47:13it looks like
00:47:14it looks like a giant
00:47:15beefy
00:47:15oh god he's so sexy
00:47:18you just said
00:47:19you don't go for
00:47:19weho perfection yet
00:47:20you're
00:47:20you're drooling
00:47:22over
00:47:22that's
00:47:23that's
00:47:24that's
00:47:25that's
00:47:25weho 101 right there
00:47:26is it really
00:47:27the ass
00:47:28he's just a little two-step
00:47:31slave fatty
00:47:31come on
00:47:32we gotta
00:47:32do you guys know
00:47:33if there's any drag queens
00:47:34who are trump supporters
00:47:36yeah my friend
00:47:37abey vodka house
00:47:38from the original house
00:47:40of haunt voted for
00:47:40donald trump
00:47:41she's very proud of herself
00:47:42is that
00:47:42is that like a subversive
00:47:44kind of dig
00:47:44no she's bosnian
00:47:46so she's got her
00:47:47hillary clinton issues
00:47:49everybody's got their
00:47:49hillary clinton issues
00:47:50mama
00:47:50yeah
00:47:51but how did you guys feel
00:47:52the morning after the election
00:47:53oh god
00:47:55next thing you know
00:47:56they're gonna want to
00:47:57film the drag process
00:47:59yeah
00:47:59with close-ups of our feet
00:48:00do you want to see me
00:48:01getting in their drag
00:48:02it's fascinating
00:48:03you want to see
00:48:04the juxtaposition
00:48:05between beauty and ugly
00:48:07how about me
00:48:07in a sequins gown
00:48:08at the dump
00:48:13the subversion of it all
00:48:15your transgressive ideology
00:48:17can't host
00:48:19can't host
00:48:21how long have you been
00:48:23how long
00:48:24how long have you been
00:48:26dressing
00:48:26how long have you been
00:48:26dressing
00:48:27looking for other sissies
00:48:29who like to dress
00:48:31i keep all my
00:48:32i have a dolly parton wig
00:48:34champagne teddy
00:48:35i keep it in an oak
00:48:36hutch
00:48:41i keep all my teddies
00:48:43in an oak hutch
00:48:45mother always said
00:48:46too much for the hutch
00:48:49all right i'm going to work
00:48:51we're gonna get in trouble
00:48:51we didn't even get cigarettes
00:48:57my name is
00:48:57but you can call me
00:49:02barbara you
00:49:03fucking idiot
00:49:05hi
00:49:05so listen
00:49:06oh gosh
00:49:07we have so much
00:49:07to talk about
00:49:08but we have even more
00:49:09to do
00:49:10these are my dancers
00:49:13and if you'll notice
00:49:14if you have two
00:49:15working eyeballs
00:49:16in a good sense of smell
00:49:17they are indeed men
00:49:21hello governor
00:49:22if you've ever seen
00:49:24a developmentally
00:49:25disabled young woman
00:49:26just splashing around
00:49:27at a local watering hole
00:49:28feeling herself
00:49:29just spreading
00:49:31every limb of her body
00:49:33in just a convulsive
00:49:34fit of retardation
00:49:36that's me
00:49:381
00:49:382
00:49:393
00:49:40e
00:49:41the first day of christmas
00:49:44my true love gave to me
00:49:4510 pounds of rambioli
00:49:48on the second day of christmas
00:49:50my true love gave to me
00:49:522 bob rose paintings
00:49:53and 10 pounds of rambioli
00:49:54how am I doing?
