- 18 hours ago
Celebrity Gogglebox - Episode 4
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00:00Oh, I'll tell you what, it's been so hot, isn't it, recently?
00:02Oh, it's been absolutely rank. Last night, I was sweating.
00:06Oh, me too. I slept on the sofa last night.
00:10I came down here.
00:11You slept here? Yeah, yeah.
00:13Yeah. What? You sleep naked, don't you?
00:16Yeah. Oh, that's rank. Yeah, completely naked.
00:19That's rank. Why are we sat here, then?
00:21Yeah. You don't wash that.
00:23Well, you ain't gonna get germs.
00:25You sleep naked. You sweat out, isn't that?
00:31Oh, I didn't talk.
00:33Here we go, high-octane stuff.
00:35Reese Witherspoon. Hold on a minute.
00:38Ah, you see her?
00:40This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:46Guest armour, sheer drama.
00:48Oh, he's got the one-liners.
00:49That's what we're going wrong. We need to meet an otter.
00:51How to Speak Without Saying Anything, Volumes 1, 2 and 3.
00:55Cover yourself in bovril.
00:58And let's get on with it.
01:00In the week we sweltered in record temperatures,
01:03we enjoyed lots of great telling.
01:07It was Only Girls Aloud on BBC Three.
01:14Hi, am I here? How's the way?
01:16Are you in Scotland?
01:17Yeah.
01:18Yeah, you saw my job.
01:19You said to me, the night before we first met,
01:23because we've been chatting on the phone,
01:24you said to me,
01:25are you excited about tomorrow,
01:28the day that you meet your future husband?
01:33I used to say that to all of them.
01:34Well, I was going to say,
01:35it was bound to work once, wasn't it?
01:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:37Yeah, you're frying off shit on the wall,
01:39then it's something that's stick, isn't it?
01:40Thanks.
01:41The political soap opera continued on BBC One.
01:45Absent from the celebrations in Makerfield this morning
01:48was the Prime Minister,
01:49Sir Keir Starmer,
01:50who knows an imminent threat to his premiership,
01:53is now steaming to Westminster.
01:54You know they're also going to move Downing Street up north?
01:57Did you know that?
01:59For Andy Burnham?
02:00Yeah.
02:01So they're going to move Downing Street up north.
02:03Good.
02:04And they're getting rid of the Trafford Centre,
02:05and it's just going to be a big house of the Parliament.
02:09And it was non-stop action
02:11on the streets of Northampton on Channel 5.
02:19Do you know, with the font where it said police interceptors,
02:22that reminded me of something like Total Recall or RoboCop.
02:27It could have just been Arial Bold, but it wasn't.
02:30It was some sort of sci-fi.
02:31You're paying too much attention.
02:33No, I know, but I do analyse all of these things, so, you know...
02:36It's a bit much.
02:37I don't, you know, I think it's...
02:38I wouldn't go into the font of the title.
02:40No, right, OK, the font of the title, that's autistic, isn't it?
02:43That is autistic. That's very autistic.
02:44Let's just carry on.
02:45Yeah.
02:53In Brighton...
02:54Honestly, I can't believe it.
02:55My cousin had a barbecue, and we were all out.
02:58Good friends Joe and Maisie.
03:00And then my nephew ran across, and he's only, like, five,
03:03and he just tipped all of the drinks out of the ice bucket,
03:07and he just sat in it himself, in his pants.
03:09And I was like, I'd love to be five.
03:11I'd love to be able to get away with that.
03:12Yeah, and that really surprises me, that you don't do that.
03:16If I did that, they'd be like, Maisie's having a breakdown.
03:18If I took everything off except my pants
03:20and went and sat in the drinks bucket...
03:22Yeah.
03:23You'd think that would just be, oh, that's Maisie, ignore her.
03:26Oi, next time we have a barbecue,
03:28I'll make sure there's an extra big bucket for you.
03:30Just for me to go and sit in in my pants?
03:32And if it gets too hot for you...
03:33Yeah.
03:34..do that, please keep your pants on.
03:36OK.
03:37Probably insist on some sort of top.
03:39Great.
03:39On Saturday night, it was thinking caps at the ready again on ITV.
03:44Have you ever been part of a club before?
03:46The Rounders Club.
03:48Any good?
03:49I hit it far, and I ran for me life,
03:52but they didn't sign me up forever,
03:54so that's when I realised hitting a ball is not for me.
03:57I'm not good with balls.
03:59But...
04:02You're better at swimming.
04:04Yeah, it takes the water.
04:08I've never got very far in this of you.
04:11I don't get very far in anything.
04:14I think I might be fine about not being in the 1% club, though, actually.
04:16Well, I am.
04:17It feels like quite a high bar.
04:17I've got to 44 years without being in it, so...
04:20Yeah, yeah.
04:20You're all right.
04:21So, this is one that 90% of our survey got right.
04:23Let's see how you get along.
04:25Right.
04:25Don't talk over it.
04:26Don't answer before I get a chance to read it.
04:31Which two-word phrase is pictured here?
04:33Your time starts now.
04:35Cold.
04:35What did I...?
04:36Cold feet.
04:38It's cold feet.
04:38Cold feet.
04:39I've got cold feet.
04:40You were right.
04:41It's cold feet.
04:42Which two-word phrase is pictured here?
04:45Frostbite.
04:46Frostbite.
04:47Right, OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:49But how's that with toes?
04:51I don't know.
04:52You got it, yeah?
04:53No, I'm thinking frostbite, but that can't be it.
04:56You not got that?
04:57Cold feet.
04:58There you go.
04:58It's time for the 80% question.
05:00See if we can whittle a few of you away here.
05:01I'm going to get this 80%.
05:02I'm going to get this 80%.
05:04Come on.
05:05Which of these creatures has the same number of letters in its name as the number of legs it has?
05:10Goat.
05:11Well, spider.
05:12One, two, three, four, five, six.
05:14Spider.
05:18Goat.
05:19Goat.
05:20Goat.
05:21No, goat.
05:22It's got to be goat, innit?
05:23Yeah.
05:24But what if your cat has three legs?
05:26Good point.
05:26My mum's dog has three legs, doesn't it?
05:28Yes, it does.
05:28Throw.
05:29Little throw, only got three legs.
05:33Do you know what the kids are saying these days about goat?
