- 8 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:14What about him?
00:00:16What about him?
00:00:17What about us?
00:00:18You know what I think?
00:00:19Ain't nothing at all?
00:00:22What the hell can you say that to me?
00:00:28Jason?
00:00:30Jason, honey, it's time to come inside.
00:00:35Oh, sweetie, we talked about this.
00:00:39Sometimes mommies and daddies have to take a break.
00:00:46Honey.
00:00:49How long?
00:00:52Maybe a few months.
00:00:55Maybe never.
00:00:59Then I'm never coming back inside.
00:01:03Oh, come on, honey.
00:01:07Come on, sweetie.
00:01:08Let's grab some hot chocolate.
00:01:10We'll feel better.
00:01:12Okay.
00:01:17But I'm going to try again tomorrow.
00:01:20I'm going to make it all night.
00:01:22Alone.
00:01:42Eyes wide open.
00:01:44And you throw the sand
00:01:47There was rocks in your mouth
00:01:50And now there's rocks in your hand
00:01:53And I'm moving far to farther still
00:01:59While you mince my words
00:02:02Oh boy, I know the drill
00:02:11The drill is like a body
00:02:15At the bottom of the lane
00:02:18With rocks and ropes a-sinking
00:02:21Just thinking what it takes
00:02:24You're taking it out from the ground
00:02:28Where is my gusto?
00:02:31Where is my ambitory point?
00:02:34I don't know
00:02:37Right, so I was a good 50 to 80 yards away from Kim
00:02:41Just me and my rifle in one hand
00:02:45And a flashlight in the other
00:02:47Yeah?
00:02:47Yeah, so I'm in the middle of the woods
00:02:49And all of a sudden I hear the sound
00:02:51Of breaking branches behind me
00:02:52So I swing around and there he is
00:02:55Big black bear
00:02:57About 10 feet tall
00:02:59So I pull out my rifle
00:03:00I'm ready to shoot
00:03:03And click
00:03:04Nothing
00:03:05Nothing
00:03:0640 below
00:03:07Gun seizes
00:03:08My God
00:03:0940 below?
00:03:10Yeah
00:03:11Shouldn't he have been hibernating?
00:03:12Yeah
00:03:12Probably
00:03:13You know
00:03:15But I think he was sick
00:03:16He had rabies
00:03:17Schizophrenia
00:03:18Schizophrenia?
00:03:19Bear schizophrenia
00:03:20Anyway, my mind was moving
00:03:23Faster and faster
00:03:24And then it hit me
00:03:25I had it right there
00:03:27All knowledge begins with the census
00:03:30Proceeding with understanding
00:03:32And ending with reason
00:03:35Nothing is higher than reason
00:03:38Emmanuel Kant
00:03:40And then?
00:03:41And then?
00:03:42Well
00:03:44Then I hit him in the nose
00:03:45With the butt of my rifle
00:03:48He ran off into the woods
00:03:49And I never saw him again
00:03:51Wow
00:03:53Yeah
00:03:54Wow
00:03:55That was one hell of a winner
00:03:59Jason
00:04:00Well here at Random House
00:04:01We're all fans of the samples you sent us
00:04:03Oh, thank you very much
00:04:05This project
00:04:06It's very exciting
00:04:07I have to ask
00:04:08Have you met with anyone else?
00:04:10I'm not gonna lie to you, Carrie
00:04:11I've met with a few people here and there
00:04:14I'd love to lock you down
00:04:16I'm in L.A. next week
00:04:17Let's meet face to face
00:04:18Talk about this a little more
00:04:20Does that work for you?
00:04:21That sounds fine
00:04:22Yes
00:04:24Great
00:04:24Great
00:04:25You excited to get back out there?
00:04:27Oh, yeah
00:04:27Where?
00:04:28In nature
00:04:30Yes
00:04:30Of course
00:04:31Always
00:04:31Hey, when was the last time you've done this?
00:04:34Lived in the woods
00:04:35Oh
00:04:37So many times I can't even count
00:04:39Oh, okay
00:04:40See you soon
00:04:41I will see you soon as well
00:04:44All right
00:04:45Bye-bye
00:04:48Yes
00:04:49Random house
00:04:51It's happening
00:04:52This is all coming together
00:04:54Oh, boy
00:05:01So, what did you want to talk about?
00:05:03Jason, sit down
00:05:14I'm leaving you
00:05:15Looks
00:05:16More like I'm leaving you
00:05:18I'm kicking you out
00:05:19You're kicking me out of our apartment
00:05:21My apartment
00:05:22Because of the trip
00:05:24Come on
00:05:25Carol, could you just please be supportive
00:05:27For once
00:05:28I have done nothing but support you
00:05:31You rework your whole life around these stupid hyper-masculine ideals that you get in your big dumb head
00:05:37And I am always there to support you when you start
00:05:41And then you quit
00:05:42What?
00:05:44When?
00:05:45Oh, okay, let me see
00:05:46Um, two years ago
00:05:47You were a runner
00:05:48We had to wake up at the
00:05:49Dawn to run for two hours
00:05:51And that lasted
00:05:51Until you blew your knee
00:05:53Trying to run to Mexico
00:05:54Hey
00:05:54I got pretty far
00:05:56And then it was MMA
00:05:57MMA is very hard, Carol
00:06:00There are still bloodstains on the floor
00:06:03Woodworking
00:06:03Poker
00:06:04Boating
00:06:05Hunting
00:06:05Shooting ranges
00:06:07Classic car restoration
00:06:08Hey, where is that 65 Impala we were going to drive?
00:06:12To Big Sur
00:06:12It is in our garage
00:06:14Does it have wheels?
00:06:16Carol, this is different, okay?
00:06:17Does it have wheels?
00:06:19It looks cooler without wheels
00:06:22I have known you for a very long time, okay?
00:06:26And I know that deep in your heart
00:06:28You think that you are capable of this
00:06:31But you're not
00:06:32All right?
00:06:34Come on, Jason
00:06:35Snap out of it
00:06:38You have got
00:06:39To move on
00:06:42From what?
00:06:47Is this about my dad?
00:06:49What, that he's dead?
00:06:51Is that what this is about?
00:06:52That's
00:06:52Yeah
00:06:53What you want to talk about?
00:06:54Okay, fine
00:06:55You know what?
00:06:56Let's talk about it
00:06:56Yes
00:06:58Please, let's talk about it
00:07:07I just need to train
00:07:13So, uh
00:07:15You're really going to go into the wilderness for a year?
00:07:21Yes
00:07:24All right
00:07:25Well, then I guess you're right
00:07:27You're leaving me
00:07:35Goodbye
00:07:40Carol
00:07:58Thank you
00:07:59So, tomorrow's the big day, right?
00:08:02Yeah
00:08:02I guess
00:08:04You nervous?
00:08:06Uh
00:08:07If it happens, great
00:08:08If not, it's whatever
00:08:19But you think I'll get it, right?
00:08:21Oh!
00:08:22Come on, come on
00:08:23You got it
00:08:24You got it
00:08:26You got it
00:08:26You got it
00:08:27Okay
00:08:31Jason
00:08:33Hi
00:08:34Sorry I'm late
00:08:35The traffic was oppressive
00:08:36Oh, yes
00:08:37Well, I don't know if you want to
00:08:38Oh, thanks
00:08:39Sit there
00:08:41Yeah, traffic's the reason I'm leaving
00:08:43Hey guys, welcome
00:08:44What can I get you?
00:08:45Oh, uh
00:08:46You know, I will take the braised salmon with potatoes
00:08:49And I'd like the quinoa salad
00:08:52No tomatoes, no onions
00:08:53And an ice water
00:08:54No ice
00:08:55You know what?
00:08:56Actually, I'll have that
00:08:57I like that
00:08:57You got it
00:08:59Last take this
00:09:00Thank you
00:09:01Thank you
00:09:02Well, as you know, we're so excited about this project
00:09:05Your outdoor odyssey
00:09:08Your deal memo
00:09:09Basically just outlines our agreement
00:09:12Oh, perfect, okay
00:09:13I will, uh, peruse the deets
00:09:16Well, it's a good problem to have
00:09:18That's for sure
00:09:20The business from Atlanta alone
00:09:21Is going to double our cash flow
00:09:23The bad news is
00:09:25We are going to have to do some reorganizing
00:09:27Of course
00:09:28Makes sense
00:09:29I've spoken to the VPs
00:09:30And we're all in agreement about how best to move forward
00:09:35Let me start by saying
00:09:37That you're both going to be working on Atlanta
00:09:40And that you're both going to be promoted
00:09:41That's great
00:09:45You know, I re-read the scent of fog on the flight
00:09:49It really touched me
00:09:51There's a vibrancy to your words
00:09:54They're rough but sensitive
00:09:56You know, I think about that essay
00:09:58Every time I smell smoke carp
00:10:01I thought it was herring
00:10:02We're creating an entirely new division of identity theft
00:10:07And Mona, we're promoting you to senior analyst
00:10:13And Cassie, you're going to be executive director
00:10:16Wow
00:10:18I know, it's really, really exciting stuff
00:10:21But we're sort of rebuilding the team in many respects
00:10:23Wait
00:10:23So you just gave the promotion to Cassie?