00:49:55terribly
00:49:56I mean I'm a niche
00:49:57like people coming off the street
00:49:59were like
00:49:59let's do dinner and a show tonight
00:50:01Marty
00:50:01we're in atlantic city
00:50:02they came to my show
00:50:03I'd be like
00:50:03what is this
00:50:05I mean like literally
00:50:06what is it
00:50:06like your brain can't get
00:50:07to the next step
00:50:08in order to process
00:50:08whether it's good or bad
00:50:0910 pounds of rambioli
00:50:12on the sixth day of christmas
00:50:14my true love gave to me
00:50:166, 11, 15, and 5
00:50:18to the world
00:50:23I went
00:50:23I saw Sandra Bernhardt
00:50:25in a sheer dress
00:50:25and 8 months pregnant
00:50:26she was on HBO
00:50:27on the television
00:50:28I was on acid
00:50:28in the living room
00:50:29she was screaming
00:50:30singing about something
00:50:31and I was like
00:50:31what is this experience
00:50:32I'm seeing with like
00:50:33unlike any other thing
00:50:34I saw
00:50:35I was like
00:50:36that's what I want to do
00:50:38Jesus Christ
00:50:39I just want to
00:50:40fuck you all night long
00:50:41when I was younger
00:50:43going to these weird ass shows
00:50:45there was Cirque du Soleil
00:50:46obsessed
00:50:46then this Japanese
00:50:48buto dance troupe
00:50:49doesn't get any weirder than this
00:50:50when you're the parent
00:50:50of this wacko child
00:50:51by the way
00:50:55football never did it for me
00:50:56I don't get it
00:50:56I don't understand
00:50:57it makes me feel like an alien
00:51:00I want to give
00:51:00a small slice of that
00:51:01to like a weirdo wacko kid
00:51:11oh you know what though
00:51:12I actually had a very
00:51:13embarrassingly like
00:51:14heavy-handed
00:51:16metaphorical realization
00:51:17moment on stage
00:51:18where I was like
00:51:18oh I'm processing
00:51:19years of Catholic shame
00:51:23literally like
00:51:24said to myself
00:51:25out loud
00:51:25this is the only reason
00:51:27I am not killing myself
00:51:34thanks guys
00:51:48we're best friends
00:51:50because of
00:51:51Sharon Needles
00:51:51we met last year
00:51:53of October
00:51:5316 and 17
00:51:55at 340 in Pomona
00:51:56and we were best friends
00:51:57since like
00:51:58we traveled to San Fran
00:51:59together on a bus
00:52:00like no hotel
00:52:01like we went on a bus
00:52:02like together
00:52:03for Sharon
00:52:04as corny as it is
00:52:05Sharon is the reason
00:52:06why I'm alive today
00:52:07yeah same
00:52:07she changed my life
00:52:09knowing her
00:52:09and because of Sharon
00:52:10I've met so many friends
00:52:12because of Sharon
00:52:13yeah
00:52:13I had no friends
00:52:15yeah
00:52:15because of Sharon
00:52:16so yeah
00:52:18sorry
00:52:19I'm so sorry
00:52:22it's real
00:52:23like this is
00:52:23it's not fake
00:52:24we're not like
00:52:25those kind of
00:52:26yeah
00:52:33there you go
00:52:34there you go
00:52:36yes
00:52:50because this is so special
00:52:51for the children
00:52:52for all the young people
00:52:54who love each other
00:52:55on social media
00:52:56they get to meet
00:52:57their tribe
00:52:57right in person
00:52:59and that is
00:53:00everything
00:53:01here we go
00:53:01now
00:53:02let the drag queens begin
00:53:12I know how important
00:53:13it is to the fans
00:53:14to take pictures with them
00:53:16I know what that feels like
00:53:18to meet one of your idols
00:53:19like when I was a teenager
00:53:21meeting my favorite drag queens
00:53:24it was extremely important to me
00:53:26and that was just getting
00:53:27to meet them randomly
00:53:28it's not like I want to die
00:53:30or I have a death wish
00:53:30but like
00:53:31wouldn't that be amazing
00:53:32if I died in a plane crash
00:53:35well you guys would be sad
00:53:37but
00:53:39they would replay
00:53:40all my episodes on Logo
00:53:42for like
00:53:43it would be great
00:53:46but I'm glad to be alive
00:53:48and so let's do this song
00:53:50it's called
00:53:50well I'm always just like
00:53:52little kids
00:53:53if you're listening
00:53:54don't wish for fame
00:53:55just wish for fortune
00:53:57because fortune
