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00:00:04So I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:08All right, it's about that time.
00:00:10So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:13Uh, uh...
00:00:19Yeah, him.
00:00:21Hi!
00:00:22Just play him on.
00:00:24Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:30Hey, yeah!
00:00:53You have a cute scar.
00:00:55It's just my birthmark.
00:00:58Do you want me to stop, Timmy, now?
00:01:02I don't want you to stop.
00:01:03You have a cute scar.
00:01:07Ooh.
00:01:09One day, one day.
00:01:11It's just my lifegod.
00:01:19Here we go.
00:01:22Hmm.
00:01:34Ah, I was so drunk last night.
00:01:37I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:42I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:50Happy New Year.
00:01:51Sam, it's me.
00:01:53Hey, find me the girl from last night.
00:01:55I don't care how, just do it.
00:01:58I will find you.
00:02:04Maximus, can you get married already?
00:02:07Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend.
00:02:10I need grandkids.
00:02:12I need you to...
00:02:12Message received, Mom.
00:02:14I need to go now.
00:02:15I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:45I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:47Your vest, sir.
00:02:50But first, we found her fake Christmas wife.
00:02:51She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:53Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:55And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:57We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:03:01Thanks.
00:03:01Good.
00:03:02Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:06Hi.
00:03:08One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:10And one hot chocolate.
00:03:12I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:15Now, Auntie Deborah and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:21Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:23And it's just for Christmas.
00:03:25But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:27Where's my real one?
00:03:35Uh, I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:37Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:47Danny!
00:03:48Oh, what?
00:03:56Danny!
00:03:56Oh, I'm sorry.
00:03:59I'm not your dad.
00:04:01No, I know you.
00:04:02My daddy does this handsome as I thought.
00:04:04Oh.
00:04:05Mommy, hurry.
00:04:06Your fake Christmas husband has arrived.
00:04:15I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:19He's gorgeous.
00:04:20Ugh.
00:04:26Why does it feel so familiar?
00:04:27Why does it feel so familiar here?
00:04:29She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:31Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:32You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:35So, you're my new Christmas wife.
00:04:37See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:40Hi, my name's Hyper. What's your name?
00:04:43Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:46Max, Aurelius.
00:04:47Eva.
00:04:48I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:53I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:55I guess mom gets her grandkid too.
00:04:59So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:05$1,000 an hour?
00:05:06Well, yeah.
00:05:08It's $500 a day.
00:05:10Is that enough?
00:05:12That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:13Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:15That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:17You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:19Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:21Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown,
00:05:24and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:27And then my family will get off my back,
00:05:29so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:33So she's getting pressure from her folks too.
00:05:36Fine.
00:05:37But you have to help me get my mom off my case too.
00:05:42Okay.
00:05:43Deal.
00:05:46Ready to go get married?
00:05:53Okay.
00:05:56Okay.
00:06:00Wow.
00:06:02Clean up nice.
00:06:03This is my wedding day after all.
00:06:05Pictures.
00:06:09Pictures.
00:06:14Y'all guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:36I think we got it.
00:06:41Oh, I need some photos of us together too, to prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have
00:06:48a happy family.
00:06:49Yeah, of course.
00:07:00Happy holidays, Mom. From my family to you.
00:07:12Bad news, boss. The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife bailed last minute.
00:07:18Wait, she bailed? Then who is...
00:07:23Who is she?
00:07:25Whatever. It doesn't matter. I've got what I need.
00:07:31Sam, don't worry about it. I already found someone.
00:07:39Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go. Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:44Christmas shopping? I should come.
00:07:47Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake-it-to-your-family plan, I think I
00:07:51should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:53We'll make it more believable.
00:07:58Fine. Yeah, fine. Okay. You can come.
00:08:08Let's go. Which mall are we going to?
00:08:11Um, let's go to that one.
00:08:13Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:18Oh, what the actual fuck?
00:08:25Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:30Sam, get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:37She does kind of look like him.
00:08:41So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:45Oh, jeez.
00:08:47Here, let me get this.
00:08:49I'm gonna love you, Max.
00:08:52Oh, so, I was, uh, thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss.
00:09:01Once or twice. In front of them.
00:09:04Okay.
00:09:05Should we use our tongues, or?
00:09:07No, no, definitely not. And absolutely no.
00:09:10Sex?
00:09:10Yes.
00:09:13Strictly business.
00:09:15Anything physical outside of that does not have any.
00:09:18What?
00:09:19Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:22I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:28Let's go.
00:09:35Here.
00:09:36What are you doing?
00:09:38I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:41Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:48Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:5150% off pies? Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:54Twelve pumpkin pies, did I hear this right?
00:09:56They're the best kind.
00:09:57Hurry up and go, go, what are you standing here for?
00:10:02Hello there.
00:10:03Hi. You ready?
00:10:04Yes, yeah, just these things.
00:10:05Okay, great.
00:10:06We have a holiday special today.
00:10:09Spend 500, get 10% off, and you are just short 15 bucks if you want to take advantage of
00:10:14the deal.
00:10:14Oh, great, yeah. What do you have that's just 15 bucks?
00:10:18Will you get a move on?
00:10:20I just got here, relax.
00:10:23Yeah, yeah.
00:10:26Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:28Okay, thank you.
00:10:31Hurry up and pay.
00:10:35I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:36You can wait your turn.
00:10:42Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:50Oh, wait, wait, wait, not the pies, not the pies.
00:10:53You can just set those on top.
00:10:59Hi, guys.
00:11:01I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:06Of course.
00:11:08Thank you so much.
00:11:09Of course.
00:11:10I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:12She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:14Don't worry, I have enough for everybody.
