- 8 hours ago
Die Säuberung der Königreiche | Ganzer Film Deutsch
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00:02:22Anus, put the fucking sides away!
00:02:31Hello girls!
00:02:49My name is Anus! A-N-U-S!
00:02:59A-N-U-S!
00:03:25A-N-U-S!
00:03:27A-N-U-S!
00:03:30A-N-U-S!
00:03:38A-N-U-S!
00:03:40A-N-U-S!
00:03:48A-N-U-S!
00:03:56A-N-U-S!
00:04:24I said wine!
00:04:25Give me some wine now!
00:04:28Don't fucking spill it on me!
00:04:30You fucking idiot!
00:04:43Yes?
00:04:45My lord.
00:04:45Yes.
00:04:47I have seen him.
00:04:51Who have you seen?
00:04:53The one who predicts our future.
00:04:55The one who makes us envious.
00:04:58The one who paints pictures of life and death with one fell swoop of a tweet.
00:05:15You brought me here for this?
00:05:17I swear he was out here.
00:05:20Sport.
00:05:21More.
00:05:25More.
00:05:25More.
00:05:38Wow!
00:05:39Wow, man!
00:05:41He came back!
00:05:42Man, it's such an honor.
00:05:44It's like a...
00:05:45Cool, man.
00:05:46Wow!
00:05:48I've seen your future. Yeah, I mean look at that. It's so bright. I gotta wear shades. Yeah, I'm saying
00:05:55Unless you quit the violence around here. Yeah, all you motherfuckers are gonna die
00:06:00Now I'm telling you you want to be in any more books or TV shows y'all better stop killing
00:06:06each other
00:06:15And it shall be decreed thus
00:06:18No longer shall we live in a land where the defenseless fall prey to vicious predators and
00:06:24Sexual deviance let us restore the peace which our ancestors once enjoy
00:06:29Excuse me my lord, but there has never been peace in wild west the world. No
00:06:36No, my lord, okay
00:06:39Let it thus be the creed that it is time to come out of the dark ages into a new
00:06:44age of everlasting
00:06:46Peace and that is why I want you to
00:06:48Join us here at Kingshire tomorrow sundown for Purge Fest 3000
00:06:56Sounds good, doesn't it? I'm sorry my lord, but did you say
00:07:01Purge? Yes, yes you impotent cocks. Yes, I did
00:07:07Isn't it Purge where you violently remove a couple of people?
00:07:10No, no, no, no. It's more like a bar mitzvah with music and just a few whores make sure the
00:07:15big tits, you know
00:07:16I like the big tits, you know that
00:07:18After you've sent out the invites and everyone comes to the party and we've ushered them all into the hall
00:07:27I want you to make sure that the doors to the hall are locked from the outside
00:07:38And then I want you to make sure that we have plenty of dragon fire
00:07:46Because I'm going to burn everyone alive
00:08:15Thank you thank you no really really thank you it was nothing now it's your turn baby brother
00:08:26What are you doing it's your turn hold on hold on? I almost got my access. Oh
00:08:32There's a way
00:08:35Odoo our father lord dead at stork is watching and so is our mother lady stalk and your ginger sister
00:08:41sunsia
00:08:43And the polish baker the puerto rican gardener the carpenter and a guy named carlos
00:08:51Hey
00:09:09Okay, okay, which one of you was the marksman at 10?
00:09:15I see
00:09:17Well keep practicing brendan you'll get there soon enough
00:09:21I don't want to pressure you or anything
00:09:23But you're embarrassing our entire house try to at least hit something near the target this time here. Just shoot
00:09:27Yeah
00:09:28Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow i'm all right i'm okay i'm fine it's okay
00:09:42So what's happening it's stuck oh well we did our best didn't we that's all they can ask for
00:09:50Look
00:09:51That's him
00:09:52My god he's awesome
00:09:55Excuse me
00:09:57What's up you horny bitches can i get an autograph
00:10:03I know nothing's up really we're just talking about going to get some cheeses right guys yeah
00:10:08Yeah
00:10:10What about the wall it gave you stuff commander doe well do this your fashion
00:10:19Get some help here brothers yes yes yes
00:10:22Paul
00:10:24Paul
00:10:28Why are you grabbing my nipples?
00:10:32Uh i saw the other guys uh helping so i thought i'd join in how does that help the gate
00:10:40come down
00:10:42Yes, well indeed yeah good point uh my deepest apologies it won't happen again
00:10:48It's stuck
00:10:49Then this is what you get when you let lord trumpet the orange build the wall with the outsider's money
00:11:00Men get the torches there's someone coming
00:11:06Hello everybody it's me lord trumpet of orange and i want to give you an update on my ratings they're
00:11:16incredible they're amazing they're tremendous
00:11:19Talk about the wall sir shut up miller
00:11:22This amazing wall which i installed and was paid for by the brown people who by the way did not
00:11:30vote for me very stupid and sad frankly no brown people sir
00:11:35This wall was built with the finest wood in all of wild western world and as you can see it's
00:11:45huge
00:11:47Just like my penis
00:11:52Oh my stars you are like my starry of val d'or
00:12:04Oh ride me ride me to the end of the world you beast
00:12:08Oh
00:12:10Oh
00:12:14Denise my skanky slutty sister there you are look what just arrived from king's shop
00:12:25It looks like the invitation to a party
00:12:31When they write the history of my reign it will start today
00:12:38How exciting
00:12:40What day is it?
00:12:41February 31st
00:12:42Now we shall travel to king's shire at once and deliver a special surprise to our friend the king
00:12:47I thought you hated the king
00:12:49Of course I hate him he's fluctuating all over my throne
00:12:51But if you hate him then why will you give him a surprise?
00:12:55Never mind just pack up your things and bring the savage with you
00:13:07Good evening
00:13:09We're going to a party
00:13:11In king's shire
00:13:12Are there snacks?
00:13:13More snacks than you can imagine
00:13:16Can I come?
00:13:17Of course you can come
00:13:17You're the surprise
00:13:19Wait I'm not popping out of a cake again
00:13:21What we're going to give him our dragon?
00:13:24No no not exactly
00:13:27We shall hide piff inside a pie and the king will cut it and then piff will pop out and
00:13:30eat the king in front of everyone
00:13:32And I will be the new ruler of wild westerworld
00:13:34Wait did you just say eat the king?
00:13:36Yes I did
00:13:37Do you have a problem with that?
00:13:39Well I'm actually a pescatarian so I don't eat any living creature
00:13:43Apart from fish because they deserve it because they're dickheads
00:13:46Well then just chew his head off and spit it out what do I care as long as he dies
00:13:51Can I choke him out because I'm not very good around blood
00:13:53Yes yes I just need him dead
00:13:55Hold on I've got a better idea
00:13:59What about killer here?
00:14:00Uh no you will do the killing
00:14:04Well I've already named him killer so it just seems appropriate that he should kill
00:14:07I said no you will kill him
00:14:09Fine I'll kill him he'll be dead to you just that you're dead to me
00:14:15Meaning we buy the pile of horseshit when he's done with you?
00:14:18Which one?
00:14:25Diego
00:14:26My moon and my stars
00:14:28Can you go hotter?
00:14:32Hotter
00:14:32Hotter like you're taking me to the moon
00:14:38Yes
00:14:38Yes
00:14:39Yes
00:14:40Yes
00:14:40Yes
00:14:56Boys
00:14:58Party
00:15:00Style
00:15:02Fame
00:15:03She likes
00:15:04Deliberate
00:15:06Runway
00:15:08Drive
00:15:10Fame
00:15:11She likes Dasher
00:15:18She likes Dasher
00:15:26She likes Dasher
00:15:27She likes Dasher
00:15:34Oh, my God.
00:15:36It's got, like, an invitation.
00:15:38It's a party.
00:15:39Clearly, that's for me.
00:15:41This is my pool.
00:15:43Yeah, but...
