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Divorcing The Obsessive Billionaire : New
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00:00Before I met Silas, my life was anything but easy.
00:03My mother Mary had a weakness for a handsome face.
00:05She fell hard and fast, sleeping with my father without bothering to dig into his background.
00:10Then she got pregnant.
00:11It was only after I was born that she realized the man she loved belonged to New York's old money
00:18elite,
00:18the kind of wealth where a casual wave of his hand could have set her up for life.
00:22The catch?
00:23My father Richard was nothing more than a glorified gold detcher.
00:26He had married into the Sterling family to climb the social ladder.
00:30My mother was just his dirty little secret.
00:36When his wife, Eleanor, found out, all hell broke loose.
00:42Richard always acted like a king around my mother.
00:44But in front of Eleanor, he cowered like a beaten dog.
00:48Richard, please look at her. She's your daughter.
00:51Get out!
00:54My mother struggled to raise me alone.
00:56We scraped by.
00:57She worked a food cart in the cold rain,
00:59sold cheap trinkets on the street,
01:01and ran blindly from municipal police
01:03until her lungs burned and one of her shoes came off.
01:07Eventually, she reached her breaking point.
01:10She swore she was going to get me a better life.
01:11I have no idea how she managed it,
01:13but she secured a certified DNA test proving Richard was my father.
01:17She showed up at the gates of the Sterling estate,
01:19screaming until her voice gave out,
01:21demanding he take me in.
01:22Terrified of a public scandal,
01:24the Elidawit pricks finally caved.
01:26That was the day I was torn away from her.
01:29Serena, you'll never go to bed hungry again.
01:32But she was so incredibly naive.
01:35Richard looked at me like a stain on his tailored suit.
01:38And Eleanor loathed my very breathing.
01:41The household staff followed their lead,
01:44treating me like I was invisible,
01:46like I was trash.
01:48And my half-sisters?
01:49They made it their daily mission to make my life a living hell.
01:53My mother never knew any of this, though.
01:55That moment at the estate gates was the last time I ever saw her.
01:59She had terminal cancer and couldn't afford the medical bills.
02:02Once she knew I was inside,
02:03she walked straight into the freezing river
02:05and let the current take her.
02:07I grew up in the Sterling house as their so-called adopted daughter,
02:10walking on eggshells every single day.
02:13When I was 15, I stumbled upon a boy in the estate's garden.
02:16He had sliced his arm open on some rose thorns,
02:19blood dripping down his skin.
02:20Yet, he seemed completely numb to the pain,
02:23staring blankly ahead with his noise-canceling headphones
02:25blocking out the world.
02:26I swallowed my hesitation,
02:28ran back inside,
02:29and grabbed some antiseptic spray and bowed ups.
02:34I carefully cleaned the wound and patched him up.
02:37Only later did I find out his name was Silas Vance.
02:40His grandfather, Arthur,
02:41had brought him over for a business dinner.
02:43For whatever twisted reason,
02:44Arthur decided I was the one.
02:47He wanted me to marry his grandson's son.
02:49The Vances were old money.
02:51New York elite.
02:52So naturally,
02:53Richard agreed before Arthur could even finish his sentence.
02:56When my stepsisters caught wind of it,
02:58they backed me into a corner,
02:59their malicious laughter echoing in the hall.
03:01You think you hit the jackpot, you little bitch?
03:03If this was a real prize,
03:04do you honestly think he'd hand it to you?
03:07That Silas guy is a total freak.
03:10He's got autism and some manic shit.
03:12He belongs in an asylum,
03:14not a marriage.
03:15But because of that engagement to Silas,
03:17Eleanor finally stopped looking at me like I was garbage.
03:21The air in the sterling house shifted.
03:23I could finally breathe without checking over my shoulder.
03:26They stopped the relentless bullying.
03:29During those quiet moments,
03:30my mind always drifted back to that skinny boy in the garden,
03:33lost in his music.
03:34He had no idea that simply existing had pulled me out of my personal hell.
03:37A deep, anchoring sense of gratitude took root in my chest.
03:41I started researching his conditions,
03:43reading every psychology book I could find,
03:46preparing myself for how to survive in his world.
03:48Then, at 20,
03:49bound by a contract in the chains of our families,
03:52I put on a white dress and married Silas Vance.
03:54On our wedding night,
03:55the second the bedroom door shut,
03:57he completely lost it.
03:59Get away from me.
04:00Don't you dare stay in my room.
04:02Get out!
04:03I said get the fuck out!
04:03My shoulders slumped,
04:04a hot, suffocating wave of humiliation
04:06burning my cheeks as I stared at the floor.
04:08I kept track of his prescription bottles,
04:11dragged him to his psychiatric appointments.
04:13From then on,
04:14I took over Silas's care,
04:17exhausting myself running between my college classes
04:19and the Vance estate,
04:21managed his strict diet,
04:23and even laid out his clothes.
04:25Thankfully,
04:26Silas wasn't completely made of stone.
04:28Slowly,
04:29he started reacting to my presence.
04:31The scream of get out
04:33faded into silence.