00:53:58is like way easier
00:53:59fame is just
00:54:00it's really inconvenient
00:54:01I was flying on an airplane
00:54:05and that airplane
00:54:08almost went down
00:54:09down down down
00:54:11all the people
00:54:13started screaming
00:54:14ah
00:54:15but I smiled
00:54:16as I looked around
00:54:19and I was like
00:54:20and I was like
00:54:22oh my god
00:54:22oh my god
00:54:25yeah
00:54:27yeah
00:54:27yeah
00:54:31something about having to be
00:54:32Jinx and Jeric all at the same time
00:54:34and receiving all that energy
00:54:36while you're also trying to do
00:54:37this tricky dance
00:54:38of like
00:54:38when do I be Jinx
00:54:39like when do I
00:54:40make a cunty joke to someone
00:54:42and like make them laugh
00:54:43and when do I turn into Jeric
00:54:45and let them open up
00:54:46and share that moment
00:54:47tell me things you like
00:54:49about mummy darling
00:54:49I think you have a lovely face
00:54:51and a lovely dress
00:54:52that's me
00:54:53it's all fake
00:54:54the heart's real
00:54:55unfortunately
00:54:56it's a pig heart
00:55:00legendary
00:55:04you can't just walk
00:55:06across the floor
00:55:09at drag car
00:55:12I don't know
00:55:13I guess like
00:55:14it's like being Mickey Mouse
00:55:15at Disneyland
00:55:16and he's so busy
00:55:18taking pictures with people
00:55:19that he can't
00:55:20go on Space Mountain
00:55:31I mean I feel terrible
00:55:33complaining about my problems
00:55:35my life is so fucking
00:55:36lucky
00:55:37and I'm so fucking charmed
00:55:38and everything is fucking
00:55:40so easy really
00:55:42but all I can do
00:55:44is bitch and complain about it
00:55:45I hear myself
00:55:46I'm doing it now
00:55:47on camera
00:55:48it's a movie
00:55:49I'm in a movie
00:55:50and my scene
00:55:52is going to be me
00:55:52bitching about
00:55:53how difficult
00:55:54my glamorous
00:55:54ridiculously lucky
00:55:56life I is
00:56:17everyone I've interviewed
00:56:18over the last
00:56:19is saying the same thing
00:56:20you're exhausted
00:56:21yes
00:56:22it's true
00:56:31you are legendary
00:56:32already
00:56:45okay
00:56:47do we have that light
00:56:48can we turn that light on me
00:56:50thank you
00:56:53can someone grab my phone
00:56:55thank you
00:56:57okay I'm coming out
00:57:15yes please
00:57:38thank you
00:57:39I hope I win
00:57:41how are you
00:57:44how are you
00:57:47how are you
00:58:02uh
00:58:04to the dressing room
00:58:19New Year's Eve, 1979.
00:58:23A lonely military outpost is about to have its mind blown by an unexpected guest, a leggy
00:58:30bombshell from the planet Glamtron.
00:58:32Crash landing on Earth, the newly named Alaska Thunderfund is immediately captured by military
00:58:38men eager to exploit her body's out-of-this-world special powers.
00:58:43Read this exciting, uplifting adventure to discover the legend of Alaska.
00:58:50So yeah, just tell me when.
00:58:53Okay, my name's Lil' Pound Cake.
00:58:57I'm five years old, but my mom told me to say that I was two.
00:59:02I went 18 pounds.
00:59:05I'm three foot five.
00:59:09You're not my real daddy, and you never will be.
00:59:14Okay, great.
00:59:18My name's Lil' Pound Cake, and I'm a straight-up motherfuckin' dick pig.
00:59:24My name's Lil' Pound Cake, and I'm a straight-up motherfuckin' dick pig.
00:59:30Okay.
00:59:30Like, so it's like, but it's like this.
00:59:33So it's like, high, but also it's like, can I just hear, can you throw like.
00:59:38My name is Lil' Pound Cake, and I'm a straight-up.
00:59:41You put auto-tune on it, too.
00:59:42Yeah.
00:59:44I'm just riding dirty.
00:59:46That's hot.
00:59:47I'm just riding dirty.
00:59:49I'm just riding dirty.
00:59:52I'm just riding dirty.
00:59:54And the hands are going to be, um, are molded, so they're creating a mold.
01:00:00The whole thing's plush, but the hands will be molded, and it's going to be us thick in the finger.
01:00:04Uh, so.
01:00:06Like, like an American Girl doll.
01:00:08Yeah.
01:00:09Exactly.
01:00:10That should be, that should be the slogan.
01:00:11Like an American Girl doll.
01:00:12It is.
01:00:13Just like.