00:11:15Just to give it away.
00:11:18Merry Christmas.
00:11:20Merry Christmas.
00:11:25What?
00:11:26You do that often?
00:11:28As often as I can.
00:11:33We should go.
00:11:34We gotta pick up paper.
00:11:39Watch out.
00:11:58You done feeling me up?
00:12:01Shut up.
00:12:02Oh, sorry.
00:12:03I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:04Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:12And don't be late.
00:12:24Harrison Group?
00:12:25Harrison Group?
00:12:26Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:29Sort of.
00:12:30Not that I'm judging.
00:12:31I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:36Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:39I think that's respectable.
00:12:42Can we pick another company?
00:12:44No.
00:12:45Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:46And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:48My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:49So.
00:12:50Perfect.
00:12:55Oh, and wear something nice for Christmas dinner?
00:12:59Don't worry.
00:13:00Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:13:01I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:04Too much.
00:13:26Let's go, Sam.
00:13:27It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:30Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:35It's my daughter's.
00:13:37Daughter's?
00:13:38Get me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:41That's so cute.
00:13:42My sister and Saul.
00:13:42Good luck.
00:13:44We will be so happy.
00:13:50I can accept it.
00:13:55Hey, there they are!
00:13:57Yay!
00:13:58Nice to meet you.
00:14:00Awe!
00:14:01Dad, so happy.
00:14:03We missed you.
00:14:05So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:09He's coming.
00:14:10Please don't tell me Maximus bailed.
00:14:12Good, good, good.
00:14:14So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:18When's he arriving?
00:14:19Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:24Poor thing.
00:14:25Not surprising.
00:14:26I mean, she's 30.
00:14:28Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:31Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:37This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:41Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:46We're only worried about you.
00:14:48All these years without a husband.
00:14:50Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:52You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:55And look what happened.
00:14:57She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:15:00I'm not alone.
00:15:01Mm-hmm.
00:15:03And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:08He's a manager.
00:15:10Manager?
00:15:11Of what?
00:15:13Trash.
00:15:15Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:19You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:23Actually, he's right here.
00:15:27Oh, wow.
00:15:30He is really good looking.
00:15:33Ah, must be AI.
00:15:35Mm-hmm.
00:15:36Congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:39Fake.
00:15:40That's enough.
00:15:41She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:43Show some respect.
00:15:44Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:50him down?
00:15:51Well, guess what?
00:15:53William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:55Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:59That's half a million.
00:16:01Half a million.
00:16:02Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:06And speak of the devil.
00:16:11Willie, you made it.
00:16:23There you are.
00:16:24Oh, look at you now.
00:16:27Living the dream.
00:16:28Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:31Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal waste
00:16:35manager.
00:16:36So I'm married, huh?
00:16:38Is it serious?
00:16:41That's what marriage is.
00:16:42It's pretty serious.
00:16:44Wow.
00:16:45You must have rushed the tie the knot, huh?
00:16:48Makes sense, though.
00:16:49You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:52Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:54A bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:57Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:01That's right.
00:17:02Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:06Women love a man in red.
00:17:09Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:11Want to sit on my lap?
00:17:13Don't touch me.
00:17:14Oh, so entitled.
00:17:17Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:21And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:25I mean, look at that car.
00:17:27Could your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:30Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:34Ditch your no-body husband and marry me instead.
00:17:39I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:46My mom would never marry.
00:17:47She already has a husband.
00:17:49He's going to kick your butt.
00:17:54Is that so?
00:17:55Well, then, where is he?
00:17:58Because I don't see him.
00:18:00Does anyone see him?
00:18:03Now, just like I thought, telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:09That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:11And let me show you what happens to naughty children.
00:18:17Hey.
00:18:18Mommy.
00:18:19Hi.
00:18:19Are you okay?
00:18:20I see your hands.
00:18:21Oh, my God.
00:18:22I'm going to take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:25Come on, honey.
00:18:26Let's go.
00:18:28What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:30How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:34Let me go.
00:18:35Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:40Let me go.
00:18:55Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:19:02Max, you came.
00:19:04Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:08Where's Piper?
00:19:10William hit her?
00:19:11Mom, Dad, I'd take her inside.
00:19:13Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:16Well, well, well.
00:19:18If it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:21That's right.
00:19:23Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:27Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:30It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:31I'm Max.
00:19:32Eva told us all about you.
00:19:34From New York.
00:19:35Polite.
00:19:36Handsome.
00:19:36Just like she said.
00:19:39Wow.
00:19:40He was an AI.
00:19:42See?
00:19:42He's real.
00:19:44And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:47Son of a bitch.
00:19:48You just ruined my suit.
00:19:50And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:51That pristine automobile.
00:19:54That car?
00:19:55Oh, my God.
00:19:56That's worth more than a house.
00:19:59That car?
00:20:00It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:05Wait.
00:20:06Are you?
00:20:11Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:14And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:16I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:18You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:20You stole it.
00:20:21That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:24Jesus.
00:20:25How did he get away with it?
00:20:26That's what I want to know.
00:20:28Enough, please.
00:20:31I trust my daughter.
00:20:33She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:37Max, be honest with me.
00:20:39Where did that car come from?
00:20:41How much did you want for it?
00:20:43I'll pay you more money than you'd make it three lifetimes.
00:20:46So, you need a breath, man.
00:20:52All right, that's it.
00:20:53I'm calling the cops.
00:20:54Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:56Wait.
00:20:57What?
00:20:58Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:01Oh, well.
00:21:03Too late.
00:21:09Listen, hon.
00:21:10I believe you.
00:21:11But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:15Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:17It's my car, okay?
00:21:18It's not stolen.
