00:00What I'm about to share with you isn't a straight line, it isn't a 10-step program, it isn't a
00:05before-and-after transformation photo.
00:08It's messier than that and more honest than that, and I think, I hope, it might be more useful than
00:14that.
00:15This is my story, and it starts, like a lot of real stories do, with a question I couldn't stop
00:21asking.
00:23Chapter 1. The Density.
00:27Back in 2006, I used to watch the people around me and feel this deep, quiet confusion sitting in my
00:34chest.
00:34I'd look at how differently people were being treated, and I'd think, how?
00:39How come they're treated so differently when their behavior doesn't really differ that much from one person to another?
00:45It felt like everyone else had been handed a rulebook for how reality worked, and I was just standing outside
00:52the room, looking in through the window.
00:54I had always been sensitive, not in a delicate way, in a receiving-everything kind of way.
01:00My nervous system has always been tuned to a different frequency, one that picks up on things most people walk
01:06right past.
01:07The energy in a room, the weight behind someone's words, the discomfort underneath what no one is saying out loud.
01:14Living like that for decades, while also carrying real physical pain and layers of trauma that is a dense experience.
01:25Heavy.
01:26Exhausting in ways that are hard to explain to someone who hasn't felt it.
01:31You build an internal world that is huge and vivid and alive, because the outer world is often just too
01:39much to absorb without some kind of sanctuary.
01:43That question I kept asking, why are people treated differently?
01:46It wasn't just intellectual curiosity.
01:49It was personal.
01:51It was urgent.
01:52It came from somewhere that had been sitting in confusion and pain for a very long time.
01:57And then, in 2007, I found the beginning of an answer.
02:04Chapter 2.
02:05The First Spark.
02:072007.
02:09I watched a documentary called The Secret.
02:11Out of everything in that film, the piece that landed the deepest wasn't about money or houses or any of
02:19the things people usually talk about.
02:21It was the idea of using art to manifest.
02:28Art was already my language.
02:30It was the one place where I felt fluent.
02:33So I sat down and I drew a picture of myself singing.
02:37And right next to it, I wrote one word.
02:42Canada.
02:43I want you to sit with that for a moment, because I am telling you this story from Canada as
02:48a songwriter.
02:49Living inside that drawing, I didn't have the full vocabulary for what I was doing back then.
02:54I didn't understand frequency or vibrational alignment or any of the framework that would come later.
03:01But my soul knew something.
03:02My soul was already using creativity as a technology to reach forward in time and say,
03:09This.
03:09I want this.
03:10That drawing was a seed.
03:12And seeds, as it turns out, are patient.
03:15Chapter 3.
03:17The Gateway.
03:17Autumn 2023.
03:19It started with a completely ordinary moment.
03:22A family member looked at me and asked,
03:24Out of nowhere,
03:25Do you believe in aliens?
03:27I shrugged.
03:28I said,
03:28Well, everything is possible.
03:31That open door was all they needed.
03:33That was the exact moment they introduced me to Bashar.
03:36Now, I want to be honest with you here, because honesty is the whole point of this.
03:41I was careful at first.
03:42When you have spent close to four decades navigating trauma,
03:47you don't just swing your mind wide open to every cosmic theory that comes through.
03:54You protect your peace.
03:55You stay measured.
03:56You've been burned before by things that promised transformation and delivered disappointment.
04:01So, I watched with skepticism.
04:04Healthy, earned skepticism.
04:06But then I started actually testing the ideas in my daily life.
04:10Not believing them on faith.
04:12Testing them.
04:13Like gears.
04:14Does this turn?
04:15Does that connect?
04:16And it did.
04:17Something was working.
04:19So, I kept going.
04:23Chapter 4.
04:24The Teaching That Changed Everything
04:26Bashar said a lot of things that were new to me, but there was one moment, one specific
04:30thing he said about beliefs that clicked into my heart so deeply that everything changed.
04:36He said,
04:37If there is a belief you want to release, you don't fight it.
04:41You don't suppress it.
04:42You don't demand that it disappear.
04:44You talk to it.
04:45You say,
04:46You're valid.
04:46What you're doing is valid.
04:48But I have to let you go now.
04:50And you will not die if I do.
04:52I had never heard anything like that before.
04:55The idea that a belief isn't an enemy.
04:57It's a mechanism.
04:59It thinks it is protecting you.
05:00It's terrified of being released because it believes its own survival is tied to yours.
05:05The next time I sat with plant medicine, I decided to try it.
05:10And what happened next is something I will never forget.
05:13Before this, the old heavy beliefs inside me had always talked to me without respect.
05:19Harsh.
05:20Loud.
05:22Relentless.
05:23But this time, I used what Bashar had given me.
05:28I validated the belief.
05:30I acknowledged what it had been doing.
05:32I gave it permission to step down.
05:35The disrespect just stopped.
05:38All of a sudden, the belief started speaking to me differently.
05:42Gently.
05:44And within a short time, it just stood there.
05:47And it said,
05:49What you've just done is the bravest thing a human can do.
05:53You're so brave.
05:55And it has been a privilege to do this with you.
05:58A belief I had been fighting for decades looked at me and said,
06:03It has been a privilege.
06:06That is what happens when you stop treating the wounded parts of yourself as enemies.
06:12Chapter 5.
06:13The Outflow.
06:15So, what does healing look like practically?
06:20For me, it looks like hundreds of songs.
06:22It looks like vivid worlds built out of words and sound.
06:27It looks like creativity that used to be blocked.
06:32Finding every crack in the wall and pouring through.
06:35When you stop spending all your energy on internal warfare, something extraordinary happens.
06:42That energy has to go somewhere.
06:43And for me, it went into making things.
06:46Healing didn't make me quiet.
06:47It made me volcanic.
06:49The sensitive nervous system that I once thought was a flaw,
06:52the one that absorbs everything,
06:54that picks up on frequencies others miss,
06:57turns out to be the exact instrument I needed
07:00to do the plant medicine work,
07:02to feel the shift in the belief,
07:04to channel pain into art precision that it actually lands somewhere true.
07:11I'm not telling you this story because I have it all figured out.
07:14I'm telling it because in 2006,
07:17I was standing outside a window wondering why the world made no sense.
07:21And in 2007, I drew myself somewhere I hadn't been yet.
07:26And in 2023, I had a conversation with a part of myself
07:29that I thought would never show me respect.
07:32And it called me brave.
07:33Healing can look different for different people.
07:35Maybe for you, it looks like therapy or movement or prayer or community.
07:41Maybe it looks like a conversation you didn't expect to have.
07:44Maybe it looks like a drawing with one word next to it.
07:49Whatever it looks like for you,
07:50I hope this story gave you permission to trust your own path,
07:56even the weird parts, especially the weird parts.
08:00Thank you for listening.
08:01Thank you for listening.
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