- 15 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:23Just play along.
00:00:25Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Six, five, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58If you want me to stop, tell me now.
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03I don't want you to stop.
00:01:07I don't want you to stop.
00:01:12I don't want you to stop.
00:01:35I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:52Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how.
00:01:57Just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:05Maximus, can't you get married already?
00:02:08Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:11I need grandkids.
00:02:13I need you to...
00:02:13Message received, Mom.
00:02:15I need to go now.
00:02:16I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:26Seven years.
00:02:28Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:30And why do you still haunt me?
00:02:39Still thinking about that girl?
00:02:41Boss, it's been years.
00:02:46I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:48Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:53She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:54Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:56And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:58We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:02Good.
00:03:03Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:08Hi.
00:03:09One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:11And one hot chocolate.
00:03:13I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:16Now Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:22Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:24It's just for Christmas.
00:03:26But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:28Where's my real one?
00:03:37I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:39Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:49Daddy!
00:03:50Oh!
00:03:50What?
00:03:58Daddy!
00:03:59Oh!
00:04:00I'm sorry.
00:04:02I'm not your dad.
00:04:03No, I know you're my daddy.
00:04:05Just as handsome as I got.
00:04:07Oh.
00:04:08Mommy, hurry!
00:04:09Your fake Christmas husband has arrived!
00:04:18I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:21He's gorgeous.
00:04:23Ah!
00:04:28Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:32She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:33Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:35You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:38So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:40See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:43Hi, my name's Piper.
00:04:44What's your name?
00:04:45Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:48Max.
00:04:49Aurelius.
00:04:50Eva.
00:04:51I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:55I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:58I guess mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:05:02So, per hour agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:07$1,000 an hour?
00:05:09Well, yeah.
00:05:11It's $500 a day.
00:05:13Is that enough?
00:05:14That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:16Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:17That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:20You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:22Look, my requirements are simple.
00:05:24Okay, play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:27and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:29And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:31so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:36So she's getting pressure from her folks, too.
00:05:39Fine.
00:05:40But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:44Okay, deal.
00:05:48Ready to go get married?
00:06:03Wow.
00:06:05Clean up nice.
00:06:06This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:08Pictures!
00:06:17Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:40Oh!
00:06:42Okay.
00:06:43Well, I think we got it.
00:06:45Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:48To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:53Of course.
00:07:03Happy holidays, Mom.
00:07:06From my family to you.
00:07:15Bad news, boss.
00:07:17The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:21Wait, she bailed?
00:07:22And who is...
00:07:26Who is she?
00:07:28Whatever.
00:07:29It doesn't matter.
00:07:31I've got what I need.
00:07:35Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:36I already found someone.
00:07:42Okay.
00:07:43Well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:46Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:48Christmas shopping?
00:07:49I should come.
00:07:51Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan, I think I
00:07:55should
00:07:55have some say in the gifts.
00:07:57It would make it more believable.
00:08:02Fine.
00:08:02Yeah, fine.
00:08:03Okay.
00:08:04You can come.
00:08:12Let's go.
00:08:13Which mall are we going to?
00:08:15Let's go to that one.
00:08:16Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:22Oh, what the actual fuck?
00:08:29Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:34Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:40She does kind of look like him.
00:08:45So, when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:51Here, let me get this.
00:08:53I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:56Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice
00:09:06in front of them.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:09Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:11No, no, definitely not.
00:09:12And absolutely no...
00:09:14Sex?
00:09:15Yes.
00:09:16This is strictly business.
00:09:19Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
00:09:22What?
00:09:23Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:26I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:32Let's go.
00:09:39Here.
00:09:40What are you doing?
00:09:42I've never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:45Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:52Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5550% off pies?
00:09:56Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5812 pumpkin pies.
00:10:00Did I hear this right?
00:10:00They're the best kind.
00:10:02Hurry up and go.
00:10:03Go.
00:10:03What are you standing here for?
00:10:06Hello there.
00:10:07Hi.
00:10:08You ready?
00:10:08Yes.
00:10:08Yeah.
00:10:09Just these things.
00:10:09Okay, great.
00:10:11We have a holiday special today.
00:10:13Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the
00:10:18deal.
00:10:18Oh, great.
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:22Will you get a move on?
00:10:24I just got here.
00:10:26Relax.
00:10:27Yeah, yeah.
00:10:30Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:32Okay, thank you.
00:10:35Hurry up and pay.
00:10:39I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:41You can wait your turn.
00:10:47Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:55Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:56Not the pies.
00:10:56Not the pies.
00:10:57You can just set those on top.
00:11:03Hi, guys.
00:11:05I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:11Of course.
00:11:13Thank you so much.
00:11:14Of course.
00:11:14I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:17She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:18Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:20Just to give it away.
00:11:23Merry Christmas.
00:11:24Merry Christmas.
00:11:30What?
00:11:31Do you do that often?
00:11:33As often as I can.
00:11:38We should go.
00:11:39We got to pick up paper.
00:11:43Pit, watch out.
00:12:03You done feeling me up?
00:12:06Shut up.
00:12:07Oh, sorry.
00:12:08I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:10Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:17And don't be late.
00:12:18And don't be late.
00:12:29Harrison Group?
00:12:31Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:34Sort of.
00:12:35Not that I'm judging.
00:12:36I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:41Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:45I think that's respectable.
00:12:47Can we pick another company?
00:12:49No.
00:12:50Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:52And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:53My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:55So, it's perfect.
00:13:00Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner.
00:13:04Don't worry.
00:13:05Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:06I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:10Too much.
00:13:31Let's go, Sam.