00:10:26No, uh-uh
00:10:26You're both getting promoted
00:10:29But most of the time you will be reporting to Cassie
00:10:32That part is true
00:10:32Mona, welcome to my team
00:10:36You see, for me, it's all about
00:10:38The connections of my surroundings
00:10:41The world, you know
00:10:42Like, who made that fantastic blazer?
00:10:46Some kid in Indonesia?
00:10:48I don't know
00:10:49Who made our phones?
00:10:51Who made your shoes?
00:10:52Who made the quinoa?
00:10:55I want to be one with the world
00:10:57And for the first time, learn to connect
00:10:59You see why I gradually
00:11:00Wait, what do you mean the first time?
00:11:03I have done everything you've asked me to do
00:11:06I come in early every single day
00:11:09And I bust my ass
00:11:11I should be the director
00:11:13No, you're not
00:11:16Then I quit
00:11:19I just mean my first time in Northern California
00:11:22I've obviously been in much harsher situations
00:11:26Sure
00:11:27Hey, do you know the difference between a hack pawn and a pinstack?
00:11:34Well, let me ask you this
00:11:36Are we talking about a North American pinstack or an African pinstack?
00:11:40I made those words up
00:11:46You're not gonna quit
00:11:47You love this job too much
00:11:49No, I
00:11:50I need unemployment
00:11:53I need you to fire me
00:11:56Yeah, I'm not gonna fire you
00:11:59Really?
00:12:01Mm-mm
00:12:02How about now, huh?
00:12:06Has any of this happened?
00:12:08Uh, what do you mean?
00:12:10Has any of this actually happened?
00:12:12Have you actually escaped a bear in 40 Below?
00:12:16Did you gather berries and live off rabbit meat for weeks on end?
00:12:20You f***ing little s***
00:12:22No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:12:24Okay, look
00:12:25I can do this
00:12:26You're not very professional, is it?
00:12:35You're acting like a child
00:12:37Yeah, it feels great
00:12:38All right, I've been training
00:12:40It could be the same story
00:12:41F***ing f***ing even better
00:12:43That was my grandfather
00:12:48Well, you know, that's a story I would read
00:12:50Yes
00:12:51If you didn't quit after a week
00:12:54Goodbye
00:12:55Wait, come on
00:12:56Two quinoa salads
00:13:01I'm gonna just, uh, leave the check right here
00:13:04Thank you
00:13:05And let me know if you need a box
00:13:09Okay, keep us out
00:13:11Okay
00:13:18You're fired
00:13:21Thank you
00:13:22You're really welcome
00:13:31That was more aggressive
00:13:33And my people skills are f***ing amazing
00:13:42So, you're out of here, huh?
00:13:45Yeah, I got fired
00:13:47Why?
00:13:49My people skills
00:13:53Yeah, I can see that
00:13:54I can see that
00:13:58Yep
00:14:00So what are you gonna do?
00:14:02Are you gonna go out and, like, find yourself now?
00:14:08Yes
00:14:09Yes
00:14:10Yes, that's exactly what I'll do
00:14:12Now you'll find myself
00:14:22I have to escort you off the property now
00:14:24Yes, okay
00:14:25Yep, that's what you're doing
00:14:26I can grab that if you want
00:14:28I can grab that if you want
00:14:28No, I got it, I got it, I got it
00:14:35Oh, hi
00:14:36Hi
00:14:38Nice boxes
00:14:39Yes, sorry, yeah, you too
00:14:41Oh, thanks
00:14:41Yeah
00:14:43I'm Jace
00:14:44Mona
00:14:45Nice to meet you
00:14:46Nice to meet you
00:14:47Oh, you're friends with Blake
00:14:48Yeah, I'm just staying with him for a while
00:14:50Kind of going through this transition thing
00:14:53Oh, sounds mysterious
00:14:54Well, what about you?
00:14:56What's this, uh, did you rob a staples?
00:14:58I, um, I quit
00:15:02Oh
00:15:02I quit my job
00:15:04Technically, I got fired
00:15:05Oh
00:15:06Because they said, they said you're fired
00:15:09But I wanted that, so
00:15:13Hey
00:15:14What the fuck are you doing here?
00:15:16Oh
00:15:17Hey, Blake
00:15:18Carol kicked me out
00:15:19Just wondering maybe I could crash or something
00:15:22Uh, of course
00:15:23Hey, Mona
00:15:24Hey
00:15:25Nice to meet you
00:15:26It's very nice meeting you
00:15:27And congratulations, and I'm sorry
00:15:29Thanks
00:15:30Bummer, yeah
00:15:31That sucks, huh?
00:15:32Thank you, man
00:15:33I just need to stay for, like, a few months
00:15:35Uh, yeah
00:15:37I mean, come in
00:15:37Let's talk about it
00:15:38Okay
00:15:46I'm gonna pull this up
00:15:49Oh, okay
00:15:52Damn it
00:15:53Thank you
00:15:53All right
00:16:09I only have one left
00:16:10Splitskies
00:16:11What?
00:16:12I only have one left
00:16:13You want to split it?
00:16:14Uh, yeah
00:16:15Yeah, yeah
00:16:16That sounds good
00:16:18Cool
00:16:24So what happened?
00:16:26Well, you know
00:16:27I'm leaving civilization
00:16:28To live in the wilderness
00:16:29In three months
00:16:30And I guess she just
00:16:31Couldn't wait that long
00:16:33Good
00:16:33She was kind of a
00:16:35Wait, what?
00:16:36I thought you two got along
00:16:38I didn't particularly care for her
00:16:40She was bossy and shitty to you
00:16:41She was like a first wife
00:16:42That you, you know
00:16:43The implication is
00:16:44You'd have a second, I guess
00:16:45Is what I'm getting at
00:16:46Yeah
00:16:46Anyway, good you got out when you did
00:16:48Wow
00:16:50You know what you gotta do?
00:16:52Oh, here we go
00:16:53You gotta go out
00:16:54Oh, boy
00:16:55Find a girl that looks like Carol
00:16:57And then f*** her
00:16:58I'm not going to
00:16:59No, hear me out
00:16:59You gotta be mean about it
00:17:00You gotta do it for you
00:17:01You gotta give her the business
00:17:02Get your swagger back
00:17:03You feel me?
00:17:04I don't even know what that means
00:17:05But what are you saying?
00:17:06Like, not spend the night or something?
00:17:08Something like that
00:17:09But do it for you
00:17:10You know what I mean?
00:17:11Be mean about it
00:17:11Get like, you know
00:17:12Like, be the guy, you know?
00:17:14Are you sure this is alright?
00:17:15Me staying here?
00:17:16You sure?
00:17:18Yeah, I mean
00:17:20The place looks a little better already
00:17:21You have such OCD
00:17:22I could probably fire my cleaning lady
00:17:23So
00:17:24Thanks, man
00:17:24I really appreciate it
00:17:26Yeah
00:17:30Man
00:17:34Alright
00:17:37If you're watching this video
00:17:39It's probably because
00:17:40You're having issues
00:17:41With either your hiking boots
00:17:42Or your running shoes
00:17:42Coming out of time
00:17:43What are you doing?
00:17:45I'm preparing
00:17:45By watching movies?
00:17:47No
00:17:48I'm reading books, too
00:17:50That's not how you prepare
00:17:51For this shit, man
00:17:52You don't read books
00:17:53You gotta train
00:17:53You gotta get a trainer
00:17:54You gotta do something
00:17:55About your body
00:17:56Dude, I have a trainer
00:17:57Who?
00:17:58You don't know him
00:17:59Alright, but he's gonna get me super ripped
00:18:01Jesus
00:18:03You're not gonna last a week, my friend
00:18:05Cowboy hat?
00:18:06Hat means bald
00:18:07You like bald?
00:18:08No
00:18:09Oh, he's a pilot
00:18:10That's cool, right?
00:18:12Pass
00:18:12Who doesn't wear a shirt
00:18:13In their profile pic?
00:18:14Shirtless guys have small
00:18:15What?
00:18:16How do you know that?
00:18:18How many data points do you have?
00:18:20Uh, one, two
00:18:22Eight
00:18:24Pass
00:18:25Pass?
00:18:26No, why are you passing so much?
00:18:27No, I need to say yes more
00:18:29I need to be more social
00:18:30Oh, don't forget
00:18:31They need to be rich
00:18:32Why?
00:18:33Fluff and fold laundry
00:18:34Take out dinner every night
00:18:35You no longer have a job, Mona
00:18:38Unemployment is what?
00:18:38Like, 12 weeks?
