- 2 days ago
My Love Touches the Divine
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12I'm sorry, Mother. I still cannot hold the Trident.
00:19Do not despair, my son. You know the ancient law.
00:23The Relic will not answer until you unite with your destined love.
00:27It is the only way to unlock your full power.
00:31You must journey to the mortal realm and find her.
00:35Hear me, Poseidon. Among all your siblings, you alone remain unchosen by the Trident.
00:40It shall be done, Mother. I will not fail you.
01:17If a little dirt and rags repel them, they certainly don't deserve to be my destined mate.
01:31Jennifer, you're nothing but a blood-sucking leet.
01:34You ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll throw your ass straight back into that rat-infested teller.
01:42But, Father, I can't marry Paul. The guy is knocking on Seventy's door. He can't even stomach a boat ride
01:47anymore.
01:48I can earn that hundred gold pieces myself. Just cut me some slack.
01:51You don't get to call the shots here. You should be kissing Mr. Paul's feet for even looking at you.
01:57Your only job is keeping him happy. Don't make him regret dropping a hundred gold balls on you.
02:03Ah, Jen, Daddy picked out a fiancé for me, too. We're in the same boat.
02:08I'm sure Mr. Paul will treat you like royalty, just like my Ryan treats you.
02:11Are you kidding me? You're marrying a young, gorgeous guy and being pawned off to a seventy-year-old geese
02:15with one foot in the grave
02:16and as his side piece, not his wife! It's not the same, Michelle!
02:21Shut your damn mouth, you ungrateful bitch!
02:24I've already pocketed Paul's gold. He's throwing in two ships once you're delivered.
02:27Like it or not, you are warming his bed tonight.
02:31If you actually force me into this, I swear to God I'll run off and become a nun.
02:36I'll pray every single day for the Almighty to punish you. You will rot in hell!
02:42Fine, Jennifer!
02:44You want to play hardball? I'll give you one last choice.
02:48If you're too good for Mr. Paul, then you can marry this stinking beggar right here, right now!
03:07Fine! Bring it on! I'll marry the beggar today!
03:14Hey, you pathetic piece of trash.
03:16Let's be real. You were destined to die alone in a gutter.
03:19But today's your lucky day. You won't say no to a free wife, right?
03:33Wait, she didn't even flinch at the sight of me? Looks like this mortal is built different.
03:39Yeah.
03:43I'd be absolutely honored to take her as my wife.
03:58Holy crap! I can't believe Mason actually pawned his own daughter off to that bottom-feeling tram.
04:02Jesus, look at the guy. He couldn't rub two pennies together if his life depended on it.
04:05Jennifer's in for a world of hurt.
04:10Father never gave a damn about me.
04:12He's a cold-blooded snake who only cares about my price tag.
04:17I'd rather tie the knot with a street rat than be auctioned off like meat.
04:21I am so done with this toxic hellhole.
04:26Hear what they're whispering, Jennifer?
04:28If my beggar routine gross you out, you can still walk away.
04:34No way.
04:35You might think I'm crazy, but...
04:38to me, you're a literal godsend.
04:43Let's get out of here, honey.
04:44I mean my dear husband.
04:56I'm sorry, Jennifer.
04:58What you see is what you get.
04:59No cozy honeymoon suite tonight.
05:01Just this beat-up, drafty old fishing boat.
05:03Hey, cut that out.
05:04We're hitched now, and I'm not looking down on you.
05:06For better or worse, we're in this ride together.
05:11We'll see you next time.
05:13Oh, my God.
05:26I'm sorry.
05:30I'm sorry.
05:41Oh my god, what the hell just happened?
05:44Where did this insane crystal palaces come from?
05:54Don't sweat the details right now.
06:02Jennifer, my sweet, it's still our wedding night.
06:05Are you ready to give yourself to me?
06:10Absolutely.
06:12Like I said, we're husband and wife now.
06:19Trust me, I'm going to make you the happiest woman on the planet.
06:45I'm going to make you the happiest man.
06:56Sorry to crash the party, but Zeus is stuck in the Divine Lambrinth.
06:59The All-Mother needs you for a rescue-op stat!
07:10Sweetheart, an emergency just came up and I've gotta go.
07:13Don't panic, I'll be back in your arms in nine days tops.
07:33Mother, what the hell happened?
07:35Why do I feel like I just woke up from a century-long fever dream?
07:41Poseidon, you're finally awake!
07:44Remember that ancient curse you tripped bailing Zeus out?
07:48That's what knocked you out cold.
08:06Merciful Seas, the Trident actually accepted you?
08:10Don't tell me you finally tracked down the mortal whose head over heels for you.
08:23Spill it! Who is she?
08:26Just a regular mortal girl.
08:29But to me, she's everything.