01:00:17Oh, should I show you stuff in my house?
01:00:20Okay.
01:00:21These, I just, I just got these.
01:00:24These were custom.
01:00:26So I, like, went in, I talked to them, I, like, I don't want a full wig, I just want
01:00:30the piece,
01:00:30and then the big thing that I can just pop on top.
01:00:34So they did them.
01:00:34They're very beautiful and very large.
01:00:38Um, this is my RuPaul statue.
01:00:42I bought it when they did the limited run of them, and I had to have one, so I bought
01:00:46it.
01:00:47So, um, it's, it's one of my prized possessions.
01:00:51This, I keep wigs on the, um, stove.
01:00:56Just, um, because they're big, and I don't, I don't really have anywhere else to put them.
01:01:01I'm thinking maybe this stove doesn't get turned on a whole lot.
01:01:04I don't, I do make tea, but that's on this one.
01:01:07But the rest, I mean, I don't know, yeah.
01:01:10I don't use the other ones.
01:01:12Uh, this is the spare room where I just put drag.
01:01:18This is what I'm going to wear tonight, though.
01:01:23Oh, it's, like, long and poofy at the bottom.
01:01:27I'm really excited.
01:01:30This is a fox.
01:01:32Oh, here, um, this is me on Christmas, and this is my dad.
01:01:37I look to be opening some sort of, um, Hot Wheels cars or something, which I loved.
01:01:50I knew I was different all along, like, as, as early as I had consciousness.
01:01:57I feel like my mom knew, but I think she also knew that we were, I mean, we were living
01:02:02in Erie, Pennsylvania, you know, in early 90s.
01:02:06So she was very, like, you need to, like, not play like a girl when you're out playing with your
01:02:12friends.
01:02:12Because I always wanted to be the girl character.
01:02:15I know it's shocking.
01:02:21I became, like, a drag queen, though, basically at the very end of college.
01:02:27And there was once that we did Pericles, which is a little-known Shakespeare play.
01:02:33This Russian director came, and he was, like, the resident director.
01:02:38And he was, like, you, you read this.
01:02:42At first I was reading, like, the male roles.
01:02:44He asked me to read The Madam of the Whorehouse.
01:02:49And he, and I, and I started reading him.
01:02:51He was, like, but not like this, like this.
01:02:54So I did it in a really high voice.
01:02:57And I got the role, and it was, like, it was pretty epic.
01:03:02By the end of the run, they were, like,
01:03:04Justin, you need to tone down your makeup because it's getting too grotesque and too dark.
01:03:10I had blacked out teeth, my lips drawn, wrinkles.
01:03:17That was the bite of the bug.
01:03:20Well, then I moved to L.A. to be an actor.
01:03:24Because I wanted to get out of Pennsylvania.
01:03:26I thought it was too small.
01:03:28I was getting called a fag on the street, and I didn't like that.
01:03:31And I was, like, I need to go to a big city, either New York or L.A.
01:03:34I don't care which one.
01:03:35My best friend happened to be living in Los Angeles.
01:03:38So that was it.
01:03:44Well, Alaska Thunderfuck was a being that beamed itself into my body.
01:03:49I remember when I first moved to L.A., and I knew what she was.
01:03:54She was a Glamazonian princess from the planet Glamtron who crash-landed on Earth
01:03:58and who needs to get enough Twitter followers to get her spaceship back up and running again.
01:04:02And so she saw billboards of beautiful women.
01:04:05I was like, that's what I'm supposed to look like to get through this world.
01:04:09She does that through her twisted vision of how she sees it.
01:04:15So, like, she thinks she looks like fucking Marilyn Monroe.
01:04:19Because she does.
01:04:21Sir?
01:04:21Gabe is coming.
01:04:22I think Corey's coming, too.
01:04:25Oh, Corey's going to be there, too.
01:04:26Okay, good.
01:04:27Should I call you after we play now?
01:04:30Um, well, probably, yeah, okay.
01:04:33But then it'll be a spoiler alert.
01:04:35No, of course, yes.
01:04:37All right, honey.
01:04:38Well, I love you.
01:04:40I love you, too.
01:04:41Um, bye.
01:04:43May the best woman win.
01:04:45I think that she thinks I'm not going to win.