00:18:40Six
00:18:40Wait, you don't have a job?
00:18:42Why aren't we on LinkedIn?
00:18:43Oh, oh, God
00:18:44It says he's a vampire
00:18:46Oh, my God
00:18:47Swipe right
00:18:47Swipe right
00:18:48Do it
00:18:50You need some hobbies
00:18:51Go where dudes go
00:18:52No, she doesn't like normal guys
00:18:54Hobbies won't work for her
00:18:55That's not true
00:18:57Aww
00:18:59Pass
00:18:59Why?
00:19:00No single dads
00:19:01Yeah, no dads
00:19:02Why don't you tell us
00:19:03What you're looking for, Mona?
00:19:06I don't know
00:19:08Someone who's, like, odd
00:19:10But not a total f***er
00:19:12And someone who really knows
00:19:14How to use Latin and plurals
00:19:16That's really important to me
00:19:17What are Latin and plurals?
00:19:20It's just, like, the appropriate use of plural nouns
00:19:23So, like, cactus, cacti
00:19:26Or alumnus, alumni
00:19:27Or, um
00:19:28What is she talking about?
00:19:30She means, like, mice and mouse
00:19:31No
00:19:32No, that's not the right example
00:19:37I'm gonna say it's my brain
00:19:38I love him
00:19:39No, he looks like he's sweet
00:19:41Yes, he does
00:19:42He looks very sweet
00:19:43I guess I just need somebody who can shut my brain off
00:19:49I'm training, okay?
00:19:50I'm training
00:19:51And I'm gonna get this body in shape
00:19:52And you'll see
00:19:53And I'll be able to live in the woods
00:19:54Do me a favor
00:19:55Let me see you just get out of that bed in less than three seconds
00:19:58I'm not gonna play your little games
00:19:59All right, get up
00:19:59What?
00:20:00Get up
00:20:00Why?
00:20:01Get up, let's just see if you're out of breath
00:20:04Sorry, go ahead
00:20:05Are you gonna push me?
00:20:06I'm not gonna push you
00:20:11What?
00:20:12You're out of breath
00:20:14It's an air mattress, man, okay?
00:20:16You get stuck in these things
00:20:17What are you doing?
00:20:26All right
00:20:27Shh, listen
00:20:29Try it
00:20:32This is ridiculous
00:20:33Just try it
00:20:34Fine
00:20:35And then just be quiet
00:20:38Taking a break?
00:20:39Just a minute
00:20:53You threw it in the three times
00:20:58I mean, come on
00:21:01I'll get you a water
00:21:01Thank you
00:21:24What are you doing?
00:21:24Looking to get in shape?
00:21:30Yeah, I'm
00:21:31I'm gonna go live off the
00:21:33Off the grid
00:21:34In Northern California
00:21:35I'm writing this book about it
00:21:37So I've been doing a lot of research
00:21:38And, you know, reading
00:21:39You're reading books
00:21:43To learn how to survive in the wilderness
00:21:46And I'm working out a lot
00:21:48Yeah, that won't last a week
00:21:50Okay, thank you
00:21:52I appreciate it
00:21:53I spent some good time training up in the hills
00:21:56What, Northern California?
00:21:58Yeah, with SEAL Team 2
00:21:59SEAL Team 2, like the Navy SEALs?
00:22:02Yeah
00:22:02You were a Navy SEAL?
00:22:03Yeah
00:22:04And I wasn't no bug out bag either
00:22:06Till the accident
00:22:08Wow
00:22:09I lived in the elements
00:22:10All of them
00:22:11With nothing but a
00:22:12A German army knife
00:22:14And a
00:22:15And a
00:22:16Flash of tarp
00:22:18What's a German army knife?
00:22:20It's like a Russian army knife
00:22:21Only, only, only, only
00:22:23Way better
00:22:24Which is even way better than a Swiss army knife
00:22:26Hey, you don't think there's any way that I could...
00:22:28Sure, man
00:22:28I'll train you
00:22:29Oh, no, no
00:22:30I was just thinking maybe about the knife
00:22:33Is your heart in this?
00:22:34Or not?
00:22:36Yeah, my heart is in it
00:22:38You wanna die out there
00:22:40Good luck, man
00:22:41That's cool
00:22:42Really, good luck
00:22:46Goddammit
00:22:47Come back, please
00:22:49Alright
00:22:50Alright
00:22:53Fine
00:22:54You know what?
00:22:55I'm in
00:22:57Good, good
00:22:58And I need your phone number
00:23:00Cause I'm gonna be able to reach
00:23:00A day or night
00:23:02In 24 hours
00:23:05Alright
00:23:06Well, do you have a pen?
00:23:08I got mascara
00:23:30Um, I think that's two loads
00:23:34Oh
00:23:36It's been a while since I've done laundry
00:23:39Okay, hold up
00:23:39Alright
00:23:40Let me help you then
00:23:42Well, first off
00:23:44You have
00:23:44A lot of colors and whites mixed in here
00:23:47And that is not a good thing
00:23:49I think it's okay
00:23:52Okay
00:23:54I love all colors
00:24:00Thank you for your help
00:24:01Sure
00:24:03I have a party to go to later
00:24:06In rehab
00:24:08Yeah, well
00:24:09Blake is down in Palm Desert
00:24:11The whole weekend
00:24:12So tonight I am gonna order some Thai food
00:24:14And then chill
00:24:15It's gonna be sick
00:24:17Why is Blake in Palm Desert?
00:24:19Oh, just some desert party rave thing that he goes to
00:24:23Yeah, he'll be out
00:24:24Getting all messed up
00:24:25And he'll show up Sunday night after midnight
00:24:28Completely gone
00:24:29Wake up the next morning
00:24:30Take some pills
00:24:31And go to work as if nothing happened
00:24:34That guy's ridiculous
00:24:36It's like a different girl every week
00:24:37And we can hear it
00:24:39Jen and I have a drinking game
00:24:40He's into some sick shit
00:24:43Sometimes he cries after
00:24:46I probably shouldn't have told you that
00:24:47No, you definitely should have told me that
00:24:51I don't actually have plans tonight
00:24:55I was just trying to be impressive
00:24:59You know, if you're not doing anything
00:25:02You can come over
00:25:03And order some Thai food
00:25:05And just chill
00:25:09Nothing weird
00:25:10I wasn't thinking of anything weird until you said it
00:25:13Until I said it, right?
00:25:13Yeah
00:25:14That's what I felt
00:25:14Yeah
00:25:15Yeah, it was gross
00:25:17All right, watch your hands
00:25:19Okay, so
00:25:20I'll set you up
00:25:21All right
00:25:24Now, I will let you do the answer
00:25:26So you asked if you could hit it
00:25:27And she said yes?
00:25:28Oh, she did
00:25:29She asked
00:25:30That's weird
00:25:32That's actually very cool, though
00:25:34So what do I do now?
00:25:48You want to try this?
00:25:49What?
00:25:49No, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:25:51I'm not trying home-brewed beer, okay?
00:25:53It's the liquid version of improv comedy
00:25:56You know, you get invited
00:25:57You have to go to the show
00:25:58The show sucks
00:25:59And you've got to lie to the people
00:26:00And be like, hey, no, it was pretty good
00:26:02Yeah, no
00:26:02Don't be an asshole
00:26:03Try this
00:26:16It's pretty good
00:26:25Phone!
00:26:29Pick up your fucking phone!
00:26:38Hello?
00:26:40Wake up, mother fucker!
00:26:41Training starts today!
00:26:45Gerard, what's up, man?
00:26:46How you doing?
00:26:47Good seeing you
00:26:48Fucking so cold out here
00:26:49What is this, like an endurance test or something?
00:26:52Cold training?
00:26:53Yeah, cold training
00:26:54He would have brought the heat
00:26:55No, no, cold training, man
00:26:57This is 52 degrees
00:26:58It's gonna get in the negative teens up north
00:27:00Shit
00:27:02Shit
00:27:04You want to start a fire?
00:27:05I'm not bringing a lighter or a fire starter
00:27:07I'm gonna use a bow drill
00:27:10Like the natives
00:27:11Oh, so that's a no?
00:27:12No, I read a book
00:27:14Alright, we'll work on that later
00:27:16Right now
00:27:17You need to learn how to respect the cold
00:27:20You don't listen to your body
00:27:22You're dead
00:27:23A body temperature mistake can be fatal
00:27:26Let me tell you three things at once
00:27:28You learn to listen
00:27:30Listen to learn
00:27:31The show
00:27:33It takes a dump on the spirit
00:27:35It spreads its legs like a fat
00:27:37Pizza eater
00:27:38A nothing
00:27:39A little piece of uncle
00:27:43Okay, so what I gathered is
00:27:46I have to clear my mind
00:27:48So that my body
00:27:50Isn't physically cold
00:27:54Actually, run with that for me
00:28:03Again
00:28:03Hold on
00:28:05Not hold on
00:28:06Again
00:28:07Come on
00:28:08Jesus
00:28:09Burn the flesh off that puppet
00:28:15Stop
00:28:17Let's go
00:28:17Let's go
00:28:18I'm done
00:28:19I want you to go, man
00:28:21I want you to go and go
00:28:22Don't stop going
00:28:23This is what we're going to do
00:28:24All day
00:28:25Back and forth
00:28:26Come on
00:28:28Wait, wait, wait
00:28:28You're going for water?