00:21:20Yeah?
00:21:20If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:23Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:26Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:28Okay.
00:21:28I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:30But then you have to get lost.
00:21:31And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:34Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:37Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:39Loser.
00:21:40Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:45Jesus.
00:21:46Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:48It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:52Here.
00:21:53Title and proof of ownership.
00:22:04Mr. Harrison?
00:22:06Mr. Harrison?
00:22:09Mr. Harrison?
00:22:11Just play along.
00:22:14Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:15Now get the fuck out of here before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:19Yes, sir.
00:22:20I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:23Please, please.
00:22:23I'm just here some apologies.
00:22:34Oh, that William.
00:22:37What a jerk, huh?
00:22:39You fooled me.
00:22:40What can I say?
00:22:41Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:45Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:47Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:48No, we were just looking out for you.
00:22:51Please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:53You know my youngest son is graduating soon.
00:22:56Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:22:59A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:04We are family, aren't we?
00:23:06Family takes care of each other.
00:23:09If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone else.
00:23:13Abigail, come on, talk to her for us.
00:23:17Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:20Yeah.
00:23:21I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:23My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:26Your best life, my new son-in-law.
00:23:29Come on, guys.
00:23:30Let's go in.
00:23:31Welcome to the family.
00:23:40This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:42You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:46My fault?
00:23:47You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:24:00Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:02And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:04And how do you...
00:24:05I told you.
00:24:05I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:08I have a friend in high places.
00:24:10A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:14Yes.
00:24:15It's the season of giving.
00:24:17He knows people.
00:24:18Has connections.
00:24:20He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:22You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:24And you best not forget it, capisce?
00:24:26Oh my God, just don't blow your cover.
00:24:30Dad!
00:24:31Mom!
00:24:32Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:35Oh, honey.
00:24:35We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:42I think they get it, hon.
00:24:45Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:47Oh, she's fine.
00:24:48One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:24:52And after your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:24:57Great.
00:24:58See you in a bit, shall we?
00:25:00What are you doing?
00:25:03Okay.
00:25:05Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:10Relax.
00:25:11It was just a hug.
00:25:13Ugh.
00:25:15We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:18You'll be okay.
00:25:19It's just one week.
00:25:20Kill me now.
00:25:21Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:28What are you doing?
00:25:30That's weird.
00:25:32They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago and...
00:25:35I don't know, something just falls off.
00:25:37That's ridiculous.
00:25:39I mean, what do you want him to do?
00:25:41Make him promise to prove him?
00:25:42I don't know.
00:25:43I don't like this.
00:25:44Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
00:26:03Welcome.
00:26:05Cheers.
00:26:05Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:07Looks great.
00:26:08Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:10I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:14But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:19Oh, no.
00:26:20Mom's testing him.
00:26:21She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:23You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:30Ow.
00:26:31Eva, sweetie.
00:26:32Kicking my foot.
00:26:33Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:36Oh, jeez.
00:26:38It's okay.
00:26:39Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:26:41I would like to hear Max say it.
00:26:56Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:26:57Did I hear this right?
00:26:58They're the best kind.
00:27:01Well, of course.
00:27:02It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:04See?
00:27:05Are you happy now?
00:27:06That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:09Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:12We had a whirlwind romance, and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:18But our marriage is real.
00:27:20I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:24Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:27Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:31Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:34Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:38I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:40Well, um, it's...
00:27:43Silly face.
00:27:44Dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:46Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:49Silly face.
00:27:51I am not paying extra for this.
00:27:53Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:27:56It's beautiful.
00:27:56Wowzers.
00:27:57It's nice.
00:27:59You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:02Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:05And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:08I'll drink to that.
00:28:10I agree with you there.
00:28:11So, come on, guys.
00:28:13Let's eat.
00:28:14Come on.
00:28:26And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:29I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:32Nice and festive for you.
00:28:34No complications, right?
00:28:36Sorry, honey.
00:28:37Uh, mom, you know what?
00:28:38I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:40Oh, honey.
00:28:41Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:45Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:47The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:49Something about water conservation.
00:28:51That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:28:5315 minutes?
00:28:55Honey, it's no big deal.
00:28:56Just shower together.
00:28:59Shower together?
00:29:02Just shower together.
00:29:04Okay, you guys.
00:29:05Have a good night, okay?
00:29:10You hurt her.
00:29:32Whoa!
00:29:33Why are you stripping?
00:29:35Well, I can't take a shower with my clothes on.
00:29:38Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:40You have 15 minutes.
00:29:41Nice try.
00:29:41I am not showering with you.
00:29:43All right, suit yourself.
00:29:45All room for me in there.
00:29:46Not if I meet you there first.
00:30:04Come on, Max.
00:30:06Get out of the way.
00:30:08We agreed.
00:30:09Nothing physical.
00:30:10You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:12Relax.
00:30:13I won't touch you.
00:30:15Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:18But that'll cost extra.
00:30:29In your dreams.
00:30:31Free to join me.
00:30:52You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have any shower water left.
00:30:55You wish.
00:30:57Why aren't you getting in?
00:30:59Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:01It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:04Oh, yeah?
00:31:05True.
00:31:17Holy shit.
00:31:21Oh, this is, I'm, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:26I'll say.
00:31:27What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:30Still think you can lose this?
00:31:34Maybe.
00:31:35I don't think I want you.
00:31:41Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:45Or maybe we should.
00:31:47God, he's such a good kisser.
00:31:50Why does this feel so familiar?
00:31:58Mom, we're so sexy.
00:32:09Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:11What?
00:32:12I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:14It's not you, Max.
00:32:15It's us.
00:32:16It's this.
00:32:17This is all an act.