00:15:58Phone, Sebastian.
00:15:59Give me my phone.
00:16:05Oh, my God.
00:16:07Me, too.
00:16:08Pack your things because we're going to a party.
00:16:14Oh, well, this is, like, genocide but without the Jews.
00:16:19And bring your own whores.
00:16:22Oh, my God.
00:16:23You're right.
00:16:23We could be the whores.
00:16:26Oh, my God.
00:16:27We're going to be so famous.
00:16:29Come on.
00:16:30Come on.
00:16:32Why?
00:16:35Because it's Purge Fest.
00:16:43Oh, no.
00:16:45Oh, no.
00:16:46I told you guys.
00:16:47Oh, I told you we should have come here now.
00:16:49We're going to die.
00:16:50God help us.
00:16:53Where are you going?
00:16:55You fucking cowards.
00:16:57Johnny, do something.
00:16:59Do the hair.
00:17:01Yes.
00:17:03Do the dance magic.
00:17:05Yeah, do it, Johnny.
00:17:20Shake your hair, bitch.
00:17:22Do it.
00:17:28Oh, that's hot.
00:17:30That's hot.
00:17:31Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:17:32Go for all of them.
00:17:33All of them.
00:17:38Whoa.
00:17:40Oh.
00:17:40Frosty.
00:17:48Do it, Johnny.
00:17:49Just.
00:17:52Holy mother.
00:17:54Holy shit.
00:18:01Uncle Tony.
00:18:02Lord.
00:18:03Avian.
00:18:05Holy shit.
00:18:06How did you do that?
00:18:08Screw my suit.
00:18:08You guys go to the Purge Fest?
00:18:10Ah, my family wouldn't want me there.
00:18:11I'm a bastard.
00:18:12What do you mean your family wouldn't want you there?
00:18:14I'm your family.
00:18:15And you know what you need?
00:18:16You need to eat some makeup.
00:18:17Make yourself pretty on the inside.
00:18:19Does that work?
00:18:20Does it work?
00:18:21I didn't think I met your mother.
00:18:22Do you know my mother?
00:18:23Of course I know your mother.
00:18:24I'm your uncle.
00:18:24Who is she?
00:18:25Listen.
00:18:26I'm going to go to the Purge Fest.
00:18:27You'll meet your mother.
00:18:28I can't go right now.
00:18:29I've got to go out of the Segovia.
00:18:30I've got a hot widow and a castle.
00:18:32And she's waiting for me.
00:18:34But you guys will see at Purge Fest.
00:18:36All right, good.
00:18:36All right.
00:18:37Later, guys.
00:18:38So.
00:18:39Well, everyone has a way down for me.
00:18:42Sorry, Father.
00:18:43I was aiming for the target, but he was in the way.
00:18:46It's okay, boy.
00:18:49Lord Sork, Lady Sork.
00:18:51The guardsmen have returned from the hillside.
00:18:53They've captured the deserter from the wall.
00:18:55Bob tells it meant to saddle the horses.
00:18:57Brendan, you come with me.
00:18:59Are you sure, Dennett?
00:19:00Don't you think he's too young to see such things?
00:19:03He won't be a child forever, my dear.
00:19:06This would be a good lesson for him.
00:19:08Come on, Brendan.
00:19:09I would teach you how to deal with the deserters.
00:19:14I've got peanuts!
00:19:16There!
00:19:17Toy heads for the kids!
00:19:19Peanuts!
00:19:21Peanuts!
00:19:22Is there anything you'd like to say in your defense before I deliver your sentence?
00:19:26Yeah.
00:19:27I know I broke my own, but I'm not a goddamn deserter.
00:19:29I know I should've run to the wall, I want them.
00:19:31But I saw what I saw, so I went just fast for me to carry it.
00:19:33You might think I deserve to die like a dog.
00:19:35People need a little truth.
00:19:36I might a cat eat all of you, and the devil eat the cat, and that's all.
00:19:40Does anyone understand what this man said?
00:19:42No.
00:19:44Very well.
00:19:45Off with his head.
00:19:47No!
00:19:52Fucking gobshite.
00:19:54In the name of Walter, the house of the...
00:19:56Cut, cut, cut, cut!
00:19:58He can't hear you!
00:19:59Where's the bone guy?
00:20:04Is he Union?
00:20:05No!
00:20:07Yay!
00:20:08I'm free!
00:20:10In the name of Walter, of the house of Falafel, I, Dedrick, son of Fendro, husband of Lady
00:20:17Stork, lover of Athena, Katrina, Seraphina, and Salvador, father of Macaulay-McCockton,
00:20:25Bobbeth, Ariana, Sancia...
00:20:28I'll just do it already!
00:20:29Who said that?
00:20:31Father.
00:20:32Sorry, I just...
00:20:33I can't stand the sight of real blood.
00:20:35This is the old way, boy.
00:20:36The man who passes the sentence must deliver the blow.
00:20:40Now put that game down.
00:20:41Come here.
00:20:42I'll chop his head off.
00:20:46Go, Doug.
00:20:49You may go.
00:20:50My boy will hold him down.
00:20:52Now hold it.
00:20:53Hold still.
00:20:55Steady.
00:21:00I told you to stay steady!
00:21:04Here comes Lady Stork.
00:21:06Don't say a word.
00:21:08Oh, hello, my dear.
00:21:10What things are here?
00:21:11Where's Brendan?
00:21:12Uh, he had a small accident, but there's nothing the Major can't fix.
00:21:16We just received an invitation to King Shire for Purge Fest 3000.
00:21:21What is that?
00:21:22A party.
00:21:23To purge all violence from the kingdoms.
00:21:25That is wonderful!
00:21:27I think that you should go alone.
00:21:29Our enemies will be there, and it may be dangerous for the children.
00:21:33What say you?
00:21:34Father, Prince Gizzy will be there, and I must meet him.
00:21:38He is the love of my life.
00:21:39I'm going to marry him.
00:21:41I want to lie naked in his bed while he drizzles hot honey all over my body.
00:21:46Now, now, don't get upset.
00:21:48There's no safer place in the entire realm than King Shire, my dear.
00:21:52I'm certain that nothing bad will happen to us.
00:21:55My children, pack your back.
00:21:58We're going to the capital!
00:22:02Oh, dear.
00:22:26And now, the benevolent, the magnificent, and the extremely dignified, Prince Gizzy!
00:22:39That's my boy!
00:22:46Ladies, ladies, all the sexy ladies longing for a prince like me.
00:22:52Some of them be cherry-ripped, some be lewd and some be shrewd.
00:22:59Who are longing for a prince like me?
00:23:03Mom Grohl, you're in the wrong key!
00:23:04I believe it is the right one, Your Grace.
00:23:08What did you say?
00:23:10That you were right, Your Grace.
00:23:13I believe the only right key is the one that'll open the door to this shithole,
00:23:18so we can all get out before this fiener starts singing again.
00:23:22What did you call me?
00:23:24You're mostly honourable.
00:23:29Prince Gizzy, of course.
00:23:31That's what I thought.
00:23:34Mongrel will kill him.
00:23:45Mummy!
00:23:47That's it!
00:23:47Run to mummy.
00:23:49You bitch.
00:23:50Mongrel.
00:23:50Go face something funky.
00:23:52Go!
00:23:54Mummy!
00:24:04I like my voice.
00:24:06You're in here.
00:24:09Oh!
00:24:11Hey!
00:24:22Hey!
00:24:24Hey!
00:24:24Hey!
00:24:26Hey!
00:24:26Hey!
00:24:28Good boy.
00:24:30Hey!
00:24:32Hey!
00:24:36Hey!
00:24:38Hey!
00:24:38Did you get your invitation to Purgevest?
00:24:40I got it.
00:24:41It's a good plan.
00:24:43What are you talking about?
00:24:45It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
00:24:47Just another one with my husband.
00:24:49Stupid, bloody ideas, that drunk bastard.