00:28:29No, no, no
00:28:30No water now
00:28:31You want water?
00:28:31You got to go up to the big tower
00:28:33Right up there
00:28:34You got to go right up there
00:28:35You drank my water?
00:28:37Well, you're all good
00:28:39You can carry it with you
00:28:40You can dip it
00:28:40And come back
00:29:09You got to go
00:29:12Good
00:29:13What?
00:29:15How the hell did you get up here?
00:29:17I went
00:29:22Oh, yeah
00:29:24Seal
00:29:42It's open
00:29:46Hey
00:29:47Oh, hey
00:29:49I brought some neighborly cookies
00:29:51Oh, thank you
00:29:53That's so nice of you
00:29:55They might be a little burnt
00:29:59Well, thank you
00:30:02Well, I was actually about to, um
00:30:05Smoke
00:30:06Do you smoke?
00:30:11Yes
00:30:12Yes
00:30:17Oh
00:30:18What?
00:30:19Oh my god
00:30:20What?
00:30:21You've never smoked
00:30:24Not
00:30:24For any
00:30:26Political reason
00:30:27I'm not straight-edged
00:30:28Or anything
00:30:28I just
00:30:31Have not
00:30:33Well, would you like to?
00:30:36Yes
00:30:36Yes
00:30:37Yeah
00:30:38Yes
00:30:39Okay
00:30:40This is exciting
00:30:57Why are you, um
00:30:59What is this?
00:31:00This
00:31:01Is a 21st century typewriter
00:31:03This is how you disconnect
00:31:05So it's a computer
00:31:06No, it's not a computer
00:31:09It is a typewriter
00:31:10It has keys like a computer
00:31:11So does typewriters
00:31:13No, typewriters have keys like typewriters
00:31:15Okay
00:31:16You know, I'm high right now
00:31:18And you're kind of ruining my process
00:31:21Right?
00:31:22I write high
00:31:23I edit sober
00:31:24More
00:31:24Oh, I got you
00:31:26Oh my gosh
00:31:27I haven't had this in like 10 years
00:31:42I should probably go home
00:31:44It's probably late
00:31:45It's probably like past midnight
00:31:46It is 9.30
00:31:48Oh
00:31:51Why am I in the bathtub?
00:31:52I have no idea
00:31:54Oh
00:32:11I have no idea
00:32:25Oh, do you
00:32:26Are you hungry?
00:32:27Oh, that's
00:32:29That's so nice
00:32:30No, I just
00:32:30I just need to know
00:32:31I just was wondering
00:32:32If you knew about
00:32:33This berry
00:32:34One of these is
00:32:36Good for you
00:32:36And the other
00:32:37The other can put you in a coma
00:32:39Do you want some chips?
00:32:47Excuse me
00:32:48Yeah?
00:32:49Could you tell me
00:32:50Could you tell me if these are wild currants?
00:32:54What?
00:32:55I just want to know
00:32:56If these are edible wild currants
00:32:58I've been trying to figure this
00:32:59Have you been eating the berries?
00:33:01Of course not
00:33:02No
00:33:04Good
00:33:07Are these berries edible though?
00:33:09Don't eat anything
00:33:10Okay?
00:33:11These plants aren't up here
00:33:12For you to freaking eat
00:33:14They're here for families
00:33:15To come and look at
00:33:16And enjoy
00:33:17Take photos in front of them
00:33:18And then put them on
00:33:20The refrigerator at home
00:33:21So, you know
00:33:22And they look back
00:33:22And they remember the great time
00:33:23They had up here
00:33:24Okay
00:33:24I'm sorry
00:33:25Jeez
00:33:25Fine
00:33:27Are you sure though?
00:33:28Because if you look at this book
00:33:29Just do me a favor real quick
00:33:30Okay?
00:33:31You want to visualize something with me?
00:33:32Play a game?
00:33:33Look at all these plants
00:33:34Look at them all
00:33:36And let's assume
00:33:38That if you put one in your mouth
00:33:40You're going to die
00:33:42Well, I know that
00:33:43But
00:33:43So if I eat
00:33:44One of these plants
00:33:45I'm going to die
00:33:46That's what you should think
00:33:49Okay
00:33:53You're going to do it, aren't you?
00:33:55You're going to eat them
00:34:00No
00:34:19The key to getting a turkey moist
00:34:21Is to get the juices under the skin
00:34:23Not on
00:34:24Under
00:34:28What the fuck does that mean?
00:34:38Fire
00:34:45If you don't stay late
00:34:47They get mad
00:34:48And think that nothing's getting done
00:34:49And then if you do stay late
00:34:51People think that you don't have
00:34:52A good work-life balance
00:34:54Well, a 40-hour work week
00:34:55Is so immoral
00:34:5740 hours?
00:34:58That's cute
00:34:59That's like a vacation
00:35:00I had a sleeping bag
00:35:01In my filing cabinet
00:35:02That's bullshit
00:35:04You've got to pay the bills
00:35:05Some people
00:35:07Have to pay the bills
00:35:08What?
00:35:10Is that what this is?
00:35:11Like a recruiting ceremony
00:35:12For like Scientology or something?
00:35:14Or is it Mary Kay?
00:35:15Please don't tell me it's Mary Kay
00:35:16No
00:35:17No, it's
00:35:18Actually
00:35:18It's a little too complicated
00:35:20To explain in one night
00:35:21So
00:35:21I'm good at getting things
00:35:24Okay
00:35:25Okay, um, well
00:35:27I am gonna be going off
00:35:29And I'm gonna live in the mountains
00:35:31For a while
00:35:33Wow, how long?
00:35:35A year
00:35:37That's not complicated
00:35:38That's pretty awesome
00:35:40Isn't that kind of thing pretty taxing?
00:35:42Well, you know, my dad
00:35:43Used to go all the time
00:35:44And, uh, he would take me a few times
00:35:47You know, we would go up into the woods
00:35:49And, uh, sleep in tents
00:35:52And he'd crack open a beer
00:35:54And sneak me some sips
00:35:57Where's your dad now?
00:35:58Uh, he passed
00:36:00I'm sorry
00:36:01Yeah
00:36:02This is actually
00:36:04I have a picture of him
00:36:07It's him
00:36:08Wow
00:36:09Very handsome
00:36:10Yeah
00:36:11Yeah, that's where I get it from
00:36:13So you're just gonna go
00:36:15Look at some bears
00:36:16And then come back?
00:36:17No
00:36:18I'm actually bringing him a journal
00:36:19And I'm gonna write a book about it
00:36:21Wow
00:36:22That's intense
00:36:24Literally
00:36:24Because you'll be in a tent
00:36:25Oh, okay
00:36:26Right here
00:36:30You know, a lot of my friends
00:36:31Don't think I can do it
00:36:33Really?
00:36:34Yeah
00:36:35Well, you see, I've never really
00:36:37Done anything
00:36:38Survivor-ly
00:36:39So
00:36:40It's, you know
00:36:42You'll be fine
00:36:43You'll be great
00:36:45No, I'm doing well, Mom
00:36:47Mm-hmm
00:36:48Yeah
00:36:49I'm, uh, having dinner with a
00:36:51With a friend
00:36:54It is a she
00:36:56Yes
00:36:58No, Mom
00:36:59We are just
00:37:01We're just friends
00:37:02Okay?
00:37:03So let's settle
00:37:04Settle
00:37:05Settle down
00:37:07Yes, I know
00:37:08I know
00:37:09I will
00:37:10Okay?
00:37:12I really have
00:37:12I have to go
00:37:13No, I know
00:37:14I know
00:37:15I love you
00:37:15I have to go, though
00:37:45Because I'm being rude, Mother
00:37:46All right, wow
00:37:50She good?
00:37:51Hmm?
00:37:52That was the wrong number
00:38:08You finding everything you need?
00:38:10Uh, yeah
00:38:11I'm, uh, I'm fine
00:38:12Fire starter, huh?
00:38:15Yeah
00:38:15Yeah, well, you know
00:38:17I could usually make a fire
00:38:18Using local materials
00:38:19But this is, you know
00:38:19For rain emergencies
00:38:20Sure
00:38:22Where are you headed?
00:38:24North
00:38:24You know, the Sierra region
00:38:25You know, around those parts
00:38:27Sierras are so pretty
00:38:28Me and some of the crew here
00:38:29Went to Kings Canyon last summer
00:38:31Cool
00:38:31Mm-hmm
00:38:32Fire restrictions are pretty tight
00:38:34Well, I'll give you a little secret
00:38:36I'm not really worried about the laws
00:38:38Okay
00:38:39Uh, what kind of stove are you using?