00:13:32It's time to check out the new HQ set.
00:13:35Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:40It's my daughter's.
00:13:42Daughter's?
00:13:43Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:14:01Hey, there they are!
00:14:03Hey!
00:14:04Nice to meet you!
00:14:06Dad.
00:14:07Aren't you native?
00:14:08Oh, I missed you.
00:14:10So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:14He's coming.
00:14:16Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:18Good, good, good.
00:14:20So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:24When's he arriving?
00:14:25Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:30Poor thing.
00:14:31Not surprising.
00:14:32I mean, she's 30.
00:14:33Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:36Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:43This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:46Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:51We're only worried about you.
00:14:54All these years without a husband.
00:14:56Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:58You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:15:01And look what happened.
00:15:02She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:06I'm not alone.
00:15:08Mm-hmm.
00:15:08And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:14He's a manager.
00:15:16Manager?
00:15:16Manager of what?
00:15:18Trash.
00:15:20Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:24You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:29Actually, he's right here.
00:15:33Oh, wow.
00:15:36Wow.
00:15:37He is really good looking.
00:15:40Ah, must be AI.
00:15:42Mm-hmm.
00:15:43Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:46Fake.
00:15:46That's enough.
00:15:47She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:50Show some respect.
00:15:51Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:57him down?
00:15:58Well, guess what?
00:15:59William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:16:02Makes 500 grand a year.
00:16:05That's half a million.
00:16:07Half a million.
00:16:09Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:12And speak of the devil.
00:16:17Willie, you've made it.
00:16:30There you are.
00:16:32Oh, look at you now.
00:16:34Living the dream.
00:16:36Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:37Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal
00:16:42waste manager.
00:16:44So married, huh?
00:16:45Is it serious?
00:16:48That's what marriage is.
00:16:49It's pretty serious.
00:16:51Wow.
00:16:52You must have rushed to tie the knot, huh?
00:16:55Makes sense, though.
00:16:56You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:59Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:17:01Ah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:17:04Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:08That's right.
00:17:09Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:13Women love a man in red.
00:17:16Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:18When I sit on my lap.
00:17:20Don't touch me.
00:17:21Oh, so entitled.
00:17:24Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:28And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:32I mean, look at that car.
00:17:34Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:38Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:41Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:46I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:53My mom would never marry.
00:17:55She already has a husband.
00:17:56He's going to kick your butt.
00:18:02Is that so?
00:18:03Well, then, where is he?
00:18:05Because I don't see him.
00:18:07Does anyone see him?
00:18:11Oh, just like I thought.
00:18:14Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:16That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:19And let me show you what happens, not a children.
00:18:25Hey.
00:18:25Mommy.
00:18:26Hey.
00:18:27Are you okay?
00:18:28I see your hands.
00:18:29Oh, my God.
00:18:30I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:32Come on, now.
00:18:33Let's go.
00:18:35What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:38How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:42Let me go.
00:18:43Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:48Let me go.
00:19:03Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:11Max, you came.
00:19:13Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:16Where's Piper?
00:19:18William Hitter.
00:19:20Mom, Dad, I'd take her inside.
00:19:22Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:24Well, well, well.
00:19:26If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:30That's right.
00:19:32I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:35Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:38It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:39I'm Max.
00:19:40Eva told us all about you.
00:19:42From New York.
00:19:43Polite.
00:19:44Handsome.
00:19:45Just like she said.
00:19:47Wow.
00:19:48He was an AI.
00:19:50See?
00:19:51He's real.
00:19:52And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:55Son of a bitch.
00:19:57You just ruined my suit.
00:19:58And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:59That pristine automobile.
00:20:02That car.
00:20:04Oh, my God.
00:20:05That's worth more than a house.
00:20:07That car.
00:20:08It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:13Wait.
00:20:15Are you?
00:20:19Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:23And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:25I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:27You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:29You stole it.
00:20:30That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:32Jesus.
00:20:33How did he get away with it?
00:20:35That's what I want to know.
00:20:37Enough, please.
00:20:40I trust my daughter.
00:20:42She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:45Max, be honest with me.
00:20:47Where did that car come from?
00:20:50How much did you want for it?
00:20:52I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:56Sir?
00:20:57You need a breath, man.
00:21:01All right, that's it.
00:21:01I'm calling the cops.
00:21:02Oh, way ahead of you.
00:21:04Wait.
00:21:05Why?
00:21:06Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:10Oh, well.
00:21:11Too late.
00:21:18Listen, hon.
00:21:19I believe you.
00:21:20But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:25Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:26It's my car.
00:21:27Okay?
00:21:27It's not stolen.
00:21:29Yeah?
00:21:29If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:32Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:35Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:37Okay.
00:21:37I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:39But then you have to get lost.
00:21:41And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:43Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:46Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison, loser.
00:21:49Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:54Jesus.
00:21:55Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:57It's kind of sexy, though.
00:22:00Here.
00:22:02Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:13Mr. Harrison?
00:22:16Mr. Harrison?
00:22:19Mr. Harrison?
00:22:21Just play alone.
00:22:23Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:25Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:29Yes, sir.
00:22:30I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:32Please, sir, my serious apologies.
00:22:45Oh, that William, what a jerk, huh?
00:22:48He fooled me.
00:22:49What can I say?
00:22:51Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:55Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:56Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:58We were just looking out for you.
00:23:00Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:23:02You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:23:04Soon.
00:23:05Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:09A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:14We are family, aren't we?
00:23:15Family takes care of each other.
00:23:18If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:23Happy Gail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:26Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:29Yeah, I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:33My daughter is just far too busy for your best life.