05:36It's an acronym.
05:37Greatest of all time.
05:38Greatest of all time.
05:39I've heard it in connection with that thing where the blokes kick the balls around.
05:43It's happening at the moment.
05:44Football.
05:44In America.
05:45Football.
05:45Ghastly football.
05:47That's it.
05:47It's time for the 50% question.
05:50Okay, 50%.
05:51So this is an arty question than the one we've just done.
05:55Yeah.
05:55Which of these puzzle pieces doesn't belong here?
05:58The 30 seconds starts now.
06:00Oh.
06:01Oh.
06:02They're all pictures of King Charles, aren't they?
06:04What do you mean, which of these puzzle pieces doesn't belong?
06:07Three I's, so one of the I's has to go.
06:11And you can use your pass.
06:13It's a D.
06:14Why?
06:15Because it looks like Princess Anne.
06:18C's a different person.
06:20No, it's not.
06:21That's still him.
06:21C's the king, isn't it?
06:22They're all the king.
06:23He's got two right I's, so it's obviously one of those, isn't it?
06:27So I'm going to say it's the one on, it's E.
06:30It's E.
06:33E's not the right one.
06:34It could be.
06:35E's not the right one.
06:36Put me through.
06:38Put me through.
06:38Prince Charles with two right eyes.
06:40Don't go down that route.
06:42I'm not going down that route.
06:43Don't go down that route.
06:44I'm not going down that route.
06:45Stop there.
06:46There you go.
06:47It's E.
06:48Oh.
06:55Stupid, stupid question.
06:57They were all of Charles.
06:58Just so you know, the thing to look out for was actually the nose.
07:01Oh, oh, he's the same person.
07:03Yes.
07:04Ah, you see, ah.
07:05Ah.
07:06With no disrespect to our monarch, his eyes are quite close together.
07:10That made it quite difficult for us.
07:12We are left with the 1% question.
07:14You can get this, I believe in you.
07:17In this puzzle, what four-letter word replaces the missing part of this sentence?
07:23Mr Owl ate my metal feet.
07:27Ate my...
07:28How am I meant to work that out?
07:32What?
07:32I've no idea what's going on here.
07:34There's some sort of pattern because there's similar letters in the first bit to the second bit.
07:40I don't get it.
07:41What am I doing?
07:42Hand?
07:44Wait.
07:44No.
07:45I thought I had it there.
07:49Metal.
07:50Fuck you, Mr Owl.
07:51Ate my metal.
07:53Spooed.
07:54Foul.
07:55Who the fuck is Mr Owl?
07:58Hold on.
07:59It's like almost palindromic, isn't it?
08:01Isn't it that Mr Owl...
08:02So it would be Mr Owl backwards.
08:04It's a word that works the same both ways.
08:07Because look, ate my is in there.
08:09Look, A.
08:09Yeah.
08:10So that's out.
08:11And the word is worm.
08:12Worm.
08:13Worm.
08:16W.
08:18It's something W-R.
08:19Let's have a look at the answer.
08:26It's worm!
08:27Yes!
08:29First time ever.
08:30First time ever.
08:32I got it right, Lee!
08:33I got it right!
08:34Why is it metal worm?
08:36What's metal worm?
08:38I don't know.
08:39Mr Owl ate my metal worm?
08:41That's the maddest thing I've ever heard.
08:43It's a palindrome, so the sentence reads the same backwards.
08:47As forwards.
08:49Oh, I half got it!
08:50I'm so annoyed at myself!
08:52What the fuck's a palindrome?
08:53I need you.
08:54So the sentence reads the same backwards as forwards.
08:57How does that read the same...
09:00I don't know.
09:00Worm, metal, my ate owl, mister.
09:04I don't care.
09:05Yeah.
09:06They just need kicking in the bollocks who came up with this.
09:11In the new forest.
09:13Have you been to the gym today?
09:15I haven't actually, but I need to go later.
09:16Do you want to come?
09:17I'd rather go to a funeral parlour than the gym.
09:20What are you talking about?
09:20I'd be heading to the funeral parlour if I went to the gym.
09:24Chris and his stepdaughter, Megan.
09:27130 Romanian deadlift.
09:29130 kg the other day.
09:30Hold on, let me break that down.
09:32130 Romanian deadlift.
09:34130 kg on a Romanian deadlift.
09:37What's a Romanian deadlift?
09:39That sounds like something horrible from the Second World War.
09:42It would sort your back right out, I can tell you that.
09:45But you wouldn't be able to walk around with it.
09:46So to explain to me, I just, I need it in my mind.
09:48What are you actually doing when you're lifting 150 dead Romanians?
09:53And what does it achieve?
09:54Well, it makes you feel good, and it makes you look good.
09:58Supposedly.
09:59On Monday night, there were more high-speed police pursuits on Channel 5.
10:04Police interceptors!
10:06Yeah, love it.
10:08Call the cops.
10:10In a police chase, who's getting away at me and you?
10:13Pursuit drivers, contact, contact, contact.
10:15I wouldn't get away, cos I indicate.
10:19They just know where I'm going.
10:26I love police interceptors.
10:28I love all the cop shows.
10:29How cold?
10:31I mean, don't be it.
10:31We used to take Crime Watch.
10:33I actually got pulled over once on a motorway for driving too slow,
10:37and I didn't know that was an offence.
10:39They said to me I was driving too slow.
10:40The police pulled me over.
10:43Why is that funny?
10:46It's Sunday, but there's no day of rest for Josh and Alex.
10:50Straight in, that's what I fucking love about this.
10:52You've got to love it.
10:53It's Sunday.
10:54Whoa!
10:55But there's no day of rest for Josh and Alex.
10:58They're in a drug hotspot to check on a suspicious Mercedes.
11:02Why is it suspicious?
11:04Cos it's a Mercedes.
11:05Right.
11:05So is this car stereotyping?
11:07It's not a suspicious car, is it?
11:09They've said it's a suspicious Mercedes.
11:12Yeah.
11:12They decide to spin round...
11:15..because it turns out the Mercedes has markers connecting it to crime.
11:19It's cos it's connected to crime.
11:21OK.
11:21Ooh, what's got crime written on the side of it?
11:24See the end.
11:26OK, here we go.
11:27Here we go.
11:28I don't think they've covered all bases to stop him driving off.
11:31No.