04:34If I passed out on the couch from exhaustion,
04:37I'd wake up with a blanket awkwardly thrown over me.
04:39And once,
04:40when Cramps had me curled in a fetal position,
04:43he silently set a heating pad
04:45and a mug of steaming chamomile tea
04:46on the nightstand.
04:47But he never touched me,
04:49never shared my bed.
04:50Silas was the sole heir to the Vance empire,
04:53and Arthur was ruthlessly obsessed
04:55with securing a great-grandson.
04:57He pressured me constantly,
04:58his threats hanging in the air.
05:00You married into the Vance family
05:01to carry on our bloodline.
05:03It's your duty,
05:04plain and simple.
05:05But what was I supposed to do?
05:06Silas didn't want me,
05:08and I wasn't going to force him.
05:09Finally,
05:10in our fifth year,
05:11Arthur lost the last of his patients.
05:13Without any warning,
05:14he had his security guards
05:16shove Silas into my bedroom,
05:18lock the heavy oak door from the outside,
05:20trapping us inside
05:21so we'd be forced to consummate the marriage.
05:24When I tried to reach him,
05:26a heavy shard of glass
05:27from a smashed lamp
05:28splashed across my skin,
05:29and the impact of a thrown chair
05:31knocked me to the floor.
05:33By the time the first light of dawn crept in,
05:35the physical and emotional emotion
05:37and exhaust completely crushed me,
05:39and I blacked out on the floor.
05:41The next day at noon,
05:42the sound of something else shattering
05:44jolted me awake.
05:45Silas was still tearing the room apart.
05:46He smashed my phone against the wall,
05:48ripped the TV down,
05:49and kicked the remaining chairs aside.
05:51Seeing me awake,
05:52he stalked over,
05:53clutching an unbroken mirror.
05:55He shoved it in my face.
05:56The mirror showed me exactly what a wreck I was.
05:59Bruised all over,
06:00clothes torn,
06:01my skin cut by shards
06:02that had flown during his meltdown.
06:04He pointed at my reflection,
06:05his eyes hollow and filled with pure disgust.
06:09You're filthy.
06:10God, it's disgusting!
06:11I hate you!
06:14Just get out of my sight.
06:16My body felt like it had been run over by a truck that day,
06:19my knees buckling with every step.
06:22But the moment his episode peaked,
06:24Silas vanished.
06:26I had no choice but to go looking for him.
06:28By the time I finally dragged myself back to the estate gates,
06:31gasping for breath,
06:32it was already one in the morning.
06:34Silas finally returned.
06:35But there was a girl standing next to him.
06:37She had a sweet, bright smile with deep dimbles.
06:39I've never met anyone who thinks the way I do.
06:42Meeting you was the best part of tonight.
06:44That was when I realized Silas had gone to Lincoln Center alone.
06:47His phone had died,
06:49and since he couldn't navigate his way back,
06:51she had escorted him home.
06:53Silas was a musical prodigy.
06:54He had studied under masters and opened his own studio,
06:58composing award-winning pieces.
07:00I just stood there in the shadows of the porch, listening.
07:02They talked for 30 minutes,
07:04and he never even noticed I was there.
07:06It wasn't until Thomas, the old butler,
07:09couldn't bear to watch anymore
07:10that he finally spoke up.
07:12Mr. Van, it's getting very late.
07:14You should turn in.
07:15Mrs. Van has been waiting for you.
07:17The girl turned toward the voice,
07:19freezing for a second,
07:20before looking back at Silas.
07:21Is this your wife?
07:23A flash of extreme discomfort crossed Silas' face.
07:25He stayed silent for a moment before giving a stiff nod.
07:28I don't like her. I hate her.
07:29The girl's name was Chloe.
07:31Chloe gently tugged at his sleeve,
07:34her eyes curving into a smile.
07:36Well, it is late.
07:37We'll see each other next time.
07:38From that day on,
07:39whatever fragile peace Silas and I had built completely shattered.
07:42He refused to speak a single word to me.
07:44For his birthday,
07:45I gifted him a pair of high-end noise-canceling headphones.
07:48They were known for pristine audio quality
07:50and were constantly sold out.
07:52I had pre-ordered them six months in advance,
07:55but Silas just took them,
07:57dropped them on the hardwood floor,
07:59and crushed them under his heel right in front of me.
08:02I don't like you.
08:03I don't want your crap.
08:04It's garbage.
08:05I don't want it!
08:07He spent that birthday out with Chloe.
08:09Since their first meeting,
08:11they had stayed in constant contact.
08:13Recently,
08:14she had even started interning at his studio.
08:17When he came home that night,
08:18there was a silver ring on his finger,
08:20a birthday gift from her.
08:22Staring at the crushed plastic and wires of the headphones on the floor,
08:25a cold, heavy exhaustion settled deep into my bones.
08:30The next day,
08:31Arthur suddenly called,
08:32demanding I go into Simas' private study.
08:35He needed a specific file handed over to his secretary immediately.
08:39I hesitated.
08:40Silas strictly forbade me from crossing that threshold.
08:43But Arthur pushed,
08:46insisting it was urgent,
08:47and the secretary was already waiting at the door.