00:23:37My new son-in-law.
00:23:39Come on, guys, let's go in.
00:23:40Welcome to the family.
00:23:45Welcome.
00:23:45Come on.
00:23:46Come on.
00:23:50This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:52You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:56My fault.
00:23:57You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:24:00Oh.
00:24:09Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:11And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:14And how do you...
00:24:14I told you.
00:24:15I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:17I have a friend in high places.
00:24:19A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:24Yes.
00:24:25It's the season of giving.
00:24:27He knows people.
00:24:28Has connections.
00:24:30He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:32You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:33I know.
00:24:34And you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:36Oh, my God.
00:24:37Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:40Dad!
00:24:40Mom!
00:24:42Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:45Oh, honey.
00:24:45We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:52I think they get it, hon.
00:24:55Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:57Oh, she's fine.
00:24:58One of you guys just get settled in and we will go check on her.
00:25:02And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:07Great.
00:25:07See you in a bit, shall we?
00:25:10What are you doing?
00:25:13Okay.
00:25:15Hey, was that not a, uh, breach of contract?
00:25:20Relax.
00:25:21It was just a hug.
00:25:23Ugh.
00:25:25We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:28You'll be okay.
00:25:29It's just one week.
00:25:30Kill me now.
00:25:31Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:38What are you doing?
00:25:41That's weird.
00:25:42They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:45I don't know.
00:25:45Something just falls off.
00:25:47That's ridiculous.
00:25:49I mean, what do you want me to do?
00:25:51Make out progress to prove it?
00:25:53I don't like this.
00:25:55Later.
00:25:58Let's go.
00:26:03Here we go.
00:26:05Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:07Everything looks amazing, and happy holidays.
00:26:10To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:13Oh.
00:26:14Welcome.
00:26:15Cheers.
00:26:16Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:17Looks great.
00:26:19Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:20I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:25But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:29Mmm.
00:26:30Oh, no.
00:26:30Mom's testing him.
00:26:32She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:33You mean to tell me you two are married, and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:40Ow.
00:26:41Ow.
00:26:41Eva, sweetie.
00:26:43Kicking my foot.
00:26:44Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:46Oh, jeez.
00:26:48What's she doing?
00:26:49It's okay.
00:26:50Look, mom, of course he knows it.
00:26:51And I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:59Um.
00:27:06Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:08Did I hear this right?
00:27:09They're the best kind.
00:27:11Well, of course, it's pumpkin pie.
00:27:14See?
00:27:15Are you happy now?
00:27:17That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:20Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:22We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:28But our marriage is real.
00:27:30I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:34Uh-huh.
00:27:35Now those are quality.
00:27:38Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:41Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:44Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:48I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:51Well, um, it's...
00:27:54Silly face.
00:27:55Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:57Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:28:00Silly face.
00:28:02I am not paying extra for this.
00:28:04Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:07It's losers.
00:28:08It's nice.
00:28:10You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:13Well, believe it or not, Ms. Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:16And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:19I'll drink to that.
00:28:21I agree with you there.
00:28:22So, come on, guys.
00:28:24Let's eat.
00:28:25Come on.
00:28:37And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:40I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:43Nice and festive for you.
00:28:45No complications, right?
00:28:47Sorry, honey.
00:28:48Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:49I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:51Oh, honey.
00:28:52Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:56Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:58The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:59Something about water conservation.
00:29:02That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:29:0415 minutes?
00:29:06Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:07Just shower together.
00:29:10Shower together?
00:29:11Shower together?
00:29:14Okay, you guys.
00:29:16Have a good night, okay?
00:29:22You heard her.
00:29:44Why are you stripping?
00:29:47Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:50Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:51You have 15 minutes.
00:29:52Nice try.
00:29:53I am not showering with you.
00:29:55All right, suit yourself.
00:29:56More room for me in there.
00:29:58Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:16Come on, Max.
00:30:18Get out of the way.
00:30:19We agreed, nothing physical.
00:30:21You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:23Relax.
00:30:24I won't touch you, unless you say you want me to.
00:30:30But that'll cost extra.
00:30:32Yeah.
00:30:40In your dreams.
00:30:43Free to join me.
00:31:04You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:07You wish.
00:31:09Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:11Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:13It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:16Oh, yeah?
00:31:17True.
00:31:29Holy shit.
00:31:34This is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:38I'll say.
00:31:40What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:43Still think you can resist?
00:31:46Baby.
00:31:47I don't think I want to.
00:31:53Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:57Or maybe we should.
00:31:59God, he's such a good kisser.
00:32:02Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:10Wow.
00:32:12You're so sexy.
00:32:21Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:24What?
00:32:24I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:26It's not you, Max.
00:32:27It's us.
00:32:28It's this.
00:32:29This is all an act.
00:32:30Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:33You're right.
00:32:35I'm sorry.
00:32:37I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:39Just...
00:32:47That birthmark.
00:32:52What is that?
00:32:55It's him.
00:32:56The man from New Year's.
00:32:57Is he...
00:32:58Piper's father?
00:33:02Why are you acting?
00:33:06Oh, my God.
00:33:07Max is Piper's father.
00:33:10Are you okay?
00:33:11Yeah.
00:33:13I just, um...
00:33:14I just got lightheaded.
00:33:15I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:18Alone.
00:33:20Of course.
00:33:23We have a daughter together.
00:33:26Oh, my God.
00:33:27What do I do?
00:33:34I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:36You can take the bed.
00:33:38Thanks.
00:33:40Hey.