00:32:18Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:21You're right.
00:32:23I'm sorry.
00:32:24I just don't need to be sorry.
00:32:27Just...
00:32:35That birthmark.
00:32:41What is that?
00:32:43It's him.
00:32:44The man from New Year's.
00:32:45Is he...
00:32:46Piper's father?
00:32:50Why are you acting?
00:32:53Oh, my God.
00:32:55Max is Piper's father.
00:32:57Are you okay?
00:32:59Yeah.
00:33:00I just, um...
00:33:02I just got lightheaded.
00:33:03I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:05Alone.
00:33:07Of course.
00:33:11We have a daughter together.
00:33:13Oh, my God.
00:33:14What do I do?
00:33:21I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
00:33:23You can take the bed.
00:33:25Thanks.
00:33:28Hey.
00:33:29Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:31Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:33I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:35So if there's something you need,
00:33:37I can help.
00:33:38I want to help.
00:33:40He's Piper's father.
00:33:42He has a right to know.
00:33:44Um, Max.
00:33:47How would you feel
00:33:48if you found out you had a kid?
00:33:53A child?
00:33:55No, no, no.
00:33:56That's impossible.
00:33:57I'm very careful.
00:34:00Mostly.
00:34:02I just mean I'm not the type of guy to sleep around.
00:34:05Family to me is a big commitment,
00:34:07and I don't want any loose ends.
00:34:10You know?
00:34:11Right.
00:34:13He wouldn't want a kid tying him down.
00:34:15I shouldn't tell him about Piper.
00:34:18Why do you ask?
00:34:20No reason.
00:34:21Just curious.
00:34:22No, I feel like you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:26What?
00:34:28No.
00:34:29Well, then,
00:34:30can I ask you a question?
00:34:32Shoot.
00:34:38Where did you get these?
00:34:39And how did you know my exact size?
00:34:42I did not get those.
00:34:44I don't know where those came from.
00:34:45Are you sure you're just not trying to break the contract?
00:34:51Give me that place.
00:34:52Give me the...
00:34:53Give me the...
00:34:54Give me the...
00:34:54Woo!
00:35:04Oh, Elon, the truth is, is that I, go, go, go, go, go, just a second, come in.
00:35:16Hey, hon, oh, sorry for interrupting, but Piper is asking for a bedtime story before
00:35:24I tuck her in.
00:35:24Think you could take this one, Dad?
00:35:26We're kind of in the middle of something.
00:35:28I can see that.
00:35:30Well, why don't I read it to her?
00:35:32I mean, if you don't, if you don't mind.
00:35:34Well, atta boy.
00:35:36You know what?
00:35:36Just put a shirt on.
00:35:38I'm going to go get her.
00:35:40Piper, here comes Grandpa.
00:35:44He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the
00:35:50down of a thistle.
00:35:50But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all
00:35:59a good night.
00:36:02If Piper knew he was her real dad, she'd be over the moon.
00:36:06Good night, Piper.
00:36:11Is her dad still around?
00:36:13Yeah, but he doesn't know it, because you're her dad.
00:36:18Uh, no.
00:36:18Well, that man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:36:27Do you really think so?
00:36:29From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:32Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:33He deserves to know.
00:36:43Max, you're Piper's father.
00:36:53I'll tell you when the time's right.
00:37:18Where's Piper?
00:37:21She must have snuck off while we were asleep.
00:37:39God, he's such a good kisser.
00:37:49Just going to kiss and run?
00:37:52Not on my watch.
00:37:57Yeah, this.
00:37:59I remember this.
00:38:10Good morning, you two lovebugs.
00:38:12How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:15Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:17It was great.
00:38:19Wonderful.
00:38:20Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:24Oh, no.
00:38:25What is that?
00:38:26Sardines and saltines.
00:38:28It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:30It was my gram-grams favorite during wartime.
00:38:32Don't be shy.
00:38:33Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:36Max, you don't have to.
00:38:37No, no.
00:38:38It's okay.
00:38:39It's a Smith family staple.
00:38:43All right.
00:39:00Good?
00:39:01Mmm.
00:39:02Good?
00:39:03It's grumpy.
00:39:05Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:07You got to go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:11Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:13That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda and her brood this year.
00:39:17What's the deal with them?
00:39:19Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:21Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:26Hey, don't worry.
00:39:27I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:31Better have Sam on standby tonight, just in case.
00:39:36Well, looks like it's time to get dressed up, then.
00:39:49Wait, that earring.
00:39:52Wait, that earring.
00:39:54You like it?
00:39:55I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:39:58Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:00I don't really remember the details, but luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:07Right.
00:40:07Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:09Anyone could have it.
00:40:10Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:12She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:17So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:21But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:24What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:28An aging single mom.
00:40:30Slim pickings.
00:40:31I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:34That explains it.
00:40:35She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:40:38Oh, please, Miranda.
00:40:40Look, Ava is your niece.
00:40:42Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:40:44Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:40:47Her track record speaks for itself.
00:40:49Exactly.
00:40:50Not like my Sierra.
00:40:52Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:40:57Oh, they're here.
00:40:59Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:05Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:07Merry Christmas.
00:41:09You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:11I am.
00:41:12I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:14Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:15Welcome.
00:41:15You're Ava's husband.
00:41:18But you're gorgeous.
00:41:22But not as handsome as you.
00:41:24Look at you two.
00:41:25You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:27Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:29Merry Christmas.
00:41:30This is for Max and I.
00:41:32Oh, my goodness.
00:41:33Thank you, Ava.
00:41:34Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:36Oops.
00:41:37Oh, my bad.
00:41:38Oh, a homemade gift.
00:41:41How thrifty.