11:31It turns out the car isn't the only thing which has history with the cops.
11:35What, they, like, slept together or what?
11:41Hi, Josh.
11:43Yeah.
11:44Earlier this year, the driver ignored blue lights and was nicked after a high-speed pursuit.
11:49He's been on it before.
11:50Are you going to tell us why you've decided not to stop?
11:52No.
11:53Well, is he a regular?
11:54Yeah, he's been on it.
11:55Do you think he sees it as, like, cameos?
11:58Got another cameo?
12:00I wouldn't police intercept us.
12:01Are you going to tell us why you've decided not to stop?
12:03I didn't know you were the police.
12:05I didn't know you were the police.
12:08I thought the blue lights were decorative.
12:11The court took his licence for six months.
12:16He got it back three weeks ago.
12:20And he's drove off again!
12:22Hey, he's off!
12:22That's what I mean!
12:24That's what I'm done!
12:25Oh, shit, I'm rooting for the criminals.
12:27No, we can't do that.
12:28Right, OK.
12:29Mail's just supposed to stop the fire.
12:30I'm still in Wellingbrook.
12:31Come on, lads.
12:32In the car, quicker.
12:33Did he just hand over his ID and then start off?
12:35There's my ID.
12:35They're going to run it through.
12:37I've got to peg it.
12:38But they've literally got you out of a decent area.
12:40You are.
12:41They keep the target in sight.
12:435 or 6.
12:44He's on the green's way.
12:45But the driver's floored it.
12:47Hey, he's off!
12:48There he is.
12:48Oh, look how exciting he is.
12:49It's good, this pit.
12:50In fact, he's failed, leaving his car, blocking the road.
12:54He's going to run off now.
12:55He's going to get out the car and run off.
12:57It's a great spot to lose the cops with alleyways galore.
13:00It's a great spot to lose the cops.
13:03That's a good line, isn't it?
13:05I don't know, he's gone.
13:07Fucking lost him!
13:09Fucking hell, lads.
13:10A member of the public has pointed us towards the housing and the alleyways.
13:14That's the last known location.
13:16He can't even breathe.
13:18He's on foot.
13:19Oh, God, yeah.
13:20He's on foot.
13:21Oh, wait, just one minute.
13:22Oh, he's dropped the car.
13:24What is it?
13:25You do it.
13:25His ID.
13:28But even with noses on the ground, and eyes in the sky, it's a clean getaway.
13:36Wow.
13:37He's gone?
13:38Yeah.
13:38Thing is, though, he got away now, but unless you're fleeing the country, right, you're done.
13:43Sorry, mate, he gave you a driving license.
13:45Home address is on there.
13:46At the house, they speak to a young woman, who gets the suspect on the phone.
13:55They got him on the phone.
13:57You failed to stop for me.
13:59You know exactly why.
14:00If you don't, your photo's going to be on Facebook, and you're going to be circulated as wanted.
14:04God.
14:05Where are you?
14:06Bless them.
14:06That's the level of threat they can offer now.
14:08If you don't hand yourself in there, I'm going to tell all your Facebook friends what you've been doing.
14:14All right?
14:15Well, I'm going to go to the police station, but what do you mean I failed to stop?
14:19What do you mean he's still carrying the plug on?
14:21What do you mean I failed to stop?
14:24He's denying it.
14:25You were on camera.
14:27They've got your ID.
14:29He got six points and was ordered to pay costs and fines, totalling £699.
14:35Is that it?
14:36That's it.
14:37It's funny that they've done the sales thing of going with £699.
14:42What, our best price?
14:43Yeah, is that our best price, that?
14:45£699.
14:46Why don't they, like, they could just read about Dick Turpin, they could watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
14:51Yeah.
14:52Bonnie and Clyde.
14:53I mean, they could do some research into, you know, the fundamentals of being a criminal.
14:58Just do it better.
15:07I went to put a food bag into the food bin, and when I took the lid off the food
15:14bin thing, I can't say I was entirely happy with what I saw.
15:18Michael and his wife, Anna.
15:20It's...
15:21And this was before it got really hot.
15:23Was it all of those little...
15:24It was flies and, I mean...
15:26Those little crawly...
15:27Yeah, it was like a whole...
15:28Worms.
15:29...symbolisation was in there.
15:30Yeah, great.
15:30...that flew out when I opened it up.
15:32In your face.
15:32And it's got a lot hotter since then.
15:36It has.
15:37How do you fancy putting the food bin in there?
15:39Well, I'm not going in.
15:39That's your weekly chore.
15:40That is your one weekly chore.
15:42What do you mean, my one weekly chore?
15:44What are your other ones?
15:45Well, getting the recycling stuff out as well.
15:48So, bins still.
15:50I mean, it's all bins related.
15:52It's bins.
15:53You're on bins.
15:54This week, Netflix had backed J-Lo to star in a classy new rom-com.
16:00I struggle with J-Lo as an actress.
16:02You said that out loud?
16:03I don't know.
16:04Don't say it three times, she appears.
16:06I'm just...
16:07I'm just Jenny from the Blacks.
16:09Just give a little bit of better...
16:11What the hell's it going?
16:12You overcommitted.
16:13That's what's happened there, isn't it?
16:18Is this like a networking event, or is this like a daily...?
16:21No, it looks dreaded.
16:22It looks like my idea of hell working somewhere like here.
16:27It's him!
16:28It's Roy!
16:29From Ted Lasso.
16:33Oh, there she comes.
16:38Is that Jennifer Lopez?
16:40Is that Jenny from the block?
16:41Jenny from the block!
16:43Is it?
16:43It's...
16:45It must be, Jenny from the block.
16:47Yeah, it is.
16:55I don't even know what this film's about.
16:57Office romance.
16:58Right, OK.
17:00Have you ever had an office romance?
17:01No, I've been in offices and been romantic.
17:04Have you?
17:05Yeah.
17:05Does that count?
17:06Yeah, not...
17:06I'm pretty sure that's not an office romance.
17:09That's like one-off.
17:09No, I'm pretty sure just shagging in an office isn't, isn't, doesn't constitute an office romance.
17:15In the film, we join big bus J-Lo on a work trip with a new liar, Daniel.
17:21And I like a car, don't fill me up here.
17:25Oh, no, I can't, I can't, no, no, no.