01:04:47Because of how the fan, the fan interaction online has been in the last week.
01:04:53Because I had a horrible episode last week where I just looked like an asshole.
01:04:58And so, like, that's all my mom is seeing.
01:05:00So, I think she thinks I'm not going to win.
01:05:02So, I guess we'll see.
01:05:06Oh, yeah, I've been dreading it since we filmed it.
01:05:10We filmed it over a year ago.
01:05:12And I've been dreading that episode coming out.
01:05:15And what it was going to look like.
01:05:17And how people were going to respond to it.
01:05:22And, uh, the response hasn't been great.
01:05:28I get so many messages that are, like, no matter what everyone online says, I still love you.
01:05:35Which is, like, so what are people saying online?
01:05:38Like, is that bad?
01:05:50First time around, on season five, I didn't win.
01:05:54I came out of it very well.
01:05:56And this time it's, like, I did really well in the competition.
01:06:01But as a person, I just feel like I don't want to hang out with that person.
01:06:05That person needs to just chill the fuck out.
01:06:08I'm a rude girl.
01:06:10I'm a rude girl.
01:06:12A motherfucking rude girl.
01:06:14All right, all right.
01:06:15Who are you, girl?
01:06:17People think that I'm lying.
01:06:19But, like, when I was there, I was making decisions.
01:06:21We had to make really difficult decisions.
01:06:23I know in my heart that I didn't make any decisions like, oh, I want to fuck this person over
01:06:29so I can do better later.
01:06:31It was like, I just made the best decisions that I could.
01:06:35And I know that in my heart.
01:06:37But people say, like, oh, yeah, sure, girl.
01:06:40Because of how it played out on TV.
01:06:52I just have dreams about it all the time.
01:06:55It's, like, PTSD.
01:06:57And just, like, the psychic feeling of even a hundred.
01:07:02It's probably thousands of people who are trying to tell me that I'm a terrible person.
01:07:10Having that being told to you so much is, like, it's, and then you see it on TV and you're,
01:07:16like, well, yeah, I get, they're right.
01:07:20And so then it's, like, am I that?
01:07:22Am I that?
01:07:22Am I a bad person?
01:07:24Am I that person?
01:07:25And you start to believe that.
01:07:31Drag is definitely armor.
01:07:33I do get to, like, work out a lot of the issues that I have through the art and the
01:07:39character, which is great.
01:07:41But I do also think I need therapy over this process.
01:07:45Like, seriously.
01:07:47What's your, like, worst fear about it?
01:07:50Like, about tomorrow morning or late tonight?
01:07:55I mean, my worst fear about it is that it's going to ruin my reputation that I've worked really hard
01:08:05for and that it's going to make me, make people not want to work with me and not hire me
01:08:11and that I won't have a job anymore.
01:08:13That's my, that's worst case scenario.
01:08:17Because, like, this show is more than just a show to people.
01:08:20It's a religion and it's a way of life and it's a phenomenon and it's, like, the Bible.
01:08:25So if the Bible says that you're a bad person and you're a cunt and you suck and you're a
01:08:30liar, then so it is written.
01:08:33That's it.
01:08:34That's truth.
01:08:35So I hope that, um, I hope that doesn't happen.
01:08:40Hello.
01:08:42Hello.
01:08:43Woo!
01:08:44Woo!
01:08:44Woo!
01:08:45Woo!
01:08:45Woo!
01:08:45Woo!
01:08:46Woo!
01:08:47Woo!
01:08:48Hi.
01:08:50Um.
01:08:52How much longer do we have?
01:08:53We still have to lip sync for our lives.
01:08:55We all have to give our speeches.
01:08:56Like, it's a minute.
01:08:57You're giving our speeches now.
01:08:59Alaska.
01:09:00Every single week she's come and she has slain the competition.
01:09:03She understands how Snatch Game reports.
01:09:05Either you know it or you don't.
01:09:07Yep.
01:09:07And she got in.
01:09:09Copy it.
01:09:10Woo!
01:09:11You are the top three.
01:09:12Woo!
01:09:13Woo!
01:09:14Woo!
01:09:14Woo!
01:09:14Woo!
01:09:15My heart is popping.
01:09:17My heart is popping.