00:41:43Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:41:45Mommy's right.
00:41:46You mean all a hack?
00:41:47You little.
00:41:50You will not lay a hand on my daughter,
00:41:53or you will lose yours.
00:41:55Oh.
00:41:55You think you broke my wrist.
00:41:58Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:00My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:03He could ruin your life.
00:42:17Honey, are you okay?
00:42:18I'm fine.
00:42:19I'm just wet, huh?
00:42:20Yeah.
00:42:21It's okay.
00:42:22It's okay.
00:42:24What are you?
00:42:27Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:30Did you just slap me?
00:42:32Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:33You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:35You know what, Ciara?
00:42:36I can take your little insults,
00:42:37but leave my family out of this.
00:42:41Her family.
00:42:43She means me.
00:42:48You okay, honey?
00:42:49Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:42:52Do something.
00:42:53You don't know who you're messing with.
00:42:55I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:42:57Oh, wow.
00:42:58I'm sure the CEO would love to hear
00:43:00that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:04Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:07Let's call him.
00:43:08I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:11Please.
00:43:12Who do you think you are?
00:43:14Enough!
00:43:16There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:19Fine, Dad.
00:43:21Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:23They're just jealous.
00:43:26For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:28I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:32I think you owe me a thank you
00:43:34for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:36Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:43:37All right, that's enough.
00:43:38Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:01Is this a joke?
00:44:03Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:05Hold it.
00:44:06Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:08My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:13My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:17King crab, fresh from Alaska,
00:44:20and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:22Three times the price,
00:44:2450 times the flavor.
00:44:26And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:28It's just petty.
00:44:29Maybe so.
00:44:31But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:35Fine.
00:44:36Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:44:38Come on, let's go.
00:44:39No, no.
00:44:41Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:44:44Grandpa, I'm sorry,
00:44:45but they're treating us like...
00:44:47I know, dear.
00:44:48I just want to have our family together.
00:44:50Fine.
00:44:51We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:44:54Better a stray than a bitch.
00:44:55What was that?
00:44:59I just want to have our family together.
00:45:02Fine.
00:45:03We'll stay.
00:45:05Can I have a little napalm?
00:45:07It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:08We'll get something right after.
00:45:10Like drive-thru?
00:45:12I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:14That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:19No strays.
00:45:21Ow.
00:45:21Sweetie, sweetie, are you okay?
00:45:23Yeah, it's fine.
00:45:24You hit my child.
00:45:26You're fucking crazy!
00:45:27Well, if you'd teach her some manners,
00:45:29maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:34Don't worry, baby.
00:45:35I'll handle it.
00:45:38Don't worry, baby.
00:45:40I'll handle it.
00:45:45Piper, sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:45:51Okay, sweetheart.
00:45:53Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:45:55As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:45:58Actually, I do.
00:46:00He's such a liar.
00:46:01This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:03Oh, it will be.
00:46:07Sam.
00:46:08Yeah, send the troops and bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:12I'm already on my way.
00:46:16Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:19I'm already on my way.
00:46:22You hear this guy?
00:46:23He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:26From Antarctica.
00:46:28Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:31His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:46:34Max, what are you doing?
00:46:36Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:46:37Santa's already on his way.
00:46:38Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:46:48A helicopter?
00:46:56There's no way.
00:47:02How did you pull this off?
00:47:03Sam is like family.
00:47:05I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:06Thanks, boss.
00:47:08Boss?
00:47:09Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:11Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:14Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:18I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:21You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:24Mm-hmm.
00:47:27Come on.
00:47:29You can stop kidding around.
00:47:32If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:47:35No, I actually am the CEO.
00:47:37Come on.
00:47:38You can stop the charade.
00:47:39Okay, this is just another favor from that bigwig friend, isn't it?
00:47:42Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:47:46Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:47:58How is this possible?
00:48:00This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:07Who are you?
00:48:08I told you.
00:48:09I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:11That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:14Wait, no.
00:48:15Hold on.
00:48:17You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:22You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:24Hmm.
00:48:25Some of the small ones.
00:48:26I mean, you know that.
00:48:28You work for me.
00:48:29Oh, God.
00:48:31I insulted my own boss.
00:48:33I'm finished.
00:48:38Oh, God.
00:48:39I insulted my own boss.
00:48:41I'm finished.
00:48:43Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:48:45Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:48:47Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:48:49For tonight, your feast ends.
00:48:51And with that, your career.
00:48:54You're fired.
00:48:56Fired?
00:48:57Sam?
00:49:01Fired?
00:49:02Oh, God.
00:49:03I can't be fired.
00:49:05What?
00:49:07Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:08You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:10Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:12I'll do anything.
00:49:13Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:20And you.
00:49:22Oh, me?
00:49:24Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:26That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:27A family tradition.
00:49:29Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:32Sam?
00:49:36Will you do me the honors?
00:49:39Gladly.
00:49:43Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:49:48Father, do something.
00:49:50Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:49:52I'm leaving.
00:49:54Mm, pumpkin, my favorite.
00:50:01Come on, sweetie.
00:50:03Daddy had this crab flowing in just for you.
00:50:05Eat as much as you want.
00:50:06Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:10I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:13I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:15Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:19Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:21Just like this.
00:50:23Does he really mean that?
00:50:24Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:26I can't tell.
00:50:28And that terrifies me.
00:50:33Merry Christmas, Miss Harrison.
00:50:35I brought you a gift.
00:50:36Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:50:39Oh.
00:50:44Oh, this is wonderful.
00:50:47Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:50:50Tell me everything.
00:50:52Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal, didn't finish high school, currently works
00:50:56in retail.
00:50:57Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:01A high school dropout in the Harrison family?