17:28I don't even like watching people dance.
17:30No.
17:30I hate dancing.
17:31We're just dancing.
17:34Oh, look at those hips.
17:37Me, just shy.
17:37They're playing the music that's like at Nando's.
17:44And now, a slow dance.
17:50What timing?
17:52What timing for a slow song to come on?
17:54I'm trying to watch this, Claire, because I'm so heavily invested.
17:56I want to find out if these two boring characters end up liking each other.
18:01OK.
18:09Oh, romance, romance is blooming, romance is blooming.
18:13What a romantic moment.
18:14I wonder if there's potentially going to be a kiss at this point.
18:19I'd love them to kiss.
18:21I look to you to see the truth.
18:27Oh, look how close she is to his ear.
18:29Is she sniffing his ear?
18:30Is he licking her neck?
18:31Sorry, they are colleagues on a work trip.
18:34This is an HR nightmare.
18:36I don't think I've ever had a slow dance in my life.
18:39Have you?
18:39No.
18:40This just happens exclusively in films.
18:42In films, yeah.
18:44It's strange you never knew.
18:47I really love working with you.
18:49Oh, no.
18:51No.
18:51Who comes out with jelly for Lopez?
18:54You just say you smell great.
18:55Yeah.
18:56And you taste good.
18:57Yeah.
18:57What else do I say?
19:02Oh, my God, guys.
19:11Well, that'll start there.
19:13See, over there?
19:14Yeah.
19:15Moving to the right?
19:16Uh-huh.
19:16See it?
19:17Yeah.
19:17That's my will to live.
19:19Oh, there it went.
19:20Went far this time.
19:22A bit later, we caught up with the couple back at J-Lo's fancy flat.
19:29Where's the restroom?
19:30Oh, first door on the right.
19:31Just be a second.
19:32Oh, so they're sort of a couple now.
19:35Left!
19:36I meant left.
19:38Oh, J-Lo.
19:39Oh, no.
19:40What's on the right?
19:40What's on the right?
19:41He's going to go to the sex dungeon.
19:44Holy shit.
19:45Okay.
19:46Don't just forget about that.
19:47What?
19:48That looks like some sort of...
19:49Churchill's war room.
19:50What the actual fuck?
19:54What on earth?
19:55She's the biggest reformer.
19:56She loves England.
19:57She's obsessed with...
19:59Oh, my God.
20:01No, she's got a Harry Kane shirt.
20:03It's all a joke.
20:04I like British stuff.
20:06You know, because my father was stationed there when I was a kid,
20:08and I go there all the time, and each time, you know,
20:10I just pick up a little something from the airport.
20:14That's not my spare room, but it's a tribute to the Saturdays.
20:18What is this?
20:19What is this?
20:22What is this film, Claire?
20:23I made one.
20:24This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.
20:28So...
20:32You have a thing for British guys.
20:35They have a rugby ball!
20:36Nice!
20:38We love J-Lo.
20:39I would rather watch Peppa Pig.
20:41Those stories make more sense.
20:44Okay.
20:45I'm your...
20:47kink.
20:48Absolutely not.
20:49Kinky Brit, bro!
20:51Yeah.
20:51Now, just cover yourself in Bovril.
20:55And let's get on with it.
20:59Oh!
21:00Ah!
21:01Are we doing role play?
21:02I think that's what you should only get to.
21:04I think we're going role play.
21:08Oh, God.
21:09Oh, my God, she loves it.
21:11It's not a joke, is it?
21:13No.
21:14It's okay.
21:16I have a fetish for powerful women with perfect bums.
21:19I tell you what, with that fire on and the bearskin hat, it'll be roasting.
21:23Oh, my God.
21:24You have to protect the Queen.
21:31Oh, my God.
21:33Hold on a minute.
21:34This is a bit weird, isn't it?
21:35It's really weird.
21:37That's really changed.
21:38It's just not sexy.
21:40No, that really isn't sexy.
21:42I'm unhappy in lots of ways.
21:46In Manchester.
21:48Mate, you've cried at watching films, haven't you?
21:50Honestly, I've never cried at watching a film.
21:53Never?
21:53Honestly, but I know what I have cried at.
21:57After a big weekend, I'll watch the news.
21:59Sean and Bess.
22:02Do you remember what we did cry at?
22:04Go on.
22:05Say it's a garbage cartoon about a rabbit.
22:07Watch it down.
22:08Yeah, yeah, I remember that.
22:09We watched that on LSD, yeah.
22:12And we were both crying.
22:15I still play that tune now.
22:17Oh, dude.
22:17I mean, that changed my life.
22:19I have a moment every time I hear that tune.
22:21Changed my life, that.
22:22I mean, you've tears over bright eyes.
22:27And this is a cartoon rabbit.
22:28Emily Bits.
22:30On Tuesday night, ten single girls were starting things out
22:34with a kiss on BBC Three.
22:37Would you ever imagine kissing me?
22:38No, I would have been.
22:40Don't say that.
22:40That's disgusting.
22:42Ten single girls are ready to be matched up
22:45and meet for the first time with a kiss.
22:48What the hell is this?
22:49It's called I Kissed a Girl.
22:51What's it about?
22:52Girls kissing.
22:53They have to get off of each other and then they go...
22:55They have to kiss fast.
22:56I mean, it's a good icebreaker, to be fair.
22:59It's an intense one.
23:04I kissed a girl.
23:06But did you like it?
23:08Well, that's what we find out.
23:09Right.
23:10Don't we?
23:10I'm Faye, I'm 24, I'm from Warrington and I love being gay.
23:16I like Faye.
23:17Come on, Faye.
23:18I genuinely believe that as well.
23:19Gay Faye.
23:20Yeah.
23:20I'm so attracted to girls who are masculine presenting
23:25but really soft on the inside.
23:27That's kind of you.
23:28That's what I like.
23:29Okay.
23:29Is this Faye's match?
23:31Yeah.
23:34Shattening girl.
23:35You are.
23:36And there we have it.
23:38Oh, yes, I type then.
23:39I'm Elise, I'm 24 and I'm from Essex.
23:42I'm from Essex.
23:43Oh, from my neck of the woods.
23:44Yeah.
23:45This is the perfect match.
23:46Will the kiss marry that up though?
23:49Yeah.
23:54Oh, she's licking her lips.