00:33:42Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:44Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:46I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:48So if there's something you need,
00:33:49I can help.
00:33:51I want to help.
00:33:53He's Piper's father.
00:33:54He has a right to know.
00:33:56Um, Max?
00:33:59How would you feel
00:34:01if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:06A child?
00:34:08No, no, no.
00:34:09That's impossible.
00:34:10I'm very careful.
00:34:13Mostly.
00:34:15I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:18Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:20and I don't want any loose ends,
00:34:23you know?
00:34:24Right.
00:34:26He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:28I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:31Why do you ask?
00:34:33No reason.
00:34:34Just curious.
00:34:36No, I feel like you're
00:34:37going somewhere with this.
00:34:39What?
00:34:41No.
00:34:42Well, then,
00:34:43can I ask you a question?
00:34:45Shoot.
00:34:51Where did you get these?
00:34:52And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:55I did not get those.
00:34:57I don't know where those came from.
00:34:59Are you sure you're just not trying to
00:35:01break the contract?
00:35:04Come here.
00:35:07Woo!
00:35:19Elan,
00:35:19the truth is,
00:35:21is that I...
00:35:24Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:27Just a second.
00:35:28Come in.
00:35:30Hey, hon.
00:35:31Oh!
00:35:32Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:34but Piper is asking for a bedtime story
00:35:37before I tuck her in.
00:35:38Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:39We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:42I can see that.
00:35:44Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:45I mean, if you don't mind.
00:35:48Well, atta boy.
00:35:49You know what?
00:35:50Just put a shirt on.
00:35:51I'm going to go get her.
00:35:53Piper!
00:35:54Here comes Grandpa!
00:35:57He sprang to his sleigh,
00:35:59to his team gave a whistle,
00:36:01and away they all flew,
00:36:03like the down of a thistle.
00:36:04But I heard him exclaim,
00:36:06as he drove out of sight,
00:36:09Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:11and to all,
00:36:12a good night.
00:36:16If Piper knew he was her real dad,
00:36:18she'd be over the moon.
00:36:20Good night, Piper.
00:36:22Good night, Piper.
00:36:25Is her dad still around?
00:36:27Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:29because you're her dad.
00:36:31Uh, no.
00:36:32That man has no idea
00:36:34what a treasure
00:36:37he's missing out on.
00:36:41Do you really think so?
00:36:43From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:45Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:47He deserves to know.
00:36:54Max.
00:36:58You're Piper's father.
00:37:07I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:33Where's Piper?
00:37:35She must have snuck off
00:37:36while we were asleep.
00:37:53God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:03Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:05Not on my watch.
00:38:11Yeah, this.
00:38:13I remember this.
00:38:24Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:27How was your stay
00:38:28at Chateau Smith?
00:38:30Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:32It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:33Wonderful.
00:38:34Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:38Oh, no.
00:38:39What is that?
00:38:40Sardines and saltines.
00:38:42It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:44It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:46during wartime.
00:38:47Don't be shy.
00:38:48Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:51Max, you don't have to.
00:38:52No, no.
00:38:53It's okay.
00:38:53It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:56Oh, there we go.
00:39:03There we go.
00:39:06Yeah.
00:39:14Good?
00:39:16Good?
00:39:17Good?
00:39:18It's scrunchy.
00:39:20well you two better get dressed you gotta go see aunt miranda
00:39:25could i um could i have some water please that means there's no escaping aunt miranda
00:39:30and her brood this year what's the deal with them every year aunt miranda bullies piper and i
00:39:36says piper's a fatherless brat and i'm hey don't worry i'll protect you and piper
00:39:46better have sam on standby tonight just in case well looks like it's time to get dressed up then
00:40:04wait that earring wait that earring you like it i was so bummed when i lost the matching one years
00:40:13ago did you lose it seven years ago i don't really remember the details but luckily i was
00:40:20able to find a new pair right and it's just a common earring anyone can have it maybe i'm
00:40:26reading too much into it she can't be the woman from seven years ago
00:40:32so ava and piper still aren't here but derrick said that ava got married
00:40:39what kind of man could she possibly have landed an aging single mom slim pickings i heard he's in
00:40:48waste management that explains it she's probably too embarrassed to show up oh please miranda
00:40:55no ava is your niece oh come on grandpa everyone knows eva had a kid with a random one night
00:41:02stand
00:41:03her track record speaks for itself exactly not like my sierra married to a legal advisor for harrison group
00:41:12oh they're here merry christmas everybody
00:41:20merry christmas everybody
00:41:22merry christmas
00:41:25you must be grandpa harold i am i'm eva's husband max pleasure to meet you welcome
00:41:31you're eva's husband but you're gorgeous
00:41:37but as handsome as you look at you two you look like you just stepped out of a movie
00:41:42merry christmas grandpa
00:41:46this is from max and i oh my goodness thank you eva let me grab that for you daddy
00:41:52oops oh my bad oh a homemade gift how thrifty not all gifts are about the price tag mommy's
00:42:01right you mean all high you little you will not lay a hand on my daughter or you will lose
00:42:09yours oh i think you broke my wrist look what you just did to my mother my husband is harrison
00:42:17group's top legal advisor he could ruin your life
00:42:32are you okay i'm fine i'm just wet huh yeah it's okay it's okay
00:42:40what are you
00:42:43don't you dare disrespect my husband did you just slap me next time it'll be a closed fist
00:42:49you're a fucking psycho you know what sierra i can take your little insults but leave my
00:42:54family out of this
00:42:57her family she needs me
00:43:04you okay honey do i look okay to you dumbass do something you don't know who you're messing
00:43:11with i've got the full weight of the harrison group behind me oh wow i'm sure the ceo would
00:43:16love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people like you'd have any idea
00:43:22how a ceo thinks let's call him i'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side please
00:43:28who
00:43:28do you think you are enough there will be no arguing during christmas fine dad let it go