00:38:41Uh, no stove
00:38:43Okay
00:38:44But you know you'll be fine like crazy
00:38:46If you get caught starting a fire without
00:38:47I know
00:38:48I'm a writer
00:38:50So I shouldn't be worried about you, huh?
00:38:53No
00:38:54I'll be fine
00:38:57Okay, uh, sorry
00:38:58I'm just
00:38:59I'm just gonna help you find
00:39:00You know
00:39:00That's
00:39:01That is
00:39:02Half my fault
00:39:03Mm-hmm
00:39:04Just
00:39:05Put that back for you
00:39:07You know
00:39:07Just these hooks
00:39:08Thank you
00:39:08Thank you
00:39:09Just probably push them in a little bit more
00:39:11Okay
00:39:13Here we go
00:39:16Ah
00:39:18Ah
00:39:20Ah
00:39:21Ah
00:39:23Emergency water
00:39:25Five-year shift
00:39:31Hi
00:39:34Wow
00:39:35Someone cleaned
00:39:37Is Blake okay with you sterilizing his apartment?
00:39:40I think he pretends to be
00:39:43Honestly, I actually think it kind of pisses him off
00:39:46It looks good
00:39:48Thank you
00:39:48Yeah, you know
00:39:49I have to take control
00:39:50I'll sue and all that
00:39:51Jazz
00:39:52So you're really going through with all this
00:39:54Camping stuff?
00:39:57Um
00:39:59An odyssey, yes
00:40:00Journey
00:40:02Camping thing
00:40:03Why are you here?
00:40:06Just wanted to bring back, you know, the rest of your stuff
00:40:08Oh, yeah, thank you
00:40:09Yes
00:40:12I wanted to talk
00:40:13You know, I just
00:40:14Everything happened so fast
00:40:16Well, you threw me out
00:40:17Well, you threw me out
00:40:17It's kind of hard to do that any slower
00:40:19I know, I know
00:40:19I was just so confused
00:40:20Ow
00:40:21You know, Carol, I actually
00:40:22I have a lot of, uh, training
00:40:25A lot of things
00:40:27That I need to, um
00:40:28Okay
00:40:29Get done for this
00:40:31Lots
00:40:35Why do you have all that stuff in your bag
00:40:38I was just on my way to Goodwill
00:40:46Jesus, holy shit
00:40:47How do you know where I'm staying?
00:40:49Lesson two
00:40:50Find the truth
00:40:51Find the truth
00:40:53Is that crack?
00:40:54You can't bring that here
00:40:57It's DMT
00:40:58The spirit molecule
00:41:01Oh, okay
00:41:02Have you experienced it?
00:41:03Yeah, I'm, yeah
00:41:04For sure
00:41:05What?
00:41:06I mean, I've read about it in Vice
00:41:08We need to smoke it
00:41:09Clear your soul
00:41:10And to explore your mind
00:41:14That's your training?
00:41:17DMT
00:41:18Is about
00:41:19Crossing to the other side
00:41:21About finding a truth
00:41:24You know what truth you're looking for?
00:41:28Um
00:41:29I, I, well
00:41:30I kind of wish I had a little bit more time to prepare
00:41:33But, um
00:41:33What's the truth?
00:41:34I'm sorry
00:41:35I thought if I, if I told you the truth
00:41:37Then it wouldn't come true
00:41:40What?
00:41:42That's a birthday wish
00:41:45You're thinking about a birthday wish
00:42:02Okay
00:42:04Come with us, Jason
00:42:10Come
00:42:12Who are you?
00:42:13We are the being supreme
00:42:15Come with us
00:42:17We will show you the DNA of the universe
00:42:20We will show the answer to all
00:42:30You like sports
00:42:34Not really
00:42:39Did you train a lot of people to live in the wilderness?
00:42:41No way, man
00:42:45So what do you do?
00:42:47I stay alive, man
00:42:49Okay
00:42:50So he's in good hands, huh?
00:42:54Who?
00:42:57Jason
00:43:00Him
00:43:04Huh
00:43:05He's got great hands
00:43:11So you slept with Carol
00:43:12And you feel guilty about it
00:43:13Because you care about Mona
00:43:15I guess I do care about her
00:43:16But the Odyssey
00:43:17Is what I've got going on right now
00:43:20Do you think she'll be upset
00:43:22That you cheated on her?
00:43:23Whoa, whoa
00:43:24We aren't dating
00:43:25So what's your question?
00:43:27About the Odyssey
00:43:28It's like John Locke said
00:43:30On the mountain of truth
00:43:31You can never climb in
00:43:33That's Nietzsche
00:43:36No, I think it's Locke
00:43:37We assure you
00:43:39It's Nietzsche
00:43:40We know all
00:43:41Pretty sure it's Locke
00:43:43I have my PhD in philosophy
00:43:45From Penn
00:43:48Penn State
00:43:50Yeah
00:43:51You tell people you went to Penn
00:43:53So they think you went to UPenn
00:43:56But you went to Penn State
00:43:58I'm not lying
00:43:59I think we're done here
00:44:01Wait
00:44:02You were going to tell me a truth
00:44:03The truth is
00:44:04Jason
00:44:06Quit
00:44:09You won't last a week
00:44:24What did you see?
00:44:28Gnomes
00:44:31Little gnomes
00:44:33Just
00:44:33Say it
00:44:35They said
00:44:37Well they told me
00:44:39Oh Jesus
00:44:42They said
00:44:48They told me not to quit
00:44:51Huh
00:44:53They told me to double down
00:44:55And go for it
00:44:56A spirit molecule
00:45:00Told you
00:45:01A truth
00:45:04Listen
00:45:04Trust me
00:45:06I will
00:45:09I'm going to need some cash for drugs
00:45:14What'd you think?
00:45:16Of what?
00:45:18Breakfast
00:45:18I'm trying to hit up the top 10 best brunch places according to Yelp before all my savings run out
00:45:24It was okay
00:45:27So like three stars?
00:45:28I'll be honest with you
00:45:29I don't get the brunch craze
00:45:31You know people wait in line for two hours for mimosas and french toast
00:45:35Like come on
00:45:37Is it going to make you fly?
00:45:38Is it going to save your marriage?
00:45:40It's just breakfast
00:45:43You okay?
00:45:44I'm fine
00:45:45Yeah
00:45:46Okay
00:45:50I heard Blake
00:45:51Girl yesterday
00:45:53Uh yeah
00:45:54Wow
00:45:57That was actually
00:45:58That was me
00:46:00Blake?
00:46:02No um
00:46:02My ex
00:46:04Showed up
00:46:04And
00:46:05It was kind of like a goodbye thing
00:46:07I think
00:46:08Oh
00:46:09Yeah
00:46:12Is that what you want to tell me?
00:46:15Wow
00:46:16I was going to tell you I tried DMT
00:46:19You know
00:46:19And I saw my truth
00:46:21Wait wait wait
00:46:21You f***ed your ex-girlfriend
00:46:24And you weren't
00:46:26Going to tell me?
00:46:29Mona
00:46:30I was going to tell you
00:46:31Yeah
00:46:33Listen
00:46:34I told you that I wasn't looking for anything
00:46:37Okay?
00:46:38I remember
00:46:47Come on man
00:46:48You hesitate for a second in nature
00:46:49And you're dead
00:46:50Dead
00:46:52Damn it
00:46:53Maybe it's the kindling
00:46:54Maybe it's the wrong stuff
00:46:56The kindling's not weak
00:46:58It's your spirit man
00:46:59Your spirit
00:47:08It's not the kindling is it?
00:47:11I don't know man
00:47:13Alright no one bit
00:47:15Which means there's no book
00:47:17Which means there's no odyssey
00:47:22I get it
00:47:24You're going to let the approval
00:47:27Of some shitty ass
00:47:29Publishing company
00:47:31Get between you
00:47:32And fucking nature
00:47:39No it's not
00:47:42It's different
00:47:45Michelangelo
00:47:45Needed a ceiling
00:47:47The Beatles
00:47:48Needed a record deal
00:47:50You
00:47:51Want to live in the wilderness
00:47:53You don't need
00:47:54Shit
00:47:55Shit
00:47:58Oh
00:47:58Oh
00:47:59Oh
00:48:01Oh
00:48:03Oh
00:48:06Oh
00:48:09Oh
00:48:09Oh
00:48:10Oh
00:48:12Oh
00:48:13God
00:48:13Oh
00:48:14Oh
00:48:16Okay
00:48:17Come on
00:48:18Come on
00:48:19Come on
00:48:19You got this
00:48:20Come on
00:48:22Alright
00:48:22I just
00:48:23Wrap
00:48:24There you go
00:48:25Tight
00:48:28Keep it
00:48:29Keep it
00:48:29Look
00:48:30Here it is
00:48:38Expired?