08:50Swallowing my anxiety,
08:51I went in,
08:52grabbed the file,
08:53and meticulously put everything back,
08:56exactly as I found it.
08:57But Silas found out anyway.
08:59His phone was linked to the smart home security app.
09:01His jaw clenched so tight,
09:03the muscle fluttered,
09:04a dark storm brewing in his eyes.
09:06You are not allowed in there.
09:08You don't cross that line!
09:10Because I had merely stepped inside for two minutes to grab a folder,
09:14he hired a cleaning crew
09:15to scrub the study from top to bottom.
09:18I stared at him numbly,
09:19the question finally clawing its way out of my throat.
09:22Why am I not allowed in?
09:24Lately, you've been inviting Chloe to our house all the time.
09:27You two lock themselves inside that study for entire days just talking about music.
09:32Why is Chloe permitted to go in there,
09:34yet I'm not allowed to cross the threshold at all?
09:37Why her,
09:38but never me?
09:39Also, I'm not filthy.
09:41Why would you have a crew scrub the room just because I walked in?
09:44She is different from you.
09:46She understands music.
09:47She gets it.
09:49You don't.
09:50You walking in there ruins it.
09:52It wasn't the first time I had heard those exact words.
09:55Back when I first entered the Sterling household,
09:58my stepsisters used to scream the exact same thing at me.
10:03The fight drained out of me all at once.
10:05I was so damn tired of living like this.
10:08I wanted a divorce.
10:10Once the thought of divorce took root in my mind, it spread like a wild vine.
10:13A week later, I went to see Arthur Vance.
10:16I looked him in the eye and told him I was out.
10:18Arthur sat on the massive leather sofa in his grand estate,
10:21tapping his index finger rhythmically against the mahogany table.
10:24Why?
10:24I told him Simus had found someone he wanted.
10:27Arthur listened and fell into a long silence.
10:29Finally, he cleared his throat, his gaze locking sharply onto mine.
10:33Serena, do you know why I chose you as my grandson's wife out of everyone else?
10:37Because I gave him a band-aid in the garden?
10:40No.
10:41I had your background thoroughly investigated.
10:45I knew you were genuinely kind.
10:48And I knew being an illegitimate daughter had left you in an impossible position.
10:52You were despised in the Sterling house just for breathing.
10:56You desperately needed a way out.
10:59With your engagement to Silas as a shield, those people wouldn't dare trample you so openly anymore.
11:05Serena, I will reconsider the divorce.
11:07Go back to the estate for now.
11:09Besides, Simus is the other party in this marriage.
11:11It can't happen without his consent.
11:12I nodded, stood up, and left the room.
11:15A cold spring rain was pouring outside, the wind welling.
11:19As I stepped out the front door of the estate, my feet suddenly rooted to the spot.
11:25Silas was standing by the half-open door.
11:27I had no idea how long he had been standing there, or how much he had heard.
11:30The moment his eyes met mine, his jaw clenched so hard his face went sheet white.
11:35You said you want a divorce?
11:40When I gave him a firm yes, Simus went dead silent.
11:43His brow furrowed, wheels turning in his head.
11:46After a long pause, come be pause.
11:48Then, after the divorce, will you still take care of me?
11:53Simus, divorce means we become strangers.
11:56I won't be your wife anymore, and I have zero obligation to take care of you.
12:02I see.
12:03The rain was coming down harder now, slanting sideways and soaking half his shoulder.
12:07Silas stared at me, dead serious, and shook his head.
12:11No divorce.
12:13If we divorce, no one will take care of me.
12:15Don't you want Chloe?
12:17Then have her take care of you, handle all your damn day-to-day needs.
12:20No, she's busy.
12:21She has to compose.
12:22She can't be trapped at home all day.
12:25You're free.
12:26You take care of me.
12:28Silas, if you just want a damn caretaker, use your money and hire a nurse.
12:32Before I came, didn't your old caregiver manage just fine?
12:36Before I came, didn't rails if you want to be.
12:38My throat tightened.
12:40Not wanting to trigger a full-blown meltdown, I turned and walked back toward the estate.
12:44He trailed right behind me, chanting, no divorce like a broken record.
12:49When I didn't respond, he dug his nails in harder, until drops of blood welled up.
12:53I truly didn't understand what Silas was being so stubborn about.
12:57When I finally asked, he stuttered for a while before dropping one word.
13:02Habit?
13:03Habits can be changed.
13:05When I first started taking care of you, you hated it too.
13:07It just takes time to adjust.
13:09You'll get used to someone else.
13:14No!
13:15We are not divorcing!
13:17You have to listen to me!
13:18You know, and I didn't go in, we'd like to avoid!
13:24And the second he saw Chloe at the front door, his eyes lit up.
13:28The divorce he was just fighting over was indently thrown out of his mind.
13:31They walked straight into his private study.
13:34Before shutting the door, soon, the sweeping notes of the grand piano seeped through the heavy wood.
13:39Mixed with Chloe's bright, echoing laughter, the room sounded sickeningly alive.
13:44When Chloe came out of the study, it was already 10 p.m.
13:47It was pouring outside.