00:51:06Not a chance.
00:51:10She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:14Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:15Silence.
00:51:16Get me the address where she works.
00:51:18It's Happy Heals on Broadway.
00:51:20That's nice.
00:51:21We own that one.
00:51:23Good work.
00:51:24But take off that stupid hat.
00:51:36Thanks.
00:51:37So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:51:42Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:51:45And how about you?
00:51:49Me?
00:51:51Yeah.
00:51:53Are you happy with your new husband?
00:51:58Eva.
00:52:09That birthmark.
00:52:10Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:17Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:19So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:20Uh, no feelings, no complications.
00:52:24That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:25Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:28Max.
00:52:29Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:52:32It's cold.
00:52:34Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:52:37Max.
00:52:40I need to tell you something.
00:52:43Something important.
00:52:45What's gotten into her?
00:52:47Is she hiding something?
00:52:49Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:52:52I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:52:57Piper is...
00:53:00Piper is...
00:53:01Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:04Sweetie.
00:53:05Oh my gosh.
00:53:05It's all swollen.
00:53:07Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:09Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:10Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:14Come on, Piper.
00:53:18Okay, let me see.
00:53:23I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:27But that's not true.
00:53:28You're leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:53:32Uh...
00:53:33Daddy!
00:53:34No!
00:53:35What?
00:53:41Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:53:47Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:49Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:53:51Really?
00:53:52Please stay, Daddy.
00:53:57You think you will scar?
00:54:03I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:04Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:06I have one, too.
00:54:08Dad.
00:54:10I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:12Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:15Really?
00:54:15No way.
00:54:16No.
00:54:17It was actually a cactus.
00:54:19But it's still cool.
00:54:22I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:28Piper, how long have you had that?
00:54:30My mom said I had that when I was born.
00:54:37And how old are you?
00:54:39Six.
00:54:40Six?
00:54:41That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:54:44Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:54:46Yavor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:54:49what do i even say and how do i explain it to piper sorry honey this man's your dad and
00:54:55he didn't know you existed till now um yeah can i see your hand sweetie
00:55:04eva
00:55:09okay look
00:55:10look piper is
00:55:19go on
00:55:25that must be an emergency excuse me sorry i'll take this
00:55:37wait are you okay
00:55:38yeah mommy's just realizing she's a coward i don't even have the guts to tell the truth
00:55:48why haven't you picked up my calls i'm telling you max that woman is manipulating you
00:55:54she's a high school dropout doesn't even have a decent job and she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:56:01i'm eva's husband max that man has no idea what the treasure he's missing out
00:56:11i'm sorry max you can't know piper's your daughter your mother would take her away
00:56:16after christmas it's over
00:56:20eva
00:56:22maximus are you even listening to me no mom mom listen i'm sorry okay eva's my wife and i've
00:56:29made up my mind i'm not leaving her
00:56:33eva
00:56:56eva
00:56:57oh thank you so much
00:56:59i'm just glad you're here
00:57:04oh
00:57:05wow damn these are nice
00:57:07grandpa language little ears
00:57:16piper do you want to go see your present in the other room by the train set
00:57:20here i'll go with you remember the song that we sang ready ready grandma got run over
00:57:25by a reindeer what we got guys walking home from our house christmas eve
00:57:33you never told me
00:57:37have we met before
00:57:41have we met before she's unfit to raise my granddaughter
00:57:49i don't know what you're getting at eva i have the same birthmark as piper
00:58:03i don't know what you're talking about lots of people have birthmarks they're very common
00:58:06i feel so awful but i can't lose my child no matter how i feel about him
00:58:14maybe
00:58:17are you okay
00:58:20were the clogs a bad idea
00:58:24no i'm fine um oh i almost forgot
00:58:32i got you this you got me a gift too tis the season open it
00:58:50gloves
00:58:52did you make these
00:58:55yeah i know this is a fake marriage but that's christmas
00:58:59you've already done so much for me i just wanted to do a little something for you
00:59:04how did i feel warm right yeah warm soft
00:59:14perfect
00:59:19thank you eva
00:59:21i've never gotten anything this meaningful before
00:59:25really
00:59:27yeah my mom she partied all the time and i got gifts plenty of them but
00:59:32i don't think she ever bought one herself
00:59:37nothing personal
00:59:39well you deserve it you're a good guy
00:59:44and someday you'll find someone special to spend all your christmases with
00:59:51what if that day's today
00:59:56what if i already found someone special
00:59:58right here
01:00:24Max, we can't.
01:00:27If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:00:35Come on.
01:00:36I don't want you to stop.
01:00:44No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:00:51It's true.
01:01:01I don't want you.
01:01:02I don't want you to stop.
01:01:16I don't want you to stop.
01:01:49I don't want you to stop.
01:02:13Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:18Can I still unwrap my present?
01:02:22You still haven't given me mine.
01:02:29Let me give it to you.
01:02:30I don't want you to stop.
01:02:34I don't want you to stop.
01:02:58I don't want you to stop.
01:03:14I don't want you to stop.
01:03:28You stay with us and go.
01:03:30My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:03:34Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up.
01:03:38So you keep your money and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you
01:03:46Well, there's my beautiful wife
01:03:52You okay?
01:03:56Look, we made it through Christmas
01:04:00So I think it's best we go our separate ways
01:04:04What are you talking about?
01:04:05It's over. It's not that hard to understand
01:04:12Eva, wait!
01:04:16So last night meant nothing to you?
01:04:22Well, Max, it's not real. None of it was real
01:04:27So this is just a goodbye?