00:24:53What?
00:24:54It's a brilliant opportunity to kill.
00:24:57What did you say?
00:24:58I said,
00:25:00Purgevest is an excellent opportunity to kill your husband.
00:25:07You're not just a beautiful face, are you?
00:25:10You've got stuff going on up there.
00:25:13Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me.
00:25:18After the king is dead, our son will take the throne.
00:25:22Jizzy.
00:25:24Jizzy.
00:25:25Jizzy.
00:25:25Jizzy.
00:25:26Jizzy.
00:25:28Jizzy!
00:25:30Jizzy!
00:25:31Jizzy!
00:25:33Jizzy!
00:25:34Oh!
00:25:40Mother?
00:25:48Hello, nephew.
00:25:52I heard someone in this direction calling my name.
00:25:55Oh?
00:25:56Oh!
00:25:57Honey, you must be hearing things.
00:25:59Why don't you go run along, play with yourself?
00:26:02I'm not finished with your uncle.
00:26:03Can I go shoot peasants with my crossbow?
00:26:05No, honey.
00:26:06Not today.
00:26:08I just can't be bothered with any maim bumpkins whining with their wretched families at the
00:26:12castle gates.
00:26:13Please, mother!
00:26:14Not today!
00:26:16Sorry.
00:26:17I'm sorry.
00:26:18I'm sorry.
00:26:23What's this?
00:26:26Is this a toy from the future?
00:26:28Oh, dear God.
00:26:30Give your uncle his hand back.
00:26:31Give your uncle his hand back now.
00:26:33No way.
00:26:33It's too much fun.
00:26:35No!
00:26:36You know what?
00:26:37Ah, darling!
00:26:41I changed my mind.
00:26:42You can go shoot the peasants now, darling.
00:26:46Thank you, mother.
00:27:07Hello, everybody.
00:27:09Have you noticed the beautiful white swans behind me?
00:27:15They remind me of my favorite type of people, graceful and white.
00:27:20Very, very white.
00:27:22Inclusivity, sir.
00:27:24They are so beautiful, and they love me for bringing them into this world almost as much
00:27:32as my beautiful Russian male order bride.
00:27:36And you know what the best part about the swans is?
00:27:38They're just as racist as I am.
00:27:42Non-racist, sir.
00:27:43Non-racist as I am.
00:28:00So beautiful out here.
00:28:02I wonder who planted all these trees.
00:28:06I spent a fortune in gardeners.
00:28:10Hey, where are you going, you ass wife?
00:28:13Come back here.
00:28:14I'll sue you.
00:28:16Where'd he go?
00:28:17I can't believe he did.
00:28:18Let's get out.
00:28:19Here, just...
00:28:21Okay.
00:28:21Check it.
00:28:23Okay.
00:28:24I'm fine.
00:28:25Okay.
00:28:26Stop.
00:28:27Here we go.
00:28:31Oh, no.
00:28:32Your tit's hanging out.
00:28:33Oh, yeah.
00:28:34You're going to put it away.
00:28:36You know who can see.
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:39That's true.
00:28:39For sure.
00:28:40That's good.
00:28:41What are we going to do?
00:28:42I don't know.
00:28:43I don't know.
00:28:47You're going to be kidding me right now.
00:28:49You meet your gods.
00:28:52Tell them.
00:28:54Shaggy, son of Scooby, from the Rock Paper Scissor Clan has sent you.
00:29:00Please don't kill me.
00:29:07And tell me, where do women of your physique come from?
00:29:13The hills of Beverly.
00:29:15Do they all have the same curves as you?
00:29:18Most do, yes, if they can afford it.
00:29:23I think we may have to visit someday.
00:29:26After we kill you.
00:29:28What?
00:29:29Yes.
00:29:33Oh, my God.
00:29:36Oh.
00:29:36Oh, my God.
00:29:37Oh, my God.
00:29:41Oh, my God.
00:29:41Okay, just...
00:29:42Get out!
00:29:43Okay, okay.
00:29:46Mr. Shaggy, my name is Clueless of House Kardashian.
00:29:54Tell me, Clueless, how would you like to die?
00:30:01Choking on a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my jacuzzi while having sex with you.
00:30:10The fat one's got a sense of humor.
00:30:13Take her as a slave and kill the other one.
00:30:15What?
00:30:16What?
00:30:16Oh!
00:30:18Who are you calling fat, Bet?
00:30:20Oh, no.
00:30:21Oh, yeah.
00:30:21Oh, she's feisty.
00:30:23Give me that.
00:30:23Give me that.
00:30:24Take my hammer or the family dies.
00:30:26Hang on a second.
00:30:28How many followers do you have?
00:30:36I have five followers.
00:30:40How do you expect me to take you seriously if you only have five followers?
00:30:47How many do you have?
00:30:49Thousands.
00:30:52Where are they?
00:30:53They're in here.
00:30:55And when I make my sex tape, I'll have millions and millions of followers.
00:31:05Well, join the club.
00:31:06Everyone does that around here.
00:31:08Really?
00:31:08Oh, yeah.
00:31:10Practically all the time.
00:31:11Yeah.
00:31:13How am I supposed to get famous now?
00:31:27Somebody say famous?
00:31:31Me.
00:31:33Me famous?
00:31:35I can make all you bitches famous.
00:31:39Oh, my God.
00:31:39Oh, my God.
00:31:41I need it.
00:31:41I need it.
00:31:41I need it.
00:31:42Oh, my God.
00:31:43Okay, Jack, please.
00:31:45David.
00:31:48Your majesty.
00:31:55No.
00:32:00Shut up.
00:32:01Oh, I'm hunting.
00:32:03My apologies, my lord.
00:32:04Yes.
00:32:05You've done it again, your majesty.
00:32:07First shot.
00:32:08Very good.
00:32:09Take that beast.
00:32:11Take that beast.
00:32:12Give it to the cook for tonight's feast.
00:32:16The event is just hours away, my lord.
00:32:19Yes.
00:32:24The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:29The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:31The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:32How does the dragon fire disappear?
00:32:37I'm afraid I do not know, my lord.
00:32:41I'm going to explain one thing to you.
00:32:43You're going to get rid of all those people tonight.
00:32:45I don't care how you do it.
00:32:47You throw them off the castle wall.
00:32:49You drown them in the moat.
00:32:51Feed them to the little beasties of the fucking forest.
00:32:55Use your imagination, will you, man?
00:32:58I want to think of something.
00:32:59Hold my wine.
00:33:03Come here, you little bastard.
00:33:17Any more bad news for the king today?
00:33:20Lord Deadard Stork and his family are about to arrive.
00:33:24Would you like to greet him?
00:33:27Well, yes, of course I'd like to greet, my dear long-lost friend.
00:33:33I mean, why didn't you bring that up in the first place?
00:33:38Do you want to tell me?
00:33:40You...
00:33:41Come on.
00:33:51The king is like a feather in the air.
00:33:54He goes whichever way the wind blows.
00:33:57And right now, Deadard is blowing him hard.
00:34:17Oh, that's lovely.
00:34:20Good work.
00:34:21Yes.
00:34:41Lord Trumpet's Wall.
00:34:44Journal entry number one.
00:34:47It's called a shit out here.
00:34:51In the middle of nowhere.
00:34:53As we look for nothing.
00:34:54For no reason whatsoever.
00:34:57Hmm?
00:34:58The story of my life.
00:35:01A bastard life.
00:35:03I'm bored.
00:35:05We could be on our way to Perchfest right now.
00:35:07I wouldn't want two more bastards.
00:35:09Oh, come on.
00:35:11Half of the people in this kingdom are bastards.
00:35:13And the other half are just inbred morons.
00:35:16Besides, there will be women, entertainment, cheeses.
00:35:26I'm a bastard child, living on a wall, with 40 celibates men.
00:35:37Okay, uh, wait.
