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Transcript
00:12let go of the president hand over the nuclear codes or i stick this down your
00:19hey who's hungry for some fried calamari
00:26it's commander z leader of the zenrith league
00:33sup how's your grandpa doing amelia the last time i saved him
00:37shoot him
00:59let's get this over with i have a thing later
01:25don't
01:30don't worry buddy i know a really good taylor
01:39you've done it again commander z it took the fbi five years fighting these alien terrorists
01:45but it only took you five months undercover to find them and just five minutes to take
01:51him out told you i have a thing later sir please let me honor you with a public announcement
01:56whoa sir with all due respect i just want to live my life
02:17as a normal high school senior
02:19sir your tux
02:23fuck
02:25fuck i'm gonna be late for our date ivy's gonna be real mad and your flowers
02:32thanks alphonse but i'm gonna need more than this help me get her a good apology present
02:36something something fancy okay another gift but you just secretly got her into zenith
03:11whoa
03:16hello
03:30why do you think he's a super hero for me
03:39you're a super hero for me
03:43What? Whatever. Who is he to tell me how to fight?
03:52Phew. Made it.
03:54Right on time.
03:58Why is there a party here?
04:01Ivy?
04:02Hey, anyone seen Ivy?
04:06Ivy, I brought you flowers for our dating anniversary, and...
04:10I'm glad you made it, Zeno.
04:11This is my breakup party, because I'm dumping you.
04:16Breaking up? We just hit our two...
04:18You missed the entire half of the school year.
04:20I know. You're bland, and you blend in.
04:22Hang on. I'm bland?
04:24What? You've been mixing sriracha with these in your drink or something?
04:27But you're utterly foreforgettable now, and that's embarrassing me.
04:32Seriously? Simps are supposed to try extra hard for your attention.
04:36He doesn't even try.
04:37Guess he's a failure at that, too.
04:39Excuse me, though I'm enjoying the sweet talk?
04:41This is between me and my girlfriend.
04:44Stop pretending like you can even protect me or have anything to offer, Zeno!
04:49And how would you know that?
04:50Because I'm...
04:52Gonna be the new face of Zenith League!
04:54I was just recruited by the number one superhero league in the world.
04:59As for you, class rankings came out already.
05:03Haven't you seen them?
05:04You missed so much of Mercenary School.
05:06You missed all the trials to get into the superhero leagues.
05:09Your lowest of the lows?
05:11Rank Z!
05:12And you know Zenith League only takes rank A's and above.
05:15I can't be seen with you like this.
05:22They're asking me, Commander Z of the entire league, to try out for my own team?
05:28You don't understand.
05:29Would King Kong go to school just to prove he can squash a tiny little bug?
05:34I thought so.
05:35Look closely.
05:36I only score so low, so that you, Ivy, don't have to feel so bad about coming in last place.
05:42I didn't ask you to do those things.
05:45Quit trying to guilt trip me.
05:47I bet even if your parents were alive, they'd ditch you for a more gifted son, too.
06:03I kill you just for fun.
06:05But why waste time on a maggot like you?
06:08I won't let you get away with it!
06:14That was the day I unlocked my powers.
06:17And that was when I promised to never let another child go through the same hell I did.
06:22My parents died protecting this world.
06:25Don't spell their memories.
06:27Or what?
06:28And too bad you didn't inherit your parents' super genes.
06:31Otherwise, you wouldn't be such a loser.
06:33Whatever, Xenon.
06:34You can stay at the bottom because I've upgraded for someone better.
06:38Someone who can actually take me to high places!
06:43Hey, what's up, nerd?
06:55You cheated on me, Ivy?
06:58Brad has super strength in his rank A.
07:00Zenith League just accepted him.
07:02He's my real hero.
07:04Oh my god, his superhero name is The Boulder.
07:06How cool is that?
07:07And you're just a powerless weakling.
07:09Born to be a loser.
07:11Ah, baby.
07:12I'm so sore from benching 500 today.
07:14Aw, I'll massage them for you.
07:16Looks like I gained another power.
07:17Invisibility.
07:18Ivy doesn't have to give a damn about you.
07:20Because guess what?
07:22Zenith League is starting an all-girls special team.
07:25And Ivy is going to be on it.
07:26That's right!
07:27It's led by the drop-dead gorgeous Catgirl Kini.
07:30And I'm the newest member.
07:32Oh, I'm so excited!
07:33Why aren't you applauding?
07:35You should be happy I'm making you famous for being my ex-boyfriend.
07:39That's because I was the one who got you, man.
07:48That Xeno guy was right about Birdman's weakness.
07:51I could have died if it weren't for his intel.
07:55Whoever he is, I must find him.