13:49Silas glanced at the rain and stopped her.
13:52It's raining.
13:53You'll get sick.
13:54Stay here tonight.
13:57Dummy, I didn't bring pajamas.
13:59How can I stay?
14:00She has some.
14:02How can you answer for someone else?
14:06This is my house, not hers.
14:09The clothes were bought with my money.
14:11I make the damn rules.
14:16Well then, Mrs. Vance, I guess I'll be staying the night.
14:19I hope I'm not interrupting any marital duties.
14:23Simus was right.
14:24This wasn't my home.
14:25It was time to pack my bags.
14:28After two days of searching, I signed a lease on a modestly priced studio apartment.
14:34Silas walked in just as I was folding my clothes into a suitcase.
14:37Since I brought up the divorce, his hostility towards me had now backed slightly.
14:41Very rarely, he would even initiate a conversation.
14:45Packing?
14:46Are you throwing those out?
14:48No.
14:51You should.
14:52They're hideous.
14:53You have no eye for aesthetics.
14:55You don't know how to put things together.
14:57Then what looks good?
14:58Like what Chloe wears.
15:00That looks good.
15:01You need to learn from her.
15:03I have money.
15:04I can buy them for you.
15:07A year ago, Silas and I attempted a trip to the mall.
15:11He personally picked that exact dress off the rack and handed it to me.
15:15I still clearly remember his reaction when I stepped out of the fitting room.
15:22Beautiful.
15:24Beautiful.
15:26It was the exact same dress, yet now he found it hideous and tasteless.
15:32Was it the dress that changed or the man looking at it?
15:35I lowered my gaze and shoved the white dress into the suitcase anyway.
15:38No thanks.
15:39I like my own style.
15:40A dark flash of irritation instantly clouded Silas' eyes.
15:44He dropped a cold, suit yourself, and stormed out of the room.
15:47The door slammed shut with a bang that made my ears ring.
15:50I only slept in that small studio for one night before buying a ticket to Sedona, Arizona.
15:55When I was little, my mother always coaxed me, promising that life would get better.
15:59She said once she saved up enough money, she would take me on a trip.
16:02After she was gone, I told myself the same lie.
16:05Once I saved enough, I would travel the world.
16:08It turned out that having money didn't guarantee a ticket to freedom.
16:11Because you had chains.
16:12Because you had no time of your own.
16:14But right now, I was finally standing underneath the breathtaking red rock canyons of Sedona.
16:19The dry mountain wind swept across the waters of Oak Creek, scattering the shapes of the clouds in the sky.
16:25I put my earbuds in, rented a bike, and rode aimlessly along the red dirt trails.
16:31Past the desert wilderness covered in cacti's.
16:34The drappled light filtering through the pine forests.
16:38And the ancient, weathered rock formations.
16:41A massive crowd of people escaping high-pressure lives gathered here.
16:44We wandered through local artist markets, browsing handmade clay pottery and crystal healing booths.
16:50As night fell, we sat on the ground under a canopy of stars, trading our broken stories.
16:56There was a medical student pushed to the brink of a bake-down who dropped out to wander.
17:01She said here, her days were finally no longer chopped into tiny fragments by scalpels and exams.
17:07There was a man undergoing a long journey of healing from severe trauma.
17:11He said no one knows what tomorrow holds.
17:15But at least right now, his soul was regrowing.
17:19We met only briefly, brushing against the most hidden, tender corners of each other's hearts.
17:24And then, like the creeks in the canyons, flowed our separate ways, never to cross paths again.
17:31A few days later, I hiked up Airport Massa alone to watch the sunrise.
17:36When the first ray of sunlight pierced the horizon, it shattered like gold coins across the crimson canyons.
17:43In my entire life, I had never felt the crushing weight of freedom so profoundly.
17:47No damn alarm clocks.
17:49No endless lists of Medicaid seders reminds on my phone.
17:52If I wanted to, I could spend the entire day just staring blankly in at the red rocks in the
17:57distance.
17:58Sitting on the shuttle bus heading back to the airport, I dialed Arthur's number.
18:04Serena, come back quickly.
18:07Silas, he is in a very, very bad state.
18:12I ended up making a trip back to the Vance estate anyway.
18:15When he realized I was actually gone, Silas descended into absolute fury.
18:21He had no idea how to function on his own.
18:25For instance, faced with the rows of prescription bottles in his medicine cabinet, he had no clue how many pills
18:31of each anti-anxiety med to take daily.
18:33Before, I was always the one pouring him a glass of water and placing the exact dose into his palm.
18:38He had an important press event for a new piece that day, but he couldn't find the silk tie that
18:43matched his tailored suit to save his life.
18:46He called my phone frantically, only to hit a cold voicemail.
18:50Left with no choice, Arthur threw money at the problem and hired a high-end professional caretaker named Martha.
18:56But Martha had no idea how to navigate Silas's temper, and was left completely paralyzed by his outbursts.
19:03When I walked through the doors, Simus had visibly lost a lot of weight, his jawline sharp as a blade.
19:08Seeing me, his face instantly darkened, and he coldly turned his head away.
19:13What the hell are you doing back here?
