00:37Absolute rot, Lazlo. It's lovely. Freddy needs a nanny. He needs a nanny, Lazlo, because Freddy's been a very naughty
00:44boy.
00:45How old is your son?
00:47Excuse me?
00:47How old is your son?
00:49I don't have children. I can't stand the little brats. But Freddy needs a nanny.
00:52All right, that's enough of him. God, who gave this guy a green card?
00:56This is Chatterbox. We're talking about short guys, nannies, taxes, and anything sane you'd like to bring to the party.
01:02Hello, you are on Chatterbox.
01:04I was listening to that caller about taxes. His views were a little extreme.
01:08How do you expect to be a responsible member of society if you don't understand how the government spends your
01:12money?
01:12Why are people afraid of numbers?
01:14Sine and cosine are two of the most elegant and incredible discoveries of humanity.
01:18I mean, the Cartesian coordinate system has an elemental power I find liberating and even sexy.
01:23And I'm not ashamed to say it.
01:24Okay, thanks for calling. Now that we've lost 98% of our audience, let's reward the other 2% with
01:30a commercial.
01:30When we come back, we'll have a special studio guest. Special because he advertises on this radio station.
01:36Remember, it's not a conflict of interest if we own all the radio stations in town.
01:40We'll be right back after this message.
01:42In today's fast-paced world, a split second can be the difference between achieving your dreams...
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02:39We'll upgrade your system, then you can upgrade your life.
02:42And now it is my great pleasure to welcome Fernando Martinez, who it says here is the founder of Fernando's
02:49New Beginnings, a revolutionary new way of saving your marriage.
02:52Fernando, welcome.
02:53The pleasure is mine, Laszlo.
02:54It is an honor to be here.
02:56I feel blessed.
02:57Ah, thanks.
02:58So, tell me about Fernando's New Beginnings.
03:00Truly, Laszlo, it is a miracle, a blessing.
03:03It is a revolution in the marriage guidance.
03:05For my people, marriage is, how'd you say, sacred.
03:10The bond between the father and the mother, it is made in heaven and in the bedroom, if you know
03:16what I mean.
03:16Uh, I think so.
03:18For my people, it is the holiest, most sacrosanct thing imaginable, like a church.
03:24Yet, for it to be a happy marriage, it must also be like a brothel.
03:28The woman, she must be many, many arts, be scared in making house, cooking, changing the diapers on the babies,
03:35and she must also be a whore.
03:37A vixen in the bedroom, imaginative, exotic, constantly fresh.
03:43It is impossible.
03:44You change diapers and then you are a French maid?
03:47Fernando thinks not.
03:48Fernando knows not.
03:50Well, I mean, you know, it's an age-old problem.
03:52I mean, how do you keep the excitement in a marriage?
03:54Excitement, exactly.
03:56Passion, danger.
03:57How, Laszlo?
03:58How?
03:59Tell me how, and I give you a big, big kiss.
04:03Like I gave a woman.
04:04But I am not going to give you a big kiss.
04:07Not a kiss like I gave a woman, or even a donkey.
04:10Because, because, you do not know.
04:12Well, I mean, in this case, ignorance kind of seems like bliss.
04:15I wasn't really up for kissing on air, I mean.
04:18Why not, Laszlo?
04:19Am I not attractive?
04:20Am I not irresistible, even to you?
04:23Well, no matter.
04:24Why all this talking about kissing?
04:25I mean, you brought it up.
04:27No, my friend.
04:28You say you not want to kiss me.
04:30I was talking how to say hypothetically.
04:33You make me all personal.
04:35It's a big difference.
04:36If I say, imagine if your wife was ugly.
04:39You can nod your head.
04:40But if I say, hey, Laszlo, your wife, she looks like yesterday's dinner after I eat.
04:45You not so happy.
04:46It's a big difference, my friend.
04:48Anyway.
04:49The marriage is impossible, Laszlo.
04:51If a man was born an angel, maybe impossible.
04:55But a man is born a man.
04:58And a man with knees.
05:00He needs a woman to tuck his babies into the bed.
05:03But for his bed, he needs something else.
05:05Something magical.
05:06A dream.
05:08So he starts flirting with his secretary.
05:11Takes her out for a drink.
05:12One thing leads to another.
05:13And before...
05:14He needs a man.
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