08:32We're already married, Mother.
08:34If it weren't for that damn curse, I'd have paraded her up to Olympias ages ago.
08:39Praise the oceans!
08:41Listen to me, kiddo! Go fetch her right this second!
08:45I am literally dying to meet this girl!
08:49Say less, Mother. Consider it done.
08:52Hold on, Poseidon. There's a catch.
08:54You've been in that coma for nine whole years.
08:58Which means...
09:00That poor girl has been waiting for you for nine solid years!
09:05Are you kidding?!
09:06I ghosted Jennifer for nine fucking years?!
09:09No, this is beyond messed up. I need to get down there right now!
09:26Ugh, too basic. Go raid the Divine Vault for the Golden Apples. I need to absolutely blow this girl's mind.
09:34Actually, scratch that. I'm crashing the mortal realm to roll out the red carpet myself.
09:54It's been nine goddamn years. How much longer is it gonna take for him to show his face again?
10:00Jennifer! Why the hell is my chamber pot from yesterday still sitting there?
10:08I'm literally scrubbing the clothes you and Father just dumped on me! I'll get to it!
10:12You brainless cow! The goddamn stench ruined my dresses! I let you and your two little bastards crash here!
10:18I feed you and you can't even handle one basic chore?!
10:21Hey, back the hell off.
10:23This is my house, too.
10:27You have no right to run your mouth at me!
10:29Those brats of yours are just like you!
10:32Ungrateful, blood-sucking parasites!
10:34Mom!
10:37You know damn well the kids and I bust our asses!
10:39Look around! We're the only ones keeping this damn house from falling apart!
10:46That's because doing the grunt work is exactly what you filthy roaches were born to do!
10:52Back off! Don't you dare touch our mother!
10:59You filthy little street rat bastards!
11:01That's what you get for running your mouths at Lady Jessica!
11:04You freaks should have been chucked in the ocean at birth!
11:07Strip them, douse them in ice water and lock them in the stables!
11:10Sneak them a single crumb and they'll be hell to pay!
11:15Chill, Mum.
11:16Don't forget Ryan's chauffeuring us to the Temple of Poseidus.
11:19Just make these useless peasants haul the offerings.
11:22Shake a leg and get in the damn carriage!
11:24We can't keep my big-shot son-in-law waiting!
11:45This is seriously creeping me out!
11:47Why does this temple feel so warm and familiar?
11:56Wait, that era!
11:58The bloodline of the Sea God?
12:00How the hell did it end up here?
12:07Oh, almighty Lord of the Sea, we offer these tributes with the purest intentions.
12:13Bless our merchant fleets and bring us great fortune.
12:17Stop standing around like idiots!
12:19Your only job right now is to pray to the Sea God to protect Ryan's fleet!
12:24Honestly, letting gutter trash like you even breathe in the direction of the Sea God is a massive privilege.
12:29Keep dragging your feet and I'll assume you're itching for the stables!
12:34Maybe if I pray to the statue it'll actually bring my husband back safely.
12:41No! Stop!
12:43We cannot bear the worship of the heirs of the Sea God!
12:49Oh, great Sea God, please just let my husband come home soon.
12:52Oh, great Sea God, please just let our dad come home safely.
13:04Oh, great Sea God!
13:11No, no, no, no!
13:21I'll see you a guy!
13:24No, no!
13:30Somebody seriously pissed off the Sea God
13:33His rage just blew those statues to smithogreens
13:43If the Sea God is throwing a tantrum
13:45Anyone who makes a dime off the ocean is screwed
13:50God damn it
13:51Who has the absolute stones to piss off the Sea God
13:54If the ocean slaps a curse on us
13:56Our entire cash flow goes down the toilet
13:59Listen up people
14:00It has to be them
14:01Their filthy bastard bloodline completely rash the temple's vibe
14:05So it was you three little rats
14:07Growl for forgiveness right this minute
14:09Or I swear to God your lives are going to be a waking nightmare
14:15Son of a bitch
14:17How dare they treat the airs to the sea like garbage
14:19We're stuck in phantom mode and can't do shit
14:22Keto, ping Lord Poseidon right now
14:26No
14:26My kid's blood isn't filthy
14:28We literally haven't done a single thing wrong
14:30So why the hell would the Sea God be pissed at us
14:33This is absolute bullshit
14:34Shut your mouth peasant
14:35Grab them, burn them at the stake
14:38The only way to calm the Sea God's rage
14:40Is absolute agony
15:02Holy crap, it's Lord Poseidon
15:08Stand down
15:19Hold up, did anyone else just hear that?