19:15Weren't you leaving?
19:17I hate you.
19:18Liar.
19:20While I was traveling, Arthur used his connections to track down the landlord of the apartment I rented.
19:26Silas stared at the suitcase in my hand and let out a low, cold scoff.
19:30The Stirlers kicked you out like trash.
19:32You don't even have a doghouse to sleep in.
19:35In the end, you still had to crawl right back, didn't you?
19:38I couldn't be bothered to defend myself.
19:40I just silently hauled my luggage toward my bedroom.
19:43But the exact second I turned my back, the corner of Silas's mouth unconsciously ticked up.
19:49His tightly coiled mood seemed considerably lighter, but he had absolutely no idea why I was really back.
19:55If I lost that apartment, I could find another one.
19:58I could hire a lawyer if I had to.
19:59I could even grab my passport, leave New York entirely, and start fresh somewhere no one knew me.
20:06Back in Arizona, Arthur and I had a long conversation over the phone.
20:09I explicitly told him I had already consulted at a divorce attorney.
20:13I could file for divorce directly with the court.
20:15Even if he unleashed his legal team to make me lose the first round, I didn't care.
20:19On the other end of the line, Arthur descended into dead silence.
20:23Just when I thought he was going to hang up on me, he finally spoke.
20:27I paid top dollar for a new caretaker, but she has zero idea how to handle Silas's temper.
20:33Stay and take care of him for one final month.
20:36Make sure every detail is properly handed over.
20:39As compensation, after one month, I won't have my lawyers block your divorce filing.
20:44Plus, I'll have a check cut for one million dollars for you.
20:47The deal was simply too good.
20:49With that money, I'd have enough to start a new life anywhere.
20:53I couldn't refuse.
20:56So, Silas had no idea this was the final month I would ever be in his life.
21:01Thomas told me that over the two weeks I was gone, Silas had barely touched a proper meal.
21:06But tonight, sitting at the dining table, he swallowed down two portions of pasta.
21:11Mm-hmm.
21:12Praise me.
21:14I pushed down my emotions and, just like every day for the past five years, softened my voice.
21:21You did great.
21:22Once he turned and went into the study, I immediately grabbed the new caretaker, Martha, and whispered,
21:28He craves positive reinforcement.
21:30Praise him often.
21:31If he messes something up, absolutely never point it out on the spot.
21:34Wait until he's calm.
21:35And bring it up casually later.
21:37Since I came back, it was as if someone hit play on Silas' daily routine again.
21:41He hadn't shown a single sign of a manic episode.
21:44Until today.
21:45When Martha walked into his room carrying a glass of water for his meds,
21:48the piercing sound of shattering glass suddenly tore through the walls.
21:51By the time I rushed into the room, the floor was a complete disaster zone.
21:55Shattered glass and anti-anxiety pills were scattered everywhere.
21:59Sima stood there barefoot.
22:00A sharp shard of glass had sliced into the sole of his foot,
22:03blood steadily trickling down his skin.
22:05Why is she here?
22:08Why isn't it you?
22:10This is supposed to be your job.
22:12Why are you replacing yourself?
22:15I don't want anyone else.
22:17I don't want her.
22:19I only want you to give me my meds.
22:21Swallowing a sigh, I turned around, poured a fresh glass of warm water, tapped out the exact dosage, and handed
22:27it to him.
22:28Watching him obediently swallow the pills, and seeing his breathing finally level down.
22:33Why does it have to be me?
22:34When I saw it wasn't you walking in, I got a little scared.
22:39What were you scared of?
22:42I was scared you were handing me off to someone else.
22:44His grip on my wrist tightened.
22:47And then you would just leave, and you wouldn't want me anymore?
22:50Silas was still death-gripping my sleeve like a drowning man.
22:53From now on, it has to be you every day.
22:54No replacements.
22:56Promise me you won't leave.
22:57I truly didn't have an ounce of energy left to clean up the wreckage of his emotions.
23:01Okay, I promise.
23:02I won't leave.
23:03No replacement.
23:04That noon, I saw Chloe again.
23:07He's been looking for this piece forever.
23:09Please give it to him for me.
23:11Simus is right upstairs.
23:12Why don't you take it in yourself?
23:13No.
23:14He doesn't want to see me anymore.
23:17Serena.
23:18I fell in love with Silas.
23:19It was obvious, wasn't it?
23:20I nodded.
23:21I'd have to be blind not to see it.
23:23When I first saw him at Lincoln Center, everyone around him was in groups.
23:27He was the only one standing there entirely alone, completely out of sync with the rest
23:32of the world.
23:34I locked onto his face in the crowd instantly.
23:41When I found out his phone was dead, I immediately jumped at the chance and offered to take him
23:47home.
23:47I'm not stupid.
23:48Two sentences into our conversation, I realized his brain was wired differently than normal
23:53people.
23:53But I actually found that incredibly charming.
23:55He was so pure, completely unfiltered.
23:59After you moved out, Arthur Vance contacted me himself.
24:02He told me you had filed for divorce.
24:03When I heard that news, I was secretly thrilled.
24:06I told him that since he wanted a divorce, he should just let you go.