01:04:30Didn't realize that was so disposable for you
01:04:33Look
01:04:36Last night
01:04:38I let my guard down
01:04:39But I'm a mother and my choices affect Piper
01:04:42And being with you can mess up everything between us
01:04:45Just tell me what you need
01:04:48I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:04:50A good father
01:04:52I don't care
01:04:52Just say the word
01:04:59You don't get it
01:05:01You don't get it
01:05:07You don't get it
01:05:09I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York
01:05:16I won't give up on us
01:05:17I won't give up on us
01:05:32Are we here?
01:05:34Yes
01:05:35As much as I don't want us to be
01:05:38We're back
01:05:42Piper, sweetie, wake up
01:05:43We're home
01:05:49How can she just walk away?
01:05:58Don't forget you have to meet my mom
01:06:00It's part of the agreement, too
01:06:02Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:05Hey, you promised
01:06:07Eva, I haven't asked you for much
01:06:08Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:12Alright, fine
01:06:14When?
01:06:16Two days
01:06:17I'll come pick you up
01:06:18No need
01:06:20Just send me the address on me either
01:06:27I know you and mommy thought
01:06:30But she still really likes you
01:06:32So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:06:35Thank you, sweetie
01:06:36If there's one thing you should know about your daddy
01:06:38I always fight for the ones I love
01:07:00Eva's meeting my mother today
01:07:02I'm waiting to finally tell her the truth
01:07:04Boss?
01:07:06Boss?
01:07:10Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry
01:07:13I need to go win back my family
01:07:16Family?
01:07:17Boss, are you okay?
01:07:18Never better
01:07:21Go get her, Max
01:07:26Give it your best smile
01:07:28Ah, there he is
01:07:30Mrs. Maximus, darling
01:07:33I have some prospects for you
01:07:35Nice high society girls from the city
01:07:40Oh
01:07:42I told you, I already found the woman I love
01:07:47Well...
01:07:51Maximus, stop this
01:07:53That evil woman is scamming you, son
01:07:57Tell me what kind of woman you want
01:07:59And I'll find you another
01:08:01You are heir to the Harrison dynasty
01:08:03No, I'm not
01:08:06Oh?
01:08:07I work in waste management
01:08:09And I'm a secret crime boss
01:08:11I'm Eva's husband
01:08:13And I'm a father
01:08:16What?
01:08:28What?
01:08:29Ah, that's her
01:08:31The woman who got my son head over heels
01:08:35Hi, welcome in
01:08:37Can I help you find something?
01:08:39I wanted to try those
01:08:44Awesome, I'll get them for you right away
01:08:47Are you?
01:08:48Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:08:53No, no, no
01:08:54I know what I want
01:08:55Size 7
01:08:58Oh, baby can't even walk
01:09:00But she wants $3,000 heels
01:09:02Come on, she wants the white shoes
01:09:09Ignore her, she's just grumpy over the holidays
01:09:12Here, let me help you
01:09:13Come on
01:09:19She...seems kind
01:09:24I shouldn't be that impressed
01:09:27She's just doing her job
01:09:30How do they feel?
01:09:31Well, I love the style
01:09:33But it's too small
01:09:34I think I need a size up
01:09:37Maybe my feet are still growing
01:09:42Right away
01:09:42I'll be right back
01:09:44She's not only kind, she's patient
01:09:47Was I wrong about her?
01:10:03Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:07Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:09She can't walk
01:10:13That's just pure evil
01:10:16Oh, come on, St. Eva
01:10:20She's in a wheelchair
01:10:21Who cares? It's the last pair
01:10:23I get paid commission
01:10:30I'm not doing that, Vanessa
01:10:33See?
01:10:35This is your whole problem
01:10:38This is why you'll always be broke
01:10:42I don't care if she can walk or not
01:10:45I'm not selling her junk
01:10:47She has to deal with people like this?
01:10:50People who insult her all day?
01:10:53I'm your manager
01:10:58Sell the old bitty the shoes
01:11:01Or you're fired
01:11:07Did I stutter?
01:11:12You don't have to fire me
01:11:16I quit
01:11:22I don't work here anymore
01:11:25Listen
01:11:26Don't buy the shoes
01:11:28They're broken
01:11:29Spend your hard-earned money elsewhere, okay?
01:11:31You're a good person, after all
01:11:34Looks like I misjudged you
01:11:37I'm sorry?
01:11:40Why are you still here, Eva?
01:11:42Get out!
01:11:47No
01:11:49You're not disabled?
01:11:50Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:11:55Absolutely shameful
01:11:56Who are you?
01:11:58I am the chairwoman
01:12:00Of the Harrison Group
01:12:02And the owner of the store
01:12:05You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:07Mother of the CEO?
01:12:09I am
01:12:09And you, my dear, are fired
01:12:13What did I do?
01:12:17You are a good person
01:12:20From now on, this store is yours to run
01:12:26Are you serious?
01:12:28That's right
01:12:30Don't be nervous, child
01:12:33You are professional
01:12:35Responsible
01:12:36Far better than that two-bit manager
01:12:42You
01:12:42Out
01:12:44I'll leave
01:12:48I'm leaving
01:12:51I...
01:12:52I feel like I'm dreaming
01:12:54No, don't worry
01:12:57You're getting a promotion
01:12:58You deserve it, my dear
01:13:02Thank you
01:13:03First assignment
01:13:05I want that row
01:13:07And that row
01:13:09And the entire display case
01:13:12Pack it all up
01:13:13And bring it to my house
01:13:16Okay, yeah
01:13:18Once we're home
01:13:19I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law
01:13:22I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter
01:13:31She's the mother of a CEO
01:13:33Of course she lives like this
01:13:45Mrs. Harrison? I'm here with your delivery
01:13:50Max?