15:23Damn it, we're too far
15:25Poseidon can't manifest here
15:26Just hang on a little longer
15:28My lady, little ones
15:29You gotta believe me
15:30He's coming
15:32Burning the main enough for the Sea God
15:35He's sending us a sign
15:38Father, word is the Sea God skins traitors alive
15:41Packs their raw flesh with boiling sand and crushed shells
15:44Turning them into gravel to walk on for eternity
15:47Father, my kids and I are innocent
15:50The real sinners are these sick freaks
15:52Putting their hands on children
15:53Oh, so the Sea God's pissed at us?
15:56His biggest believers?
15:57Bullshit!
15:58I dump cash and prayers on his altar every year
16:00While you, you filthy peasant
16:01Ain't cocked up shit
16:02Zip it, Jennifer
16:03You're a completely lost Oz
16:08Mom! Mom!
16:14Look, Jen
16:15I didn't want to get my hands dirty
16:17But you brought the Sea God's haul down on us
16:19Skinning you alive
16:21Is the only way we're buying our ticket out of this
16:25Back off, you ugly witch
16:27Don't you dare lay a finger on our mom
16:36You little maggots
16:38This is what happens when you piss off the Sea God
16:42You're not dragging our whole family to hell with you
16:52You dirty little bastards
16:56Don't think for a second you're dragging us down with you
17:00No, Michelle, let go of my kids
17:04It's my kid
17:05I'll take the hit
17:06Just don't touch them
17:10Jennifer
17:11This is your goddamn fault
17:13If you hadn't hitched your wagon to that filthy street rat
17:16And pout these bastards
17:17We wouldn't be in this mess
17:19No, put this all on me
17:21Chris and Sophia are good kids
17:24They're your own flesh and blood
17:26For God's sake
17:27You can't do this
17:28Get the hell off me
17:30I don't have any filthy grandchildren
17:31What the hell are you brain-dead idiots waiting for?
17:34Skin them alive already
17:41These mortals
17:43No
17:44These monsters
17:45How dare they stoop this low
17:51Screw it
17:51I'm taking my true form to save the heirs
18:00Thomas, stop
18:01You know the rules
18:03If you manifest in the mortal realm
18:05You break the law of fate
18:06You'll be wiped from existence
18:14Get your filthy hands off my kids
18:25Do it like this
18:26Put your backs into it
18:27If you let these little rats slip
18:29Because you grew a conscience
18:31I'll sell your asses to the galleys
18:38I can't stomach this anymore
18:40Even if it vaporizes my soul
18:42I am saving those heirs
18:48Wait, Samus
18:50I feel the power of the sea god
19:09Back the hell off!
19:19Look
19:21It's Lord Poseidon's
19:23The boss is actually back
19:28Jennifer, sweetheart
19:29I'm here
19:30I am so sorry
19:31I let you go through this hell
19:32It's really you?
19:34Thank God
19:35He actually brought you back to me
19:37Look
19:38This is Chris
19:39And Sophia
19:41Our kids
19:43Dad
19:44We totally knew it was you
19:46You actually came back
19:48What in the hell just happened?
19:51Jesus
19:51How'd I end up eating dirt?
19:54Father
19:54Forget that look over there
19:56That filthy beggar is back
19:58Talk
20:00Right now
20:01Who did this?
20:03Which one of you sick freaks
20:04Had the balls to touch
20:05Jennifer and my kids?
20:07You don't get to question us
20:08Jennifer and your two little roaches
20:10Pissed off the sea god
20:12They brought this shit storm on us
20:14As their father
20:15You should be paying for their sins
20:16With your life
20:18Almighty sea god
20:19Please forgive us
20:20These four impure wretches
20:22Aren't part of our family
20:23Don't lump us in with their sins
20:25I'll skin them
20:26And burn them alive
20:27Right now
20:27To appease your rage
20:35You absolute clowns
20:37You keep running your mouths
20:39About my family
20:40Pissing off the sea god
20:41Without realizing I am the sea god
20:44Pissing off the sea god
21:00Holy crap
21:01He really is the sea god
21:03Oh great sea god
21:04Please forgive us
21:05Mason and his screwed up family
21:07Pulled the strings
21:08We're innocent
21:09Don't buy his bullshit
21:10Open your eyes
21:11It's just a cheap dark magic trick
21:14If the real sea god was here
21:15We'd all be dead meat
21:17He actually has the balls
21:19To impersonate the sea god
21:20If the real god finds out
21:22We worship the damn warlock
21:23We're cooked
21:24We gotta skin this freak
21:25And his family alive
21:26Before anyone finds out
21:28You arrogant
21:30Braindest mortals
21:31You tortured my wife
21:33And kids
21:34So now
21:35I'm thing terive
21:36I'm bringing down
21:37The ocean's wrath
21:38I'll give you a front row seat
21:41To exactly who you're messing with
21:49No freaking way
21:50Is this filthy beggar
21:52Actually the sea god?