00:35:39I didn't want to scare you, but I received a note from an hour earlier that said the storks
00:35:46might be in danger.
00:35:48When did you see him out?
00:35:51Uh, it, it, it was when I, when I went to the bathroom.
00:35:57I've been with you, Alder.
00:35:59Who said that?
00:36:00It was anonymous.
00:36:02I have never heard of it.
00:36:04Where is it?
00:36:06I, I burned it.
00:36:08Why would you burn the message?
00:36:10Because I was afraid it would get into the wrong hands.
00:36:12Look, we can discuss this forever, but the point is we don't have much time if we don't
00:36:16have had that now.
00:36:17Your family might be killed.
00:36:19My family doesn't want to see you.
00:36:21Oh, bloody hell.
00:36:22Are you going to sit here mopping all day about not having a mother, or are you going to get
00:36:26up and do something?
00:36:31Let's go to Purge Bay, right now.
00:36:36Both of us, let's do it.
00:36:38Let's do it.
00:36:44Pack your bags.
00:36:45Yes.
00:36:46Get your best dress.
00:36:48Yes.
00:36:48I'll get the car and we're going to Purge Bay.
00:36:50Yes.
00:36:51Yes, let's do it, Johnny.
00:37:03Don't tell me you're playing that stupid game again.
00:37:05Well, it's not stupid.
00:37:07I like it.
00:37:08Promise me you won't play with it while we're in Kingshire.
00:37:11Promise.
00:37:12Ho-dog, no playing.
00:37:14Ho-dog, ho-dog.
00:37:31Your grace.
00:37:36You look old.
00:37:41And you're so fat, the last time they took out the counterpart, they thought you was
00:37:46a boulder.
00:37:58Just like the old days.
00:38:04Your grace.
00:38:05Hello, darling.
00:38:07Kind as a fist, as always.
00:38:11And where are the little ones?
00:38:14Oh.
00:38:16Not so little anymore, are you?
00:38:19Little Bobby, have you tortured any defenseless little puppies lately?
00:38:25Oh.
00:38:26You must be the tomboy.
00:38:29Hmm?
00:38:29Oh.
00:38:31Hmm?
00:38:32Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:35Hello in there, huh?
00:38:37What?
00:38:39Oh.
00:38:40Oh, it's the pretty little girly one.
00:38:43She loves to play with the little dollies, does she?
00:38:45The little dollies.
00:38:47Oh.
00:38:51Ah.
00:38:52Then what have we?
00:38:53Here we have the athletic little handkerchief.
00:38:55Up and down.
00:38:56Show us those legs.
00:39:01I like pussy.
00:39:03I like pussy.
00:39:03Oh, dog.
00:39:04Oh.
00:39:05Pussy.
00:39:06Oh, dog.
00:39:07Pussy.
00:39:07Oh, dog.
00:39:08Pussy.
00:39:09Oh, dog.
00:39:09Hmm.
00:39:12Welcome to Pigshire.
00:39:15Because it's Su Casa.
00:39:18Meet the family.
00:39:19Come here.
00:39:21This is Cursie, my wife.
00:39:27and johnny bang bang johnny we call him but he likes to bag anything that fucking moves
00:39:34and jizzy my boy i'm so fucking proud of him great shot with that thing i think he looks just
00:39:42like
00:39:42you it does does he tell me about this purse fest why this big party all of a sudden you've
00:39:48never
00:39:49done anything like this before excuse us little come on you're the best friend i have in the whole
00:39:59wide work so i'm going to be honest with you this isn't a party i'm going to just kill the
00:40:05competition
00:40:05before it kills me you're becoming paranoid everyone loves you me i give my left tactical for you
00:40:14well that's because you're a moron call me what you will but i still believe in the old ways
00:40:20loyalty honesty character and integrity
00:40:30okay i'll go get a snack
00:40:37well i figure out how to murder every single one
00:40:48that is the most disgusting thing i've ever seen at least use a fork and knife you pig
00:40:53and what's taking you so long i'd like to keep moving
00:40:57go to my sister and let me be calm and eat shit
00:41:02you are an embarrassment to me and our entire family when i rule the eight kingdoms i will have
00:41:07to educate you properly you can't just be on a rocking horse with that beast of yours and
00:41:13dining on horsepots with your bare hands
00:41:15i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
00:41:25we are dragons well i'm a dragon i don't know who you are actually i'm a dragon how dare you
00:41:32correct
00:41:32me you say i'm the dragon you say i'm the dragon you say i'm the dragon you're the dragon and
00:41:39don't
00:41:39you forget it and by the way wow that's what a real dragon sounds like take it easy diego's going
00:41:49to
00:41:49get mad so what if he gets mad he still doesn't even speak the common tongue he's getting pissed
00:41:55he may not speak it but he understands it i want to go now i want the crown i deserve
00:42:09what did he say you said he'll give you your crown no what denise what's happening what is he doing
00:42:17in 10 buckets
00:42:18no no no you keep that away from me you i'm a guy of a king a crown for a
00:42:24king
00:42:44i think he's dead see
00:42:53let's go
00:42:53you want some of this yes thank you yum yum yum yum yum yum
00:42:59who's your host
00:43:00who's your host
00:43:17I have stolen all the dragon fire and hidden it in the basement.
00:43:25When all the families sit down for the feast, I will burn them.
00:43:32And you and I will be the new rulers of the kingdom.
00:43:37Yes, I got you, you nasty little devil.
00:43:40Now, wait till I tell all my friends about you.
00:43:41They won't believe it.
00:43:44Get him!
00:43:46Quite the little pervert, aren't you?
00:43:49What's happening?
00:43:49What's going on?
00:43:50I was just up here having some fun.
00:43:52Having some fun?
00:43:53Is that what you call it?
00:43:55Climb with my dragon.
00:43:57Clothering the creature, yes?
00:43:58Popping the beast.
00:43:59Chasing the serpent.
00:44:01Tickling the lizard.
00:44:02We get it.
00:44:03What are you doing?
00:44:04You're going to kill him.
00:44:06I'm saving our asses.
00:44:10The kid is just playing dragon.
00:44:15Right.
00:44:20Can I have a jackpot back, please?
00:44:22This is nothing but numb your brain and get you in trouble.
00:44:25No, I don't have a jackpot!
00:44:26Oh, my God!
00:44:32It's okay.
00:44:33The game!
00:44:34Still works.
00:44:37You're still alive.
00:44:40It's a miracle.
00:44:51I saw the best joust match the other day.
00:44:55Anus at the tip of his lance into the other guy's neck.
00:44:57There was blood gushing everywhere.
00:45:00It was pretty fun.
00:45:01Sounds interesting.
00:45:04No, I couldn't.
00:45:06Do it.
00:45:09Okay!
00:45:11Okay!
00:45:18Go ahead.
00:45:25Go ahead!
00:45:28Go ahead!
00:45:29Go ahead!
00:45:43What is it, my sweet lady?
00:45:45Does mongrel bother you?
00:45:48Away with you, mongrel.
00:45:49You're scaring my lady.
00:45:55There.
00:45:56That's just the two of us.
00:45:59So,
00:46:00what would you like to do for fun?
00:46:02I, uh, sew,
00:46:04cook,
00:46:05masturbate and clean
00:46:07twice a day.
00:46:09In that order.
00:46:10A traditional woman.
00:46:11I like that.
00:46:13I'm not into these women who want to
00:46:15work or
00:46:17fight or
00:46:18talk.
00:46:20Sweet.
00:46:22Take that, fatty!
00:46:25You'll never defeat me.
00:46:27Don't worry, m'lady, I've got this.
00:46:28Uh, why shouldn't I be worried?
00:46:30You're safe with me.
00:46:30From what?
00:46:31Surrender your weapon, fat boy.
00:46:33Let go of my girl sister or I'll slice you in half like a loaf of bread.
00:46:37Here, man, relax.
00:46:38I'm not a man.