01:09:18My heart is coming here.
01:09:20Ladies.
01:09:22The time has come to crown our queen.
01:09:26Ah!
01:09:28The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.
01:09:32The next queen to be inducted into the Drag Race Hall of Fame is...
01:09:53Oh my god, I've never been so happy for you.
01:09:58I've never been so happy for you.
01:09:59I've been so happy for you.
01:10:00Did you already know?
01:10:03Uh...
01:10:03Maybe.
01:10:05Are you there?
01:10:09Are you there?
01:10:32I want you to take that money and invest it.
01:10:35You bet I am.
01:10:37All right.
01:10:37Don't go blowing it on everything.
01:10:39Well.
01:10:41I want you to invest it for your future, for retirement.
01:10:45I will.
01:10:45That's a very good idea.
01:10:46I will definitely do that.
01:10:48Just don't blow it on popsicles and...
01:10:52Right.
01:10:53Just candy and...
01:10:55Just candy and...
01:10:56You knew this, though, didn't you?
01:10:59Well, I don't know.
01:11:00Maybe.
01:11:01It's one of the great mysteries of the world.
01:11:03Who knows?
01:11:04Oh, okay.
01:11:05Someday you'll tell me.
01:11:06Yeah, I'll tell you when you're 90.
01:11:08On my dying bed.
01:11:10No, I'll tell you when you're 90.
01:11:12Hello?
01:11:14Justin, did you know he was?
01:11:19Maybe a little.
01:11:20It was so awesome.
01:11:23Yay.
01:11:24I'm so happy for you.
01:11:25I'm so happy.
01:11:32I guess it's like, I mean, that's really exciting for them.
01:11:36I, you know, I knew, and I knew that, like, it was going to be whatever it was going to
01:11:41be.
01:11:41But, like, they didn't get to have that.
01:11:44They didn't get to have that moment on season five.
01:11:48You know, they didn't get to have that, and they do now.
01:11:53And I'm sure they're just so fucking happy about it.
01:11:58That's great.
01:12:01Ugh.
01:12:28Going into reality TV.
01:12:30No matter who you were before, you're putting it in someone else's hands.
01:12:36I'm owning the evil queen persona that has been thrust upon me.
01:12:40Because what else can you do?
01:12:43I'm finding power in it.
01:12:47The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.
01:12:51The next queen to be in...
01:12:54You have to take the worst stuff that happens to you and make art out of it.
01:12:59Or it will kill you.
01:13:02Alaska!
01:13:15The worst things at that time was, Alaska, you're nothing but a snake.
01:13:22You're not who I thought you were.
01:13:24You're just a snake.
01:13:26And now, I saw shirts where it's me surrounded by snakes.
01:13:31And I'm sitting in front of a thing that has snakes all over it.
01:13:33Now the snake is my spirit animal.
01:13:35It's the only way to survive.
01:13:37You have to take the horrible things and make it into art.
01:13:39Make it fun.
01:13:40And love it.
01:13:41Cause I'm a real girl.
01:13:45I'm a real girl.
01:13:48I'm a fucking real girl.
01:13:52You're my home and you're my people.
01:13:55And I am your queen.
01:14:00I'm a real girl.
01:14:02I'm a real girl.
01:14:03I'm a real girl.
01:14:07And I just want to all start to go.
01:14:28Have you always been a big, fat, awful person?
01:14:31No.
01:14:35Brand loyalty.
01:14:36Cause I just think, especially now, especially with Kim Kardashian, it's just too surface,
01:14:42man.
01:14:42It's like, they don't give a fuck, like the little commenters on YouTube, some of those
01:14:47kids don't even listen to a fucking word.
01:14:49It's like they watch it without the sound, with the sound off.
01:14:51They're like, oh my God, they look so good.
01:14:53I don't understand what she's wearing though.
01:14:54Or like, whatever.
01:14:55It's all I see is just surface shit.
01:14:58I swear.
01:14:59Maybe I'm just being way too harsh in the critical or just bitter and old or something.
01:15:03But yeah, it's just, I don't, the kids are just so obsessed.
01:15:06They don't know how to talk to her.
01:15:07All they know how to do is put eyeliner on.
01:15:11Okay, so you're going there for Christmas?
01:15:14Right before.