00:43:38nathan they're just jealous for grandpa's sake i'll let you off easy i think you owe nathan
00:43:47a thank you i think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you do you want
00:43:52me to
00:43:52get the other cheek all right that's enough everyone come inside and sit down
00:44:17is this a joke can you please pass me some food hold it who said you could eat anything else
00:44:24my husband and i paid for this feast
00:44:30my husband and i paid for this feast
00:44:33king crab fresh from alaska and grass-fed wagyu
00:44:38three times the price fifty times the flavor and you don't get a single bite
00:44:44it's just petty
00:44:46maybe so but gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders fine then we won't stay and eat with
00:44:54you come on let's go no no don't you dare leave our family dinner grandpa i'm sorry but they're
00:45:02treating us like i know dear i just want to have our family together fine we'll let the strays sit
00:45:09and eat with us you're a stray than a bitch what was that
00:45:13what was that
00:45:29i just want to have our family together
00:45:32i just want to have our family that will be a particularly memorable christmas present
00:45:36no strays
00:45:38al
00:45:38please are you okay
00:45:40yes please
00:45:41you hit my child
00:45:43you're fucking crazy
00:45:44well if you'd teach her some manners maybe i wouldn't have to
00:45:51don't worry baby i'll handle it
00:45:56don't worry baby i'll handle it
00:46:01piper
00:46:03sweetie are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life
00:46:09okay sweetheart give me two minutes and one phone call
00:46:12as if you have a chef on speed dial
00:46:15actually i do he's such a liar this ought to be hilarious
00:46:20oh it will be
00:46:25sam yeah send the troops and bring that king crab from antarctica
00:46:30i'm already on my way
00:46:35bring that king crab from antarctica i'm already on my way
00:46:40you hear this guy he wants the best king crab in the world
00:46:44from antarctica
00:46:45now i get why you married him eva
00:46:49his silly delusions are just adorable
00:46:51x what are you doing
00:46:54don't worry about it sweetheart
00:46:55santa's already on his way
00:46:56actually
00:46:57five
00:46:59four
00:47:00three
00:47:01two
00:47:02one
00:47:06a helicopter
00:47:14there's no way
00:47:20how did you pull this off sam is like family i thought i'd introduce you to thanks boss
00:47:27boss he was always been genuine with me maybe it's time she knew who i really am eva i think
00:47:33it's time you actually know the truth i'm maximus harris
00:47:40You're the CEO of Harrison Krupp?
00:47:43Mm-hmm.
00:47:46Come on.
00:47:48You can stop kidding around.
00:47:50If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:54No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:56Come on.
00:47:56You can stop the charade, okay?
00:47:58This is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:48:01Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:04Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab,
00:48:07as you requested.
00:48:18How is this possible?
00:48:19This loser brings Antarctic king crab
00:48:23and has his own personal chef?
00:48:26Who are you?
00:48:27I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:30That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:33Wait, no, hold on.
00:48:36You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:40You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:44Some of the small ones.
00:48:45I mean, you know that.
00:48:47You work for me.
00:48:48Oh, God.
00:48:50I insulted my own boss.
00:48:52I'm finished.
00:48:57Oh, God.
00:48:59I insulted my own boss.
00:49:01I'm finished.
00:49:02Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:04Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:07Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:08For tonight, your feast ends.
00:49:11And with that, your career.
00:49:14You're fired.
00:49:15Fired?
00:49:16Sam.
00:49:21Fired?
00:49:21Oh, God.
00:49:22I can't be fired.
00:49:25What?
00:49:26Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:28You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:30Please, Mr. Harrison, I'll do anything.
00:49:32Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:40And you.
00:49:41Oh, me?
00:49:43Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:45That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:46A family tradition.
00:49:48Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:51Sam.
00:49:56Will you do me the honors?
00:49:58Gladly.
00:50:03Merry Christmas, Aunt Lauren.
00:50:07Father, do something.
00:50:09Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:12I'm leaving.
00:50:13Mmm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:21Come on, sweetie.
00:50:22Daddy had the scrapped line just for you.
00:50:25Eat as much as you want.
00:50:26Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:30I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:32I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:35Honestly?
00:50:36This is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:39Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:40Just like this.
00:50:42Does he really mean that?
00:50:44Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:46I can't tell.
00:50:47And that terrifies me.
00:50:53Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:50:55I brought you a gift.
00:50:56Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:59Oh.
00:51:04Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:07Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:10Tell me everything.
00:51:12Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal,
00:51:14didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:17Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:21A high school dropout?
00:51:23In the Harrison family?
00:51:26Not a chance.
00:51:30She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:34Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:35Silence!
00:51:35You know what?
00:51:35Get me the address where she works.
00:51:38It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:39That's nice.
00:51:41We own that one.
00:51:43Good work.
00:51:44But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:56Thanks.
00:51:57So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:03Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:05And how about you?
00:52:09Me?
00:52:11Yeah.
00:52:12Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:18Eva.
00:52:29That birthmark.
00:52:30Family to me is a big commitment.
00:52:33And I don't want any loose ends.
00:52:36You know?
00:52:37Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:39So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:43No feelings, no complications.
00:52:44That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:46Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:48Max.