00:46:39I'm your prince.
00:46:42Dude, seriously.
00:46:43Stop messing around.
00:46:45We're actors on a movie.
00:46:46Don't move.
00:46:47I saw it with my own eyes.
00:46:48You attacked her with your sword.
00:46:49No, he didn't.
00:46:50He's my friend.
00:46:53This.
00:46:54It's just a stick.
00:46:55Do you want it?
00:46:56Oh, God!
00:46:57Don't.
00:46:58Do you see?
00:46:58Quiet, my lady.
00:47:00No one can defeat me in combat.
00:47:04Now fight me like a man!
00:47:07Oh!
00:47:13How dare you hit your prince?
00:47:15You aren't a prince.
00:47:17You're a penis.
00:47:19What did she call me?
00:47:19She called you a prince, sir.
00:47:23You're nothing but a little penis.
00:47:26A walking, talking penis.
00:47:31Admit it to everybody here that you are nothing but a penis.
00:47:35Never.
00:47:36Say it!
00:47:37No!
00:47:38No!
00:47:39Ow!
00:47:40Ow!
00:47:40Ow!
00:47:41Mommy!
00:47:41Ow!
00:47:42Mommy!
00:47:49Why don't people like me?
00:47:51They're jealous of you, sir.
00:47:54Am I good looking?
00:47:56Yeah.
00:47:57Yeah, you are.
00:47:58You hesitated for a bit there?
00:48:00No.
00:48:01No, I didn't.
00:48:01Look, look, you did it again!
00:48:03No.
00:48:04You, you, you, you, you...
00:48:06Ow!
00:48:07Ow!
00:48:07Ow!
00:48:07Ow!
00:48:08Ow!
00:48:09Ow!
00:48:09Ow!
00:48:09Ow!
00:48:09Fuck you!
00:48:10You think you're ever going to be king, my boy?
00:48:12You got another thing coming?
00:48:14You're always going to be a little prince who's got a little dick.
00:48:17This is the biggest dick you're ever going to see, my boy.
00:48:20In this water, this reflection is the only dick you're ever going to have.
00:48:29So, are you guys coming with us to Perch Fest, or what?
00:48:32Nah, I don't know.
00:48:33I don't think that place is all seen, really.
00:48:40Who is that?
00:48:44It's that one.
00:48:46No.
00:48:47One with the hair.
00:48:49He's so hot.
00:48:59You two need to leave.
00:49:02There is no place for you in here.
00:49:06Now leave before I smash you with my hammer!
00:49:09Oh, uh, I see.
00:49:12I think I saw another inn a few steps from here.
00:49:15Maybe we should go to that one, shouldn't we?
00:49:19Yeah.
00:49:23Why should we leave?
00:49:25We have the same right to be here as any of you.
00:49:28Who's that, sir?
00:49:31Mary!
00:49:32Oh, no.
00:49:33Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:49:35On the bar!
00:49:46The Meister says it's a miracle he's still alive!
00:49:51Help!
00:49:52Help!
00:49:53Our boy is strong.
00:49:54He will survive.
00:49:56You're safe.
00:49:56I think someone pushed him out of that tower, Deadhead.
00:49:59I think he saw something he shouldn't have seen, and they tried to murder him.
00:50:03Come on!
00:50:04Who are you such a...
00:50:05Johnny and Kirstie?
00:50:07I don't know.
00:50:08The Boltons, the Fry's, the High Pigeon.
00:50:11Could have been anyone.
00:50:12Maybe even the Lay My Sisters.
00:50:14That's outrageous!
00:50:16Those of all the night honorable families you're talking about.
00:50:19The Lay My Sisters would never hurt a child.
00:50:21Oh, no.
00:50:26We have to watch our backs, Deadhead.
00:50:29You never know who would stab us in the back.
00:50:32I think you need to rest.
00:50:34You're becoming paranoid like the vets of that.
00:50:36Wait, wait, wait!
00:50:37Where are you going?
00:50:39I'm going to get to the bottom of this!
00:50:50Lord Stork, the King would like to talk to you in private.
00:50:55Yes, of course.
00:50:57I'll be there.
00:51:03What's happening?
00:51:04What's happening?
00:51:07What's happening?
00:51:11Have you a-hole?
00:51:15I'm sorry!
00:51:18Sex!
00:51:19Step right up!
00:51:20Step right up!
00:51:21Who wants to get a bastard?
00:51:26He ain't making a part of those, too.
00:51:35Come on!
00:51:36I wasn't any good, was I?
00:51:38I wasn't any good.
00:51:39And I wanted to...
00:51:41Fuck!
00:51:42Hello!
00:51:44Having a wonderful time, yeah?
00:51:47Oh, God, I miss your sister.
00:51:49You know, the old days.
00:51:51They were beautiful.
00:51:53Your sister was a real girl.
00:51:55She was such a part of her.
00:51:56Little tits and that little ass of hers.
00:51:58Ah, she was wonderful.
00:52:00She reminds me of you a little bit.
00:52:01How do you keep your stomach flat like that?
00:52:04I have to get on a diet.
00:52:06I mean, I'm good in bed, but I'm not like your sister.
00:52:09She could take 45 people one go.
00:52:11One time, I saw her with the camel.
00:52:13With it all in her mouth, it was quite beautiful in some horrific kind of way.
00:52:18Anyway, do you want to have a little shot with this one?
00:52:22Do you want to have a little shot?
00:52:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:52:27Huh?
00:52:27How can I help you, my lord?
00:52:31What I...
00:52:31Oh, I do need a favor from you.
00:52:34Whatever it is, you can count on me, my lord.
00:52:36Okay.
00:52:37You're like my brother.
00:52:37Yes, all right.
00:52:38Don't interrupt.
00:52:39The king.
00:52:40Now, you know that I am surrounded by a bunch of money-grubbing, ass-licking, scummy little piggy alcoholic.
00:52:48People in this kingdom, and somebody's going to try and kill me tonight.
00:52:52Okay?
00:52:53Listen.
00:52:54Mm-hmm?
00:52:55Listen.
00:52:55We've already discussed this.
00:52:57Don't you?
00:52:58Don't fear to unground it.
00:53:00No one would dare harm a king.
00:53:02Okay, well.
00:53:04I happen to disagree with you, and therefore, I'm going to command you to protect the realm
00:53:11for my little jizzy-wizzy boy, so he can come and take all of the things and have it all,
00:53:17okay?
00:53:18Please.
00:53:19You can count on me, my lord.
00:53:20I mean, I'm not going to...
00:53:21I'll be there.
00:53:21Okay, thank you.
00:53:23All right, go on then.
00:53:24You want a little shot?
00:53:26Because I'm going to go again.
00:53:30Come here.
00:53:57That column won't hit back, you know.
00:54:00Who are you?
00:54:01I am master dancer, lover, and the best swordsman you have ever seen.
00:54:13My name is Zorio Thuriel.
00:54:20Oh, the grip is a bit slippery.
00:54:22Excuse me.
00:54:23What are you doing here?
00:54:24Chasing rats!
00:54:26Part of your training?
00:54:27No.
00:54:28The rodent situation in King's Shire is out of hand.
00:54:32Sword.
00:54:33Here.
00:54:34Catch this sword.
00:54:36Looks like your reflexes could use some practice.
00:54:40Pick up your weapon.
00:54:43That is not the way, boy.
00:54:47I'm a girl.
00:54:48That cannot be true.
00:54:49Anyway, this is how you pick up a sword.
00:55:05I'm just showing you how not to do it.
00:55:09Wouldn't want to knock yourself in the giggle berries.
00:55:12I don't have giggle berries.
00:55:15Oh, I need to switch.
00:55:15I'm a girl.
00:55:20Oh, this sword is all badly balanced.
00:55:28Last time.
00:55:32Now, that is how you do it.
00:55:35Now, get into the fighting position.
00:55:41That is not the fighting position.