08:00You!
08:01Got me into Zenith League?
08:02Oh, it's almost cute!
08:04His vocab is so limited, he doesn't even know the meaning of Zenith League.
08:07I'm Commander Z, the creator and literal definition of Zenith League.
08:12Yeah, even I know Zenith means top of the top.
08:16What are those glasses for, anyways?
08:18Keep your mediocrity away from me.
08:21Don't be an idiot, Xeno.
08:22You don't even have powers.
08:24I only got into Zenith League, all thanks to Brad.
08:27His dad is the headhunter.
08:29I see how it is.
08:30Your lame excuses aren't doing a very good job covering up your greed.
08:34And to think I was going to take you to the top with me.
08:35Not anymore.
08:36I know you're sensitive, and I broke your fragile little heart.
08:39But let's face it, there's no future with you.
08:42That's because you're too busy plummeting to the ground.
08:44Too bad, this glorified piece of rock isn't going to save you from the oncoming regret.
08:48When you realize that your upgrade is a downgrade.
08:53I'll show you who's a downgrade!
08:56UGH!
09:10I made a promise to my parents that I was only going to use my powers for good, not petty
09:14fights.
09:21Nobody's ever deflected my punch before, much less catch it.
09:24How did he...
09:25Oh, he's so big and strong.
09:28They don't call Brad the boulder for nothing.
09:31You fools are made for each other.
09:32Xeno, even being invisible would do you more good than having no powers.
09:37I'm sorry for you.
09:39You can save the pity for yourself.
09:41You know what?
09:41This guy's ruined the whole party.
09:43I've got a bigger bachelor pod.
09:44Let's head over there.
09:45Here's a lesson before I leave you in the dust, Xeno.
09:48Love is for fairy tales.
09:49Even I know that.
09:52A loser.
09:54So that's what my first girlfriend thinks of me, huh?
09:56Well, joke's on her.
10:01Because from where I stand, I see a hero.
10:14That's thanks for helping me take down the enemy.
10:17Oh, you mean the pigeon guys?
10:20Thought you said you had them in the bag.
10:22Miss Rank S.
10:25I didn't.
10:26A good cat admits when she's met her better half.
10:29Guess you're not just some nerd.
10:30You'd be an asset to Xenorith League.
10:32How about you become our battle tactician?
10:35Is that an invite?
10:37To my own superhero league?
10:40It is!
10:41Tomorrow's the first day training for new recruits.
10:44Your ex-girlfriend will be there too.
10:45I can tell everyone you're my boyfriend.
10:48Help you get back at her.
10:49I went from tactician to boyfriend in less than five seconds.
10:52That's a little fast.
10:53I have to think about it.
10:54I live life on the edge.
10:56Bottoms up, boo.
10:58This is a good chance to see what my team is actually like.
11:00I'll stay undercover for this.
11:06First training day is like frat rush.
11:08You'll have to go through a gauntlet of opponents,
11:10but I bet you'll have plenty of pointers for our heroes.
11:12If they're actually any good, then they won't need my help.
11:15Oh, you'll be surprised.
11:16You go in there first, I'm going to change.
11:18I'll be back in a moment to introduce you.
11:27First training day!
11:28I'm ready to shoot up some new recruits!
11:31Again?
11:32You nearly killed everyone in our last batch.
11:34And a bunch of villagers, too.
11:36Maybe save some fun for me this time, huh?
11:38What the hell?
11:39I created Zenith League so the world's best superheroes can fight crime and evil together,
11:44not torment civilians.
11:49Oh my gosh!
11:51Zenith League even upgraded my weapon for me!
11:54Personally delivered by catgirl Kimi's sidekick, too!
11:56And it's all thanks to you for recommending me, Brad.
12:05Butts up, towel boy!
12:10Wait, what?
12:11Good dodge, kid.
12:13Maybe one day, you can be like us.
12:16Now go wash my dirty laundry.
12:18They think I'm just a towel boy.
12:20This ought to be fun.
12:22Brad!
12:22I want a rematch for that arm wrestling the other day.
12:25Oh yeah?
12:25You want to get whooped again?
12:30This what you superheroes do all day?
12:32Getting off on measuring guns and stroking your eagles?
12:37Xeno, what the hell are you doing here?
12:39This is only for Zenith League superheroes and recruits!
12:42Your technique's all wrong.
12:43You gotta engage your toes.
12:44Oh, and never underestimate pinky power.
12:48Who's this weak-looking twig?
12:50Ignore him.
12:50He's just a powerless loser from mercenary school.
12:52Came in dead last in class.
12:53Zero powers.
12:54I can't believe it, Brad!