23:55Oh, she's licking her lips.
23:56She's ready.
23:56Oh, this is where they see each other for the first time.
23:58What, and they just kiss straight away?
24:00Yeah, kissing straight away.
24:04Oh.
24:05Ooh.
24:07Straight into the tan.
24:08Yeah.
24:11Sorry.
24:12That's compatible.
24:13You see that?
24:14It does look like a compatible kiss.
24:15Yeah.
24:16It's gentle but passionate.
24:17It's got everything you want from a kiss.
24:20Hello.
24:21Hello.
24:22I'm Faye.
24:23Nice to meet you.
24:23Oh, and then you have to be like, hi, what's your name?
24:26Hi, nice to meet you.
24:27That's the most awkward thing I've ever seen.
24:29You can't say what your name is just after you've snogged.
24:32When I saw her in the distance and I saw short hair and jorts,
24:37I was like, fuck yeah.
24:39Yeah.
24:40Oh.
24:40She actually said, fuck yeah.
24:42Fuck yeah.
24:43I mean, they seem very well paired, don't they?
24:47OK, who's next?
24:48Hello, my name's Leesha.
24:49I'm 22, and I'm ready to kiss a girl in Welsh.
24:55Oh, Welsh.
24:57Ah, Borodar.
24:59Borodar?
24:59Yeah, Borodar.
25:18Borodar.
25:19Oh, my God, who's that girl, that blonde one?
25:22Uh-oh.
25:23Uh-oh.
25:23Oh, no.
25:24Oh, she's turning her head.
25:26Leesha.
25:26She genuinely looks like she's falling out of the sky.
25:28She likes Leesha.
25:29No, but Leesha wants femme.
25:32So, this is not going to work.
25:34I'm a lady.
25:35Alicia's match.
25:35Nice to meet you.
25:37She's gorgeous.
25:38She's gorgeous.
25:39She's gorgeous.
25:40Oh, she's gorgeous.
25:42Straight out of EastEnders.
25:43Oh, so all of these are girls and women?
25:46Yeah.
25:46There's no boys there?
25:47No.
25:48They're just all these, like, women and girls.
25:49Have you only just got on this now?
25:51We've been watching it for the part way, now we're about to help.
25:55How are you feeling?
25:56All right.
25:57Look.
25:58Hey, you're with Nikita, aren't you?
26:00Yeah.
26:01Don't sound too guest.
26:02No.
26:03Oh, I like it.
26:04Fight and talk.
26:05Yeah.
26:06Right in there.
26:06She's laying the groundwork as Elise, isn't she?
26:08Oh, don't sound too guest.
26:11No, she is.
26:11She's so lovely.
26:13Yeah, of course.
26:13Lovely's not going to cut it.
26:15Oh, Elise.
26:17She's got chat.
26:18Why are you looking at my outfit and smiling like that?
26:20Sorry, the flirting is outrageous.
26:22It's great, though, isn't it?
26:24It's so good.
26:25We need to be more like that.
26:26Do we?
26:26I'm tired, though.
26:27OK, maybe not.
26:28How are you feeling?
26:30Tell me the truth.
26:31Oh, no.
26:32What did you say?
26:33Go on, then.
26:33I think you're gorgeous.
26:34But?
26:35But you're not my type.
26:36Oh, no.
26:37Like, out of...
26:38What?
26:38What is?
26:39Say it.
26:40Just say it.
26:40Do it.
26:41Just say it.
26:41Just say it.
26:42Lift the plaster off.
26:43Alicia.
26:44Are you going to speak to her?
26:45Yes.
26:46I should give her the time.
26:47Yeah, it's hard.
26:48I should give her that time.
26:49Oh, my God.
26:51OK, and then what?
26:52No, I'm heartbroken for Faye.
26:53Then I'm not going to laugh till I cry the minute I meet her.
26:56And then it's going to be like, where's Faye?
26:59Oh.
27:00You don't admit that you're going back for...
27:02This is an internal monologue, babe.
27:03That's for the head only.
27:05Tell her to fuck off.
27:06What was that?
27:07She basically just said, oh, if she doesn't like me, I'll come back to you.
27:11Yeah.
27:12Well.
27:13Absolutely not.
27:14You need to have a kiss with me, and then you're flowing a little bit in.
27:17What?
27:18Don't you dare.
27:19Give us a kiss.
27:20I don't want to...
27:21Oh!
27:23No!
27:24Don't!
27:25Don't kiss her.
27:25Don't kiss her.
27:26Don't kiss her.
27:26After she's just said that to you.
27:29What a cheek.
27:30Well, it's quite 80s, isn't it?
27:32You know, with the headband, the attitude.
27:35I'm going to have a little look around, love.
27:36See what's better.
27:38If not, I'll come cracking back here, love.
27:40You know.
27:41It's like it's an 80s window cleaner.
27:42We're just having a gossip, so you can just take a seat.
27:46So, do you fancy her?
27:50Discreet.
27:51Straight to the point.
27:52I like the directness.
27:53Sometimes you just need someone to facilitate it.
27:55Just do it.
27:55Yeah.
27:56Stop messing about.
27:57Stop beating around the bush.
27:58Yeah.
27:59Come on now.
27:59Do you fancy her?
28:01Like, more than I've been fancying anyone more.
28:03Ah!
28:04Oh, raid it in.
28:05Bit full on.
28:06You know you're fucking gorgeous.
28:08You know you're fucking gorgeous?
28:10Bea, you know you fucking jargis, mate, don't you?
28:12I know you don't mean it, mate.
28:14Well, yeah, I know you know you're gorgeous.
28:23In North London.
28:25Went to Ascot and lost all my money.
28:27Oh, did you?
28:28Well, I lost £15.
28:29Oh, OK.
28:30That's not too bad.
28:31No.
28:31Did you enjoy it?
28:32Yeah, but do you know how I was betting?
28:34How?
28:34What colour the jockeys were wearing.
28:36Ellie and her good friend, Richie.
28:39And it didn't do us good at all.
28:41It's funny, that.
28:42So what were you kind of going forward to?
28:44Bright colours.
28:46The brighter the colour?
28:48The more I put my money on.
28:50OK.
28:50And how many of them won?
28:51None.
28:52Did you mean none at all?
28:53I lost everything.
28:54I lost all of £15.
28:56I was so sad.