22:02Look at that
22:03I totally called it
22:05This filthy street rat
22:07Is a complete fraud
22:16What the hell is happening
22:17To my hand?
22:34Wait
22:35Why did the sea god statue
22:37Just blow to pieces?
22:39You brain dead idiots
22:40The real sea god is pissed
22:42Because this peasant
22:43Is playing dress up with his name
22:45Help me pin this bastard down
22:47And finish him
22:48Step on it
22:49If we don't string them up
22:51Right now
22:51The sea god is gonna
22:52Wipe us off the map
22:53The ocean will swallow us whole
22:55Freeze
22:57Look
22:57He's running on fumes
22:59Now's our window
23:00To take this warwick out
23:02What the hell is going on?
23:05Enough
23:06I'll let it slide
23:07You got played earlier
23:08But from this second on
23:09If you touch my wife and kids
23:11I'll rain literal hellfire on you
23:14You gullible morons
23:16Everyone knows
23:17Jennifer hitched a beggar
23:19Nine years ago
23:20Like the sea dotted
23:22Would moo light as a tramp
23:23Like he'd knock up
23:25A slut like Jennifer
23:26And just poop into thin air
23:27I bet my bottom dollar
23:29This rat spent the last nine years
23:31Grinding dark magic
23:35Damn straight
23:36A true god is untouchable
23:39You hack this warlock to pieces
23:42And I'll toss you ten gold coins
23:46Right here
23:47Right now
24:01Un-freaking-believable
24:03The guy's literally made of steel
24:10Almighty sea god
24:12Please forgive your cluteless blind believers
24:15You unrepentant mortals
24:17You actually tried to weaponize
24:20My own followers against me
24:22You vicious brain dead clowns
24:26Time to face the music
24:31Holy crap
24:33He really is the sea god
24:34We are dead meat
24:40What just happened?
24:41Why am I running on empty?
24:42No
24:42The coma
24:44I burned through all my divine mocha
24:46Fighting off that damn curse
24:47For nine years
24:51This damn sorcerer is gaslighting us
24:53With illusion
24:54We need to get the high priest
24:55Down here to wreck him
24:57You absolute idiots
24:59Do you seriously think this washed up bum
25:01Is the sea god?
25:03He's just a wicked warlock
25:05If he was actually Poseidon
25:07He wouldn't be this pathetic
25:09It's an ancient curse
25:10I tank my powers fighting it off
25:13That's why I'm weakened
25:14You brain dead sheep
25:16Only morons swallow a lie that pathetic
25:18Anyone who sides with this warlock
25:21Has catch hell
25:21When the real god finds out
25:31Shut the hell up
25:32Who's got the nerve to impersonate the sea god under my roof?
25:43A little birdie told me some crackpop in here
25:46Is parading around calling himself the sea god
25:50Your holiness
25:51It's this wicked warlock
25:52He's using dark magic to fake being the sea god
25:54And scam our tributes
25:55High priest
25:56You're the only hotline to the sea god
25:59If he was really coming down
26:00He'd have given you a heads up
26:08I haven't heard a damn thing thing about the sea god coming down
26:12You're just some two-bit sorcerer
26:13Using cheap magic to play god
26:17The high priest is his top servant
26:20This guy really is just a fraud
26:22Putting on a cheap magic act
26:24Make him pay!
26:29Thank god for the high priest
26:30We almost bought the scam
26:33The sea god would have been pissed
26:35And we'd be dead meat
26:40What a joke
26:41I don't have some mortal messenger down here
26:44He's full of shit
26:45You arrogant little speck
26:47Did you really think you could hijack my name
26:49Without facing my wrath?
26:50You son of a bitch!
26:52How dare you slander me!
26:54I'm tossing your ass in the dungeon
26:55And executing you myself!
27:19Holy crap!
27:20What's happening?
27:21The high priest just got zapped by lightning
27:23Is that guy actually the sea god?
27:29Bullshit!
27:31Impossible!
27:32Yeah, that was the sea god's wrath
27:34Warning me!
27:35Because you spinless cowards are dragging your feet
27:39Letting this goddamn warlock run free in his temple
27:43Oh, it was his wrath, alright
27:45But who do you think called it down?
27:48Listen up!
27:50Defy the sea god
27:51And you'll get worse than lightning
27:53He'll unleash a tidal wave
27:56And wash every last traitor straight to hell
28:10Ignorant sheep
28:25No freaking way
28:34No freaking way
28:38Even running on a fraction of my power
28:40You bottom feeders couldn't lay a finger on my family
28:46Guys, listen
28:47There is zero chance he's the sea god
28:49Since when does a god fall for a random munal?
28:51It's a joke
28:52He's a cheap warlock
28:54Hold the line!
28:55Did you idiots forget his orders?