00:52:49Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:52Well, it's cold.
00:52:54Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:58Max.
00:53:00I need to tell you something.
00:53:04Something important.
00:53:05What's gotten into her?
00:53:07Is she hiding something?
00:53:09Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:12I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:14No.
00:53:18Piper is...
00:53:21Piper is...
00:53:21Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:25Sweetie.
00:53:25Oh my gosh.
00:53:26I'm swollen.
00:53:27Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:30Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:31Mommy's gonna go get a first date kit, okay?
00:53:35Come on, Piper.
00:53:38Mom.
00:53:39Okay, let me see.
00:53:43I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:48But that's not true.
00:53:49You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:53Uh...
00:53:54Daddy!
00:53:54No!
00:53:56Well...
00:53:59Well...
00:54:02Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:07Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:11Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:12Really?
00:54:13Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:14Daddy?
00:54:18You think it was Scar?
00:54:21Hmm.
00:54:24I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:25Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:27I have one, too.
00:54:29Dad.
00:54:31I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:33Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:36Really?
00:54:36No way.
00:54:38No.
00:54:38It was actually a cactus.
00:54:40But it's still cool.
00:54:43I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:49Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:51My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:59And how old are you?
00:55:00Six.
00:55:01Six?
00:55:02That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:05Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:07Evar, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:11What do I even say?
00:55:13And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:15Sorry, honey.
00:55:16This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:21Um...
00:55:21Yeah.
00:55:23Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:26Eva.
00:55:30Okay, look.
00:55:34Piper is...
00:55:40Go on.
00:55:47That must be an emergency.
00:55:50Excuse me.
00:55:51Sorry.
00:55:52Take this.
00:55:59Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:01Yeah.
00:56:03Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:06I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:10Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:13I'm telling you, Max.
00:56:15That woman is manipulating you.
00:56:17She's a high school dropout.
00:56:19Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:21And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:23I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:25Max.
00:56:25That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:34I'm sorry.
00:56:35I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:35You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:37Your mother would take her away.
00:56:39After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:43Eva?
00:56:44Maximus?
00:56:45Are you even listening to me?
00:56:48No, Mom, Mom.
00:56:48Listen.
00:56:49I'm sorry.
00:56:50Okay?
00:56:50Eva's my wife.
00:56:51And I've made up my mind.
00:56:52I'm not leaving her.
00:56:55Eva?
00:57:02I'm sorry.
00:57:06I'm sorry.
00:57:07I want your mother to eat up, but I'm sorry.
00:57:07This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:13Oh, wow.
00:57:15That's so cool.
00:57:16Did you make me?
00:57:17Uh, Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:20Aw, thank you so much.
00:57:23Thanks, everybody.
00:57:24Glad you're here.
00:57:27Oh!
00:57:29Damn, these are nice!
00:57:31Grandpa, language, little ears.
00:57:38Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:41It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:43Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:43Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:45Ready, ready?
00:57:46Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:57:48What do we got, guys?
00:57:49Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:57:55You never told me.
00:57:59Have we met before?
00:58:04Have we met before?
00:58:07She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:12I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:15Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:26I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:28Lots of people have birthmarks. They're very common.
00:58:30I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:33No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:37Maybe.
00:58:40Are you okay?
00:58:44Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:58:46No.
00:58:48I'm fine.
00:58:51Um...
00:58:51Oh, I almost forgot.
00:58:55I got you this.
00:58:57You got me a gift, too?
00:58:59Tis the season.
00:59:00Open it.
00:59:14Gloves.
00:59:15Did you make these?
00:59:17Yeah.
00:59:18I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:22You've already done so much for me.
00:59:24I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:28How did I feel?
00:59:30Warm, right?
00:59:31Yeah.
00:59:33Warm.
00:59:35Soft.
00:59:38Perfect.
00:59:42Thank you, Eva.
00:59:44I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
00:59:48Really?
00:59:50Yeah, my mom.
00:59:51She partied all the time.
00:59:53And...
00:59:53I got gifts.
00:59:55Plenty of them, but...
00:59:56Um...
00:59:57I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:01Nothing...
01:00:01Personal.
01:00:03Well, you deserve it.
01:00:05You're a good guy.
01:00:07And...
01:00:08Someday you'll...
01:00:09Find someone special to...
01:00:12Spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:14What if that day's today?
01:00:19What if I already found someone special?
01:00:23Right here.
01:00:49Max...
01:00:49Max...
01:00:49We can't...
01:00:51If you want me to stop...
01:00:53You better tell me right now.
01:00:59Come on.
01:01:00I don't want you to stop.
01:01:01I'm not in trouble, but.
01:01:02Thatggak closeness...
01:01:07No matter how many years pass...
01:01:09I still can't resist him.
01:01:15.
01:01:15You're down I don't want you.
01:01:26.
01:01:34Oh God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:41Piper!
01:01:50Piper?
01:01:52She can't see us.
01:01:58Piper!
01:02:10Eva?
01:02:15Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:29That was way too close
01:02:31Yeah
01:02:32We would have gotten on the naughty list
01:02:37Sometimes it's fun to be naughty
01:02:42Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:47You still haven't given me mine
01:02:53Let me give it to you
01:03:31Who is calling me to serve me?
01:03:37Hello?
01:03:38Hello Eva Smith
01:03:39I'm Max's mother
01:03:41Name your price
01:03:42What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:03:46What?
01:03:46We both know my son is way out of your league
01:03:50Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us and go
01:03:54My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child
01:03:58Piper is my daughter
01:03:59And no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up
01:04:03So you keep your money and I'll leave on my own
01:04:05But I am not handing Piper over to you
01:04:10Well there's my beautiful wife
01:04:16You okay?