24:09I told him I was more than willing to take over the responsibility of caring for him.
24:13But do you know what the outcome was?
24:18Do you want to come inside for a cup of coffee?
24:24I baked him a strawberry shortcake from scratch.
24:27He stared at it for a long time, and then he actually turned to me and said that strawberries
24:30were your favorite.
24:33Strawberries were her favorite.
24:36But do you know what absolutely broke me?
24:39And then what?
24:41I asked him point the bound if he was ever going to divorce you.
24:44Absolutely not.
24:49I think I really lost my mind that night.
24:51I was just so desperate to prove that he had feelings for me too.
24:54So I barged right into his bedroom and stripped off my clothes right in front of him.
24:58I told him if he wanted to, he could try.
25:01Right before he kicked me out, he was so effurious, the vines in his neck were popping.
25:05I thought you were better than all those shallow women, but you're just as goddamn damn cheap!
25:08I never want to lay eyes again!
25:11As I was being thrown out the front doors, I looked back.
25:14He was curled up on the sofa, buried in that pile of plushies you made, and he was very,
25:18very softly calling your name.
25:20When I first fell for a married man, I could still brainwash myself.
25:23I told myself Silas didn't love you at all, that you used a marriage contract to chain
25:28a socially enelved genius to your side.
25:31In love, the one who isn't loved is the real homewrecker.
25:34Lately, Silas had become unusually clingy.
25:37He would even rack his brain awkwardly trying to strike up conversations with me out of thin
25:42air.
25:42Where'd you go during the half month you disappeared?
25:44I opened my phone gallery, showing him the photos and videos from Sedona.
25:48I don't like spock my leg is, like traveling mobile.
25:51The heavy legs, right?
25:53It'll fill that legs here.
25:56It's just studio seeing as if I'm going to laugh at it.
25:59The designs were incredibly aesthetic.
26:01If you had been there, you definitely would have taken a second look.
26:04Have you ever seen native pottery, pressing and blueprint pressing, or wood board prints?
26:08Look, this clay figurine is one I made myself.
26:11Isn't it meaningful?
26:12I opened my phone gallery, showing him the photos and videos from Sedona, sharing the
26:16moments that brought me back to life.
26:18Have you ever seen native pottery, botanel pressing, or wood board prints?
26:22Look, this clay figurine is one I made myself.
26:26Isn't it meaniously?
26:27I even went foraging in the forest with a local guide.
26:30We hiked along the creek all afternoon and picked a basket full of wild berries and mushrooms.
26:35It was the first time I so viscerally felt that just being alive could being alive could
26:40be this rewarding.
26:41Oh, sorry, am I talking too much too much?
26:44It's fine, keep talking, I'm listening.
26:47He just sat there quietly, listening to me animatically describe the red rocks, the wild
26:51winds, and the starry skies.
26:53When I finally finished, he suddenly asked,
26:56Do you really love traveling that much?
26:59Without a shed of hesitation, I nodded emphatically.
27:02His eyes darkened slightly.
27:03I always feel like I'm only safe when I'm inside my own house, but it's fine.
27:07We can try.
27:08Try what?
27:11Lately, he barely went to his studio downtown anymore, preferring to stay holed up in the
27:16house all day.
27:17That afternoon, he suddenly yelled my name from the study.
27:20I walked to the doorway, asking him from across the hall what he wanted.
27:24What do you want?
27:25He pushed the heavy oak door open and waved me over.
27:28Come in.
27:29My feet instantly nailed to the floor.
27:32My brain immediately flashed back to the terrifying image of the last time I accidentally stepped
27:37into the study, his manic episode.
27:39The veins popping in his neck, him screaming at me to get the hell out.
27:51The glow of the setting sun poured through the floor to cleaning windows, hitting him
27:56straight in the back.
27:57Bathed in the backlit sunset, the tips of his hair was dyed of piercing pale gold.
28:02His thick, butterfly-winged lilashes lowered, fingers leaping across the black and white
28:06keys, notes cascading from his figure tips like a waterfall.
28:09There are people in this world who are completely tone-deaf, like me.
28:12I didn't understand adagios, lagawis, or incredibly complex chord structures.
28:22Did it sound good?
28:24It did.
28:25It was really beautiful.
28:27It's just a rough draft.
28:29It's far from perfect.
28:31If I tweak the harmonies, it will be better.
28:35What's the name of the piece?
28:37I haven't decided yet.
28:39This piece, it was written for you.
28:41Your birthday is in a few days.
28:43My breath hitched in my throat.
28:45Never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to give me a gift like this.
28:48Do you know why I am the way I am?
28:50I had asked Arthur about his condition before.
28:53The shrewd old man brushed it off, telling me that a negligent maim caused Silas Silic
28:57catch a severe fever when he was little, damaging his brain.
29:00His fingers began to tremble violently.
29:02Just recalling the past was already draining every ounce of oxygen from his lungs.
29:07It's okay.
29:08If it's too painful, you don't have to force yourself to say it.
29:11I have to say it.
29:13I want you to know.
29:15Back then, my dad pursued my mom like a madman for four straight years before she finally
29:19withstood her family's pressure and agreed to marry him.