01:15:14And then I do a show there and then leave on Christmas Eve.
01:15:19Where are you going for Christmas?
01:15:22All my family is going to my brother's in Washington State.
01:15:25Are you like a part of that?
01:15:27No.
01:15:28Alaska, what are you doing for Christmas?
01:15:29My mom was like, I don't want anyone to talk about politics.
01:15:34No, let's talk about it.
01:15:35So out of respect, I'm like, okay, well, I'm not going to.
01:15:37But it's also like, members of my family are like personally affronting my existence.
01:15:44And I don't feel comfortable not talking about that.
01:15:47It's like, I don't want to fucking see you.
01:15:50I don't want to fucking see your fucking face.
01:15:53Did you go for Thanksgiving?
01:15:55I did.
01:15:55And no one came to my mom's house.
01:15:59Oh my gosh, look who it is.
01:16:02Fucking Donald Trump.
01:16:05And he's mad he didn't get what he wanted for Christmas.
01:16:08Oh man, what the?
01:16:10Uh, uh, uh.
01:16:12Girl, why you complaining?
01:16:13You're not in India starving.
01:16:15It's not like you don't have nothing.
01:16:17You're so damn sport that's alarming.
01:16:18You got some parents, I love you.
01:16:20I love you so much again.
01:16:21You got a brother, I love you.
01:16:22You get what you get.
01:16:25You so full.
01:16:26Christmas rock.
01:16:27Christmas rock.
01:16:32Christmas rock.
01:16:34Christmas rock.
01:16:35Look, I just got a pair of tubes off.
01:16:39Christmas rock.
01:16:40Christmas rock.
01:16:42Wanna bet me?
01:16:43I'll bet you a million bucks.
01:16:45Thank you, mom and dad.
01:16:47I can't really be sad.
01:16:48Cause I guess Christmas really isn't that bad.
01:16:54Well, before the election and just being a transgressive, you know, asshole that I am,
01:16:59I would say in the press and I would say a lot like, you know, let Trump win.
01:17:03Let's return to fags being punk and like being against the system because, you know, we had eight years of
01:17:09Obama and our fan base tends to be a little younger.
01:17:13So our fans basically grew up with drag race and Obama.
01:17:18So I was kind of like, Oh God, bring, bring, bring Trump in, remind, remind, remind these kids, you know,
01:17:23just how, um, how quick things can change and how a new normal can sprout up overnight.
01:17:27And, well, I take it all back now.
01:17:31Oops.
01:17:32As the Trump administration changed how I feel about my job, um, a little, but not as much as, um,
01:17:39how Orlando has changed how I feel about my job.
01:17:42I found out about the pulse tragedy on the battle of the seasons tour on the tour bus.
01:17:49And, uh, we had to go straight to Minneapolis and do a show that night.
01:17:55God, everyone was so freaked out that day too.
01:17:57It was really weird.
01:17:58And, um, Michelle sang, uh, take a bow by Madonna every night.
01:18:03And she's like, we all come on stage with me.
01:18:04And we were just a mess.
01:18:06It was a messy ass show.
01:18:07But that was the only show my mom came to see.
01:18:09So it was really nice.
01:18:10You know?
01:18:13Oh, I'm so sorry.
01:18:14I don't think I ever got that sad about Orlando for a while.
01:18:20I forgot about that day too.
01:18:21It was so crazy.
01:18:23It was so crazy.
01:18:24I ate meat.
01:18:26You ate meat.
01:18:27Yeah, I just didn't give a fuck.
01:18:28I went to Jimmy Johnson and had a BLT.
01:18:30It was so good.
01:18:31And you're a pita, well, you're a well-known vegetarian.
01:18:35Who cares?
01:18:36That pig was really mean.
01:18:38She's a little bit.
01:23:23Wave over to Estela exchanging care.
01:23:23Philip Beор this jeweilher is holding a mirror up to this society that we live in and
01:23:28say, look at that!
01:23:30Isn't that fucking something?
01:23:32Let's laugh at it.
01:23:34Let's celebrate it, but also take the fucking piss out of it.
01:23:37Let's regurgitate it and interpret it and make it ours.
01:23:41Make it human.
01:23:43Make it fucking real.
01:23:52You

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