01:04:21Look we made it through Christmas
01:04:24So I think it's best we go our separate ways
01:04:28What are you talking about?
01:04:30It's over
01:04:31It's not that hard to understand
01:04:36Eva wait
01:04:40So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:47Well Max, it's not real
01:04:50None of it was real
01:04:52So this is just a goodbye?
01:04:55Didn't realize I was so disposable for you
01:04:58Look
01:05:00Last night
01:05:03I let my guard down
01:05:04But I'm a mother and my choices affect Piper
01:05:07And being with you can mess up everything between us
01:05:10Just tell me what you need
01:05:13I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:05:15A good father
01:05:17Just say the word
01:05:24You don't get it
01:05:26You don't get it
01:05:33I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York
01:05:41I won't give up on us
01:05:57I won't give up on us
01:05:58Are we here?
01:05:59Yes
01:06:01As much as I don't want us to be
01:06:03We're back
01:06:07Piper, sweetie wake up
01:06:09We're home
01:06:14How can she just walk away?
01:06:23Don't forget you have to meet my mom
01:06:25It's part of the agreement too
01:06:27Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:31You promised
01:06:32Eve I haven't asked you for much
01:06:34Can you do this for me please?
01:06:38All right, fine
01:06:39When?
01:06:41Two days
01:06:43I'll come pick you up
01:06:44No need
01:06:45Just send me the address and I'll meet you there
01:06:52I know you and mommy thought
01:06:55But she still really likes you
01:06:57So don't give up, okay daddy?
01:07:00Thank you, sweetie
01:07:01If there's one thing you should know about your daddy
01:07:04I always fight for the ones I love
01:07:19If you find a church in the band
01:07:20And a church in the side
01:07:21And it's a church
01:07:22Step 10 times
01:07:26Eva's meeting my mother today
01:07:27Time to finally tell her the truth
01:07:30Boss?
01:07:32Boss?
01:07:36Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry
01:07:39I need to go win back my family
01:07:41Family?
01:07:42Boss, are you okay?
01:07:44Never better
01:07:47Go get her, Max
01:07:51Give it your best smile
01:07:53Ah, there he is
01:07:56Maximus, darling
01:07:58I have some prospects for you
01:08:00Nice high society girls from the city
01:08:06Oh
01:08:08I told you, I already found the woman I love
01:08:17Maximus, stop this
01:08:18That Eva woman is scamming you, son
01:08:22Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another
01:08:26You are heir to the Harrison dynasty
01:08:29No, I'm not
01:08:32Oh?
01:08:32I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss
01:08:37I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father
01:08:42What?
01:08:55Oh, that's her
01:08:57The woman who got my son head over heels
01:09:02Hi, welcome in, can I help you find something?
01:09:05I want to try those
01:09:10Awesome, I'll get them for you right away
01:09:13Are you sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:19No, no, no
01:09:20I know what I want
01:09:22Size 7
01:09:24Oh, baby can't even walk but she wants $3,000 heels
01:09:28Come on, she wants the white shoes
01:09:36Ignore her, she's just grumpy over the holidays
01:09:38Here, let me help you
01:09:40Come on
01:09:45She seems kind
01:09:51I shouldn't be that impressed, she's just doing her job
01:09:56How do they feel?
01:09:57Well, I love the style
01:10:00But it's too small
01:10:01I think I need a size up
01:10:04Maybe my feet are still growing
01:10:08Right away, I'll be right back
01:10:11She's not only kind, she's patient
01:10:13Was I wrong about her?
01:10:30Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:34Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:36She can't walk
01:10:39That's just pure evil
01:10:43Oh, come on, St. Eva
01:10:46She's in a wheelchair
01:10:48Who cares? It's the last pair
01:10:50I get paid commission
01:10:57I'm not doing that, Vanessa
01:11:00See?
01:11:02This is your whole problem
01:11:05This is why you'll always be broke
01:11:09I don't care if she can walk or not
01:11:12I'm not selling her junk
01:11:14She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:17People who insult her all day?
01:11:19Me?
01:11:20I'm your manager
01:11:25Sell the old bitty the shoes
01:11:28Or you're fired
01:11:34Did I stutter?
01:11:39You don't have to fire me
01:11:43I quit
01:11:49I don't work here anymore
01:11:53Listen, don't buy the shoes
01:11:55They're broken
01:11:56Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:58You're a good person after all
01:12:01Looks like I misjudged you
01:12:04I'm sorry?
01:12:07Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:09Get out!
01:12:16You're not disabled?
01:12:17Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:22Absolutely shameful
01:12:23Who are you?
01:12:25I am the chairwoman
01:12:27Of the Harrison Group
01:12:29And the owner of this store
01:12:32You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:34Mother of the CEO?
01:12:36I am
01:12:37And you, my dear
01:12:38Are fired
01:12:40What did I do?
01:12:44You are a good person
01:12:47From now on
01:12:48This store is yours to run
01:12:54Are you serious?
01:12:56That's right
01:12:57Don't be nervous, child
01:13:00You are professional
01:13:03Responsible
01:13:03Far better than that 2-bit manager
01:13:09You
01:13:10Out!
01:13:12I'll leave
01:13:15I'm leaving
01:13:19I...