29:21But just two years into their marriage, my mom found out that the man who swore he loved
29:25her was keeping mistresses on the side.
29:29The first time he got caught, my mom completely broke down.
29:32My dad dropped to his knees, crying and sworing he would change.
29:36But then came the second time, the third time, the fourth time.
29:39I even, I even walked in on my dad and some disgusting woman on the couch in our own house.
29:44God, it was so fucking sickening.
29:47My mom couldn't take the endless humiliation anymore, so she packed us up and moved out.
29:52But my dad tracked us down like a ghost, dropping to his knees again, begging for forgiveness.
29:56For my sake, my mom caved again and took me back to that house.
29:59But the second we moved back, she found out my dad had never cut things off with that woman.
30:06Even during the days he was crying outside our apartment, begging my mom to come home,
30:10he had his mistress stashed in a hotel nearby.
30:12My mom was in my room coaxing me to sleep while my dad was in the very next room fucking
30:16that woman.
30:18At this point, Sima snapped his eyes open, the depths of them filled with a chilling despair.
30:22But this time my mom didn't cry and she didn't throw things.
30:25She was as calm as a corpse.
30:26She even suggested the three of us took a family vacation out of state.
30:30That night, in a completely unfamiliar city, in an unfamiliar hotel suite.
30:36My dad, covered in blood, fought back like a madman.
30:39He clamped his hands around my mom's throat, strangling her.
30:43And me?
30:45My mom had deadbolted me out on the balcony beforehand.
30:49I pounded on the glass door, screaming until my throat tore, but I couldn't get in.
30:54All I could do was watch.
30:56In the gossip circles of the New York elite, the Vanser's love story was a modern fairy tale.
31:01Back then, Richard Vance Sother was set for a business alliance but fell in love at first sight with a
31:05girl from an unordinary background.
31:07The girl didn't want to be dragged into the mud of old money and flatly refused.
31:10Richard relentlessly pursued her for four entire years before his devotion finally won her over.
31:15After the wedding, they were famous for being incredibly in love.
31:18It wasn't long before they had the Vance family heir, Silas.
31:21But sadly, the good die young.
31:24The public story was that during a family vacation, Simas' mother suffered a sudden fatal heart attack.
31:29Unable to bear the agony of losing the love of his life, Richard shot himself in their hotel room, dying
31:34for love.
31:35But who the fuck would have guessed that beneath this sickeningly sweet fairy tale lay nothing but betrayal, murder, and
31:40absolute glore?
31:41And the Silas who was locked on the balcony, forced to watch his parents slaughter each other, was only six
31:46years old?
31:46His mind simply couldn't handle that kind of devastating impact.
31:51Serena, I'm tearing this open to show you because I want you to know me, the absolute entirety of me,
31:55including the ugliest, most rotting scars.
31:57I know I'm sick, severely sick, but I'll take my meds.
32:01I'll fight like hell to overcome it.
32:03From now on, you can walk into this study whenever you want.
32:05I will absolutely never scream at you again.
32:07If you want, you can hold my hand too.
32:09I swear to God, I won't shake you off.
32:11I'll take my pills on time like a normal person.
32:13I won't explode at you like a lunatic anymore.
32:15Serena, let's go on a trip together.
32:16I want to try for you to go to a completely unfamiliar place, and after we make it back alive,
32:20I'll give you a proper birthday.
32:22Holding my hand in a vite grip, he opened the tablet on his desk and stared dead at the cities
32:26on the map, treating it with the same absolute rigority as his sheet music.
32:31I walked out the hallway, dialed Arthur's number, and told him Silas had initiated a trip out of state.
32:41Is the handover with Martha completely finished?
32:44Right now, there was less than a week left of the final 30 days I had promised to stay.
32:49If I went on this trip with Silas now, the exact second we landed at the airport and returned to
32:53the estate would be the exact second I dragged my suitcase away and walked out of his life forever.
32:58Every dosage, every detail Martha needed to know, I've already handed over perfectly.
33:01I swallowed the dryness in my throat and replied,
33:02Arthur gave a heavy, hmm, over the phone. Since he's willing to step out of this house, go, take him
33:07to see the outside world.
33:08Silas and I studied the map for a long time. In the end, we decided to fly to the vast
33:13wilderness of Montana.
33:14Silas studied travel guides with the same exacting riggery he brought to complex sheet music, putting together an insanely detailed
33:21itinerary.
33:22He even dug out an expensive DSR camera specifically for this. I can take pictures of you.
33:27He was an absolute control freak. He was an itinerary, was packed airtight.
33:30He had even pre-decided exactly what calorie count food we would eat for every single meal on every single
33:35day.
33:35When we stepped into the first class cabin, I could distinctly feel Silas' breathing start to hitch.
33:41Maybe it was the severe trauma of being deadbolt on that balcony watching a slaughter unfold, but he violently rejected
33:47any confined space he couldn't escape from.
33:49A plane isn't a road trip. Once it takes off, you don't even have the power to tell them to
33:53pull over.
33:53If you feel even slightly panicked, we get off right now. Don't fucking force it.