28:57Want to get swallowed by a tidal wave?
28:59We're dead meat if you back down!
29:02But his voodoo is too strong!
29:05We can't even dent this freakish water wall!
29:08Bullshit!
29:09Every trick has a loophole
29:10Hurl every sharp object we've got!
29:13Something's bound to bust this cheap-ass force mailed
29:22Dad, listen
29:23You just whipped up a freaking magical shield out of thin air?
29:27Are you actually the sea god?
29:30You bet he is, sweetie
29:31Your dad would never lie to you
29:36Alright, if standard weapons can't cut through this voodoo
29:39It's time to bring out the big gun
29:44Watch and weep, warlock!
29:46I don't care how strong your mojo is
29:49It ain't surviving the sea god's anchor!
29:57Try to shield, Genefee!
30:10Try to shield, Genefee!
30:23Are you kidding me?
30:25How did the sea god's anchor snap like a twig?
30:27Who the hell are you?
30:31I warned you, be absolute fools!
30:33Open your damn eyes!
30:35This is the trident, the ultimate symbol of the ocean
30:38And I am its master
30:40Poseidon, the sea god
30:43The sea god?
30:44He actually is the sea god
30:46Sweet Jesus, what the hell have I done?
30:50You've hijacked my name to scam my believers for years
30:54Just to line your own pockets
30:56That is an unforgivable sin
31:05No, almighty sea god!
31:07Mercy!
31:08William brain-matched us
31:09We never wanted to hurt your family
31:12Lord, please spare us
31:15Jennifer, these monsters put you and the kids through absolute hell
31:20It's your call
31:21How do you want me to finish them?
31:23No!
31:24Jennifer!
31:25My precious daughter, don't do this!
31:27You know me, I would never truly hurt you!
31:29Okay, I screwed up, I admit it
31:31But I see the light now
31:32We share the same blood
31:34We're family!
31:35Please, Jennifer
31:36Don't let him wipe us off the map over a grudge
31:39Think of the kids!
31:41Exactly!
31:42Jennifer, my sweet sister
31:44We share the same blood
31:46I swear to god
31:47I'll never pull this shit again
31:50Please, get us a break
31:55Honey, I'm not a monster like them
31:57They still share blood with our kids
32:00I won't plant that toxic seed of hatred in Chris and Sophia's heads
32:04Let's just walk away
32:06I just want a peaceful life
32:29Well, look at you, gorgeous!
32:33You must be my boy Poseidon's wife
32:35Absolutely stunning
32:49Mother
32:49Oh my goodness!
32:51And who are these two adorable little monkeys?
32:57Mother, these are the kids Jennifer gave me
32:59Pretty cute, right?
33:02Grandma!
33:03Grandma!
33:05Are you kidding me?
33:07Nobody told me I hit the absolute jackpot!
33:13I packed way too light
33:14But don't worry, darlings
33:16Grandma's gonna spoil you rotten once we get home
33:23What the actual hell?
33:26I've never seen this much gold
33:30One single gem off those chests could buy out our entire fleet
33:39Come along, my precious grandbabies
33:42Let Grandma show you how we do real gifts
34:05Take a look, kiddos
34:07A little welcome gift from Grandma
34:10What do you think?
34:11We'd love anything you give us, Grandma
34:14But there's literally nothing here
34:16Ha ha ha ha ha
34:37Whoa, this is freaking awesome!
34:45Oh, it melts my heart to see you love it
34:48Thanks a million, Grandma!
34:50Jennifer, my dear
34:51Slap on this pearl necklace and you'll literally never age
34:55This bracelet makes you bulletproof to disease
34:57And this ring?
34:58Calls down lightning on demand
35:00Just a little welcome to the family starter pack
35:03No way, Mother!
35:04These are priceless
35:05I can't accept them
35:09Oh my God!
35:10I am so, so sorry!
35:11I swear it slipped!
35:12Jessica used to beat me black and blue just for breaking a cheap bowl
35:15Now I've shattered something priceless from the sea god's mother
35:18She's gonna skin me alive
35:20Hey, deep breaths, Jennifer
35:23Relax
35:24Remember, Mother gave those to you
35:25They're yours now
35:26You can smash every last one of them if it makes you happy
35:33Oh, sweetheart, no!
35:35This is 100% on me
35:36I totally forgot that necklace is so packed with magic
35:39It shatters on impact
35:41I can't believe I almost gave you a heart attack
35:43Bad, Grandma
35:44Jennifer, honey
35:45Stop walking on eggshells
35:47Chuck this bling at the wall for fun
35:49Break it all!
35:49Bring fresh batches until you realize you're one of us
35:53Thank you, Mother
35:55Hold on, Poseidon
35:56Where's your gift?