12:55He's so desperate!
12:56He's stalking me now!
12:57That's so creepy!
12:59Ivy, aren't you just a new recruit?
13:01Don't talk like you own the place.
13:03Or I may have to humble you.
13:06You beat us?
13:07Dude, did I hit you too hard on the head last time?
13:10You fucking lost it!
13:13You're like a helpless puppy on the streets, begging for attention.
13:16You're the one who's all bark and no bite.
13:18This isn't a challenge for me,
13:20because beating you guys would be like squashing an ant.
13:22That's it, four eyes.
13:23You can only read about how to fight in a textbook.
13:26But I've got real combat experience!
13:33So let me show you what makes me a real man!
13:36Or maybe I'll teach you a lesson in humility.
13:41Give up, Xenon.
13:42I know you're desperate to get me back, but you have no powers.
13:44You're not even good enough to be the towel boy.
13:46I told you, I'm not interested in your petty little games.
13:48Come on, loser.
13:49You don't even want to fight back after your girl chose me?
13:51What, you scared?
13:52Of course he's scared, Brad.
13:53Everyone knows you've got super strength and you're the strongest of our class.
13:56You're going to break his arm in less than a second.
13:58You keep underestimating me, Ivy.
14:00But you're going to regret it.
14:01Her only regret is not dumping your nerdy ass earlier.
14:03Now put your arm up, and if you don't, Trigger Happy will show you a real good time.
14:07Games and powers, that's all they care about.
14:10Instead of helping those in need, I really should clean house.
14:14Go on, arm up, dipshit.
14:17Better use that pinky power you were talking about if you want to live.
14:23Three, two, one, go!
14:35If you're rank A, then what am I?
14:41What the hell was that?
14:42You look scared.
14:44I thought you were the bolder.
14:46Not very bold, are you?
14:48I told you your stance was all wrong.
14:50Nobody has ever beat Brad before.
14:54This, this is impossible.
14:56What kind of trickery did you pull on me?
14:58Spill it!
14:59I'd never lose.
15:01I won fair and square, bro.
15:03Who's the sore loser now?
15:10Enough.
15:11No more of this, Xenon.
15:12I know I broke your fragile little heart when I dumped you,
15:15but this is no place for your circus act.
15:17Yeah, your loser ex-boyfriend just wants to humiliate you
15:20in front of all the heroes at Zenith League.
15:22Do you even know what this place is, Xenon?
15:24This is the Danger Room.
15:26The ultimate training arena for Zenith League.
15:29Designed by Catgirl Kimi herself.
15:31She is the only rank-ass female fighter in the League.
15:34Nobody dares to mess with her.
15:35Well, I didn't need those glasses anyways.
15:37Suppressed?
15:38This whip is the very proof that I belong here.
15:40Yeah, your aim really has improved with that new whip.
15:42Zenith League upgraded it with material that can even burn through an iron wall.
15:45Before, you couldn't even hit an elephant if it was two feet in front of you.
15:48Stop talking down to me.
15:49I'm a somebody now and you're a nobody.
15:51What are you gonna do?
15:51You actually whip me?
15:53I'm not your boyfriend anymore, or are you begging me back now?
15:55That's it.
15:56I'm getting rid of you once and for all!
16:07He caught my whip!
16:11This whip is injected with Venom 2.
16:13How is he still okay?
16:14You said you got this whip because Catgirl Kimi recruited you to be on her girl power squad?
16:19Yes, and you better watch it.
16:22New Confucian is you mess with me.
16:24That's messing with Catgirl Kimi.
16:27What?
16:28You're an idiot, Zeno.
16:30And I thought you were at least book smart.
16:31All of us here are rank-A heroes.
16:33We could pumple you to mush if we wanted to.
16:35But now, you're straight up tempting death.
16:38Catgirl Kimi skinned her last opponent, Birdman Alive, you know that?
16:41Oh yes, I heard.
16:41She told me the whole thing.
16:42You see, Kimiko was the one who invited me today.
16:45Are you kidding me?
16:47Catgirl Kimiko is a rank-ass hero!
16:48She would never be caught with a powerless weaker like you.
16:51Oof.
16:52And they say only sticks and stones can hurt me.
16:54Actually, nothing can.
16:55It's time I take back everything I ever gave you and put you in your place, I am.
17:09So are we just going to stand around and talk?
17:11Or are we going to fight?
17:20What was that?
17:21Zeon!
17:21You'll pay for this!
17:23Brad, do something!
17:27This all you got?
17:29All I feel is a light breeze.
17:30You don't want to play with Hellfire!
17:36You just look like an ape drenched in kerosene.
17:39Get a grip.
17:44He-he!
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