33:57I'm fine. We're going. I don't want to ruin your mood again.
34:01After finally landing, we chartered an SUV and bounced along desolate highways for four straight hours before reaching the National
34:06Park Reserve in Montana.
34:07The entire ride, every single nerve in Silas' body was pulled as tight as a bowstring.
34:12Serena, I'm fine.
34:13After arriving at our hotel suite, I went into the bathroom alone to take a hot shower and wash off
34:19the exhaustion.
34:26Hearing the bathroom door open, his head snapped up like he'd been electrocuted.
34:31Desperate to hide his breakdown, he sucked in two massive breaths of air, frantically ripped open his suitcase, tapped out
34:36two strong anti-anxiety pills, and swallowed them dry without water.
34:41I'm going to take a shower, too.
34:42I'm fine. I'm really fine. Don't worry.
34:45Do you need me to tell you a bedtime story?
34:46No need. I'm about to fall asleep. You go to sleep, too. Tomorrow, we'll go look at the planes together.
34:51But the next morning, the heavy, almost bruised-looking Darkles under his eyes instantly exposed the fact that he had
34:56stared at the Clayling all night until dawn.
34:58He couldn't even choke down a piece of toast for breakfast, yet he hid in the bathroom, secretly throwing pills
35:02down his throat multiple times.
35:04Don't look at me. Look over there. Walk over a bit. I'll take a picture of you with the camera.
35:09He raised the heavy DSVR, but his index finger resting on the shutter was shaking wildly, completely out of his
35:15control.
35:16Jesus, why does his face look so awful? He looks like he's got severe altitude sickness.
35:19No way, right? The altitude here isn't even 2,000 meters. I just need a little more time to adjust.
35:24I'm really fine.
35:25He forced himself to pull me along, taking over a dozen photos, but every time he checked the screen, his
35:29brows furled tighter.
35:30This isn't right.
35:31I asked him softly what exactly was wrong.
35:33He didn't answer. His fingers, driven by extreme anxiety, were twisting the hem of his windbreaker so hard,
35:37he was practically tearing the fabric.
35:39Kids these days will literally die for a photo.
35:41Your boyfriend's face is as white as corpse.
35:43Instead of rushing him to a hospital, you're actually making him hold that damn camera for your photo shoot?
35:46Serena, let's take pictures later. Let's just take a walk first, okay?
35:50I watched their retreating backs, suppressing the bitter ache in my chest, and sighed saltly.
35:58They looked so damn free.
35:59Hearing that, Silas suddenly grinted his teeth.
36:01He tried to speed up his pace, forcing himself to run with me across this wilderness.
36:05But this damn, completely exposed, unfamiliar environment terrified him.
36:10Every step he took was as stiff as walking through a minefield.
36:13Serena, you run. I'll just stand right here and capture it on camera for you.
36:17Forget it. Let's just walk slowly.
36:19That afternoon, I decided to try horseback riding.
36:22The horse picked up its hooves, gradually accelerating from a walk to a brisk trot.
36:26Silas gripped the camera tight, the shutter clicking wildly, one after another.
36:31Completely swallowed by the adrenaline rush of riding against the wind,
36:35I slowly closed my eyes, trying to feel even one second of fake freedom.
36:39Right then, a blood-cripping, distorted scream violently tore through the cold air and slammed into my eardrums.
36:44I jerked the reins hard and snapped my head around.
36:47It was Simus's voice.
36:48Simus had a full-blown manic episode.
36:50The trigger that set him off was a couple standing nearby.
36:52For whatever bullshit reason, the couple suddenly started arguing violently on the grass.
36:56The man lowered his voice and cursed, saying he was going to beat the hell out of her the second
37:00they got back to the hotel.
37:01The woman screamed like a maniac, pointing right in his face, yelling that if he dared to leave, she would
37:06stab a knife straight through his heart.
37:08When the man violently shoved the woman to the ground, Silas's sanity completely snapped.
37:13He charged forward like a lunatic, blocking the man's path.
37:16Once Silas went into a full-blown PTSD episode, he lost all ability to control himself.
37:21I held him tight, whispering reassurances in his ear over and over, fighting like hell to pull him back from
37:26that bloody childhood hallucination.
37:28It wasn't until the sun completely sank below the horizon that his violently shaking body finally started to calm down.
37:32I'm so sorry. I messed up. I made you worry.
37:35Taking a trip with me is just an absolute disaster, isn't it?
37:38No, it's not that bad.
37:39I looked at the photos from your trip to Arizona, and in those pictures, your smile was so full of
37:43life, but after you came back to our so-called home, you never smiled like that again.
37:47I wanted to see you smile, so I forced you to come on this trip, but through my camera lens,
37:54your eyes looked dead.
37:56You looked nothing like the radiant girl in those stranger's phones.
38:00When you were riding the horse just now, I tried so hard, and I finally got one shot I was
38:03satisfied with, but I took exactly one fucking photo before I had an episode.
38:07Serena, I'm a piece of trash. I'm so damn useless.
38:09Chained to me, you have to be on edge even on a vacation. You don't even get to relax for
38:13a single second.
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