35:57This poor girl went through nine years of hell because you face-planted into a coma
36:01Treat her like royalty
36:02Or I'll personally kick your ass to the curb
36:04Mother, chill!
36:06I already hooked Jennifer up with a massive gift back at my palace
36:09I just didn't bring it because I was rushing to save her
36:13I'll grab it the second we can't breath her, babe
36:18Hold the phone
36:19I brought a little something for my new sister-in-law, too
36:27Look, I'm really sorry, Jennifer
36:29This whole disaster is basically my fault
36:31You and the kids got dragged through the mud because of me
36:34Consider this a my bad care package
36:36A massive dose of raw divine power
36:38Zeus, you absolute meathead
36:40Did you completely forget?
36:41Jennifer is still 100% human
36:44Her mortal body can't tank raw divine power yet
36:46Ah, crap
36:48My bad, Jennifer
36:49I totally dropped the ball on that one
36:52Brain frat
36:52Hand it over
36:55I'll just convert your raw power into a mountain of jewelry for Jennifer to make up for your screw-up
37:01Jennifer, our wedding down here was pretty bearspone and my family missed it
37:05Let's do a massive blowout
37:06Invite the whole pantheon to shower you and the kids with blessings
37:10Sorry, honey
37:10Can we skip the blowout?
37:12Chris, Sophia, and I are literally nobodies
37:14We'd stick out like Sarethees partying with actual gods
37:18I'm just really freaked out
37:19Are they gonna act like Aunt Michelle and beat us up for being trash?
37:23We don't need them
37:25Just you and dad is enough
37:29My poor sweet babies, you've been through the wrencher
37:32Listen to grandma, okay?
37:34That nightmare is over
37:35None of my kids are toxic snobs like that
37:37They'll treat you like absolute royalty
37:39Damn right
37:39I guarantee they'll welcome you with open arms
37:42And if you're still spooked
37:43I swear on my life
37:45As long as I'm breathing
37:46Nobody lays a finger on you
37:47Okay, Besteiden
37:48I trust you
37:59The wedding dress is the main event
38:01And these mortal rags are tragically basic
38:05Even top-tier royal outfits aren't good enough for our Jennifer
38:14Grandma, I brought the wardrobe
38:23Jennifer, go nuts
38:25Pick out absolutely anything you want
38:28Up here, we use magic power like cash
38:32And Zeus' apology fund is basically a bottomless black card
38:36Unreal
38:39It's so insanely soft
38:42I've been stuck in patched up potato sacks my whole life
38:45I'm actually allowed to wear this?
38:51Obviously
38:52But Zeus specifically ordered that your actual wedding outfits be custom made by yours truly
39:02Hey Jennifer, look at me
39:04By the almighty ocean
39:06My beautiful wife, how did you get so breathtakingly gorgeous?
39:10Mom, you look insanely pretty
39:11I had zero clue you were this stunning, Jennifer
39:14And your kids are adorable
39:15Look, I whipped up 200 everyday outfits on the fly
39:18Just rock these around the palace
39:20This is just...
39:21Thank you so, so much
39:22We absolutely love it
39:26Don't mention it
39:27But hey, Grandma
39:28Jennifer and the kids are practically skin and bones
39:30We need to put some meat on them
39:32Hestia's actually been cooking up a storm
39:34Pretty sure she's en route with a massive feast
39:37Just for Jennifer and the kids
39:38She even called dibs on catering the wedding
39:40You guys seriously don't have to go all out for me like this
39:43This is way too much
39:44Jennifer, you've raised two kids solo
39:46While getting stomped on by monsters
39:48Listen to me
39:49You need to seriously carb load
39:51Damn right
39:51Your health is the only thing I care about
39:53Don't fight us
39:54Just be a good girl
39:55And eat up
40:02Hey there, Jennifer
40:03Come on over
40:04Dig in and let me know
40:05What hits the spot
40:15Awesome
40:16I didn't even know
40:17Food could taste this freaking good
40:24Come on Jennifer
40:25Let your husband pamper you for a second
40:26Say ah
40:45Hope you like the setup, babe
40:46Mother went totally overboard
40:48If you hate any of it
40:49Just say the word
40:50I'll tear it down and start from scratch
40:51No sweat
40:52Oh, don't even worry about it, honey
40:54I'm obsessed with it
40:57Jennifer
41:00Mother's got Chris and Sophia for the night
41:02So we've got the place to ourselves
41:03What do you say we go for baby number three?
41:06Oh, honey, no
41:09Three kids?
41:10I'd lose my mind trying to handle all of them
41:12Babe, you're married to the sea god
41:14Even if we're swamped
41:15My mom and siblings are right next door
41:17Our kids will never be alone
41:21Plus, my niece is literally the goddess of childbirth
41:24I'd put her on speed dial
41:25You wouldn't feel a thing
41:27All right, all right
41:29You're the boss
41:48God, Jennifer
41:50You're just as breathtaking as the day we married
42:02Grandma, where's mom?