01:13:19I feel like I'm dreaming
01:13:22No, don't worry
01:13:24Baby
01:13:24You're getting a promotion
01:13:27You deserve it, my dear
01:13:30Thank you
01:13:31First assignment
01:13:33I want that row
01:13:35And that row
01:13:36And the entire display case
01:13:39Pack it all up
01:13:41And bring it to my house
01:13:43Okay, yeah
01:13:46Once we're home
01:13:47I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law
01:13:50I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:13:59She's the mother of a CEO
01:14:01Of course she lives like this
01:14:12Ahem
01:14:13Mrs. Harrison?
01:14:14I'm here with your delivery
01:14:18Max?
01:14:19Eva?
01:14:21What are you doing here?
01:14:23I, uh...
01:14:24There you are, Eva!
01:14:27Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:30My new daughter-in-law
01:14:33What are you...
01:14:37That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group
01:14:42Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:44Stop!
01:14:46And you...
01:14:47You lied to me at the store
01:14:49Y...
01:14:50You were both just testing me?
01:14:52Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:54I'm sorry, Eva
01:14:55I thought you might be using my son
01:14:57Just after his money
01:14:59But I was wrong
01:15:01Eva, please...
01:15:01I don't deserve to be treated like this
01:15:04Not every working class girl is after your money
01:15:07How could you think that of me?
01:15:09It's not like that, dear
01:15:11Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:13Mom!
01:15:14What did you do?
01:15:15I-I was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:15:18We're not together
01:15:20And I can't love something that was never real
01:15:26I made a horrible mistake
01:15:30What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:31Go after her!
01:15:36Eva...
01:15:36Let me go!
01:15:37I swear it's not what you think
01:15:39But we come from two completely different worlds
01:15:41Stop pretending like you care
01:15:42I'm not pretending
01:15:44Okay, I can't fake what we have
01:15:46And everything I've done for you
01:15:47And Piper
01:15:48This is real
01:15:54Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got
01:15:58Max, you came
01:15:59God, you are driving me fucking insane
01:16:03I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:16:06A good father
01:16:07Just say the word
01:16:12See?
01:16:14Stop fighting
01:16:17We belong together
01:16:20You're wrong
01:16:21Wrong about what?
01:16:23That you care?
01:16:25Or we belong together
01:16:26Look, I already told you
01:16:28We're from two completely different worlds
01:16:30Now I held up my end of the deal
01:16:32And I met your mother
01:16:33Like we discussed
01:16:35I want a fake divorce from my fake husband
01:16:40Eva!
01:16:43Eva!
01:16:46I'm sorry, Maximus
01:16:47Walking away is the only choice I have
01:16:56Yeah
01:16:58Are you okay, mommy?
01:17:00Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine
01:17:02Come here
01:17:10No, you're not fine
01:17:12You're sad
01:17:15I'm okay, sweetie
01:17:18Mommy
01:17:19I miss daddy, too
01:17:23I want Max to be my real daddy
01:17:28Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:32Lovebug
01:17:33You're right
01:17:35What am I doing? Running like a coward?
01:17:39I've always taught you to be brave
01:17:42Now it's time for mommy to be brave, too
01:17:45I believe in you
01:17:46What are you gonna do, mommy?
01:17:49I know exactly what to say to him
01:17:54Maximus deserves to know
01:17:55Piper is his daughter
01:18:03Enough sulking
01:18:04Go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:18:08Don't you think I want to?
01:18:10She doesn't want me
01:18:12I didn't raise you to give up
01:18:14Your daughter is still out there
01:18:16You can't abandon her
01:18:17Mom, you don't get it
01:18:19I made a deal with Eva to play my wife
01:18:22And Piper, she was an added bonus
01:18:26What are you talking about?
01:18:28I already ran a DNA test
01:18:31Piper is your daughter
01:18:34What?
01:18:35See for yourself
01:18:41I was right
01:18:43Seven years ago
01:18:44New years, that woman was Eva
01:18:57Eva?
01:18:59Hey
01:19:01Daddy!
01:19:03Daddy!
01:19:04Piper!
01:19:06Oh
01:19:08I missed you so much, sweetheart
01:19:15You came back
01:19:19I, uh...
01:19:22Don't forget to be brave, mommy
01:19:30Mommy
01:19:30I, uh...
01:19:32I was scared
01:19:33But I don't want to be scared anymore
01:19:36Because what we have is real
01:19:37And it's worth fighting for
01:19:41Sweetheart, I have something to tell you
01:19:44I have something to tell you, too
01:19:48Piper is your daughter
01:19:50You knew?
01:19:51My sweet granddaughter
01:19:54Mama!
01:19:58I just found out for sure a few minutes ago
01:20:00But you've known this whole time?
01:20:02I was scared
01:20:03Okay, I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me
01:20:05I didn't know how you were feeling
01:20:09How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:22I love you, Eva
01:20:25I love you, Eva
01:20:26I love you, too
01:20:27I promise
01:20:28For the rest of my life
01:20:30I'm going to make it up to you
01:20:32As long as we're together
01:20:34It doesn't matter where we are
01:20:46Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:48For real this time?
01:20:50Yes!
01:20:51Yes, of course, I'll marry you
01:20:57Yes!
01:21:06Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas
01:21:08And the Christmas after that
01:21:09And forever
01:21:13I wouldn't have it any other way
01:21:20Who's that?
01:21:22Eva!
01:21:25Take me back!
01:21:28I'm sorry!
01:21:29I struck your tire!
01:21:33Looks like I have to take out the trash
01:21:36Again
01:21:39No?
01:21:40Not funny?
01:21:42Thanks!
01:21:43Thanks!
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