28:58The woman next to us won, like, over £150.
29:01It's like, she just picked random ones too.
29:04No, she was betting on the ones in dark colours.
29:06She's in the opposite of you.
29:10On Friday, it was news of a big win in a small pond that sent ripples through Westminster.
29:16Hey, Abbey.
29:18Toast.
29:18It's five o'clock somewhere.
29:20I like the news.
29:22Do you?
29:22It's a bit depressing sometimes.
29:23It gets me fired up.
29:25That's it.
29:25Sat there in a perfectly good mood after chilling out with the poodles and a bit of birdsong.
29:29I come in, hit the switch, and within 15 seconds I'm in a completely psychotic meltdown.
29:36The Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, has renewed his vow to fight any leadership challenge.
29:41He's going to fight it.
29:42Sheer drama.
29:44Keir Starmer, sheer drama.
29:46After Andy Burnham's victory in the Makerfield by-election.
29:49I was in a taxi in Manchester this week, and the taxi driver loved him.
29:52I know that's only one person who doesn't speak for the whole city, but seems to really like him.
29:56He does a DJ set at Ramona some nights.
29:58No, he does not.
29:59Yeah, he does.
29:59Burnham won the seat by 9,000 votes, saying this is our last chance to change.
30:05Well, I mean, if Andy does become PM, we will have a Northern Prime Minister, but his job
30:10isn't to be Northern.
30:12His job is to fucking sort out the fucking country.
30:15And I do hereby declare that Andy Burnham is duly elected.
30:19Duly elected?
30:19She sounds good.
30:24Which one's Andy Burnham?
30:26There you can see Andy Burnham with his new security detail.
30:29A man with a bin for a face.
30:31He didn't just win.
30:33Andy Burnham walloped Reform UK.
30:35Well, no wonder he won.
30:36God!
30:38How is nobody on his team going?
30:40When you go up to stand on the stage, try to not position yourself between Count Binface
30:45and the big, massive fox.
30:47This is a final chance to change.
30:50What is that change, though?
30:52What is the change?
30:53This is what people said directly to me on the hundreds of doorsteps that I stood on.
31:01Do you know what?
31:01I get a bit of hype from him than I do Keir Starmer.
31:04Do you?
31:05No.
31:06Oh.
31:07Why?
31:07Because Keir Starmer is actually a smarter man.
31:09He doesn't feel like a politician.
31:11He feels like a nice head of year.
31:14Don't know.
31:14We have an opportunity to turn the tide, to make the country feel like it's working again.
31:21Oh, they all say the same thing.
31:23Can I just point out the bleeding obvious?
31:26The only people who have voted for Andy Burnham at the moment are the constituents of Makersfield.
31:32You and I haven't had a say in that.
31:35No.
31:35And now, if he's going to be elected leader, you and I and the rest of the country aren't going
31:39to have a say in that.
31:40It'll be the Parliamentary Labour Party who have a say in that, which is a tiny number of people.
31:45So we could end up with a Prime Minister that none of us have played any role in electing whatsoever.
31:51No, I know.
31:51Not none, but very, very, very, very, very, very, very few of us.
31:54And again, that doesn't really speak to a democracy from my point of view.
31:58OK, yeah, so when he does get in power and he invites us to number 10...
32:04Get him a bucket up.
32:05Get him a bucket up.
32:06And we'll do a nice live Monday show for him.
32:09There you go.
32:10I think he'll go with the flow because he's real.
32:13Three days later, things took a turn.
32:16Let's see what's next in the soap opera of our country's leadership.
32:22Good morning, everybody.
32:23It is Monday, the 22nd of June.
32:26We're live in Downing Street.
32:27Oh, here we go.
32:29It's happening, isn't it?
32:30Why is there a cat there?
32:31Oh, he's the one that's been there the longest.
32:33Larry the cat.
32:34Here we go.
32:34The door is opened.
32:35Here he is.
32:36Here he is.
32:36Here it comes.
32:37And here is the Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer.
32:41I feel like I've seen this a lot of times.
32:43Who's that with him?
32:44That's his wife.
32:45Oh, right.
32:46Oh, she's just buggered off and left him.
32:48She's already packing the moving van.
32:56Generous applause.
32:57He looks emotional, doesn't he?
33:00The question being asked now is whether I am best placed to lead us into the next general election.
33:09And the results are in.
33:10Oh, he's going to step down.
33:12And I accept that answer with good grace.
33:16Here it comes.
33:17Here we go.
33:18Every decision I've taken...
33:19Oh, God.
33:22...has been about putting the country I love first.
33:26That is why I will resign as leader of the Labour Party.
33:31There it is.
33:32We knew it was coming.
33:33Oh, he is going.
33:35And when I leave the biggest job in the country, I shall spend more time on the most important job.
33:43Being the best husband I can to my fantastic wife, Fig.
33:47Oh, God.
33:49Oh, he's emotional.
33:51Oh.
33:52Who has been a rock by my side through good times and bad.
33:57Oh.
33:57Nice.
33:58Oh, he's going.
33:59So, in the end, he's just a husband and a man and a father, you know.
34:03Yeah, he's a human being.
34:04Yes, I know.
34:05And being the best dad I can to my beautiful children, who are my pride and my joy.
34:11That's got to be tough.
34:12Got to be tough.
34:14What a tough speech to make.
34:16Thank you very much.
34:18He's finally shown us the human side of him that would have connected more with the world.
34:24Rather than the same, my father was a tall man and all that.
34:29I'm a big Arsenal fan.
34:30It's like...
34:31I love Arsenal.
34:32Yeah.
34:33And he's leaving.
34:34Yeah.
34:34That's the best...
34:35If it had got like that about the Champions League, it would have actually maybe connected with him.
34:39A bit like showbiz, really, isn't it?
34:40It is showbiz, though, isn't it?
34:42That's exactly what it is.
34:42I've been sat loads of times about being told.
34:44Same.
34:45I've just been recast.
34:46Yeah, I've put the TV on and gone, oh, I used to do that.
34:48I'm not in that anymore.
34:49OK, yeah.
34:50Oh, fine.
34:50We understand, Kia.
34:52Yeah, we get it.
34:52To an extent.
34:53Are we going to vote for the next person to come in or what?
34:55I think the MPs vote for the next Prime Minister.
34:58I don't think we vote.