00:55:44Turn to me side-faced.
00:55:47Sideway.
00:55:47Yes, that is what I said.
00:55:49Side-faced.
00:55:50I have been the first swordman of the bravados for 20 years.
00:55:53You must listen to me, boy.
00:55:55I'm a girl.
00:55:56No way.
00:55:57Where are your boobies, then?
00:55:58I'm like 10.
00:55:59Very well, then.
00:56:00I'm side-faced.
00:56:04Good.
00:56:05Now, try to strike me.
00:56:08Oh!
00:56:09Oh, you...
00:56:10I wasn't expecting that.
00:56:12I'm sorry.
00:56:13Knock the wind out of me.
00:56:15Let me help you up.
00:56:17You have to wait for me to say go, okay?
00:56:23Go.
00:56:24Not above the shoulders!
00:56:26I don't have the proper gear for that.
00:56:28You're only supposed to hit me in this section here.
00:56:31Follow me.
00:56:31I will teach you to fandango.
00:56:35And then perhaps you will become a great swordsman like me.
00:56:47Fandango, hop-ah!
00:56:52Yeah!
00:56:53There!
00:56:54Olé!
00:56:55Olé!
00:57:00Ariana!
00:57:01What in the name of the old god are you doing?
00:57:04Zoria was teaching me to fandango.
00:57:06Zoria Furiel at your service.
00:57:09We must go.
00:57:10First best is about to begin.
00:57:12Yes, father.
00:57:13Keep practicing and you will go far.
00:57:15I must go to chase the rats!
00:57:17Good luck, boy!
00:57:23Hello, everybody.
00:57:25It's me, Lloyd Trumpet,
00:57:28here at the tremendous trumpet mace.
00:57:31Everyone loves this mace.
00:57:32You know why?
00:57:33Because only white people can get through it.
00:57:36And brown people get trapped.
00:57:39Sir!
00:57:41Sir!
00:57:42I'm stuck!
00:57:42Sir!
00:57:42I'm stuck!
00:57:43Sir!
00:57:43Sir!
00:57:45Sir!
00:57:46I can't get out!
00:57:47Sir!
00:57:48Sir!
00:57:48Sir!
00:57:49Sir!
00:57:51Oh, no, Johnny.
00:57:57What did you do, KK?
00:57:58Why did you have to stab him?
00:58:00I didn't stab him.
00:58:01Yes, you did.
00:58:02You're a murderer, a mate.
00:58:04I didn't do it.
00:58:06Okay, if you didn't, then you did it.
00:58:10I didn't do it.
00:58:12I saw you do it.
00:58:13Me?
00:58:14No!
00:58:15I'd never kill John, though.
00:58:17You sure about that?
00:58:18Oh, no, I did.
00:58:20Oh, yeah.
00:58:22Oh, yeah, I did.
00:58:23Okay, well, let's just get him into the back room, okay?
00:58:25Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:58:26Okay.
00:58:27Sam, come on!
00:58:28Okay, let's go.
00:58:29Oh, my God.
00:58:33Eight hundred paces will be in Kingshire.
00:58:36I will be the first female ruler of all of Wild Westworld.
00:58:41My destiny awaits.
00:58:47Do you have horse heart by any chance?
00:58:51Horse heart?
00:58:52Horse heart?
00:58:54Okay.
00:58:55Can you make it so sad, babe?
00:58:58Okay.
00:58:59Let's go this way.
00:59:02Oh, no, no.
00:59:03Johnny, what do we do?
00:59:05What do we do?
00:59:06His clothes.
00:59:07Rip them off.
00:59:08Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:59:09Help.
00:59:10Copy.
00:59:11No chance.
00:59:13Can you get his...
00:59:16Hello, lady boys.
00:59:18Oh, look who it is.
00:59:20It's the Red Sorcerers.
00:59:22Oh, perhaps you can bring him back to life.
00:59:24Uh, that's not the Red Sorcerers.
00:59:26That's our stepdad, Transgender.
00:59:29All right.
00:59:30I'm out.
00:59:32What's going on?
00:59:33That man saved us from the bad people and now he's dead.
00:59:38Why are his clothes coming off?
00:59:40We just wanted to see what he looked like naked.
00:59:43Oh, oh, is that what you're looking for?
00:59:45Oh, I can just tell you what he looks like.
00:59:48Oh.
00:59:50He's so, so warm.
00:59:52And so, so soft.
00:59:56Leave the room.
00:59:58I can't make any promises.
01:00:00I need to work my gas fingers.
01:00:08Oh, my God.
01:00:09Oh, my God.
01:00:11Oh, my God.
01:00:12Oh, my God.
01:00:15Oh, my God.
01:00:16Oh, my God.
01:00:16Oh, my God.
01:00:17Oh, my God.
01:00:19Oh, my God.
01:00:19Oh, my God.
01:00:20Oh, my God.
01:00:20Oh, my God.
01:00:21Oh, my God.
01:00:21Oh, my God.
01:00:22Oh, my God.
01:00:22Oh, my God.
01:00:22Oh, my God.
01:00:23Oh, my God.
01:00:23Oh, my God.
01:00:24Oh, my God.
01:00:24Oh, my God.
01:00:25Oh, my God.
01:00:27Oh, my God.
01:00:32I'm going to kill you.
01:00:35Go.
01:00:37Go alone with your other dragon.
01:00:40Go.
01:00:41Go alone with your fucking dragon.
01:00:48At least it's not a match.
01:00:49My sun and my stars.
01:00:57May I borrow your bullet?
01:01:00My hair is falling all over my head.
01:01:10Here.
01:01:12Take it.
01:01:17Burn him.
01:01:19Gabe?
01:01:21Let's go conquer the Eight Kingdoms.
01:01:23Sorry, buddy.
01:01:26Oh, no!
01:01:28Dad?
01:01:29Are you going to be much longer
01:01:30to just burn a metal line in the pub?
01:01:33I'm just going to magic.
01:01:34What do you need?
01:01:35I just wanted to make sure
01:01:36everything is okay.
01:01:38Yes, everything is fine.
01:01:39Just let me finish.
01:01:40Okay, I will.
01:02:06I'm falling.
01:02:07What just happened?
01:02:08Who did this?
01:02:09Who?
01:02:10Who?
01:02:10Who are you?
01:02:11I'm falling.
01:02:11What are you doing in my son's room?
01:02:14What?
01:02:15What?
01:02:15Set up there.
01:02:16Where?
01:02:21That's a funny place to keep a rabbit.
01:02:23Show your face, you coward!
01:02:25Show your face, you...
01:02:27What?
01:02:28Oh, no!
01:02:29Say it that, my boy,
01:02:31I would catch the man who has tried to kill you!
01:02:34You...
01:02:35You were dead.
01:02:37I just blew you back to life!
01:02:40You're not going to put it there, are you?
01:02:43I'm not doing it!
01:02:49Who is that?
01:02:50Oh, that's Summer.
01:02:52Summer is coming.
01:02:59That must be him!
01:03:12I don't know how you managed to do all of us at once.
01:03:16You're a true master.
01:03:18Well, if I told you my secret, I'd have to kill you both.
01:03:23Oh!
01:03:25Right.
01:03:25So close your eyes now.
01:03:27Come on.
01:03:27Both of you, close your eyes.
01:03:29That's it.
01:03:39There.
01:03:40You can open them now.
01:03:43Your time is up, troll!
01:03:45You're coming with us!
01:03:46Where to?
01:03:47Grab him!
01:03:48Oh!
01:03:49Excuse me.
01:03:53Oh!
01:03:54Oh!
01:03:54Oh!
01:03:54Oh!
01:03:54Put me down, you shirtless!
01:03:55Oh, come on, troll.
01:03:56Now, wait!
01:03:57Wait!
01:03:57I haven't had a chance to punch my frequent tour card!
01:04:01Oh!
01:04:01Keep it in your pants, troll!