42:04She's the VIP today
42:06Why is she MIA?
42:08Hold on a minute, kiddo
42:10Let's go track down your dad and figure this out
42:15Hey, Pestiden
42:16Why the holdup with Jennifer?
42:18Did we hit a snag?
42:20Well, Jennifer and I didn't get any sleep until the sun came up
42:24She's dead to the world
42:25So I figured I'd let her rest
42:26I just slipped out
42:28Freaking believable
42:29The wedding is literally about to start
42:31Could you really not keep it in your pants for one night?
42:34All right, Mother, chill
42:34I'm going to get her right now
42:45Holy crap, Poseidon actually let me sleep in?
42:47It's our damn wedding day
42:48I'm going to be so late
42:49I've got to sprint
42:57Mother playing favorites, as always
43:01Giving a punk like Poseidon a palace this sick
43:16I'm real
43:18What's an absolute dime like you doing hiding out in a place like this?
43:23Hey, gorgeous
43:25Hades, god of the underworld
43:26Ditch the snooze fest and come be my queen
43:29Yeah, hard pass
43:30Not interested
43:37Cute
43:38But that's not really your call to make, sweetheart
43:48Back off
43:59Hades, what the hell do you think you're doing?
44:06Well, color me shocked
44:08Who'd have guessed a stunner like this was hitched to a meathead like you?
44:12You
44:17Hades, if we didn't share a mother, I'd gut you where you stand
44:26What the hell is going on here?
44:30Hades, how did I race such a scumbag?
44:33Apologize to Jennifer
44:35Right now
44:36My bad, Jennifer
44:38Didn't know who you were
44:39Take half my divine power as a peace offering
44:41It'll make you completely immortal
44:43Just let it slide, mother
44:45The wedding's starting
44:46Let's not waste another second on this creep
44:56In the name of the sea god
44:58I swear Jennifer is my one and only wife
45:01From this day forward
45:02She shares the full power of the ocean with me
45:05I swear on my life to be completely faithful to Poseidon
45:09Until my last breath
45:21Mom and dad are going to live happily ever after with us
45:40Grandma, mom only wakes up on time when we're around
45:43We want to have a sleepover with mom
45:49All right, my sweet little angels, let it go
45:51Your dad's got your mom on lockdown tonight
46:02Honey, thank you for giving me such a warm, happy home
46:05This place is everything I've ever dreamed of
46:12If you know love it here, we'll just put down roots
46:16Honestly, the only things worth a damn back at my palace are your gifts anyway
46:20I'll swing by and haul them over tomorrow
46:34I won't break my promise this time, I swear
46:37Three days tops
46:40And this little toy boat
46:42If you run into trouble
46:43Just crush it and I'll be there in a heartbeat
46:54And this barrier
46:56Unless you say so
46:58It'll bounce every single person trying to get in
47:03Stay safe out there, honey
47:07Dad, hurry back so we can play
47:25This is it
47:26Look at this place
47:28Hades better not be playing us
47:30He swore if we pull this off
47:32He'd bring our family's empire back from the dead
47:36Hell no, he wouldn't
47:37He's the god of the underworld
47:41The sea god basically nuked our family
47:43Lord Hades is our only lifeline
47:53Over here!
47:55Bet you can't catch us
47:56Chris, Sophia, slow down
47:59You're gonna eat dirt
48:00We don't care if we get hurt
48:02When dad gets back
48:03He can patch us up in seconds
48:08Yu-ho, Jennifer
48:10Come look who's here
48:12Why the hell is the door locked?
48:15We're your flesh and blood
48:17Don't tell me you got amnesia already
48:20Nice try, but that ain't happening
48:26Son of a bitch
48:28Hades called it
48:29The sea god rigged this place with a force field
48:32Our only play is to guilt-track Jennifer into opening the damn door
48:36Jennifer, I know you're listening
48:38Are you brain dead?
48:41We put a roof over your head when you had nothing
48:45Now we're homeless
48:47You owe us
48:55Cut the crap
48:56You made my life a living hell back then
48:58Don't act like you did me a favor
49:01Jennifer, I'm your own flesh and blood
49:04Are you just gonna watch me get hunted down every day?
49:09Your husband is the freaking sea god
49:11A few table grafts could save our family
49:14Yeah, Jennifer
49:15Just bail us out this once
49:18Consider it rent for housing you
49:21We swear we'll never bother you again
49:25Get a grip, Jennifer
49:27Stop giving them handouts
49:31But if a little cash gets rid of these leeches for good, maybe it's worth it
49:40You better keep your word
49:41Take the money and don't ever show your faces around here again
49:49Are you really that dense, Jennifer?