00:48:39I had 0% APR for years
00:48:42I'm a good customer
00:48:44I was late for one day
00:48:46And I'm punished?
00:48:47Can I speak to your supervisor
00:48:48Your manager
00:48:49Or somebody
00:48:49Literally anybody else but you
00:48:52No don't put me on hold
00:48:54No
00:48:55No just leave me on the phone
00:48:56And then you go get somebody
00:48:57Hello?
00:49:01What?
00:49:02What?
00:49:03Excuse me
00:49:04I just wanted to know if you wanted to dance
00:49:08Opa
00:49:09You know
00:49:11Alright
00:49:12Look
00:49:13I'm sorry
00:49:14Alright
00:49:15I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings
00:49:16I really am
00:49:17But
00:49:19Look
00:49:19I miss hanging out with you
00:49:20I do
00:49:22And I think that the two of us should
00:49:24Hang out and spend some time together before I go off into the wilderness and cut off all human contact
00:49:29So please
00:49:32So please
00:49:32Can't you just hang out with me?
00:49:33Spin
00:49:34Look at that
00:49:37Is that a smile?
00:49:39No
00:49:39Is she smiling?
00:49:40No
00:49:40Oh my god
00:49:41The witch isn't dead
00:49:44So
00:49:44Um
00:49:47How's life?
00:49:49Well I'm broke
00:49:50And
00:49:51I don't even know what bills I need to pay
00:49:54And
00:49:55I live like this now
00:49:57Hello Miss Harris
00:49:58Oh
00:49:58Okay just
00:49:59Let me coach you through this
00:50:00No no no no
00:50:01Alright
00:50:02Now ask how she's doing
00:50:03How you doing?
00:50:05How are you doing?
00:50:07Is
00:50:07Is your day good?
00:50:09It's okay
00:50:09You know
00:50:10But
00:50:10At least the weather is good
00:50:12Where is she?
00:50:13Where are you?
00:50:14Where is your call center?
00:50:16Kentucky
00:50:16Kentucky
00:50:17You love Kentucky
00:50:18Exaggerate
00:50:19Oh I love Kentucky
00:50:20Yeah it's great
00:50:21It's so
00:50:22Vast
00:50:23And
00:50:24Um
00:50:24There's lots of planes
00:50:26And
00:50:27The great university
00:50:29Lots of libraries
00:50:30And
00:50:31Ooh wildcats
00:50:32Go
00:50:32I like it too
00:50:34So how can I help you Miss Harris?
00:50:36I know this isn't your problem
00:50:37Okay I know this isn't your problem
00:50:38And
00:50:38I know it's a headache
00:50:40And I know it's a headache
00:50:43Is there any way that you can help me?
00:50:45Is there any way you can help me with my APR situation?
00:50:49Please
00:50:50Please
00:50:54I guess just this one time
00:50:58Great
00:50:59Thank you
00:51:00Can I put you on hold?
00:51:01Yeah
00:51:02Sure
00:51:04Sure
00:51:04How did you do that?
00:51:05I owe a lot of money to many different places
00:51:09Well
00:51:10For someone who's gonna be alone in the wilderness you're really good with people
00:51:14So what do you say, huh?
00:51:17Let's hang out again
00:51:18You know we can go to dinner
00:51:20I can show you that dance move
00:51:22It's very easy
00:51:23Or you can teach me how to dance
00:51:24Um
00:51:25Um
00:51:26Uh
00:51:27Yeah
00:51:28Yeah
00:51:28We can um
00:51:29I have a
00:51:30Pre-Christmas dinner party
00:51:33That I'm gonna have
00:51:36Alright
00:51:37What about this one?
00:51:39Sure
00:51:39What is it?
00:51:41It is a um
00:51:42It's fine
00:51:43Open it
00:51:44It's fine
00:51:44Alright
00:51:45Why don't you like him?
00:51:47He cheated on her
00:51:49He had sex with his ex
00:51:50Yeah I wanna say they weren't together when that happened though
00:51:54Look
00:51:54Having a boyfriend
00:51:56Healthy
00:51:56Having random guys for fun
00:51:59Is healthy
00:52:00But what she's doing
00:52:01This shit
00:52:02That's not healthy
00:52:03I don't think having sex with random guys is that healthy
00:52:06No see
00:52:07That's bullshit
00:52:08Why is it to be feminist right now?
00:52:10You have to completely desexualize
00:52:12Sometimes I like dressing hot
00:52:14Sometimes I like having men look at me
00:52:16And you know what?
00:52:17I actually like my thigh gap
00:52:18I think it's sexy
00:52:20So I'm just what?
00:52:21Like persona non grata at hofpo?
00:52:24Hashtag women against feminism
00:52:27An odyssey
00:52:28Right?
00:52:29Why an odyssey?
00:52:31Well it's a voyage
00:52:33Really
00:52:33Kind of a self exploration
00:52:36It's not that I'm anti-feminist
00:52:38It's just that
00:52:39I like to stand for things that try to push me out of the feminism movement
00:52:43Blake
00:52:44It's Blake, right?
00:52:45What's your perspective on this?
00:52:46No, no
00:52:47Don't ask him
00:52:48He's just gonna say something stupid like women be crazy or whatever
00:52:50So in the odyssey
00:52:52Odysseus was trying to find his way back home
00:52:56But you, you're leaving home to go live in the woods
00:52:58And then you're coming back
00:52:59So that's not an odyssey
00:53:02Well it's an internal odyssey
00:53:04I've always felt that fourth wave feminism was
00:53:06Seizing an equal seat at the table without rejecting femininity entirely
00:53:10I mean, Marissa Mayer
00:53:11She's wearing heels to work, right?
00:53:14What about Tina Fey?
00:53:15She has an Amex commercial
00:53:17And then she has a Garnier commercial
00:53:19I don't know
00:53:20I mean, I feel like it's kinda hard for me to chime in on this
00:53:22I mean, how can I empathize with a woman if I'm just a man?
00:53:24But then again
00:53:27That's what empathy is, huh?
00:53:29Heh
00:53:29I don't know, that's
00:53:30I can get a refill
00:53:32You girls want some Subblanc?
00:53:33Sure
00:53:33Sure
00:53:36Why don't you call it Walden Pond?
00:53:38Into the wild
00:53:39Okay, Krakauer was a poser
00:53:41And a liar, to be honest with you
00:53:43So I...
00:53:43Okay, alright
00:53:44This isn't about Krakauer
00:53:46This is about your pretentious experiment
00:53:48Pretentious?
00:53:48I mean, a little
00:53:51Who, uh, who's publishing this?
00:53:54What was it?
00:53:54What'd you ask?
00:53:56Okay
00:53:57Oh!
00:53:58We've got turkey
00:53:59Mac and cheese
00:54:00Salad
00:54:01Reaping
00:54:02Let me help, let me help here
00:54:03Lots of stuff
00:54:04This looks fantastic
00:54:05Thank you
00:54:06Awesome
00:54:07Let me put that there
00:54:09Pardon
00:54:10And I will take the mac and cheese
00:54:11This looks amazing
00:54:13Thank you
00:54:14Congratulations
00:54:14People won't say that enough
00:54:16When it comes to food
00:54:17Congratulations
00:54:18Thanks
00:54:18Thank you
00:54:19Now I'm going
00:54:21Who is that?
00:54:24It's probably Gerard
00:54:26What?
00:54:27Who?
00:54:29Gerard
00:54:30Your mentor
00:54:32I invited him
00:54:33Uh, why?
00:54:36Why not?
00:54:37He's, um, Jason's mentor
00:54:39Don't you want to introduce everybody to your mentor, Jason?
00:54:43Aww
00:54:46Well, it's just, I don't know if we have enough food
00:54:48You know, I don't want to
00:54:49Are you kidding?
00:54:50There's going to be leftovers for weeks
00:54:52Yeah
00:54:52What are your food?
00:54:53Okay
00:54:53And I guess I'll go get them
00:54:55I'll go get, uh, I'll go get Gerard
00:54:59No, it's all right
00:55:01No, it's all right
00:55:14Okay
00:55:14Gerard, it's so nice to finally meet you
00:55:16I feel like Jason's been hiding you
00:55:17I know, how did you guys even meet anyway?
00:55:19I've never had a mentor
00:55:20Believe it or not, we met at the bus stop
00:55:22Hmm
00:55:23Yeah, he, uh, he told me about his project
00:55:25His odyssey
00:55:27I was a SEAL, so I offered to help him prepare
00:55:30Mm-hmm
00:55:31Wow
00:55:31That is so cool
00:55:33Well, this turkey's delicious
00:55:35Oh, thank you
00:55:36I like your...pie?
00:55:39Meat pie, can you try it?
00:55:40Mm-hmm
00:55:41It's delicious
00:55:42It's so mild
00:55:44I can't stand how people over-salt food today
00:55:46Gerard, do you have any kids?