01:13:52Eva?
01:13:53What are you doing here?
01:13:55I, uh...
01:13:56There you are, Eva
01:13:59Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly
01:14:02My new daughter-in-law
01:14:05What are you...
01:14:09That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group
01:14:14Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:14:16Stop!
01:14:18And you...
01:14:19You lied to me at the store
01:14:21Y...
01:14:22You were both just testing me?
01:14:24Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:14:26I'm sorry, Eva
01:14:27I thought you might be using my son
01:14:29Just after his money
01:14:31But I was wrong
01:14:32Eva, please...
01:14:33I don't deserve to be treated like this
01:14:35Not every working-class girl is after your money
01:14:39How could you think that of me?
01:14:41It's not like that, dear
01:14:43Eva, what are you talking about?
01:14:45Mom!
01:14:46What did you do?
01:14:48I-I was just trying to get the two of you back together
01:14:50We're not together
01:14:52And I can't love something that was never real
01:14:58I made a horrible mistake
01:15:02What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:03Go after her!
01:15:08Eva...
01:15:08Let me go!
01:15:09I swear it's not what you think
01:15:11Look, we come from two completely different worlds
01:15:13Stop pretending like you care
01:15:14I'm not pretending!
01:15:16Okay, I can't fake what we have
01:15:17And everything I've done for you
01:15:19And Piper, this is real
01:15:25Touch my wife again and I will snap every finger that you've got
01:15:29Max, you came
01:15:30God, you are driving me fucking insane
01:15:35I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband
01:15:37A good father
01:15:39Just say the word
01:15:43See?
01:15:46Stop fighting
01:15:49We belong together
01:15:52You're wrong
01:15:53Wrong about what?
01:15:55That you care?
01:15:57Or we belong together?
01:15:58Look, I already told you
01:16:00We're from two completely different worlds
01:16:02Now I held up my end of the deal
01:16:04And I met your mother
01:16:05Like we discussed
01:16:06Now I want a fake divorce from my fake husband
01:16:12Eva!
01:16:15Eva!
01:16:17I'm sorry, Maximus
01:16:19Walking away is the only choice I have
01:16:27Ow!
01:16:29Are you okay, Mommy?
01:16:31Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine
01:16:33Come here
01:16:42No, you're not fine
01:16:43You're sad
01:16:46I'm okay, sweetie
01:16:50I miss Daddy, too
01:16:54I want Max to be my real daddy
01:16:59Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:03Love bug
01:17:05You're right
01:17:06What am I doing? Running like a coward?
01:17:10I've always taught you to be brave
01:17:13Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too
01:17:17I believe in you
01:17:18What are you gonna do, Mommy?
01:17:20I know exactly what to say to him
01:17:25Maximus deserves to know
01:17:27Piper is his daughter
01:17:34Enough sulking
01:17:36Go get your wife and my grandbaby back
01:17:40Don't you think I want to?
01:17:42She doesn't want me
01:17:43I didn't raise you to give up
01:17:45Your daughter is still out there
01:17:47You can't abandon her
01:17:48Mom, you don't get it
01:17:50I made a deal with Eva to play my wife
01:17:53And Piper, she was an added bonus
01:17:57What are you talking about?
01:17:59I already ran a DNA test
01:18:03Piper is your daughter
01:18:05What?
01:18:06See for yourself
01:18:13No
01:18:14I was right
01:18:15Seven years ago
01:18:17New Years, that woman was Eva
01:18:29Eva!
01:18:30Hey
01:18:32Daddy!
01:18:34Daddy!
01:18:35Piper!
01:18:37Oh
01:18:39I missed you so much, sweetheart
01:18:46You came back
01:18:50I
01:18:53Don't forget to be brave, Mommy
01:19:00Don't forget to be brave, Mommy
01:19:01I, uh...
01:19:03I was scared
01:19:04But I don't want to be scared anymore
01:19:07Because what we have is real
01:19:08And it's worth fighting for
01:19:11Sweetheart, I have something to tell you
01:19:15I have something to tell you, too
01:19:19Piper is your daughter
01:19:21You knew?
01:19:22My sweet granddaughter
01:19:25Grandma!
01:19:29I just found out for sure a few minutes ago
01:19:31But you've known this whole time?
01:19:33I was scared
01:19:34Okay, I didn't know if you were gonna take her from me
01:19:36I didn't know how you were feeling
01:19:40How could you not know how I felt?
01:19:52I love you, Eva
01:19:56I love you, Eva
01:19:57I love you, too
01:19:58I promise
01:19:59For the rest of my life
01:20:00I'm going to make it up to you
01:20:03As long as we're together
01:20:05It doesn't matter where we are
01:20:16Will you marry me, Eva?
01:20:19For real this time?
01:20:20Y-yes!
01:20:22Yes, of course I'll marry you!
01:20:28Yes!
01:20:29Hi!
01:20:36Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas
01:20:38And the Christmas after that
01:20:40And forever!
01:20:43I wouldn't have it any other way
01:20:45I wouldn't have it any other way
01:20:51Who's that?
01:20:52Eva!
01:20:56Take me back!
01:20:58I'm sorry!
01:20:59I struck your tire!
01:21:02Ah!
01:21:04Looks like I have to take out the trash
01:21:06Again
01:21:09No?
01:21:10Not funny?
01:21:11I don't know
01:21:12Thanks
01:21:13Bye!
01:21:18Bye!
01:21:19Bye!
01:21:22Bye!
01:21:27I'll see you next time.
01:21:27And then I'll see you next time.
01:21:27You
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