01:04:03Oh!
01:04:03Tell me, brother!
01:04:04there!
01:04:05No!
01:04:15Oh!
01:04:19Please!
01:04:20Look!
01:04:20Please!
01:04:21Come on, come on.
01:04:23Oh, we're getting out!
01:04:25Oh!
01:04:30Oh!
01:04:31Oh!
01:04:32Oh!
01:04:32Oh!
01:04:33Oh!
01:04:34Oh!
01:04:48Please, look, please.
01:04:51We have to be reasonable about this, Ian.
01:04:53If you explain what it is that you want, I'm sure we can sort it.
01:04:56If I'm not at the Perch Fest in the next couple of hours, all my family's going to come looking
01:04:59for me.
01:05:02Why did you do it?
01:05:03Why did I do what?
01:05:05Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:05:06Ooh.
01:05:07Why did you do it?
01:05:09If you explain to me what it is that I did, perhaps I can tell you why I did it.
01:05:14Oh, I don't...
01:05:17Oh, bloody hell.
01:05:24I think I'm chafing from all the walking already.
01:05:28Oh, John, you wouldn't happen to have some of that oil you put on your hair to rub on my
01:05:34thighs, would you?
01:05:39No.
01:05:40Oh.
01:05:40What?
01:05:40What is it?
01:05:41Is the flesh too bright?
01:05:42No, no.
01:05:43We need to get out of here.
01:05:44Well, there is no way I'm leaving this party early.
01:05:48Stop, stop, stop.
01:05:50Look, I know the future and shit's about to pop off.
01:05:53Quick, take a photo of me holding the statue's tiny penis.
01:05:57Okay.
01:05:59Okay.
01:05:59How's that?
01:06:00Do I look like I'm holding it?
01:06:02Yeah, right on it.
01:06:04That's small enough?
01:06:05Yeah.
01:06:06Okay.
01:06:20Guys, I just farted.
01:06:23Quiet.
01:06:24Seriously, it's like a Dutch oven in here.
01:06:25You want the grape?
01:06:26Come on, grape.
01:06:28You've discovered.
01:06:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:06:32Where is your mother and your brother?
01:06:34Purge Fest is about to begin.
01:06:42Welcome to Purge Fest 3000.
01:06:48For as long as I can remember, my kingdom has been, well, it's been known for its sexual perversions, isn't
01:06:55it?
01:06:56And for its corruption.
01:07:00It's violence, it's betrayals, and it's bloodshed.
01:07:05We're going to put an end to all that.
01:07:09There's going to be no more raping and no more killing around here.
01:07:14We're going to hand in our smartphones because I don't want no more pornography.
01:07:19And we're going to hand in all of our weapons, and by I mean everything.
01:07:23I mean no more kitchen knives, no more forks, nothing you can do nothing with.
01:07:31Did they read the invite?
01:07:35Most of the people in our kingdom are illiterate, my lord.
01:07:38They just heard there was free food and a party.
01:07:42I have the king just where I want him.
01:07:47Now, after just a little manipulation of Johnny Bang Bang, then it's just a matter of time before I mount
01:07:56the throne.
01:07:57Enough!
01:07:59I'm the fucking king.
01:08:01And I declare that the only one participating in these violent activities is going to be expelled from the Eight
01:08:11Kingdoms.
01:08:17What?
01:08:18The storks have kidnapped my little brother.
01:08:20I demand he be released immediately.
01:08:21Wait a minute.
01:08:22No, I mean, you told me this morning you wanted that little fella punished.
01:08:26Didn't you?
01:08:27Yes, I despise him.
01:08:30But he's still my little brother.
01:08:31I can't allow a stork to kidnap someone with my own blood.
01:08:36If they don't return him to us immediately,
01:08:40you must ban them from the Eight Kingdoms according to the declaration you just made.
01:08:51Come on, you wretched scussball.
01:08:54I'm going to get you already.
01:08:55Hold still.
01:08:57Big troll.
01:08:58Meet your guards as an honest man.
01:09:02Confess.
01:09:02Never.
01:09:04All right, I confess.
01:09:05I confess.
01:09:06I choked him.
01:09:07Then slapped him all around the floor till he bled.
01:09:10I'm an evil man.
01:09:11Who are you talking about?
01:09:12The Lord Commander of the Southern Forces.
01:09:14He's here.
01:09:15In my pants.
01:09:17Would you like to meet him?
01:09:18Tell me the truth.
01:09:20All right, all right, I confess.
01:09:21I'm the reason why all the dragons are extinct.
01:09:24Oh.
01:09:24I screwed them all into the extinction.
01:09:27I built the wall with my wank hammer.
01:09:29I stabbed the crazy king with my flesh saber.
01:09:32That's enough.
01:09:33You tried to kill my son.
01:09:37Why would I want to kill your son?
01:09:39I don't know.
01:09:40You tell me.
01:09:41I hate you.
01:09:44What?
01:09:45No more wax.
01:09:46Ha ha ha.
01:09:55Yes.
01:09:56I got you.
01:09:59Oh no.
01:10:00Oh no.
01:10:01Oh no.
01:10:03Oh no.
01:10:07Oh shit.
01:10:12What was that?
01:10:14The king gives you fireworks.
01:10:15What the fuck is that?
01:10:20Well, I guess we know what happened to the dragon fire now.
01:10:29You check it out.
01:10:30I'll take care of the troll.
01:10:31Yes mother.
01:10:33Oh.
01:10:35Oh.
01:10:35Oh.
01:10:38Oh.
01:10:38Now we will have to find some other way to kill the king.
01:10:41Whoever did this must have known our plans.
01:10:44Where's your mother?
01:10:45She has the troll.
01:10:46She's trying to make him confess.
01:10:48You must go now and tell her to bring him to the feast immediately or entire families could
01:10:52be banned from the eighth kingdom.
01:10:54Yes father.
01:10:55I should go now.
01:10:55This was the work of a true genius.
01:11:05Yes.
01:11:06I did it.
01:11:08I caught them all.
01:11:10I am the dragon's master.
01:11:22This is so much better than anything here.
01:11:25Father.
01:11:27Come to help.
01:11:29John.
01:11:30I thought you were at the wall.
01:11:32I thought you were in trouble father.
01:11:34Who told you we might be in trouble?
01:11:36My friend Ham.
01:11:37Ham?
01:11:39The fat guy?
01:11:45Look.
01:11:46Just one bite.
01:11:48No.
01:11:49No.
01:11:50I mean.
01:11:51Come on.
01:11:52Get out.
01:11:54Where is the troll?
01:11:57I know nothing about the troll.
01:11:59I swear to it.
01:12:00He's lying.
01:12:01Look at him.
01:12:02Release him at once or be banished from the kingdom my brother.
01:12:07Both before house.
01:12:09He is your grace.
01:12:11This troll tried to murder my son.
01:12:15That's not true.
01:12:16I'm innocent.
01:12:18That's a very low thing that you did there troll.
01:12:22I'm going to have to cut you down to size.
01:12:25Since you're in the arena.
01:12:26I demand a trial by twerking.
01:12:29Twerking.
01:12:41What's twerking?
01:12:42Allow me your grace to defend my family's honor.
01:12:45No bastard.
01:12:46As the firstborn, I shall defend my mother's honor.
01:12:49The two of you, sit down.
01:12:51I'm the one who must defend my wife's honor.
01:12:55Hey.
01:12:56I will twerk the troll to death.
01:12:59Wait a second.
01:13:00You're four times the size of me.
01:13:02I demand a champion.
01:13:03I have the right.
01:13:04Well, who's your champion going to be?
01:13:08I name my nephew.
01:13:10She's elaze my sister.
01:13:12Let's see him twerk.
01:13:13I can't twerk.
01:13:14I'm just a dick.
01:13:17About time you admitted it.
01:13:19Right.
01:13:19I choose Hordeaux.
01:13:26Hordeaux.