49:52I've literally never played it straight with you
50:05Jennifer, those goddamn merchants are psychos
50:09They robbed us blind, took your gold, and now they want us dead
50:13Please, open the damn door
50:15Jennifer, they only went psycho because you're the sea god's wife
50:19This is 100% on you
50:21You can't leave us out here to get butchered
50:27I'm dead serious, Jennifer
50:29The merchant and his goons are right on our ass
50:32If you don't let us in, you're signing our death warrants
50:35Jennifer, you really gonna watch your father get slaughtered?
50:37Make your mother a widow?
50:39If word gets out she raised a heartless monster
50:41Society will destroy her
51:04How'd you score a pad like this anyway?
51:07Get off your ass and hand this house over to us
51:09We gave you a place to crash
51:11Now you owe us a house
51:13Do I seriously have to cry for Poseidon to bail me out again?
51:18No, I can't keep dragging him into my messes
51:28Unreal! Look at this motherlod!
51:30Father could hustle his whole life and never see this kind of cash
51:35Trash like Jennifer doesn't deserve this
51:37We do!
51:42Check out this palace
51:44The bling is nice, but the real estate is the real jackpot
51:46We gotta get our names on that deed
51:48You brain-dead idiots!
51:50Did you forget Hades' orders?
51:51Move your asses!
51:53Chuck that bitch Jennifer out onto the street!
51:58Right!
51:58Lord Hades promised us a mountain of cash if we pull this off
52:01What the heck do you think you're doing?
52:03When dad finds out he's gonna wipe the floor with you
52:06Yeah!
52:07You stupid jerks
52:09If you touch mom, dad is gonna destroy you
52:13Give me a break
52:15How's the sea god gonna react when he finds out his precious wife banged his own brother?
52:19He'll either boot her
52:20Or drown her ass
52:25No! Father, why are you doing this to me?
52:29No!
52:40Father, why are you doing this to me?
52:45Not bad at all. Like we agree. I'm gonna reward you freaks very handsome.
52:51You're the best Lord Hades! Thank you!
52:56Get your hands off her!
53:05Get your hands off her!
53:21I gave you your chance, Hades
53:28Jennifer
53:30You were in real danger
53:31Why didn't you call me?
53:34Honey, I'm so sorry
53:36I just didn't want to dump another mess on your plate
53:38I'm just a useless mortal
53:40I can't keep dragging you down
53:44Look at me, babe
53:44We're married
53:46Nothing in this universe matters more than you
53:49I already missed nine years
53:55Come hell or high water, you're never facing anything alone again
54:02I get it, honey
54:03I promise
54:13And as for these psychos
54:15They've crossed the line too many times
54:18Even if you want to give them a pass
54:20I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them
54:29Almighty Sea God, please! You've got it all wrong!
54:33We only broke in because we caught Jennifer, that absolute slut, hooking up with another guy!
54:39We were protecting your honor!
54:41Exactly! If we hadn't showed up, she'd be all over some other dude!
54:45Honestly, you should be thanking us!
54:47You're all sick in the head
54:49I'm gonna wipe you off the face of the earth
55:02I'm gonna wipe you off the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of
55:04the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face
55:04of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the
55:08face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of
55:11the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face
55:12of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the
55:12face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of
55:12the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face
55:13of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the
55:13face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of
55:17the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face of the face
55:31Poseidon, you gullible idiot.
55:34I pushed your buttons and you practically hand-delivered your own divine weapon to me.
55:38Did you skip Godhub 101?
55:40If a bonded weapon gets corrupted by a god on my level, the backlash tears the owner apart.
55:49Look, brother.
55:51I don't want to end you.
55:52Just hand over your sweet little wife and I'll let you walk.
56:00Come on, Jennifer.
56:02Doesn't it tear you apart watching him squirm like a bug?
56:07Poseidon, please, get up!
56:09Jennifer, get over here.
56:10Give yourself to me and I'll pull the plug on his torture.
56:15Don't listen to him, Jennifer.
56:19Get over here, Jennifer!
56:20Or I swear, I'm going to erase Poseidon from existence right now!
56:27Don't!
56:28Jennifer, listen to me!
56:30If you don't want to watch his brain melt into pudding, get over here!
56:34Right now!
56:36Please, just stop hurting Poseidon!
56:42I'll do it!
56:44I agree to whatever you want.
56:48Poseidon, please take good care of our kids and my mother.
57:08You lay a finger on my woman, Hades, and I will show you exactly what a blood debt looks like.
57:15I'll see you next week!
57:17I'm done!
57:17I'm done!
57:18I'll see you next week!
57:18I'll see you next week!
57:18I'll see you next week!
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