00:55:49Yeah
00:55:51I have nine children
00:55:52Oh my God
00:55:52Nine, wow
00:55:54Two of them died
00:55:56Oh, I'm so sorry, I really had no idea
00:55:59I'm batting a .820
00:56:01It's actually 777
00:56:03Really?
00:56:04No, not
00:56:04It's a .778
00:56:05Not the time
00:56:06Can I get a little more of the pie, please?
00:56:08I cannot stop eating this
00:56:10Seriously, I'm gonna put this on my blog
00:56:12Where do you live?
00:56:13I live under the bridge across the street
00:56:19Don't you guys think we should move to dessert?
00:56:20Gerard, I think
00:56:21I would actually...
00:56:22I'd like some dessert, yeah
00:56:23Gerard, I need this recipe from you
00:56:24What meat is in this?
00:56:27That's dog food and potatoes
00:56:30I want you to sour, can I sour?
00:56:38What are you doing?
00:56:39No, no, no, you don't have to do this
00:56:41You're a guest
00:56:43Yeah
00:56:43Sorry
00:56:48You know your friends are nice
00:56:50Yeah
00:56:52And I'm really sorry about
00:56:54Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it
00:56:57We'll talk about this party for years
00:56:59Thanks to you and your mentor
00:57:01Yeah, he's actually a really nice guy
00:57:03He seems nice
00:57:05And he knows his shit, like
00:57:12No, I'm serious, stop, stop
00:57:17Thanks for coming
00:57:18Thank you for having me
00:57:20It was a lot of fun
00:57:21Yeah, it was
00:57:24You sure you don't need help cleaning?
00:57:26I'm good
00:57:26Are you sure?
00:57:27Yeah, I'm good
00:57:28You're really sure?
00:57:28I am, thank you
00:57:29Because I know when you say you're good, you don't mean you're good
00:57:30No, I really am good
00:57:31What if you watch a movie?
00:57:32Um, no, I think
00:57:33I think you should watch a movie
00:57:34I think it's best if you go downstairs
00:57:35Are you?
00:57:36Okay, yeah
00:57:36Are you sure?
00:57:37Yep
00:57:37But it's Christmas
00:57:45Looks like we got breakfast
00:57:48Would you like to do the honors?
00:57:50What?
00:57:52You could strangle him
00:57:53Or knock him in the head
00:57:55Your choice
00:57:57I have to kill him?
00:58:00Oh, you could get him a job at Disneyland
00:58:02Would you like that?
00:58:05Fuck
00:58:05You wanna survive in the woods?
00:58:07And you can't kill a rabbit?
00:58:09I just, I didn't consider it
00:58:11Oh
00:58:12Consider it
00:58:19It's you or him, man
00:58:49Can you tell me more about this study?
00:58:52Do you smoke pot ever?
00:58:55Yes, I have
00:59:05How many?
00:59:0630
00:59:07I paid 80 for it
00:59:0930
00:59:1030
00:59:12How many?
00:59:15£100
00:59:16No
00:59:16No
00:59:16No
00:59:32we're researching the effects of laying in bed while smoking pot so that's really all you have
00:59:37to do lay in bed and smoke pot okay um what's the stipend ten grand okay
00:59:45it's broken no no it's not broken it's in good condition it's made a lot of toast for me and
00:59:55bagels and English weapons and mostly bread products yeah
01:00:12yeah okay yeah yeah yep coming in how long three months and you can't leave or get out of bed
01:00:25or stop smoking pot it's for NASA
01:01:01for my whole life if I ever wanted anything I set a goal and then I figured out how to
01:01:07reach that goal
01:01:09and then I would just get it so when Cassie got that promotion I did not know how to handle
01:01:15it
01:01:17like everything just turned upside down left was right up was down I get that I went out to go
01:01:27find
01:01:27myself and I think what I found was that myself is a workaholic I love to work I love having
01:01:38a job
01:01:39I love having money this is 115% confidential but it's not working out with Cassie really she's so
01:01:56fantastic with our clients but what she's impossible to reach on the weekends or after hours or during
01:02:06normal working business hours that makes sense listen I'm willing to overlook our little incident if
01:02:18you'll come back back like come back to work yeah we really miss you Mona we miss your relentless
01:02:29diligence and your tireless efforts 30 hours a day eight days a week we think I'll see you Monday sounds
01:02:40good
01:03:19hey I gotta go pick up Rebecca okay do you think I can have those backdated credit transactions by tomorrow
01:03:24say yes yes yeah yes awesome thank you so much
01:03:48my glasses look good thank you
01:03:57hey
01:04:00what it's a good thing I have an English professor fetish
01:04:03it's a good thing I went to college
01:04:05I sleep tonight I'll be dreaming of you Abigail my Abigail keep the fire alive keep the wedding bed warm
01:04:14Abigail my Abigail tell the baby I miss her and I'm coming home
01:04:45I'm coming home
01:04:48C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
01:04:59C'mon.
01:05:00Oh!
01:05:01Oh!
01:05:02Ha ha ha ha ha!
01:05:04Woo hoo hoo!
01:05:06Yes!
01:05:07Yes!
01:05:28Gerard?
01:05:34Gerard?
01:05:40No, I'm not related to him.
01:05:43No, his last name is Kinsey.
01:05:45K-I-N-S-E-Y.
01:05:49Kinsey, yes.
01:05:53But then you have the wrong person.
01:05:55Alright?
01:05:56That's the wrong person.
01:06:03Whoa!
01:06:05What?
01:06:06No, no.
01:06:08Sir, Gerard Kinsey was a war hero.
01:06:14Wait, what?
01:06:19So he was never in the Army?
01:06:20The Navy.
01:06:22Well, he wasn't in either, but...
01:06:24No, he was, man.
01:06:26He was in it for two weeks, and then he washed out, got discharged.
01:06:29Huh?
01:06:30He had asthma.
01:06:32Adult onset asthma.
01:06:34You know, I know he had a plan for me.
01:06:36He did.
01:06:37He just died before he had a chance to reveal the bigger picture.
01:06:43Maybe he was gonna tell me that the truth is relative.
01:06:46Wait.
01:06:48Are you still going?
01:06:50It's just a little setback.
01:06:53Your survivalism mentor, the guy who trained you to survive, froze to death.
01:07:00In Los Angeles.
01:07:07Jack Kerouac once said, that I hope when a man dies, not only does he live in others, but he
01:07:13gives them life.
01:07:14Not only life, but the great consciousness of life.
01:07:19Gerard, you may have lied to me, but you gave me consciousness.
01:07:24And for what it's worth, your commitment to that lie was inspiring.
01:07:32This is bullshit, man.
01:07:38Aw, shit.
01:07:42Well, come on.
01:07:45This is crazy.
01:07:46You could die.
01:07:48Yeah, alright, I guess.
01:07:50Then why are you doing it?
01:07:51You know...
01:07:54Look at me.
01:07:55Look at me.
01:07:57I'm getting old, man.
01:07:59You know what?
01:08:00Every day I look in the mirror, and I see my face, and you know what I see?
01:08:03I see my dad's.
01:08:04And I'm nothing compared to him.
01:08:08I have to do something.
01:08:09I have to do something, man.
01:08:12Otherwise, I'm just gonna end up with some old sack of shit who hasn't...
01:08:16Who can't do anything.
01:08:23And this is that?
01:08:32Yeah, you're lying.
01:08:33You're lying to yourself.
01:08:35And that's fine.
01:08:37Everybody does it at some point in their life, man.
01:08:39This isn't who you are.
01:08:39And who am I?
01:08:41You're a writer.
01:08:42You're a f***er.
01:08:43You're a nice guy.
01:08:46You're my friend.
01:08:49And I'm scared for you.
01:08:52Look, if you want to live a normal fucking life, and have two and a half babies and get a
01:08:56job, I'll never make fun of you.
01:08:58I promise ever I won't say a f***ing word.
01:09:00You can stay on my couch until you figure out whatever this bullshit is that you need, and I will
01:09:04never say anything.
01:09:08Do you think I'll last more than a week?
01:09:12Yeah.
01:09:13Yeah.
01:09:18Okay.
01:09:18I wanna go now.
01:09:32You hungry?
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39I could eat.
01:09:41I want...
01:09:42I don't care what it is, but I want something like this.
01:09:46I know exactly what I want.
01:09:48I don't care.
01:09:48I just want Mexican.
01:09:52Me too.
01:10:01Come with me.
01:10:04What?
01:10:05On the Odyssey.
01:10:07Come with me.
01:10:14I love you.
01:10:19You don't have to do a thing.
01:10:21I'll cook.
01:10:22I'll catch the food.
01:10:24I'll pitch the tents.
01:10:26I'll start the fire.
01:10:27I'm ready for this.
01:10:31Um...
01:10:32But won't that...
01:10:34defeat the purpose of being alone?