01:13:33Come on.
01:13:36Show him, Dad.
01:13:39Hey, Charlie.
01:13:40Get it, baby.
01:13:41You're a lovely man.
01:13:42Come on.
01:13:45Help.
01:13:46Yep.
01:13:46Yep.
01:13:47No.
01:13:47No.
01:13:52I do not wish to continue this battle.
01:13:55I would spare Hordeaux's life and let the troll live.
01:13:59I demand nothing in return.
01:14:04It was my friend.
01:14:06He could have been somebody instead of a bum.
01:14:11No.
01:14:13No.
01:14:15No.
01:14:20I want you to die.
01:14:27I want you to die.
01:14:31My own wife.
01:14:33My own beautiful wife.
01:14:37What happened to you?
01:14:41Jizzy's not yours, son.
01:14:44Jizzy's not yours, son.
01:14:51He really ripses like me.
01:14:53Oh, my precious.
01:14:55I'm king.
01:14:57I'm king!
01:14:59Yes, son.
01:15:00Of course, you're king.
01:15:00You're king.
01:15:08I'm king.
01:15:10And you're mine.
01:15:13I'm king.
01:15:14Guards!
01:15:15Kill all the storks.
01:15:16Kill them all!
01:15:17Kill everyone!
01:15:18Wait, except Lensia.
01:15:19I want to give her a pearl necklace and a foot rub.
01:15:30That's it.
01:15:32That's it.
01:15:50You want some, do ya?
01:15:52Do ya?
01:15:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:16:01Arty.
01:16:08I can't wait, you little bastard.
01:16:11Shut up.
01:16:14Go back to the wall.
01:16:20Stop.
01:16:25I.
01:16:27Oh.
01:16:44Oh, no.
01:16:46Oh, no.
01:16:48Oh, no.
01:16:50Oh, no.
01:17:07Who wants to see a magic trick?
01:17:12Ah! I'm melting!
01:17:15Melting!
01:17:16Melting!
01:17:17Melting!
01:17:29This is Trumpet Arena, the greatest arena in the world. I own it.
01:17:35I strongly advise you to leave the area, sir.
01:17:37I am so sick of you, Miller. You don't know anything.
01:17:42But I just want to protect you, sir.
01:17:44We could have made American train again.
01:17:46Idiot. People of Wild Western World.
01:17:51I've done everything for you.
01:17:54And all I ask in return is that you capture that woman and grab her by the pussy.
01:18:02Grab her by the pussy.
01:18:15Oh, man.
01:18:18Oh, man.
01:18:30Well, if it isn't John Doe.
01:18:33How's the life of an inbred prince?
01:18:35It's going great, thanks. How's life being a Mexican gardener?
01:18:38Let's go, princess.
01:18:44Oh, Jesus.
01:18:47Good night, Mexican.
01:19:13I told you I'm motherfuckers you're always going to die.
01:19:15Oh, Jesus.
01:19:24Living!
01:19:25The throne is mine.
01:19:28The goddamn throne.
01:19:31Oh, he's mine.
01:19:35He's mine.
01:19:36Wow.
01:19:38What's wrong?
01:19:46seven kingdoms now all perished death is certain life is not
01:19:59but not in this movie you don't think we're actually going to kill everybody did you
01:20:02come on man this is hollywood we need a sequel
01:20:25those lights can't reaction when i step into the limelight easily adapted to the high life
01:20:30dressed to impress like it's prom night and when you live in top shelf you know you've got to set
01:20:35the bar high had the same dreams since we was kids big different because you're a bigger crips
01:20:40never thought that it would happen just the way it did fast forward that now it's just the way we
01:20:45live
01:20:45let's go food and drink some more makes you think that this life's made for a gang
01:20:50it won't start to shake so smooth if you blink you might just miss the whole thing it's just a
01:20:56different
01:21:20that's
01:21:21Talking about this high life, I mean it's high as you go
01:21:24That's kites, planes, clouds, the bank accounts that I own
01:21:26Funny thing it all started from a plan and a poem
01:21:29Good evening, it's Peripheral American Dragon
01:21:31I'm here with one of the, uh, well, uh, the soul funder, actually, of this movie
01:21:36Mr. Donald J. Trump
01:21:39Yes, Donald J. Trump, the J's for John
01:21:42For John?
01:21:43For John
01:21:43I can always be for Jesus now
01:21:45So you produced Purge of Thrones, and you're one of the characters
01:21:48Tell us, how did you audition for the role?
01:21:51Uh, good question
01:21:52This is a skin I shedded, like a snake, at least three weeks ago
01:21:57We're here with two of our lovely cast members
01:22:01Would you like to introduce yourselves?
01:22:02First of all, I am just lovely without this
01:22:05What's this?
01:22:07You did it
01:22:08Yeah, lovely, I was just like, you know, emphasising it
01:22:11Now you said you had a penis voice, what's your penis voice?
01:22:13Your penis voice is a little bit deep
01:22:17How's it going, Mum?
01:22:18Living the Mother of Dragon dream
01:22:20Why is that dream?
01:22:23Yeah, conquering the Kingdoms
01:22:25Eight Kingdoms?
01:22:26Yeah, I think
01:22:27And what, what are these Kingdoms?
01:22:29Oh my gosh, uh, I don't know
01:23:00Does it really matter?
01:23:02At the end of the shoot, but actually I just took out that word and replaced it with life
01:23:04So this is now my genuine castle
01:23:07Uh, some of it's on flames, yep
01:23:08Uh, we just put some of it on fire
01:23:10So, uh, we've got about 20 minutes before that place burns to the ground
01:23:13And we lose yet another English heritage site
01:23:16During the process, what moment has led you to feel most in tune with yourself on set?
01:23:22Whiskey
01:23:22Whiskey, great
01:23:24Thanks so much
01:23:25Great, great job
01:23:25Thanks very much
01:23:31Can I get some care?
01:23:33Luis, what do you enjoy most about Purge of Thrones?
01:23:36Well, obviously everyone, because everyone's been great
01:23:39Most people just save the money
01:23:41No, because I'm not going to get paid
01:23:43I'm just
01:23:43Really?
01:23:44Yeah, yeah, I'm just hanging out
01:23:45I guess it's how they afford everyone else's exorbitant things
01:23:49Exactly
01:23:49You're not helping me with Lou Frigg, how am I supposed to answer serious questions to a man who's dressed
01:23:54like
01:23:54What do you mean? I'm a genuine magic dragon
01:23:56He's just not going to work
01:23:57I'm directing this, I wrote this, and I'm funding this
01:24:00This is going to be the biggest film in the history of films since, what, the Titanic, which is huge
01:24:06But this is going to sweep the Academy Awards next year, just sweep it
01:24:10We're going to make Purging great again
01:24:13No one purges like me
01:24:14You know what?
01:24:15Make Purging great again?
01:24:16Yes
01:24:16That's what we're going for
01:24:17That's what we're going for
01:24:18I don't think they've paid enough gold for this, guys
01:24:21All of this is lies
01:24:23It's a bunch of crap
01:24:24It's crap
01:24:25These guys are losers
01:24:27They're lightweights
01:24:28They're nobodies
01:24:29They don't know me
01:24:30They don't know how great I am
01:24:32All they do is spread dis-information about me
01:24:36I am so sick of watching this crap
01:24:39Every single night
01:24:40They don't know me
01:24:41They don't know how tremendous I am
01:24:43They don't know how fantastic I am
01:24:45What a great guy I am
01:24:46What a great businessman I am
01:24:47This is all just fake news
01:24:49Every single night
01:24:50It's just fake news about me
01:24:52And I'm a really, really nice guy
01:24:55And I shouldn't be picked on like this
01:24:57Pants!
01:25:00They don't want you to take any and do that
01:25:02Maybe there's thousands of people who fell past me
01:25:05And I'm a까 thought not wrong
01:25:06Alright, let's go
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