34:59But then they can call a general election afterwards.
35:01But I don't think we will vote for the next leader of the Labour Party.
35:04They will pick and whoever they pick becomes Prime Minister.
35:07Look at me.
35:07I'm not Rita Chakrabarti on this sofa.
35:18I like being hot.
35:19Do you?
35:20Yeah.
35:21Why?
35:21I like it.
35:22I like the heat.
35:22I like it.
35:23I like being slightly...
35:24I like it.
35:25I like it.
35:25I like it.
35:26Denise and her good friend, Johnny.
35:28I like being slightly sweaty.
35:30Don't you?
35:30No.
35:31Why do you like being sweaty?
35:32Because it makes me aware of my body.
35:35And me.
35:36Yeah, yeah.
35:36No, but I quite like it.
35:38Don't you like to do things covered with a thin film of sweat?
35:42Not really.
35:43No, I like to be cool.
35:45We're different about so many things.
35:48On Friday night, Fred was playing matchmaker again on Channel 4.
35:52It is literally what it says on the tin.
35:54What?
35:54It's a first date.
35:56It's someone else's.
35:57You'll be interested in that.
35:58I love a first date.
36:00When it goes well, I look all happy.
36:01Barely interested when it's one of yours, you know.
36:04You sent me a picture from your first date with your husband.
36:07Yeah, I know.
36:07Saying, I'm going to marry him.
36:08I know, and I did.
36:10And you did.
36:13Do you remember our first date?
36:15I do.
36:16Was it a Cuban restaurant?
36:19It was.
36:20And how late were you?
36:22I was just getting off work.
36:24I'm going to say about half an hour late.
36:26I had to make some phone calls before I arrived.
36:29Did you?
36:29Just in case.
36:30And safeguarding calls.
36:31Yeah, yeah, just to make sure that people knew where I was.
36:35Yeah, fair enough.
36:37At 81, Angela isn't prepared to give up having fun.
36:41Oh, I love her already.
36:43Your mum used to wear coats like that.
36:44I just thought of my mum the minute I saw that.
36:47You know I've always had a bit of a thing for Kat Slater.
36:49And this is your...
36:50Listen.
36:51She's your cup of tea.
36:51She sort of, she's channeled that.
36:53It's hard being a widow, especially if you've had a long time together.
36:57Yeah.
36:58And we had a very happy, long marriage.
36:59I'm going to get mum on this when you go.
37:01Yeah, I'd be flirty.
37:02So what is your ideal man like?
37:05Well, I have to be honest.
37:07Well, I just want a man, really.
37:09I'm not fussed.
37:11I'll take anybody.
37:13That's where this guy comes in.
37:14Yeah.
37:15Anyone breathing with an XY chromosome, basically.
37:19Just a man with hair.
37:21A man with hair.
37:21Oh, that rules you out.
37:23Easy.
37:23You've got loads of hair.
37:24Too much hair.
37:25She should see your arse.
37:26She'd love that.
37:29Well, hello.
37:31Oh, who's there?
37:31He's got hair.
37:32He's got hair.
37:32Oh, hello.
37:34Oh, he's nice and smiley.
37:35Hello, I'm Angela.
37:37Hi, Angela.
37:38I'm fine.
37:38Good meeting.
37:40Good first meeting.
37:41What's your name?
37:42John.
37:42John.
37:43You're cold.
37:43I know.
37:44I could do with the Horlicks.
37:45Oh, she's very touchy.
37:47Oh, she's...
37:48She's touchy.
37:49Oh, they're cute.
37:51Oh, they're adorable.
37:52I'm stroking your arm because it's so cute.
37:54Oh, I love it.
37:55Carry on.
37:56Well, I was married for 53 years.
38:00It's the same man.
38:01Oh, how nice.
38:02Oh, yeah.
38:03I love her.
38:04I'm going to cry.
38:05I miss it.
38:06I just miss the companionship.
38:08Being out to go for a meal like this.
38:09I miss being told what to do.
38:12And they're not doing it.
38:13I look forward to missing being told what to do.
38:17What star side are you?
38:19Oh, dear.
38:19Oh, no.
38:20Oh, no.
38:20Taurus.
38:22Oh, for goodness sake.
38:23I know.
38:24Oh.
38:24Oh, this chat always does my head in.
38:27I know what you're going to say.
38:28Honestly.
38:29You don't like the star sign stuff, do you?
38:31I'm not into star signs at all whatsoever.
38:33But I don't...
38:33That's because you're a Leo, though, and you think you're always right.
38:36How many times have you been married?
38:38Just the three.
38:39Just the three?
38:40What?
38:43Three times, okay.
38:45How do you get the energy to do it three times?
38:47I wake up every morning and start again.
38:50I think I'd only ever get married once.
38:53Really?
38:53I think you've got another one in you.
38:54I think you've...
38:56I think you've got another one in you.
38:57Can you stop trying to orchestrate my divorce, please?
39:02We all have a truth joke.
39:04Do you not have a nap in the afternoon?
39:05No, I do not.
39:07Why do you have a nap in the afternoon?
39:09Because I don't sleep at night.
39:11Why don't you sleep at night?
39:12Because I have a nap in the afternoon.
39:16She seems to be having a right laugh, though, doesn't she?
39:19I feel like they've got a bit of banter going on.
39:20They're quite sort of playfully combative, aren't they?
39:24Well, I think they are.
39:25I think they've made good friends.
39:26Oh, hello, John.
39:29Hello.
39:30Where have you been?
39:31All my life.
39:33I think this is fireworks.
39:34I think they've got to go on a date again.
39:35I think this is good.
39:36I think they'll meet up again.
39:36I hope so.
39:37Do you think this is going to be a thing?
39:39I don't know.
39:41I don't know.
39:42I was initially excited.
39:43So, do you want to see each other again romantically?
39:47Ooh.
39:48Here we go.
39:49The big question.
39:50Are they going to get another date?
39:53Well, not romantically for me.
39:55No.
39:55Oh!
39:57John!
39:59Fucking hell!
40:00Straight in there before she could even take a breath.
40:03But, as a friend, I think we could have a very good friendship.
40:08No, I think she was going to say yes.
40:11No, she definitely was, yeah.
40:12What the fuck happened there?
40:13I don't know.
40:14I thought they were getting on like a house on fire.