01:10:43I love you too.
01:10:48Come with me.
01:10:50Come with me.
01:10:54Stay.
01:11:38You're so sorry.
01:11:39I'm leaving.
01:11:39You're leaving.
01:11:42I'm leaving.
01:11:42I'm leaving.
01:11:43I'm leaving.
01:11:44I'm leaving.
01:11:44I'm leaving.
01:11:46I'm leaving.
01:11:46I'm leaving.
01:11:47I'll keep the place.
01:12:18I have been floating away, my arms are getting tired underneath, I don't want to leave, not for
01:12:45all the gold and I see, goodbye.
01:12:52Goodbye.
01:13:02Goodbye.
01:13:04Goodbye.
01:13:16Goodbye.
01:13:24Goodbye.
01:13:29Goodbye.
01:13:32How's it going?
01:13:36Let's see here, I have a line.
01:13:40Just bag it.
01:13:42Yeah, so have you been up to Frostbite Falls?
01:13:45It's pretty nice this time of year.
01:13:49Is the weather like up on that mountain?
01:13:50Could you please just bag it?
01:13:52Please, I'm sorry. Just f*** it.
01:13:58Have a great day!
01:14:11I wanna go home.
01:14:15I feel so break up.
01:14:18I wanna go home.
01:14:23First mate, he got drunk.
01:14:26Tore up the people's trunk.
01:14:29Hey, Mom.
01:14:30Constable had to come and take him away.
01:14:53Okay, kiddo. Out with it.
01:14:58Alright, well, the first few days were cake.
01:15:01You know, I gathered berries. I trapped a rabbit.
01:15:05I made a fire.
01:15:07The first night was actually kind of warm,
01:15:09so I just pulled the sleeping bag out and slept under the stars.
01:15:14In the daytime, I didn't do much.
01:15:16Walked around and read books.
01:15:18Checked the traps.
01:15:21Everything was kind of going to plan.
01:15:24And it was so beautiful.
01:15:26It was very beautiful.
01:15:33And so boring.
01:15:34It was so boring.
01:15:35I mean boring.
01:15:36And it rained.
01:15:38It just f***ing rained.
01:15:40It would not stop raining.
01:15:41Just freezing as s***.
01:15:43And then I got diarrhea.
01:15:44And then after a few days,
01:15:46this vulture just landed by the camp
01:15:48and started staring at me.
01:15:50So I tried to shoo him away.
01:15:51And then the next day I woke up
01:15:53and there were two of them.
01:15:54And then five and I lost it.
01:15:57I just...
01:15:58I was that.
01:15:59I failed.
01:16:01Just not dead.
01:16:08You were nothing like your father.
01:16:10And that is a good thing.
01:16:12He was a man's man.
01:16:13What?
01:16:14Really?
01:16:15Is that what you think?
01:16:16I mean what?
01:16:17Please explain this to me.
01:16:19I want to hear it.
01:16:20Okay, he was stoic, alright?
01:16:22He was self-reliant.
01:16:24He could make fires.
01:16:26He could build a trap.
01:16:27He used to leave us alone.
01:16:28So he could go f***ing around in the woods.
01:16:30He could live on his own.
01:16:32He was self-sufficient.
01:16:34He would drive to a campground,
01:16:36meet his buddies,
01:16:37and they would drink beer and shoot guns.
01:16:43Look at me.
01:16:49This wilderness thing.
01:16:52I think it's about time you f***ing failed.
01:16:55I fail all the time.
01:16:57No.
01:16:58You quit.
01:16:58You quit before you learn things about yourself.
01:17:03You play it safe.
01:17:05But this time, you put it all out there.
01:17:09You put all your chips on the table.
01:17:14How long did you stay out there?
01:17:17Eight days.
01:17:18Eight days!
01:17:20That is huge!
01:17:22Good job, Jay!
01:17:24There it is.
01:17:26There it is.
01:17:27A smile.
01:17:27Okay.
01:17:28A smile.
01:17:29Mwah!
01:17:30Mom of the year.
01:17:32Oh, yeah.
01:17:34You fail.
01:17:36And then you move on.
01:17:38And you learn from that.
01:17:39And you fail again.
01:17:41But maybe you should start thinking about what you're going to fail at next.
01:17:56The figures are right.
01:17:58I've run the numbers a dozen times.
01:17:59Well, the numbers don't matter until the clients sign off.
01:18:02And if they don't commit, you know, you always do this.
01:18:05You always get hung up on numbers.
01:18:08Yes?
01:18:08We're a team.
01:18:09I know.
01:18:09And I would like it if you can trust me with the numbers.
01:18:13I'm great at numbers.
01:18:15You're great at making beautiful presentations.
01:18:17You're like the Da Vinci of PowerPoint.
01:18:21So what I would like is if you could put these numbers into the greatest presentation that corporate America has
01:18:28ever seen.
01:18:29Can we do that?
01:18:33Yeah.
01:18:34What the fuck?
01:18:37Mona!
01:18:39Oh.
01:18:40Oh!
01:18:44Let's take a five.
01:18:45Okay.
01:18:46Alright.
01:18:47What are you doing here?
01:18:49You know this dude?
01:18:50Kind of.
01:18:51Speak.
01:18:52Fine.
01:18:52Alright.
01:18:53Okay.
01:18:53Look.
01:18:54Mona, I was not meant to live in the wilderness.
01:18:58Okay?
01:18:59Obviously.
01:18:59What does that have to do with me?
01:19:00Look, my whole life I have tried to live up to my father because he is a man's man.
01:19:06Okay?
01:19:07Alright.
01:19:08I get that.
01:19:09And I had this idea in my head that I had to live that way because that's how a man
01:19:13should live.
01:19:14But it turns out that my father, he's a lie too.
01:19:18And I'm sick of it.
01:19:19I don't want to live in a lie.
01:19:20So here it goes.
01:19:23Hi.
01:19:24I'm Jason.
01:19:26Okay.
01:19:27Alright.
01:19:28I'm Jason.
01:19:29And I like the indoors.
01:19:31Okay?
01:19:31I like being indoors and watching documentaries and reading books.
01:19:35And I like to smoke pot.
01:19:37I like to smoke pot.
01:19:38And I like to make people smile.
01:19:40I like to make you smile, Mona.
01:19:43Because I like you a lot.
01:19:45No, don't do it.
01:19:46I see it right there.
01:19:47Right in your face.
01:19:48I can see it.
01:19:49Look at you.
01:19:50You're trying to plot this out in the graph of your life.
01:19:52You're trying to see if this datum, you know, makes any sense or reason.
01:19:57What did you say?
01:20:00I'm just trying to explain that I helped you shut off your brain.
01:20:04No, before that you said datum.
01:20:07Yeah, datum.
01:20:08You know, the signaler of data.
01:20:11I hate when people get that wrong.
01:20:14Yeah.
01:20:15Me too.
01:20:19You sure?
01:20:20Yeah.
01:20:49That one's not too bad, actually.
01:20:51You know, the bottle opener's a little hard to get at, but the blade never gets tall.
01:20:55Oh, great.
01:20:56Nice.
01:20:56Nice.
01:20:57And how about that red one?
01:20:59That one is shit.
01:21:01Poop.
01:21:02Okay.
01:21:03Oh, and what about this one?
01:21:05The transformer-looking one.
01:21:07I like your taste.
01:21:08Yeah, that's a good one.
01:21:09This one's expensive, but it's awesome, dude.
01:21:11This is actually the one I have.
01:21:12Really?
01:21:12Yeah.
01:21:13And you're a camper, right?
01:21:15I mean, yeah, obviously.
01:21:16Oh, yeah.
01:21:16You camping a lot?
01:21:17Well, I don't like to tell this story, but, you know, I spent a week living in the wilderness.
01:21:24A week?
01:21:25Oh.
01:21:26Like, like, like, seven days.
01:21:29Like, just...
01:21:30A week, and then six months.
01:21:34In the wilderness.
01:21:35What?
01:21:36Alone.
01:21:38Me.
01:21:38My thoughts.
01:21:40My journal.
01:21:41You're not kidding.
01:21:42This.
01:21:44Oh, yeah.
01:21:45The real.
01:21:46Wow.
01:21:47I'll take it.
01:21:48I'll take it.
01:21:48Immediately.
01:21:49That's my guy.
01:21:50Okay.
01:21:55I think, too, you really want to try.
01:21:57Yeah?
01:21:58Let's go start.
01:22:16We're teaching.
01:22:17How you get.
01:22:18We're cool.
01:22:19We know the good.
01:22:22Yeah?
01:22:22It's pretty hard.
01:22:24Getting sick.
01:22:25All right.
01:22:26And what?
01:22:26You're going through.
01:22:29I know.
01:22:30I know.
01:22:33I know.
01:22:34I know.
01:22:36I know.
01:22:37But I guess we can't speak.
01:22:39And it's getting better.
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