40:16This is why if I was single, I couldn't go on a show like this.
40:19Do you think you...
40:19I'll be like, you're saying no to me and you've been married three bleeding times.
40:23What's wrong with me?
40:28In London...
40:29What's your favourite dance to dance to in a romantic setting?
40:33Friends Carlos and Amy.
40:36Oh, like...
40:37Stand, stand by, Amy.
40:38No, I think I can't fall in love.
40:40I can't help fall in love with you.
40:42Sing it.
40:43Wise men say, only fools love rushing.
40:49And I can't help fall in love with you.
40:55And what would you do?
40:56Would you be like this kind of dancing?
40:58Yeah, I think it has to be...
40:59When it comes to romance, I think it has to be really slow.
41:02You can really feel the intimacy and you can really feel each other's body language and
41:08looking at each other.
41:09I think it's beautiful.
41:10On Sunday, there was something charming on Channel 4.
41:15This is something you're going to really enjoy.
41:17Okay.
41:17You like otters?
41:18I love otters.
41:19An otter love story.
41:21You know, I nearly played an otter once.
41:22My auntie's got a badger in the garden.
41:24Is that a euphemism?
41:27Let me tell you a story about a man.
41:29Oh, it's beautiful.
41:30Oh, look at that.
41:31My man, Billy.
41:33Is this the badger talking?
41:34Is it a badger?
41:35It's an otter.
41:36It's an otter.
41:36Wait, beaver.
41:37Otter.
41:37Beaver.
41:38Wait, what?
41:39And how he was lost for a while.
41:45Until beauty found him.
41:47Oh, look at that.
41:48There she is.
41:52Oh, look, they come to you.
41:53Oh!
41:54Quite friendly.
41:56This is like that octopus guy, isn't it?
41:59This is going to have us, isn't it?
42:00It's going to have us getting him out.
42:04Oh!
42:05Oh, so cute.
42:07Oh, it's going to go up.
42:08Oh!
42:10I can't.
42:11Oh, they're friends.
42:17Oh, this is going to be too much.
42:19Come on.
42:20Oh, it's made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on it.
42:22Has it?
42:23Yeah, it has.
42:24Oh, it's like Marley and me.
42:26Well, not quite, Dan.
42:27That's a, you know, it's a bit more unusual, isn't it?
42:30That's a Labrador with a journalist.
42:32Billy had a wee hole in his heart.
42:34Don't.
42:35Stop.
42:36We're off.
42:37Perhaps it's the hole a man has when he doesn't get to be a father.
42:43I could never have imagined that a wee creature washing up at his feet would change everything.
42:52That's where we're going wrong.
42:53We need to meet an otter.
42:54We need an accidental meeting.
42:56With an otter.
42:56With an otter.
42:57And then everything's going to be all right.
42:59I don't know where she came from, but I heard that a mother author had been killed on the road
43:03near the house.
43:04Oh, no.
43:04Oh, I see.
43:05It's an orphaned otter.
43:06Yeah, and he's leaving her little snacks.
43:12Maybe I was a last resort.
43:14Oh.
43:16They've got little hands.
43:17Yeah, and do you know, arctic otters, they hold hands at night, all of them.
43:22They form what's called a raft, and they all hold hands at night.
43:25Oh.
43:26Yeah.
43:26I named her Molly.
43:28I don't really know why.
43:30You're going to start crying deffo, aren't you?
43:31Oh, it's so cute.
43:33I went into the shade one day, and an Amazon parcel had arrived.
43:36It was ordered by the otter.
43:38And Jeff Bezos was even richer.
43:42This is a heartwarming moment.
43:44Don't ruin it with capitalism.
43:46And it was a bag of coloured balls.
43:48And my first thought was, surely to goodness, he has not bought these for Molly.
43:56Oh, she's having a little ball pit.
44:00He's treated like his child.
44:02He is, and it's actually really cute.
44:07Oh.
44:09When I was, like, four or five, we're just in the backyard, and just...
44:13Like a passing pool.
44:14Yeah.
44:14Like that.
44:15It's...
44:16Oh, that's so cute.
44:23Oh, happy she is, man.
44:25Sorry, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
44:28Has it got you that...
44:29It's really cool.
44:29It's got you that quick?
44:31The ball pit.
44:32I just think it's really sweet.
44:34I think it's really sweet.
44:36I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
44:38You are.
44:39You are, Billy.
44:40I feel a bit daft sometimes.
44:41No.
44:42Don't you dare.
44:43No.
44:44Get rid of those thoughts, mate.
44:45As Molly began to need less time and care, Billy could finally get on with finishing her house.
44:51Oh, so he's meant to be doing the house up.
44:54Would you be annoyed if the other up was ignoring you because he was hanging out with a nutter?
44:59Until he came in one evening with a big smile on his face.
45:03Oh, what's he done?
45:04And explained that he'd finished the house and would I like to come and see it?
45:10He's built that for her.
45:13Oh, my goodness, yes.
45:15Look at that.
45:17The perspective there was half until she came out.
45:20Like Thunderbirds or something.
45:22And I nearly suggested he go and live in it.
45:25What is going on?
45:27That was like that moment in Sixth Sense.
45:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:29Where you're like, ooh.
45:30You just didn't see it coming.
45:31Didn't see it coming.
45:32Mind blown.
45:33Wow.
45:41It's got art up on the wall.
45:43It's got little photos of them both.
45:45And the dog.
45:53Oh, that's so cute.
45:56Remember when, do you remember when we watched the one of the poor film and you cried?
46:02I didn't cry.
46:03You did cry.
46:05Winnie the Pooh is the most beautiful soul.
46:07I could cry talking about it now.
46:09I won't.
46:11There's something about Winnie the Pooh that gets to me.
46:14He's so honest and so sincere.
46:16Oh, God, I don't want to talk about it.
46:18LAUGHTER
46:24Well, if you're now hooked on that utterly lovely story of Billy and Molly, you can stream it any time.
46:31And yes, you will cry.
46:33The most high-profile of high-profile love lives, but how did it influence her music and lead to her
46:38happy ending?
46:39A bit of Taylor Swift Sunday at 11 o'clock.
46:42Next, though, skating through some first dates.
46:44Music plays.
46:46Perfect world.
46:49Music playing.
46:50Music playing.
46:52Music playing.
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